A Real Pain (2024)

1. Hey, Benji. It's me. I'm just leaving my apartment.

2. Remember, we gotta be there, like, three hours early.

3. Yeah, just, um, ring me when you get this.

4. Hey, Benji. I hope you left already

5. 'cause I'm stuck in a little traffic on the BQE.

6. Just in case you can avoid it.

7. Uh, anyway, just ring me when you get this.

8. Hey, Benji. Actually, traffic just cleared up.

9. So that's pretty good, if you were worried.

10. Maybe you weren't. Anyway, just ring me

11. when you get this, anyway.

12. Hey, Benji. I'm sorry I'm leaving so many messages.

13. Just... Sorry. You can disregard them 'cause I'm...

14. I'll be there soon, and I, uh...

15. Yeah. I can't wait to see you,

16. and I will not leave you another message. Okay. Bye.

17. Hey, Benji. Uh, I just got to the airport.

18. I really hope you left already or that you're, like,

19. I don't know, on your way.

20. Anyway, just, uh, ring me when you get this.

21. Whoa!

22. - Oh, God. You made it. - What's up, cuz?

23. Oh, man, come here. I called you so many times.

24. Step back, dude. Let me have a look at you.

25. It's so good to see... Yeah.

26. - Okay. - Turn around. I wanna see

27. - the whole fucking picture. - What? Really?

28. - Twirl. Twirly dervish. - Okay, okay.

29. - All right, all right. - Yeah, man, look at you.

30. Healthy, wealthy, and wise. You look good.

31. All right, listen, I think we should check you in.

32. - I did a thing online. I... - Oh, no, I did it.

33. - I checked in a while ago. - Did you?

34. - Yeah. - Sorry. When did you get here?

35. Few hours ago.

36. - Really? - Yeah.

37. I mean, the flight's not for another, like, two hours.

38. Yeah, but they open the airport super early.

39. You can just come here and hang out.

40. - Wow. Okay. - Mm-hmm.

41. You meet the craziest fucking people here, dude.

42. Oh. And did you eat anything?

43. - I did. Yeah. No, yeah. - Okay.

44. Just 'cause I'm gonna wanna get something

45. - before we take off. - Don't worry about it, man.

46. I got you a yogurt. It's a little warm.

47. - Warm? - It's been in my pocket.

48. Shit, I don't have a spoon. That's okay. You just sort of

49. squeeze it, slurp it.

50. Did you really get this for me?

51. Yeah, of course, dude.

52. - All right, you got your shit? - Okay. Yeah.

53. - You know what else? - What?

54. I also got some good shit for when we land.

55. Like, very, very good shit.

56. Wait. You're not, like, taking weed into Poland, are you?

57. - Oh, yeah. - Benji?

58. They don't give a shit about that stuff, man.

59. - I'm telling you... - Mm, I think they very much

60. do give a shit about that stuff.

61. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Really? - Yeah.

62. They're gonna arrest two Jews in Poland

63. for a little bit of weed?

64. That's a good look for the Polish people.

65. Okay. All right. Just try to keep it down, okay?

66. Okay, yeah. Don't say "marijuana."

67. - Arms out. - Wait, really?

68. Sorry. It doesn't normally... Thanks.

69. This one? This little one?

70. - It's a gift from my dad. - Oh.

71. - Dad? - Yeah.

72. Of course it was.

73. Do you have something like this?

74. - No way. - Yeah.

75. I don't... I was way off.

76. Okay, bye.

77. - Bye. - Bye.

78. Oh. There you go.

79. - She is so dope. - Okay. Arms out.

80. - Who? - The TSA agent.

81. Her dad does security for the Knicks.

82. Huh.

83. Did you want some?

84. - Mm. - Uh, Priya made it for me.

85. - Yeah, right. - Uh, no. I'm... Yeah, okay.

86. - Yeah. - Yeah?

87. What is that? A fucking Brazil nut?

88. Yo. So, like, how you been, man?

89. - Honestly, dude? - Yeah.

90. I've been...

91. great. Been, like, really fucking great.

92. Oh.

93. You wanna go over our tour itinerary or anything?

94. Okay.

95. Mm.

96. Can you hold that for me, actually?

97. - Yeah, sure. - Yeah.

98. - Have as much as you want. - Yeah?

99. Don't you think it'll be nice for us

100. to see where Grandma was from?

101. You know, where she lived?

102. Mm-hmm.

103. I can't even follow this.

104. - I'll just... - Sure.

105. do whatever the group does.

106. Sure.

107. Hi.

108. What seat you got?

109. Uh, 24 A.

110. Mm. I'm B. I think we're middle and window.

111. - Oh, yeah. - Hey, man.

112. - You mind taking middle? - Um...

113. How you feeling in there, dude?

114. Uh, it's a little tight.

115. - You still looking for a job? - Nah.

116. Hmm.

117. So, you have to, like, work the whole trip?

118. No. No, no. I was able to take the week

119. like, completely free.

120. - I wanna be here. - Great.

121. I wanna be like... You know, I wanna be present.

122. - Good, man. Excellent. - Yeah.

123. You still, like,

124. sellin' shit online?

125. I mean, I don't, like, sell used jerseys on eBay.

126. I do, like, digital ad sales.

127. - Yeah. - Okay.

128. So, you know, when you see, like, an ad banner online?

129. Oh, yeah. God, I hate that shit.

130. Hey, come on.

131. No, no. No, I just mean, like, everybody hates that shit,

132. - you know. Mm, yeah. - Do they?

133. That's what I do. That's my job.

134. - It's cool, man. - I sell those.

135. - It's cool. It's cool, dude. - Okay.

136. You're making the world go around. It's fine.

137. - Yeah. - That's not your fault.

138. You're just, like, part of a fucked-up system.

139. I mean, without online ads, actually a lot of the websites

140. that you visit for free wouldn't be able to exist.

141. It's kind of like the lifeblood of the Internet.

142. - Hey, dude, dude. - Yeah.

143. I think they want us to pay attention.

144. Yeah, no, I just wanted to, like, finish the story.

145. Yeah, yeah. No. It's just... It's just kind of rude, man.

146. - Are you serious? - Yeah.

147. - Just trying to do their jobs. - To fasten your seatbelt,

148. insert the metal end into the...

149. This is a security announcement.

150. Please maintain control of your personal belongings

151. at all time.

152. Hey, are you okay?

153. Uh, yeah. I don't know.

154. Oh. There's our guy. Yo. Dude.

155. - What's up? That's us. - Hey.

156. Kaplans.

157. What you looking at?

158. I don't know. It's stupid. I don't...

159. I think I'm already homesick.

160. I don't know. It's just, uh, Abe.

161. He's, like, obsessed with buildings now.

162. He wants to know the height of every skyscraper.

163. It's kind of, like, all-encompassing.

164. - Okay. - Yeah.

165. Let me see it?

166. Yeah. Yeah, sure.

167. That's right.

168. And how many floors is the Empire State Building?

169. 103.

170. Okay. How many floors is 30 Hudson Yards?

171. 112. But the balcony is on the 100.

172. Yes!

173. How many floors is the Empire State Building?

174. 103.

175. Okay. How many floors is 30 Hudson Yards?

176. 112.

177. - You packed pajamas? - Yeah, of course I did.

178. - Two pairs. - Really? But really?

179. - You mean, like, the whole... - You wanna borrow some?

180. like, what, Victorian nightgown

181. with the slippers and the cap?

182. No, man. I don't think I even own that.

183. Hi. Dzien Dobry. Welcome to the Warsaw Central Hotel.

184. Thank you so much. Yeah, we're checking in.

185. We're with the, uh, Heritage Tour.

186. Kaplan, Benjamin and David. I have our passports here.

187. - Yes, of course. Welcome. - Thank you.

188. You're the final ones to arrive.

189. And I think I have a package for you.

190. It's been sitting here for many days.

191. That's for me, actually.

192. - Okay. - Thank you.

193. - There you go. - Thanks.

194. You're on the fifth floor,

195. and there's a group meeting in 30 minutes.

196. - Thank you so much. - Great. Thank you.

197. Fifth floor? Thanks.

198. What the hell is that?

199. Oh, it's the weed. I told you. It's, like, really good stuff.

200. I got it from Todd. This fucking barber in Ithaca.

201. Wait. You mailed yourself weed?

202. No, man. I mailed us weed.

203. Are you serio... I thought you were, like,

204. taking it through the airport.

205. - Really? - Yes, really.

206. Did you not see how nervous I was?

207. No, I did. I just thought that was you.

208. I'm so fuckin' happy to be here with you right now.

209. Me too.

210. Oh, God.

211. All right. We got a half an hour.

212. I'm gonna have to shower.

213. Good idea.

214. Sweet! Closet.

215. Oh, yeah. Dude, I totally forgot.

216. You have super nice feet.

217. - Do I? - Yeah,

218. and they've aged really well too.

219. Toes are mad straight. It's nice.

220. Um, okay. Thank you.

221. No weird feet knuckles

222. or stray hairs or anything. Very classy.

223. Really?

224. - Oh, yeah. - That's interesting.

225. I never really evaluated them, I guess.

226. You never evaluated your own feet?

227. - No. - Come on, dude.

228. They're graceful as fuck.

229. Look at 'em. They remind me of Grandma's feet.

230. You remember Grandma's feet?

231. 'Course I remember Grandma's feet.

232. She always wore those pink plastic

233. fuckin' sandals from Target.

234. She used to strut that shit all over town.

235. Really?

236. You know, sometimes I look at you.

237. - Yeah? - I see her.

238. I look like an old Jewish woman?

239. No, man, you look wise.

240. And I don't know, it's beautiful.

241. - Really? - Yeah.

242. Thanks. All right. All right.

243. - I'm gonna shower, okay? - Cool.

244. - Yeah. - Mind if I shower first?

245. Um, no, sure.

246. Oh, hey, can I borrow your phone?

247. Um, yeah, sure. For what?

248. Just 'cause I like to listen to music in the shower.

249. Don't you have a phone?

250. Yeah, but it doesn't play music.

251. Um...

252. Yeah, sure. Here you go.

253. - Sweet. - Yeah.

254. Shower time.

255. Zameldowali się godzinę temu.

256. - Dzięki bardzo. - Nie ma za co.

257. - Hi. Sorry. - Hi.

258. Let me guess. David and Benjamin?

259. - Hi, yeah. You're James? - Yeah.

260. - Hi, yes. I am James. Hi. - Hey. How's it going?

261. - Hi. Benji. - Yeah.

262. - You're Benji? Okay, hi. - Benji. Yeah. Benji.

263. Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to accost you.

264. I just thought I should intercept

265. in case you weren't sure where we were.

266. - Thanks. - So, it's a nice, small group.

267. - Should be intimate, you know. - Nice. Great.

268. Success, everybody, found them.

269. - Hi. - This is David and Benji.

270. - Hey. Hi. - Hey.

271. - Hi. - Hi.

272. - Welcome. - Sit down. Take a seat,

273. - please. Yeah. - Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot. Yeah.

274. So, I won't ramble on for too long,

275. but a word about myself.

276. Hopefully, you won't be too sick of me

277. by the end of the week.

278. Er, so, my name is James, as you know.

279. I will be your British tour guide through Poland.

280. I was a scholar of Eastern European studies at Oxford.

281. I'm not myself Jewish,

282. but I'm completely obsessed

283. with this whole part of the world,

284. and in particular the Jewish experience,

285. which I find to be

286. fascinating and complex and, at times, tragic,

287. but ultimately beautiful.

288. So, anyway, enough from me. Shut up, James.

289. Who wants to go next?

290. Okay, I'll be brave. Ha!

291. Um, hi. I'm Marcia Kramer.

292. I'm originally from Brooklyn,

293. um, with two regrettable decades in Los Angeles,

294. and I've just moved back to New York

295. after a divorce.

296. Sorry, if I'm oversharing,

297. but I found that I was turning into the kind of

298. woman I detested.

299. Just like a lady who lunches basically, you know?

300. Oof.

301. My mother survived the camps and, uh,

302. she never talked about it. Ever.

303. So, I'm here to honor her.

304. Okay, that's me. You go.

305. Who's next?

306. Well, hi. Diane and Mark Binder.

307. Hello.

308. Uh, we're boring.

309. Recently retired from Shaker Heights.

310. Mark's family was from here, down in Lublin.

311. Um, but they left way before the war.

312. Turn of the century.

313. We were Mayflower Jews.

314. Was always my little joke.

315. - Yeah. Funny. - Um, hi.

316. I'm Eloge. Um...

317. As you might have guessed, I was not born Jewish.

318. Um, I guess you won't be the only one on this trip, James.

319. Happy for the company, Eloge.

320. Happy for the company.

321. But, um, I did convert to Judaism, around 10 years ago.

322. I'm actually African-born, um, Rwandan.

323. And to answer the question

324. maybe you are thinking of asking,

325. I... I am a survivor of the genocide.

326. Oh, snap.

327. Sorry. No, I just meant...

328. No, that's like... I meant that in a good way. Like...

329. I don't know if you're familiar with "snap."

330. It's like, "Oh, shit."Oh, wow."

331. "Holy..." You know...

332. I'm just interested in people from other places.

333. It's like... I'm a fan, basically. Keep going, dude.

334. - I'm sorry about that. - No. No, no, no.

335. I'm very happy when people are interested in my country.

336. - Oh. - Sweet.

337. - What's your name? - Benji.

338. - Benji, I'm an open book. - Oh, rad.

339. Um, so my mother and I survived the genocide.

340. And, um, I moved to Winnipeg with her life savings

341. sewn into the inside of my jacket...

342. - Jesus. Fuck. - And, um, in Winnipeg,

343. I found a connection there with a Jewish community.

344. Yeah, well, naturally.

345. Yes, naturally, Benji.

346. And, um, when I learned about the Jewish story, I...

347. I felt at peace for the first time since the war.

348. And the more I learn, and the more people I meet...

349. wonderful people such as yourselves,

350. the more I know I made the right decision.

351. Wow.

352. Well, I didn't expect to be crying

353. before the tour started.

354. - Wow. That's extraordinary. - Wow.

355. Thank you so much for that, Eloge.

356. - Yeah. - Thank you.

357. That was beautiful.

358. Well, who the hell wants to follow that?

359. Yeah.

360. Okay, shit. I guess I'll go.

361. So, um, Davers and I are cousins. We've...

362. Actually, we were born three weeks apart,

363. - which is kinda nuts. - Yes.

364. A zloty for anyone who can guess

365. which one of us is older.

366. Me!

367. Our dads are brothers.

368. Uh, we're basically brothers, too, wouldn't you say, Dave?

369. We used to be joined at the hip.

370. Like feckin' Katie and Eilish.

371. - Remember them? - Yeah. Don't say that.

372. But, um, our grandma, Dory...

373. Grandma Dory, she was from here. Um...

374. And we've always wanted to

375. see where she came from

376. and... and see the house that she grew up in.

377. Yeah, that's actually why we're leaving the tour

378. - a day early. - Yeah. 'Course, yeah.

379. Benji insisted on seeing her little town.

380. - We have to. - They were super close.

381. Yeah. I mean, she was the fucking coolest, right?

382. Well, now I've just been, like,

383. in a real funk, I guess, since she died.

384. Just haven't, um...

385. Yeah. Sorry. She was just my favorite person

386. in the world. Uh...

387. You know, it's... it's good to remember.

388. That's why we're here, in a way. So...

389. Thank you, James. Thanks for saying that.

390. Um... So... Yeah, it's okay.

391. Just to, like, just keep things on track, though.

392. - Yeah. - Like... Sorry. When she died,

393. she left some money in her will

394. for me and Benji to come here, so...

395. Yeah, and Dave is always, like, super busy.

396. He never has time.

397. He's got this, like, high-pressure job

398. selling fucking ad banners to the Internet.

399. Yo, come on, man.

400. But he knew I was in a real shit place recently, so he...

401. swooped in and dropped everything

402. and arranged for us to join this...

403. - Mm-hmm. - ... geriatric Polish tour

404. with you fine people.

405. Hey.

406. Okay, if everyone could gather over here

407. just for a moment, please? No rush.

408. I always like to start my tours here

409. at the Ghetto Uprising Memorial.

410. And that's because this is a monument

411. that celebrates the Jewish heroes

412. who fought back against the Nazis.

413. In a couple of days,

414. I will be taking us to a concentration camp,

415. so I think it's important to immediately dispel the myth

416. that these were a people who were led

417. like lambs to the slaughter.

418. Now, it may seem obvious, but a word of warnin',

419. this will be a tour about pain.

420. Of course, it will.

421. Pain and suffering and loss,

422. there's no getting around that,

423. but I think it's important that it's also a tour

424. that celebrates a people.

425. A most resilient people.

426. All right.

427. So, that's that one then.

428. This city has an incredibly unfortunate history.

429. It's often called the Phoenix City

430. because it's risen from the ashes so many times.

431. Functionality of this Soviet-style architecture,

432. you know, can be polarizing.

433. It's not to everyone's...

434. And again, you'll notice that austere style

435. which sprung up in the wake of World War II.

436. Look at this shit.

437. We'd probably live here if the war didn't happen.

438. Isn't that fucking crazy to think about?

439. Seriously, like,

440. we think of ourselves as these, like,

441. very American creations, you know?

442. And I guess that we are.

443. I guess, that's, like, the essence of America,

444. people created from other cultures.

445. But, like, in some parallel, black hole universe,

446. you and I are Polish and we probably got, like,

447. long beards and we can't shake hands with women.

448. Yeah, that's funny. You know, every time I see,

449. like, one of those Hasidic guys on the street,

450. I always just think, like,

451. "There but for the grace of no God go I."

452. - You know? - What?

453. Oh, nothing. It's just, like, a dumb joke that...

454. - Mm. Well, that's cool, man. - Yeah.

455. - Shit, look at her. - Who?

456. That woman, Marcia.

457. She's walkin' alone. We should go talk to her.

458. We just met her.

459. Yeah, but she's got this, like,

460. deep sadness behind her eyes, you know?

461. She does?

462. Yeah. You didn't notice that?

463. During the introductions? No. I...

464. I think we should check on her.

465. Benji, maybe she wants to be alone.

466. No one wants to be alone, Dave.

467. Okay, I'm gonna go check it out.

468. Hey. Why are you walking alone?

469. Are you a big fucking loser?

470. - Seriously? - Yeah.

471. You look like an interesting person.

472. - Sorry. - Okay.

473. This is one of the most well-preserved sections

474. of the Warsaw Ghetto and was part of the wall

475. from November 1940 to November 1942.

476. And, as we traverse the city,

477. you'll actually notice the fact that...

478. Gracias.

479. Here you go. Water. Diane. Mark. There we go.

480. Gotta drink. It's important. James, Eloge.

481. Marcia, hydrate.

482. Okay. Ready to go?

483. What we waitin' on?

484. New Delhi has no delis in it. Where are the knishes?

485. Oh, it was the airport, but it wasn't new, it was old.

486. Yo!

487. Hey.

488. Come on in.

489. - Thanks. - Thanks?

490. Yeah. No, I mean, I saved this.

491. I don't know if you were gonna...

492. - yeah, sit over there. - No, man.

493. So, what was going on with that woman?

494. What do you mean?

495. The woman with, like, the "sadness in her eyes."

496. - Mm, Marcia. - Yeah. Is she all right?

497. She's in a really weird place right now.

498. - Really? - Mm-hmm.

499. - She told you that? - Yeah.

500. I guess she thinks that I can relate

501. since we've both lost people.

502. Yeah. You mean our grandma?

503. Yeah. She's just, like,

504. super fucking stressed right now

505. because her husband left her last May,

506. like, totally out of the blue.

507. - Jesus. - Mm.

508. She's seeing this new guy, Darren,

509. which you'd think she'd be happy about,

510. but he sounds like a total fucking douchebag.

511. Really? How?

512. Mm. I don't know, man. I don't think

513. we should be talking about her behind her back.

514. Okay. I mean, I was just...

515. - I was just asking. - I know. But... still.

516. Weird soup, right?

517. I fucking love it.

518. When it comes to the Warsaw Uprising,

519. I think the most bizarre and harrowing aspect

520. is not the German crushing of the rebellion,

521. but the part that the Russians played in it.

522. You see, the Russians and the Poles

523. were supposedly allies.

524. Brothers in arms fighting against a common enemy.

525. I'm sure you'd like to take some photographs.

526. Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions.

527. Always happy to fill you in...

528. - You like that guy? - Yeah.

529. Hey, um, Eloge, when you're done...

530. sorry, could you get a picture of me and Dave

531. - posing with the guys? - Yeah, of course.

532. - Thank you, man. - Sorry, what?

533. Uh, we should pose with the guys. It'll be hysterical.

534. Uh, doesn't that seem, like, disrespectful or...

535. Fuck is that disrespectful? We're on their side.

536. Fightin' the fucking Russkies and the Krauts. Come on.

537. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I don't...

538. Uh, I don't really know if we should.

539. Can you just get a picture of me, then,

540. fighting with my Polish brethren?

541. Uh, yeah.

542. Gentlemen, I'm goin' in.

543. No, that's the leaves.

544. Sorry, I'm late. Got a war to win,

545. or to lose, probably.

546. That's really... You look great, Benji.

547. - Got some good shots. - Does it look real?

548. Well, uh, they're twice the size of you and metal.

549. So, you know, no.

550. I need some help. You wanna come up here?

551. No, I'm good. I'm good. Really.

552. Eloge! You gonna enlist?

553. I'm not a fighter, Benji. Thank you.

554. Okay, well, then, you can be a medic or something.

555. These people need help.

556. - This is so silly. - I know.

557. Come on. Your mom will love the pictures.

558. Can you take my picture for me, please?

559. Come on. Hey, Marcia.

560. - Just one. - Yeah. Yeah, sure.

561. Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.

562. So, you're the medic, you gotta patch up this guy's leg.

563. - Okay. - He's in a lot of pain.

564. - Okay. Uh... - He really needs you.

565. Need to reassure him as well. Talk to him.

566. Don't worry, I'm... I'm here to help.

567. Oh, you're taking such good care.

568. We got a young Florrie Nightingale over here.

569. Dave, you gettin' all this?

570. - Yeah, I got it. - Is it funny?

571. Um, yeah, it's funny. Yeah.

572. You sure you don't wanna come up here?

573. We could use the manpower.

574. No, that's okay. I'll just, um...

575. You know, I'll watch from central command.

576. Central...

577. Central command. That's a good one, Dave.

578. Can I join up?

579. General Marcus.

580. We're honored to have you, sir.

581. - At ease. - Marcia.

582. - Okay. Thank you. - Get on up here!

583. Marcia, I need more supplies.

584. Yeah. Wanna be a medic too?

585. No, I don't wanna be a medic.

586. Don't I have a gun or something?

587. Fuckin' A. Look at you.

588. Oh, God. I can't believe I'm doing this. Thank you, David.

589. No, sure. No problem.

590. Are you sure you don't wanna go up there?

591. No, it's fine. I got some good shots earlier

592. when it was, like, empty.

593. Jimothy! Sir, we need a gunner from the RAF, old chap.

594. I'm coming!

595. Gonna be dropped out of the plane.

596. Or are you the actual plane?

597. I guess I am the plane.

598. Then you're a plane.

599. Okay, Dave, you ready?

600. Everybody, pick a pose and freeze.

601. You gettin' this, Dave? My arm's gettin' pretty tired.

602. Yeah. It's my last phone. One second.

603. Okay. Okay, I got it.

604. Okay, stand down, men.

605. We were all very brave. Unfortunately, we all...

606. A whole elaborate story unfolding there.

607. My knees.

608. Thank you so much, man. That was a lot of fun. Thanks.

609. No problem. No, it was, like...

610. - That was fun. - It was so much fun.

611. You are? Okay.

612. Well, let me know if you need any help with

613. - any recommendations... - Nice.

614. All right, well done, everyone.

615. It's fantastic.

616. This is us. Good night, you freaks.

617. - Night. - Night.

618. Long day tomorrow.

619. - Hey, Dave? - Yep.

620. Come meet me in the bathroom for a second.

621. What? Why?

622. - Hi. - Hey.

623. So, um, why are we in here?

624. So, I just wanted to say

625. thank you so much for being here with me.

626. I know that it's tough for you to take time off work

627. and to leave your boy...

628. but I really needed this, man.

629. - Really? - Yeah.

630. Well, that's... that's great, man.

631. I'm, like, just happy to see you happy.

632. I know it's been, like, such a tough few months for you...

633. I also want to say that

634. I know you're not the most comfortable person

635. with groups and people and social shit like that.

636. - I'm not? - No.

637. But it's amazing that you're here,

638. putting yourself out there so boldly for me.

639. - Well, thank you, man. - Let's go smoke a joint.

640. Yep. Infantilizing, corporate bullshit.

641. What do you mean?

642. How the fuck are we supposed to smoke a joint in here?

643. They fuckin' locked the windows.

644. It's like a goddamn police state.

645. Yo, man. I think I might just wanna crash.

646. We've been up for, like, 24 hours.

647. Don't. Don't tell me you're gonna sleep on me.

648. This is our first night together in fuckin' years.

649. I don't know. I'm exhausted. I haven't showered.

650. You're exhausted? Dude, the weed's gonna help you sleep.

651. Is it the kind that helps you sleep?

652. - No, it's the other kind. - Come on.

653. - Dude. - What?

654. Take a shower, brush your fuckin' face.

655. Like, floss your butt.

656. Do whatever it is you gotta do to feel like you.

657. - Yeah. - I'm gonna roll us

658. a fat fuckin' joint,

659. and we'll go to the roof. Okay?

660. Okay. Where are ya?

661. I don't know. Maybe they don't make their roof accessible

662. for American assholes trying to smoke weed?

663. I think this might be it. Think this is it?

664. I think there's a big fucking alarm that's gonna go off.

665. So? If it goes off,

666. we just say we don't speak Polish.

667. Which happens to be true.

668. Huh. I think... I don't know, man.

669. I think we should probably just go back down.

670. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

671. Yeah. I... I don't feel right about this.

672. - Yeah, okay. - Okay.

673. Yeah, If you're not feeling good about it,

674. - let's not do it. - Sorry. I don't know.

675. That's lame, I guess.

676. No, that's okay. It's not lame. It's just...

677. Benji!

678. Hustle. We're almost there.

679. Yeah. There's my guy.

680. How you feeling, dude?

681. Um, I feel okay.

682. Feel okay.

683. - David. - Yeah?

684. How are you feeling, man?

685. - No, I feel good. - Yeah?

686. Yeah. I feel good.

687. You just needed a little drugs in your system. That's all.

688. - Really? - Yeah.

689. That's all I was missing, huh?

690. - That's all you were missin'. - There you go.

691. That's it.

692. You...

693. are like an awesome guy

694. stuck inside the body of somebody

695. who's always running late.

696. I gotta fish that fuckin' guy out of you

697. every time I see you.

698. Thank you, I think.

699. You know, dude, when I think about the two of us, man...

700. Yeah?

701. I think of us walking around New York all night,

702. trying to stay up until morning.

703. - Mm. You always did. - Mm-hmm.

704. - Yeah. - And you always passed out

705. - halfway through. - Mm.

706. We'd make it over the Williamsburg Bridge

707. and you would conk out on a bench in Chinatown.

708. Yeah, I know.

709. You're kind of a lightweight.

710. Dave?

711. Yo.

712. Sorry I called you a lightweight.

713. That's okay.

714. I'm sorry I would always fall asleep.

715. Nah, man.

716. You had, like, a job and a wife.

717. You'd been awake all day

718. doing important shit.

719. I didn't really have anything going on.

720. I didn't care that you fell asleep, man.

721. I was just glad you were there.

722. What did he say?

723. Just absolutely despising.

724. - Really? - Yeah.

725. That was a bit of a disaster if you ask me, but...

726. That's really funny.

727. Benji.

728. - Mm. Mm-hmm. - We gotta go.

729. - The train's in an hour, okay? - Mm.

730. Sorry we're a little late.

731. Yeah, Dave woke me up literally two minutes ago.

732. All right.

733. Train's arriving in two minutes. Come on.

734. I really appreciate it.

735. You're okay?

736. I know it's kind of heavy. Sorry.

737. Right. Come on, everyone.

738. Gotta get right to the end of the platform.

739. Okay, everyone, so, part of our tour package

740. included these first-class tickets.

741. Whoo.

742. Nice little perk for us all. Keep coming.

743. We gotta get right to the end, everyone.

744. I like a first-class ticket.

745. Love the exchange rate.

746. Excuse me.

747. Now, if you've got time,

748. we could swing by Underground Lublin.

749. Erm, it is fascinating.

750. I just think it's a bit overhyped, personally.

751. The big hitter is the Grodzka Gate, you know.

752. Oh. Is the gate still accessible?

753. Yo, dude, I think we should move.

754. What?

755. I think we should move to another train car.

756. What do you mean?

757. You don't feel weird being in a first-class car?

758. - Uh, no. We paid for it. - No?

759. It's not hurting anybody, no.

760. Dude, we are Jews on a train in Poland.

761. Fucking think about it.

762. - I am. I'm... - Benji?

763. - Benji. - Yeah?

764. You all right up there?

765. - Yeah. Sure. - Yeah.

766. - Sorry. - Yeah, no. No worries.

767. I mean, you know, it's, to be fair, fascinating...

768. No, I mean, I just feel like... Sorry.

769. - Okay. - I just... Does any...

770. Is anyone else, like, feeling this right now?

771. Feeling what?

772. Like this creepy feeling that, like, you know,

773. we're, like, royalty on this train?

774. I mean, does no one else see the irony here?

775. - Jesus. Benji, come on, man. - Like eating fancy food

776. and sitting up here, when 80 years ago,

777. we would've been herded into the backs

778. of these fucking things like cattle.

779. - God. - Okay, Benji,

780. I don't think anybody here wants to hear that right now.

781. Okay, why not? Why doesn't anyone want to hear it?

782. - Because it's depressing, man. - Depressing?

783. Okay, look. That's okay.

784. You're raising an interesting sensitivity here.

785. It does sometimes come up on these tours.

786. You're staying in fancy hotels,

787. eating posh food, and at the same time,

788. you're looking back

789. at the horrors of your family history.

790. It can conjure up confusing feelings

791. of discomfort and discordance

792. and dare I say, even a kinda guilt, you know.

793. You're comparing your own life...

794. I don't feel guilt.

795. - No. Nor should you, Mark. - Why would I feel guilt?

796. No, I'm not saying that you have to feel guilt.

797. Well, because our lives

798. are so fucking pampered and privileged.

799. Like, we completely cut ourselves off

800. from anyone else's true pain.

801. Like the actual fuckin' experience

802. of being shoved in a train car,

803. - your fuckin' head bashed in. - Jesus, Benji.

804. So what are we supposed to do about that?

805. - Mark. Mark, Mark, please. - Fuckin' acknowledge it, man.

806. Like, try to feel it in some way.

807. Why are you doing this?

808. Dude, I'm just fuckin' saying how I feel.

809. Okay. Why is that, like, important now?

810. Oh, man, you used to, like, feel everything, man.

811. He was such an anxious, adorable fucking kid, man.

812. - Jesus, Benji. - We went to Jewy

813. - sleep-away camp together. - Come on, man.

814. He cried the whole first week.

815. The whole fucking first week 'cause he was homesick.

816. - Jesus. - I used to have to hug him

817. to sleep and talk about his sweet fuckin' mom

818. to calm him down and shit. Now look at him.

819. Jesus Christ, man. What the fuck?

820. He's like all put together and comfortable and shit.

821. Topiaries his wild-ass Jew fro into submission.

822. It's mad impressive. You're all mad impressive.

823. But you know what?

824. I'm gonna go to the back of the train now, okay?

825. I don't think you'll find much suffering back there either.

826. Stop it. Please.

827. Excuse me. I'm sorry.

828. Okay, I hope that wasn't too uncomfortable for everyone.

829. Obviously, there are

830. triggers along the way with this tour.

831. I must say the train is not normally one of them, but...

832. Um...

833. James, I should probably head back there.

834. I don't know. I should at least, like,

835. bring him his food or something.

836. Of course. Yeah. You know where we're gettin' off?

837. Uh, yeah, it's, like, Lublin Główny?

838. I'm sure I'm mispronouncing it.

839. No. It's very close.

840. - Yeah, it's... All right. - Okay, thanks. Sorry.

841. - Good luck. - Sorry, everybody.

842. Okay. Erm...

843. - Hey, man. - Hey.

844. Thanks.

845. Are you okay?

846. Everyone just wants to have a fucking joyride, you know?

847. No. What do you mean?

848. People can't walk around the world being...

849. happy all the time.

850. It's okay, man.

851. Przypominamy o zabraniu bagaży.

852. Prosimy o zachowanie szczególnej ostrożności

853. przy wysiadaniu z pociągu.

854. Dziękujemy za wspólną podróż

855. i zapraszamy do korzystania z usług Polonia Ekspres.

856. - Hey, man. - Hey.

857. Did I fall asleep?

858. - Yeah, you did. - Oh, shit.

859. Oh, shit! We gotta go.

860. We gotta go. Come on.

861. All right, I guess everybody's waiting in front for us.

862. Mm-hmm. Maybe.

863. - Uh, hey, duder? - Yeah?

864. Yeah, we're not at the right station, dude.

865. Sorry, what?

866. Yeah.

867. Oh, shit. What the fuck is Kraśnik?

868. Yeah, Kraśnik.

869. We were supposed to get off at Lublin.

870. No, I know. Yeah. You were out pretty fucking cold, dude.

871. Sorry. You mean we... we passed Lublin already?

872. Like, a while ago.

873. And you didn't wake me up?

874. Oh, you were having such a good nap, dude.

875. Jesus Christ! We're on a tour group with people.

876. You were, like... I'm sorry. Yeah, I know.

877. I just didn't have the heart to wake you up, man.

878. You have, like, the most fucked-up sense of priorities.

879. Do you know that? Do you know that?

880. Dude, don't get mad at me. Okay?

881. How could I not get mad at you?

882. Because I was, like, staring at you

883. - while you were sleeping... - Yeah.

884. and people were lookin' at you.

885. And some people were fucking laughing at you

886. 'cause you were snoring all weird and loud and shit.

887. But I was thinkin', like, "Fuck that."

888. This is my cousin Davey. I'm not ashamed of him.

889. This is Davey on the bench in Chinatown.

890. This is the guy I used to have all to myself.

891. I just couldn't wake you, man.

892. All right. All right, so...

893. - so what do we do now? - Oh, yeah. Got that shit

894. - worked out, dude. - Did you?

895. Yeah, while you were sleepin'.

896. - Okay. - So we just get on a train

897. going in the opposite direction.

898. - Yeah, okay. - And we don't even have to pay

899. for tickets. We just avoid the conductor until we get there.

900. I do this kinda shit all the time Upstate.

901. It's fucking foolproof. This might be us, dude.

902. - Really? - Run! Run, run, run.

903. Great.

904. Yo, we should just buy tickets like normal people.

905. There's no time. Come on.

906. Shit.

907. Dude.

908. We stay moving, we stay light,

909. - we stay agile. - Yeah.

910. The conductor's gonna come through taking tickets.

911. We tell him we're going to the bathroom.

912. - The bathroom? Okay. - He gets to the back

913. of the train, he's gonna start heading

914. towards the front looking for stragglers.

915. - Sorry. We're the stragglers? - Yeah.

916. By the time he gets to the front,

917. the train's gonna be in the station and we're home free.

918. This is so fucking stupid.

919. Man, what's stupid is the corporatization of travel.

920. Ensuring that the rich move around the world,

921. propagate their elitist loins,

922. while the poor stay cut off from society.

923. That's great. We can argue Marxism

924. while they're hauling us off to Siberia.

925. Siberia is in Russia, Dave.

926. This is ridiculous.

927. Tickets are probably, like, 12 bucks.

928. It's the principle of paying.

929. We shouldn't have to pay for train tickets in Poland.

930. - This is our country. - No, it's not.

931. It was our country. They kicked us out

932. 'cause they thought we were cheap.

933. Okay, this is it. Stay calm. Act natural.

934. Yeah.

935. Hi. Just bathroom.

936. Me and cousin go to just bathroom.

937. - Bathrooms on either side. - With thanks.

938. - Sorry. - Thank you.

939. And... And we have our tickets. We just...

940. Oh, sh...

941. Jesus Christ. My heart is in my fucking throat.

942. - Feels good, doesn't it? - Yeah.

943. We're not out of the woods yet, though.

944. We gotta get to the front and take shelter

945. until we get to our stop. Okay?

946. - Okay. - Ready?

947. - Yeah. - Let's go.

948. - Here, here. - What? Yeah.

949. We made it.

950. Don't fall asleep on me again, brother.

951. I won't.

952. Hey, Benji.

953. Yeah?

954. We're in first class.

955. Yeah, but we fucking earned it.

956. Warszawa Wschodnia odjedzie

957. z peronu trzeciego.

958. All right. Should we stop and get some lunch?

959. - No. - Okay.

960. - Hi. Sorry. - Hey, everybody.

961. Sorry we're late. Dave fell asleep.

962. Yeah. What?

963. - Hi, there. - We got your bags.

964. Oh, that's so nice of you. I'm so sorry.

965. Yeah, he just... He needed to sleepy sleep.

966. Sorry about that. Yeah. Here's your bag.

967. You need some help. He got sleepy.

968. Yeah, let's drop our bags off at the hotel.

969. - Yeah. Of course. - Yeah, yeah. All good.

970. I'm really sorry. Oh, here.

971. Yeah. It was actually really quick

972. once we were able to get on the other...

973. and importance of the Jewish contribution.

974. Lublin has such a rich Jewish history.

975. It was actually known, for a time, as the Jewish Oxford.

976. It was diverse, both culturally and intellectually.

977. This is the Lublin of Rebbe Horowitz,

978. of the Seer of Lublin,

979. of Isaac Bashevis Singer, merchants, writers, poets.

980. So, you're, like, really religious? Yeah?

981. - Yes. Yes, you could say that. - Huh.

982. It's amazing to me.

983. - Is it? - Yeah. Yeah.

984. So, you, like, do all the customs and everything?

985. No, no, not all. No.

986. But I do like to keep Shabbat.

987. Mm-hmm.

988. No matter what's going on with my life,

989. once a week, I get to

990. slow down and take my rest seriously.

991. Huh.

992. And you?

993. No. Me? No, no.

994. I mean, the whole thing always seemed like a little,

995. I don't know, arbitrary and mechanical

996. and archaic to me.

997. I mean, no offense, obviously.

998. I think it would really benefit you.

999. You mean, like, benefit everybody

1000. or, like, me specifically?

1001. You specifically.

1002. Benji.

1003. - Yo. - Yo!

1004. I was thinking about what you said

1005. on the train about understanding suffering.

1006. - Mm-hmm. - It really stirred me.

1007. Yo, seriously, Marcia?

1008. - Yeah. - Dope.

1009. Last year, my daughter married a very rich man.

1010. Oh, fuck.

1011. And she's incapable of having a conversation

1012. with any depth anymore.

1013. Well, yeah, of course.

1014. Money is like fucking heroin for boring people.

1015. Well, I don't know what that means,

1016. but it's just so easy to float through life

1017. forgetting how lucky we are.

1018. Guys, uh, I'm eavesdropping.

1019. - Is that okay? - 'Course, Eloge, come on in.

1020. I want to echo what Marcia was saying, if that's all right?

1021. - Really? Really? - Of course.

1022. I... I find myself constantly baffled

1023. by the way the world seems to carry on

1024. like there aren't a million reasons to be shocked.

1025. - Oh. Exactly. - To be, um... appalled.

1026. Yeah. Fuckin' A. That's exactly what I'm saying, man.

1027. I don't know. I mean, if, like, we wept

1028. for every sad thing in the world,

1029. like, what would that accomplish?

1030. I don't know. Maybe sad shit wouldn't constantly happen.

1031. Exactly.

1032. David, we numb ourselves

1033. to avoid thinking about our impact.

1034. Ignoring the proverbial slaughterhouse

1035. to enjoy the steak, as it were.

1036. Yes, Eloge. Damn, that's a good analogy.

1037. No. And I get that. I get all that.

1038. It just seems like maybe there's, like,

1039. a time and a place to grieve, and maybe it's not...

1040. - Yo, Dave. - What?

1041. We're on a fucking Holocaust tour.

1042. If now is not the time and place to grieve, to open up,

1043. I don't know what to tell you, man.

1044. Come on, then, you lot. Stragglers.

1045. So, here we are

1046. at the famous Grodzka Gate

1047. or, as it was once called, the Jewish Gate.

1048. On the other side of this threshold

1049. was the Jewish Quarter, okay?

1050. Now, as we pass through,

1051. I want you to try to imagine

1052. what life was like hundreds of years ago.

1053. Try to avoid conjuring images of the horrors to come

1054. and just picture a vibrant city.

1055. The memories of Jewish life are here.

1056. But they're hidden around the city.

1057. And the oldest surviving synagogue

1058. is on the second floor of an office building.

1059. But there are little pieces of history frozen.

1060. Peeking out, waiting for us.

1061. A former Yiddish theater.

1062. A yeshiva.

1063. A Jewish-owned brewery.

1064. The Tarbut Hebrew School.

1065. The Community Council of Lublin.

1066. A tailor.

1067. A dry goods store.

1068. A bakery.

1069. A bookseller.

1070. A textile shop.

1071. So, there's some discrepancy

1072. about the founding of the cemetery,

1073. but most people have it pegged at 1541.

1074. - Oh, wow. No. - Can you imagine?

1075. That's before the founding of the United States.

1076. That's before, I don't know, Shakespeare.

1077. And the oldest headstone in the whole of Poland

1078. is actually located right here

1079. - in the cemetery. - Oh, yes. Kopelman.

1080. Yes, Eloge. How'd you know that?

1081. I read about it this morning. Don't be too impressed.

1082. What?

1083. Ding, ding. Right again, Eloge.

1084. What's your problem now?

1085. Jacob Kopelman Levi. 1541.

1086. - Who cares? - It's quite

1087. unassuming, isn't it, if you don't know

1088. - what you're looking at? - Benji, what the fuck?

1089. - It's just... - It's hard to know

1090. whether the Jewish community was drawn to Lublin

1091. because of these local virtues...

1092. Benji? Benji?

1093. - Um, yo, James? - Oh, shit. Benji?

1094. - Hey, James. Hey, man. - Benji, Benji, Benji.

1095. - You all right, Benji? - Hey, look, man,

1096. you're, like, completely knowledgeable about this shit.

1097. And it's fuckin'... It's... It's impressive, man.

1098. And we all know that now and everything. But, like...

1099. Like, these are real people, James, you know?

1100. They're not your little factoids lying under here,

1101. okay? They're not history lessons.

1102. - Benji, Benji, okay. - Just... Hey,

1103. maybe, like, take a seat.

1104. Text your wife. Have a sit for a second.

1105. Sorry if I said something to upset you or...

1106. No. No, no, no. Look, look.

1107. You know your shit. Don't get me wrong.

1108. And, Eloge, you, like, totally know your shit,

1109. but I think it's just the constant barrage of stats.

1110. It's making this whole thing feel very

1111. cold, you know?

1112. Okay. Er...

1113. I'm sorry. M-Maybe it's just my British tone or something.

1114. - I'm just trying to be honest. - Okay.

1115. If it helps to have feedback, that's what I'm doing.

1116. - Okay. - And I just think

1117. a major problem with your tour...

1118. - Oh, my God. - If I can just...

1119. This is okay? This is a free space?

1120. Okay.

1121. I just think we've been, like, completely cut off

1122. from anything that's, like, fucking...

1123. like, real, you know?

1124. It's all real, Benji.

1125. - Is it? - I've only said real things.

1126. It's real? Then how come I haven't met anyone

1127. - that's actually Polish? - I've only said real things.

1128. I haven't had any interaction

1129. with somebody who's, like, from here.

1130. - You know what I mean? - Benji, come on.

1131. We've just been going from one touristy thing

1132. to another touristy thing to...

1133. - you know? - Yeah, no, but that sort of

1134. is what a tour is, though, isn't it?

1135. Going from one touristy thing to another.

1136. That's kind of what you signed up for, isn't it?

1137. Well, Dave signed up for the tour.

1138. All right. Yeah, no. I mean, I'm sorry.

1139. - Mm-hmm. - Look, man. And you know what?

1140. Honestly, it's like a mostly amazing tour.

1141. - Mm-hmm. - I mean it, man.

1142. Like, I'm fuckin'... I'm lovin' it.

1143. It's totally Dave's speed.

1144. But just, like, chill

1145. on the facts and figures for just a little bit.

1146. I mean, would that be cool?

1147. No. Yeah, 'course. Yeah.

1148. - Let's tone it down. - Great.

1149. Cool, that's all. That's all I'm asking.

1150. Erm...

1151. Well, what I was gonna suggest was we could put a rock on...

1152. er, Kopelman's headstone.

1153. - Yeah. - Yeah?

1154. - Fuckin' love that idea. - No, I think

1155. - that's a good idea. - Thanks, man.

1156. So can I call them over?

1157. Do whatever you want, man. It's your tour, James.

1158. Okay, if everybody could just come over here for a moment?

1159. - Everybody? Marcia? - Everyone look for stones.

1160. - Here we go. Look, here's one. - Yeah.

1161. - Yeah, no problem. - Erm...

1162. - If I can just very quickly... - Yeah.

1163. This is the oldest tombstone in all of Poland.

1164. Erm, and it belongs to a man called Jacob Kopelman Levi,

1165. who was a real human person who lived,

1166. er, in the real world. He was Polish.

1167. Er, from Poland.

1168. And Benji and I were just discussing

1169. what might be nice to do,

1170. and we thought maybe we could all put a stone on his grave.

1171. Erm, various theories about this Jewish tradition.

1172. But personally, I like to think it's just

1173. a simple warm gesture to say, er,

1174. "You're not forgotten."

1175. That was beautiful, James. Thank you.

1176. Okay. Erm, so, let's do that, shall we? Everyone?

1177. Should we try and find some nice stones?

1178. - Yeah. Yes. - Yeah, that was great.

1179. - Good idea. - Yeah.

1180. I'll go look for a stone.

1181. - Great, great. - I think that was

1182. - a very lovely idea, Benji. - Oh, thanks, Marcia.

1183. - Thank you. - Yeah. It was nice.

1184. Yeah, we sorta cooked it up.

1185. - Let's find it. - Stone hunt.

1186. I'm gonna have the biggest stones.

1187. I want, like, a nice flat one, that's like...

1188. - Sorry. - Ooh, here we go.

1189. - It's fine. - Hey, Marcia.

1190. Yeah.

1191. Okay. We all good with our stones?

1192. I'd like this one, please.

1193. My dad was everyone's favorite,

1194. but my dad's brother was the real brains

1195. - of the family. - Yeah.

1196. He got rejected from medical school

1197. because of quotas, you know,

1198. - with Jewish doctors. - Oh, right.

1199. And he... I'm sorry.

1200. I'm just having a little trouble

1201. competing with Hava Nagila.

1202. I'm so sorry. Yeah.

1203. - Yeah. - We come here every tour

1204. and the food is wonderful,

1205. but the music can be a little bit kitschy, so...

1206. Anti-Semitic pricks.

1207. Well, I don't know about anti-Semitic,

1208. like, the owners are Jewish, but...

1209. Ugh. Sorry. Please continue, Marcia.

1210. Um, so my Uncle Sam couldn't go to medical school,

1211. so he became a pharmacist,

1212. and he ended up owning five... Five, yeah.

1213. Five pharmacies in and around the Chicago area.

1214. - Wow. - Like, he started

1215. what we now think of as, like, a modern-day drug store.

1216. - Yeah. - Yeah. Exactly.

1217. - That's extraordinary. - You know what I mean?

1218. Yeah, yeah. And now the song's over.

1219. Just as I'm done with my story, which is my usual...

1220. That just speaks of the whole immigrant experience,

1221. - don't you think? - Exactly.

1222. I can attest to that, absolutely.

1223. Mark's great uncle came off the boat from Poland,

1224. landed in Galveston for some fakakta reason.

1225. Jew in Texas.

1226. And he made money by taking the furniture

1227. the rich people threw out on the street,

1228. refurbishing it and reselling.

1229. - Really? - True story. Mm-hmm.

1230. Apparently, he ended up selling some of it

1231. back to the original owners.

1232. - No, he did not. Is that true? - Yes.

1233. - Of course, he did. - Great uncle.

1234. Brilliant. Yeah, that is brilliant.

1235. Rich people are fucking idiots.

1236. Uh, well, anyway, our grandmother.

1237. - Um, she was... - Grandma Dory.

1238. Yeah. Our Grandmother Dory,

1239. whose house we're seeing on Thursday,

1240. was also just this, you know, amazing woman.

1241. She was just like one of these, like,

1242. bygone realist types that you don't see anymore.

1243. You know, just like blunt and tough and...

1244. Um, I mean, to be honest,

1245. I was, like, scared shitless my whole childhood of her.

1246. I was never scared of her.

1247. That is true. That is true.

1248. No. She and Benji had some, like, special secret language.

1249. They always said exactly what was on their minds.

1250. Didn't you?

1251. - Had no choice. - Yeah.

1252. And a similar story, she survived the camps

1253. through, like, a thousand miracles,

1254. and she made her way to New York,

1255. and she wanted to design dresses.

1256. But she couldn't afford fashion school,

1257. so she got stuck working as a secretary.

1258. Yeah. And then she was like, "Fuck this."

1259. And she ended up taking over the whole company.

1260. - Wow. - Baller.

1261. Well, he's making it sound like

1262. she led a junta or something. No.

1263. No, she was just... No, she was super smart.

1264. It was a small commercial real estate company.

1265. It was not, you know...

1266. I used to speak to her every Thursday.

1267. - Aw. - Yeah.

1268. - Literally every Thursday. - That is so nice, Benji.

1269. If I hear from my kids once a month, it's a shock.

1270. Oh, Marcia. Fuck those guys.

1271. - Man, I wouldn't miss a week. - Mm-hmm.

1272. She was tough on me.

1273. She was the only one in the whole fuckin' family

1274. that would keep me honest.

1275. You know, everyone else just disappeared

1276. when I needed them most.

1277. Yeah. But, um, you know, Grandma never pitied herself.

1278. In fact, she always told me

1279. she was grateful for her struggle.

1280. Well, that's just it. What she endured,

1281. that gave her hope, right?

1282. Yes. In fact, she used to tell me that, like,

1283. you know, uh, first-generation immigrants

1284. work some, like, menial job.

1285. You know, they drive cabs, they deliver food.

1286. Second generation, they go to good schools

1287. and they become, like, you know,

1288. a doctor or lawyer or whatever.

1289. And the third generation

1290. lives in their mother's basement

1291. and smokes pot all day.

1292. I mean...

1293. She said that?

1294. I think she was, like, just speaking generally

1295. about, like, the immigrant experience.

1296. Because I lived in my mom's basement.

1297. She was just talking about immigrants.

1298. - Okay. Yeah. - That's all.

1299. I gotsta pee.

1300. Oh, yeah.

1301. When I go to the bathroom, I'll get that. Don't worry.

1302. Pee-pee time.

1303. I'm sorry about him.

1304. No, no.

1305. What a troubled young man.

1306. He wants to be good. You can see the spark.

1307. - You know what I mean? - Yeah. Absolutely, Eloge.

1308. Forgive me if I don't see this magical spark.

1309. Mark, stop it. He's tormented for whatever reason.

1310. - Okay. Okay. - He's funny

1311. and he's charming under all the mishegoss.

1312. I feel bad for him.

1313. - Has he always been like this? - Yeah.

1314. I mean, he's always been, like, up and down, you know?

1315. Like, he's sensitive and he, like,

1316. sees people so clearly, you know?

1317. But then you say the wrong thing

1318. and, like, something switches.

1319. Maybe it's not appropriate to talk about him.

1320. No. What's not appropriate?

1321. You obviously got something going on between you and...

1322. Well, he's clearly in pain.

1323. Yeah, but isn't everyone in pain in some way?

1324. I mean, look at what happened to our families.

1325. Look at where we came from.

1326. I mean, who isn't... You know, who isn't wrought?

1327. Well, you seem okay.

1328. I'm not, though. I'm not.

1329. I just, like, take a pill for my fucking OCD, you know,

1330. and I jog and I meditate,

1331. and I go to work in the morning.

1332. I, like, come home at the end of the day,

1333. and I, like, move forward, you know,

1334. because I know that my pain is unexceptional,

1335. so I don't feel the need to, like,

1336. I don't know, burden everybody with it, you know?

1337. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

1338. Yeah. God, I'm sorry.

1339. No. It's all right, David.

1340. - It's okay. - I'm sorry. I'm ranting.

1341. I'm just, like...

1342. I don't know. Um...

1343. Ooh.

1344. Sorry. I'm just, like, so fucking exhausted

1345. by him sometimes, you know,

1346. like, I...

1347. I... I love him

1348. and I hate him

1349. and I want to kill him.

1350. And I want to be him, you know?

1351. And I feel, like,

1352. so stupid around him, you know,

1353. because he is so fucking cool,

1354. and he just does not give a shit.

1355. And then...

1356. just, like, being here with him

1357. is just so fucking baffling to me, you know?

1358. It's just baffling 'cause it's, like,

1359. how did this guy come from the survivors

1360. of this place, you know?

1361. I mean that your uncle had to sell, like,

1362. used furniture to rich assholes

1363. or, like, couldn't get into medical school.

1364. And that you survived, like,

1365. the worst thing to happen on this planet

1366. in the last 30 years.

1367. And that our grandma survived by a thousand miracles

1368. when the entire world was trying to kill her, you know?

1369. And I look at him

1370. and I just, like, wanna ask him...

1371. I just wanna ask him, and I just can't.

1372. Like...

1373. Like, how did the product of a thousand fucking miracles

1374. overdose on a bottle of sleeping pills?

1375. What?

1376. What did you say?

1377. Yeah, he tried to...

1378. Yeah. Sorry. I probably shouldn't have said anything.

1379. It's okay. Er, I'm sorry to hear that.

1380. I'm so sorry. That's... That's very distressing.

1381. When did this happen?

1382. Like, six... six months ago.

1383. My Aunt Leah, Benji's mom, found him on the couch.

1384. And I know he is so funny and so charming.

1385. And you are all gonna walk away

1386. with this picture of this amazing man,

1387. which he totally is in so many ways.

1388. But when I picture him,

1389. it is passed out on a ratty basement couch

1390. while I am in New York City

1391. with my beautiful wife and adorable child,

1392. and it just fucking kills me.

1393. Sorry. I'm... I'm oversharing.

1394. Well, they're back again.

1395. It's him.

1396. Did you know he plays the piano?

1397. We used to take lessons together.

1398. Excuse me.

1399. Aw, that's so nice, Benji.

1400. That was wonderful, Benji.

1401. Fuck.

1402. Hi. Um, sorry to bother you.

1403. Did you happen to see, like,

1404. my cousin come through or anything?

1405. He's, like, um...

1406. Have been forwarded to an automated

1407. voice messaging system.

1408. Boner.

1409. Is not available.

1410. The mailbox is full

1411. and cannot accept any messages at this time.

1412. Goodbye.

1413. Hello?

1414. Dude, where the fuck are ya?

1415. We're all downstairs waiting for you, man.

1416. Oh, shit.

1417. - Get your ass down here. - Fuck.

1418. Ah, there he is. Mornin', Dave.

1419. You sleep through your alarm or somethin'?

1420. No. My phone died because I didn't plug it in

1421. because I spent the night looking for you.

1422. Where the fuck were you?

1423. Oh. Sorry, dude. Yeah. You were fast asleep.

1424. Yeah? Well, you scared the shit out of me, Benji.

1425. Oh. Sorry, man.

1426. Yeah, I was just kicking it with Marcia.

1427. - Didn't wanna wake you. - Good morning, gang.

1428. - Dzien Dobry. - Mornin'.

1429. You're all down so early. I love that.

1430. - Morning. - Good morning.

1431. Well, the van should be here.

1432. It's gonna be an eerily short drive. Okay?

1433. Whatever.

1434. Yeah. I think I was feeling okay until...

1435. I don't like...

1436. Okay. So, if I could just get everyone's attention

1437. - just for a moment. - James.

1438. Erm, I don't wanna state the obvious,

1439. but today is gonna be quite a taxing day.

1440. If you've never been to a concentration camp before,

1441. it can be pretty overwhelming.

1442. We'll be there in, like, literally two minutes.

1443. Okay? Thanks, everyone.

1444. Everyone all right?

1445. So, the first thing you might notice

1446. is that Majdanek is literally just two miles

1447. from Lublin town square.

1448. Can you imagine life continuing on,

1449. a bustling town center

1450. just two miles from these grounds?

1451. Before the Red Army got to Majdanek,

1452. the Nazis had actually moved most of their prisoners

1453. to other camps out west.

1454. And, in their haste, the SS didn't destroy the evidence.

1455. So, unlike other camps,

1456. Majdanek is actually quite, erm,

1457. well-preserved, for lack of a better phrase.

1458. So, before we head in,

1459. I might be a little bit sparser

1460. with my information overload today.

1461. This is a sacred site

1462. where many thousands were murdered,

1463. and I think you'll find this place

1464. kinda speaks for itself.

1465. Okay?

1466. Hey.

1467. Hey.

1468. These are the barracks.

1469. This is the men's bathhouse.

1470. "He grabbed his whip

1471. "and herded us towards the bathhouse.

1472. "There, once our hair was cut and shaved

1473. "from our entire bodies,

1474. "we went into the next room."

1475. This is the gas chamber.

1476. The blue stains on the walls are residue

1477. from the deadly gas, Zyklon B.

1478. The ovens.

1479. Just hang here for a moment. Yeah?

1480. Okay. Oh.

1481. So, if we just gather here for just a moment.

1482. How are we all feeling?

1483. Mm... Not feeling so good.

1484. Numb, maybe?

1485. Yeah. That's about right.

1486. Eloge, how are you doing?

1487. I know you don't have the same advantage of

1488. distance, so to speak.

1489. Uh, I'm okay. I feel, um...

1490. shaken.

1491. But, uh, I guess that's better than feeling nothing.

1492. Yeah.

1493. Well, thank you all for sharing that

1494. with me and with each other.

1495. Don't wanna rush anyone, but obviously

1496. we're leaving for Zamość quite soon.

1497. So just to change gears,

1498. we're losing the lads.

1499. - Aw. - Very sad. Yep.

1500. The boys are staying here for another night, and then

1501. finishing their pilgrimage to see Grandma Dory's house.

1502. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. I'm...

1503. I'm gonna miss all you guys.

1504. Like a weird, fucked-up family.

1505. - Can I just, uh... - Yeah.

1506. - Thanks, David. - You are amazing.

1507. Thanks so much.

1508. Send me a photograph of your grandma's house.

1509. - I wanna see it, okay? - Yeah. I'll do that.

1510. - Okay. - Thank you.

1511. Have fun at Grandma's.

1512. - Take care of yourself, honey. - You too.

1513. And take care of him 'cause he won't.

1514. - Okay. - No, no, no, that's fine.

1515. - Take care of this guy. - Right.

1516. You're a good guy, Benji.

1517. No. You are.

1518. - Do you mean that? Really? - Yes, I do. Lech leh-shalom.

1519. - Thanks. Travel safe. - Go in peace, my friend.

1520. Oh, fuckin' A. That means a lot to me.

1521. I'm gonna look up what that means.

1522. Take care. So good to do this.

1523. So, Benji, erm, I just want to say,

1524. I've been doing this for five and a half years.

1525. And I always say,

1526. "Please, just let me know if I can do anything better."

1527. And you're the first person ever to give me

1528. actionable feedback, so...

1529. thank you so much for that, yeah.

1530. Get the fuck outta here. What did I say?

1531. What are you talking about?

1532. You know, the stuff about engaging with

1533. Polish people and the Polish culture and...

1534. Oh, man, that sounds great.

1535. You should fucking do that, man.

1536. I know. And I resisted it on the day,

1537. but I can't stop thinking about it.

1538. And you've really reawakened something in me, so...

1539. - Get the fuck outta here, man. - You're a very honest man,

1540. and that's rare.

1541. - And I appreciate it, so... - Yeah. Oh, shut up.

1542. - Come on. Like... - Thanks so much. Thank you.

1543. Okay.

1544. Sorry. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

1545. Thanks, David.

1546. He's a nice guy.

1547. - Did you? - Yeah. Well, no.

1548. I mean, that's absurd.

1549. - Yeah. Yeah. What? What? - Does this look good?

1550. What? Yeah. All right, let's go.

1551. - How much is this? - Trzydzieści złotych.

1552. You don't need to get the hat.

1553. Do you want one too?

1554. No. You look like the Ricola man.

1555. Do you want that? Uh, no, that's for you.

1556. You get to keep it.

1557. - Okay. Benji. - Yeah. I wouldn't know

1558. what to do with it.

1559. Can we get something to eat that's, like, not pickled?

1560. - Pierogies? - Anything that's not pierogies

1561. - and not pickled. - Sauerkraut?

1562. Sauerkraut is... it's pickled and German.

1563. to go and grab kids' heads in the audience and lick it.

1564. - God, that's so gross. - Yeah! The Bushwhacker!

1565. Yes. I remember that. Yeah.

1566. Hey, doggie.

1567. - Yo, can I have a swig? - Oh, yeah.

1568. Have as much as you want. We got the cheap shit.

1569. All right. Check out this building.

1570. Yeah.

1571. Pretty tall. I got one last joint.

1572. How are we gonna get up?

1573. Shall we?

1574. - Cześć. - Cześć.

1575. Blork.

1576. Jutro będzie padać.

1577. Mm. Mm-hmm.

1578. - All right. - Yeah. Not bad. Not bad.

1579. Shit. You know what I think that is?

1580. - Hmm. What? - Look way down there.

1581. You see those, like, three lights?

1582. - What? - One, two, three.

1583. - Oh, shit. - I think it's the camp.

1584. - Yeah. - Yeah.

1585. Really is so close.

1586. Yeah, so, what are you thinkin' of doing

1587. when you get back to Binghamton?

1588. What do you mean?

1589. I mean, like, what's... Like, what's your plan?

1590. Dude, give me that

1591. if you're just gonna fucking stare at it.

1592. - Oh, sorry. - It's my last one.

1593. - Sorry, man. - All right.

1594. Sorry about that.

1595. Yeah, well, when I get back, it's gonna be pretty busy.

1596. - Really? - Mm-hmm.

1597. - That's awesome. - Yeah.

1598. My buddy, Tim, is re-roofing his house,

1599. and I'm probably gonna help him out with that.

1600. He's got a shit ton of adobe.

1601. Has no idea what the fuck he's doing.

1602. - Really? - Yeah.

1603. - Gonna be good, though. - Yeah.

1604. Be pretty sweet when he's finished. You know?

1605. Keeps moisture out better

1606. than that plastic toxic shit they use

1607. on all those bullshit suburban houses, you know?

1608. Oh, yeah. That's awesome.

1609. Yeah. It's gonna be pretty rad.

1610. Well, that's, like, Tim's house.

1611. - So? - So...

1612. what are you gonna do?

1613. Oh, man. Why the fuck you asking me that?

1614. I wanna make sure you're good

1615. and that you have, like, a plan.

1616. Sorry. Maybe I'm a little stoned.

1617. - I'm sorry. - Yeah. No. Mm-mm.

1618. - Here, take this. - No. It's all right.

1619. - I can't be trusted. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.

1620. And, like, what are you gonna do when you go home?

1621. I don't know. Go back to, like,

1622. my job and my family, the usual.

1623. Great. I look forward to speaking to you in six months.

1624. What does that mean?

1625. - You know what it means, man. - Do I?

1626. I don't really wanna start anything.

1627. Okay, good. Then don't.

1628. You used to be fucking different, man.

1629. You used to be so emotional.

1630. You used to fucking cry about everything, man. Like...

1631. Yeah, I know. It was awful.

1632. Who the fuck wants to cry about everything?

1633. Dave, man, you're not fucking listenin' to me, man.

1634. I'm saying that we used to be different.

1635. - Like, "we." - Yeah. Benji, I have, like,

1636. - a job and a family. - Mm. I know.

1637. And I don't have time to hang out with you all night,

1638. - every night, okay? - I don't fucking want that.

1639. Yes, you do. You're, like, an all-encompassing person.

1640. I don't think you realize that.

1641. Man, I'm just saying, like, you, like...

1642. I don't think you realize that.

1643. Man, you, like, literally never visit me.

1644. What, in... Sorry, you mean in Binghamton?

1645. Yeah, man, that's where I live.

1646. Well, yeah, I'm busy, okay? And I live in New York City.

1647. Isn't it easier for you to come down to me?

1648. Easier? It's the same fucking distance, Dave.

1649. Yeah, but it's New York City, man.

1650. It's, like, the more logical place to visit

1651. than fucking Binghamton,

1652. - all due respect. - What's wrong with Binghamton?

1653. Nothing is wrong with Binghamton.

1654. You are, like, purposefully making me look like an asshole

1655. - for questioning it. - Mm. Yo, fuck off, dude.

1656. Yo, you fuck off.

1657. Why don't you give a shit about me anymore?

1658. I do give a shit about you.

1659. I just don't understand

1660. how you would ever do

1661. anything so fucking stupid to yourself.

1662. Dave, man.

1663. Benji.

1664. I, like... I walk around with, like,

1665. this terrible fucking image of you in my head,

1666. - okay? - Mm-hmm.

1667. And, yeah, I don't...

1668. Yeah, I don't wanna lose you, okay?

1669. Do you see how people love you?

1670. Do you see what happens when you walk into a room?

1671. I would give anything to know what that feels like... man.

1672. To know what it feels like to have charm.

1673. To light up a room when I walk in.

1674. But you light up a room and then you, like,

1675. shit on everything inside of it.

1676. All right. You can go.

1677. Thanks.

1678. Taxi's here.

1679. Let me see.

1680. See a 25 anywhere?

1681. No, I don't see any numbers anywhere. Wait.

1682. Me neither.

1683. Okay, wait. I think it should be around this way.

1684. "Mag-is-trate." What do you think that means?

1685. - Probably magistrate. - Oh.

1686. I think so.

1687. Is this like a real street or...

1688. Twenty-eight.

1689. I think it's this.

1690. - Here? - Yeah.

1691. Twenty-five.

1692. Oh, my God.

1693. Whoa. Is that possible?

1694. It's so... unremarkable.

1695. Yeah. I guess I don't know what I pictured.

1696. Yeah. Me neither.

1697. You know she slapped me once, right?

1698. What?

1699. Yeah. Grandma slapped me.

1700. - Shit. Really? - Yeah.

1701. I was late to meet her for dinner.

1702. - Just, like, 15 minutes. - Yeah.

1703. Also, I was pretty high.

1704. It was at that Hudson restaurant on Third Avenue.

1705. You know, in the purgatory of Murray Hill.

1706. Yes, I know it. Shit. Did it hurt?

1707. The fuck, yeah, it hurt.

1708. - Yeah. - Wow.

1709. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

1710. I was, like, elated for a full 24 hours after that.

1711. - Really? Why? - I don't know why.

1712. I mean, it was at this fucking restaurant

1713. she went to every week. Everyone knew her there.

1714. She dressed up all formal for it

1715. like it was some big fucking occasion, and...

1716. - Yeah. - I don't know.

1717. I guess the fact that she cared more about me

1718. than what the people at the restaurant thought?

1719. I don't know.

1720. Made me feel good.

1721. Hey.

1722. I got an idea.

1723. Hmm. What?

1724. Let's put a stone on the stoop.

1725. What do you mean?

1726. I mean, let's find a little stone

1727. and put it on the stoop to say that we were here.

1728. That she's not, you know, forgotten.

1729. - She's not buried here. - Yeah, I know.

1730. But this is the last place she was in Poland.

1731. It's the last place any of us were.

1732. - Yeah, let's do that. - Okay.

1733. - It's a good idea. - Okay.

1734. Yeah. Not this. No.

1735. No, no.

1736. - One, two. - Yeah?

1737. Yeah, I found two.

1738. - Do you want one? - Yeah.

1739. Thanks.

1740. Uh, yeah.

1741. Hej!

1742. - Zabierzcie te kamienie. - Oh.

1743. Co wy tam robicie? Przecież tam mieszkają ludzie.

1744. Hi. Sorry, we're Americans.

1745. English? Do you speak English?

1746. Mówię, że mieszkają ludzie i trzeba to zabrać.

1747. Sorry. I don't... know.

1748. - I guess that's it. - Yeah.

1749. I feel like such an asshole saying,

1750. "Americans, Americans."

1751. That's what we are.

1752. Do you think he's mad about this?

1753. Maybe he's offering us breakfast.

1754. - I don't fucking know. - You're right.

1755. He could be offering breakfast.

1756. It could just be that. "So come up here,

1757. "have some fucking cakes."

1758. "Have some delicious... black pudding."

1759. Oh, there's more.

1760. - Hello. - Niech sprzątną.

1761. Okay, uh,

1762. do you speak English?

1763. - Yes. Yeah. - A little.

1764. Well, hi. Sorry, what's the problem?

1765. Uh, my father said that you placed rocks,

1766. uh, on the door?

1767. Yeah, we did. Our grandma lived here,

1768. and she just died.

1769. Oh.

1770. Sorry for your loss.

1771. Oh. Thanks, man.

1772. So why did you put rocks in front of the door?

1773. It's like a tradition. It's like a Jewish tradition.

1774. Like, when you visit somebody's grave,

1775. you're supposed to put, like, a rock on it

1776. to show that you were, you know, there.

1777. Yeah, but she's not buried under the door, right?

1778. No, no, no. We just kind of

1779. did it as, like, a sentimental thing.

1780. Like, as a, you know, a gesture.

1781. Okay. Yeah.

1782. - Just a gesture. Yeah? - Yeah.

1783. Okay. Senti... Okay.

1784. I understand. So, this is sweet, I think.

1785. - Thank you. - Thanks.

1786. Wait a moment. Uh...

1787. Oni mówią, że to jest ich żydowska tradycja,

1788. żeby położyć kamień jakby na grobie.

1789. No ale tu nie ma grobu, ale ich babcia tu mieszkała.

1790. No dobrze... A teraz mieszka ta stara...

1791. Niech zabiorą.

1792. Okay, guys. Um...

1793. I'm sorry, but, um, I understand your situation.

1794. But my father said that it is, uh,

1795. a hazard to leave the stones.

1796. Okay.

1797. You know, an older woman lives there now,

1798. - so she could trip or... - Right.

1799. - Okay. - Understood.

1800. - So, we must, you know... - No, I got it.

1801. You got it. Sorry. Yeah.

1802. There you are.

1803. All right.

1804. Ladies and gentlemen,

1805. in about a half an hour,

1806. we will begin our descent to New York.

1807. We caught a lucky break there.

1808. We're gonna get you to your gate about 15 minutes ahead.

1809. Due to construction,

1810. the gate assignment may have changed.

1811. Please check your boarding pass

1812. for possible gate changes.

1813. We appreciate your patience and thank you.

1814. Hey, I was thinking,

1815. why don't we, like, grab a cab back to the city

1816. and you could come over for dinner?

1817. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

1818. I mean, I know Priya would love to see you,

1819. and Abe would, you know, love to tell you

1820. every fact about the Statue of Liberty.

1821. Uh...

1822. - It's tempting. - Yo, come on.

1823. Um...

1824. Nah, that's okay, man.

1825. - Really? - Yeah.

1826. All right. Well, at least, I don't know,

1827. let's grab a cab back to the city

1828. and I can drop you off at Penn Station

1829. for your train upstate.

1830. Um...

1831. You know what? I think I'm probably

1832. just gonna kick it here for a little while.

1833. At the airport?

1834. Yeah. Kinda like it here.

1835. You meet the craziest people, man.

1836. - Really? - Oh, yeah.

1837. - Shit. - What the flying fuck, man?

1838. - I'm so sorry. Fuck. - Why would you do that?

1839. Because Grandma, the restaurant. You said

1840. it was, like, the best thing that ever happened to you.

1841. Yeah, but that was different, man. I was 18.

1842. - I needed direction. - No, I know.

1843. That makes sense. I am so sorry.

1844. - This is just violence. - I know, I know.

1845. I thought it would, you know, enliven...

1846. - I don't know. - It's okay.

1847. Are you okay? Can I see? You're, like, red.

1848. Yeah. Because you fuckin' slapped me in the face.

1849. Sorry.

1850. - Do I get one now? - No.

1851. I'm sorry, man.

1852. Come here.

1853. I love you, guy.

1854. Love you too.

1855. I'm gonna be fine.

1856. You know that?

1857. - You sure? - Mm-hmm.

1858. Sorry.

1859. - You weren't done. - Mm-mm.

1860. All right.

1861. I'll see you around, cuz. Okay?

1862. I'll see you.

1863. Hello? Guys?

1864. - Hello? I'm... - Hi.

1865. - Hi, hi, hi. - You're back,

1866. - you're back, you're back. - Come here.

1867. Mwah! Oh, hi, babe.

1868. - Hey. - Hi, sweetness.

1869. Love you, love you, love you.