1. Cindy, hi!
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2. You want me? Him? Me? Him?
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3. Me? Him? Him? Me? Me? Him? Him? Me?
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4. Not you!
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5. You all right? You good? You okay? You good?
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6. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.
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7. Hey!
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8. Hey.
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9. Hey.
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10. Fine. Good. All right.
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11. How you doing?
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12. All right, hey. Oh!
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13. Good. All right. What's up?
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14. Yeah, I'm good. How you doing? Feel good. All right.
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15. Yes! Score! Score!
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16. Very nice. That was very nice. Yeah! Yeah!
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17. Nice job! Hey.
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18. All right. Let's go. No, stop. Whoa! Whoa!
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19. Whoa! Whoa! Right out this way.
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20. Right out this way. Hey! Come on!
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21. All right. Let's tackle
this little lady called night.
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22. Couldn't have said it
any better.
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23. I broke the window again.
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24. Dad's gonna be pissed.
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25. Don't worry about it.
I'll just tell him you did it.
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26. But I didn't do it.
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27. I know. Oh.
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28. I'm drivin'. Don't do that. Yeah, I know.
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29. Come on, get up,
you punk!
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30. Get off me!
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31. So, anyways, I'm standing there,
waiting to use the pay phone.
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32. Yeah, he was. Seriously.
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33. And this guy
who's on the phone turns around
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34. and tips his hat like this.
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35. And who do you think
that guy was?
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36. Emilio Estevez!
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37. The Mighty Duckman!
Swear to God! I was there!
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38. Of course you were.
You were the one
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39. that yelled
the Breakfast Cubber's name.
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40. I was like, "Emilio!"
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41. Whoo. Whoo.
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42. So, anyways...
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43. you guys want to make out
or what?
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44. Oh, man!
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45. Oh, shoot! It was perfect that time.
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46. I know. I know. Four months of work
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47. for nothing.
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48. What's up?
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49. Did you know you were doing 50?
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50. Hottie cop likes you. You serious?
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51. You think
she pulls over just anybody?
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52. Make a move.
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53. What's up? Not much.
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54. Just giving you
an 80 dollar ticket.
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55. She is so into you.
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56. I want you to do me a favor. Whatever you say, T. J. Hooker.
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57. Um...
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58. Please obey
all posted speed limits.
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59. Have a good night.
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60. It's already been good,
now that you've served
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61. and protected me.
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62. Way to go, my friend!
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63. You got her badge number,
plus a month from now
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64. you got a date to meet her
at the Municipal State Court.
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65. Up top! Yeah!
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66. Very nice! Oh!
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67. What was the point of that? Sorry.
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68. Come next week,
I'mma take care of it.
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69. All right, man. Whoa.
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70. This is the Roxbury.
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71. No one gets in unless
you're on the list.
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72. We're on the list. Yeah.
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73. Names? Doug Butabi.
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74. Steve Butabi. You're brothers?
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75. No.
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76. Yes! Oh, man! Yes! Oh, man!
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77. That's quite a joke.
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78. Doug is hilarious. Yeah, I know.
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79. Check this out.
You ever heard of this one?
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80. You're not on the list,
so feel free to get in line.
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81. Right. Well—
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82. Is that... It is.
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83. The king o 21 Jump Street.
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84. Richard Grieco. Richard Grieco.
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85. Whoa. Excuse me.
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86. We see you later, Grieco. Later, Richard!
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87. We're gonna go wait in line. Maybe we'll hang out later?
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88. There's no chance
of that happening.
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89. Sounds good.
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90. You know what was wrong
with this place?
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91. It's tough to say,
considering we didn't get in.
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92. Exactly. They don't know
how to properly evaluate
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93. the incoming clientele.
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94. I thought
we just didn't look cool enough.
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95. Come on. You?
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96. You are a beautiful man.
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97. You know what we're gonna do
when we get our own club?
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98. Get in? Yeah,
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99. but we're also gonna treat
all the outside wannabes
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100. just as well as any legendary
television star.
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101. That's pretty Roosevelt of you. That's just what I believe in.
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102. Wanna, uh, dance?
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103. We're not in the club yet. Right.
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104. So, maybe when we get in.
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105. So, I'm standing there waiting
to use the pay phone
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106. and this guy who's on the phone
turns around
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107. and tips his hat like this.
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108. And who do you think
that guy was?
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109. Emilio Estevez!
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110. The Mighty Duck man!
I swear to God!
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111. I was like, "Emilio!"
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112. "Emilio!"
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113. "Emilio!
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114. The club is closed, folks.
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115. Aw. Sorry.
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116. Whoa. Oh!
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117. Nozzled you, my friend. Totally got me.
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118. That was in my nose.
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119. Mm.
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120. You're an idiot.
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121. Oh, yeah? You like it. Stop it.
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122. Why would I like that? You know you do.
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123. Get off. No wait. You butt.
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124. Knock it off!
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125. Where's Mom...
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126. and who's this gorgeous
young hottie in the kitchen?
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127. Yeah. And why is she wearing
Mom's bathrobe?
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128. What do you think
of my new chin?
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129. Is it better than last year's?
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130. Captain, Tennille,
behave yourselves!
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131. Ah, look who's gracing us
with their presence.
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132. Who? Here, Dad.
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133. What is this garbage? A health shake.
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134. It helps me balance my insulin
and hormone levels
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135. so I can hit my physical peak. Barbara,
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136. hurry. Get the video camera.
He's gonna hit his peak.
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137. Honey, if you're gonna hit
your peak, do it in your room.
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138. Oh, Mom, you're hilarious. That's so funny.
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139. Steve,
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140. in the store in a half hour.
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141. Okay? And wear something nice.
Emily's back from school.
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142. Hey, Dad, I think
you're confusing Steve
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143. for someone who gives
a flying rat's ass.
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144. Flying rat's ass?
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145. That'd be wild to see.
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146. Steve, at the store
in a half hour.
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147. And bring your dancing
monkey brother with you.
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148. Hey, you from out
of town?
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149. How you doin', princess?
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150. You've a local number? Oh, you be my lady—
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151. You all right? Yeah.
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152. Sure?
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153. Finally! An hour
and a half late. Very good.
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154. Steve, go dust the roses.
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155. You, idiot boy,
go cover the cash register.
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156. Idiot boy,
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157. go cover the cash register.
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158. Hi.
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159. How are you, uh, you paying
for these?
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160. Is this, uh, cash, check,
or charge?
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161. Charge. Okay.
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162. Is this a Visa, Mastercard?
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163. Move your thumb.
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164. Good one. Okay.
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165. Are you sure this is your card?
'Cause it's not processing.
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166. It's my card.
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167. Okay, I'm gonna have
to call it in.
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168. Operator 238, please.
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169. Authorization. Card number?
What's up?
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170. Doug, I told you not
to call here anymore.
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171. I gotta get an approval.
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172. Well, I gotta get
a card number.
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173. Not the card, sweetness. Me.
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174. Oh, shut up and swipe it.
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175. I can go for that.
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176. Do you like that?
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177. Does that feel good?
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178. 'Cause I could swipe it
all night.
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179. Okay, the card's fine.
Good-bye, Doug.
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180. Bye, 238.
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181. Hi.
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182. Can I help you?
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183. Hi, Doug.
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184. Your nightclub is so cool.
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185. Can my supermodel friends
come in and dance?
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186. You're so funny and cute
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187. and tall. Hey, let's shake it.
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188. I don't see—
Shut up. Let's shake it!
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189. Come on. What are you doing?
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190. Not much. It's not enough
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191. you have to go
to stupid clubs every night.
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192. You have to come here,
cut up my plants
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193. and make toys of them! It's not a toy.
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194. It's a club with a jungle theme.
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195. You're a jungle theme.
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196. Go find your brother
and load the trucks.
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197. Idiot! Useless!
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198. Steve! Steve!
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199. Hi, Steve. Hey, Doug. Hey, Emily.
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200. Hi. Whatever.
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201. So, I guess you're back
from school.
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202. Working for your dad again
at the lamp store?
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203. Yeah. I missed you.
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204. Remember before I went
to school you said
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205. when I get back form school
that we could get together?
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206. And I kept thinking about it.
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207. And thank God
there's no one else,
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208. so we can get together.
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209. So, do you want to go see
a movie or something?
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210. Sure.
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211. Or if you don't wanna do that,
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212. we could just take
a drive around and make out.
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213. I love making out.
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214. It's like one of my all time... Yeah.
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215. favorite things to do
in the whole wide world.
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216. Yeah. And I don't mean to brag,
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217. but I'm really, really,
really, really good at it.
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218. Right. Sounds good.
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219. Back off, Chicklett. What is your problem, Doug?
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220. Emily, I don't know
if you know this,
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221. but my brother and I,
we live life in the fast lane.
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222. And that means no stop signs,
no red lights,
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223. and there's no pulling over
to take pictures.
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224. Now, you see this man over here?
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225. What's up? He's my co-pilot
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226. on this magic carpet ride.
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227. He's carry-on only,
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228. and you're just way
too much luggage.
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229. Shut up, Doug.
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230. Hey, move, move,
move, move, move.
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231. Hey, man! Emily.
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232. I see you've picked
the right son.
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233. Hi, Mr. Butabi. You know, Steve here,
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234. he likes you very much.
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235. Dad, come on!
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236. Hey, Mr. Butabi! Hey, Mr. Sanderson!
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237. Mr. Butabi, is, uh,
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238. Steve asking Emily
to marry him again?
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239. You know something,
after they're married,
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240. if they have enough children,
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241. we won't have to hire
any more salesmen.
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242. Oh, Kamehl, you kill me. No, Mr. S, you kill me.
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243. Mr. Sanderson. Dad.
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244. What? Can you please
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245. just leave Steve alone? Why? He likes the girl.
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246. No, he does not. No, I don't.
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247. Yes, you do,
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248. And, Doug, you see this wall?
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249. After they get married,
we're gonna knock it down,
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250. combine stores, and have
the first plant-lamp shop.
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251. And Steve and Emily
are gonna run it.
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252. And it's up to them if they want
to keep you around
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253. to clean the toilets.
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254. Are you seeing planes?
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255. Is your name tattoo?
Because I swear to God
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256. you're living on Fantasy Island.
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257. God, that was a sweet show. Yeah, it was...
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258. Yes, I have a fantasy.
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259. That I have two capable sons!
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260. Not one with his head up
in the clouds
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261. and the other
with his head up his ass!
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262. And look how you load trucks.
Is this how you do it?
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263. Disgusting! I'm sick and tired
of both of you.
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264. Get the hell out of here.
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265. So we're on a break?
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266. Yeah, I guess.
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267. You wanna crunch it?
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268. Sure.
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269. Let's crunch.
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270. Can the rest of us
use the mirror? That's great.
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271. Thanks a lot. We appreciate it.
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272. Everybody's got
an attitude here.
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273. Gentlemen! Craig!
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274. Lookin' large.
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275. Hey, you want the rest
of my power bar?
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276. No. I got a Nitro Bar. How about an energy bar?
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277. No. I got
a muscle triplicator bar.
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278. Okay. Well, supplements aside,
let me ask you something.
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279. How long we've been friends?
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280. All seven years of high school. Yeah, at least.
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281. That's why I gotta be real
with you right now.
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282. And I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
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283. Look, as a professional trainer,
guys,
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284. I'm a little worried
about your triceps.
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285. Well, you guys aren't going
all the way down.
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286. It's called full extension,
and I'm not seeing it.
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287. Craig, you're right.
we actually had a long talk
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288. about that the other night. Long talk.
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289. I just don't want you
to cheat yourselves.
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290. You know, I'm sorry to come down
on you like this, but...
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291. in a weird way,
it's my job.
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292. Hey, that's why we love you
and we hate you.
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293. Still friends? You know it.
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294. Well, I'm glad
we had this talk.
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295. Oh!
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296. Guns! Yeah!
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297. I was telling Dad
About this great idea
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298. I had for the store. And—Store?
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299. You're sitting around,
thinking about the store, Steve?
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300. You're supposed
to be thinking about—
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301. Hey, what's up? How you doing?
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302. Can we call you
sometimes, Pocahontas?
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303. You got a number?
Want some of this?
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304. How about a little
of that?
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305. All right. You're supposed
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306. to be thinking about our future.
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307. We— Why are you
Mount St. Helensing on me?
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308. Well, why are you forgetting
about our plans?
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309. What plans? The plans about you and I
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310. opening up only the coolest club
in town all of the Roxbury.
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311. Doug, how are we gonna open up
a club like that,
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312. when we can't even get in?
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313. That's because we're letting
them not let us in.
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314. But you know what? That is it!
No more!
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315. It is time we stepped up
into that sweet ass world,
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316. and from now on, the only club
we're going to is the Roxbury.
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317. But how are we gonna get in? No, but nothing.
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318. We can't—No, we can and we will,
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319. and do you know why? We're good-looking?
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320. We're very good-looking.
You especially.
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321. Thanks. Now, repeat after me.
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322. We can get into the Roxbury.
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323. We can get into the Roxbury.
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324. Roxbury. Roxbury.
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325. Roxbury! Roxbury!
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326. Roxbury! Roxbury!
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327. Roxbury! Rox—Roxbury! Rox—
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328. Hey, what's goin' on? Hey, what's up?
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329. You guys up for some of this? How you doin'?
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330. How about a little
of that?
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331. She bends down, she starts
to smell them.
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332. Hmm. Oh.
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333. She thought
they were real plants.
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334. No! You know, we're not,
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335. I wouldn't kid you
about something like that.
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336. Are you kidding me? Hello?
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337. Hey. What's up?
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338. The Sandersons are here
to see your mother's new chin.
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339. Get dressed and come join us. Okay.
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340. Sorry, Dad.
We're a little busy tonight.
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341. Nice to see you folks. Later.
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342. Steve! I'll be right back.
Steve!
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343. Steve! I like your bathing suit.
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344. It looks really good on you
'cause you have
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345. really good, um,
muscle definition.
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346. Uh-huh. Most of the American men
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347. that I know don't wear
such revealing bathing suits.
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348. Uh-huh. It's very European of you.
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349. Huh. It's really, really sexy.
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350. And I don't mean to brag,
but I have really good taste
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351. in what's sexy. Thanks, Emily.
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352. Steve!
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353. I mean, whatever, Emily.
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354. Good.
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355. What's up? What's going on?
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356. What's going on?
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357. Hey, you from out of town?
Hey, you from out of town?
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358. You from out of town?
Yeah.
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359. Yeah. Yeah.
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360. Yeah.
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361. Wait.
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362. Hey. Oh.
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363. All right, yeah! Yeah!
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364. When I tell you
to do something, I mean it.
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365. What's this business
coming in half-naked
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366. when we have company?
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367. Put some clothes on
and come downstairs immediately.
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368. Ain't on our things-to-do list,
daddy-o.
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369. Steve and I have
something extremely important
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370. to do tonight. Yes, you do.
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371. To get downstairs immediately. I don't want to!
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372. Would you please explain to me
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373. what I have to do to get through
to this individual?
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374. Dad, it— it's like this.
Doug is like a fax machine.
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375. Okay?
You keep putting things in,
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376. but if you don't have
a cover page,
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377. people don't know
where it's coming from.
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378. And sometimes
you get a busy signal.
Copy !req
379. And that's why you got
a memory button
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380. and a redial button.
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381. Actually, I never use it.
I always screw it up.
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382. I don't know, what—Don't bother explaining it
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383. to him. He'll never understand. No, you're wrong.
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384. I do understand very well.
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385. You're going to a big, new,
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386. hot club tonight.
Isn't that what it is?
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387. Yeah. That's right. Yes. Exactly.
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388. What I don't understand
is how you're gonna get there.
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389. What are you doing? What are you doing?
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390. God!
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391. Oh! Oh, sh— man!
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392. You can take away our phones
and you can take away our keys,
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393. but you cannot take away
our dreams!
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394. That's right! 'Cause we're like
sleeping when we have them.
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395. Later much!
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396. Boys! Boys, wait!
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397. I don't like you leaving
without a phone.
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398. Just in case something happens.
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399. Mom, how old are these?
These are embarrassing.
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400. Well, you know,
in case of emergency.
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401. Have fun. Mom get lipstick on me?
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402. Yeah. But it looks like
you were making out.
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403. Sweet.
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404. How's my hair? Good.
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405. Roxbury good?
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406. You know it. Okay.
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407. I gotta tell you something,
Steve. Tonight,
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408. I can taste it.
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409. I can't taste it, Doug, I can't!
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410. I'm so scared right now,
I don't know what to do!
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411. Okay, you're mad-cowing on me.
All right. You have to relax.
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412. I'm nervous.
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413. I mean, we put all this pressure
on ourselves
Copy !req
414. to get into the Roxbury,
and I don't know
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415. if we can deliver.
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416. You have to take control
of yourself, okay?
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417. No, you gotta take control!
I'm barely hanging on here!
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418. Oh, Steve.
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419. Shh. Shh. Come on, relax. Shh.
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420. Think puppies and candy canes,
all right?
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421. Shh. Okay. Shh. Hey, hot lady, what's goin' on?
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422. All right, we'll clean up later.
Don't worry about it.
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423. Take it easy.
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424. Doug, I see
your Roxbury balloon,
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425. and I hate to be the one
to burst it...
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426. but we don't even have
our own car,
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427. and I don't think
our name's on that list.
Copy !req
428. Perfect. Rites of passage.
Copy !req
429. Remember that television show
about Africa?
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430. They sent the boy
into the jungle
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431. with nothing but a spear
to hunt the lion.
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432. This van is our spear,
and that Roxbury is our lion.
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433. Does the bouncer know
about this?
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434. He's about to find out.
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435. Ladies, you're all right.
See you next week.
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436. My good hombre. Remember us?
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437. No. Doug and Steve Butabi.
Copy !req
438. You're brothers? No.
Copy !req
439. Yes. Yes.
Copy !req
440. Man, works every time. I know.
Copy !req
441. Now I remember.
You can't come in.
Copy !req
442. What's up, Rocky?
Copy !req
443. How you doin' tonight? Hmm. All right.
Copy !req
444. It's time to play
a little softball.
Copy !req
445. Hey, good man,
how's it goin' tonight?
Copy !req
446. Good. You still can't come in.
Copy !req
447. Well, that's not what a friend
of mine told me.
Copy !req
448. Maybe you know him.
His name is Abraham.
Copy !req
449. You don't know him.
Copy !req
450. What about his two friends?
George Washington,
Copy !req
451. and George Washington.
Copy !req
452. Let's not forget the other boy
in the band...
Copy !req
453. George Washington.
Copy !req
454. He's a little lonely.
Wants to join his buddies.
Copy !req
455. And look who else we got.
Roosevelt,
Copy !req
456. Roosevelt, and Jefferson.
Copy !req
457. That's... great.
Copy !req
458. That's not an ATM. That's where
you drop off videos.
Copy !req
459. Hello! That's it!
Copy !req
460. That was a card store. Here's one!
Copy !req
461. No, that's just weight watchers.
Copy !req
462. ATM! That's it! No, that's—
Copy !req
463. Shit. The car!
Copy !req
464. The car? What about me?
Copy !req
465. No, this car is a racing car.
It's illegal.
Copy !req
466. All I need is a police report.
Copy !req
467. You all right? Yeah. Let me see.
Copy !req
468. Oh. Oh, great.
Copy !req
469. They're starting
with the neck injuries.
Copy !req
470. I'm screwed. I'm really screwed.
Copy !req
471. Jeez. Man,
Copy !req
472. I'm a mess. What happened?
Copy !req
473. Hey, sorry about your van.
Copy !req
474. No way! Richard Grieco! Yeah.
Copy !req
475. Remember we saw you last night
at the Roxbury?
Copy !req
476. Yeah, we were outside.
Copy !req
477. Right. Right. So, uh,
what do you want to do?
Copy !req
478. Well, we were just gonna go
to the Roxbury again.
Copy !req
479. But we couldn't get in.
Copy !req
480. Well, hey, guys, do you want me
to get you into the Roxbury?
Copy !req
481. Yeah! Yeah!
Copy !req
482. Great. Follow me.
Copy !req
483. This is amazing. See? It all comes from within.
Copy !req
484. And he felt it
because he's an actor
Copy !req
485. and very sensitive. Right.
Copy !req
486. We gotta make a stop
at the Roxbury.
Copy !req
487. What about the party?
Copy !req
488. I just don't want a lawsuit,
okay?
Copy !req
489. Oh, my God, Doug.
Copy !req
490. This is the most amazing place
I've ever been.
Copy !req
491. Guys, guys,
this is the coat room.
Copy !req
492. The club's in here.
Copy !req
493. What's up? How you doing? What's up?
Copy !req
494. What's up? What's up? Yeah.
Copy !req
495. What's up? What's up? Oh! All right.
Copy !req
496. What's up? What's up?
What's up? What's up?
Copy !req
497. What's up? What's up? Hey, Steve,
Copy !req
498. get a hold of yourself,
all right?
Copy !req
499. I'm sorry. It's hottie overload
in here.
Copy !req
500. I know. Just pace yourself. What's up?
Copy !req
501. Two, three, four. What's up?
Copy !req
502. Two, three, four. What's up?
Copy !req
503. Four...
Copy !req
504. Sweet. Sweet.
Copy !req
505. Richard, my man,
good to see you! Get over here!
Copy !req
506. Benny.
The place is kicking.
Copy !req
507. Actually, it's jumping like
21 Jump Street, right?
Copy !req
508. Who are your friends? Oh, uh, guys,
Copy !req
509. this is Mr. Zadir.
He owns the place.
Copy !req
510. Uh, these are, uh—Doug Butabi.
Copy !req
511. Steve Butabi. You look like good boys.
Copy !req
512. Come to my VIP table.
Copy !req
513. Doug, the owner! This is the man we want to be.
Copy !req
514. I thought we wanted
to be like Grieco.
Copy !req
515. Though appearance
and automotive wise,
Copy !req
516. it's Grieco, but professionally,
it's this guy.
Copy !req
517. Got it.
Copy !req
518. Dooey, my main man.
Copy !req
519. I love this man.
Copy !req
520. I want you to meet
the Butabi brothers.
Copy !req
521. These are good boys. Hey.
Copy !req
522. Who grabbed my ass?
Did you grab my ass?
Copy !req
523. No, sir, I did not grab
your ass.
Copy !req
524. It's okay if you did.
Copy !req
525. I understand.
Copy !req
526. Just that you're barking up
the wrong tree.
Copy !req
527. So, you guys come here a lot?
Copy !req
528. Yeah. All the time. But we've never been inside.
Copy !req
529. Steve,
watch what you're saying.
Copy !req
530. So is Johnny Depp
meeting you here or what?
Copy !req
531. No.
Copy !req
532. All right. Um, listen, Benny,
Copy !req
533. we'll see you later. Hey. Okay.
Copy !req
534. All right. See you, guys. See you, Richard Grieco.
Copy !req
535. See ya, Grieco's lady.
Copy !req
536. Sir, I just wanna say
that it is an honor
Copy !req
537. to shoot the shit with the owner
of the club
Copy !req
538. of all clubs. Ah.
Copy !req
539. Yeah, and we're pretty
proficient club-hoppers,
Copy !req
540. so we know
what we're talking about.
Copy !req
541. But we usually go to this place
called the Mudd Club,
Copy !req
542. and that place is rank.
Copy !req
543. They'll let any ass-wad
in the door.
Copy !req
544. I own that place also.
Copy !req
545. It's a really good location. Aa— and the drinks
Copy !req
546. are reasonably priced. No, no, no. You boys are right.
Copy !req
547. That's what's wrong
with the club business today.
Copy !req
548. One day you're hot, the next day
you're not. Ah, poof.
Copy !req
549. Tell him.
Copy !req
550. Well, actually, I, uh, if I may
Copy !req
551. had an idea for a club. Wait.
Copy !req
552. Did you grab my ass?
Copy !req
553. No. Do you want to?
Copy !req
554. No.
Copy !req
555. Sh— sh— should I?
Copy !req
556. Okay. Continue.
Copy !req
557. Yeah. Well, you know how people,
Copy !req
558. when they're waiting outside
of a club and they're bummed
Copy !req
559. 'cause they're trying to get in?
Copy !req
560. This is great. This is great.
Copy !req
561. Well, what if the outside
of the club
Copy !req
562. looked like the inside?
Copy !req
563. You know, they had couches
and music
Copy !req
564. and all that stuff going on.
Copy !req
565. But then on the inside... This is the best part.
Copy !req
566. it looks like the street.
You know, cars and street signs.
Copy !req
567. So basically,
the outside is the inside,
Copy !req
568. and the inside is the outside. Doesn't that blow your mind?
Copy !req
569. What about that guy? Owns a restaurant.
Copy !req
570. How many? One.
Copy !req
571. Boy, has this place
gone downhill.
Copy !req
572. Look, I don't see anything
over six figures.
Copy !req
573. Let's just get out of here. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
574. That's that Zadir guy.
Copy !req
575. Who are those guys
with him?
Copy !req
576. I don't know,
but if they're with Zadir,
Copy !req
577. They have got
to be worth something.
Copy !req
578. Great. Let's work.
Copy !req
579. Tell him about the vampire idea.
That's good.
Copy !req
580. I can't tell him about
that idea.
Copy !req
581. That's a good idea. It's a dumb idea.
Copy !req
582. Wait! I have to say hello
to Jim Carrey.
Copy !req
583. Jim! Come here,
you pet-detective bastard!
Copy !req
584. Smokin'! You crazy son
of a bitch!
Copy !req
585. Was I too pushy? No.
Copy !req
586. I was too pushy.
Copy !req
587. Did I speak well? You were totally articulate.
Copy !req
588. It's really hard
Copy !req
589. to pitch in a nightclub. I know, I know.
Copy !req
590. I mean, did you ever notice
the music is way too loud
Copy !req
591. in here. Yeah.
Copy !req
592. We have to get a meeting.
Copy !req
593. Steve, will you—
Copy !req
594. What's up? You wanna dance? Yes.
Copy !req
595. All right. Take it easy.
Copy !req
596. Steve, she said, "Yes."What?
Copy !req
597. Hotties wanna shake it.
Come on.
Copy !req
598. Uh, no...
Copy !req
599. That's some good ass-grabbing
going on there.
Copy !req
600. Wow, 1980. Good year.
Copy !req
601. Nineteen-eighty
was an excellent year.
Copy !req
602. Devo had a huge hit that year.
Copy !req
603. Yeah, and Joanie Loves Chachi
started that year.
Copy !req
604. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joanie Loves Chachi,
Copy !req
605. but does Chachi give
a flying fuck about Joanie?
Copy !req
606. Cambi makes
a good point.
Copy !req
607. But tonight, we have some fun,
Copy !req
608. not dwell on Scott Baio.
Copy !req
609. Sweet suds, Mr. Zadir. Champagne is good and all,
Copy !req
610. but you know
what really makes a party?
Copy !req
611. Fluffy whip.
Copy !req
612. Yeah, but not when you put it
on stuff.
Copy !req
613. When you— when you press
the little white nozzle,
Copy !req
614. before anything comes out,
you suck on it.
Copy !req
615. It's really fun.
Copy !req
616. You mean like nitrous oxide?
Whippets?
Copy !req
617. No! No! Cha.
Copy !req
618. What is that? Dooey,
Copy !req
619. we have to stop and get
some fluffy whip for the party.
Copy !req
620. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
621. But it has to be fluffy whip
in a can!
Copy !req
622. He can't hear you.
Copy !req
623. Hey, Dooey,
Copy !req
624. tell your mom that I had
a nice time last night!
Copy !req
625. And your dad!
Copy !req
626. What?
Copy !req
627. I mean, your sister!
Copy !req
628. Good one, man! So tight! Yeah!
Copy !req
629. Only in a limo. We nailed him.
Copy !req
630. Disco dicks.
Copy !req
631. And that alien
Copy !req
632. was Robin Williams. Yes, I remember.
Copy !req
633. I'll be right back.
Copy !req
634. It's my boss' card.
You can take it.
Copy !req
635. He's— he's right outside. I'll take care of that.
Copy !req
636. Operator 238, please.
Copy !req
637. What's up? Hello, Doug.
Copy !req
638. Guess where we went tonight.
Copy !req
639. Well, let me see...
Copy !req
640. the one-stop market on Ventura?
Copy !req
641. Huh, no! I mean before that,
you sly little Credit Vixen.
Copy !req
642. Well, I give up,
you nasty little card swiper.
Copy !req
643. The Roxbury with Richard Grieco.
You gotta come out sometime.
Copy !req
644. Well, I would, but then,
you know, there'd be no one here
Copy !req
645. to approve all the money
you spend.
Copy !req
646. You're always thinking of me.
Copy !req
647. Well, the card's good.
Copy !req
648. Bye, Doug.
Copy !req
649. She approved. Aboo.
Copy !req
650. Sweet ass dwelling,
Mr. Zadir.
Copy !req
651. Look at this.
Copy !req
652. Bought a hundred thousand
dollars sound system,
Copy !req
653. and nobody's dancing!
Copy !req
654. Well, if I may to, uh, congest,
the pool here is taking up
Copy !req
655. all the prime dancing
real estate.
Copy !req
656. Yeah, if you would've put
a big piece of glass
Copy !req
657. over the pool, you could use it
as a dance floor.
Copy !req
658. And that would be sweet,
Copy !req
659. because it would be like dancing
on water,
Copy !req
660. and people love to do that.
Copy !req
661. Boys, boys,
let's not talk business now.
Copy !req
662. Let's set up a meeting, huh?
Copy !req
663. Hey, Anna Nicole!
Put something on!
Copy !req
664. You're making us sick.
Copy !req
665. Meeting! Meeting!
Copy !req
666. Let's mingle.
Copy !req
667. Right.
Copy !req
668. This Italian food tastes
so good.
Copy !req
669. It's like Mexican. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
670. Could you pass me
a towel, please?
Copy !req
671. Good. How are you? About eight o' clock, 8:15.
Copy !req
672. They're right
behind you.
Copy !req
673. Yeah, all the time. BMW.
Copy !req
674. Right off sunset. Vanilla mostly.
Copy !req
675. There you are.
Copy !req
676. We got scared.
Copy !req
677. Of who? We'll kick his ass! Yeah!
Copy !req
678. No. We got scared
somebody stole you away from us.
Copy !req
679. Oh.
Copy !req
680. Oh! Okay.
Copy !req
681. Like some other girls
would steal us away.
Copy !req
682. Oh. Right.
Copy !req
683. Oh!
Copy !req
684. So, do you guys wanna go
someplace we can be alone?
Copy !req
685. No.
Copy !req
686. Yes! Yes!
Copy !req
687. Oh, man! Oh, God!
Copy !req
688. So sweet. Like candy.
Copy !req
689. Why does it taste
so sweet?
Copy !req
690. 'Cause it's like candy,
I said.
Copy !req
691. These are real. .
They'll be dead in a week.
Copy !req
692. Oh!
Copy !req
693. You know what I always thought
Copy !req
694. would make a cool
"Twilight Zone"?
Copy !req
695. Huh? Like, we look at this,
Copy !req
696. and we see a picture
of this lady.
Copy !req
697. But to this lady,
are we just a picture of us?
Copy !req
698. Did you ever think of that?
Copy !req
699. No.
Copy !req
700. Why don't you, uh...
Copy !req
701. come over here?
Copy !req
702. Vivica, you know what I heard
when I first met you?
Copy !req
703. What?
Copy !req
704. What are you doing?
Copy !req
705. That's an ambulance
coming to take me away,
Copy !req
706. 'cause the sight of you
stopped my heart.
Copy !req
707. Cambi...
Copy !req
708. do you like blueberries
or strawberries?
Copy !req
709. Why?
Copy !req
710. 'Cause I wanna know
what kind of pancakes
Copy !req
711. to order you in the morning.
Copy !req
712. I was wondering if, uh...
Copy !req
713. What are you doing? Checking your label.
Copy !req
714. Just as I thought.
Made in heaven.
Copy !req
715. Uh, Doug, you've gotten past
the opening lines.
Copy !req
716. Hey, hey, hey.
Copy !req
717. Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Copy !req
718. What?
Copy !req
719. 'Cause I can see myself
in your pants.
Copy !req
720. Hey, Doug,
Copy !req
721. if I said you had a nice body,
would you hold it against me?
Copy !req
722. What?
Copy !req
723. I was there. I was like,
"Emilio!"
Copy !req
724. And Doug was going cra-
Copy !req
725. Ugh. What are you— No.
Copy !req
726. And Steve was like, "Emilio!"
Copy !req
727. Oh, God, if you were only there.
Copy !req
728. You know,
I feel like a selfish pig...
Copy !req
729. just going on and on
Copy !req
730. about myself. What about you?
Copy !req
731. Where you from?
Any brothers or sisters?
Copy !req
732. You have any family? Uh, pets.
What about pets?
Copy !req
733. I got a cat.
Copy !req
734. Really? A cat. Interesting.
Copy !req
735. I think of you more
as a dog person.
Copy !req
736. That's funny.
Copy !req
737. You know, maybe Pomeranian,
Copy !req
738. Lhasa Apso,
something kinda small,
Copy !req
739. warm, fuzzy.
Copy !req
740. Is this your first time?
Copy !req
741. Yes. Isn't it yours?
Copy !req
742. Is this your first time?
Copy !req
743. What? Are you...
serious?
Copy !req
744. Oh, my— You're hilarious! Oh.
Copy !req
745. Oh, man, you're funny!
Copy !req
746. Hey, Steve!
Copy !req
747. You're a funny girl. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
748. Oh, man. What? All right.
Copy !req
749. Hey, where are you going?
Copy !req
750. Okay, that was terrific.
Copy !req
751. Doug!
Copy !req
752. Oh, my God! Did you just-
Copy !req
753. 'Cause I just... Oh, man! It's unbelievable!
Copy !req
754. Not that it hasn't happened
before.
Copy !req
755. Of course not. I mean it was okay. It was,
Copy !req
756. you know, right. Yeah. The usual. Totally.
Copy !req
757. You know, I'm gonna go back in
and...
Copy !req
758. Yeah, Doug?
Copy !req
759. You got a number!
Copy !req
760. We got a number! We got a number!
Copy !req
761. Whoo! Whoo!
Copy !req
762. Whoo! Whoo!
Copy !req
763. Whoo! Yeah! Whoo! Whoo!
Copy !req
764. Doug. Doug, I got
some great office supplies
Copy !req
765. for our new nightclub business.
Copy !req
766. Let's see. Post-it notes,
to annotate important documents.
Copy !req
767. All right. Little post-it notes.
Copy !req
768. 'Cause you write smaller
than me. And, uh, mugs
Copy !req
769. with our names on them.
Copy !req
770. Yours says Doug. Sweet.
Copy !req
771. Did you, uh, call Mr. Zadir?
Copy !req
772. Okay, before you talk
to a man like Mr. Zadir,
Copy !req
773. you have to have a plan
of attack, all right?
Copy !req
774. Right. Um,
Copy !req
775. I'd really like to schedule
a meeting. Can you do...
Copy !req
776. 12:30? Uh, let's see.
Copy !req
777. I'm clear. Okay,
Copy !req
778. you know, what we should do?
Copy !req
779. We should probably have
a pre-meeting
Copy !req
780. to brainstorm
before our scheduled meeting.
Copy !req
781. Yeah, that way
we don't look like idiots
Copy !req
782. at our meeting. Exactly.
Copy !req
783. Okay. Okay. Good.
Copy !req
784. I'm sorry. Register's closed.
Copy !req
785. Yeah. Sorry.
Copy !req
786. Okay. Okay.
Copy !req
787. Uh, Mr. Butabi,
Copy !req
788. where is the other
cash register?
Copy !req
789. So 1I would be better. Right.
Copy !req
790. Hey, Steve.
Copy !req
791. Yeah? I was just thinking.
Copy !req
792. Dad would be really proud
of us right now.
Copy !req
793. What are you idiots doing?
Copy !req
794. I pay you to take money
Copy !req
795. and push a button
on the cash register.
Copy !req
796. What, did you injure
your delicate fingers
Copy !req
797. in a cellular phone accident?
Copy !req
798. For your information,
we are working our asses off.
Copy !req
799. Yeah, our week's filling up
pretty quick.
Copy !req
800. Dad, last night,
Copy !req
801. we made some very important
business contacts.
Copy !req
802. Really? Doing what?
Copy !req
803. Dancing the "Macarena"
with Donald Trump?
Copy !req
804. You're always telling us
to do something with our lives,
Copy !req
805. and when we finally do,
you gotta put us down.
Copy !req
806. You never support us,
Copy !req
807. and you never care
about what's important to us,
Copy !req
808. right, Steve? Yeah.
Copy !req
809. F— for the most part. Oh, ho, ho, ho!
Copy !req
810. Even your brother
is not convinced.
Copy !req
811. Why? Because he uses his brain,
unlike you! You, you're a loser!
Copy !req
812. New policy!
Copy !req
813. No more clubs!
Copy !req
814. What? Yes!
Copy !req
815. Your life is retail.
Copy !req
816. Go clean the stockroom.
Copy !req
817. You know what, Papa San?
Copy !req
818. Not only will we not clean up
the stockroom,
Copy !req
819. but we are officially out
of here!
Copy !req
820. Come on, Steve!
Copy !req
821. But what about the stockroom?
Copy !req
822. We don't need you!
Copy !req
823. We made huge-ass contacts
last night.
Copy !req
824. Yeah, plus,
we met these girls, Dad,
Copy !req
825. and you wouldn't believe
what happened.
Copy !req
826. We're gonna make
it without you, Padre.
Copy !req
827. You'll see!
Copy !req
828. Yes, I'll see
when you come home tonight
Copy !req
829. begging for food and shelter!
Idiots!
Copy !req
830. Morons! Steve! Steve!
Copy !req
831. Not now! You're an ass, Doug.
Copy !req
832. Wanna go to the beach later?
Copy !req
833. I've got my bathing suit on
underneath this dress.
Copy !req
834. Also, I know of a beach
Copy !req
835. where you don't have to wear
a bathing suit.
Copy !req
836. And I don't know how you feel
about that but personally
Copy !req
837. I find it very liberating.
Copy !req
838. Plus, you know,
with my milky white skin
Copy !req
839. I have to watch up the tiny—Em— Emily,
Copy !req
840. we're experiencing
a major family crisis
Copy !req
841. right now. I'm gonna have
to take a rain check
Copy !req
842. on this convo. Steve! Car!
Copy !req
843. Nice bulbs, Emily. Thanks.
Copy !req
844. And I don't mean
that metaphorically.
Copy !req
845. Don't— Just give me a call
Copy !req
846. or call me later
if you wanna go out
Copy !req
847. or just call me anyway! Shut up!
Copy !req
848. You notice we forgot
to ask her something?
Copy !req
849. You mean, what's up? Yeah. That's weird.
Copy !req
850. Actually, it's not.
Copy !req
851. We're both
in very serious relationships
Copy !req
852. right now, and our ladies know
they can trust us.
Copy !req
853. Why go out for burgers
when you got steak at home?
Copy !req
854. You're right.
We should get lunch after this.
Copy !req
855. You all right?
Copy !req
856. Yeah. Fine.
Copy !req
857. Doug and Steve Butabi
for Mr. Zadir.
Copy !req
858. You're brothers?
Copy !req
859. Ma'am, we appreciate the setup,
but we really can't get
Copy !req
860. into that right now. No, we shouldn't.
Copy !req
861. Your names are not on the list,
and nobody gets in
Copy !req
862. without an appointment.
Copy !req
863. We have a meeting. Your names are not on my list.
Copy !req
864. Doug, Mr. Zadir!
Copy !req
865. Security!
Copy !req
866. Dooey! Yeah! Dooey! Yeah!
Copy !req
867. Up top! Whoo! Main man! Whoo!
Copy !req
868. Ragin' party last night. Yeah?
Copy !req
869. Is that what my mother told you?
Copy !req
870. Or was it my father? What?
Copy !req
871. Those cans
of fluffy whip
Copy !req
872. were a big hit at the party. Oh!
Copy !req
873. I was out till four
in the morning looking for more.
Copy !req
874. From dusk till dawn.
You, sir, are a party animal.
Copy !req
875. It's been great
spending quality time and all,
Copy !req
876. but we have a meeting
with Mr. Zadir.
Copy !req
877. Let's go. Right.
Copy !req
878. You keep away from Zadir.
Copy !req
879. He was drunk last night.
Copy !req
880. He doesn't even remember you.
Copy !req
881. You think
you're the first losers
Copy !req
882. Zadir's picked up on the weekend
Copy !req
883. that I had to get rid of
on a Monday?
Copy !req
884. Am I reading
my dis-meter correctly here?
Copy !req
885. 'Cause I could swear
we're being blown off.
Copy !req
886. Actually,
you're being kicked out.
Copy !req
887. What are you— Doug!
Copy !req
888. Hey! Mr. Zadir! Doug!
Copy !req
889. Hey, Mr. Zadir!
Copy !req
890. Doug!
Copy !req
891. Hey! That doesn't feel good
at all!
Copy !req
892. Dooey kicked me! That doesn't feel...
Copy !req
893. very, very important. Dooey,
what's going on out there?
Copy !req
894. Just a couple of trespassers,
sir.
Copy !req
895. Did you find the boys
from last night?
Copy !req
896. I haven't been able
to locate them yet,
Copy !req
897. but don't worry, sir. I'm on it.
Copy !req
898. Dooey... did you just grab
my ass?
Copy !req
899. Sir, from where I'm standing,
that's a physical impossibility.
Copy !req
900. Ah, I know your tricks, Dooey.
Copy !req
901. Maybe we should just go back
to work.
Copy !req
902. Yeah, and maybe we should go
to college
Copy !req
903. and not put gel in our hair
and start wearing blue jeans!
Copy !req
904. Let's do that, Steve!
Copy !req
905. Sorry.
Copy !req
906. Cambi's number.
Copy !req
907. We had a pretty sweet time
last night, didn't we?
Copy !req
908. Sweet ass time. Diabetic.
Copy !req
909. I could see us doing that again.
Copy !req
910. Maybe even a couple times
a week, right?
Copy !req
911. The ladies await, my friend!
Copy !req
912. Cell!
Copy !req
913. Fascinating.
Copy !req
914. So you travel to places
other than Japan?
Copy !req
915. Who is it?
Copy !req
916. I don't know.
Just a bunch of pound signs.
Copy !req
917. I don't know
if you're doing it right.
Copy !req
918. Steve, you have to hit
the pound sign,
Copy !req
919. or it doesn't go through.
Copy !req
920. You— you have
to put in our number,
Copy !req
921. and then hit the pound sign.
Copy !req
922. Excuse me,
Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Copy !req
923. That's a sweet show, too.
Copy !req
924. Hello. Cambi, it's your boyfriend.
Copy !req
925. Huh? Look, I need to see you.
Copy !req
926. Uh, well, I'm at the Skybar.
Copy !req
927. We'll be right there. Nice.
Copy !req
928. I know it's nice!
Copy !req
929. That was so good! I was focused the whole time.
Copy !req
930. My God. Let's go.
Copy !req
931. So, did you guys have
Copy !req
932. as good a time last night
as we did?
Copy !req
933. I had a great time, Vivica.
Copy !req
934. In fact, I think we've reached
a point
Copy !req
935. where I can comfortably
call you Viv
Copy !req
936. and leave out the "Ica."
Copy !req
937. Do you guys wanna hang out,
or...
Copy !req
938. do what we did last night or—
Copy !req
939. or eat and, uh,
do what we did last night?
Copy !req
940. Sounds good. Okay.
Copy !req
941. Ladies,
have your boarding passes ready.
Copy !req
942. Uh, ma'am, you're gonna
have to check your bag.
Copy !req
943. The movie on this flight
will be, uh...
Copy !req
944. I don't know.
I can't think of any more.
Copy !req
945. Where's your car?
Copy !req
946. Our dad got mad, took it away.
Copy !req
947. Your dad? Yeah.
Copy !req
948. We used to work for him,
but we quit today,
Copy !req
949. so actually, we're unemployed.
Copy !req
950. Right. Yeah.
Copy !req
951. You're not in business
with Mr. Zadir?
Copy !req
952. Oh, no! We are! We just... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
953. you know, we just met him
last night, so we will be.
Copy !req
954. So, no, but... yes.
Copy !req
955. Especially, if we ever get
to see him again.
Copy !req
956. Right. Yeah.
Copy !req
957. Hey, we were just kidding
about the boarding passes.
Copy !req
958. You can get in. Get away from us.
Copy !req
959. What's wrong?
Copy !req
960. You guys are a big waste
of time.
Copy !req
961. Como? What? Steve, you're a jerk-off!
Copy !req
962. Well, I'm glad
Copy !req
963. you shared that with me.
Copy !req
964. It's a big step for both of us.
Copy !req
965. Guys, consider what we did
for you last night a favor.
Copy !req
966. Now do us a favor
and never talk to us again.
Copy !req
967. Wha— what did we do wrong?
We'll change.
Copy !req
968. You can't change.
Copy !req
969. You and your brother are ugly,
pathetic losers!
Copy !req
970. I can't believe
we actually had sex
Copy !req
971. with these asswads.
Copy !req
972. Now, see, that's
the problem with nightclubs.
Copy !req
973. Poor schmucks look the same
as rich schmucks.
Copy !req
974. No.
Copy !req
975. Yes.
Copy !req
976. Steve, this is the worst day
of my life,
Copy !req
977. and I'd really appreciate it
Copy !req
978. if you didn't talk to me
right now, all right?
Copy !req
979. I don't know how I'm supposed
to respond to that.
Copy !req
980. Big surprise, Steve.
Copy !req
981. You don't know
how to do something!
Copy !req
982. You don't know
how to work the clubs!
Copy !req
983. You don't know
how to talk to the ladies!
Copy !req
984. The only thing you know
how to do
Copy !req
985. is ask me how to do everything! But I'm just follo—
Copy !req
986. That's why
everything's gone wrong!
Copy !req
987. Because you're holding me back.
You're like this—
Copy !req
988. you're like— you're like this—
this thing. Like,
Copy !req
989. it's tied to my leg. Like this—
this dragging thing. Like,
Copy !req
990. it's on a chain,
being dragged like...
Copy !req
991. Lead weight, lead weight. Yes. Thank you.
Copy !req
992. But I'm not letting you drag me
down anymore! That's it!
Copy !req
993. Fin! Nothing! Wall! That's all!
Nothing!
Copy !req
994. You know, you can't blame me
for what happened.
Copy !req
995. I mean, today was just a series
of random events gone awry.
Copy !req
996. Well, maybe
they wouldn't go awry
Copy !req
997. if I had someone sitting next
to me with a brain!
Copy !req
998. You know what? Dad was right.
Copy !req
999. You are a loser!
Copy !req
1000. You know what, Steve?
Copy !req
1001. I lied. You're not good-looking!
Copy !req
1002. Di— did you say something?
Copy !req
1003. 'Cause I have trouble
hearing things
Copy !req
1004. from that low to the ground!
Copy !req
1005. Well, hear this! From now on,
consider me your ex-brother!
Copy !req
1006. I don't care. Care about this, huh?
Copy !req
1007. You want that?
You want the real thing?
Copy !req
1008. Huh? No. Do— do you want—
Copy !req
1009. Then stop talking to me! No. Fine.
Copy !req
1010. My pleasure. Fine! Great. Good. Nice!
Copy !req
1011. Stop!
Copy !req
1012. Yeah, adhesive...
Copy !req
1013. Little Post-Its,
you little idiot.
Copy !req
1014. Throwing these out
'cause I hate you.
Copy !req
1015. You should take a lesson
from it.
Copy !req
1016. You went after those kids
Copy !req
1017. 'cause you wanna... Grieco.
Copy !req
1018. And when you couldn't
nail them, you went
Copy !req
1019. after the next most likely
bigot me.
Copy !req
1020. You want to get yourself
a racist so bad...
Copy !req
1021. You'll be very happy
with these, ma'am.
Copy !req
1022. These roses are our top seller. How long do they last?
Copy !req
1023. They last forever,
'cause they're silk.
Copy !req
1024. They'll always be in bloom.
Copy !req
1025. They'll never die, never change.
Copy !req
1026. They'll never say
you're not good-looking.
Copy !req
1027. They'll always be in your room
Copy !req
1028. where you left 'em.
Copy !req
1029. And not suddenly
move out
Copy !req
1030. to the guest house. See.
Copy !req
1031. Uh, Steven, excuse me.
Copy !req
1032. Uh, something has come up.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Copy !req
1033. Steven, what's going on?
All the customers are depressed.
Copy !req
1034. It's just I'm used
to seeing Doug at the register.
Copy !req
1035. I miss him. He's in the guest house.
Copy !req
1036. It's ten feet away.
It's a mansion in there.
Copy !req
1037. There's no cable. Yes, there is.
Copy !req
1038. They have Cinemax. But there's no HBO!
Copy !req
1039. God!
Copy !req
1040. Squeeze.
You can feel it right here.
Copy !req
1041. Squeeze!
Copy !req
1042. Hey, Steve. Yeah! come on!
Copy !req
1043. Hey, how you doing?
Um, I heard about your brother.
Copy !req
1044. So? So when are we gonna go out?
Copy !req
1045. I know a place
Copy !req
1046. with great spinach wraps.
Copy !req
1047. Look, Emily,
Copy !req
1048. I know you've had your heart set
on this for a long time,
Copy !req
1049. but the truth is, I mean,
I'm a rebel,
Copy !req
1050. and you're like this sweet
girl-from-next-door type.
Copy !req
1051. Steve, you're forgetting.
I go to college, okay?
Copy !req
1052. Translation, drunken orgies
with occasional cliff notes.
Copy !req
1053. Look, it sounds good,
Copy !req
1054. but I just got out of
this very serious relationship,
Copy !req
1055. and it's gonna take some time
to nurse my emotional wounds.
Copy !req
1056. And that could take, like,
until... ... Saturday.
Copy !req
1057. Saturday? That's perfect.
Copy !req
1058. Your dad got us tickets
to see David Copperfield
Copy !req
1059. this Saturday night.
Copy !req
1060. Ah, it's gonna be so much fun
to see things appear
Copy !req
1061. and then disappear.
Copy !req
1062. I'll see you.
Copy !req
1063. Man. Great glutes.
Copy !req
1064. I don't care.
Copy !req
1065. I don't know
what you were thinking.
Copy !req
1066. That— that's expensive. Gotta go.
Copy !req
1067. What goes on in your head... No.
Copy !req
1068. Don't—... when you shop for yourself?
Copy !req
1069. Who decorates like this?
Copy !req
1070. Steve, come on. You should...
Copy !req
1071. "Introduction to business.
Copy !req
1072. Human relationships
in management.
Copy !req
1073. Description covers
the development
Copy !req
1074. of the human relationship
claim—"
Copy !req
1075. Ooh, here's one.
Copy !req
1076. "Business computer systems."
Copy !req
1077. That's a good one.
Copy !req
1078. Machines are Doug's thing.
I'm more of a people person.
Copy !req
1079. Steve, a businessman
Copy !req
1080. must have knowledge
of computers.
Copy !req
1081. Come on.
Copy !req
1082. Oh, here's another one.
Copy !req
1083. "Venture management."
Copy !req
1084. Gosh, Emily, school. I—
Copy !req
1085. I'll have to read. And homework.
Copy !req
1086. And the teacher
would always ask you,
Copy !req
1087. "Would you like to share that
with the rest of the class?"
Copy !req
1088. Don't upset me, Steve.
Copy !req
1089. Unless you want
to make me less horny.
Copy !req
1090. No. That wouldn't be good.
Copy !req
1091. Look, here's what we do.
Copy !req
1092. First we combine the stores,
okay?
Copy !req
1093. And then we can add
the furniture,
Copy !req
1094. you know?
Copy !req
1095. Recliners and, uh,
Copy !req
1096. sofa beds and, uh, end tables...
Copy !req
1097. and, uh... Chairs.
Copy !req
1098. Oh, yes, chairs.
Copy !req
1099. And, uh...
Copy !req
1100. Ottomans. Yes, ottomans.
Copy !req
1101. Ottomans. We're gonna be bigger
than IKEA:
Copy !req
1102. Home Depot. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1103. I— I— I—
Copy !req
1104. I— I— I— IKEA!
Copy !req
1105. Emily, I-
Copy !req
1106. I think we're moving
way too fast.
Copy !req
1107. You're— you're talking
like we're married.
Copy !req
1108. Oh, Steve.
Copy !req
1109. You just made me so happy.
Copy !req
1110. What? No, no, no.
I don't mean that.
Copy !req
1111. No. It's— it's just
that I don't—
Copy !req
1112. Okay.
Copy !req
1113. Well, if I'm not mistaken,
Copy !req
1114. This place has got it going on.
Copy !req
1115. Hah! I owe you big time
for inviting me.
Copy !req
1116. Who wants to dance,
huh?
Copy !req
1117. Huh? I call this one
the sprinkler.
Copy !req
1118. Hey. You think it would be okay
to wear this outfit
Copy !req
1119. to your brother's wedding?
Copy !req
1120. What?
Copy !req
1121. Your brother's wedding, man.
What are you gonna wear?
Copy !req
1122. Oh... ... God.
Copy !req
1123. Man, you've got to hand it
to Steve.
Copy !req
1124. That Emily
is the perfect woman.
Copy !req
1125. Gosh, strong legs,
Copy !req
1126. tight stomach,
a positive mental attitude.
Copy !req
1127. A woman like that
could really keep you on track.
Copy !req
1128. Shut up!
Copy !req
1129. Idiot.
Copy !req
1130. Doug, just because you
and your brother
Copy !req
1131. are having problems,
that's no reason to refer
Copy !req
1132. to my intellectual capacity
in a diminutive manner.
Copy !req
1133. I'm sorry, Craig. It's just...
Copy !req
1134. Can we not talk
about my brother for a second?
Copy !req
1135. Ten-four. Boundary set. Thank you.
Copy !req
1136. Wow! Ooh!
Copy !req
1137. I am having a hell of a time.
Whoo!
Copy !req
1138. This moment...
Copy !req
1139. I want to make a toast
Copy !req
1140. to Steve and Emily,
Copy !req
1141. Who, after tomorrow, will be
Mr. And Mrs. Steven Butabi.
Copy !req
1142. Emily Sanderson-Butabi. Whoever you become.
Copy !req
1143. Uh, I would also like
to thank everyone
Copy !req
1144. for flying in to join us.
Uh, especially my— my parents,
Copy !req
1145. who came in all the way
from Maine...
Copy !req
1146. Yes, yes. ... despite
Copy !req
1147. Mom's sciatica. Terr— terrific, sir.
Copy !req
1148. Yes, and of course, uh,
the Butabis,
Copy !req
1149. who came in all the way
from Yay-men.
Copy !req
1150. Yemen. And uh,
Copy !req
1151. that's not the only union.
Copy !req
1152. From what I understand,
Copy !req
1153. we got a new, uh,
lamp-plant store.
Copy !req
1154. Plant-lamp store.
Much better.
Copy !req
1155. Seriously, it sounds better.
Copy !req
1156. Um, Steve.
Copy !req
1157. Do you want to stand up
and make a toast?
Copy !req
1158. No. I'm all right.
Copy !req
1159. Steve, I think that you should
stand up and make a toast.
Copy !req
1160. All the men are making toasts.
I think you should make a toast.
Copy !req
1161. Uh...
Copy !req
1162. Okay, I— I just want to say,
uh, what's up?
Copy !req
1163. Grandma, grandpa, and...
Copy !req
1164. to the other two old people,
what's up?
Copy !req
1165. Yeah, you.
Copy !req
1166. Very nice, very nice. Thanks.
Copy !req
1167. I think, uh,
what Steve is trying to say
Copy !req
1168. is that we are just, uh,
thrilled with the way
Copy !req
1169. this family is coming together.
Copy !req
1170. And now, I would like to share
with you
Copy !req
1171. some of our business plans
for after the merger.
Copy !req
1172. I'm gonna get some more wine.
Copy !req
1173. Dad. Dad. Yes?
Copy !req
1174. Is— is there any way
we can cancel this whole thing?
Copy !req
1175. Yes.
Copy !req
1176. No.
Copy !req
1177. Uh...
that is so funny, but, Dad,
Copy !req
1178. it's like Emily turned out
Copy !req
1179. to be this whole different
other person.
Copy !req
1180. Let me explain something to you.
Copy !req
1181. The caterer has been paid.
Copy !req
1182. Your grandparents
have flown halfway
Copy !req
1183. around the world to get here.
Besides, all men are nervous
Copy !req
1184. the night
before their wedding, okay?
Copy !req
1185. Oh, you mean all guys
are nervous, and anxious,
Copy !req
1186. and kind of hope
she eats a can of botulism?
Copy !req
1187. Or— or maybe she could hang out
with a deer
Copy !req
1188. and a hunter
accidentally shoots her?
Copy !req
1189. Or— or you know,
when she's sleeping,
Copy !req
1190. she makes
that nose-whistle sound,
Copy !req
1191. and you— you shake her
to make her be quiet,
Copy !req
1192. but what you'd really
like to do
Copy !req
1193. is take
her stupid little red toothbrush
Copy !req
1194. and ram it up her nostril
into her skull!
Copy !req
1195. These are perfectly
normal feelings.
Copy !req
1196. Okay.
Copy !req
1197. Doug, you there? It's Steve.
Copy !req
1198. Hi. You've reached Doug Butabi.
Copy !req
1199. I'm not here right now
because I'm outside
Copy !req
1200. living it up,
unlike my pussy whipped brother
Copy !req
1201. who's too busy
throwing his life away
Copy !req
1202. for Emily.
Copy !req
1203. Beep.
Copy !req
1204. Doug, sorry I missed you. Um,
Copy !req
1205. uh, I guess I'm getting married,
Copy !req
1206. and, uh, I'm just wondering
Copy !req
1207. if you wanted to be my best man.
Copy !req
1208. Give me a call or page me.
Copy !req
1209. I'm in our room still,
across from the pool.
Copy !req
1210. See you.
Copy !req
1211. Yeah, let's go over this
one more time.
Copy !req
1212. Steve, I know my duty
as best man.
Copy !req
1213. Are you sure? I got it.
Copy !req
1214. I walk down the aisle,
I stand next to you,
Copy !req
1215. and I get to settle
any inter-wedding skirmishes.
Copy !req
1216. No, no, no, no.
You're the best man,
Copy !req
1217. not the wedding bouncer.
Copy !req
1218. You just gotta back me up.
Copy !req
1219. Oh.
Copy !req
1220. Like if things get too heavy,
I step in like a spotter.
Copy !req
1221. Yeah, right.
Copy !req
1222. Thanks, man. Hey. Okay, let's go.
Copy !req
1223. We're ready. Let's go. Come on,
come on, come on.
Copy !req
1224. So I mean,
do you want your kid blessed
Copy !req
1225. or not? It's up to you.
Copy !req
1226. Richard Grieco.
Copy !req
1227. How do you know Steve?
Copy !req
1228. I, uh, just don't want
to be sued.
Copy !req
1229. No. Look, listen to me, pal.
Copy !req
1230. You cannot get
your kid confirmed in this city
Copy !req
1231. for less than 150, all right.
Now, you want your kid blessed,
Copy !req
1232. you call me, okay? It's up
to you. I mean, know a...
Copy !req
1233. You know, Dad,
I've been thinking.
Copy !req
1234. I didn't really have time
to have a bachelor party.
Copy !req
1235. That's a pretty major part
of the wedding experience.
Copy !req
1236. So we may want to consider
delaying a couple hours,
Copy !req
1237. so we can go to a strip club
or something.
Copy !req
1238. Look, sorry. I gotta go.
Leave me a message.
Copy !req
1239. Hey. Hey.
Copy !req
1240. Steve, getting married.
You the man!
Copy !req
1241. Shut up, Craig. I'm walking
down the aisle, you dick.
Copy !req
1242. She wore white?
Copy !req
1243. Grandma,
get off the phone.
Copy !req
1244. Dearly beloved,
we're gathered here today
Copy !req
1245. to join together—Uh, Fa— Father. Did—
Copy !req
1246. did we already start? Yeah.
Copy !req
1247. Oh. Sorry. I thought
there was supposed
Copy !req
1248. to be a buzzer or a whistle
or something.
Copy !req
1249. To join together this man
and this woman
Copy !req
1250. in holy matrimony.
Copy !req
1251. Before we do that,
I understand
Copy !req
1252. the bride and groom
have each prepared something.
Copy !req
1253. "Dearest Steve,
Copy !req
1254. they say
if you set something free
Copy !req
1255. and it comes back,
you should love it forever.
Copy !req
1256. And, like one
of your silk plants,
Copy !req
1257. I will try to stay beautiful.
That is my endeavor.
Copy !req
1258. I know
Copy !req
1259. our lives together
will be great,
Copy !req
1260. just like when we saw
David Copperfield
Copy !req
1261. on our first date.
Copy !req
1262. Love, Emily."
Copy !req
1263. "Emily.
Copy !req
1264. I used to see you outside my
father's store,
Copy !req
1265. and then we went on some dates,
Copy !req
1266. and you let me have sex
with you."
Copy !req
1267. Hmm.
Copy !req
1268. Oh, I'm done.
Copy !req
1269. If there is anyone
Copy !req
1270. who has reason to believe
that this man or this woman
Copy !req
1271. should not be joined together
in holy matrimony,
Copy !req
1272. let them speak now
or forever hold their peace.
Copy !req
1273. What's up?
Copy !req
1274. From out of town?
Copy !req
1275. Steve, don't hit
on the bridesmaid.
Copy !req
1276. It's your wedding.
Copy !req
1277. You want to wait until
after the ceremony, please?
Copy !req
1278. Right.
Copy !req
1279. Steven, do you promise
to love Emily in sickness
Copy !req
1280. and health for as long
as you both shall live?
Copy !req
1281. My dad already paid the caterer.
Copy !req
1282. Emily, do you promise
to love Steven in sickness
Copy !req
1283. and health for as long
as you both shall live?
Copy !req
1284. I do. Oh.
Copy !req
1285. Steven, repeat after me. After me.
Copy !req
1286. With this ring, I thee wed.
Copy !req
1287. With this ring...
I thee wed.
Copy !req
1288. Now, Emily.
Copy !req
1289. With this ring—
Copy !req
1290. Doug.
Copy !req
1291. What the hell's he doing here?
What are you doing here?
Copy !req
1292. Make him stop. Emily, don't get upset.
Copy !req
1293. Turn that music off! Put a tie on and the music off.
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1294. You know what I paid
for this wedding?
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1295. Steve,
what are you doing?
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1296. Oh, don't do that
with your head. That is so dumb.
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1297. Why is he moving
his stupid head?
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1298. Mr. Butabi,
I— I— I can't—
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1299. I can't work—Keep going. Let's go.
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1300. You wanna get paid? You idiot! He's right.
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1301. You're out of the will!
That I can tell you!
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1302. This is my wedding! I told you he was a jerk
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1303. since day one. Emily, shh.
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1304. I told you. He's such a jerk.
I told you about that.
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1305. Emily, uh, I'm sorry.
I'm not ready yet.
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1306. Where's he going?
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1307. Steve, stop! Nice poem, though.
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1308. Sorry, Dad.
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1309. Steve, come back here!
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1310. Steve, don't you leave me. Everybody,
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1311. keep sitting. Steve, I'm not kidding.
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1312. Mr. Butabi. What?
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1313. As an actor, I'm a keen observer
of human nature,
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1314. and I can tell you
that your son is not ready
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1315. for this sort of commitment.
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1316. Hello.
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1317. Hey.
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1318. Oh, God. Go ahead, Father.
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1319. What? What are you doing?
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1320. Emily, with all due respect
to Steve,
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1321. his discipline is lacking,
as is his appreciation for you.
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1322. Now, I, on the other hand,
can bench press 305 pounds.
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1323. I squat a clean 525,
and my body fat percentage
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1324. is less than two percent. Good.
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1325. Now, not only am I
a professional trainer,
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1326. but I also hope to market
my own protein bar someday.
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1327. Plus,
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1328. I've always loved you. Oh.
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1329. Well...
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1330. okay, but we should look
into infomercials.
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1331. Okay.
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1332. Whoa, this is
a completely new fee. Cool?
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1333. Yeah. Yeah.
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1334. Okay.
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1335. Dearly beloved,
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1336. we're gathered here
again today...
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1337. Also, uh, I took, uh,
Craig clubbing.
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1338. It was all right.
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1339. Plus, I rented a lot of videos.
I didn't do much else.
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1340. Uh-huh.
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1341. Look, Steve.
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1342. I'm sorry.
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1343. I said a lot
of bad things before.
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1344. I've been thinking.
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1345. You're my brother, and...
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1346. we're brothers. You know,
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1347. when we're together...
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1348. I just...
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1349. You don't drag me down.
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1350. I drag me down.
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1351. And you...
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1352. you complete me.
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1353. Shh— shut up.
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1354. What?
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1355. Just shut up.
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1356. You had me at "hello."
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1357. And it seems to me...
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1358. you're just a little bit harder
on Doug
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1359. than you are on Steve. I mean—
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1360. I mean, isn't that true?
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1361. It's true, it's true. It's just
that Doug is always
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1362. so rebellious.
I— I can't control him.
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1363. Yeah, but...
rebellious,
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1364. scrappy, dreamer, I mean,
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1365. what other young man does
that remind you of, huh?
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1366. Uh.
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1367. Myself as a kid.
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1368. So who are you really fighting
with?
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1369. Richard Grieco...
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1370. you see right through me.
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1371. I missed this car.
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1372. I look good in it. Of course you do.
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1373. And, uh, you look good also.
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1374. Thanks.
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1375. I'm really glad you moved back
into the room.
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1376. Dad was pretty cool
about the wedding
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1377. once he had that chat
with Richard Grieco.
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1378. Yeah, and it really improved
your relationship with him.
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1379. Oh, my God.
Is that an outside nightclub?
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1380. No way. That's your idea. Pull over. Let's check it out.
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1381. Right.
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1382. No one gets in
unless they talk to the list.
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1383. We're on the list. Steve and Doug Butabi.
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1384. Butabi. Oh, step right in.
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1385. I'm sorry? Go right in.
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1386. Okay.
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1387. I guess we should go in then. Yeah.
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1388. Okay, we're gonna... We're gonna go in.
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1389. We're going in.
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1390. I can't believe we got in.
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1391. I know. I don't know
what that's about.
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1392. You sure it wasn't a mistake? I don't think so.
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1393. It's too weird to be a mistake. It's like they stole your idea.
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1394. I know. It's exact—
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1395. Butabis! I've been looking
all over for you. Come here!
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1396. Get over here!
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1397. Mr. Zadir. Mr. Zadir.
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1398. How do you like our club? Our club?
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1399. Of course. I cut you in.
It was your idea.
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1400. Sweet. Sweet ass sweet.
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1401. Uh, it's not all sweet asses.
Running a club is hard work.
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1402. Don't worry about it, Mr. Zadir.
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1403. Yeah. We're workaholics.
Copy !req
1404. Mr. Zadir, Dooey just called
from Pismo Beach.
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1405. He says there's no way
he could've grabbed your ass.
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1406. What is he up to now? I just told you.
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1407. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
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1408. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
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1409. Let's do some business. All right.
Copy !req
1410. Put a couple cherries in that. Nice call.
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1411. Hello, Mr. Butabi. Hey.
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1412. Mr. Butabi,
can you approve this?
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1413. Yes. That, uh, looks just fine.
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1414. Not bad. Good decision.
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1415. Hi, Mr. Bartabi. It's Butabi, but that's okay.
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1416. How's the hair? Good.
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1417. Successful-club-owner good? Absolutely.
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1418. How are these? Nice?
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1419. God, that voice sounds
so familiar.
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1420. Are you...
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1421. Doug?
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1422. Credit Vixen?
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1423. My God,
I can't believe this.
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1424. You're even more beautiful
than you sound.
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1425. You stopped calling. Well, not—
Copy !req
1426. not because I didn't want to.
I just—
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1427. Am I what you expected?
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1428. I totally approve.
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1429. Uh, you're not here with anyone?
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1430. Oh, just my friend.
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1431. Hottie police officer?
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1432. I was really looking forward
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1433. to meeting you
at municipal court
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1434. on or before June sixth.
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1435. So, uh, do you guys want to,
uh, dance?
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1436. No.
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1437. Yes. Yes.
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1438. Oh, I love this song. Me, too.
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1439. Actually, I'm getting
kind of sick of it.
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1440. I broke the window again.
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