1. Cindy, hi!Copy !req
2. You want me? Him? Me? Him?Copy !req
3. Me? Him? Him? Me? Me? Him? Him? Me?Copy !req
4. Not you!Copy !req
5. You all right? You good? You okay? You good?Copy !req
6. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
7. Hey!Copy !req
8. Hey.Copy !req
9. Hey.Copy !req
10. Fine. Good. All right.Copy !req
11. How you doing?Copy !req
12. All right, hey. Oh!Copy !req
13. Good. All right. What's up?Copy !req
14. Yeah, I'm good. How you doing? Feel good. All right.Copy !req
15. Yes! Score! Score!Copy !req
16. Very nice. That was very nice. Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
17. Nice job! Hey.Copy !req
18. All right. Let's go. No, stop. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
19. Whoa! Whoa! Right out this way.Copy !req
20. Right out this way. Hey! Come on!Copy !req
21. All right. Let's tackle
this little lady called night.Copy !req
22. Couldn't have said it
any better.Copy !req
23. I broke the window again.Copy !req
24. Dad's gonna be pissed.Copy !req
25. Don't worry about it.
I'll just tell him you did it.Copy !req
26. But I didn't do it.Copy !req
27. I know. Oh.Copy !req
28. I'm drivin'. Don't do that. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
29. Come on, get up,
you punk!Copy !req
30. Get off me!Copy !req
31. So, anyways, I'm standing there,
waiting to use the pay phone.Copy !req
32. Yeah, he was. Seriously.Copy !req
33. And this guy
who's on the phone turns aroundCopy !req
34. and tips his hat like this.Copy !req
35. And who do you think
that guy was?Copy !req
36. Emilio Estevez!Copy !req
37. The Mighty Duckman!
Swear to God! I was there!Copy !req
38. Of course you were.
You were the oneCopy !req
39. that yelled
the Breakfast Cubber's name.Copy !req
40. I was like, "Emilio!"Copy !req
41. Whoo. Whoo.Copy !req
42. So, anyways...Copy !req
43. you guys want to make out
or what?Copy !req
44. Oh, man!Copy !req
45. Oh, shoot! It was perfect that time.Copy !req
46. I know. I know. Four months of workCopy !req
47. for nothing.Copy !req
48. What's up?Copy !req
49. Did you know you were doing 50?Copy !req
50. Hottie cop likes you. You serious?Copy !req
51. You think
she pulls over just anybody?Copy !req
52. Make a move.Copy !req
53. What's up? Not much.Copy !req
54. Just giving you
an 80 dollar ticket.Copy !req
55. She is so into you.Copy !req
56. I want you to do me a favor. Whatever you say, T. J. Hooker.Copy !req
57. Um...Copy !req
58. Please obey
all posted speed limits.Copy !req
59. Have a good night.Copy !req
60. It's already been good,
now that you've servedCopy !req
61. and protected me.Copy !req
62. Way to go, my friend!Copy !req
63. You got her badge number,
plus a month from nowCopy !req
64. you got a date to meet her
at the Municipal State Court.Copy !req
65. Up top! Yeah!Copy !req
66. Very nice! Oh!Copy !req
67. What was the point of that? Sorry.Copy !req
68. Come next week,
I'mma take care of it.Copy !req
69. All right, man. Whoa.Copy !req
70. This is the Roxbury.Copy !req
71. No one gets in unless
you're on the list.Copy !req
72. We're on the list. Yeah.Copy !req
73. Names? Doug Butabi.Copy !req
74. Steve Butabi. You're brothers?Copy !req
75. No.Copy !req
76. Yes! Oh, man! Yes! Oh, man!Copy !req
77. That's quite a joke.Copy !req
78. Doug is hilarious. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
79. Check this out.
You ever heard of this one?Copy !req
80. You're not on the list,
so feel free to get in line.Copy !req
81. Right. Well—Copy !req
82. Is that... It is.Copy !req
83. The king o 21 Jump Street.Copy !req
84. Richard Grieco. Richard Grieco.Copy !req
85. Whoa. Excuse me.Copy !req
86. We see you later, Grieco. Later, Richard!Copy !req
87. We're gonna go wait in line. Maybe we'll hang out later?Copy !req
88. There's no chance
of that happening.Copy !req
89. Sounds good.Copy !req
90. You know what was wrong
with this place?Copy !req
91. It's tough to say,
considering we didn't get in.Copy !req
92. Exactly. They don't know
how to properly evaluateCopy !req
93. the incoming clientele.Copy !req
94. I thought
we just didn't look cool enough.Copy !req
95. Come on. You?Copy !req
96. You are a beautiful man.Copy !req
97. You know what we're gonna do
when we get our own club?Copy !req
98. Get in? Yeah,Copy !req
99. but we're also gonna treat
all the outside wannabesCopy !req
100. just as well as any legendary
television star.Copy !req
101. That's pretty Roosevelt of you. That's just what I believe in.Copy !req
102. Wanna, uh, dance?Copy !req
103. We're not in the club yet. Right.Copy !req
104. So, maybe when we get in.Copy !req
105. So, I'm standing there waiting
to use the pay phoneCopy !req
106. and this guy who's on the phone
turns aroundCopy !req
107. and tips his hat like this.Copy !req
108. And who do you think
that guy was?Copy !req
109. Emilio Estevez!Copy !req
110. The Mighty Duck man!
I swear to God!Copy !req
111. I was like, "Emilio!"Copy !req
112. "Emilio!"Copy !req
113. "Emilio!Copy !req
114. The club is closed, folks.Copy !req
115. Aw. Sorry.Copy !req
116. Whoa. Oh!Copy !req
117. Nozzled you, my friend. Totally got me.Copy !req
118. That was in my nose.Copy !req
119. Mm.Copy !req
120. You're an idiot.Copy !req
121. Oh, yeah? You like it. Stop it.Copy !req
122. Why would I like that? You know you do.Copy !req
123. Get off. No wait. You butt.Copy !req
124. Knock it off!Copy !req
125. Where's Mom...Copy !req
126. and who's this gorgeous
young hottie in the kitchen?Copy !req
127. Yeah. And why is she wearing
Mom's bathrobe?Copy !req
128. What do you think
of my new chin?Copy !req
129. Is it better than last year's?Copy !req
130. Captain, Tennille,
behave yourselves!Copy !req
131. Ah, look who's gracing us
with their presence.Copy !req
132. Who? Here, Dad.Copy !req
133. What is this garbage? A health shake.Copy !req
134. It helps me balance my insulin
and hormone levelsCopy !req
135. so I can hit my physical peak. Barbara,Copy !req
136. hurry. Get the video camera.
He's gonna hit his peak.Copy !req
137. Honey, if you're gonna hit
your peak, do it in your room.Copy !req
138. Oh, Mom, you're hilarious. That's so funny.Copy !req
139. Steve,Copy !req
140. in the store in a half hour.Copy !req
141. Okay? And wear something nice.
Emily's back from school.Copy !req
142. Hey, Dad, I think
you're confusing SteveCopy !req
143. for someone who gives
a flying rat's ass.Copy !req
144. Flying rat's ass?Copy !req
145. That'd be wild to see.Copy !req
146. Steve, at the store
in a half hour.Copy !req
147. And bring your dancing
monkey brother with you.Copy !req
148. Hey, you from out
of town?Copy !req
149. How you doin', princess?Copy !req
150. You've a local number? Oh, you be my lady—Copy !req
151. You all right? Yeah.Copy !req
152. Sure?Copy !req
153. Finally! An hour
and a half late. Very good.Copy !req
154. Steve, go dust the roses.Copy !req
155. You, idiot boy,
go cover the cash register.Copy !req
156. Idiot boy,Copy !req
157. go cover the cash register.Copy !req
158. Hi.Copy !req
159. How are you, uh, you paying
for these?Copy !req
160. Is this, uh, cash, check,
or charge?Copy !req
161. Charge. Okay.Copy !req
162. Is this a Visa, Mastercard?Copy !req
163. Move your thumb.Copy !req
164. Good one. Okay.Copy !req
165. Are you sure this is your card?
'Cause it's not processing.Copy !req
166. It's my card.Copy !req
167. Okay, I'm gonna have
to call it in.Copy !req
168. Operator 238, please.Copy !req
169. Authorization. Card number?
What's up?Copy !req
170. Doug, I told you not
to call here anymore.Copy !req
171. I gotta get an approval.Copy !req
172. Well, I gotta get
a card number.Copy !req
173. Not the card, sweetness. Me.Copy !req
174. Oh, shut up and swipe it.Copy !req
175. I can go for that.Copy !req
176. Do you like that?Copy !req
177. Does that feel good?Copy !req
178. 'Cause I could swipe it
all night.Copy !req
179. Okay, the card's fine.
Good-bye, Doug.Copy !req
180. Bye, 238.Copy !req
181. Hi.Copy !req
182. Can I help you?Copy !req
183. Hi, Doug.Copy !req
184. Your nightclub is so cool.Copy !req
185. Can my supermodel friends
come in and dance?Copy !req
186. You're so funny and cuteCopy !req
187. and tall. Hey, let's shake it.Copy !req
188. I don't see—
Shut up. Let's shake it!Copy !req
189. Come on. What are you doing?Copy !req
190. Not much. It's not enoughCopy !req
191. you have to go
to stupid clubs every night.Copy !req
192. You have to come here,
cut up my plantsCopy !req
193. and make toys of them! It's not a toy.Copy !req
194. It's a club with a jungle theme.Copy !req
195. You're a jungle theme.Copy !req
196. Go find your brother
and load the trucks.Copy !req
197. Idiot! Useless!Copy !req
198. Steve! Steve!Copy !req
199. Hi, Steve. Hey, Doug. Hey, Emily.Copy !req
200. Hi. Whatever.Copy !req
201. So, I guess you're back
from school.Copy !req
202. Working for your dad again
at the lamp store?Copy !req
203. Yeah. I missed you.Copy !req
204. Remember before I went
to school you saidCopy !req
205. when I get back form school
that we could get together?Copy !req
206. And I kept thinking about it.Copy !req
207. And thank God
there's no one else,Copy !req
208. so we can get together.Copy !req
209. So, do you want to go see
a movie or something?Copy !req
210. Sure.Copy !req
211. Or if you don't wanna do that,Copy !req
212. we could just take
a drive around and make out.Copy !req
213. I love making out.Copy !req
214. It's like one of my all time... Yeah.Copy !req
215. favorite things to do
in the whole wide world.Copy !req
216. Yeah. And I don't mean to brag,Copy !req
217. but I'm really, really,
really, really good at it.Copy !req
218. Right. Sounds good.Copy !req
219. Back off, Chicklett. What is your problem, Doug?Copy !req
220. Emily, I don't know
if you know this,Copy !req
221. but my brother and I,
we live life in the fast lane.Copy !req
222. And that means no stop signs,
no red lights,Copy !req
223. and there's no pulling over
to take pictures.Copy !req
224. Now, you see this man over here?Copy !req
225. What's up? He's my co-pilotCopy !req
226. on this magic carpet ride.Copy !req
227. He's carry-on only,Copy !req
228. and you're just way
too much luggage.Copy !req
229. Shut up, Doug.Copy !req
230. Hey, move, move,
move, move, move.Copy !req
231. Hey, man! Emily.Copy !req
232. I see you've picked
the right son.Copy !req
233. Hi, Mr. Butabi. You know, Steve here,Copy !req
234. he likes you very much.Copy !req
235. Dad, come on!Copy !req
236. Hey, Mr. Butabi! Hey, Mr. Sanderson!Copy !req
237. Mr. Butabi, is, uh,Copy !req
238. Steve asking Emily
to marry him again?Copy !req
239. You know something,
after they're married,Copy !req
240. if they have enough children,Copy !req
241. we won't have to hire
any more salesmen.Copy !req
242. Oh, Kamehl, you kill me. No, Mr. S, you kill me.Copy !req
243. Mr. Sanderson. Dad.Copy !req
244. What? Can you pleaseCopy !req
245. just leave Steve alone? Why? He likes the girl.Copy !req
246. No, he does not. No, I don't.Copy !req
247. Yes, you do,Copy !req
248. And, Doug, you see this wall?Copy !req
249. After they get married,
we're gonna knock it down,Copy !req
250. combine stores, and have
the first plant-lamp shop.Copy !req
251. And Steve and Emily
are gonna run it.Copy !req
252. And it's up to them if they want
to keep you aroundCopy !req
253. to clean the toilets.Copy !req
254. Are you seeing planes?Copy !req
255. Is your name tattoo?
Because I swear to GodCopy !req
256. you're living on Fantasy Island.Copy !req
257. God, that was a sweet show. Yeah, it was...Copy !req
258. Yes, I have a fantasy.Copy !req
259. That I have two capable sons!Copy !req
260. Not one with his head up
in the cloudsCopy !req
261. and the other
with his head up his ass!Copy !req
262. And look how you load trucks.
Is this how you do it?Copy !req
263. Disgusting! I'm sick and tired
of both of you.Copy !req
264. Get the hell out of here.Copy !req
265. So we're on a break?Copy !req
266. Yeah, I guess.Copy !req
267. You wanna crunch it?Copy !req
268. Sure.Copy !req
269. Let's crunch.Copy !req
270. Can the rest of us
use the mirror? That's great.Copy !req
271. Thanks a lot. We appreciate it.Copy !req
272. Everybody's got
an attitude here.Copy !req
273. Gentlemen! Craig!Copy !req
274. Lookin' large.Copy !req
275. Hey, you want the rest
of my power bar?Copy !req
276. No. I got a Nitro Bar. How about an energy bar?Copy !req
277. No. I got
a muscle triplicator bar.Copy !req
278. Okay. Well, supplements aside,
let me ask you something.Copy !req
279. How long we've been friends?Copy !req
280. All seven years of high school. Yeah, at least.Copy !req
281. That's why I gotta be real
with you right now.Copy !req
282. And I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.Copy !req
283. Look, as a professional trainer,
guys,Copy !req
284. I'm a little worried
about your triceps.Copy !req
285. Well, you guys aren't going
all the way down.Copy !req
286. It's called full extension,
and I'm not seeing it.Copy !req
287. Craig, you're right.
we actually had a long talkCopy !req
288. about that the other night. Long talk.Copy !req
289. I just don't want you
to cheat yourselves.Copy !req
290. You know, I'm sorry to come down
on you like this, but...Copy !req
291. in a weird way,
it's my job.Copy !req
292. Hey, that's why we love you
and we hate you.Copy !req
293. Still friends? You know it.Copy !req
294. Well, I'm glad
we had this talk.Copy !req
295. Oh!Copy !req
296. Guns! Yeah!Copy !req
297. I was telling Dad
About this great ideaCopy !req
298. I had for the store. And—Store?Copy !req
299. You're sitting around,
thinking about the store, Steve?Copy !req
300. You're supposed
to be thinking about—Copy !req
301. Hey, what's up? How you doing?Copy !req
302. Can we call you
sometimes, Pocahontas?Copy !req
303. You got a number?
Want some of this?Copy !req
304. How about a little
of that?Copy !req
305. All right. You're supposedCopy !req
306. to be thinking about our future.Copy !req
307. We— Why are you
Mount St. Helensing on me?Copy !req
308. Well, why are you forgetting
about our plans?Copy !req
309. What plans? The plans about you and ICopy !req
310. opening up only the coolest club
in town all of the Roxbury.Copy !req
311. Doug, how are we gonna open up
a club like that,Copy !req
312. when we can't even get in?Copy !req
313. That's because we're letting
them not let us in.Copy !req
314. But you know what? That is it!
No more!Copy !req
315. It is time we stepped up
into that sweet ass world,Copy !req
316. and from now on, the only club
we're going to is the Roxbury.Copy !req
317. But how are we gonna get in? No, but nothing.Copy !req
318. We can't—No, we can and we will,Copy !req
319. and do you know why? We're good-looking?Copy !req
320. We're very good-looking.
You especially.Copy !req
321. Thanks. Now, repeat after me.Copy !req
322. We can get into the Roxbury.Copy !req
323. We can get into the Roxbury.Copy !req
324. Roxbury. Roxbury.Copy !req
325. Roxbury! Roxbury!Copy !req
326. Roxbury! Roxbury!Copy !req
327. Roxbury! Rox—Roxbury! Rox—Copy !req
328. Hey, what's goin' on? Hey, what's up?Copy !req
329. You guys up for some of this? How you doin'?Copy !req
330. How about a little
of that?Copy !req
331. She bends down, she starts
to smell them.Copy !req
332. Hmm. Oh.Copy !req
333. She thought
they were real plants.Copy !req
334. No! You know, we're not,Copy !req
335. I wouldn't kid you
about something like that.Copy !req
336. Are you kidding me? Hello?Copy !req
337. Hey. What's up?Copy !req
338. The Sandersons are here
to see your mother's new chin.Copy !req
339. Get dressed and come join us. Okay.Copy !req
340. Sorry, Dad.
We're a little busy tonight.Copy !req
341. Nice to see you folks. Later.Copy !req
342. Steve! I'll be right back.
Steve!Copy !req
343. Steve! I like your bathing suit.Copy !req
344. It looks really good on you
'cause you haveCopy !req
345. really good, um,
muscle definition.Copy !req
346. Uh-huh. Most of the American menCopy !req
347. that I know don't wear
such revealing bathing suits.Copy !req
348. Uh-huh. It's very European of you.Copy !req
349. Huh. It's really, really sexy.Copy !req
350. And I don't mean to brag,
but I have really good tasteCopy !req
351. in what's sexy. Thanks, Emily.Copy !req
352. Steve!Copy !req
353. I mean, whatever, Emily.Copy !req
354. Good.Copy !req
355. What's up? What's going on?Copy !req
356. What's going on?Copy !req
357. Hey, you from out of town?
Hey, you from out of town?Copy !req
358. You from out of town?
Yeah.Copy !req
359. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
360. Yeah.Copy !req
361. Wait.Copy !req
362. Hey. Oh.Copy !req
363. All right, yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
364. When I tell you
to do something, I mean it.Copy !req
365. What's this business
coming in half-nakedCopy !req
366. when we have company?Copy !req
367. Put some clothes on
and come downstairs immediately.Copy !req
368. Ain't on our things-to-do list,
daddy-o.Copy !req
369. Steve and I have
something extremely importantCopy !req
370. to do tonight. Yes, you do.Copy !req
371. To get downstairs immediately. I don't want to!Copy !req
372. Would you please explain to meCopy !req
373. what I have to do to get through
to this individual?Copy !req
374. Dad, it— it's like this.
Doug is like a fax machine.Copy !req
375. Okay?
You keep putting things in,Copy !req
376. but if you don't have
a cover page,Copy !req
377. people don't know
where it's coming from.Copy !req
378. And sometimes
you get a busy signal.Copy !req
379. And that's why you got
a memory buttonCopy !req
380. and a redial button.Copy !req
381. Actually, I never use it.
I always screw it up.Copy !req
382. I don't know, what—Don't bother explaining itCopy !req
383. to him. He'll never understand. No, you're wrong.Copy !req
384. I do understand very well.Copy !req
385. You're going to a big, new,Copy !req
386. hot club tonight.
Isn't that what it is?Copy !req
387. Yeah. That's right. Yes. Exactly.Copy !req
388. What I don't understand
is how you're gonna get there.Copy !req
389. What are you doing? What are you doing?Copy !req
390. God!Copy !req
391. Oh! Oh, sh— man!Copy !req
392. You can take away our phones
and you can take away our keys,Copy !req
393. but you cannot take away
our dreams!Copy !req
394. That's right! 'Cause we're like
sleeping when we have them.Copy !req
395. Later much!Copy !req
396. Boys! Boys, wait!Copy !req
397. I don't like you leaving
without a phone.Copy !req
398. Just in case something happens.Copy !req
399. Mom, how old are these?
These are embarrassing.Copy !req
400. Well, you know,
in case of emergency.Copy !req
401. Have fun. Mom get lipstick on me?Copy !req
402. Yeah. But it looks like
you were making out.Copy !req
403. Sweet.Copy !req
404. How's my hair? Good.Copy !req
405. Roxbury good?Copy !req
406. You know it. Okay.Copy !req
407. I gotta tell you something,
Steve. Tonight,Copy !req
408. I can taste it.Copy !req
409. I can't taste it, Doug, I can't!Copy !req
410. I'm so scared right now,
I don't know what to do!Copy !req
411. Okay, you're mad-cowing on me.
All right. You have to relax.Copy !req
412. I'm nervous.Copy !req
413. I mean, we put all this pressure
on ourselvesCopy !req
414. to get into the Roxbury,
and I don't knowCopy !req
415. if we can deliver.Copy !req
416. You have to take control
of yourself, okay?Copy !req
417. No, you gotta take control!
I'm barely hanging on here!Copy !req
418. Oh, Steve.Copy !req
419. Shh. Shh. Come on, relax. Shh.Copy !req
420. Think puppies and candy canes,
all right?Copy !req
421. Shh. Okay. Shh. Hey, hot lady, what's goin' on?Copy !req
422. All right, we'll clean up later.
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
423. Take it easy.Copy !req
424. Doug, I see
your Roxbury balloon,Copy !req
425. and I hate to be the one
to burst it...Copy !req
426. but we don't even have
our own car,Copy !req
427. and I don't think
our name's on that list.Copy !req
428. Perfect. Rites of passage.Copy !req
429. Remember that television show
about Africa?Copy !req
430. They sent the boy
into the jungleCopy !req
431. with nothing but a spear
to hunt the lion.Copy !req
432. This van is our spear,
and that Roxbury is our lion.Copy !req
433. Does the bouncer know
about this?Copy !req
434. He's about to find out.Copy !req
435. Ladies, you're all right.
See you next week.Copy !req
436. My good hombre. Remember us?Copy !req
437. No. Doug and Steve Butabi.Copy !req
438. You're brothers? No.Copy !req
439. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
440. Man, works every time. I know.Copy !req
441. Now I remember.
You can't come in.Copy !req
442. What's up, Rocky?Copy !req
443. How you doin' tonight? Hmm. All right.Copy !req
444. It's time to play
a little softball.Copy !req
445. Hey, good man,
how's it goin' tonight?Copy !req
446. Good. You still can't come in.Copy !req
447. Well, that's not what a friend
of mine told me.Copy !req
448. Maybe you know him.
His name is Abraham.Copy !req
449. You don't know him.Copy !req
450. What about his two friends?
George Washington,Copy !req
451. and George Washington.Copy !req
452. Let's not forget the other boy
in the band...Copy !req
453. George Washington.Copy !req
454. He's a little lonely.
Wants to join his buddies.Copy !req
455. And look who else we got.
Roosevelt,Copy !req
456. Roosevelt, and Jefferson.Copy !req
457. That's... great.Copy !req
458. That's not an ATM. That's where
you drop off videos.Copy !req
459. Hello! That's it!Copy !req
460. That was a card store. Here's one!Copy !req
461. No, that's just weight watchers.Copy !req
462. ATM! That's it! No, that's—Copy !req
463. Shit. The car!Copy !req
464. The car? What about me?Copy !req
465. No, this car is a racing car.
It's illegal.Copy !req
466. All I need is a police report.Copy !req
467. You all right? Yeah. Let me see.Copy !req
468. Oh. Oh, great.Copy !req
469. They're starting
with the neck injuries.Copy !req
470. I'm screwed. I'm really screwed.Copy !req
471. Jeez. Man,Copy !req
472. I'm a mess. What happened?Copy !req
473. Hey, sorry about your van.Copy !req
474. No way! Richard Grieco! Yeah.Copy !req
475. Remember we saw you last night
at the Roxbury?Copy !req
476. Yeah, we were outside.Copy !req
477. Right. Right. So, uh,
what do you want to do?Copy !req
478. Well, we were just gonna go
to the Roxbury again.Copy !req
479. But we couldn't get in.Copy !req
480. Well, hey, guys, do you want me
to get you into the Roxbury?Copy !req
481. Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
482. Great. Follow me.Copy !req
483. This is amazing. See? It all comes from within.Copy !req
484. And he felt it
because he's an actorCopy !req
485. and very sensitive. Right.Copy !req
486. We gotta make a stop
at the Roxbury.Copy !req
487. What about the party?Copy !req
488. I just don't want a lawsuit,
okay?Copy !req
489. Oh, my God, Doug.Copy !req
490. This is the most amazing place
I've ever been.Copy !req
491. Guys, guys,
this is the coat room.Copy !req
492. The club's in here.Copy !req
493. What's up? How you doing? What's up?Copy !req
494. What's up? What's up? Yeah.Copy !req
495. What's up? What's up? Oh! All right.Copy !req
496. What's up? What's up?
What's up? What's up?Copy !req
497. What's up? What's up? Hey, Steve,Copy !req
498. get a hold of yourself,
all right?Copy !req
499. I'm sorry. It's hottie overload
in here.Copy !req
500. I know. Just pace yourself. What's up?Copy !req
501. Two, three, four. What's up?Copy !req
502. Two, three, four. What's up?Copy !req
503. Four...Copy !req
504. Sweet. Sweet.Copy !req
505. Richard, my man,
good to see you! Get over here!Copy !req
506. Benny.
The place is kicking.Copy !req
507. Actually, it's jumping like
21 Jump Street, right?Copy !req
508. Who are your friends? Oh, uh, guys,Copy !req
509. this is Mr. Zadir.
He owns the place.Copy !req
510. Uh, these are, uh—Doug Butabi.Copy !req
511. Steve Butabi. You look like good boys.Copy !req
512. Come to my VIP table.Copy !req
513. Doug, the owner! This is the man we want to be.Copy !req
514. I thought we wanted
to be like Grieco.Copy !req
515. Though appearance
and automotive wise,Copy !req
516. it's Grieco, but professionally,
it's this guy.Copy !req
517. Got it.Copy !req
518. Dooey, my main man.Copy !req
519. I love this man.Copy !req
520. I want you to meet
the Butabi brothers.Copy !req
521. These are good boys. Hey.Copy !req
522. Who grabbed my ass?
Did you grab my ass?Copy !req
523. No, sir, I did not grab
your ass.Copy !req
524. It's okay if you did.Copy !req
525. I understand.Copy !req
526. Just that you're barking up
the wrong tree.Copy !req
527. So, you guys come here a lot?Copy !req
528. Yeah. All the time. But we've never been inside.Copy !req
529. Steve,
watch what you're saying.Copy !req
530. So is Johnny Depp
meeting you here or what?Copy !req
531. No.Copy !req
532. All right. Um, listen, Benny,Copy !req
533. we'll see you later. Hey. Okay.Copy !req
534. All right. See you, guys. See you, Richard Grieco.Copy !req
535. See ya, Grieco's lady.Copy !req
536. Sir, I just wanna say
that it is an honorCopy !req
537. to shoot the shit with the owner
of the clubCopy !req
538. of all clubs. Ah.Copy !req
539. Yeah, and we're pretty
proficient club-hoppers,Copy !req
540. so we know
what we're talking about.Copy !req
541. But we usually go to this place
called the Mudd Club,Copy !req
542. and that place is rank.Copy !req
543. They'll let any ass-wad
in the door.Copy !req
544. I own that place also.Copy !req
545. It's a really good location. Aa— and the drinksCopy !req
546. are reasonably priced. No, no, no. You boys are right.Copy !req
547. That's what's wrong
with the club business today.Copy !req
548. One day you're hot, the next day
you're not. Ah, poof.Copy !req
549. Tell him.Copy !req
550. Well, actually, I, uh, if I mayCopy !req
551. had an idea for a club. Wait.Copy !req
552. Did you grab my ass?Copy !req
553. No. Do you want to?Copy !req
554. No.Copy !req
555. Sh— sh— should I?Copy !req
556. Okay. Continue.Copy !req
557. Yeah. Well, you know how people,Copy !req
558. when they're waiting outside
of a club and they're bummedCopy !req
559. 'cause they're trying to get in?Copy !req
560. This is great. This is great.Copy !req
561. Well, what if the outside
of the clubCopy !req
562. looked like the inside?Copy !req
563. You know, they had couches
and musicCopy !req
564. and all that stuff going on.Copy !req
565. But then on the inside... This is the best part.Copy !req
566. it looks like the street.
You know, cars and street signs.Copy !req
567. So basically,
the outside is the inside,Copy !req
568. and the inside is the outside. Doesn't that blow your mind?Copy !req
569. What about that guy? Owns a restaurant.Copy !req
570. How many? One.Copy !req
571. Boy, has this place
gone downhill.Copy !req
572. Look, I don't see anything
over six figures.Copy !req
573. Let's just get out of here. Wait a minute.Copy !req
574. That's that Zadir guy.Copy !req
575. Who are those guys
with him?Copy !req
576. I don't know,
but if they're with Zadir,Copy !req
577. They have got
to be worth something.Copy !req
578. Great. Let's work.Copy !req
579. Tell him about the vampire idea.
That's good.Copy !req
580. I can't tell him about
that idea.Copy !req
581. That's a good idea. It's a dumb idea.Copy !req
582. Wait! I have to say hello
to Jim Carrey.Copy !req
583. Jim! Come here,
you pet-detective bastard!Copy !req
584. Smokin'! You crazy son
of a bitch!Copy !req
585. Was I too pushy? No.Copy !req
586. I was too pushy.Copy !req
587. Did I speak well? You were totally articulate.Copy !req
588. It's really hardCopy !req
589. to pitch in a nightclub. I know, I know.Copy !req
590. I mean, did you ever notice
the music is way too loudCopy !req
591. in here. Yeah.Copy !req
592. We have to get a meeting.Copy !req
593. Steve, will you—Copy !req
594. What's up? You wanna dance? Yes.Copy !req
595. All right. Take it easy.Copy !req
596. Steve, she said, "Yes."What?Copy !req
597. Hotties wanna shake it.
Come on.Copy !req
598. Uh, no...Copy !req
599. That's some good ass-grabbing
going on there.Copy !req
600. Wow, 1980. Good year.Copy !req
601. Nineteen-eighty
was an excellent year.Copy !req
602. Devo had a huge hit that year.Copy !req
603. Yeah, and Joanie Loves Chachi
started that year.Copy !req
604. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joanie Loves Chachi,Copy !req
605. but does Chachi give
a flying fuck about Joanie?Copy !req
606. Cambi makes
a good point.Copy !req
607. But tonight, we have some fun,Copy !req
608. not dwell on Scott Baio.Copy !req
609. Sweet suds, Mr. Zadir. Champagne is good and all,Copy !req
610. but you know
what really makes a party?Copy !req
611. Fluffy whip.Copy !req
612. Yeah, but not when you put it
on stuff.Copy !req
613. When you— when you press
the little white nozzle,Copy !req
614. before anything comes out,
you suck on it.Copy !req
615. It's really fun.Copy !req
616. You mean like nitrous oxide?
Whippets?Copy !req
617. No! No! Cha.Copy !req
618. What is that? Dooey,Copy !req
619. we have to stop and get
some fluffy whip for the party.Copy !req
620. Yes, sir.Copy !req
621. But it has to be fluffy whip
in a can!Copy !req
622. He can't hear you.Copy !req
623. Hey, Dooey,Copy !req
624. tell your mom that I had
a nice time last night!Copy !req
625. And your dad!Copy !req
626. What?Copy !req
627. I mean, your sister!Copy !req
628. Good one, man! So tight! Yeah!Copy !req
629. Only in a limo. We nailed him.Copy !req
630. Disco dicks.Copy !req
631. And that alienCopy !req
632. was Robin Williams. Yes, I remember.Copy !req
633. I'll be right back.Copy !req
634. It's my boss' card.
You can take it.Copy !req
635. He's— he's right outside. I'll take care of that.Copy !req
636. Operator 238, please.Copy !req
637. What's up? Hello, Doug.Copy !req
638. Guess where we went tonight.Copy !req
639. Well, let me see...Copy !req
640. the one-stop market on Ventura?Copy !req
641. Huh, no! I mean before that,
you sly little Credit Vixen.Copy !req
642. Well, I give up,
you nasty little card swiper.Copy !req
643. The Roxbury with Richard Grieco.
You gotta come out sometime.Copy !req
644. Well, I would, but then,
you know, there'd be no one hereCopy !req
645. to approve all the money
you spend.Copy !req
646. You're always thinking of me.Copy !req
647. Well, the card's good.Copy !req
648. Bye, Doug.Copy !req
649. She approved. Aboo.Copy !req
650. Sweet ass dwelling,
Mr. Zadir.Copy !req
651. Look at this.Copy !req
652. Bought a hundred thousand
dollars sound system,Copy !req
653. and nobody's dancing!Copy !req
654. Well, if I may to, uh, congest,
the pool here is taking upCopy !req
655. all the prime dancing
real estate.Copy !req
656. Yeah, if you would've put
a big piece of glassCopy !req
657. over the pool, you could use it
as a dance floor.Copy !req
658. And that would be sweet,Copy !req
659. because it would be like dancing
on water,Copy !req
660. and people love to do that.Copy !req
661. Boys, boys,
let's not talk business now.Copy !req
662. Let's set up a meeting, huh?Copy !req
663. Hey, Anna Nicole!
Put something on!Copy !req
664. You're making us sick.Copy !req
665. Meeting! Meeting!Copy !req
666. Let's mingle.Copy !req
667. Right.Copy !req
668. This Italian food tastes
so good.Copy !req
669. It's like Mexican. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
670. Could you pass me
a towel, please?Copy !req
671. Good. How are you? About eight o' clock, 8:15.Copy !req
672. They're right
behind you.Copy !req
673. Yeah, all the time. BMW.Copy !req
674. Right off sunset. Vanilla mostly.Copy !req
675. There you are.Copy !req
676. We got scared.Copy !req
677. Of who? We'll kick his ass! Yeah!Copy !req
678. No. We got scared
somebody stole you away from us.Copy !req
679. Oh.Copy !req
680. Oh! Okay.Copy !req
681. Like some other girls
would steal us away.Copy !req
682. Oh. Right.Copy !req
683. Oh!Copy !req
684. So, do you guys wanna go
someplace we can be alone?Copy !req
685. No.Copy !req
686. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
687. Oh, man! Oh, God!Copy !req
688. So sweet. Like candy.Copy !req
689. Why does it taste
so sweet?Copy !req
690. 'Cause it's like candy,
I said.Copy !req
691. These are real. .
They'll be dead in a week.Copy !req
692. Oh!Copy !req
693. You know what I always thoughtCopy !req
694. would make a cool
"Twilight Zone"?Copy !req
695. Huh? Like, we look at this,Copy !req
696. and we see a picture
of this lady.Copy !req
697. But to this lady,
are we just a picture of us?Copy !req
698. Did you ever think of that?Copy !req
699. No.Copy !req
700. Why don't you, uh...Copy !req
701. come over here?Copy !req
702. Vivica, you know what I heard
when I first met you?Copy !req
703. What?Copy !req
704. What are you doing?Copy !req
705. That's an ambulance
coming to take me away,Copy !req
706. 'cause the sight of you
stopped my heart.Copy !req
707. Cambi...Copy !req
708. do you like blueberries
or strawberries?Copy !req
709. Why?Copy !req
710. 'Cause I wanna know
what kind of pancakesCopy !req
711. to order you in the morning.Copy !req
712. I was wondering if, uh...Copy !req
713. What are you doing? Checking your label.Copy !req
714. Just as I thought.
Made in heaven.Copy !req
715. Uh, Doug, you've gotten past
the opening lines.Copy !req
716. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
717. Is that a mirror in your pocket?Copy !req
718. What?Copy !req
719. 'Cause I can see myself
in your pants.Copy !req
720. Hey, Doug,Copy !req
721. if I said you had a nice body,
would you hold it against me?Copy !req
722. What?Copy !req
723. I was there. I was like,
"Emilio!"Copy !req
724. And Doug was going cra-Copy !req
725. Ugh. What are you— No.Copy !req
726. And Steve was like, "Emilio!"Copy !req
727. Oh, God, if you were only there.Copy !req
728. You know,
I feel like a selfish pig...Copy !req
729. just going on and onCopy !req
730. about myself. What about you?Copy !req
731. Where you from?
Any brothers or sisters?Copy !req
732. You have any family? Uh, pets.
What about pets?Copy !req
733. I got a cat.Copy !req
734. Really? A cat. Interesting.Copy !req
735. I think of you more
as a dog person.Copy !req
736. That's funny.Copy !req
737. You know, maybe Pomeranian,Copy !req
738. Lhasa Apso,
something kinda small,Copy !req
739. warm, fuzzy.Copy !req
740. Is this your first time?Copy !req
741. Yes. Isn't it yours?Copy !req
742. Is this your first time?Copy !req
743. What? Are you...
serious?Copy !req
744. Oh, my— You're hilarious! Oh.Copy !req
745. Oh, man, you're funny!Copy !req
746. Hey, Steve!Copy !req
747. You're a funny girl. Uh-huh.Copy !req
748. Oh, man. What? All right.Copy !req
749. Hey, where are you going?Copy !req
750. Okay, that was terrific.Copy !req
751. Doug!Copy !req
752. Oh, my God! Did you just-Copy !req
753. 'Cause I just... Oh, man! It's unbelievable!Copy !req
754. Not that it hasn't happened
before.Copy !req
755. Of course not. I mean it was okay. It was,Copy !req
756. you know, right. Yeah. The usual. Totally.Copy !req
757. You know, I'm gonna go back in
and...Copy !req
758. Yeah, Doug?Copy !req
759. You got a number!Copy !req
760. We got a number! We got a number!Copy !req
761. Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
762. Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
763. Whoo! Yeah! Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
764. Doug. Doug, I got
some great office suppliesCopy !req
765. for our new nightclub business.Copy !req
766. Let's see. Post-it notes,
to annotate important documents.Copy !req
767. All right. Little post-it notes.Copy !req
768. 'Cause you write smaller
than me. And, uh, mugsCopy !req
769. with our names on them.Copy !req
770. Yours says Doug. Sweet.Copy !req
771. Did you, uh, call Mr. Zadir?Copy !req
772. Okay, before you talk
to a man like Mr. Zadir,Copy !req
773. you have to have a plan
of attack, all right?Copy !req
774. Right. Um,Copy !req
775. I'd really like to schedule
a meeting. Can you do...Copy !req
776. 12:30? Uh, let's see.Copy !req
777. I'm clear. Okay,Copy !req
778. you know, what we should do?Copy !req
779. We should probably have
a pre-meetingCopy !req
780. to brainstorm
before our scheduled meeting.Copy !req
781. Yeah, that way
we don't look like idiotsCopy !req
782. at our meeting. Exactly.Copy !req
783. Okay. Okay. Good.Copy !req
784. I'm sorry. Register's closed.Copy !req
785. Yeah. Sorry.Copy !req
786. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
787. Uh, Mr. Butabi,Copy !req
788. where is the other
cash register?Copy !req
789. So 1I would be better. Right.Copy !req
790. Hey, Steve.Copy !req
791. Yeah? I was just thinking.Copy !req
792. Dad would be really proud
of us right now.Copy !req
793. What are you idiots doing?Copy !req
794. I pay you to take moneyCopy !req
795. and push a button
on the cash register.Copy !req
796. What, did you injure
your delicate fingersCopy !req
797. in a cellular phone accident?Copy !req
798. For your information,
we are working our asses off.Copy !req
799. Yeah, our week's filling up
pretty quick.Copy !req
800. Dad, last night,Copy !req
801. we made some very important
business contacts.Copy !req
802. Really? Doing what?Copy !req
803. Dancing the "Macarena"
with Donald Trump?Copy !req
804. You're always telling us
to do something with our lives,Copy !req
805. and when we finally do,
you gotta put us down.Copy !req
806. You never support us,Copy !req
807. and you never care
about what's important to us,Copy !req
808. right, Steve? Yeah.Copy !req
809. F— for the most part. Oh, ho, ho, ho!Copy !req
810. Even your brother
is not convinced.Copy !req
811. Why? Because he uses his brain,
unlike you! You, you're a loser!Copy !req
812. New policy!Copy !req
813. No more clubs!Copy !req
814. What? Yes!Copy !req
815. Your life is retail.Copy !req
816. Go clean the stockroom.Copy !req
817. You know what, Papa San?Copy !req
818. Not only will we not clean up
the stockroom,Copy !req
819. but we are officially out
of here!Copy !req
820. Come on, Steve!Copy !req
821. But what about the stockroom?Copy !req
822. We don't need you!Copy !req
823. We made huge-ass contacts
last night.Copy !req
824. Yeah, plus,
we met these girls, Dad,Copy !req
825. and you wouldn't believe
what happened.Copy !req
826. We're gonna make
it without you, Padre.Copy !req
827. You'll see!Copy !req
828. Yes, I'll see
when you come home tonightCopy !req
829. begging for food and shelter!
Idiots!Copy !req
830. Morons! Steve! Steve!Copy !req
831. Not now! You're an ass, Doug.Copy !req
832. Wanna go to the beach later?Copy !req
833. I've got my bathing suit on
underneath this dress.Copy !req
834. Also, I know of a beachCopy !req
835. where you don't have to wear
a bathing suit.Copy !req
836. And I don't know how you feel
about that but personallyCopy !req
837. I find it very liberating.Copy !req
838. Plus, you know,
with my milky white skinCopy !req
839. I have to watch up the tiny—Em— Emily,Copy !req
840. we're experiencing
a major family crisisCopy !req
841. right now. I'm gonna have
to take a rain checkCopy !req
842. on this convo. Steve! Car!Copy !req
843. Nice bulbs, Emily. Thanks.Copy !req
844. And I don't mean
that metaphorically.Copy !req
845. Don't— Just give me a callCopy !req
846. or call me later
if you wanna go outCopy !req
847. or just call me anyway! Shut up!Copy !req
848. You notice we forgot
to ask her something?Copy !req
849. You mean, what's up? Yeah. That's weird.Copy !req
850. Actually, it's not.Copy !req
851. We're both
in very serious relationshipsCopy !req
852. right now, and our ladies know
they can trust us.Copy !req
853. Why go out for burgers
when you got steak at home?Copy !req
854. You're right.
We should get lunch after this.Copy !req
855. You all right?Copy !req
856. Yeah. Fine.Copy !req
857. Doug and Steve Butabi
for Mr. Zadir.Copy !req
858. You're brothers?Copy !req
859. Ma'am, we appreciate the setup,
but we really can't getCopy !req
860. into that right now. No, we shouldn't.Copy !req
861. Your names are not on the list,
and nobody gets inCopy !req
862. without an appointment.Copy !req
863. We have a meeting. Your names are not on my list.Copy !req
864. Doug, Mr. Zadir!Copy !req
865. Security!Copy !req
866. Dooey! Yeah! Dooey! Yeah!Copy !req
867. Up top! Whoo! Main man! Whoo!Copy !req
868. Ragin' party last night. Yeah?Copy !req
869. Is that what my mother told you?Copy !req
870. Or was it my father? What?Copy !req
871. Those cans
of fluffy whipCopy !req
872. were a big hit at the party. Oh!Copy !req
873. I was out till four
in the morning looking for more.Copy !req
874. From dusk till dawn.
You, sir, are a party animal.Copy !req
875. It's been great
spending quality time and all,Copy !req
876. but we have a meeting
with Mr. Zadir.Copy !req
877. Let's go. Right.Copy !req
878. You keep away from Zadir.Copy !req
879. He was drunk last night.Copy !req
880. He doesn't even remember you.Copy !req
881. You think
you're the first losersCopy !req
882. Zadir's picked up on the weekendCopy !req
883. that I had to get rid of
on a Monday?Copy !req
884. Am I reading
my dis-meter correctly here?Copy !req
885. 'Cause I could swear
we're being blown off.Copy !req
886. Actually,
you're being kicked out.Copy !req
887. What are you— Doug!Copy !req
888. Hey! Mr. Zadir! Doug!Copy !req
889. Hey, Mr. Zadir!Copy !req
890. Doug!Copy !req
891. Hey! That doesn't feel good
at all!Copy !req
892. Dooey kicked me! That doesn't feel...Copy !req
893. very, very important. Dooey,
what's going on out there?Copy !req
894. Just a couple of trespassers,
sir.Copy !req
895. Did you find the boys
from last night?Copy !req
896. I haven't been able
to locate them yet,Copy !req
897. but don't worry, sir. I'm on it.Copy !req
898. Dooey... did you just grab
my ass?Copy !req
899. Sir, from where I'm standing,
that's a physical impossibility.Copy !req
900. Ah, I know your tricks, Dooey.Copy !req
901. Maybe we should just go back
to work.Copy !req
902. Yeah, and maybe we should go
to collegeCopy !req
903. and not put gel in our hair
and start wearing blue jeans!Copy !req
904. Let's do that, Steve!Copy !req
905. Sorry.Copy !req
906. Cambi's number.Copy !req
907. We had a pretty sweet time
last night, didn't we?Copy !req
908. Sweet ass time. Diabetic.Copy !req
909. I could see us doing that again.Copy !req
910. Maybe even a couple times
a week, right?Copy !req
911. The ladies await, my friend!Copy !req
912. Cell!Copy !req
913. Fascinating.Copy !req
914. So you travel to places
other than Japan?Copy !req
915. Who is it?Copy !req
916. I don't know.
Just a bunch of pound signs.Copy !req
917. I don't know
if you're doing it right.Copy !req
918. Steve, you have to hit
the pound sign,Copy !req
919. or it doesn't go through.Copy !req
920. You— you have
to put in our number,Copy !req
921. and then hit the pound sign.Copy !req
922. Excuse me,
Bill Nye the Science Guy.Copy !req
923. That's a sweet show, too.Copy !req
924. Hello. Cambi, it's your boyfriend.Copy !req
925. Huh? Look, I need to see you.Copy !req
926. Uh, well, I'm at the Skybar.Copy !req
927. We'll be right there. Nice.Copy !req
928. I know it's nice!Copy !req
929. That was so good! I was focused the whole time.Copy !req
930. My God. Let's go.Copy !req
931. So, did you guys haveCopy !req
932. as good a time last night
as we did?Copy !req
933. I had a great time, Vivica.Copy !req
934. In fact, I think we've reached
a pointCopy !req
935. where I can comfortably
call you VivCopy !req
936. and leave out the "Ica."Copy !req
937. Do you guys wanna hang out,
or...Copy !req
938. do what we did last night or—Copy !req
939. or eat and, uh,
do what we did last night?Copy !req
940. Sounds good. Okay.Copy !req
941. Ladies,
have your boarding passes ready.Copy !req
942. Uh, ma'am, you're gonna
have to check your bag.Copy !req
943. The movie on this flight
will be, uh...Copy !req
944. I don't know.
I can't think of any more.Copy !req
945. Where's your car?Copy !req
946. Our dad got mad, took it away.Copy !req
947. Your dad? Yeah.Copy !req
948. We used to work for him,
but we quit today,Copy !req
949. so actually, we're unemployed.Copy !req
950. Right. Yeah.Copy !req
951. You're not in business
with Mr. Zadir?Copy !req
952. Oh, no! We are! We just... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
953. you know, we just met him
last night, so we will be.Copy !req
954. So, no, but... yes.Copy !req
955. Especially, if we ever get
to see him again.Copy !req
956. Right. Yeah.Copy !req
957. Hey, we were just kidding
about the boarding passes.Copy !req
958. You can get in. Get away from us.Copy !req
959. What's wrong?Copy !req
960. You guys are a big waste
of time.Copy !req
961. Como? What? Steve, you're a jerk-off!Copy !req
962. Well, I'm gladCopy !req
963. you shared that with me.Copy !req
964. It's a big step for both of us.Copy !req
965. Guys, consider what we did
for you last night a favor.Copy !req
966. Now do us a favor
and never talk to us again.Copy !req
967. Wha— what did we do wrong?
We'll change.Copy !req
968. You can't change.Copy !req
969. You and your brother are ugly,
pathetic losers!Copy !req
970. I can't believe
we actually had sexCopy !req
971. with these asswads.Copy !req
972. Now, see, that's
the problem with nightclubs.Copy !req
973. Poor schmucks look the same
as rich schmucks.Copy !req
974. No.Copy !req
975. Yes.Copy !req
976. Steve, this is the worst day
of my life,Copy !req
977. and I'd really appreciate itCopy !req
978. if you didn't talk to me
right now, all right?Copy !req
979. I don't know how I'm supposed
to respond to that.Copy !req
980. Big surprise, Steve.Copy !req
981. You don't know
how to do something!Copy !req
982. You don't know
how to work the clubs!Copy !req
983. You don't know
how to talk to the ladies!Copy !req
984. The only thing you know
how to doCopy !req
985. is ask me how to do everything! But I'm just follo—Copy !req
986. That's why
everything's gone wrong!Copy !req
987. Because you're holding me back.
You're like this—Copy !req
988. you're like— you're like this—
this thing. Like,Copy !req
989. it's tied to my leg. Like this—
this dragging thing. Like,Copy !req
990. it's on a chain,
being dragged like...Copy !req
991. Lead weight, lead weight. Yes. Thank you.Copy !req
992. But I'm not letting you drag me
down anymore! That's it!Copy !req
993. Fin! Nothing! Wall! That's all!
Nothing!Copy !req
994. You know, you can't blame me
for what happened.Copy !req
995. I mean, today was just a series
of random events gone awry.Copy !req
996. Well, maybe
they wouldn't go awryCopy !req
997. if I had someone sitting next
to me with a brain!Copy !req
998. You know what? Dad was right.Copy !req
999. You are a loser!Copy !req
1000. You know what, Steve?Copy !req
1001. I lied. You're not good-looking!Copy !req
1002. Di— did you say something?Copy !req
1003. 'Cause I have trouble
hearing thingsCopy !req
1004. from that low to the ground!Copy !req
1005. Well, hear this! From now on,
consider me your ex-brother!Copy !req
1006. I don't care. Care about this, huh?Copy !req
1007. You want that?
You want the real thing?Copy !req
1008. Huh? No. Do— do you want—Copy !req
1009. Then stop talking to me! No. Fine.Copy !req
1010. My pleasure. Fine! Great. Good. Nice!Copy !req
1011. Stop!Copy !req
1012. Yeah, adhesive...Copy !req
1013. Little Post-Its,
you little idiot.Copy !req
1014. Throwing these out
'cause I hate you.Copy !req
1015. You should take a lesson
from it.Copy !req
1016. You went after those kidsCopy !req
1017. 'cause you wanna... Grieco.Copy !req
1018. And when you couldn't
nail them, you wentCopy !req
1019. after the next most likely
bigot me.Copy !req
1020. You want to get yourself
a racist so bad...Copy !req
1021. You'll be very happy
with these, ma'am.Copy !req
1022. These roses are our top seller. How long do they last?Copy !req
1023. They last forever,
'cause they're silk.Copy !req
1024. They'll always be in bloom.Copy !req
1025. They'll never die, never change.Copy !req
1026. They'll never say
you're not good-looking.Copy !req
1027. They'll always be in your roomCopy !req
1028. where you left 'em.Copy !req
1029. And not suddenly
move outCopy !req
1030. to the guest house. See.Copy !req
1031. Uh, Steven, excuse me.Copy !req
1032. Uh, something has come up.
Excuse me, ma'am.Copy !req
1033. Steven, what's going on?
All the customers are depressed.Copy !req
1034. It's just I'm used
to seeing Doug at the register.Copy !req
1035. I miss him. He's in the guest house.Copy !req
1036. It's ten feet away.
It's a mansion in there.Copy !req
1037. There's no cable. Yes, there is.Copy !req
1038. They have Cinemax. But there's no HBO!Copy !req
1039. God!Copy !req
1040. Squeeze.
You can feel it right here.Copy !req
1041. Squeeze!Copy !req
1042. Hey, Steve. Yeah! come on!Copy !req
1043. Hey, how you doing?
Um, I heard about your brother.Copy !req
1044. So? So when are we gonna go out?Copy !req
1045. I know a placeCopy !req
1046. with great spinach wraps.Copy !req
1047. Look, Emily,Copy !req
1048. I know you've had your heart set
on this for a long time,Copy !req
1049. but the truth is, I mean,
I'm a rebel,Copy !req
1050. and you're like this sweet
girl-from-next-door type.Copy !req
1051. Steve, you're forgetting.
I go to college, okay?Copy !req
1052. Translation, drunken orgies
with occasional cliff notes.Copy !req
1053. Look, it sounds good,Copy !req
1054. but I just got out of
this very serious relationship,Copy !req
1055. and it's gonna take some time
to nurse my emotional wounds.Copy !req
1056. And that could take, like,
until... ... Saturday.Copy !req
1057. Saturday? That's perfect.Copy !req
1058. Your dad got us tickets
to see David CopperfieldCopy !req
1059. this Saturday night.Copy !req
1060. Ah, it's gonna be so much fun
to see things appearCopy !req
1061. and then disappear.Copy !req
1062. I'll see you.Copy !req
1063. Man. Great glutes.Copy !req
1064. I don't care.Copy !req
1065. I don't know
what you were thinking.Copy !req
1066. That— that's expensive. Gotta go.Copy !req
1067. What goes on in your head... No.Copy !req
1068. Don't—... when you shop for yourself?Copy !req
1069. Who decorates like this?Copy !req
1070. Steve, come on. You should...Copy !req
1071. "Introduction to business.Copy !req
1072. Human relationships
in management.Copy !req
1073. Description covers
the developmentCopy !req
1074. of the human relationship
claim—"Copy !req
1075. Ooh, here's one.Copy !req
1076. "Business computer systems."Copy !req
1077. That's a good one.Copy !req
1078. Machines are Doug's thing.
I'm more of a people person.Copy !req
1079. Steve, a businessmanCopy !req
1080. must have knowledge
of computers.Copy !req
1081. Come on.Copy !req
1082. Oh, here's another one.Copy !req
1083. "Venture management."Copy !req
1084. Gosh, Emily, school. I—Copy !req
1085. I'll have to read. And homework.Copy !req
1086. And the teacher
would always ask you,Copy !req
1087. "Would you like to share that
with the rest of the class?"Copy !req
1088. Don't upset me, Steve.Copy !req
1089. Unless you want
to make me less horny.Copy !req
1090. No. That wouldn't be good.Copy !req
1091. Look, here's what we do.Copy !req
1092. First we combine the stores,
okay?Copy !req
1093. And then we can add
the furniture,Copy !req
1094. you know?Copy !req
1095. Recliners and, uh,Copy !req
1096. sofa beds and, uh, end tables...Copy !req
1097. and, uh... Chairs.Copy !req
1098. Oh, yes, chairs.Copy !req
1099. And, uh...Copy !req
1100. Ottomans. Yes, ottomans.Copy !req
1101. Ottomans. We're gonna be bigger
than IKEA:Copy !req
1102. Home Depot. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1103. I— I— I—Copy !req
1104. I— I— I— IKEA!Copy !req
1105. Emily, I-Copy !req
1106. I think we're moving
way too fast.Copy !req
1107. You're— you're talking
like we're married.Copy !req
1108. Oh, Steve.Copy !req
1109. You just made me so happy.Copy !req
1110. What? No, no, no.
I don't mean that.Copy !req
1111. No. It's— it's just
that I don't—Copy !req
1112. Okay.Copy !req
1113. Well, if I'm not mistaken,Copy !req
1114. This place has got it going on.Copy !req
1115. Hah! I owe you big time
for inviting me.Copy !req
1116. Who wants to dance,
huh?Copy !req
1117. Huh? I call this one
the sprinkler.Copy !req
1118. Hey. You think it would be okay
to wear this outfitCopy !req
1119. to your brother's wedding?Copy !req
1120. What?Copy !req
1121. Your brother's wedding, man.
What are you gonna wear?Copy !req
1122. Oh... ... God.Copy !req
1123. Man, you've got to hand it
to Steve.Copy !req
1124. That Emily
is the perfect woman.Copy !req
1125. Gosh, strong legs,Copy !req
1126. tight stomach,
a positive mental attitude.Copy !req
1127. A woman like that
could really keep you on track.Copy !req
1128. Shut up!Copy !req
1129. Idiot.Copy !req
1130. Doug, just because you
and your brotherCopy !req
1131. are having problems,
that's no reason to referCopy !req
1132. to my intellectual capacity
in a diminutive manner.Copy !req
1133. I'm sorry, Craig. It's just...Copy !req
1134. Can we not talk
about my brother for a second?Copy !req
1135. Ten-four. Boundary set. Thank you.Copy !req
1136. Wow! Ooh!Copy !req
1137. I am having a hell of a time.
Whoo!Copy !req
1138. This moment...Copy !req
1139. I want to make a toastCopy !req
1140. to Steve and Emily,Copy !req
1141. Who, after tomorrow, will be
Mr. And Mrs. Steven Butabi.Copy !req
1142. Emily Sanderson-Butabi. Whoever you become.Copy !req
1143. Uh, I would also like
to thank everyoneCopy !req
1144. for flying in to join us.
Uh, especially my— my parents,Copy !req
1145. who came in all the way
from Maine...Copy !req
1146. Yes, yes. ... despiteCopy !req
1147. Mom's sciatica. Terr— terrific, sir.Copy !req
1148. Yes, and of course, uh,
the Butabis,Copy !req
1149. who came in all the way
from Yay-men.Copy !req
1150. Yemen. And uh,Copy !req
1151. that's not the only union.Copy !req
1152. From what I understand,Copy !req
1153. we got a new, uh,
lamp-plant store.Copy !req
1154. Plant-lamp store.
Much better.Copy !req
1155. Seriously, it sounds better.Copy !req
1156. Um, Steve.Copy !req
1157. Do you want to stand up
and make a toast?Copy !req
1158. No. I'm all right.Copy !req
1159. Steve, I think that you should
stand up and make a toast.Copy !req
1160. All the men are making toasts.
I think you should make a toast.Copy !req
1161. Uh...Copy !req
1162. Okay, I— I just want to say,
uh, what's up?Copy !req
1163. Grandma, grandpa, and...Copy !req
1164. to the other two old people,
what's up?Copy !req
1165. Yeah, you.Copy !req
1166. Very nice, very nice. Thanks.Copy !req
1167. I think, uh,
what Steve is trying to sayCopy !req
1168. is that we are just, uh,
thrilled with the wayCopy !req
1169. this family is coming together.Copy !req
1170. And now, I would like to share
with youCopy !req
1171. some of our business plans
for after the merger.Copy !req
1172. I'm gonna get some more wine.Copy !req
1173. Dad. Dad. Yes?Copy !req
1174. Is— is there any way
we can cancel this whole thing?Copy !req
1175. Yes.Copy !req
1176. No.Copy !req
1177. Uh...
that is so funny, but, Dad,Copy !req
1178. it's like Emily turned outCopy !req
1179. to be this whole different
other person.Copy !req
1180. Let me explain something to you.Copy !req
1181. The caterer has been paid.Copy !req
1182. Your grandparents
have flown halfwayCopy !req
1183. around the world to get here.
Besides, all men are nervousCopy !req
1184. the night
before their wedding, okay?Copy !req
1185. Oh, you mean all guys
are nervous, and anxious,Copy !req
1186. and kind of hope
she eats a can of botulism?Copy !req
1187. Or— or maybe she could hang out
with a deerCopy !req
1188. and a hunter
accidentally shoots her?Copy !req
1189. Or— or you know,
when she's sleeping,Copy !req
1190. she makes
that nose-whistle sound,Copy !req
1191. and you— you shake her
to make her be quiet,Copy !req
1192. but what you'd really
like to doCopy !req
1193. is take
her stupid little red toothbrushCopy !req
1194. and ram it up her nostril
into her skull!Copy !req
1195. These are perfectly
normal feelings.Copy !req
1196. Okay.Copy !req
1197. Doug, you there? It's Steve.Copy !req
1198. Hi. You've reached Doug Butabi.Copy !req
1199. I'm not here right now
because I'm outsideCopy !req
1200. living it up,
unlike my pussy whipped brotherCopy !req
1201. who's too busy
throwing his life awayCopy !req
1202. for Emily.Copy !req
1203. Beep.Copy !req
1204. Doug, sorry I missed you. Um,Copy !req
1205. uh, I guess I'm getting married,Copy !req
1206. and, uh, I'm just wonderingCopy !req
1207. if you wanted to be my best man.Copy !req
1208. Give me a call or page me.Copy !req
1209. I'm in our room still,
across from the pool.Copy !req
1210. See you.Copy !req
1211. Yeah, let's go over this
one more time.Copy !req
1212. Steve, I know my duty
as best man.Copy !req
1213. Are you sure? I got it.Copy !req
1214. I walk down the aisle,
I stand next to you,Copy !req
1215. and I get to settle
any inter-wedding skirmishes.Copy !req
1216. No, no, no, no.
You're the best man,Copy !req
1217. not the wedding bouncer.Copy !req
1218. You just gotta back me up.Copy !req
1219. Oh.Copy !req
1220. Like if things get too heavy,
I step in like a spotter.Copy !req
1221. Yeah, right.Copy !req
1222. Thanks, man. Hey. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
1223. We're ready. Let's go. Come on,
come on, come on.Copy !req
1224. So I mean,
do you want your kid blessedCopy !req
1225. or not? It's up to you.Copy !req
1226. Richard Grieco.Copy !req
1227. How do you know Steve?Copy !req
1228. I, uh, just don't want
to be sued.Copy !req
1229. No. Look, listen to me, pal.Copy !req
1230. You cannot get
your kid confirmed in this cityCopy !req
1231. for less than 150, all right.
Now, you want your kid blessed,Copy !req
1232. you call me, okay? It's up
to you. I mean, know a...Copy !req
1233. You know, Dad,
I've been thinking.Copy !req
1234. I didn't really have time
to have a bachelor party.Copy !req
1235. That's a pretty major part
of the wedding experience.Copy !req
1236. So we may want to consider
delaying a couple hours,Copy !req
1237. so we can go to a strip club
or something.Copy !req
1238. Look, sorry. I gotta go.
Leave me a message.Copy !req
1239. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
1240. Steve, getting married.
You the man!Copy !req
1241. Shut up, Craig. I'm walking
down the aisle, you dick.Copy !req
1242. She wore white?Copy !req
1243. Grandma,
get off the phone.Copy !req
1244. Dearly beloved,
we're gathered here todayCopy !req
1245. to join together—Uh, Fa— Father. Did—Copy !req
1246. did we already start? Yeah.Copy !req
1247. Oh. Sorry. I thought
there was supposedCopy !req
1248. to be a buzzer or a whistle
or something.Copy !req
1249. To join together this man
and this womanCopy !req
1250. in holy matrimony.Copy !req
1251. Before we do that,
I understandCopy !req
1252. the bride and groom
have each prepared something.Copy !req
1253. "Dearest Steve,Copy !req
1254. they say
if you set something freeCopy !req
1255. and it comes back,
you should love it forever.Copy !req
1256. And, like one
of your silk plants,Copy !req
1257. I will try to stay beautiful.
That is my endeavor.Copy !req
1258. I knowCopy !req
1259. our lives together
will be great,Copy !req
1260. just like when we saw
David CopperfieldCopy !req
1261. on our first date.Copy !req
1262. Love, Emily."Copy !req
1263. "Emily.Copy !req
1264. I used to see you outside my
father's store,Copy !req
1265. and then we went on some dates,Copy !req
1266. and you let me have sex
with you."Copy !req
1267. Hmm.Copy !req
1268. Oh, I'm done.Copy !req
1269. If there is anyoneCopy !req
1270. who has reason to believe
that this man or this womanCopy !req
1271. should not be joined together
in holy matrimony,Copy !req
1272. let them speak now
or forever hold their peace.Copy !req
1273. What's up?Copy !req
1274. From out of town?Copy !req
1275. Steve, don't hit
on the bridesmaid.Copy !req
1276. It's your wedding.Copy !req
1277. You want to wait until
after the ceremony, please?Copy !req
1278. Right.Copy !req
1279. Steven, do you promise
to love Emily in sicknessCopy !req
1280. and health for as long
as you both shall live?Copy !req
1281. My dad already paid the caterer.Copy !req
1282. Emily, do you promise
to love Steven in sicknessCopy !req
1283. and health for as long
as you both shall live?Copy !req
1284. I do. Oh.Copy !req
1285. Steven, repeat after me. After me.Copy !req
1286. With this ring, I thee wed.Copy !req
1287. With this ring...
I thee wed.Copy !req
1288. Now, Emily.Copy !req
1289. With this ring—Copy !req
1290. Doug.Copy !req
1291. What the hell's he doing here?
What are you doing here?Copy !req
1292. Make him stop. Emily, don't get upset.Copy !req
1293. Turn that music off! Put a tie on and the music off.Copy !req
1294. You know what I paid
for this wedding?Copy !req
1295. Steve,
what are you doing?Copy !req
1296. Oh, don't do that
with your head. That is so dumb.Copy !req
1297. Why is he moving
his stupid head?Copy !req
1298. Mr. Butabi,
I— I— I can't—Copy !req
1299. I can't work—Keep going. Let's go.Copy !req
1300. You wanna get paid? You idiot! He's right.Copy !req
1301. You're out of the will!
That I can tell you!Copy !req
1302. This is my wedding! I told you he was a jerkCopy !req
1303. since day one. Emily, shh.Copy !req
1304. I told you. He's such a jerk.
I told you about that.Copy !req
1305. Emily, uh, I'm sorry.
I'm not ready yet.Copy !req
1306. Where's he going?Copy !req
1307. Steve, stop! Nice poem, though.Copy !req
1308. Sorry, Dad.Copy !req
1309. Steve, come back here!Copy !req
1310. Steve, don't you leave me. Everybody,Copy !req
1311. keep sitting. Steve, I'm not kidding.Copy !req
1312. Mr. Butabi. What?Copy !req
1313. As an actor, I'm a keen observer
of human nature,Copy !req
1314. and I can tell you
that your son is not readyCopy !req
1315. for this sort of commitment.Copy !req
1316. Hello.Copy !req
1317. Hey.Copy !req
1318. Oh, God. Go ahead, Father.Copy !req
1319. What? What are you doing?Copy !req
1320. Emily, with all due respect
to Steve,Copy !req
1321. his discipline is lacking,
as is his appreciation for you.Copy !req
1322. Now, I, on the other hand,
can bench press 305 pounds.Copy !req
1323. I squat a clean 525,
and my body fat percentageCopy !req
1324. is less than two percent. Good.Copy !req
1325. Now, not only am I
a professional trainer,Copy !req
1326. but I also hope to market
my own protein bar someday.Copy !req
1327. Plus,Copy !req
1328. I've always loved you. Oh.Copy !req
1329. Well...Copy !req
1330. okay, but we should look
into infomercials.Copy !req
1331. Okay.Copy !req
1332. Whoa, this is
a completely new fee. Cool?Copy !req
1333. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1334. Okay.Copy !req
1335. Dearly beloved,Copy !req
1336. we're gathered here
again today...Copy !req
1337. Also, uh, I took, uh,
Craig clubbing.Copy !req
1338. It was all right.Copy !req
1339. Plus, I rented a lot of videos.
I didn't do much else.Copy !req
1340. Uh-huh.Copy !req
1341. Look, Steve.Copy !req
1342. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1343. I said a lot
of bad things before.Copy !req
1344. I've been thinking.Copy !req
1345. You're my brother, and...Copy !req
1346. we're brothers. You know,Copy !req
1347. when we're together...Copy !req
1348. I just...Copy !req
1349. You don't drag me down.Copy !req
1350. I drag me down.Copy !req
1351. And you...Copy !req
1352. you complete me.Copy !req
1353. Shh— shut up.Copy !req
1354. What?Copy !req
1355. Just shut up.Copy !req
1356. You had me at "hello."Copy !req
1357. And it seems to me...Copy !req
1358. you're just a little bit harder
on DougCopy !req
1359. than you are on Steve. I mean—Copy !req
1360. I mean, isn't that true?Copy !req
1361. It's true, it's true. It's just
that Doug is alwaysCopy !req
1362. so rebellious.
I— I can't control him.Copy !req
1363. Yeah, but...
rebellious,Copy !req
1364. scrappy, dreamer, I mean,Copy !req
1365. what other young man does
that remind you of, huh?Copy !req
1366. Uh.Copy !req
1367. Myself as a kid.Copy !req
1368. So who are you really fighting
with?Copy !req
1369. Richard Grieco...Copy !req
1370. you see right through me.Copy !req
1371. I missed this car.Copy !req
1372. I look good in it. Of course you do.Copy !req
1373. And, uh, you look good also.Copy !req
1374. Thanks.Copy !req
1375. I'm really glad you moved back
into the room.Copy !req
1376. Dad was pretty cool
about the weddingCopy !req
1377. once he had that chat
with Richard Grieco.Copy !req
1378. Yeah, and it really improved
your relationship with him.Copy !req
1379. Oh, my God.
Is that an outside nightclub?Copy !req
1380. No way. That's your idea. Pull over. Let's check it out.Copy !req
1381. Right.Copy !req
1382. No one gets in
unless they talk to the list.Copy !req
1383. We're on the list. Steve and Doug Butabi.Copy !req
1384. Butabi. Oh, step right in.Copy !req
1385. I'm sorry? Go right in.Copy !req
1386. Okay.Copy !req
1387. I guess we should go in then. Yeah.Copy !req
1388. Okay, we're gonna... We're gonna go in.Copy !req
1389. We're going in.Copy !req
1390. I can't believe we got in.Copy !req
1391. I know. I don't know
what that's about.Copy !req
1392. You sure it wasn't a mistake? I don't think so.Copy !req
1393. It's too weird to be a mistake. It's like they stole your idea.Copy !req
1394. I know. It's exact—Copy !req
1395. Butabis! I've been looking
all over for you. Come here!Copy !req
1396. Get over here!Copy !req
1397. Mr. Zadir. Mr. Zadir.Copy !req
1398. How do you like our club? Our club?Copy !req
1399. Of course. I cut you in.
It was your idea.Copy !req
1400. Sweet. Sweet ass sweet.Copy !req
1401. Uh, it's not all sweet asses.
Running a club is hard work.Copy !req
1402. Don't worry about it, Mr. Zadir.Copy !req
1403. Yeah. We're workaholics.Copy !req
1404. Mr. Zadir, Dooey just called
from Pismo Beach.Copy !req
1405. He says there's no way
he could've grabbed your ass.Copy !req
1406. What is he up to now? I just told you.Copy !req
1407. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1408. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1409. Let's do some business. All right.Copy !req
1410. Put a couple cherries in that. Nice call.Copy !req
1411. Hello, Mr. Butabi. Hey.Copy !req
1412. Mr. Butabi,
can you approve this?Copy !req
1413. Yes. That, uh, looks just fine.Copy !req
1414. Not bad. Good decision.Copy !req
1415. Hi, Mr. Bartabi. It's Butabi, but that's okay.Copy !req
1416. How's the hair? Good.Copy !req
1417. Successful-club-owner good? Absolutely.Copy !req
1418. How are these? Nice?Copy !req
1419. God, that voice sounds
so familiar.Copy !req
1420. Are you...Copy !req
1421. Doug?Copy !req
1422. Credit Vixen?Copy !req
1423. My God,
I can't believe this.Copy !req
1424. You're even more beautiful
than you sound.Copy !req
1425. You stopped calling. Well, not—Copy !req
1426. not because I didn't want to.
I just—Copy !req
1427. Am I what you expected?Copy !req
1428. I totally approve.Copy !req
1429. Uh, you're not here with anyone?Copy !req
1430. Oh, just my friend.Copy !req
1431. Hottie police officer?Copy !req
1432. I was really looking forwardCopy !req
1433. to meeting you
at municipal courtCopy !req
1434. on or before June sixth.Copy !req
1435. So, uh, do you guys want to,
uh, dance?Copy !req
1436. No.Copy !req
1437. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
1438. Oh, I love this song. Me, too.Copy !req
1439. Actually, I'm getting
kind of sick of it.Copy !req
1440. I broke the window again.Copy !req