A Keller Christmas Vacation (2025)

1. [ROYAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA, "WALTZ,

2. ON THE BEAUTIFUL BLUE DANUBE, OP.314]

3. ON THE BEAUTIFUL BLUE DANUBE, OP.314]

4. ON THE BEAUTIFUL BLUE DANUBE, OP.314]

5. Oh, danke.

6. Or danke.

7. Oh, I'm just gonna text this.

8. There we go.

9. OK.

10. Are you ready?

11. Only 50 years in the making.

12. Now, you are gonna have some spaetzle.

13. Oh, what's spaetzle?

14. It's German mac and cheese.

15. So I've been watching the tapes.

16. And there's a kid, Jalen Cruz.

17. Fifth-ranked QB out of Dallas.

18. Oh, my gosh.

19. You gotta see this kid.

20. I mean, he's got the pocket poise of Brady.

21. He's got the gun like Lamar.

22. And he's only a sophomore.

23. I mean, this is the perfect fit for your offense.

24. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

25. I know that look.

26. I'm gonna do it, buddy.

27. I'm gonna tell Lauren that I love her.

28. Are you sure it's not too late?

29. I have to try.

30. It's now or never.

31. At her bon voyage party, with her boyfriend?

32. What choice do I have?

33. She's moving across the country tomorrow, to Maine.

34. You could have told her sooner.

35. Yeah, maybe you forgot.

36. I was a little preoccupied with a marriage I was trying to save.

37. No, I mean before that.

38. Everyone's known that Lauren's had a crush on you

39. since college.

40. Yeah, but I didn't know.

41. Well, maybe it would have saved you a divorce if you

42. would have figured that out.

43. Not helpful.

44. Look, I have to fix this ASAP.

45. And then what?

46. Tomorrow morning, you're leaving for Europe on this family

47. togetherness thing.

48. Christmas cruise on the Danube.

49. What if she says she loves you back?

50. What are you gonna do?

51. You're just gonna turn and go to Europe?

52. - No, she can come with. - What about her boyfriend?

53. Oh, he's not invited.

54. Oh.

55. It's romantic, right?

56. Unless she's actually in love with the guy.

57. In that case, super awkward, potentially creepy.

58. And you run the risk of losing a lifelong friend.

59. But, I mean, you know I'm rooting for you.

60. Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy.

61. Watch that tape.

62. This is the future of our program.

63. Yeah.

64. Hey.

65. Christmas potluck is about to start.

66. Marge made this thing called jingle juice.

67. I've had one.

68. I have so very many questions.

69. I'm uninspired.

70. You're the top developer in the industry.

71. And thus my lack of inspiration.

72. I can't go any higher if I keep doing the same thing.

73. Maybe your trip abroad will inspire you.

74. Please, my parents will have us

75. scarf deep in Christmas bonding activities.

76. I won't have time to be inspired.

77. You're a real tree topper today, huh?

78. Sorry.

79. I think I'm just nervous about tonight.

80. Oh, fret not.

81. Everything's set up by me.

82. You're welcome.

83. Yes, but William—

84. But William what?

85. What are you doing here?

86. Absolutely not.

87. You better finish that sentence right now, mister.

88. Or do I have to stand back here and eavesdrop?

89. But William will probably have his surgery go over and be late.

90. Yes, probably.

91. Be late for what?

92. I can hear the telephone.

93. Excuse me, gentlemen.

94. Be late for what?

95. Dinner tonight.

96. Mm-hmm.

97. You and me, to celebrate the five-year

98. anniversary of our meet cute.

99. Our anniversary is on Christmas Eve, darling.

100. It's not for another week.

101. When we will be sailing down the Danube,

102. about to stop in Durken—

103. Deggendorf.

104. All German cities sound alike.

105. Sure.

106. Um, on Christmas Eve, we're going to be in Austria.

107. Vienna, in fact, which is the most special city

108. to spend Christmas.

109. And we will be surrounded by my entire family with zero alone

110. time.

111. Hmm.

112. What?

113. Oh, no.

114. What's that look?

115. Are you having second thoughts about going on this trip?

116. Look, I know I vent to you about these "forced family fun"

117. gatherings, but they're not as bad as I make them out to be,

118. mostly.

119. I mean, Cal is uber competitive, and Emory can play the martyr,

120. and my parents can be a tad manipulative.

121. It's not that.

122. - Then what is it? - Nothing.

123. Um, you know what?

124. I have to go back to the hospital

125. to— to see to a consult. I just thought I'd bring you these

126. so you could be the cool boss.

127. Your famous Christmas cookies!

128. Oh, thank you.

129. You're the best.

130. I am.

131. Dinner tonight?

132. Mm-hmm.

133. 8 o'clock.

134. Think he suspects anything?

135. Please.

136. William's like me at one of my brother's

137. fantasy football drafts.

138. Which means?

139. He hasn't got a clue.

140. Whoa.

141. Straight up, down the barrel.

142. Here we go.

143. Oh, there she is.

144. Thank you so much for doing this.

145. No, thank you.

146. Paid enough for this camera.

147. I should definitely be putting it to more use.

148. If I book this commercial, I promise

149. I will pay you for this, because headshots are

150. just so expensive these days.

151. I thought this was for your dating profile.

152. You know I'm double dipping with these.

153. You have to.

154. Yeah.

155. Speaking of dating, do you remember Theo from Zach's party?

156. Theo?

157. No?

158. Cute in a buttoned-up way, you know, programmer.

159. I mean, a little annoying, but not really anything for you

160. to worry about.

161. I mean, everybody's annoying, really.

162. Totally normal.

163. Do you remember him?

164. Not ringing a bell.

165. Well, he remembers you and asked for your number,

166. so can I give it to him?

167. Theo.

168. Yes, I remember him.

169. Hard pass.

170. What?

171. All he wanted to talk about was the latest data entry tool.

172. But you're a data analyst.

173. Only on paper and on my paycheck.

174. But in my heart, it's really just me and old Betsy here.

175. Besides, someday I would like to date someone who actually makes

176. me feel special, like how I see with my parents

177. or with my brother and William.

178. They're so cute, it's disgusting.

179. You kind of have to date a guy for longer than two

180. weeks for that to happen.

181. In theory, yes.

182. Well, um, I may have already given him your number in theory.

183. Is that him?

184. OK, because I told him to wait until I talked to you.

185. Street lights, glowing

186. Gold trees with the chimney smoking

187. Skies are frozen

188. In town, all the stores are closing

189. Ooh

190. When I was just a kid

191. All I wanted was stuff

192. Now, ooh

193. I just wanna be close to the ones I love

194. I don't wanna think about the future

195. I don't wanna worry about the past

196. Only thing we ever have is the present

197. And you're the best one I'll ever have

198. Save all your money

199. And I'll save mine too

200. The only thing I want is more time with you

201. Sorry I am so late, sweetheart.

202. My surgery ran over.

203. Oh, wow.

204. Uh-huh.

205. I don't really know what to say.

206. How about, yes?

207. Hmm?

208. William Patel, I've thought about this moment since about

209. 24 minutes into sharing those eggnog

210. Martinis at that fateful Christmas Eve party

211. my brother dragged me to.

212. And now here we are.

213. The timing is perfect.

214. We're in love.

215. We're both at the top of our respective careers,

216. and we're both within 5 pounds of the ideal wedding body.

217. Our honeymoon photos are gonna look so great.

218. What?

219. Obviously not the most important part,

220. but not an unimportant part.

221. Dylan?

222. Sorry, I went off script there.

223. I just wanted everything to be perfect.

224. Um, uh, this— this is all wrong.

225. Yeah.

226. Yeah?

227. What do you mean by yeah?

228. Combined with whatever face this is that you're making.

229. You need to come clean.

230. You've been acting very weird for the past few weeks.

231. Dylan, you've made a lovely dinner.

232. Yeah, let's— let's go eat now.

233. Now's just not the right time.

234. Not the right time for what?

235. This discussion or getting engaged?

236. Both.

237. I see.

238. Then I guess now is not the right time for you to go

239. - on a cruise with my family. - No, no, Dylan.

240. Come on.

241. We've been planning this for months.

242. Your mom and dad, they're gonna be expecting this.

243. I understand that, but I know you, William.

244. I know when you're keeping something from me.

245. And until you're ready to tell me what that is,

246. we need some distance from each other.

247. Sorry. Distance?

248. What do you mean by distance?

249. Like the Atlantic ocean, for now.

250. Oh come on.

251. No, Dylan, now's not the time to be making these rash decisions.

252. I'm not being rash!

253. OK, that was rash.

254. This isn't a breakup.

255. I'm setting a boundary.

256. When you are ready to tell me about whatever this is,

257. we can go back to normal.

258. But until then, we need space.

259. You don't understand.

260. It's not that simple for me.

261. It is for me.

262. I have an early flight to catch in the morning.

263. Mm-hmm.

264. I love you.

265. I love you, too.

266. I can't believe they sent you an email.

267. Mass email.

268. Entire department.

269. Poof!

270. Gone.

271. Replaced by robot overlords.

272. Oh, no.

273. What are you gonna do?

274. Well, I'll start by scrolling all of the various job sites,

275. apply to every single one of them, even the ones

276. I am not fully qualified for, and then

277. anxiously refresh all the pages every 17

278. minutes just to make sure I didn't miss any single listings.

279. Oh, boy.

280. Then I will spam every data analyst recruiter's inbox

281. with my resume, which will be pointless because nobody

282. hires over the holidays.

283. - Are you good? - Me?

284. Oh, no.

285. I'm great.

286. I'm great, because also, in about six hours,

287. I will scramble to pack my suitcases before I set off

288. on a multi-stop economy flight on Air Cordinia, which

289. as of six hours ago, I did not know

290. existed, to go spend seven days along the Danube River

291. with my parents and two older brothers.

292. Yeah, I'm not seeing the problem here.

293. Not to mention that my brothers

294. haven't checked in on me in I don't even know how long.

295. Have you checked in with them?

296. This is my pity party, Nic.

297. I don't need a rationale right now.

298. You're complaining about a trip to Europe

299. to someone who's never been.

300. Read the room.

301. - You're right. - Right.

302. You're right.

303. I shouldn't complain.

304. It's a middle seat the whole way.

305. Still don't feel bad for you.

306. It is just absolutely the worst timing.

307. At least you'll have your family there to support you

308. through all this.

309. Oh, no, there is a 0% chance I am telling them.

310. You don't understand.

311. My brothers are, like, these perfect human specimens.

312. Cal is this chiseled-jawed former college

313. football player who is now a big-time college football coach.

314. And Dylan has eyebrows for days and

315. is this super successful home builder who's

316. dating a literal neurosurgeon.

317. I can't go on this trip single and unemployed,

318. or I will officially be the failure of a sister who

319. cannot get her life together.

320. You know what, though?

321. It's fine.

322. It's fine.

323. I am just going to smile and take photos and eat every pastry

324. that enters my eyeline.

325. I don't like this one.

326. [BARRIE GLEDDEN/KES LOY/RICHARD KIMMINGS,

327. "CAN'T WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS']

328. I can't wait for Christmas

329. And the lights on the Christmas tree

330. Yeah, and Rudolph knows with his big red nose

331. He's keeping Santa company

332. I can't wait for Christmas.

333. And there's my kid brother, always arriving in style.

334. Well, one of us had to take after our mother.

335. Too bad it wasn't her daughter.

336. Let me help you with your bag.

337. OK.

338. Let me help you with your hair.

339. What is this?

340. Give me a break.

341. I've been traveling for 27 hours.

342. From Denver?

343. Well, my flight had four stops, thank you very much.

344. - Was one of them Australia? - No.

345. It looks like your hairdo's from down under, mate.

346. So the brotherly barrage begins.

347. We gotta get this out.

348. Oh.

349. Look, a little cutie.

350. Look, a little cutie.

351. OK, that's— that's enough!

352. Where's William?

353. I was hoping he could shield me from some of the teasing.

354. Yeah, did he get cold feet or something?

355. Oh.

356. There they all are.

357. Mom and Dad!

358. Keller family squeeze.

359. Oh.

360. After five long years, we can resume the adventure!

361. Simmer down, Dad.

362. This is basically a floating retirement community.

363. How crazy can it get?

364. Yeah, nothing's crazier than doing a triple black diamond

365. on your first ski trip.

366. Hey, those trails were not clearly marked,

367. but the helicopter ride to the hospital, not bad.

368. There'll be no accidents this trip.

369. This is about our family bonding and having

370. a great family Christmas.

371. Or I'll send you to your cabin without any dinner.

372. Oh, I don't sound like that.

373. That was pretty accurate, actually.

374. Where's William?

375. He's gonna join us, right?

376. I don't know yet.

377. Oh, well, you know neurosurgeons.

378. They do important work.

379. Let's get you guys checked in to the fun boat.

380. All right, let's go!

381. Hey, the Runias did this exact cruise last year,

382. and they raved about it.

383. And we know how busy you are, so we

384. are so grateful that you could you all make this a priority.

385. And I cannot wait to hear everything about you three.

386. This is your cruise director extraordinaire.

387. He'll get you settled in.

388. We will be in the star lounge.

389. Oh, we have star status with Polara.

390. - Look at you. - Fancy.

391. Of course, you do.

392. Well, great pleasure to finally

393. meet the full Keller family.

394. Anne and Ben have been telling me about you

395. - since they boarded the ship. - Oh.

396. My name is Noah, and it is my great pleasure

397. to have you all aboard.

398. Your name is Noah, and you work on a boat?

399. Yes.

400. And the guests usually come in twos as well.

401. Well, we're all single here.

402. But you don't have to rub it in.

403. Oh, no, I—

404. I must apologize.

405. I did not mean to offend you.

406. Oh, don't mind my brothers.

407. They— they thrive on embarrassment.

408. I see.

409. Well, just get settled in and meet

410. us in the grand horizon lounge.

411. Champagne kickoff is gonna be in half an hour.

412. So here are your keys.

413. Let's go.

414. Thank you.

415. Would you like some help to your room?

416. Bitte.

417. And here's your cabin.

418. Ah, thank you so much.

419. I know my brothers could have been a little more helpful,

420. but what are you gonna do?

421. FYI, the upper deck is great for your photography.

422. How do you know I do photography?

423. Could be the very fancy camera draped around your neck.

424. Right.

425. I wear it so much, I sometimes forget it is there.

426. So you are a professional?

427. No.

428. I mean, I did that for a little bit,

429. but I prefer to regularly pay my bills, so I got a safe job.

430. But this week I am on full family photo duty.

431. Gosh, I wish I could hire you to help me.

432. The photographer for my new marketing campaign

433. dropped out last minute.

434. So now it's all up to me and my phone.

435. Oh.

436. Wait, do you speak German?

437. No, more like trying to survive German.

438. God, it is really hard.

439. I'm picking up a few words and phrases here and there.

440. Wunderbar.

441. Wonderful.

442. Great.

443. Well, enjoy your stay and look forward to having you aboard.

444. Hmm.

445. OK.

446. Last one to the lounge has to chug his champagne.

447. This is a cruise ship, not a frat house.

448. Oh— oh.

449. Resist the urge to sleep.

450. You got to power through the jet lag.

451. You want me to stay hydrated, too, coach?

452. And hit the showers.

453. Gladly.

454. Here you go, Grandpa.

455. I packed an extra one.

456. Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

457. I'll come and get you in 10 for the meet and greet.

458. I'll be the envy of all the men.

459. Hmm.

460. Good afternoon, guests, and

461. welcome to our Polara Christmas adventure.

462. As most of you already know, my name is Noah.

463. And I just quickly want to recap the itinerary.

464. So we're gonna stay here in Regensburg tonight

465. and head to the markets tomorrow.

466. They don't open until noon, so we have a fun little competition

467. organized for you.

468. All right, let's go.

469. It's a team gingerbread contest with a European twist.

470. Well, I'm not a fan of long speeches,

471. so I'm just gonna say prost.

472. Prost!

473. Hello, neighbor.

474. Oh, hi.

475. Ron Peyton.

476. Cal Keller.

477. And this is my lovely granddaughter, Felicity.

478. Hi.

479. Nice to meet you.

480. We're both from Seattle.

481. Oregon.

482. So, fellow Pacific Northwesterner.

483. Are you here on your own?

484. Currently, yes.

485. I'm waiting for my siblings and my parents to join me.

486. They are chronically late for meal time.

487. You seem to have another two places.

488. - Can we join you? - Grandpa.

489. What?

490. I don't see any other two-tops.

491. We won't be any bother.

492. No.

493. Help yourself.

494. Great.

495. I'm gonna hit the washroom quick.

496. Uh, Felicity, why don't you keep Cal company

497. until his family arrives?

498. Great idea.

499. Please.

500. I'm sensing this is a pattern.

501. Oh.

502. My grandfather is one— one of my favorite people ever.

503. But even he'll admit, he can be pushy.

504. And since my divorce last year, he's

505. made it his mission to put me in the path of any and

506. every potentially single man.

507. Uh, like putting you at a table with a complete stranger.

508. Precisely, not that you don't seem like a nice person.

509. But a cruise with Grandpa maybe should

510. just be a cruise with Grandpa.

511. Not a dating reality show.

512. Exactly.

513. Well, if it makes you feel any better,

514. I know how painful a divorce can be.

515. Plus, I just got my heart broken by the one that got away.

516. So the last thing I'm looking for on this family trip

517. is romance.

518. Wow.

519. And I thought my situation was hard.

520. Hmm.

521. Sorry about that.

522. Oh, thank you.

523. I'll get through it as long as I get some food in me.

524. Where is my family?

525. Sorry to do this, but I just saw a small table open up.

526. I think I'm gonna snag it before Grandpa

527. comes back with champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries.

528. Sounds good.

529. See you around.

530. You know, in general, or at the elimination ceremony.

531. Good to meet you, Cal.

532. Yeah, you too.

533. Honey, are you almost ready?

534. We better get going before this thing escalates.

535. Just tying the ol' shoes.

536. Do you think this was a good idea?

537. The kids haven't seen each other in ages.

538. Well, more the reason for a family adventure.

539. Our most important one yet.

540. It'll be fine.

541. Oh, no.

542. We gotta go now.

543. Let's go now?

544. Oh, Dylan.

545. Mm-hmm.

546. This is the gingerbread contest like you've never seen.

547. We are not just building houses here.

548. We are in Europe.

549. And Europe is known for its incredible architecture.

550. So put your heads together, and make

551. one of the many iconic structures

552. you can find on this beautiful continent.

553. You have a lot of ingredients in front of you,

554. as long as you don't eat them all.

555. And if you need anything else, just ask me or my staff.

556. You got one hour.

557. Achtung, fertig, los!

558. Got it.

559. Team Keller, we got this. All right.

560. Oh, Dylan, I want you to take point because you're

561. - the home builder. - If you insist.

562. Hold on. I'm the oldest.

563. All I do all day is literally build homes.

564. Not with gingerbread, you don't.

565. Oh, and you do?

566. As a matter of fact, our football team

567. did a gingerbread build at the children's hospital last year,

568. and we made a killer North Pole, thank you very much.

569. Oh, just one?

570. Yeah, my company did a gingerbread house

571. competition every year.

572. I was there— count them—

573. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 years.

574. Was?

575. Was, as in, I'm here now.

576. - Oh. - Maybe Em should be in charge.

577. No, your mother's in charge.

578. I think Dylan should lead the concept, given his experience

579. as a home developer.

580. Thank you.

581. And Cal's steady hands can hold the walls because he's

582. great in a competition.

583. And, Emory, you can share your gingerbread insight as we go.

584. - Mix water in the icing. - Noted.

585. Now, we need to come up with a famous building.

586. Easy.

587. Wembley Stadium, London.

588. I don't think that's what they meant when they said iconic.

589. Oh, Roman Colosseum.

590. Now, that is iconic.

591. Now we're talking, sis.

592. This is a Christmas competition.

593. Maybe we choose a building where a little less murder occurred.

594. - Mm-hmm. - Like where?

595. Well, since we're going to Vienna, what if we went

596. with the famous opera house?

597. Snooze.

598. Those are decorations.

599. I'm hungry.

600. You just had breakfast.

601. I'm having about double.

602. Oh, my gosh.

603. We're doomed.

604. Candy canes and frosted treats

605. Here's to making memories

606. String the lights and hang a little red and green

607. Yeah, we need a little Christmas

608. With love all around us

609. Yeah, we need a little Christmas

610. The best time of the year

611. Guys, we're running out of time.

612. Almost done?

613. You can't rush the planning phase.

614. How's the mixing?

615. The glue is the most important part.

616. All right, everyone.

617. 30 minutes left to go.

618. Let's do this.

619. Careful.

620. The frosting hasn't hardened yet.

621. No, Cal, Cal, don't— oh!

622. Sorry.

623. We're gonna need to pivot.

624. We should have built a stadium.

625. Everybody, please listen up for a second.

626. We made it to our first Christmas market

627. here in Regensburg, Bavaria.

628. Those of you who are, say, gentle

629. walkers, you can stay near me if you would like.

630. The rest of you are free to wander the market,

631. which fills the whole park.

632. But remember, the boat will leave tonight by 7:00 PM,

633. so make sure you're back from the markets by then, all right?

634. The dock has a very strict schedule,

635. and we will leave without you.

636. All right, have fun.

637. Enjoy yourself.

638. Feel free to split up and explore.

639. But I have found a super fun activity for all of us.

640. So I want you there.

641. OK?

642. Why am I afraid to ask what it is?

643. Bavarian dancers!

644. Oh.

645. Like Dylan's Heritage Day dance back in second grade.

646. The Schuhplattler.

647. Yes.

648. I had a love-hate relationship with that outfit.

649. Oh, it's still in the closet.

650. OK, let's go. Come on.

651. Yeah, cool.

652. Let's go this way.

653. Let's get some food.

654. Oh, did you ever get to Regensburg

655. when you were at the Olympics?

656. No, there wasn't time.

657. But I'm glad I'm here now with you.

658. Oh.

659. You have reached Dr. William Patel.

660. I am not available at the moment, but—

661. I am worried about Dylan.

662. Something is not right.

663. I feel it.

664. He'll tell us when he wants to.

665. He always does.

666. Ha-ha!

667. You're really crushing on the Prussian, eh?

668. - Hey. - Oh, watch the gluhwein.

669. What's gluhwein?

670. Oh, hot, spicy mulled wine.

671. Think of it as my apology for crushing

672. your gingerbread dreams.

673. Oh, apology accepted.

674. - Cheers? - Cheers.

675. Cheers.

676. Cheers.

677. Where are Mom and Dad?

678. They're hanging with the gentle walkers group.

679. Since when are they gentle walkers?

680. Dad's an Olympic speed skater.

681. Yeah, before we were born.

682. Life's full of unforeseen changes.

683. Hey.

684. Oh, just let him have it.

685. He's wound tighter than a watch spring.

686. Hmm.

687. Oh, a watch spring is something

688. that used to be in watches which you wore on your wrist.

689. You're done.

690. I'm getting another gluhwein.

691. OK.

692. Do not touch that pretzel.

693. Wouldn't dream of it.

694. Guten tag, l'chaim.

695. Epic gingerbread victory.

696. My brother's envy knows no bounds.

697. He seems to have recovered.

698. Well, don't let the dancing fool you.

699. He's plotting his revenge.

700. I'll keep alert.

701. Yeah.

702. In the meantime, we're heading back to the boat

703. with the early returners.

704. Grandpa's done a lot of walking today.

705. All right.

706. I'll see you back on the boat, then.

707. Mom wants us to stick around and watch the dancers.

708. More family bonding.

709. Are you gonna be dancing, too?

710. Well, you never know what will happen when

711. the accordion takes a hold.

712. Now that I'd like to see.

713. Oh.

714. Wait.

715. That was not meant to be flirty.

716. Disregard.

717. Oh, I heard nothing.

718. Nothing except the sweet sound of compressed air

719. mingled with keyboard.

720. Jet lag is catching up with me.

721. I think I'm gonna join the group returning to the boat.

722. Uh, Ben, come with?

723. What about the finale?

724. This was your idea.

725. Well, you should stay.

726. And keep track of Dylan.

727. Looks like he's a few gluhwein deep.

728. Oh, yeah.

729. Yes.

730. OK.

731. Weird.

732. What is going on with him?

733. No clue.

734. Do you think it's his typical over stressing about work?

735. No, this feels personal.

736. William.

737. Is anyone feeling badly that I don't have a partner?

738. Yeah.

739. Oh, yeah.

740. Thank you, but don't worry.

741. I already found someone who suits me quite nice.

742. Oh, whoa.

743. It's happening, it's happening.

744. But first, you need some new clothes.

745. Fire up the camera now.

746. Yeah, Dylan!

747. That's what I'm talking about.

748. Woo!

749. This is the best day of my whole life.

750. Oh, that took longer than expected.

751. - What time is it? - Thank you.

752. I'm starving.

753. Oh, my phone must have switched to European.

754. What's 18:35 in American?

755. That's the time?

756. We gotta go, guys.

757. We gotta get to the boat now!

758. Oh, no.

759. Dylan!

760. Oh, wait.

761. Come on, guys.

762. Almost there.

763. Wait.

764. I'm coming.

765. Hike up those lederhosen!

766. You're kidding me.

767. Are you sure that this is the right dock?

768. I dropped a pin.

769. You can drop a pin, but you can't set your phone to a time

770. you can actually read?

771. You have a phone, too.

772. I was getting the.

773. Schmockelbocken.

774. Not what it's called.

775. Surprised Mom and Dad didn't try to call and warn us.

776. They went back to the boat. They're probably asleep.

777. Ah, sleep sounds lovely right now.

778. - I'm gonna call. - I'll call them.

779. You.

780. Where are my regular clothes?

781. Oh.

782. The good news is passengers

783. missing the boat is not as uncommon as you would think.

784. You will simply have to meet us at our next dock,

785. which is Deggendorf.

786. And the bad news?

787. We are only there until 6:00 PM,

788. and you will have to secure your own transportation.

789. Oh, and you have to find a place to sleep tonight.

790. OK, we'll get a hotel room.

791. Well, it's four days before Christmas.

792. Your chances of finding a hotel room are very, very slim.

793. I'll contact a few colleagues and see what I can do.

794. In the meantime, please send us your exact location.

795. All right?

796. OK, I'm gonna hang up now so we can start looking.

797. Thank you.

798. I should never have suggested you go to the hotel to rest.

799. But you were right.

800. I needed to.

801. This is not my idea of family bonding.

802. How's it going?

803. Find anything?

804. Nothing.

805. Who steals another man's clothes?

806. Not you.

807. Emory is searching for an available hotel room.

808. Oh.

809. Noah was right, I checked online.

810. He called all his contacts. Nothing is there.

811. Everything is booked, even the hostels.

812. We are so not staying in a hostel.

813. That's right Captain Gluhwein.

814. Because we are not staying anywhere at all.

815. What the Hilda?

816. American Dylan.

817. Oh, we missed our boat.

818. And somebody stole my clothes.

819. Don't worry, my liebchen.

820. You can keep the lederhosen.

821. And they fit great.

822. But what we're more worried about is catching the riverboat

823. our parents are on.

824. Is there a night train to Deggendorf?

825. The last one would have left half an hour ago.

826. I would take you in the van, but I'm headed

827. in a different direction.

828. Is there, like an all-night restaurant or something?

829. We could park at one and order some strudel or cocoa or—

830. This is not Berlin.

831. Nothing here stays open all night.

832. How about an open park bench for sleeping?

833. My cousin Gunther converted his barn into a hotel.

834. It's just outside the city.

835. I can take you up the mountain myself.

836. Will you excuse us for just one minute?

837. OK, we're all out of options.

838. I say we do it.

839. An off-the-grid mountain hotel?

840. Uh-uh.

841. I've seen this movie before, and it usually

842. airs around Halloween, not Christmas.

843. Red flags abound.

844. OK, if we get there and something seems off, we bail.

845. Bail where, into a snow cave?

846. I'm the oldest.

847. I'll protect you.

848. Ew.

849. We'll protect you.

850. I may not have been a collegiate athlete,

851. but you should see what I can do on a Pilates reformer.

852. It's not a competition, Dylan.

853. Said Cal Keller never.

854. No one is protecting anyone from anything.

855. We are going to stay right here in Regensburg

856. and take our chances with the elements.

857. Fine, we go with Fraulein Hilda.

858. Let's hope she also believes that the hills are

859. alive and not the alternative.

860. Yeah.

861. OK, Hilda on three.

862. No.

863. No.

864. What?

865. Hi.

866. When she said it was a converted barn,

867. I was expecting more hay.

868. Why do I feel like I'm on the inside

869. of a future True Crime podcas?

870. I'm into it.

871. Success!

872. There is room at the inn, but only one.

873. We'll take it.

874. Cousin Gunther is busy tomorrow,

875. so he said he will have Hansi take

876. - you to the dock in Deggendorf. - Hansi?

877. Yes.

878. That's very kind of you, Hilda, thank you.

879. It's my pleasure.

880. And if the room is too small for the three of you,

881. you are more than welcome to travel on with me to Heidelberg.

882. Oh, tempting, but I really should stay with my family.

883. Of course, my sweet Dylan.

884. But we will always have Regensburg.

885. My little liebchen.

886. Dibs.

887. What?

888. No, I have a sciatica!

889. That's not a real thing.

890. Yes, it is, ask my doctor!

891. Stop!

892. What would dad say about Keller chivalry if he knew

893. his sons let their baby sister sleep on the cold, hard floor

894. at Christmas?

895. Fine.

896. There you go.

897. Oh, a pillow.

898. Thank you so much.

899. Do we really have to sleep with the lights on?

900. Have you seen the creepy elf above me?

901. The trauma is real.

902. Guys, why do you think Mom and Dad really asked

903. us to come along on this trip?

904. What do you mean?

905. We've done a million of these trips,

906. filled up a million scrapbooks with forced family fun photos.

907. Yeah, but this one was so last minute.

908. And didn't you feel like they were super

909. insistent that we all come?

910. Like, we haven't done one in almost five years, you know.

911. William has never even been on one.

912. Yeah.

913. Did he not want to come because he was worried about spending

914. too much time with all of us?

915. I don't want to talk about it.

916. OK.

917. I think we're here because we haven't done one

918. of these in a really long time.

919. Dad's retired now and always wanted to come back to Austria

920. to relive his glory days.

921. Yeah, and Mom loves this region.

922. It's like the most Christmassiest place

923. I've ever Christmased.

924. I hope you're right, but I don't know.

925. I'm just scared they're holding back somehow.

926. Sure you're not just projecting?

927. What's that supposed to mean?

928. I don't know.

929. I learned that it was something I was doing a lot

930. when things got bad with Angie.

931. I started worrying about everybody else's problems

932. instead of realizing that I was the one who was struggling.

933. Oh.

934. Hey, Em, will you do me a favor?

935. Yeah.

936. Will you check and make sure that it's really Cal over there?

937. Seriously, who are you?

938. It's still me.

939. Just have grown a little, I guess.

940. Look, just know that if either of you want to talk

941. to me about anything, I'm—

942. I'm here for you.

943. I may be cramped in the corner of a 19th-century German

944. guest house, but I'm here.

945. Love you guys.

946. I love you, too.

947. Love you, too.

948. Dylan!

949. This is Hansi?

950. Ja.

951. Cool.

952. Hilda said we can leave it at the docks.

953. Her cousin Kurt will pick it up later.

954. - When did she say that? - She texted me.

955. When did she get your number?

956. We had a connection, OK?

957. It's a Schuhplattler thing.

958. You wouldn't understand.

959. - Dankeschon, mein Freund. - Shotgun.

960. - Driver. - Oh.

961. Christmas is my favorite time of year

962. Oh, Christmas is my favorite time of year

963. I'm keeping out of trouble until the big guy's here

964. They are on their way.

965. Your narration of their every step

966. is better than an audiobook.

967. Oops.

968. Oh, I got it.

969. Do you mind if a couple of stragglers join you?

970. Please do.

971. Thank you.

972. Anne has been entertaining me with our children's

973. little detour.

974. How far off are they?

975. Cruising through the mountains on their way to Deggendorf.

976. Moving slowly, but they're moving.

977. Cal is in charge.

978. He is great at logistics.

979. He takes after his dad.

980. Natural born leader.

981. Are we seriously lost?

982. Do you know how many of these road names end in "strabe"?

983. That B makes an S sound.

984. It's strasse.

985. And strasse is the German word for street.

986. Even I know that.

987. OK, well, what strasse should we be on?

988. And you made a left at.

989. And the difference is?

990. The little dots!

991. The umlauts are important.

992. OK, well, then we'll have to double back.

993. Good thing we don't have to be there until 6:00 PM.

994. Oh, good thing we don't have to be there till 6:00 PM.

995. Why are you so touchy when you don't have your morning protein?

996. Very important for my metabolism!

997. Oh, not even close.

998. Watch this.

999. Oh, on the edge.

1000. No.

1001. Not bad.

1002. No, no.

1003. I'm sorry to bother you, but there has been a change

1004. of plans about Deggendorf.

1005. A change?

1006. The port has a conflict.

1007. They double booked us with another cruise line that

1008. had engine trouble, so we are going

1009. to have to depart here early.

1010. Wait, can they do that?

1011. In emergencies, yes.

1012. Well, how early?

1013. 2:00 PM.

1014. Wait, no.

1015. Cal and Emory and Dylan are still on their way.

1016. I know, I'm sorry, but we have our orders.

1017. It'll be OK.

1018. Yeah.

1019. I'm lowering my Yelp review of Gunther's Hotel.

1020. Because Hansi has a broken gas gauge?

1021. And my pillow smelled like hay.

1022. Oh, mine, too.

1023. I thought it was me.

1024. I've been wearing the same clothes for 24 hours.

1025. We all stink, sweetie.

1026. I don't think this costume's been washed, ever.

1027. Can you wash leather?

1028. You know, this is definitely less than ideal,

1029. but I'm really glad you guys are with me.

1030. I forgot how much fun you are.

1031. It's almost worth the torture.

1032. Oh.

1033. Keep pushing!

1034. Hey.

1035. So new news.

1036. Really?

1037. Yep.

1038. I was gonna tell you guys last night,

1039. but I didn't have the mental energy.

1040. Oh, I always thought she was in love with you.

1041. Yeah, well, she got over it.

1042. Are you gonna be able to get over it?

1043. Eventually.

1044. It's my fault. I always knew she kind of liked me,

1045. but after the divorce, I was afraid to put myself

1046. out there for fear of failure.

1047. And then when I was ready, it was too late.

1048. And as long as we're sharing—

1049. Oh, no.

1050. What?

1051. Guys, we gotta go now.

1052. Oh.

1053. What are you doing?

1054. Driving the rest of the way.

1055. You guys always say I drive too fast.

1056. Here's where it comes in handy.

1057. Do you even know how to drive this thing?

1058. I delivered for Scoot all through college.

1059. I didn't know that.

1060. A girl's gotta eat.

1061. OK, hang on.

1062. Where are they?

1063. They should be right here.

1064. We're here.

1065. We're here.

1066. We made it!

1067. There they are.

1068. We made it.

1069. We made it.

1070. Don't leave.

1071. We're here, we're here.

1072. We're here, we're here.

1073. Stop the boat!

1074. Stop the boat!

1075. Let's go, let's go.

1076. Tell them to stop it!

1077. Hey.

1078. We made it.

1079. We made it.

1080. We made it!

1081. Oh, we did it.

1082. We did it.

1083. Room for one more?

1084. Oh.

1085. Oh.

1086. Where are you going, darling?

1087. And why are you dressed like an elf?

1088. I'll have you know this is traditional Bavarian mountain

1089. attire.

1090. And Hilda said I pulled it off quite nicely.

1091. I'm sorry, Hilda?

1092. Who is Hilda?

1093. Somebody who was there for me when I needed them.

1094. Why are you here?

1095. Because we agreed to be on this trip together.

1096. And then we changed our mind.

1097. And you didn't think to call or text that you were coming?

1098. I thought it would be better in person.

1099. Are you ready to tell me what's going on?

1100. OK.

1101. Dylan.

1102. Dylan.

1103. - Where— where are you going? - Elsewhere.

1104. Ow!

1105. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

1106. You know, I thought you'd be glad to see me.

1107. I am glad to see you, truly.

1108. But I set a boundary, and I am sticking to it.

1109. If you're not ready to tell me why you're acting so weird,

1110. then I still need my space.

1111. Do you need my space?

1112. I promise not to snore.

1113. You'll fail.

1114. Miserably.

1115. Wow, your room is really tiny.

1116. Mom texted there's a big hot cocoa bar in the horizon lounge.

1117. I was gonna hit up Bobsled Bingo,

1118. but I think I need to shower first.

1119. Yes, you do.

1120. Get showered, text me later.

1121. Yeah.

1122. Em, oh, oh.

1123. I got it, I got it.

1124. Hi.

1125. Well, well, the great adventurer has returned.

1126. Oh, guess you heard.

1127. Oh, we've all heard.

1128. The Keller kids are now infamous up and down the Danube.

1129. Really?

1130. From the German Alps to the Black Sea.

1131. Fascinating.

1132. Well, we're usually good for at least one near-disaster

1133. per family adventure.

1134. So tell me, how is one of your family fun adventures

1135. different than a regular vacation?

1136. Well, basically, we go someplace where it's just us,

1137. or a group setting.

1138. How did you know?

1139. A group setting like this, where there's everybody,

1140. and we don't get to have fun or relax.

1141. We just have to do themed events so we can reconnect.

1142. It's annoying at first because we tend

1143. to get on each other's nerves.

1144. But eventually?

1145. Not so bad.

1146. As an only child, I'm officially jealous.

1147. Well, you're more than welcome to join us the next time

1148. we miss the boat.

1149. I don't know if I'm that jealous.

1150. Cheers.

1151. And now another marshmallow.

1152. Smile.

1153. Christmas came early.

1154. Huh?

1155. I just got your email with a link to the photos.

1156. And I did not expect this.

1157. Consider it an apology for all the trouble we caused yesterday.

1158. Apologies accepted.

1159. This is great work.

1160. I have to pay you for this.

1161. That is not how presents work.

1162. OK, at least let me pay you what I would have

1163. paid the other photographer.

1164. Well, that's really not why I sent them.

1165. But the truth is, I could kind of use it.

1166. Oh.

1167. Yeah.

1168. I haven't exactly shared this with my family,

1169. but I got let go from my job just before I came here.

1170. Oh, I'm sorry.

1171. But after consideration,

1172. I will take you up on your demand for unsolicited payment.

1173. Exactly.

1174. Then if you continue to take more photos like this,

1175. I will pay you for those, as well.

1176. I'll even send you a contract tonight to keep everything

1177. official, Ms. Emory Keller.

1178. You got yourself a photographer, Mr. Noah Schafer.

1179. Great.

1180. So let's see you at the cocoa?

1181. Great, that's a good idea.

1182. Dylan.

1183. Hi, William.

1184. Hello.

1185. Have you talked to my parents yet?

1186. Been catching up with them.

1187. Did you tell them about us?

1188. What would I tell them?

1189. I honestly wish you would tell me what this is.

1190. Ah, dinner time.

1191. Let's not be late.

1192. We want to celebrate William's arrival.

1193. You guys go ahead.

1194. We need a Keller kids family conference.

1195. OK.

1196. We'll join you in a minute.

1197. Don't be too long.

1198. Well, what has he told you?

1199. Nothing.

1200. And that's so unlike William.

1201. His consistent honesty is one of the reasons

1202. I fell in love with him in the first place,

1203. that and his chiseled jawline and his brain, his accent, his—

1204. Hey, you want me to talk to him?

1205. No, please don't do the big brother talk, but thank you,

1206. though, I appreciate it.

1207. I'm just— I'm afraid he's fallen out of love with me.

1208. Look, I'm certainly not an expert in long-term

1209. relationships, but I don't think someone flies halfway around

1210. the world to be with you—

1211. And their entire family.

1212. - if they've fallen out of love.

1213. I hope you're right.

1214. Thank you.

1215. At least one of us is doing OK, huh?

1216. I got laid off by mass email.

1217. And I'm gonna stop talking now.

1218. Please don't tell Mom and Dad.

1219. I just really don't want to worry them.

1220. Oh, we won't, Em.

1221. And I'm sorry that happened.

1222. Yeah, you don't deserve that.

1223. Thank you.

1224. On the plus side, Noah hired me to take photos

1225. for the rest of the trip, so at least I'm good until I

1226. figure out my next steps.

1227. All right.

1228. New crush coming through.

1229. He's not a crush.

1230. Please, the whole boat can see it, and half of them

1231. - are legally blind. - Oh.

1232. Can we please not freeze out all the warm fuzzies

1233. we got going on right now?

1234. Sorry.

1235. So what are you gonna do with this not

1236. crush who's totally a crush?

1237. Nothing, because we're working together

1238. and that would be wrong.

1239. Oh, kids, dinner now.

1240. Really?

1241. Oh, my gosh, come on.

1242. He's always like this.

1243. Welcome to Salzburg, the birthplace of Mozart.

1244. I have earpieces for anyone who's

1245. interested in some guided history,

1246. but feel free to wander off and explore the city on your own.

1247. Some of you should be reminded to be back at the buses

1248. at 8:00 PM, the latest.

1249. You know who you are.

1250. Also, each of you gets 20 euros for the white elephant

1251. gift exchange tomorrow night.

1252. No need to thank me because you already

1253. paid for this in advance.

1254. Here we go.

1255. Make it fun.

1256. Here.

1257. All right, Kellers, what's the plan?

1258. OK, I don't feel like keeping up with the tour,

1259. - so why don't we go our own ways? - What?

1260. No, I don't want to miss out on the history.

1261. Whatever you want, sweetie.

1262. Oh, tour nerd is back, baby.

1263. You gonna stand in front and ask all your annoying questions?

1264. I will not be shamed for my curiosity, thank you.

1265. OK, OK, OK.

1266. So we know what Dylan is doing, and

1267. we know that Cal will be doing whatever Felicity is doing and—

1268. And Em will follow Noah.

1269. Oh, no, not true.

1270. I am going to be doing my job and

1271. taking pictures of both groups, thank you very much.

1272. Going rogue, I like it.

1273. William.

1274. I'm team tour nerd all the way.

1275. OK, Kellers, Salzburg on three.

1276. 1, 2, 3—

1277. Salzburg!

1278. I hate when we do that.

1279. What do you say we split up?

1280. I want a little alone time, maybe some gluhwein and wander.

1281. Who are we, Maria von Trapp?

1282. Come on, Grandpa.

1283. I came on this trip to spend time with you.

1284. Well, we have spent time together,

1285. just you'll see more of the city this way.

1286. Besides, I have to find my white elephant gift.

1287. If you're trying to set me up with Cal, I told you,

1288. it's not happening.

1289. It's way too soon for both of us.

1290. We all have heartbreak in our life.

1291. It's what we do after that sets our life's direction.

1292. OK, you are waxing philosophical.

1293. Now, I will do my own thing.

1294. The Christmas markets go back to the late 15th century.

1295. Thank you.

1296. By the way, Trey left an envelope for you

1297. after the day he left.

1298. Oh, that would be the executed contracts

1299. for the Silverton project.

1300. So it's done?

1301. Securing the land is.

1302. I still have to present to the board

1303. my vision of what kind of community it'll be.

1304. Which you've done a million times over.

1305. Yeah.

1306. What's wrong?

1307. It's the million times part.

1308. I want to do something different.

1309. I just don't know what that is.

1310. You'll figure it out.

1311. What makes you so sure?

1312. Because when you set your mind to something, Dylan Keller,

1313. there is no stopping you.

1314. You're the most determined man I think I've ever met.

1315. You're so confusing.

1316. I know, and I don't mean to be.

1317. Then stop being so vague and just tell me what it is.

1318. It's me, William.

1319. Dylan, if I could speak to you about what's going on right now,

1320. I would. I swear.

1321. Is it your health?

1322. Ah, no.

1323. Your job?

1324. No.

1325. And before you say it, it's not—

1326. it's not that I don't love you.

1327. But apparently you don't trust me.

1328. I'm not sure what's worse.

1329. That one is nice.

1330. How lucky are we, huh?

1331. Oh.

1332. Oh, no pictures, please.

1333. I'm with my family.

1334. But you're so cute.

1335. I agree.

1336. Good to see you using the camera again.

1337. Yeah, you don't think I'm destined to process data?

1338. I think you're destined to work with that very

1339. expensive necklace you have on.

1340. I know that.

1341. Well, you know, it's not that simple.

1342. Why not?

1343. Well, because the cost of living

1344. hasn't exactly been kind to my generation.

1345. And I'd like to pay my bills.

1346. And you can't do that as a photographer?

1347. Look what happened when you took those photos for Noah.

1348. Are my financial advisor and former CPA parents

1349. actually advising me to go down the path less practical?

1350. Look, we want our kids to be happy,

1351. and you are always happiest when you're catching

1352. memories on film or digi-pixels or whatever the technology is.

1353. He's never gonna get it, is he?

1354. No.

1355. All right. One more.

1356. All right.

1357. Uh-huh.

1358. Nice, nice.

1359. You guys make me happy.

1360. You make us happy, Em.

1361. Come on, Keller squeeze!

1362. Come on.

1363. Why don't we go find some white elephants?

1364. - OK. - Yeah?

1365. Come on.

1366. OK.

1367. Hi.

1368. These are nice.

1369. These are nice, nice color.

1370. Hey.

1371. Find anything?

1372. You're not allowed to ask that.

1373. Come on.

1374. Secrecy is half the fun of a white elephant exchange.

1375. Fine.

1376. So where's Grandpa Ron?

1377. He ditched me.

1378. What?

1379. He said he was feeling a little wanderlust.

1380. This sure is the place for it.

1381. Have you found your gift yet?

1382. Wouldn't you like to know?

1383. Are you American?

1384. I'm sorry.

1385. I'm sorry?

1386. You sound American.

1387. Oh, yes, I am, I am American.

1388. I'm Austrian, but I studied English in California

1389. when I was at university.

1390. Oh.

1391. I really miss it.

1392. Yeah, well, you know, the West Coast

1393. is the best coast, as they say.

1394. If you want to, I can show you around some local treasures

1395. later. Perhaps, we could share some—

1396. I found the zimtsterne.

1397. The— zim—

1398. The cookies I was looking for, silly.

1399. Cal just loves zimtsterne.

1400. Excuse us.

1401. I hope that was OK.

1402. Yeah.

1403. No, I love being rescued from an adorable Austrian

1404. who's totally flirting with me.

1405. Especially, when it's by a super cute American who

1406. I'm not allowed to flirt with.

1407. These zim cookies are pretty good.

1408. Zimtsterne.

1409. Hmm?

1410. It's a Christmas cookie.

1411. Zim—

1412. Zimtsterne

1413. Sterne.

1414. Zimtsterne.

1415. You got it.

1416. Sounds better when you say it.

1417. None of that.

1418. I don't know what you mean.

1419. I'm sure you do.

1420. What do you think about this for Mom?

1421. I think I'm still mad at you, but I think Viva will love it.

1422. I'd get the red one, though.

1423. It'll look better on her.

1424. Probably right.

1425. Have you talked to your mom about whatever's going on?

1426. Oh, no, is it about her?

1427. No, Mom is fine.

1428. I'm actually gonna call her tomorrow night

1429. after the elephant exchange.

1430. Do you want to join me?

1431. That depends on if we've cleared up whatever this is.

1432. Understood.

1433. But Dylan, I do trust you, know that.

1434. If it was up to me, I would tell—

1435. How is it not up to you?

1436. Is it—

1437. Oh, no.

1438. You know I love a choir.

1439. This is not over.

1440. It's on pause.

1441. OK.

1442. Oh, nice shot.

1443. Looks like now it's time for you to take your shot at love.

1444. Don't need color commentary on my never-gonna-happen

1445. dating life.

1446. Come on, Keller.

1447. I'm just trying to help you get your head in the game.

1448. Thanks, Coach Bolton.

1449. Thanks, I take that as a compliment.

1450. Your mother would have loved this.

1451. Yeah.

1452. We wish you a Merry Christmas

1453. We wish you a merry Christmas

1454. And a happy new year

1455. Good tidings we bring

1456. To you and your kin

1457. We wish you a merry Christmas

1458. And a happy new year

1459. Oh.

1460. Oh.

1461. Oh.

1462. Sorry.

1463. I wasn't trying to spy.

1464. No, it's fine.

1465. But if you're still trying to find out my secret gift,

1466. you can stop now.

1467. I'm not giving in.

1468. No, no, I'll find out tonight at the exchange.

1469. Bet you won't know which is mine.

1470. Oh, a challenge.

1471. All right, I'm into it.

1472. So where's Grandpa Ron?

1473. Still wanderlusting in Salzburg?

1474. He's playing poker with a group of his new friends

1475. closer to his age.

1476. Oh, so you've been ditched.

1477. Again, yes, I have.

1478. Seriously, though, I'm glad he's putting himself out there.

1479. I admire his resilience.

1480. How so?

1481. He lost my grandmother a couple of years ago,

1482. and he's been working to recover ever since.

1483. Like by taking this trip?

1484. Yep.

1485. He's been so excited about this.

1486. It made me excited.

1487. And has it helped you with your romantic disappointment?

1488. That's a pretty creative euphemism for divorce.

1489. It has a nice ring, doesn't it?

1490. But, yes, it has.

1491. Good.

1492. Has it helped with yours?

1493. Yeah, kind of.

1494. The biggest disappointment was not appreciating

1495. my long-time friend, Lauren.

1496. Did you two date?

1497. Nope.

1498. That was the worst part.

1499. I think I always imagined in the back of my mind

1500. that we would end up together, except I

1501. never mentioned it to her.

1502. Probably should have done that.

1503. Probably should have.

1504. But, you know, I was newly divorced,

1505. and I guess I just thought I had a lot more time.

1506. I'm sorry, Cal.

1507. Thank you.

1508. You don't have to be.

1509. I think— I think it's all for the best.

1510. In what way?

1511. I think in losing her, I learned

1512. something that I couldn't have learned any other way.

1513. That's a very mature way to look at it.

1514. Well, even the coach needs coaching sometimes.

1515. I think Coach needs a cocktail.

1516. Yes, excellent play.

1517. You know, they'll have a skate rental in Vienna.

1518. You didn't have to lug these all the way out here.

1519. But these are good luck.

1520. Oh?

1521. I think I'm gonna need it.

1522. You are my good luck charm.

1523. Let's go have some fun.

1524. Who's ready to find the white elephant in the room?

1525. For those of you not familiar with the rules

1526. of the white elephant gift exchange,

1527. you already picked a random number in which order

1528. you're gonna select.

1529. You'll pick one of these finely wrapped presents

1530. here and open it for the crowd to see.

1531. Now, the following players, they can

1532. either take a new present from the middle

1533. or steal someone else's gift.

1534. Then the person who loses their gift can steal a different gift,

1535. or open a new one from the center, and so on.

1536. Got this?

1537. All right, perfect.

1538. So who's our number one?

1539. Who's our number one?

1540. Me.

1541. Number one.

1542. Christmas time is here for everyone

1543. Time to celebrate and have some fun

1544. We will keep each other warm tonight

1545. Look at that.

1546. Under mistletoe and firelight

1547. Christmas, oh, Christmas

1548. Christmas, Christmas

1549. Christmas on a lovely evening

1550. Time for giving and receiving

1551. Christmas, yeah, Christmas

1552. Christmas

1553. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1554. OK, I think it's time we had a Keller family conversation.

1555. Let's find somewhere private, honey.

1556. I'm sorry.

1557. I'm going to leave you guys to this.

1558. No, I want you to come with us.

1559. We'll talk about this later.

1560. Go on.

1561. OK.

1562. You deserve an explanation.

1563. And an apology.

1564. For what?

1565. For us not being completely honest with you about why

1566. we decided to call this trip.

1567. What do you mean?

1568. I was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.

1569. Oh, my goodness.

1570. With what?

1571. There have been enough clues over the past few months

1572. that we decided to get it checked out.

1573. But now we know for sure, which is good to have answers.

1574. How far along?

1575. It's stage 1.

1576. Which is very mild.

1577. But I have been slowing down, which I think you've noticed.

1578. Yeah, I sensed something was off,

1579. but I never could have imagined this.

1580. And that's why the forced family Christmas in Austria.

1581. Yeah, yeah, to experience it fully with all

1582. of you this time of year.

1583. Oh, Dad.

1584. I know that it's a shock, but people

1585. live a long time with this.

1586. And very productive lives.

1587. Just won't look like we originally thought it would.

1588. For example, we're going to sell the house.

1589. Because of the stairs.

1590. Two floors at the top of the hill,

1591. not exactly easy for someone living with this condition.

1592. And I don't think I'm gonna be able to ice skate in Vienna

1593. like I thought I would.

1594. But that's OK.

1595. I will see the city with my family,

1596. which is what's most important.

1597. I'm so sorry you guys have been

1598. going through this by yourself.

1599. Yeah.

1600. Well, actually, Dylan—

1601. It's not been completely by ourselves.

1602. All I want this year is to be near you

1603. Through the frosty window, lights will shine

1604. And I can feel the warmth of home, the fire glow

1605. Yeah, I just want to let—

1606. You knew.

1607. How long?

1608. About a few weeks.

1609. Your parents called me 'cause they know I've treated

1610. many patients with Parkinson's, even though Ben

1611. has his own primary specialist.

1612. Mom and dad said they made you promise

1613. not to tell me because they wanted to go on this trip first.

1614. So I hope they also mentioned I suggested that they tell you.

1615. They did.

1616. But you still showed up.

1617. I didn't know what to do, sweetheart.

1618. Ben spoke to me in confidence, and those were his wishes.

1619. No.

1620. I shouldn't have put you in this position

1621. in the first place, which They were very apologetic about,

1622. for the record.

1623. - will bring us all from near and far.

1624. My first instinct was to tell you, obviously,

1625. but so I don't know if this is gonna make any sense to you,

1626. but I felt like I was being loyal to you

1627. by being loyal to Ben.

1628. And Dad didn't want me to know because he was

1629. afraid I would tell everyone.

1630. Which, let's be honest, I probably would have.

1631. Wouldn't be this time of year without you.

1632. I am so sorry.

1633. Babe, it's OK.

1634. When we get home, we are going to therapy to establish better

1635. parameters for communication.

1636. All right.

1637. And I'm gonna take you on a lovely spa day.

1638. Spa weekend.

1639. Deal.

1640. Wouldn't be this time of year without you

1641. So I'm coming home to you

1642. I'm coming home to you

1643. We've come a long way, baby.

1644. We've got a long and beautiful road ahead of us.

1645. I've got to go.

1646. Huh?

1647. I have to talk to Cal and Emory.

1648. Is everything all right?

1649. Yeah.

1650. Are you sure?

1651. Yes. I love you.

1652. I love you so much.

1653. OK, I love you, too.

1654. OK, I gotta go.

1655. OK.

1656. I'm gonna go to all my dad's appointments.

1657. It shouldn't totally be up to my mom.

1658. My cousin Alex is a patient advocate

1659. at a hospital in Seattle.

1660. I'd be happy to put you in touch with him, if you'd like,

1661. get insight on how to navigate the process.

1662. I'd appreciate that, thank you.

1663. Of course.

1664. It's not the same, but my mom got sick during my first year

1665. of law school.

1666. I put everything aside to take care of her.

1667. Happily, she's 15 years cancer free.

1668. Wow.

1669. But it's a journey for the whole family.

1670. I can imagine.

1671. I'm happy to hear she's well.

1672. I just feel like I should have known.

1673. Cal, you can only see what people choose to show you.

1674. Yeah, I'm beginning to learn that.

1675. Thank you.

1676. Thank you for listening.

1677. And thank you for asking.

1678. Sorry to interrupt.

1679. Hi.

1680. Can I talk to you?

1681. OK.

1682. Like now?

1683. Oh, yeah.

1684. To be continued.

1685. Sure.

1686. Hey, Em.

1687. Huh?

1688. We're meeting in Cal's suite.

1689. Let's go.

1690. Uh.

1691. What?

1692. A single guy can't spruce his room up a little?

1693. This is a little more than spruce.

1694. Yeah.

1695. What, did you buy out the whole booth?

1696. I saw them at the market, and it

1697. put me in the Christmas spirit.

1698. I don't know, kind of seems like you

1699. - were hoping for a visitor. - What?

1700. No.

1701. Look, the guy gave me a great deal, so I bought them all.

1702. But we're not talking about me.

1703. We're talking about you upstairs with the piano man.

1704. You're getting back in the game, kid, huh?

1705. I don't know, Cal.

1706. I don't know what anything means, not today.

1707. Listen, Em, if you like him, you gotta let him know, OK?

1708. Don't do what I did and wait till it's too late.

1709. Can we stay on topic, please?

1710. Sorry, you're right.

1711. How is William?

1712. Yeah, you guys good?

1713. What?

1714. We're fine, yeah.

1715. This is about Mom and Dad.

1716. Well, I live close by.

1717. I'm gonna be there for everything.

1718. And I'm moving back to Portland.

1719. You are? That's great news.

1720. Did you get a job?

1721. Not yet, but I have a plan.

1722. Yeah, you and I both.

1723. You're moving to Portland?

1724. Oh, man, talk about FOMO!

1725. What?

1726. No, I'm not moving home, ew.

1727. But I do have a plan that I think can help long term.

1728. Didn't I tell you you'd find your inspiration?

1729. It's all coming together, man. You got this.

1730. Well, let's just hope the board goes for it.

1731. Dylan, look at me.

1732. They will, OK?

1733. Get ready.

1734. I'm gonna patch you through.

1735. And hey, don't forget my Mozart chocolates.

1736. OK.

1737. And now, I've got Dylan all the way from the Danube River.

1738. Dylan, take it away.

1739. Good evening, everybody.

1740. Thank you so much for staying up so

1741. late to take this spontaneous call, I really appreciate it.

1742. But I have an idea.

1743. So, guys, there will be no official tour here in Vienna.

1744. You each have a map, and I want you to explore on your own.

1745. Even the gentle walkers will be able to see

1746. the best parts of the city.

1747. Vienna has one of the most accessible

1748. public transportation in the world, so no worries about that.

1749. I recommend visiting Karlskirche.

1750. It's a bit outside the city center but definitely worth it.

1751. Have fun.

1752. Enjoy!

1753. Ah.

1754. They worry me because I always feel

1755. a cherub could cause trouble.

1756. But also, you know, like in Renaiss—

1757. no, or maybe sort of— maybe medieval.

1758. The cherubs always have the faces of old men.

1759. You notice that?

1760. Mm.

1761. Hey, William.

1762. - How are you? - Hi.

1763. Hi.

1764. Dylan's gonna join us later on at the Christmas market.

1765. He just has some business that he needs to attend to.

1766. On Christmas Eve?

1767. You know how he is.

1768. Oh, we know.

1769. Which is why we wanted to apologize to you.

1770. If we had thought that asking you not to tell Dylan would

1771. cause you two any problems—

1772. We would never have put you—

1773. Never.

1774. - in that position.

1775. I know, I understand.

1776. We both do.

1777. This is a really big deal, and it's gonna be something that we

1778. all learn as we go along.

1779. Even you?

1780. Even me.

1781. I've been on this side of it before.

1782. The family side?

1783. Yes.

1784. We love you, William.

1785. Entschuldigung!

1786. And how was my recommendation?

1787. Oh, breathtaking.

1788. Did you get some good shots?

1789. I think so.

1790. No, no, I know so.

1791. You're gonna love 'em.

1792. I have no doubt.

1793. Well, where's the rest of your crew?

1794. They took the Strassenbahn to the Rathaus.

1795. Oh, we have to work on the pronunciation on that.

1796. Oh, yeah?

1797. Well, we have to hurry because I leave in two days.

1798. Back to Colorado?

1799. Yes, but just to get my stuff.

1800. I'm actually moving back to Portland.

1801. I have no reason to be in Denver anymore,

1802. and I'd like to be close to my dad as we figure all this out.

1803. I understand.

1804. And is there a full-time photography career

1805. in your future?

1806. No, I'm still gonna look for a remote job in the data field,

1807. but I'm also going to be serious about a part-time

1808. photography career, and that's only

1809. until I can make it full time.

1810. I am not going to let anything stand in my way, even me.

1811. Good.

1812. I— I have a question.

1813. Travel is your passion, right?

1814. I have a travel company, so I think it's safe to say yes.

1815. OK.

1816. Well, then I was wondering how often you travel

1817. to the Pacific Northwest—

1818. Portland, Portland, specifically.

1819. Actually, I've never been.

1820. Oh, interesting.

1821. Well, in that case, um, I was wondering next time you're there

1822. if you would like to go out on— on a date with me, to be clear.

1823. Why wait for Portland?

1824. You mean you want to go on a date today?

1825. We're staying in the port until tomorrow

1826. evening, so no worries about leaving guests behind.

1827. Besides, Vienna is one of the most

1828. romantic cities in the world.

1829. There's no better way to experience it than with someone

1830. who excites you.

1831. I'm exciting?

1832. Very much so, yeah.

1833. Oh, I like that.

1834. Oh, how do you say it in German?

1835. Oh.

1836. Yeah, it sounds better in English.

1837. I agree.

1838. OK, then.

1839. And I have a feeling I will be moving the Pacific Northwest

1840. to the top of my wish list.

1841. You will not regret it.

1842. Shall we take the U-Bahn to the Rathaus?

1843. Is that how you say it?

1844. That makes more sense.

1845. So my favorite dish, Kaiserschmarrn, and

1846. a schokobaum.

1847. Yeah.

1848. Oh.

1849. Sorry, I have to check on some guests.

1850. All right.

1851. I'm in the game.

1852. Yes, Keller.

1853. There he is.

1854. Hey, you get your business done?

1855. I did.

1856. Did they like the idea?

1857. - They did. - Who's they?

1858. I thought we said no more secrets.

1859. Hey, lady, I had to deal with yours for two weeks.

1860. You can handle mine for two seconds, OK?

1861. Dylan James Keller.

1862. My company bought a piece of land

1863. outside of Silverton, Oregon.

1864. Why is that a secret?

1865. Your company's always buying land.

1866. So impatient.

1867. Always.

1868. Have either of you ever heard of a town

1869. in Holland called Hogeweyk?

1870. That's Harry Potter's School, isn't it?

1871. Solid dad joke, Dad.

1872. Oh-ho.

1873. Real question.

1874. No, what is it?

1875. It's a special village designed to help people

1876. dealing with Alzheimer's.

1877. Everything in the community is set up to make life as easy

1878. as possible for the residents.

1879. Dylan showed us pictures of it last night.

1880. It's really cool.

1881. I want to do the same thing but for people with Parkinson's.

1882. Are your bosses OK with that?

1883. Mom, I am the boss.

1884. We've talked about this, but, yes, I had to convince

1885. the board, and they're all in.

1886. We dive in in the new year.

1887. Thank you.

1888. So proud of you.

1889. You know, I'm so proud of you.

1890. Oh, come on, everybody.

1891. Keller.

1892. Come on.

1893. Come on.

1894. Keller squeeze.

1895. Oh, no.

1896. - We need Vienna on three. - All right.

1897. Count it out.

1898. Eins, zwei, drei!

1899. Yeah.

1900. I still hate it.

1901. Are we sure this is safe?

1902. Yeah, I think so.

1903. There's a lot of noises happening, just a lot of creaks.

1904. I don't like it.

1905. It might just be part of the music.

1906. I think we should make the one in our front yard look

1907. like that, don't you?

1908. Oh, no, wait.

1909. Are we stuck?

1910. I don't like this.

1911. Dylan, just live in the moment.

1912. It is what it is.

1913. Look at how beautiful it is out here.

1914. It's meant to be.

1915. You were wrong, you know, about now not

1916. being the right time for us to get married.

1917. I only said that because you were about to be dealing

1918. with a lot with your family.

1919. You're gonna be spending a lot of time with them, too,

1920. as you should, by the way.

1921. I know.

1922. You're still wrong.

1923. Now is the best time for us to get married.

1924. And it's the actual anniversary of our meet cute.

1925. We are cute, aren't we?

1926. Yeah, we kind of are.

1927. But you know what would make us even cuter?

1928. Hmm?

1929. Is if you would do me the honor of marrying me.

1930. I love you so much.

1931. If I've learned anything this week,

1932. it's that I can't do life without you.

1933. I don't want to.

1934. You're my rock.

1935. I know this isn't exactly the ring I had planned for,

1936. or actually, the proposal that I had planned for, but—

1937. is that—

1938. No.

1939. This is the ring that I had made for you six months ago.

1940. Dylan Keller, will you marry me?

1941. Yes.

1942. Yeah?

1943. Of course!

1944. Yeah?

1945. Well, you have to put your ring on.

1946. You have to put your ring on. Here.

1947. Here, it's a tree.

1948. Kiss me.

1949. He said yes!

1950. So did he!

1951. Looks like nobody else got the "no

1952. romance on this trip" memo.

1953. Well, who can blame them, you know?

1954. The beauty of Vienna, especially, at Christmas time?

1955. Romance seems to just pop up out of nowhere.

1956. I know that this is one Keller family adventure that I'll never

1957. forget for a couple reasons.

1958. And how's your heart?

1959. Remarkably good, yeah.

1960. Look, I know that we both agreed that the last thing

1961. that either of us wanted on this trip was something romantic.

1962. And yet here we are, under the heart tree.

1963. And here we are.

1964. Felicity, if there's anything I've learned on this trip,

1965. it's that I got to be more in the moment

1966. so that I don't miss something special

1967. when it's right in front of me.

1968. You know I live in Seattle, and you live in Portland.

1969. Yeah.

1970. Well, I already traveled across the pond to meet you.

1971. A trip to Seattle doesn't seem so far.

1972. Not far at all.

1973. Silent Night...

1974. Fireside...

1975. with you.

1976. Frozen in time...

1977. and hanging lights...

1978. with you.

1979. And all is calm

1980. With you in my arms.

1981. You're the glow in my eyes...

1982. My angel in the snow.

1983. There's always a little

1984. Bit of you in my soul.

1985. The Joy to the World

1986. So starry tonight

1987. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine through the sky

1988. No matter where you go.

1989. Hey, hey, hey, where's Dad?

1990. - Let Christmas bring you home.

1991. Don't worry, Dad.

1992. We got you.

1993. You're the glow in my eyes...

1994. My angel in the snow...

1995. There's always a little...

1996. bit of you in my soul.

1997. How you feeling?

1998. Good.

1999. I'm OK.

2000. Yeah, you got it.

2001. Joy to the World

2002. So starry tonight.

2003. Let it shine...

2004. No matter where you go...

2005. Let Christmas bring you home.

2006. Look at him go! Is there anything this man cannot do?

2007. Let Christmas bring you home.

2008. No matter where you go...

2009. Let Christmas bring you home.