1. Once upon a time, in a faraway
kingdom, lived a beautiful little girl...Copy !req
2. and her widowed father.Copy !req
3. It's beautiful.Copy !req
4. Okay. It wasn't that long ago.
And it wasn't really a faraway kingdom.Copy !req
5. It was the San Fernando Valley.
It looked faraway...Copy !req
6. because you barely see it
through the smog.Copy !req
7. But to me, growing up,
the Valley was my kingdom.Copy !req
8. I was my dad's best friend.
And he was mine.Copy !req
9. Being raised by a man put me behind in
the makeup and fashion departments.Copy !req
10. But I never felt like I missed out
on anything.Copy !req
11. I was the luckiest girl in the world.Copy !req
12. My dad owned the coolest diner.
I loved hanging out there.Copy !req
13. Diet was a four-letter word here...Copy !req
14. and grease came
at no additional charge.Copy !req
15. At Hal's, everyone felt like family.Copy !req
16. Oh, yeah, I have drinks.Copy !req
17. Happy birthday!Copy !req
18. Make a wish, princess.Copy !req
19. What did I need a wish for? I had
amazing friends and the coolest dad.Copy !req
20. Oh!Copy !req
21. But I guess my dad thought I needed
one more thing: Fiona.Copy !req
22. I am so sorry.Copy !req
23. You look beautiful, Fiona.Copy !req
24. Hey, Hal!Copy !req
25. Hi. Hi.Copy !req
26. Along with my new stepmother came
her twin daughters, Brianna and Gabriella.Copy !req
27. My out-of-step-sisters.Copy !req
28. But as long as my dad was happy,
so was I.Copy !req
29. We were going to be
one big, happy family.Copy !req
30. Cheese.Copy !req
31. One's enough.Copy !req
32. Unfortunately, this was no fairy tale.Copy !req
33. "He took her hand, and he kissed it.Copy !req
34. Then he swooped her up onto
his horse.Copy !req
35. And the beautiful princess and the
handsome prince rode off to his castle...Copy !req
36. where they lived happily ever after."Copy !req
37. Do fairy tales come true, Dad?Copy !req
38. Well, no. But dreams come true.Copy !req
39. - Do you have a dream?
- Yeah.Copy !req
40. My dream is that you'll grow up
and go to college...Copy !req
41. and then maybe someday you'll build
your own castle.Copy !req
42. - Where do princesses go to college?
- Uh...Copy !req
43. They go...Copy !req
44. where the princes go.Copy !req
45. They go to Princeton.Copy !req
46. But, Sam, you know, fairy tales aren't
just about finding handsome princes.Copy !req
47. They're about fulfilling your dreams...Copy !req
48. and about standing up for what
you believe in.Copy !req
49. As I always say, never let
the fear of striking out—Copy !req
50. - Keep you from playing the game.
- Right.Copy !req
51. Just remember, if you look carefully,
this book contains important things...Copy !req
52. that you may need to know
later in life.Copy !req
53. - Earthquake.
- My kingdom crumbled...Copy !req
54. during the Northridge earthquake.Copy !req
55. Help! Help!Copy !req
56. - Don't go.
- I'll be right back.Copy !req
57. I lost my best friend that day.Copy !req
58. From then on, the only fairy tales
in my life...Copy !req
59. were the ones I read about in books.Copy !req
60. Since my father didn't leave a will,
my stepmother got everything.Copy !req
61. The house, the diner,
and to her dismay, me.Copy !req
62. Sam.Copy !req
63. Sammy.Copy !req
64. Sam!Copy !req
65. It's breakfast time.Copy !req
66. So bring me my breakfast.Copy !req
67. Sam!Copy !req
68. Careful, ladies. Look for the eyes.
One, two, three, bicycle.Copy !req
69. And feint. Magpie, magpie, magpie.
Flap and flap and flap. Mary Lou Retton!Copy !req
70. Palm tree and palm tree.
Lady Liberty. Lady Liberty.Copy !req
71. Around the harbor. Around the harbor.
Circle Line tour.Copy !req
72. And hurricane.Copy !req
73. Can you believe how extraordinarily
gifted my girls are?Copy !req
74. Absolutely unbelievable.Copy !req
75. Ow!
- Really.Copy !req
76. - Sam!
Find each other. Look...Copy !req
77. - I'm coming.
One, two, three and four...Copy !req
78. and right, left, up and down.Copy !req
79. Is this the Norwegian salmon I asked for?
I need my omega-3s.Copy !req
80. Only the best.Copy !req
81. Hmm. Uh-huh.Copy !req
82. I can tell.Copy !req
83. You know, it costs a fortune to fly
that stuff in from Norwegia.Copy !req
84. And push it, ladies. Push it, ladies.
Push it, ladies.Copy !req
85. Ready? Okay.
And—Copy !req
86. - Oopsie.
- Ew!Copy !req
87. - Gross. Mom!
- I have a spastic colon.Copy !req
88. Well, you have a spastic brain.Copy !req
89. - Stop. Stop hitting her.
You bit me.Copy !req
90. What are you doing just standing there?
Get to work.Copy !req
91. I can't go to work now.
I've got a big test I have to study for.Copy !req
92. Listen, Sam. People go to school
to get smarter...Copy !req
93. so that they can get a job.Copy !req
94. You already have a job.
So it's like skipping a step.Copy !req
95. Come on, get going.Copy !req
96. - And Flying Karamazov.
Oh...Copy !req
97. No, honey. Leave those on.Copy !req
98. The lawn looks a little brown.Copy !req
99. Fiona, we're supposed to be conserving
water. We're in the middle of a drought.Copy !req
100. Droughts are for poor people.Copy !req
101. Do you think J. Lo has a brown lawn?Copy !req
102. People who use extra water
have extra class.Copy !req
103. You call that grade-A beef? Well,
that cow must have cheated on his test.Copy !req
104. Pickup.
Oh...Copy !req
105. Jeez.Copy !req
106. Bobby, enough with the salmon.Copy !req
107. You already made a salmon omelet,
salmon soup and salmon pudding.Copy !req
108. Come on.Copy !req
109. - Help me. Fiona wants to eat me.
- That's nasty.Copy !req
110. - Bite me, Rhonda. Bite me.
That's nasty.Copy !req
111. - Eleanor, your order's up.
Coming. I got it.Copy !req
112. - Safe.
- Ooh...Copy !req
113. I'm okay.Copy !req
114. - Chuck, how you doing?
Super.Copy !req
115. That's good. So cheese omelet,
extra bacon, crisp...Copy !req
116. - ... blueberry muffin and a Coke.
- Make it a Diet Coke.Copy !req
117. I'm trying to watch my weight.Copy !req
118. Oh. It ain't going nowhere.Copy !req
119. Pick up these salmon waffles.Copy !req
120. - Sam, why are you still here?
- I'm almost done.Copy !req
121. - You'll be late for school.
- I'll get there.Copy !req
122. - Fiona goes ballistic if I don't finish.
- I don't care.Copy !req
123. - What I care about is your education.
- But—Copy !req
124. She's got you getting up
at the crack of dawn.Copy !req
125. - Your dad would want you at school.
- But—Copy !req
126. No more "buts." You just leave Fiona
and her big butt to me.Copy !req
127. - Thanks, Rhonda.
- Get.Copy !req
128. Hey, looking good, Mr. Farrell.Copy !req
129. A man's best friend is his Mercedes,
Sam.Copy !req
130. I'll remember that.Copy !req
131. Any— Anything is possible
if you just believe.Copy !req
132. - Anything is possible if you just—
- Audition today, son?Copy !req
133. - Yeah, 5:00, all right? Tell Mom.
- Knock them dead.Copy !req
134. Dad. Now, do you see what I have to go
to school in? No offense, Sam.Copy !req
135. Honestly, don't you feel sorry
for me?Copy !req
136. No, I feel sorry about the three cars
we got you that you totaled.Copy !req
137. Okay. All right.Copy !req
138. - Carter, what are you wearing?
- What—?Copy !req
139. This is my Snoop Dizzle look.Copy !req
140. I cannot drive you to school like that.Copy !req
141. Sam, I am a Method actor, okay?
This is part of my training.Copy !req
142. I know, I know, I know. But look at this.Copy !req
143. All right. Take two.Copy !req
144. Buenos dias, Fighting Frogs.Copy !req
145. Here's your daily drought reminder
to conserve agua.Copy !req
146. Cut your showers short.Copy !req
147. Brownie points go out to Mr. Rothman,
who hasn't had one in weeks.Copy !req
148. Remember, today's your last chance
to get tickets...Copy !req
149. to the big Halloween homecoming
dance.Copy !req
150. You too can dress up like someone
you're not, for a change.Copy !req
151. - I mean, l—
- I pledge allegiance to the flag...Copy !req
152. of the United States of America,
and to the republic...Copy !req
153. for which it stands, one nation—Copy !req
154. Primo parking spot dead ahead.Copy !req
155. There's a spot. There's a spot.
Sam, watch out. Watch out.Copy !req
156. Okay. You snooze, you lose!Copy !req
157. Well, if it isn't Shelby Cummings
and her ladies in waiting.Copy !req
158. - Shelby wants me so bad.
- You've never even talked to her before.Copy !req
159. Oh, I've talked to her. Okay?Copy !req
160. In my mind. And let me tell you,
in my mind, she wants me so bad.Copy !req
161. Carter, you could do so much better than
Shelby Cummings. Even in your mind.Copy !req
162. - There's another spot.
Got it.Copy !req
163. Come on.Copy !req
164. Austin.Copy !req
165. People like Shelby and Austin...Copy !req
166. are genetically programmed
to find each other.Copy !req
167. How can so much ego be
in one relationship?Copy !req
168. - lmagine what they say about you.
- They don't even know I exist.Copy !req
169. Ew! Stalkerazzi at 3 o'clock.Copy !req
170. The white zone is for cool people only.
No geeks.Copy !req
171. Hey, diner girl, can I get a
breakfast burrito to go? Thank you.Copy !req
172. And you thought they didn't
know you exist.Copy !req
173. That car's as old as that hat.
Right.Copy !req
174. Move. Move. Move.Copy !req
175. - Move.
- Hi.Copy !req
176. - Move.
- Shelby. Hey, sister-friend.Copy !req
177. Remind me why we tolerate them.Copy !req
178. They gave you a Prada bag
for your birthday.Copy !req
179. Try "Frada" bag. Totally fake.Copy !req
180. Greetings. Samantha, you look absolutely
stunning today, as per usual.Copy !req
181. Thank you, Terry.Copy !req
182. If you'll excuse me, I must get back
to my galaxy now.Copy !req
183. Zion, Lieutenant Terry here. Hello?Copy !req
184. Can you hear me? Captain?
You're going in and out.Copy !req
185. - Poor guy.
- At least he's happy.Copy !req
186. Happy?
- I copy.Copy !req
187. Guy lives in another world.Copy !req
188. Sometimes fantasy is better
than reality, Carter.Copy !req
189. - Speaking of fantasy.
- I'll see you later.Copy !req
190. Yes, the secret admirer beckons.Copy !req
191. Where have you been?
We haven't talked in ages.Copy !req
192. We talked this morning.Copy !req
193. I can't stop thinking about you.Copy !req
194. What's on your mind right now?Copy !req
195. You first.Copy !req
196. Well, I'm thinking that Professor
Rothman's dissected one too many frogs.Copy !req
197. Ribet, ribet.Copy !req
198. Laugh out loud.Copy !req
199. I wanna hear your laugh.
When can we finally meet?Copy !req
200. Soon.Copy !req
201. How's your day so far?Copy !req
202. Raging stepmom, work and cool kids
who can't get over themselves.Copy !req
203. - Ever feel like you don't belong?
Absolutely.Copy !req
204. I can be surrounded by a sea
of people and still feel all alone.Copy !req
205. Then I think of you.Copy !req
206. Hey, Nomad, do you think
we've ever met?Copy !req
207. I don't know. Our school
has over 3500 kids.Copy !req
208. Well, that narrows it down.Copy !req
209. Well, at least I can eliminate the guys.Copy !req
210. You're not a guy, right?
Because if you are, I'll kick your butt.Copy !req
211. I am not a guy.Copy !req
212. Have you told your dad
about Princeton yet?Copy !req
213. If only I could. I haven't even
told him I wanna be a writer.Copy !req
214. My father always encouraged me
to pursue my dreams.Copy !req
215. Not mine. He has another plan
for my life.Copy !req
216. It's 2 a.m. We've been at this
for five hours.Copy !req
217. Well, I think we broke our record.Copy !req
218. We should turn in. Sweet dreams.
- Wait.Copy !req
219. I can't sleep without knowing
there's hope.Copy !req
220. Half the night I waste in sighs.Copy !req
221. In a wakeful doze I sorrow.Copy !req
222. For the hand, the lips...Copy !req
223. the eyes.Copy !req
224. For the meeting of tomorrow.Copy !req
225. Quoting Tennyson. Impressive.Copy !req
226. Please meet me at
the homecoming dance.Copy !req
227. I'll be waiting for you at 1 1 :00
in the middle of the dance floor.Copy !req
228. Sweet dreams.Copy !req
229. Oh! That was close.Copy !req
230. - You're finally gonna be able to meet him.
- I don't know. He's too good to be true.Copy !req
231. Come on. It's been, like, a month...Copy !req
232. since you met him
in that Princeton chat room, okay?Copy !req
233. You talk to him all the time.
You know him.Copy !req
234. I know, but he doesn't know me.Copy !req
235. What if I meet him
and I'm not what he expects?Copy !req
236. Maybe this whole relationship's
just better for cyberspace.Copy !req
237. Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
238. Listen, okay? You have to go
to that dance, okay?Copy !req
239. This Nomad guy isn't gonna be
in one place for long, all right?Copy !req
240. - if it helps, I'll be your escort.
- Really?Copy !req
241. - Yeah.
- You rock, Carter.Copy !req
242. - Hello?
Sam.Copy !req
243. Some little brat got into my salmon
and ate it all.Copy !req
244. I need more salmon.
And pick up my dry cleaning.Copy !req
245. And wash the Jag.Copy !req
246. Fiona. One more pitch.Copy !req
247. Why do you act like her slave?Copy !req
248. Simple. No Fiona,
no money for Princeton.Copy !req
249. - That sucks.
- Tell me about it.Copy !req
250. Hey, it's out of here.Copy !req
251. Damn, a girl hit that.
See, now that's impressive.Copy !req
252. So, what are you and Shelby going
to the dance as?Copy !req
253. Uh... I don't know
if I'm going with Shelby.Copy !req
254. You're not gonna go with Shelby?
Who else you gonna go with?Copy !req
255. I don't know. It's a mystery to me.Copy !req
256. - Thank you.
- You're welcome.Copy !req
257. Okay, guys. Come on.
A little bit further. Right there.Copy !req
258. Thirty percent off for USC alumni.Copy !req
259. Looks good, my friend.
Make sure you get these rims.Copy !req
260. - Austin.
- What's up?Copy !req
261. What's with all those college brochures
in your bedroom?Copy !req
262. What are you doing in my room?Copy !req
263. - I'm trying to keep my options open.
- You don't need options.Copy !req
264. It is all taken care of.Copy !req
265. Look, son, we've been working on this
program since you were 9 years old.Copy !req
266. You're gonna play USC football,
graduate...Copy !req
267. and then you'll manage this business
with me. Your future's set.Copy !req
268. So don't mess with the plan. All right?Copy !req
269. Wouldn't think of it.Copy !req
270. There's another customer.
Go make them happy.Copy !req
271. Yes, sir, here's your car.Copy !req
272. Well, you need a wax.Copy !req
273. - Excuse me?
- I meant the car.Copy !req
274. Oh, fine.Copy !req
275. - Austin.
- Hi.Copy !req
276. - We need our cars washed.
- Yeah, look.Copy !req
277. Dirt.Copy !req
278. One second, ladies. All right.Copy !req
279. Take this inside when you're done.
Thank you very much.Copy !req
280. Oh, my God, he is an angel.Copy !req
281. - He's so cute.
- I know.Copy !req
282. So who'd you guys pay to make
your cars so dirty?Copy !req
283. Excuse me? Like, what are you,
the dirt police?Copy !req
284. Yeah. The dirt police.Copy !req
285. Like, excuse me, miss, do you know
how fast your dirt was going?Copy !req
286. You should have stopped
with the dirt police.Copy !req
287. You should get going,
because our mom's looking for you.Copy !req
288. - Well, where is she?
- She's at home, baking.Copy !req
289. You wanted to see me?
- Yes.Copy !req
290. Oh, my— Did you finish your errands?Copy !req
291. Because I need you to head to the diner
and take the night shift.Copy !req
292. Tonight's my night off and it's
the Halloween dance at school, so—Copy !req
293. I know, but you need to stop being so
self-centered and start thinking of others.Copy !req
294. Others need you to go to the diner
and mop the floors tonight.Copy !req
295. But I really need to go to this dance,
Fiona. I have to.Copy !req
296. You need to earn your tuition money
for college.Copy !req
297. You gotta bus a lot of tables.Copy !req
298. I'm a straight-A student.Copy !req
299. I work seven days a week
and I'm taking extra AP classes.Copy !req
300. I never asked you for anything.
Please let me go to this dance.Copy !req
301. Sweetheart, now that you're
old enough...Copy !req
302. there's something
I've always wanted to tell you...Copy !req
303. and I think you're ready to hear it.Copy !req
304. You're not very pretty,
and you're not very bright.Copy !req
305. I'm so glad we had that talk.Copy !req
306. Man, you—
Scoot over, bro.Copy !req
307. See if we can get a bigger table.
Move over.Copy !req
308. Oh...Copy !req
309. You're in my way.Copy !req
310. It must be Halloween. Look what just
flew in. The wicked witch of the Valley.Copy !req
311. I'm gonna be picking up Gabriella
and Brianna at the Halloween dance.Copy !req
312. - I'll be back by 12 sharp.
- Okay.Copy !req
313. Ooh. Still got room in there, huh?Copy !req
314. Well, if it isn't little Betty Crocker
from the 'hood.Copy !req
315. Don't you have something to do,
like cleaning toilets?Copy !req
316. You know, I would, but I'm too busy
running this place. But be my guest.Copy !req
317. I'm sorry, I can't, because I just got
a $150 manicure. Silver palm trees.Copy !req
318. Keep it up, Fiona, and I'm gonna find
a place to put my $6 pedicure.Copy !req
319. Where are your skates?
That's part of the uniform.Copy !req
320. Fiona, if I wanted to look like a clown,
I'd join the circus.Copy !req
321. If you were part of my circus...Copy !req
322. I'd have you clean elephant butts
with a Wet One.Copy !req
323. - I don't think you realize that I could—
- Fire me? Oh, please, go right ahead.Copy !req
324. And let's see how many customers
you have left when you do.Copy !req
325. I am a very appealing person.Copy !req
326. Yeah, in your head.Copy !req
327. - "I'm a very appealing person."
- "I'm a very appealing person."Copy !req
328. That woman can make a nun swear.Copy !req
329. I'm graduating a year early so I can
be 3000 miles away in Princeton.Copy !req
330. You could go to the University of Mars
and it still wouldn't be far enough.Copy !req
331. Honey, I'm desperate.Copy !req
332. - Can you cover that back booth?
We're waiting.Copy !req
333. I can't eat anything here.
- But—Copy !req
334. I have the feeling I won't be able
to get a Zone meal here.Copy !req
335. - I already ate.
- Laxatives don't qualify as a food group.Copy !req
336. - Surprised you didn't know that.
Stop it.Copy !req
337. Well, if it isn't diner girl.Copy !req
338. - What can I get you guys?
- What can I get here that has no sugar...Copy !req
339. - ... no carbs and is fat-free?
- Water.Copy !req
340. Water? Feisty.
- Was that supposed to be a joke?Copy !req
341. It was funny.Copy !req
342. - I'll have a Voss.
- Excuse me?Copy !req
343. - It's water. From Norway.
She's the worst.Copy !req
344. Sorry, we only have water
from the Valley.Copy !req
345. Oh, well, then I'll have an iced tea.Copy !req
346. Make that two.
And I'm still waiting...Copy !req
347. - ... on that breakfast burrito, diner girl.
- See you.Copy !req
348. Thank you.
- She is so not getting a tip.Copy !req
349. Shelby, we really need to talk.
Privately.Copy !req
350. Anything you say to me,
you can say in front of my peeps.Copy !req
351. Okay.Copy !req
352. I wanna break up.Copy !req
353. - What?
Ouch.Copy !req
354. That was harsh.Copy !req
355. - Are you in love with somebody else?
- I think so.Copy !req
356. No way.
What? Who, bro?Copy !req
357. I don't know.Copy !req
358. - But we can still be—
- Don't say the word "friends."Copy !req
359. Fortunately for you, I'm gonna overlook
this mental breakdown of yours.Copy !req
360. Look, just chill out. We're gonna go get
ready for the dance, and I'll see you there.Copy !req
361. Later. Late.Copy !req
362. - That went well, bro.
- No, she took it well.Copy !req
363. Good looking out.Copy !req
364. Later, diner girl.
Too late.Copy !req
365. Oh. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
366. You know, those kids remind me
of why I used to fight in school.Copy !req
367. Have no fear.Copy !req
368. Zorro is here.Copy !req
369. And he's got the keys
to his dad's Mercedes.Copy !req
370. You're going dressed as a bus girl?Copy !req
371. - Carter, I'm not going.
- What do you mean, you're not going?Copy !req
372. Okay, sorry. Sorry.
What about cyberdude?Copy !req
373. Cyberdude?Copy !req
374. That the boy that's been sending
you love notes?Copy !req
375. - They're not love notes. They're e-mails.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
376. If a man is taking his time to write down
his feelings for you, it's a love note.Copy !req
377. You've got a secret admirer.Copy !req
378. And he wants to meet her tonight
at the dance.Copy !req
379. - What are you still doing here?
- I'm obeying orders.Copy !req
380. - Sam, this is your true love.
- Well, true love is gonna have to wait.Copy !req
381. Oh, girl, please, save all that drama
for the soap operas.Copy !req
382. You are going to that dance.Copy !req
383. Go ahead, girlfriend.Copy !req
384. I can't go. Fiona would kill me and then
bring me back to clean up the mess.Copy !req
385. She's gonna have to go
through me to hurt you.Copy !req
386. - Go, girlfriend. Do your thing.
- Call me "girlfriend" one more time.Copy !req
387. Okay, sorry.Copy !req
388. Sam, your dad did not leave this earth
wanting you to be unhappy.Copy !req
389. It's time for you to find your own bliss,
starting with this dance.Copy !req
390. Sam, you need to listen to Rhonda.Copy !req
391. You're always studying, always working.
Take some time for yourself.Copy !req
392. Yeah, why don't you go out
and bust a move.Copy !req
393. - Put your freak on.
- Whatever it is you kids do these days.Copy !req
394. You know what? You guys are right.
I never do anything for myself.Copy !req
395. - No, you don't.
True.Copy !req
396. And I deserve to have some fun.Copy !req
397. - That's right.
Yeah.Copy !req
398. - I am gonna go to that dance.
- Okay, great.Copy !req
399. And I am gonna meet my true love
and I'm gonna dance all night.Copy !req
400. - I can't go.
- What?Copy !req
401. I don't have a costume.Copy !req
402. - But you will. Are you coming, Zorro?
Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
403. Vernon. Sam needs a costume.Copy !req
404. No. No, Rhonda. I am closed.Copy !req
405. Come on, I'll give you free breakfast
for a week.Copy !req
406. Make it a month.Copy !req
407. There's gotta be something here.Copy !req
408. There is this one.Copy !req
409. Ew.Copy !req
410. Perfect.Copy !req
411. - Ole!
- No way.Copy !req
412. Hey, you're killing me here.Copy !req
413. Aloha.Copy !req
414. No, no. I got something.Copy !req
415. Bless you.Copy !req
416. Rhonda, this is hopeless. Oh.Copy !req
417. Vernon, let me see that mask.Copy !req
418. I don't have an outfit
that goes with that.Copy !req
419. Yeah, but I do.Copy !req
420. Rhonda, you sure do have a knack...Copy !req
421. for taking something simple
and making it beautiful.Copy !req
422. Well, you ain't seen nothing yet.Copy !req
423. I was saving this dress for my
next attempt down the aisle.Copy !req
424. Long story.Copy !req
425. It's beautiful.Copy !req
426. - Rhonda, I can't wear that.
- Yes, you can. And you will.Copy !req
427. That dress has been in that box so long,
it deserves a night out.Copy !req
428. Let's go.Copy !req
429. This is gonna look so good on you.Copy !req
430. Welcome, high school seniors...Copy !req
431. to the Halloween homecoming dance.Copy !req
432. Tonight, our panel of esteemed teachers
will use their years of higher education...Copy !req
433. to choose our homecoming
prince and princess.Copy !req
434. In true L.A. fashion,
it's not about who you are.Copy !req
435. It's about what you wear.
Are you ready to crank it up? Yeah.Copy !req
436. I cannot believe I put you in charge
of costumes.Copy !req
437. I told you Siamese cats,
not Siamese twins.Copy !req
438. Are we having a catfight?Copy !req
439. Welcome.
What up?Copy !req
440. - Sorry about your costume getting lost.
- It's all good.Copy !req
441. No, it's not. We don't get to be
the Three Musketeers.Copy !req
442. You get to be Prince Charming
and we're the two wimps in wigs.Copy !req
443. Take the cape off already.
You look amazing.Copy !req
444. - I'm sorry, I'm just freaking out here.
- Listen, it's gonna be okay.Copy !req
445. - Hurry up, it's almost 11.
- Carter, wait.Copy !req
446. Remember, I have to be back
in the diner by 12, okay?Copy !req
447. Okay, give me your cell phone.
Come on, cell phone.Copy !req
448. Okay. All right, I'm going to set
the alarm for a quarter to 12, okay?Copy !req
449. - Okay.
- All right, there. Now, give me the cape.Copy !req
450. Come on, it's time.Copy !req
451. Sam, what are they all staring at?Copy !req
452. Love her dress. Hate her.Copy !req
453. Sam, don't worry, okay?Copy !req
454. Any guy would have to be completely
insane not to like you, all right?Copy !req
455. I'm just gonna be standing
right over here. Okay.Copy !req
456. Do you know
you're standing precisely...Copy !req
457. in the middle of the dance floor?Copy !req
458. Fate has brought us together right here
at this anointed hour...Copy !req
459. under the shimmering disco ball.Copy !req
460. Terry.Copy !req
461. - Are you Nomad?
- Nomad?Copy !req
462. Indeed. I have traveled through time
and space to find you.Copy !req
463. Now join me in
the mating dance of Zion.Copy !req
464. Terry, that's nice.Copy !req
465. Hey, I know that girl from somewhere.Copy !req
466. Uh... Uh...Copy !req
467. - I'm thirsty. I gotta get some punch—
- Some libations for the fair maiden?Copy !req
468. Your wish is my command.Copy !req
469. I knew this was too good to be true.Copy !req
470. Princeton Girl?Copy !req
471. Austin Ames?Copy !req
472. - You're Nomad?
- Yeah, I guess my costume doesn't do...Copy !req
473. - ... a very good job at hiding who I am.
- No, I know exactly who you are.Copy !req
474. I'm sorry. This was a really big mistake.
I've gotta go.Copy !req
475. Wait. Wait.Copy !req
476. Wait. It's not a mistake.Copy !req
477. - Don't you know who I am?
- Of course I do. You're Princeton Girl.Copy !req
478. You're the girl I've been waiting to meet.
I know who you are.Copy !req
479. What's your name?Copy !req
480. Your sweet libations, my lady.Copy !req
481. Mr. Anderson.Copy !req
482. Austin Ames with my lady.
A devastating blow.Copy !req
483. A worthy opponent.Copy !req
484. - What about your girlfriend?
- It's over.Copy !req
485. I guess you were expecting some guy
who hangs out at Starbucks...Copy !req
486. - ... and writes poetry.
- Something like that.Copy !req
487. Come on, you're Austin Ames.Copy !req
488. You're football captain
and student body president.Copy !req
489. And closet poet?
You can't be both guys.Copy !req
490. - I'm not.
- Then who are you?Copy !req
491. On September 7th, I wrote you:Copy !req
492. "I live in a world full of people pretending
to be something they're not.Copy !req
493. - But when I talk to you—"
- "I'm the guy I wanna be."Copy !req
494. Give me a chance to be that guy.Copy !req
495. Do you want to join me
for a stroll outside?Copy !req
496. If you wanna be voted homecoming
prince, you'd better stay inside.Copy !req
497. I really don't care about becoming
homecoming prince.Copy !req
498. So, Princeton Girl, would you
tell me who you are if I guessed it right?Copy !req
499. Maybe.
- Maybe?Copy !req
500. - Well, how about we play 20 questions.
How about 10.Copy !req
501. I'll take what I can get.Copy !req
502. Okay, first question.Copy !req
503. You do actually go to
North Valley High School, right?Copy !req
504. - Of course.
- Look, I'm just checking.Copy !req
505. I mean, you never know
with the lnternet.Copy !req
506. Okay, next question.Copy !req
507. Were you disappointed when you
found out that I was Nomad?Copy !req
508. - Be honest.
- Surprisingly, no.Copy !req
509. Did you vote for me for
student body president?Copy !req
510. - Surprisingly, yes.
- Really? Hmm...Copy !req
511. Okay, I got it. Given the choice...Copy !req
512. would you rather have a rice cake
or a Big Mac?Copy !req
513. - A Big Mac. But what does that matter?
- Well, I like a girl with a hearty appetite.Copy !req
514. And besides, you just eliminated about
50 percent of the girls in our class.Copy !req
515. You'd think I'd remember those eyes.Copy !req
516. You're so beautiful.Copy !req
517. Um...Copy !req
518. Next question.Copy !req
519. What's up, girl?Copy !req
520. - What are you supposed to be?
- A Three Musketeer.Copy !req
521. - You don't look like a candy bar.
- Right.Copy !req
522. Look, now that you
and Austin are toast...Copy !req
523. okay, why don't we
have our own little party.Copy !req
524. - Back off, David.
- Come on, Shelby. I know you like me.Copy !req
525. - No. Stop it. No.
- I know— I know it.Copy !req
526. - No, stop it. Stop.
- Come on.Copy !req
527. The lady said, "Stop."Copy !req
528. - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
529. Give me that!
- Oh, God.Copy !req
530. I just saw your life flash
before your eyes.Copy !req
531. Oh, yeah? Well, did you see the part
where I run away?Copy !req
532. - That was awesome.
Oh, you're dead, taco boy!Copy !req
533. Ladies.Copy !req
534. You're mine!
Move over, please.Copy !req
535. - It's over, dude.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
536. - Yeah.
- Well, I hate to tell you this, dude...Copy !req
537. but I starred in Pirates ofPenzance
three times.Copy !req
538. - Oh, yeah?
- Say hello to Act 2, Scene 1.Copy !req
539. Wow.Copy !req
540. If I ask you to dance,
does that count as a question?Copy !req
541. There's no music.Copy !req
542. So?Copy !req
543. All out of questions?Copy !req
544. Do you believe in love at first sight?Copy !req
545. I'll let you know.Copy !req
546. - But I've seen you before?
- Yes.Copy !req
547. Man. How could I have
seen you before...Copy !req
548. and not know who you are now?Copy !req
549. Maybe you were looking,
but you weren't really seeing.Copy !req
550. - You've got one more question left.
- Okay.Copy !req
551. Do you, Princeton Girl...Copy !req
552. feel like you made the right choice
meeting me here tonight?Copy !req
553. I do.Copy !req
554. And do you, Austin Ames,
ever wanna see me again after tonight?Copy !req
555. I'd have to think about that.Copy !req
556. Absolutely.Copy !req
557. Not now.Copy !req
558. - What?
- I've gotta go.Copy !req
559. - You have a curfew or something?
- Something like that.Copy !req
560. I'm sorry, but thank you.
This has been the most amazing night.Copy !req
561. - Where are you going?
- I'm late.Copy !req
562. - For what?
- Reality.Copy !req
563. I was right in the middle
of a power jam.Copy !req
564. - You totally harshed my mellow.
- You'll get over it and live.Copy !req
565. Hello! It is almost midnight.Copy !req
566. And that means it's time to announce
who we have selected...Copy !req
567. What's up?
- Have you seen the girl I was with?Copy !req
568. No, I haven't seen her,
but you missed it.Copy !req
569. I beat some kid's butt. It was crazy.Copy !req
570. Now, the moment you've
all been waiting for.Copy !req
571. - Carter? Carter. Carter, come on.
- Your new North Valley High...Copy !req
572. homecoming prince and princess...Copy !req
573. - I'm gonna be late.
- ... are Prince Charming and Cinderella!Copy !req
574. It's you, bro. It's you.Copy !req
575. My dear, I must bid you adieu.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
576. - A what?
- I gotta go. I'm sorry.Copy !req
577. Hurry up!Copy !req
578. Bravo! There he is, bravo!Copy !req
579. Looks like Cinderella
is playing hard to get.Copy !req
580. I almost kissed Austin Ames!Copy !req
581. I totally, totally kissed
Shelby Cummings!Copy !req
582. Wait, so, what—? What did he say
when he found out that you were you?Copy !req
583. He didn't say, because he didn't find out.Copy !req
584. You didn't tell him? Why not?Copy !req
585. Carter, I live in an attic, okay?Copy !req
586. I drive a beat-up old car,
and he's expecting Malibu Barbie.Copy !req
587. I'll be doing him a favor
if I just disappear.Copy !req
588. Shotgun.
I'm shotgun.Copy !req
589. Get in.
- Stop pulling.Copy !req
590. Where are your crowns?
Where are your prizes?Copy !req
591. - Winners get prizes.
- We didn't win, Mom.Copy !req
592. Some girl stole it from us.Copy !req
593. I am very, very, very, very upset
about this.Copy !req
594. - You don't look upset.
- It's the Botox.Copy !req
595. I can't show emotion
for another hour and a half.Copy !req
596. I told you she wanted me bad.
Carter, just drive.Copy !req
597. - Spam?
- Spam?Copy !req
598. BRlANNA & GABRlELLA:
Mom!Copy !req
599. - It's Sam! Over there.
- Over there.Copy !req
600. Hi, Mrs. Montgomery.Copy !req
601. - Mom, she was there. She's in the car.
We saw her, Mom.Copy !req
602. That's ridiculous.
She's working tonight.Copy !req
603. - She would never disobey me.
- She was there.Copy !req
604. She was.
In the car.Copy !req
605. - l—
Shut your cat face.Copy !req
606. Did they see me?
- No, I don't think so...Copy !req
607. but the wannabe Olsen twins
might have.Copy !req
608. I know you wanna take care of this car,
but can you step on it?Copy !req
609. In case you haven't noticed, I'm already
going 38 in a 35-mile zone, Sam...Copy !req
610. so can you just lay off, please?Copy !req
611. Come on, catch up to them.Copy !req
612. Will you speed up? We've got to
beat Sam back to the diner.Copy !req
613. Shut up, girls. We'll be back
at the diner soon enough.Copy !req
614. Soon enough isn't soon enough!Copy !req
615. What are you doing?
Take your paw off the gas!Copy !req
616. I can't. It's stuck!Copy !req
617. Go, go.Copy !req
618. Carter, you could've totally
made that light.Copy !req
619. FYI, Sam, yellow means slow down,
okay? Not speed up.Copy !req
620. I need The Fast and the Furious,
not Driving Miss Daisy.Copy !req
621. We're gonna die!Copy !req
622. - Was that...?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
623. Mother, stop!
- We're gonna die!Copy !req
624. Uh-oh. I think I need to use
the litter box.Copy !req
625. Ew.
- Oh, my God. My face is back.Copy !req
626. - Ha! I told you she wasn't here.
No dope.Copy !req
627. - Where is Sam?
- What do you mean, where is Sam?Copy !req
628. - Where do you think she is?
- She better be here.Copy !req
629. Fiona, I was gonna talk to you about
something that I really— Fiona, wait!Copy !req
630. I want my breasts done.
Where did you get those?Copy !req
631. San Diego. Excuse me.Copy !req
632. Did you notice how shiny the floors
are since we switched to Mr. Clean?Copy !req
633. - What are you, a commercial? Click.
Oh, mommy, oh.Copy !req
634. Fiona, I'm so glad you're here,
because...Copy !req
635. The fish. Nemo is no more. Smell.Copy !req
636. - There is a tear in one of the booths.
- We were gonna tell you.Copy !req
637. What am I supposed to do
with a dead fish?Copy !req
638. Everyone, shut up!Copy !req
639. When I find her, I'm gonna wring her—Copy !req
640. Order's up.Copy !req
641. - Sam. What are you doing back there?
- Just working on my cooking skills.Copy !req
642. Yeah, I was teaching her to make
pancakes with salmon.Copy !req
643. How was the dance, girls?Copy !req
644. You know, something stinks
around here.Copy !req
645. And it's not the fish.Copy !req
646. You're gonna get it. Come on, girls.Copy !req
647. We made it, and not a scratch.Copy !req
648. Girls, come on.
You bit me, you dumb face.Copy !req
649. Car smells like bad cheese.
Ow!Copy !req
650. Don't put your dirty paws all over me.Copy !req
651. What is he doing here?Copy !req
652. Tonight must be my lucky night.
Okay.Copy !req
653. Mrs. Montgomery...Copy !req
654. your sign hit my...Copy !req
655. car.Copy !req
656. Here's your daily drought reminder:Copy !req
657. Only flush for number two.Copy !req
658. Austin Ames was crowned prince
of the homecoming dance.Copy !req
659. Big shocker there.
Didn't see that one coming.Copy !req
660. But the real mystery, though,
is who was his princess?Copy !req
661. How long are you grounded for?
Well, how long is forever?Copy !req
662. - So you're not gonna tell Austin?
- Come on, Carter.Copy !req
663. It's not like he'll pine for me. Trust me,
he's forgotten all about Cinderella by now.Copy !req
664. Yeah, he's obviously forgotten
all about you.Copy !req
665. Dude, why are you going through
all this trouble for one chick?Copy !req
666. Look, she's not just some chick, all right?
She was real.Copy !req
667. - Real. Like, she still had her old nose.
- No, real.Copy !req
668. A girl who has more on her mind
than what she wears...Copy !req
669. or how much weight
she wants to lose.Copy !req
670. - She listens to me.
Listens to you?Copy !req
671. Hey, brother, I listen to you, okay?
I feel your pai—Copy !req
672. - Hello, kitty.
- Yeah, you're a great listener.Copy !req
673. - Well—
- Look, man, you found her cell phone.Copy !req
674. - You just gotta get some clue from that.
- The phone's locked.Copy !req
675. I keep getting messages like,
"I need you," and, "Come see me now."Copy !req
676. - Oh, dude, it's so hot.
- See, that's what I thought.Copy !req
677. Until I got one that said,
"Come fix fryer."Copy !req
678. Oh, dude, that's hot and kinky, baby.Copy !req
679. You know what I'm saying?
Can I get one? Let me get a pound, baby.Copy !req
680. He's looking for you everywhere.
Tell him it was you.Copy !req
681. Isn't it better to cling
to what might've been...Copy !req
682. instead of ruining everything
with reality?Copy !req
683. - You can't hide from him forever.
- Not forever.Copy !req
684. Just until graduation, when I leave
this place and never see him again.Copy !req
685. Okay, so, what about you, Zorro?
When are you gonna tell Shelby?Copy !req
686. Well, I've been thinking about doing
just that, as a matter of fact.Copy !req
687. Right. Okay, so the day you tell Shelby
it was you, I'll tell Austin it was me.Copy !req
688. - Deal.
- Deal.Copy !req
689. Look in the yearbook again.Copy !req
690. Maybe she's foreign exchange.
That's hot.Copy !req
691. Totally. That's, like—
That's, like, le hot.Copy !req
692. Look, there's no way I missed her.
I mean, we had a connection.Copy !req
693. - Thanks.
Jeez, are you okay?Copy !req
694. Keep your legs straight.
Straighter, straighter.Copy !req
695. What are you doing? Brianna!
After the flip, it's the butterfly rollover.Copy !req
696. - No, it's not. It's mermaid plunge!
- Yes!Copy !req
697. Oh, my God. I cannot wait
for my solo career!Copy !req
698. When are we going solo?Copy !req
699. He was so mysterious,
but really obvious at the same time.Copy !req
700. I mean, kind of dangerous, but very safe.
And wild, but tame.Copy !req
701. I'm gonna go change.Copy !req
702. I cannot believe you're gonna tell Shelby
it was you.Copy !req
703. Sam, once she realizes that she's found
her Zorro, okay, she'll be thrilled.Copy !req
704. - Now, watch and learn.
- Good luck.Copy !req
705. - And, oh, my God, when I kissed him, I—
- Enough already.Copy !req
706. Madison, I think somebody's got a green
monster on their back called Mr. Jealousy.Copy !req
707. - Shelby, baby, what's up?
- And you are?Copy !req
708. Yeah. Allow me to refresh your memory.Copy !req
709. - Zorro.
- You mean zero.Copy !req
710. - Who is he?
- That's Carter Farrell.Copy !req
711. He's the guy you cheat off
of in Algebra ll.Copy !req
712. The freak who hums show tunes?Copy !req
713. I'm in front.
- Quit it.Copy !req
714. Sorry.Copy !req
715. Let me in the front.
- Listen.Copy !req
716. Last night I had a very bad cold,
and I drank a whole bottle of NyQuil.Copy !req
717. - I just wasn't myself.
- But I thought we had, like, a connection.Copy !req
718. Okay. We don't have anything.Copy !req
719. We are from completely different classes
of human.Copy !req
720. Let's go back to our usual lives,
where we only mingle...Copy !req
721. when I copy you in Algebra ll, okay?Copy !req
722. - "Okay?"
We didn't rehearse it!Copy !req
723. Was that good?Copy !req
724. You all right?Copy !req
725. If she thinks she's still cheating off me,
she's crazy.Copy !req
726. I don't know about this.
Come on.Copy !req
727. - Just trust us.
- We asked every girl...Copy !req
728. if they were with you at the dance.
These said yes.Copy !req
729. - Oh, no. No, no, no.
- Austin! Introduce me on the cell phone.Copy !req
730. - Guys, come on.
- Sit down here.Copy !req
731. Okay! Austin Ames!Copy !req
732. Let's bring out bachelorette number one!Copy !req
733. She's a transfer from Woodland Hills,
enjoys collecting puka shells...Copy !req
734. long walks on the beach
and getting tubed.Copy !req
735. Pleased to meet you, Missy!Copy !req
736. - What's up, Austin?
- Thanks for coming, Missy.Copy !req
737. - See you, dude.
- You're dead.Copy !req
738. Okay, okay, let's bring out
bachelorette number two!Copy !req
739. This little filly's into barbells...Copy !req
740. World War ll and protein shakes.
Here's Helga.Copy !req
741. Thank you.Copy !req
742. You are so dead.Copy !req
743. - Okay, okay, next up is—
- Enough, enough. Guys, come on.Copy !req
744. Look, you're beautiful, okay?
But I'm not your prince.Copy !req
745. You'll meet him someday,
but it's not me.Copy !req
746. Thanks, Austin.Copy !req
747. - Uh-oh. Late entry.
- David, you stop it right now.Copy !req
748. You're a bad boy,
and that is a terrible shirt.Copy !req
749. Everybody, back to your class.Copy !req
750. Hi, Ryan.Copy !req
751. That's not fair!Copy !req
752. Don't want that, don't want that,
don't want that, don't want that.Copy !req
753. Oh...Copy !req
754. Accepted? Oh, this won't do.Copy !req
755. - Hey. Anything in the mail for me?
- Oh, actually...Copy !req
756. there's a personalized letter here
from Ed McMahon...Copy !req
757. saying you just won a million dollars.Copy !req
758. Don't spend it all in one place.Copy !req
759. Oh...Copy !req
760. I need to know who you are.
I can't take my mind off you.Copy !req
761. Please tell me who you are.Copy !req
762. Okay.Copy !req
763. - My name is—
Sam!Copy !req
764. - You missed the "Do Not Disturb" sign.
- No, I saw it.Copy !req
765. So you almost done with my report?
It's due Friday.Copy !req
766. - I'm working on it.
- Well, hurry up.Copy !req
767. It makes me nervous
to have to wait for it.Copy !req
768. Imagine how nervous you'd be
if you actually had to write it.Copy !req
769. My God, you're right.Copy !req
770. So this time, could you try
to make it sound more like me?Copy !req
771. I'm so sick of having to explain
why I sound so smart on paper...Copy !req
772. and so not smart not on paper.Copy !req
773. Sam? Can you come downstairs?
- I'll be right there.Copy !req
774. Now!Copy !req
775. I'll be right back.Copy !req
776. Hurry up.Copy !req
777. Huh-huh...Copy !req
778. Huh... Who the heck is Nomad?Copy !req
779. "Cinderella, are you not talking to me
because you freaked...Copy !req
780. when you found out I'm...Copy !req
781. Austin Ames?"Copy !req
782. Sam is Cinderella?Copy !req
783. Wow. I got in.
Austin!Copy !req
784. - Austin.
- What?Copy !req
785. What's going on?Copy !req
786. Nothing.Copy !req
787. Let me guess. You're thinking,
"Is USC really the right choice for me?"Copy !req
788. Well, yeah. I've been thinking
a lot about this and—Copy !req
789. Don't worry about it. You're making
the right choice, all right?Copy !req
790. Okay.Copy !req
791. It's me, Austin. It's Cinderella,
from the dance.Copy !req
792. Oh, you found me.Copy !req
793. Oh, no.Copy !req
794. "You see, Austin, I live in this world—"Copy !req
795. Full of people pretending
to be something they're not.Copy !req
796. - Pretending—
- "l miss you. I don't want—"Copy !req
797. I got it.Copy !req
798. - How are you doing?
- Good.Copy !req
799. - Regular wash?
- No, more like the royal treatment.Copy !req
800. I mean, that's what Cinderella
would want.Copy !req
801. - What did you just say?
- I'm her, Austin.Copy !req
802. I'm Cinderella, your dream girl.Copy !req
803. - You see, I live in a world full of—
You.Copy !req
804. What are you doing here?Copy !req
805. I'm Cinderella,
coming to meet my prince.Copy !req
806. That's a little hard,
considering I'm Cinderella.Copy !req
807. I mean, I'm the most "Cinderelly"
Cinderella there ever was.Copy !req
808. Ladies, ladies, ladies.
Look, I can settle this, all right?Copy !req
809. The girl that I met at the dance,
she dropped something on her way out.Copy !req
810. - What was it?
- Oh, that's easy.Copy !req
811. - A wallet.
- No.Copy !req
812. - I meant a wallet-purse.
- No.Copy !req
813. Oh. A fish.Copy !req
814. - A fish?
- It was the first thing...Copy !req
815. that popped into my head.
You said, "wallet-purse." What's that?Copy !req
816. - Austin?
Well.Copy !req
817. Look what you did. See?
You always ruin everything.Copy !req
818. I was supposed to be Cinderella.
I'm the oldest.Copy !req
819. By a minute and 26 seconds.
And you never let me forget it!Copy !req
820. - Well, maybe this will help you remember.
No.Copy !req
821. Come here!Copy !req
822. You're dead. I'm gonna kill you!Copy !req
823. Bri?Copy !req
824. Oh, I'm gonna kill you! Get off!Copy !req
825. - That's what you get for stealing my idea!
Hey, Dad, isn't that our car?Copy !req
826. I hate you!
I hate you!Copy !req
827. - Oh, no!
- Not the—Copy !req
828. - Hot wax!
- Hot wax!Copy !req
829. Thank you. Have a good night.Copy !req
830. Bobby, can I get two BLT's?
It's coming.Copy !req
831. That's him.Copy !req
832. That's good. Go over.
- No.Copy !req
833. Hey.Copy !req
834. Can I get you something?Copy !req
835. Do you know what bugs me?Copy !req
836. - People taking your order?
- No.Copy !req
837. Taking people's orders.Copy !req
838. - Why would you do that?
- You don't know my dad.Copy !req
839. Ugh. Sushi and doughnuts?
Who does that?Copy !req
840. - I'll take a coffee. Thank you.
Excuse me, miss?Copy !req
841. Do you ever feel like if you show
someone who you really are...Copy !req
842. they won't accept you?Copy !req
843. Yeah. I do.Copy !req
844. Like being yourself isn't good enough.Copy !req
845. - Right.
- Like you're wearing a mask.Copy !req
846. That's exactly how I feel.Copy !req
847. You just wanna be honest
with this person and tell them, "It's me.Copy !req
848. I'm the one that you've
been looking for."Copy !req
849. Yeah.Copy !req
850. Austin...Copy !req
851. - ... I'm—
Sam!Copy !req
852. - One second.
- No, now.Copy !req
853. No, it's cool, I gotta bounce.Copy !req
854. Oh, great, thank you so much.Copy !req
855. Oh.Copy !req
856. Thank you very much, Sam.Copy !req
857. You're welcome.Copy !req
858. Bonjour,
Fighting Frogs. Here's your daily reminder:Copy !req
859. Don't hose your lawn, your car,
or anybody else, for that matter.Copy !req
860. And remember, tickets
for the big game go on sale...Copy !req
861. And then she told us that she was
going to try to steal...Copy !req
862. Austin away from you
if that was the last thing she did.Copy !req
863. Our stepsister has always been
jealous of you.Copy !req
864. Go on.Copy !req
865. Well, that's when she invented
this whole Cinderella plot.Copy !req
866. She got ahold of Austin's
e-mail address...Copy !req
867. and that's when she
started the whole affair.Copy !req
868. We wanted to tell you sooner,
but she threatened to kill us.Copy !req
869. She's such a monster.Copy !req
870. Look, if you don't believe us,
look at the e-mails.Copy !req
871. She goes by Princeton Girl 818,
but her real name is Sam Montgomery.Copy !req
872. And we're Brianna and Gabriella.Copy !req
873. Ow.Copy !req
874. So that little boyfriend stealer
thinks she can pull a fast one on me?Copy !req
875. Well, we'll just see about that.Copy !req
876. Austin was really late today and asked me
if you'd read this announcement.Copy !req
877. "Cinderella...Copy !req
878. if you're listening, your prince wants to
rendezvous with you after the pep rally."Copy !req
879. Nothing like a pep rally
to warm up our prince.Copy !req
880. Carter! I talked to him.
And not as Cinderella.Copy !req
881. I talked to him as me, Sam,
and he didn't hate me.Copy !req
882. So you told him everything?Copy !req
883. No, not everything. Not the part
about me being Cinderella.Copy !req
884. But I'm gonna go tell him right after
the pep rally. You coming, cowboy?Copy !req
885. - So you think I look like a real cowboy?
- Sure.Copy !req
886. - Who we gonna beat?
The Lancers!Copy !req
887. - And when we gonna beat them?
- Friday!Copy !req
888. Good news. I just got off
the phone with Hank Cole.Copy !req
889. You play well on Friday, and your future
is set at USC football.Copy !req
890. That's great, Dad.Copy !req
891. And who's gonna lead us to victory?Copy !req
892. Austin!
I can't hear you!Copy !req
893. - Kill the Lancers!
Austin!Copy !req
894. Yay!Copy !req
895. The cheerleaders have put together
a skit to help get us in the spirit.Copy !req
896. I love you, Shelby!Copy !req
897. Thank you.Copy !req
898. "Once upon a time, there was
a big, strong Fighting Frog.Copy !req
899. He had a beautiful girlfriend, and his dad
owned the biggest pond in all the land.Copy !req
900. But he still wasn't happy.Copy !req
901. Aw...Copy !req
902. If only he can find a princess,
then she could kiss him...Copy !req
903. turn him into a prince,
and they would run away together.Copy !req
904. One night, after the slimy frog
ditches his super-hot...Copy !req
905. senior-poll-most-popular girlfriend,
he meets his princess."Copy !req
906. Your highness.Copy !req
907. "Alas, it turned out that
our frog not only had a secret identity...Copy !req
908. but also had a secret e-mail relationship
with a pen pal named Princeton Girl."Copy !req
909. This isn't good.Copy !req
910. Dear Princeton Girl, I can't wait
till we finally get to meet.Copy !req
911. You're the only one
who understands the real me.Copy !req
912. The man who doesn't want
to play USC football.Copy !req
913. But who wants to be at Princeton,
with you.Copy !req
914. - What are they talking about?
- Nothing.Copy !req
915. Dear Nomad, I want you to know
who I am, but I'm scared!Copy !req
916. I'm scared that you'll reject me.Copy !req
917. And I've never had a real kiss before.Copy !req
918. - I can't believe they're reading my e-mails.
Let's go.Copy !req
919. But our princess had a secret too.Copy !req
920. She wasn't royalty at all, but a geek,
a loser, a servant girl.Copy !req
921. Yeah!Copy !req
922. Any ideas about this?Copy !req
923. And who, may you ask, is this imposter?Copy !req
924. Give it up for the pretend princess,
diner girl, Sam Montgomery!Copy !req
925. Diner girl! Diner girl!
Diner girl! Diner girl!Copy !req
926. Come on.Copy !req
927. Sam!
- Go away!Copy !req
928. But, Sam, you've got a letter
from Princeton.Copy !req
929. What does it say?Copy !req
930. I didn't get in.Copy !req
931. Oh, no!Copy !req
932. And you studied so hard.Copy !req
933. I can't believe I actually thought
I had a chance.Copy !req
934. Sam, I'm heartbroken.Copy !req
935. Life can be so unfair.Copy !req
936. Well, just look at the bright side.Copy !req
937. You have a job at the diner
for the rest of your life.Copy !req
938. You want a cookie?Copy !req
939. Mm. They're so moist.Copy !req
940. People like her don't belong
in our world, Austin.Copy !req
941. Sam, what are you doing?Copy !req
942. I'm trying to get these floors clean.Copy !req
943. Come on, sweetie, get up.Copy !req
944. What I meant is, what are you
doing with your life?Copy !req
945. I'm diner girl. I'm doing what
diner girls do, Rhonda.Copy !req
946. Baby, what's gotten into you? You don't
even realize how blessed you are.Copy !req
947. Look, you've got a whole family
behind you.Copy !req
948. We have faith in you.Copy !req
949. And you gotta have faith in yourself.Copy !req
950. Mother!Copy !req
951. - Sam just ruined your wall.
What?Copy !req
952. Yes, you did. Well, that's gonna come
out of your paycheck.Copy !req
953. And cover up those stupid words.Copy !req
954. "Never let the fear of striking out
keep you from playing the game."Copy !req
955. All right. I'm going off
to get some more lipo.Copy !req
956. Come on, girls. Sam, I need you
to clean the pool tonight.Copy !req
957. No.Copy !req
958. Excuse me?Copy !req
959. You heard me. I quit.Copy !req
960. I quit this job. I quit your family.
And I'm moving out.Copy !req
961. Oh, and where are you gonna live?Copy !req
962. With me.Copy !req
963. You can't just walk out on me.Copy !req
964. You know what, Fiona?Copy !req
965. You can mess with your hair,
your nose and your face...Copy !req
966. and you can even mess
with my dad's diner.Copy !req
967. But you're through messing with me.Copy !req
968. Wait up, Sam.Copy !req
969. You take one more step,
and you're fired.Copy !req
970. Oh, no, that won't be necessary,
because I quit too. And you know what?Copy !req
971. The only reason why I put up with you
all these years is because of that girl.Copy !req
972. Now that she's free of you, nothing
is stopping me from kicking your butt.Copy !req
973. Come on, no. Not my face. It's much
newer than the girls. Go for the girls!Copy !req
974. Mom!
- Rhonda? Rhonda!Copy !req
975. She's not even worth it.Copy !req
976. - You're right.
- You know what? I quit too.Copy !req
977. Me too. Hey, Rhonda. Eleanor.
Hold up, I need a ride.Copy !req
978. See you.Copy !req
979. Well...Copy !req
980. See you.Copy !req
981. Send me a bill.Copy !req
982. Fiona actually thought
you were gonna slug her.Copy !req
983. I was gonna do more than that.Copy !req
984. I had no idea that you were that tough.Copy !req
985. Yeah, but I always knew that you were.Copy !req
986. Rhonda...Copy !req
987. are you sure that this is okay?Copy !req
988. Sam, I wouldn't have it any other way.Copy !req
989. I haven't felt this much at home
in such a long time.Copy !req
990. I'm sure, compared
to the Addams Family.Copy !req
991. - What's on your mind?
- I gotta do something tonight.Copy !req
992. Don't wait up for me, okay?Copy !req
993. Welcome to the game...Copy !req
994. between the South Bay Lancers
and the North Valley Fighting Frogs!Copy !req
995. Big welcome to all returning alumni to
tonight's 38th annual homecoming game!Copy !req
996. Check it!
Chick at 3 o'clock!Copy !req
997. Hey, diner girl!
What's she doing in here?Copy !req
998. What are you doing in here?Copy !req
999. Sam.Copy !req
1000. - Okay, I know you think I'm just some—
- Coward? Phony?Copy !req
1001. - Okay, just listen.
- No, you listen.Copy !req
1002. You turned out to be exactly
who I thought you were.Copy !req
1003. I never pretended to be somebody else.
It's been me all along.Copy !req
1004. And it was me who was hurt
in front of everybody.Copy !req
1005. Look, I didn't come here
to yell at you, okay?Copy !req
1006. I came to tell you I know what it feels
like to be afraid to show who you are.Copy !req
1007. I was. But I'm not anymore.Copy !req
1008. And the thing is, I don't care
what people think about me...Copy !req
1009. because I believe in myself.
And I know that things are gonna be okay.Copy !req
1010. But even though I have no family
and no job and no money for college...Copy !req
1011. it's you that I feel sorry for.Copy !req
1012. - Heads up. Yo, five minutes.
- I'm coming.Copy !req
1013. I know that guy that sent those e-mails
is somewhere down inside of you.Copy !req
1014. But I can't wait for him...Copy !req
1015. because waiting for you is like
waiting for rain in this drought.Copy !req
1016. Useless and disappointing.Copy !req
1017. Sam.Copy !req
1018. Sam.
Hey. What are you doing here?Copy !req
1019. Rhonda told me where you might be.Copy !req
1020. I thought you could use a friend.
Come here.Copy !req
1021. Sam, I'm so proud of you.
You did—Copy !req
1022. Your stepmom and Austin,
all in one day. How do you feel?Copy !req
1023. I'll let you know when I can catch
my breath. Let's do something tonight.Copy !req
1024. Well, I was actually thinking
about going to the game...Copy !req
1025. but I understand
if you don't wanna do that.Copy !req
1026. No, I'll go.Copy !req
1027. Really? You'll go to the game?Copy !req
1028. Yeah. I can handle it now.
It'll be our first and last.Copy !req
1029. And besides, if I don't go, who else
is gonna explain the game to you?Copy !req
1030. Yeah.Copy !req
1031. I like what you're wearing.
What character are you today?Copy !req
1032. Myself.
- I think it's your best look.Copy !req
1033. Thank you.Copy !req
1034. Come on, everybody.
Weren't they great? Let's hear it for them.Copy !req
1035. Let's give our cheerleaders a big hand.Copy !req
1036. - Make some noise.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1037. Austin and I are almost back together.
It isn't official or anything, but it's on.Copy !req
1038. Sorry, guys.
Sorry.Copy !req
1039. Okay, everybody.
Get ready. Here they come!Copy !req
1040. I'm glad you came, Sam.Copy !req
1041. The defending
regional champions, your Fighting Frogs!Copy !req
1042. Whoo!Copy !req
1043. Both the Lancers
and the Frogs enter the game...Copy !req
1044. tied for the lead
in the conference standings.Copy !req
1045. The winner of tonight's game
will advance to the playoffs...Copy !req
1046. for the state championship.Copy !req
1047. Austin.Copy !req
1048. Austin. All right, buddy.
This is the big one, all right?Copy !req
1049. You stay focused and win it.Copy !req
1050. - Everyone is counting on you. All right?
Andy!Copy !req
1051. Hey, Chuck! How you doing, pal?Copy !req
1052. Let's do it again! One more time.Copy !req
1053. Down, set, 28 guarding, 28 guarding!Copy !req
1054. Hike!Copy !req
1055. The clock is stopped
with nine seconds left in the game.Copy !req
1056. - The Frogs need one touchdown to win.
- I love football! I love football!Copy !req
1057. Whoo! I love football! Whoo!Copy !req
1058. Austin! Austin!
Austin! Austin! Austin!Copy !req
1059. Carter, I thought that I could handle this,
but I really can't. I'm gonna go.Copy !req
1060. You know what?
I'll tell you how it ends, okay?Copy !req
1061. Okay.Copy !req
1062. - Come on!
- Do it, baby!Copy !req
1063. This is the one. This is the one, Austin.
This is the one.Copy !req
1064. - Sorry, boys.
Where are you going?Copy !req
1065. What's he—? What is he—?Copy !req
1066. What's the problem?Copy !req
1067. - Whoa! What are you doing?
- I'm out of here.Copy !req
1068. What? You're throwing away your dream!Copy !req
1069. No, Dad. I'm throwing away yours.Copy !req
1070. It's your game now. Go get them.Copy !req
1071. Substituting
for Ames is number 23, Ryan Henson.Copy !req
1072. - Austin!
- Austin! Get back here!Copy !req
1073. Austin, what are you doing?Copy !req
1074. Something I should've done
a long time ago.Copy !req
1075. Sorry I waited for the rain.Copy !req
1076. It's okay.Copy !req
1077. No!Copy !req
1078. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1079. Touchdown!
The Fighting Frogs won. They've done it.Copy !req
1080. Oh, my... You gotta
love high school.Copy !req
1081. So we won the big game that day.Copy !req
1082. But what I remember most
was I got my prince.Copy !req
1083. And a really bad cold.Copy !req
1084. After that, it was like everything
fell into place.Copy !req
1085. My dad was right. The fairy tale book
did contain something important.Copy !req
1086. Take this one and take
the two cars in the front.Copy !req
1087. I can pay for those parking tickets!Copy !req
1088. Actually, I'm selling your cars, Fiona.Copy !req
1089. - For college tuition money.
- What?Copy !req
1090. What gives you the idea
you can sell our cars?Copy !req
1091. - She owns them.
- Exactly. I own them.Copy !req
1092. I'm the county district attorney.
Have you ever seen this before?Copy !req
1093. I've never seen that before.Copy !req
1094. Isn't this your signature
on the witness line?Copy !req
1095. I have never seen my husband's
hidden will before.Copy !req
1096. I'm afraid you're gonna have to come
downtown with me, ma'am.Copy !req
1097. That will stated that the house,
the diner and everything belonged to me.Copy !req
1098. It turned out my stepsisters knew where
Fiona had filed my real acceptance letter.Copy !req
1099. I got it!Copy !req
1100. My dad's diner was restored
to its former glory.Copy !req
1101. And my stepmother
made a deal with the DA.Copy !req
1102. She's working off her debt
to society at Hal's...Copy !req
1103. under the watchful eye
of my new partner.Copy !req
1104. And my stepsisters? They finally put
their teamwork to good use.Copy !req
1105. Austin's dad finally came around
and got off his Trojan horse.Copy !req
1106. Things even cleared up for Carter.Copy !req
1107. Anything is possible if you just believe.Copy !req
1108. He ended up filming a commercial.Copy !req
1109. And in addition to landing
that commercial...Copy !req
1110. Carter also landed the girl.Copy !req
1111. The San Fernando Valley
was clear and beautiful...Copy !req
1112. the way it only is after a big rainstorm.Copy !req
1113. As for Austin and me, well,
I finally got my cell phone back.Copy !req
1114. We wound up going to Princeton together
and lived happily ever after.Copy !req
1115. At least for now.
Hey, I'm only a freshman.Copy !req