1. - The gentleman has not arrived?
- No, he has not.
Copy !req
2. I'm afraid the dinner will be spoiled.
Copy !req
3. What difference does it make?
It's too late to dine now.
Copy !req
4. Boy, will you page
Mr. Otis B. Driftwood, please?
Copy !req
5. Paging Mr. Driftwood!
Copy !req
6. Mr. Driftwood!
Copy !req
7. Do me a favor and stop yelling my name
all over this restaurant.
Copy !req
8. - Do I go around yelling your name?
- Mr. Driftwood!
Copy !req
9. Is your voice changing,
or is somebody else paging me?
Copy !req
10. - Mr. Driftwood!
- Why, Mrs. Claypool, hello!
Copy !req
11. You invited me to dine with you at 7:00.
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12. It is now 8:00, and no dinner.
Copy !req
13. No dinner? I just had
one of the biggest meals of my life...
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14. and no thanks to you, either.
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15. - I've been sitting right here since 7:00.
- With your back to me.
Copy !req
16. When I dine with a woman,
I expect her to look at my face.
Copy !req
17. - That's the price she has to pay.
- Your check, sir.
Copy !req
18. $9.40? This is an outrage!
If I were you, I wouldn't pay it.
Copy !req
19. - What are we gonna have for dinner?
- You've had your dinner.
Copy !req
20. All right, we'll have breakfast.
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21. - Waiter!
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
22. - Have you got any milk-fed chicken?
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
23. Squeeze the milk out of one
and bring me a glass.
Copy !req
24. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
25. Mr. Driftwood, three months ago,
you promised to put me into society.
Copy !req
26. In all that time, you've done nothing
but draw a very handsome salary.
Copy !req
27. You think that's nothing? How many men
do you think draw a handsome salary?
Copy !req
28. You can count them on the fingers
of one hand, my good woman.
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29. - I'm not your good woman!
- Don't say that, Mrs. Claypool.
Copy !req
30. I don't care what your past has been.
Copy !req
31. To me, you'll always be my good woman,
because I love you.
Copy !req
32. There. I didn't mean to tell you
but you dragged it out of me.
Copy !req
33. I love you.
Copy !req
34. That's hard to believe when I find you
dining with another woman.
Copy !req
35. That woman?
Do you know why I sat with her?
Copy !req
36. Because she reminded me of you.
Copy !req
37. - Really?
- Of course.
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38. That's why I'm here with you,
because you remind me of you.
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39. Your eyes, your throat, your lips...
Everything about you reminds me of you...
Copy !req
40. except you.
Copy !req
41. How do you account for that?
She figures that out, she's good.
Copy !req
42. Mr. Driftwood, I think we'd better
keep everything on a business basis.
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43. Every time I get romantic with you,
you want to talk business.
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44. I don't know. There's something about me
that brings out the business in all women.
Copy !req
45. All right, we'll talk business.
You see that man eating spaghetti?
Copy !req
46. - No.
- You see the spaghetti, don't you?
Copy !req
47. Behind that spaghetti
is none other than Herman Gottlieb...
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48. director of the New York Opera Company.
Copy !req
49. - Do you follow me?
- Yes.
Copy !req
50. Stop following me,
or I'll have you arrested!
Copy !req
51. I've arranged for you to invest $200,000
in the New York Opera Company.
Copy !req
52. I don't understand.
Copy !req
53. Don't you see?
You'll be a patron of the opera.
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54. You'll get into society.
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55. You can marry me,
and they'll kick you out of society...
Copy !req
56. and all you've lost is $200,000.
Copy !req
57. Gottlieb. Allow me.
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58. Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gottlieb.
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59. I could go on all night,
but it's tough on my suspenders.
Copy !req
60. Where was I?
Copy !req
61. What are you doing?
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62. If you four people want to play bridge,
don't mind me, go right ahead.
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63. Mrs. Claypool, I'm so happy.
Copy !req
64. I just wanted to see
if your rings were still there.
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65. You're as charming as you are beautiful.
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66. I'm afraid you've used
that speech before, Mr. Gottlieb.
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67. Now listen here, Gottlieb,
making love to Mrs. Claypool is my racket.
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68. What you're after is $200,000.
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69. Make it sound plausible,
because incredible as it may seem...
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70. Mrs. Claypool isn't as big a sap
as she looks.
Copy !req
71. How's that for lovemaking?
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72. I think the Europeans do it better.
Copy !req
73. All right, Gottlieb, it's your turn.
You take a whack at her...
Copy !req
74. and keep it clean.
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75. Mrs. Claypool, it is most generous
of you to help us.
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76. Now, you have, of course,
heard of Rodolfo Lassparri.
Copy !req
77. - Of course.
- He is the greatest tenor since Caruso.
Copy !req
78. Tonight, with the money
you so generously provide...
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79. I sign Lassparri for the Opera Company.
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80. He will be a sensation.
All New York will be at your feet.
Copy !req
81. There's plenty of room.
Copy !req
82. And now, the opera awaits us.
Copy !req
83. If you both will honor me
by occupying my box.
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84. I should be charmed.
Copy !req
85. - And you, Mr. Driftwood?
- I'll join up with you later.
Copy !req
86. Listen, Gottlieb, nix on the lovemaking,
because I saw Mrs. Claypool first.
Copy !req
87. Of course, her mother really saw her first,
but why bring the Civil War into this?
Copy !req
88. What are you doing in my costume?
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89. Take it off at once, do you hear?
Immediately.
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90. Why, you...
Copy !req
91. Take that off.
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92. Take off that dress, do you hear me?
You dumb idiot.
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93. You do what I say, or I'll break your neck!
Copy !req
94. Do you hear me? Take off that dress.
Copy !req
95. If I get my hands on you,
you'll never hear the end of this!
Copy !req
96. You're no longer my dresser,
you're fired! Get out!
Copy !req
97. Get out, do you hear me? Out you go.
And don't come back in here again.
Copy !req
98. Don't you care.
You're lucky to be rid of him.
Copy !req
99. - Good evening, Rosa.
- Good evening, signore.
Copy !req
100. Tomasso, why don't you come in?
I've been waiting for you.
Copy !req
101. Are they not beautiful, signorina?
From Signor Lassparri.
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102. I wouldn't wear them
if they were the only flowers in the world.
Copy !req
103. - Come in!
- Not if you use that tone.
Copy !req
104. Let's try the whole thing all over again.
Only this time, try to be more cordial.
Copy !req
105. - Come in.
- That's better. Let's try it once more.
Copy !req
106. No, Ricky. You're such a fool.
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107. - What was it you wanted to see me about?
- I suppose I sent for you?
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108. You meant to. Didn't she, Marie?
Copy !req
109. It's the last night of the season,
and I'm more in love with you than ever.
Copy !req
110. - What will you do about it?
- We have all summer to talk that over.
Copy !req
111. - Tonight, we have to sing an opera.
- You have to sing an opera.
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112. - I'm nothing but a glorified chorus man.
- Don't say that.
Copy !req
113. I've got to say it.
I've got something else to say.
Copy !req
114. What are you doing tonight,
unless that ham Lassparri asked you first.
Copy !req
115. - He has asked me first.
- Just my luck.
Copy !req
116. But I'm having supper with you, Riccardo.
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117. Hooray! We'll have champagne,
music, flowers...
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118. "Lassparri."
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119. No flowers.
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120. - Fiorello!
- Tony!
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121. - Where have you been all these weeks?
- Here, there, different places.
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122. - Got some mail for me?
- Mail for you? You don't work here.
Copy !req
123. Where am I gonna get my mail?
I no work anyplace.
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124. Tomasso!
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125. Not so good. Don't be so glad.
Copy !req
126. I brought you present.
You got something for me, too?
Copy !req
127. What do you got?
Copy !req
128. Where's Riccardo? All right.
Copy !req
129. What are you doing here?
I thought you were with the circus.
Copy !req
130. The circus? When was I with the circus?
Copy !req
131. I nearly forgot.
That was a long time ago, last week.
Copy !req
132. Since then I have lots of jobs.
Copy !req
133. Your piano and my voice.
Copy !req
134. All those years we studied at
the conservatory, and what's come of it?
Copy !req
135. What's a matter with you?
We're still young. We've got our health.
Copy !req
136. You hear that? Someday, Riccardo,
you're gonna be where Lassparri is.
Copy !req
137. When you were 6 years old,
you sing better than Lassparri.
Copy !req
138. Maybe I was better at six than I am now.
Copy !req
139. You make me sick. You crazy.
Copy !req
140. You sing better than he ever could sing
and you know it.
Copy !req
141. I know it and you know it,
but the public doesn't know it.
Copy !req
142. - All right. We tell the public.
- How?
Copy !req
143. What you need is a manager.
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144. A wise guy, somebody who's very smart.
Copy !req
145. - I know just the man for you.
- You do? Who is it?
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146. Me!
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147. - But you wouldn't make any money at it.
- I'll break even.
Copy !req
148. Just as long as I no lose nothing.
Copy !req
149. - Is the opera over yet?
- Not yet, signore, in a few minutes.
Copy !req
150. I told you to slow that nag down.
Copy !req
151. On account of you,
I nearly heard the opera.
Copy !req
152. Once around the park, and drive slowly.
And none of your back talk.
Copy !req
153. You're still crazy about her?
Copy !req
154. And she's crazy about you, too?
Copy !req
155. Even if she was,
I couldn't ask her to marry me.
Copy !req
156. Don't worry.
The manager, he'll fix everything.
Copy !req
157. Anyhow, we're together again...
Copy !req
158. - you and me, just like old times.
- Yeah, like old times.
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159. Yeah, you bet my life.
Copy !req
160. If you pardon my saying so,
Mrs. Claypool...
Copy !req
161. Mr. Driftwood seems hardly the person
to handle your business affairs.
Copy !req
162. - I'm beginning to think the same thing.
- Bravo!
Copy !req
163. I made it.
How soon does the curtain go up?
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164. The curtain, Mr. Driftwood,
will go up again next season.
Copy !req
165. - You've missed the entire opera.
- I only missed it by a few minutes.
Copy !req
166. I can go then?
Copy !req
167. Was I right? Isn't Lassparri
the greatest tenor that ever lived?
Copy !req
168. He's superb.
But what would you have to pay him?
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169. What's the difference?
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170. He must sail with us tomorrow
no matter what we pay.
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171. - He would be worth $1,000 a night.
- How much?
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172. - What does he do?
- What does he do, he sings.
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173. You're willing to pay him
$1,000 a night just for singing?
Copy !req
174. You can get a phonograph record
of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents.
Copy !req
175. For $1.25, you can get Minnie.
Copy !req
176. If you'll excuse me, Mrs. Claypool...
Copy !req
177. I think I had better arrange
to see Lassparri immediately.
Copy !req
178. - You are agreed, $1,000 a night?
- Just as you think.
Copy !req
179. $1,000. There must be some way
I can get a piece of this.
Copy !req
180. Wait. Why don't I sign Lassparri?
I represent Mrs. Claypool.
Copy !req
181. But I represent
the New York Opera Company.
Copy !req
182. Boy? Will you give my card
to Signor Lassparri, please?
Copy !req
183. What is it? What do you want?
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184. - Rosa.
- Yes, signore?
Copy !req
185. My good friend Herman Gottlieb
is coming back to see me.
Copy !req
186. How would you like
to have supper with us?
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187. I'm terribly sorry, Signor Lassparri,
I already have an engagement.
Copy !req
188. I see.
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189. That's too bad, because I have an idea...
Copy !req
190. he's going to invite me
to sing in New York.
Copy !req
191. And he may permit me
to select my leading lady.
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192. Are you sure
you can't break your appointment?
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193. I'm terribly sorry, signore.
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194. What do you mean by humiliating me
in front of those people?
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195. You're fired, do you understand?
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196. You big bully,
why are you hitting that little bully?
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197. Will you kindly let me
handle my own affairs?
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198. Get out. What do you got to say to me?
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199. Can you sleep on your stomach
with such big buttons on your pajamas?
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200. Why, you...
Copy !req
201. Nice work, I think you got him.
Copy !req
202. Smelling salts. That will bring him to.
Copy !req
203. You're sorry for what you did?
That shows a nice spirit.
Copy !req
204. Now he's coming along. He'll be fine now.
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205. - Get fresh with me, huh?
- How do you do?
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206. - Hello.
- What's the matter, mister?
Copy !req
207. We had an argument.
He pulled a knife on me, so I shot him.
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208. - Do you mind if I...
- Go right ahead. Plenty of room.
Copy !req
209. - Two beers, bartender.
- I'll take two beers, too.
Copy !req
210. Things seem to be getting better
around the country.
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211. I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself.
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212. I came back here looking for somebody.
You don't know who it is, do you?
Copy !req
213. It's a funny thing,
it just slipped my mind.
Copy !req
214. I know. The greatest tenor in the world.
That's what I'm after.
Copy !req
215. - Why, I'm his manager.
- Whose manager?
Copy !req
216. The greatest tenor in the world.
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217. - The fellow that sings at the opera here?
- Sure.
Copy !req
218. What's his name?
Copy !req
219. What do you care? I can't pronounce it.
What do you want with him?
Copy !req
220. I want to sign him up
for the New York Opera Company.
Copy !req
221. Do you know that America is waiting
to hear him sing?
Copy !req
222. He can sing loud
but he can't sing that loud.
Copy !req
223. I think I can get America
to meet him halfway.
Copy !req
224. Could he sail tomorrow?
Copy !req
225. You pay him enough money,
he could sail yesterday.
Copy !req
226. How much you pay him?
Copy !req
227. I don't know. Let's see, $1,000 a night.
Copy !req
228. I'm entitled to a small profit.
Copy !req
229. - How about $10 a night?
- $10?
Copy !req
230. I'll take it.
Copy !req
231. All right, but remember,
I get 10% for negotiating the deal.
Copy !req
232. Yes, and I get 10% for being the manager.
Copy !req
233. How much does that leave?
Copy !req
234. Well, that leaves him $8.
Copy !req
235. - He sends $5 home to his mother.
- That leaves $3.
Copy !req
236. Can he live in New York on $3?
Copy !req
237. Like a prince.
Copy !req
238. Of course, he won't be able to eat,
but he can live like a prince.
Copy !req
239. However, out of that $3,
he'll have to pay an income tax.
Copy !req
240. Yes, there's a federal tax, a state tax,
and a city tax...
Copy !req
241. a street tax, and a sewer tax.
Copy !req
242. How much does this come to?
Copy !req
243. I figure if he doesn't sing too often,
he can break even.
Copy !req
244. - All right, we take it.
- All right, fine.
Copy !req
245. Here are the contracts.
Copy !req
246. You just put his name at the top,
and you sign at the bottom.
Copy !req
247. No need of you reading that
because these are duplicates.
Copy !req
248. Yeah. Is a duplicate.
Copy !req
249. - Duplicates?
- I say, they're duplicates.
Copy !req
250. - Don't you know what duplicates are?
- Sure, those five kids up in Canada.
Copy !req
251. I wouldn't know about that.
I haven't been in Canada in years.
Copy !req
252. Go ahead and read it.
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253. - What does it say?
- Go on and read it.
Copy !req
254. - You read it.
- All right, I'll read it to you.
Copy !req
255. - Can you hear?
- I haven't heard anything yet.
Copy !req
256. - You say anything?
- I haven't said anything worth hearing.
Copy !req
257. That's why I didn't hear anything.
Copy !req
258. That's why I didn't say anything.
Copy !req
259. - Can you read?
- I can read, but I can't see it.
Copy !req
260. Don't seem to have it in focus here.
Copy !req
261. If my arms were a little longer,
I could read it.
Copy !req
262. You haven't got a baboon
in your pocket, have you?
Copy !req
263. Here we are. Now I've got it.
Copy !req
264. Pay particular attention to this first
clause because it's most important.
Copy !req
265. It says, "The party of the first part
shall be known in this contract...
Copy !req
266. "as the party of the first part."
Copy !req
267. How do you like that?
That's pretty neat, eh?
Copy !req
268. No, it's no good.
Copy !req
269. - What's the matter with it?
- I don't know. Let's hear it again.
Copy !req
270. "The party of the first part
shall be known in this contract...
Copy !req
271. "as the party of the first part."
Copy !req
272. Sounds a little better this time.
Copy !req
273. It grows on you.
Would you like to hear it once more?
Copy !req
274. Just the first part.
Copy !req
275. What? "The party of the first part"?
Copy !req
276. No. The first part
of "the party of the first part."
Copy !req
277. It says, "The first part
of the party of the first part...
Copy !req
278. "shall be known in this contract
as the first part of the party...
Copy !req
279. "Shall be known in this contract..."
Copy !req
280. Why should we quarrel about this?
We'll take it out.
Copy !req
281. Yeah. It's too long anyhow.
Copy !req
282. Now what do we got left?
Copy !req
283. I got about a foot-and-a-half.
Copy !req
284. It says, "The party of the second part
shall be known in this contract...
Copy !req
285. "as the party of the second part."
Copy !req
286. I don't know about that.
Copy !req
287. - Now what's the matter?
- I don't like the second party either.
Copy !req
288. You should have come to the first party.
We didn't get home till around 4:00 a.m.
Copy !req
289. I was blind for three days.
Copy !req
290. Why can't the first part
of the second party...
Copy !req
291. be the second part of the first party?
Then you got something.
Copy !req
292. Look, rather than go through that again,
what do you say...
Copy !req
293. Fine.
Copy !req
294. I've got something you're bound to like.
You'll be crazy about it.
Copy !req
295. No. I don't like it.
Copy !req
296. - You don't like what?
- Whatever it is, I don't like it.
Copy !req
297. Don't let's break up an old friendship
over a thing like that. Ready?
Copy !req
298. Okay.
Copy !req
299. The next part,
I don't think you're going to like.
Copy !req
300. Your word's good enough for me.
Is my word good enough for you?
Copy !req
301. - I should say not.
- That takes out two more clauses.
Copy !req
302. - "The party of the eighth part..."
- No, that's no good.
Copy !req
303. - "The party of the ninth..."
- No, that's no good, too.
Copy !req
304. How is it my contract
is skinnier than yours?
Copy !req
305. I don't know, you must have been out
on a tear last night.
Copy !req
306. - We're all set now, aren't we?
- Sure.
Copy !req
307. Just you put your name down there,
and then the deal is legal.
Copy !req
308. I forgot to tell you, I can't write.
Copy !req
309. That's all right,
there's no ink in the pen.
Copy !req
310. - But it's a contract, isn't it?
- Sure.
Copy !req
311. We've got a contract,
no matter how small it is.
Copy !req
312. Wait. What does this say here?
Copy !req
313. That? That's the usual clause.
That's in every contract.
Copy !req
314. That just says, "If any of the parties...
Copy !req
315. "participating in this contract...
Copy !req
316. "are shown not to be in their right mind...
Copy !req
317. "the entire agreement
is automatically nullified."
Copy !req
318. I don't know.
Copy !req
319. It's all right. That's in every contract.
Copy !req
320. That's what they call a sanity clause.
Copy !req
321. You can't fool me.
There ain't no Sanity Claus.
Copy !req
322. You win the white carnation.
Copy !req
323. - I'll give this to Riccardo.
- ... sensation in New York.
Copy !req
324. Could you tell me
where Signor Lassparri is?
Copy !req
325. Sure. There's Lassparri.
Copy !req
326. Lassparri? Then whom did I sign?
Copy !req
327. You signed Riccardo Baroni.
That's my man.
Copy !req
328. Signor Lassparri, what happened?
Copy !req
329. Speak to me. It's me, it's Gottlieb.
Copy !req
330. What is this now?
Copy !req
331. How early the fruit is falling this season.
Copy !req
332. - Are you sure you have everything, Otis?
- I've never had any complaints yet.
Copy !req
333. Here you are,
on your way to America and fame.
Copy !req
334. Riccardo, I'm going to miss you.
Copy !req
335. How do you think I feel about it?
Copy !req
336. Miss Castaldi, ready for the big trip?
Copy !req
337. Mr. Gottlieb. This is Riccardo Baroni
of the Opera Company.
Copy !req
338. - How do you do?
- Did you say Baroni?
Copy !req
339. Is it as funny as all that?
Copy !req
340. Mr. Otis B. Driftwood seems to think
you have quite a voice.
Copy !req
341. He has, Mr. Gottlieb, really he has,
a wonderful voice.
Copy !req
342. - Yes, really I have.
- That's interesting.
Copy !req
343. - Come on, Riccardo.
- No, thanks.
Copy !req
344. Come on, Ricky!
Copy !req
345. - Signor Lassparri.
- Yes?
Copy !req
346. - Will you give us a farewell song?
- Please!
Copy !req
347. Come on!
Copy !req
348. My dear friends,
I am so sorry, I must be excused...
Copy !req
349. but I have a slight touch of laryngitis.
Copy !req
350. - Where's Rosa?
- Yes, Rosa!
Copy !req
351. Why should I sing for them
when I'm not being paid for it?
Copy !req
352. - Please sing.
- No.
Copy !req
353. Yes, of course I'll sing.
Copy !req
354. Mr. Gottlieb.
Copy !req
355. Hasn't he a wonderful voice?
Copy !req
356. There must be a place for him
in New York.
Copy !req
357. Not a bad voice.
Copy !req
358. Someday, perhaps,
when he has made a reputation.
Copy !req
359. All visitors ashore!
Copy !req
360. Rosa!
Copy !req
361. We've come to say goodbye.
Copy !req
362. All right. Goodbye. Arrivederci.
Copy !req
363. Come on!
Copy !req
364. - All right, take it away.
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
365. Have I got time to go back
and pay my hotel bill?
Copy !req
366. - Sorry. Too late.
- That suits me fine.
Copy !req
367. That's mine. A trunk thief?
Copy !req
368. - Where you going with that?
- Suite number 58, sir.
Copy !req
369. Fifty-eight? That's me. Let's go.
Copy !req
370. What's the idea? Hit-and-run driver?
Copy !req
371. I'm sorry, sir.
Copy !req
372. Sorry, my eye. Look at that fender.
It's all bumped out of shape.
Copy !req
373. You'll pay for this, my good man.
Let me see your number.
Copy !req
374. Thirty-two? You got any insurance?
Copy !req
375. - What?
- Are you insured?
Copy !req
376. - No, sir.
- You're just the fellow I want to see.
Copy !req
377. I have an accident policy that protects you
no matter what happens.
Copy !req
378. If you lose a leg, we'll look for it.
All this will cost you is...
Copy !req
379. What have you got there?
$1. Here you are.
Copy !req
380. Let's go.
Copy !req
381. Suite 58,
and don't go over 20 miles an hour.
Copy !req
382. Say, was that three fellows
or one fellow with three beards?
Copy !req
383. Hi, Gottlieb,
always beating around the bush.
Copy !req
384. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
385. Anything I can do?
Copy !req
386. - Just a little homesick.
- That's funny.
Copy !req
387. I happen to have the greatest prescription
for homesickness you ever saw.
Copy !req
388. A fellow gave it to me
just before the boat sailed.
Copy !req
389. Here's the prescription,
and take it every two hours.
Copy !req
390. I'm going out
and getting another prescription.
Copy !req
391. - Hello, toots.
- Hello.
Copy !req
392. - Say, pretty classy layout you got here.
- Do you like it?
Copy !req
393. Twin beds. You little rascal, you.
Copy !req
394. - One of those is a day bed.
- A likely story.
Copy !req
395. Have you read any good books lately?
Copy !req
396. Mr. Driftwood,
will you please get off the bed?
Copy !req
397. - What would people say?
- They'd say you're a very lucky woman.
Copy !req
398. Will you please shut up
so I can continue reading?
Copy !req
399. No, I will not shut up.
And will you kindly get up at once?
Copy !req
400. All right, I'll go.
I'll make you another proposition.
Copy !req
401. Let's go in my room
and discuss the situation.
Copy !req
402. - What situation?
- What situations have you got?
Copy !req
403. I most certainly will not go
to your room.
Copy !req
404. Okay. Then I'll stay here.
Copy !req
405. All right.
Copy !req
406. I'll come, but get out.
Copy !req
407. Shall we say 10 minutes?
Copy !req
408. Yes, 10 minutes. Anything, but go.
Copy !req
409. Because if you're not there in 10 minutes,
I'll be back here in 11.
Copy !req
410. With squeaky shoes on.
Copy !req
411. - Wait a minute. This can't be my room.
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
412. Suite number 58, sir.
Copy !req
413. Fifty-eight? That's an awful big number
for a birdcage this size.
Copy !req
414. Wouldn't it be simpler
if you just put the stateroom in the trunk?
Copy !req
415. Say, who is responsible for installing me
in this telephone booth?
Copy !req
416. Mr. Gottlieb picked it out for you, sir.
Copy !req
417. Gottlieb? That's awfully decent of him.
Awfully decent.
Copy !req
418. Did he pick out the whole room
or just the porthole?
Copy !req
419. - I'm sure you'll find it cozy, sir.
- Cozy is hardly the word.
Copy !req
420. Anything else, sir?
Copy !req
421. Yes. Tomorrow you can take the trunk out
and I'll go in.
Copy !req
422. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
423. - Hello, boss. What are you doing here?
- Hello.
Copy !req
424. This makes it a perfect voyage.
Copy !req
425. - I'm sorry. I thought this was my trunk.
- It is your trunk.
Copy !req
426. I don't remember packing you boys.
Copy !req
427. Remember Riccardo Baroni,
the greatest tenor in the world?
Copy !req
428. You nearly signed him up once.
Copy !req
429. Sure. I just delivered a letter for you.
How are you?
Copy !req
430. - Good. Just a little cramped.
- We're still in the harbor.
Copy !req
431. As soon as we get out in the ocean,
there'll be plenty of room.
Copy !req
432. - Isn't that my shirt?
- I don't know. I found it in the trunk.
Copy !req
433. Then it couldn't be mine.
It's nice seeing you again.
Copy !req
434. But I was expecting my other suit.
Did you see it?
Copy !req
435. Yeah. Took up too much room,
so we sold it.
Copy !req
436. - Did you get anything for it?
- $1.40.
Copy !req
437. That's my suit, all right. Say, it's lucky
I left another shirt in this drawer.
Copy !req
438. That can't be my shirt.
My shirt doesn't snore.
Copy !req
439. Don't wake him up. He's got insomnia.
He's sleeping it off.
Copy !req
440. That's as grisly a looking object
as I've ever seen.
Copy !req
441. Get him up out of there.
Copy !req
442. He certainly is sleeping.
Copy !req
443. I wish you fellows
would explain this thing to me.
Copy !req
444. It's very simple.
You see, Riccardo, he's in love with Rosa.
Copy !req
445. Rosa, she go to New York.
We want to go to New York, too.
Copy !req
446. But we got no money,
so we hide in the trunk.
Copy !req
447. Without money,
what'll you do in New York?
Copy !req
448. I can sing. There must be
some place for me to work.
Copy !req
449. Besides, I can be near Rosa.
That's the main thing.
Copy !req
450. You won't give us away, will you?
Copy !req
451. No, but you fellows
have got to get out of here.
Copy !req
452. I've got a date with a lady
in a few minutes...
Copy !req
453. and you know the old saying:
"Two's company, five's a crowd."
Copy !req
454. We go, but we want something to eat.
We no eat all day. We're hungry.
Copy !req
455. We'll discuss the food situation later.
Copy !req
456. We get food, or we don't go.
Copy !req
457. I know I never should have
met you fellows.
Copy !req
458. Okay. But promise to scram out
after you've eaten.
Copy !req
459. - All right.
- I'll get the steward.
Copy !req
460. You fellows be quiet.
Remember, you're stowaways.
Copy !req
461. - We no say nothing.
- All right.
Copy !req
462. Now, just put that bag of Jell-O over here.
Copy !req
463. Wouldn't it be simpler
if you had him stuffed?
Copy !req
464. - He's no olive.
- I'll go and get the steward.
Copy !req
465. Is it the door of the room,
or am I in the trunk?
Copy !req
466. Over here.
Copy !req
467. Be quiet, now. Don't make any noise.
Copy !req
468. - We no say nothing.
- I'll get the steward.
Copy !req
469. Steward!
Copy !req
470. - Stew!
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
471. - I say, stew...
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
472. - What's for dinner?
- Anything you like.
Copy !req
473. You might have tomato juice, orange juice,
grape juice, pineapple juice...
Copy !req
474. Turn off the juice
before I get electrocuted.
Copy !req
475. All right, let me have one of each.
Copy !req
476. And two fried eggs, two poached eggs...
Copy !req
477. two scrambled eggs,
and two medium-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
478. And two hard-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
479. And two hard-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
480. Make that three hard-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
481. And some roast beef:
rare, medium, well-done, and overdone.
Copy !req
482. And two hard-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
483. Make that three hard-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
484. And eight pieces of French pastry.
Copy !req
485. - With two hard-boiled eggs.
- And two hard-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
486. Make that three hard-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
487. And one duck egg.
Copy !req
488. - Have you got any stewed prunes?
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
489. Give them some black coffee.
That'll sober them up.
Copy !req
490. And two hard-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
491. It's either foggy out,
or make that 12 more hard-boiled eggs.
Copy !req
492. Rush that along. The faster it comes,
the faster this convention will be over.
Copy !req
493. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
494. - Do they allow tipping on the boat?
- Yes, sir!
Copy !req
495. - Have you got two fives?
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
496. Then you won't need the 10 cents
I was gonna give you.
Copy !req
497. That's fine. If that steward
is deaf and dumb...
Copy !req
498. - he'll never know you're in here.
- That's all right.
Copy !req
499. - Yes?
- We've come to make up your room.
Copy !req
500. - Are those my hard-boiled eggs?
- I can't tell until they get in the room.
Copy !req
501. Come in, girls. Leave all hope behind.
Copy !req
502. Work fast because
you gotta get out in 10 minutes.
Copy !req
503. Tomasso. Wake up.
They're going to fix the bed.
Copy !req
504. I'd like two pillows on that bed there.
Copy !req
505. There's a slight misunderstanding here.
Copy !req
506. I said the girls had to work fast,
not your friend.
Copy !req
507. He's still asleep.
Copy !req
508. You know, he does better asleep
than I do awake.
Copy !req
509. Yeah, he always sleeps that way.
Copy !req
510. - Now he's half-asleep.
- Yes, he's half-asleep in a half Nelson.
Copy !req
511. - All right, come on.
- Yes?
Copy !req
512. I'm the engineer.
I'm here to turn off the heat.
Copy !req
513. You can start right in on him.
Copy !req
514. Wake up, Tomasso.
Copy !req
515. Tomasso, we're going to eat soon.
Copy !req
516. You know, if it wasn't for Gottlieb,
I wouldn't have got this room.
Copy !req
517. Just hold him there a second.
Copy !req
518. - Yes?
- Did you want a manicure?
Copy !req
519. No. Come on in.
Copy !req
520. I hadn't planned on a manicure,
but on a journey like this...
Copy !req
521. you ought to have
every convenience you can get.
Copy !req
522. Listen, I'm getting the manicure.
Get out of here, will you?
Copy !req
523. Did you want your nails long or short?
Copy !req
524. You better make them short.
It's getting kind of crowded in here.
Copy !req
525. I don't know. This isn't the way
I pictured an ocean voyage.
Copy !req
526. I always visualized myself in a steamer
chair with a steward bringing me bouillon.
Copy !req
527. Come on, Riccardo.
Copy !req
528. You couldn't get bouillon in here unless
they brought it in through a keyhole.
Copy !req
529. I'm the engineer's assistant.
Copy !req
530. I had a premonition
you were going to show up.
Copy !req
531. The engineer's over there in the corner.
You can chop your way right through.
Copy !req
532. Is it my imagination,
or is it getting crowded in here?
Copy !req
533. I got plenty of room.
Copy !req
534. - Yes?
- Is my Aunt Minnie in here?
Copy !req
535. You can come in and prowl around
if you want to.
Copy !req
536. If she isn't in here, you can probably
find somebody just as good.
Copy !req
537. - Could I use your phone?
- Use the phone?
Copy !req
538. - I'll lay you even money you can't get in.
- How do you do?
Copy !req
539. This boat will be in New York
before you get to that phone.
Copy !req
540. I came to mop up.
Copy !req
541. Just the woman I'm looking for.
Come right ahead.
Copy !req
542. You have to start on the ceiling.
It's the only place that's not occupied.
Copy !req
543. - You can clean my shoes if you want to.
- Operator.
Copy !req
544. Tell Aunt Minnie to send up
a bigger room, will you?
Copy !req
545. - Steward.
- Come right ahead.
Copy !req
546. - The food!
- We've been waiting all afternoon for you.
Copy !req
547. I want my Aunt Minnie!
Copy !req
548. Ladies and gentlemen...
Copy !req
549. it's with great pleasure I welcome you all
on this, the final night of the voyage.
Copy !req
550. I cannot let the evening pass...
Copy !req
551. without paying a little tribute
to our distinguished guests of honor:
Copy !req
552. the three greatest aviators in the world.
Copy !req
553. Three greatest aviators,
but notice they're traveling by boat.
Copy !req
554. We are honored
by your presence, gentlemen.
Copy !req
555. - Thank you.
- Thank you, Captain.
Copy !req
556. - Do you rumba?
- Why, yes. Of course I do.
Copy !req
557. Take a rumba from one to ten.
Copy !req
558. Mr. Claypool went to his reward
three years ago.
Copy !req
559. - And left you all alone.
- All alone.
Copy !req
560. With $8 million.
Copy !req
561. $8 million.
Copy !req
562. Gottlieb, you're just wasting your time.
Copy !req
563. If Mrs. Claypool wants to marry
a fortune hunter, she's got me.
Copy !req
564. Fortune hunter?
Copy !req
565. As a matter of fact,
you can't call me a fortune hunter.
Copy !req
566. Because when I proposed to her,
I thought she only had $7 million.
Copy !req
567. But the extra million has never interfered
with my feelings for her.
Copy !req
568. If you had any real feeling for me...
Copy !req
569. you'd stop associating
with the riffraff I've seen you with.
Copy !req
570. You mean Gottlieb?
Copy !req
571. I mean those two uncouth men
I saw you around the opera house with.
Copy !req
572. I'm grateful they're not on board the boat.
Copy !req
573. - Why, have they slipped off?
- Sit down.
Copy !req
574. Come on, we find something to eat.
Copy !req
575. You think it's safe?
If they catch us, they'll deport us.
Copy !req
576. What will we lose?
If we're deported, they'll feed us.
Copy !req
577. Come on, we'll take a chance.
Copy !req
578. Does it mean nothing to you
that I'm the world's greatest singer?
Copy !req
579. - But I love to hear you sing, Rodolfo.
- No.
Copy !req
580. Let me put it this way. I love you.
Copy !req
581. I adore you. I would die for you.
Copy !req
582. - Now do you understand?
- I'm afraid I don't.
Copy !req
583. The whole thing is very simple.
Copy !req
584. When he says he's the greatest singer,
it means he loves you.
Copy !req
585. Personally, I don't believe
either statement.
Copy !req
586. There may be something in what you say.
Copy !req
587. I'll tell you something confidentially.
Copy !req
588. The only tenor I could ever stand
was a fellow by the name...
Copy !req
589. of Riccardo Baroni.
Copy !req
590. - Ever hear of him?
- Riccardo.
Copy !req
591. I wonder where he is right now.
Copy !req
592. Probably roaming
over the countryside someplace.
Copy !req
593. Riccardo always loved the open.
He never could stand being cooped up.
Copy !req
594. He still doesn't like it.
Copy !req
595. Tomasso, you feel better now?
And, you, Riccardo, how do you feel?
Copy !req
596. After a meal like that? Great.
I could sing my head off.
Copy !req
597. That's the spirit.
Copy !req
598. Stop that! Get away
from those instruments!
Copy !req
599. - What are you doing here?
- Please let him play.
Copy !req
600. Let him play.
Copy !req
601. It's all right with me. Let him play.
Copy !req
602. Those men can't be passengers
on this boat.
Copy !req
603. - They must be stowaways.
- Stowaways? We'll soon find out.
Copy !req
604. What are you... Are you crazy?
Copy !req
605. You got it. Fine.
Now you go first and see if it's safe.
Copy !req
606. Come on. Hold on. Out you go.
Copy !req
607. You're all right,
but the boat's too far away.
Copy !req
608. What's he doing now?
Copy !req
609. I think he's hanging himself.
Copy !req
610. - Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to—
- Quiet.
Copy !req
611. Our guests have asked me to represent
them and to act as their interpreter.
Copy !req
612. If you'll follow me,
I'll take you to their cabin.
Copy !req
613. If they're still in it,
very few of us will come out alive.
Copy !req
614. Pardon me. Our guests
are having their shredded wheat.
Copy !req
615. They'll be right out.
Copy !req
616. Gentlemen.
Copy !req
617. - "Kind friends—"
- Give me that. Let's cut this short.
Copy !req
618. The whole thing is very simple.
You're going to City Hall.
Copy !req
619. The Mayor's gonna make another speech.
Copy !req
620. We can tear up the Mayor's speech
when we get there.
Copy !req
621. So, my friends,
as mayor of this great city...
Copy !req
622. I take pleasure in inviting
our distinguished visitors...
Copy !req
623. to tell us something
about their achievement.
Copy !req
624. What'll I say?
Copy !req
625. - Tell them you're not here.
- Suppose they don't believe me?
Copy !req
626. They'll believe you when you start talking.
Copy !req
627. Friends...
Copy !req
628. Talk fast.
I see a man in the crowd with a rope.
Copy !req
629. How we happen to come to America
is a great story, but I no tell that.
Copy !req
630. When we first started out...
Copy !req
631. we got no idea
you give us this grand reception.
Copy !req
632. We don't deserve it.
Copy !req
633. When I say we don't deserve it...
Copy !req
634. believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
Copy !req
635. That's a novelty.
Copy !req
636. Now I tell you how we fly to America.
Copy !req
637. The first time, we get halfway across
when we run out of gasoline.
Copy !req
638. We got to go back.
Copy !req
639. Then I take twice as much gasoline.
Copy !req
640. This time, we were just about to land,
maybe 3 feet...
Copy !req
641. when, what do you think,
we run out of gasoline again.
Copy !req
642. Back we go and get more gas.
Copy !req
643. This time, I take plenty gas.
Copy !req
644. We get halfway over,
when what do you think happened?
Copy !req
645. We forgot the airplane.
Copy !req
646. So we sit down and talk it over.
Copy !req
647. Then I get the great idea...
Copy !req
648. we no take gasoline.
We no take the airplane.
Copy !req
649. We take steamship.
Copy !req
650. And that, friends,
is how we fly across the ocean.
Copy !req
651. I'm going out to arrange your bail.
Copy !req
652. This is the mayor again.
Copy !req
653. And now I take great pleasure
in introducing another of our heroes...
Copy !req
654. who will tell you something
of his exploits.
Copy !req
655. Of course.
Copy !req
656. From now on, it's every man for himself.
Copy !req
657. I would suggest you make your speech
a little more direct than your brother's.
Copy !req
658. What will you give me
to set fire to your beard?
Copy !req
659. We're all right
as long as the water supply holds out.
Copy !req
660. Please, the radio. Your speech.
Copy !req
661. They may have to build
a dam in the back of him.
Copy !req
662. I think these fellas are phonies.
Copy !req
663. - What's that you say?
- You heard me.
Copy !req
664. You hear what they say?
Copy !req
665. They've never been so insulted,
and they refuse to stay.
Copy !req
666. No, please. Tell them he didn't mean it.
Copy !req
667. Of course, you know this means war.
Copy !req
668. Now see what you've done.
Copy !req
669. I'm sorry. I'm awful sorry.
Copy !req
670. I apologize,
and I hope you're not offended.
Copy !req
671. Go on! After him!
Copy !req
672. Come on, get him.
Copy !req
673. What are you singing about? Read this.
Copy !req
674. What will you do?
Copy !req
675. First, I'll throw those two gorillas out.
That goes for you, too.
Copy !req
676. Thought I got rid of those mugs
when I sold my trunk.
Copy !req
677. Kiddies, come on, everything is piping hot.
Copy !req
678. Breakfast.
Copy !req
679. Good morning. Oh, boy, I'm hungry.
Copy !req
680. Read that.
That will take away your appetite.
Copy !req
681. No. That only makes me hungrier.
Copy !req
682. Come on. You're going to be late for jail.
Copy !req
683. Those certainly went like hot cakes.
Copy !req
684. You know, this isn't the way
I anticipated my breakfast.
Copy !req
685. I'm certainly getting enough of you fellas.
Copy !req
686. - I no like cupcakes.
- No.
Copy !req
687. I know when I've had enough...
Copy !req
688. Say, wait a minute.
That was a two-bit cigar.
Copy !req
689. Bad enough I have to smoke those things
without eating them.
Copy !req
690. Get out.
Copy !req
691. Glad I didn't bring my vest.
Copy !req
692. I forgot to tell you.
He ate your vest last night for dessert.
Copy !req
693. He's half goat.
Copy !req
694. Yes, and that's giving him
all the best of it.
Copy !req
695. Thought I had another cigar on me.
Copy !req
696. He's going to smell like a vegetable salad
when he gets through with that.
Copy !req
697. I've been looking forward to this breakfast.
I've been waiting all morning.
Copy !req
698. This is how it wound up.
Copy !req
699. - I'll take a quart.
- A little of that, anyway.
Copy !req
700. Why don't you fellows be nice?
Get out of here before I get arrested.
Copy !req
701. I'd like to stay and see that.
Copy !req
702. What's that?
Copy !req
703. If it's a policeman, knock once more.
Copy !req
704. - That's good enough for me.
- Scram, get out.
Copy !req
705. Come in.
Copy !req
706. - Yes?
- You remember me.
Copy !req
707. I'm Henderson, plainclothesman.
Copy !req
708. You look more like
an old clothes man to me.
Copy !req
709. - Nice place.
- It's comfortable.
Copy !req
710. You live here all alone?
Copy !req
711. Yes. Just me and my memories.
Copy !req
712. - I'm practically a hermit.
- A hermit.
Copy !req
713. I notice the table is set for four.
Copy !req
714. That's nothing.
My alarm clock is set for 8:00.
Copy !req
715. That doesn't prove a thing.
Copy !req
716. A wise guy.
Copy !req
717. I'll take a little look around.
Copy !req
718. - Hey, you.
- Coming.
Copy !req
719. What's a hermit doing with four beds?
Copy !req
720. - You see those first three beds?
- Yes.
Copy !req
721. Last night, I counted 5,000 sheep
on those beds.
Copy !req
722. So I had to have another bed.
Copy !req
723. You wouldn't want me
to sleep with the sheep, would you?
Copy !req
724. - Who are you talking to?
- I was talking to myself.
Copy !req
725. There's nothing you can do about it.
Copy !req
726. - I've had three of the best doctors.
- I certainly heard somebody talk.
Copy !req
727. - Sheer folly on your part.
- What's this?
Copy !req
728. That's a fire escape.
Copy !req
729. That's a table. This is a room.
Copy !req
730. There's the door leading out.
I wish you would use it.
Copy !req
731. - I want to be alone.
- You'll be alone when I throw you in jail.
Copy !req
732. Isn't there a song like that, Henderson?
Copy !req
733. Look out.
He's coming around the other way.
Copy !req
734. Get inside, quick.
Copy !req
735. It means a stretch at the big house
if he catches you.
Copy !req
736. Don't let him catch you.
Copy !req
737. - Hey, you!
- Coming.
Copy !req
738. What became of that fourth bed?
Copy !req
739. What are you referring to, Colonel?
Copy !req
740. Last time I was in this room,
there were four beds here.
Copy !req
741. Please. I'm not interested
in your private life, Henderson.
Copy !req
742. Say, what's that bed doing here?
Copy !req
743. I don't see it doing anything.
Copy !req
744. There's something funny going on here.
But I'll get to the bottom of it.
Copy !req
745. Stairs right there.
Copy !req
746. Look out!
Copy !req
747. - Be on your guard.
- Hey, you!
Copy !req
748. Coming.
Copy !req
749. Am I crazy,
or are there only two beds here?
Copy !req
750. Which question
do you want me to answer first?
Copy !req
751. How did those two beds get together?
Copy !req
752. You know how those things are.
They breed like rabbits.
Copy !req
753. Let me tell you something.
Copy !req
754. I'll solve this
if I have to stay here all night.
Copy !req
755. - If you stay, you'll have to bring a bed.
- One bed!
Copy !req
756. One bed? What are you talking about?
Copy !req
757. Now they're all gone. I know I am crazy.
Copy !req
758. I beg your pardon,
I must be in the wrong room.
Copy !req
759. You thought you could come to America
without me?
Copy !req
760. You fool. You dear fool.
Copy !req
761. Because I love you, you call me a fool.
There may be something in that.
Copy !req
762. - What are you doing here?
- Easiest thing in the world.
Copy !req
763. An open window,
a detective, and here I am.
Copy !req
764. Riccardo, you shouldn't have.
Copy !req
765. They'll only send you back again.
Copy !req
766. - Perhaps even put you in jail.
- I don't care, darling. It's worth it.
Copy !req
767. Suppose I go to Mr. Gottlieb.
Maybe he'd intercede for you.
Copy !req
768. Gottlieb couldn't do anything.
Besides, Lassparri's got to him first.
Copy !req
769. But there must be something we can do.
Copy !req
770. - Who is it?
- It is I. Rodolfo.
Copy !req
771. Come in.
Copy !req
772. Do you mind my dropping down?
Copy !req
773. No, of course not.
Only, I was just going to take a nap.
Copy !req
774. - Rosa, why do you do this to me?
- Do what, Rodolfo?
Copy !req
775. Whenever I want to see you,
you make some excuse.
Copy !req
776. You will not dine with me, ride with me,
or even take a walk with me.
Copy !req
777. But, Rodolfo, you know how busy I am.
Copy !req
778. My debut in America.
Copy !req
779. Have you forgotten that it was I...
Copy !req
780. who brought about your debut in America?
Copy !req
781. No, I haven't forgotten.
Copy !req
782. Then why do you treat me this way?
Copy !req
783. Rodolfo, I must ask you to leave.
Copy !req
784. Come now, my dear. Be sensible.
Copy !req
785. If you ask me,
I think she's being very sensible.
Copy !req
786. Baroni.
Copy !req
787. Now I understand.
Copy !req
788. You did not tell me
you had a previous engagement.
Copy !req
789. Now you know it.
Copy !req
790. And I apologize.
Copy !req
791. Now, permit me to withdraw.
Copy !req
792. In a boudoir, two are company,
three a crowd.
Copy !req
793. - Just what do you mean by that?
- Please, Riccardo.
Copy !req
794. Surely I have made my meaning clear.
Copy !req
795. Riccardo!
Copy !req
796. You have not heard the end of this.
Copy !req
797. - I'm sure I haven't.
- You may be very sure.
Copy !req
798. - Good afternoon, Mr. Driftwood.
- Good afternoon.
Copy !req
799. - Ready for the opening tonight?
- Am I?
Copy !req
800. That's all right, boys.
I was young myself once.
Copy !req
801. Thank you.
Copy !req
802. Good morning, Mr. Driftwood.
Copy !req
803. - How are all my songbirds?
- Fine.
Copy !req
804. Splendid. Sing well tonight, now.
Copy !req
805. Waiting for you, Mr. Driftwood.
Step right in.
Copy !req
806. Thank you, Otto.
Copy !req
807. - Nice day, isn't it?
- It has its points.
Copy !req
808. Here you are, sir.
Copy !req
809. - Thank you, Otto.
- That's all right, Mr. Driftwood.
Copy !req
810. What's all this? What's going on here?
Copy !req
811. You mean, what's coming off here?
Copy !req
812. - You can't do that.
- Wanna bet?
Copy !req
813. But that's my office.
Copy !req
814. I'm taking orders from Mr. Gottlieb.
Go see him about it.
Copy !req
815. I'll see Mr. Gottlieb,
and I'll break you, my fine fellow.
Copy !req
816. Go see Mr. Gottlieb.
Copy !req
817. What's the meaning of this?
If you think that I'm going to...
Copy !req
818. If you're busy, I'll return later.
Copy !req
819. Just a minute, Mr. Driftwood.
We have some news for you.
Copy !req
820. News? For me?
Copy !req
821. Mrs. Claypool has decided to dispense
with your services immediately.
Copy !req
822. Dispense with my services?
She hasn't even had them.
Copy !req
823. I warned you, if you continued to associate
with those men...
Copy !req
824. everything would be over between us.
Copy !req
825. And you've been associating with them.
Copy !req
826. How do you know? You couldn't find them.
Copy !req
827. You've disgraced me,
and the entire Opera Company.
Copy !req
828. As Mrs. Claypool's
new business manager...
Copy !req
829. I must request you to get out and stay out.
Copy !req
830. Just a minute. You can't fire me
without two weeks' salary.
Copy !req
831. That's in section 10-A of my contract.
Copy !req
832. I find that you have overdrawn your salary
for the next six months.
Copy !req
833. - In that case, I'll take one week's salary.
- You'll take nothing. Get out.
Copy !req
834. If that's your best offer, I'll get out,
but I'm not making a nickel on it.
Copy !req
835. As for you, Mrs. Claypool,
I withdraw my offer of marriage.
Copy !req
836. And that goes for you, too.
Copy !req
837. The thanks I get
for working my fingers to the bone.
Copy !req
838. - All right, Otto.
- Just a minute.
Copy !req
839. This car is for officials. Take the stairs.
Copy !req
840. - The stairs?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
841. Why, that's four flights.
I can't walk all that distance.
Copy !req
842. All right. I'll help you.
Copy !req
843. - Now there's room.
- That's all I needed.
Copy !req
844. I'm certainly glad I met you boys.
Copy !req
845. First you get me fired,
then you get me thrown out of my hotel...
Copy !req
846. and finally you push me off a park bench.
Copy !req
847. There's one consolation.
Nothing more can happen to me.
Copy !req
848. Get off of the grass.
Copy !req
849. I was wrong.
Copy !req
850. People drink too much water, anyhow.
Copy !req
851. I'm certainly glad you came along.
Copy !req
852. When I met you boys, I had a good job
and was about to marry a rich widow.
Copy !req
853. Now I can't even sit on the grass.
Copy !req
854. I'd give you my seat, but I'm sitting here.
Copy !req
855. That's an offer. I'd like to think it
over for a couple of days.
Copy !req
856. Where can I find you?
Copy !req
857. Don't worry.
Wherever you are, you'll find us.
Copy !req
858. I'm sick of that.
Let's meet somewhere else.
Copy !req
859. It's Rosa.
Copy !req
860. At least I can get my bench back.
Copy !req
861. Don't feel so badly, Riccardo.
Copy !req
862. I can't feel cheerful
about being such a hoodoo to you.
Copy !req
863. We all make things bad for you.
Copy !req
864. What's the matter?
Copy !req
865. What do you think?
Lassparri. He'll get Rosa fired.
Copy !req
866. - Lassparri?
- He won't let her sing tonight.
Copy !req
867. What do you know about that?
Copy !req
868. We've got all day to think of some plan.
Copy !req
869. And believe me,
the way I think, it'll take all day.
Copy !req
870. - Good evening, Tim.
- Good evening.
Copy !req
871. Plenty for you tonight.
Copy !req
872. - Thank you.
- You're welcome, sir.
Copy !req
873. What does this mean?
Copy !req
874. Just the man I want to see.
Copy !req
875. Gottlieb, these are the worst cigars
I ever smoked.
Copy !req
876. Yes, and your ice isn't cold enough, either.
Copy !req
877. Get out of here, all of you.
I shall send for the police.
Copy !req
878. Just a minute.
I'll tell you what we came here for.
Copy !req
879. We make you a proposition.
Copy !req
880. So you're willing to give yourselves up?
Copy !req
881. Yes, if you let Rosa sing.
Copy !req
882. I'm managing director,
and Rosa does not sing.
Copy !req
883. But the rest of your proposition...
Copy !req
884. giving yourselves up,
that rather appeals to me.
Copy !req
885. Give me police headquarters.
Sergeant Henderson, please.
Copy !req
886. Hello, toots.
Copy !req
887. What are you doing here?
This is Mr. Gottlieb's box.
Copy !req
888. He couldn't come,
so he gave me his ticket.
Copy !req
889. And he couldn't get dressed,
so he gave me his clothes.
Copy !req
890. Shorty, will you toss up that kelly?
Copy !req
891. Attaboy. Here.
Copy !req
892. Get yourself a stogy.
Copy !req
893. Who's ahead?
Copy !req
894. Open the door.
Copy !req
895. Get me police headquarters.
Copy !req
896. Mrs. Claypool,
have you seen Mr. Gottlieb?
Copy !req
897. No. Isn't he backstage?
Copy !req
898. He's disappeared.
We can't find him anywhere.
Copy !req
899. You didn't look in the right place.
Copy !req
900. He was to make a speech
before the curtain went up.
Copy !req
901. That's the cue.
You'd better say something.
Copy !req
902. But I never made a speech in my life.
Copy !req
903. - All right, I'll take care of it.
- You?
Copy !req
904. Ladies and gentlemen...
Copy !req
905. I guess that takes in most of you.
Copy !req
906. This is the opening of a new opera season.
Copy !req
907. A season made possible
by the generous checks of Mrs. Claypool.
Copy !req
908. I'm sure the familiar strains of Verdi's
music will come back to you tonight...
Copy !req
909. and Mrs. Claypool's checks
will probably come back in the morning.
Copy !req
910. Tonight marks the American debut
of Rodolfo Lassparri.
Copy !req
911. Signor Lassparri comes
from a very famous family.
Copy !req
912. His mother was a well-known bass singer.
Copy !req
913. His father was the first man to stuff
spaghetti with bicarbonate of soda...
Copy !req
914. thus causing and curing indigestion
at the same time.
Copy !req
915. Now, on with the opera.
Let joy be unconfined.
Copy !req
916. Let there be dancing in the streets...
Copy !req
917. drinking in the saloons,
and necking in the parlor.
Copy !req
918. Play, Don.
Copy !req
919. I'll take this side.
Copy !req
920. It's none of my business...
Copy !req
921. but I think there's a brace of woodpeckers
in the orchestra.
Copy !req
922. Don't give up, boys. The cavalry is coming.
Copy !req
923. - I'll see you later.
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
924. It's all right. It's just the Tarzan in me.
Copy !req
925. That schweinhund.
Copy !req
926. Peanuts! Get your fresh
roasted peanuts, folks!
Copy !req
927. They're nice and hot! Get your peanuts!
Copy !req
928. Here you are!
Copy !req
929. There you are, you...
Copy !req
930. What are you laughing at?
Copy !req
931. - Those clothes don't fit you.
- Why you...
Copy !req
932. You're getting to be
a good shot, Tomasso.
Copy !req
933. The opera starts.
Now we really go to work.
Copy !req
934. The curtain's up.
Copy !req
935. - They've started.
- Now, don't worry.
Copy !req
936. Someone open the door here!
Copy !req
937. Let me out of here!
Copy !req
938. Herr Gottlieb.
Copy !req
939. - Where are they? Where did they go?
- What?
Copy !req
940. "What," he asks me.
Copy !req
941. - Did a couple of men come up here?
- What?
Copy !req
942. "What?" All I get is "what."
Copy !req
943. How would you like to feel
the way she looks?
Copy !req
944. That is Driftwood's voice.
Copy !req
945. - I want him put out of the opera house.
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
946. That's right. You go talk to him.
Copy !req
947. We know he's in the audience someplace.
Copy !req
948. - Where's Mr. Gottlieb?
- The other side of the stage.
Copy !req
949. Come on, boys.
Copy !req
950. What was that? High "C" or vitamin "D"?
Copy !req
951. What's the matter? What happened here?
Copy !req
952. Mr. Gottlieb! Here, give me a hand.
Copy !req
953. Where are those men?
Did you catch them?
Copy !req
954. No, sir. I'm sorry.
They're still out there.
Copy !req
955. Still out there?
Copy !req
956. I have an idea.
Get me two gypsy costumes at once.
Copy !req
957. Now we're getting somewhere.
Copy !req
958. I will not sing unless
they are put off there.
Copy !req
959. Yes, sir.
Copy !req
960. A battleship in Il Trovatore!
Copy !req
961. Stop! Don't you do—
Copy !req
962. Herr Gottlieb! Lassparri, he's disappeared.
Copy !req
963. What?
Copy !req
964. - Then we haven't even a tenor.
- Mr. Gottlieb.
Copy !req
965. - You are Baroni.
- That's who I am.
Copy !req
966. Get into a costume quickly.
Copy !req
967. - What?
- I want you to sing.
Copy !req
968. But I have no reputation, Mr. Gottlieb.
Copy !req
969. Besides, I couldn't sing
with a strange Leonora.
Copy !req
970. I've been rehearsing with Miss Castaldi.
Copy !req
971. - So that's it.
- That's it exactly.
Copy !req
972. All right.
Get them two costumes at once. Quick.
Copy !req
973. Please, after the opera.
Go ahead. Get ready.
Copy !req
974. You hear that? That's real singing.
Copy !req
975. - What?
- Get off!
Copy !req
976. Is this the opera house?
Copy !req
977. Arrest those men, and this one, too.
Copy !req
978. - It's about time.
- Lassparri, where have you been?
Copy !req
979. Been? Do you know what they did to me?
Copy !req
980. I'll sing them an encore
that they'll never forget.
Copy !req
981. Never in my life
have I received such treatment.
Copy !req
982. They threw an apple at me.
Copy !req
983. Watermelons are out of season.
Copy !req
984. Rosa, Baroni, get out there quick.
Copy !req
985. No. I'm under arrest, Mr. Gottlieb.
Copy !req
986. - What's that?
- If they're arrested, I ought to be, too.
Copy !req
987. I can't sing if I'm arrested.
Copy !req
988. What do we do?
Copy !req
989. We must have them.
They'll save the entire season.
Copy !req
990. Well, what is it you want?
Copy !req
991. Just a minute. Let me handle this.
Copy !req
992. - Quick! What do you want?
- First, call off that police dog.
Copy !req
993. All right, anything.
Copy !req
994. These men are in this country
under false pretenses, and I'll do my duty.
Copy !req
995. I'll be responsible for them.
Copy !req
996. Besides, they came over here
with Mr. Driftwood.
Copy !req
997. Mr. Driftwood is an employee
of the Opera Company.
Copy !req
998. - Since when?
- Since Baroni started singing.
Copy !req
999. Wait till I get a hold
of that elevator operator.
Copy !req
1000. All right, anything.
Please, go out and sing.
Copy !req
1001. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
1002. Before he sings, you gotta sign a contract,
and I get 10%.
Copy !req
1003. Yes, and I get 10%, too.
Copy !req
1004. Now, where were we?
Copy !req
1005. - "The party of the 10th part..."
- No.
Copy !req
1006. - "The party of the 11th part..."
- No.
Copy !req