1. XenzaiCopy !req
2. So tell me. How was Hawaii?Copy !req
3. - It was unbelievable.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
4. - Well, what happened?
- I met this guy.Copy !req
5. It was the best week of my life.Copy !req
6. It was just a little
vacation romance.Copy !req
7. But he was so sweet.Copy !req
8. He took me to all these
cool local places.Copy !req
9. We went scuba diving...Copy !req
10. - Snorkeling.
- Mountain climbing.Copy !req
11. We went cliff diving.Copy !req
12. Well, we got a little drunk.Copy !req
13. - He gave me...
- A back rub.Copy !req
14. We slow danced...Copy !req
15. in the rain.Copy !req
16. But it wasn't just about the sex.Copy !req
17. He pounded me like a mallard duck.Copy !req
18. It ended kind of weird, though.Copy !req
19. When I asked for his number,
he said he's...Copy !req
20. - Married.
- Gay.Copy !req
21. - Entering the priesthood.
- He doesn't believe in phones.Copy !req
22. He just kind of ran away.Copy !req
23. You know, it was just
a little fling, but...Copy !req
24. I won't forget my week...Copy !req
25. with Henry Roth.Copy !req
26. - Henry Roth.
- Harry.Copy !req
27. Harry Paratesticles.Copy !req
28. - Henry Roth.
- Henry Roth.Copy !req
29. - Henry Roth.
- Henry Roth.Copy !req
30. Henry Roth, why didn't you tell me
you were a secret agent?Copy !req
31. I prefer intelligence operative,
and I couldn't tell you until I knew you.Copy !req
32. Well, can I call you when I land?Copy !req
33. You can call me, but I'll be in Peru.
I said that a little loud.Copy !req
34. Come on, that's a 187, code blue.
We got the wolf sleeping at night.Copy !req
35. He's slipping his arm in the drawer
and out comes the cookie jar. All clear.Copy !req
36. Got it?Copy !req
37. Well, maybe when you
get back from Peru.Copy !req
38. - I don't think that's an option, Lisa.
- Linda.Copy !req
39. I know. I changed your name
for your protection.Copy !req
40. We have to go our separate ways now.Copy !req
41. Well, goodbye.Copy !req
42. Got it! Moving out!Copy !req
43. - What the hell is your problem?
- Just keep going, I'll give you $20.Copy !req
44. - You got it. How's your balls?
- Killing me. Hit it.Copy !req
45. Easy, Honah Lee.Copy !req
46. Hey, I'm a person, not a seal.Copy !req
47. Well, I am a vet, not a doctor. So just
hold still, or I won't give you a treat.Copy !req
48. I know, it's okay.
You see that, kids?Copy !req
49. You see what happens
when you play with sharks?Copy !req
50. Now, why you gotta spread those lies?
Sharks are like dogs.Copy !req
51. They only bite when you
touch their private parts.Copy !req
52. That's a good title
for my documentary.Copy !req
53. They Only Bite When
You Touch Their Private Parts.Copy !req
54. Or you could call it,
They Tried to Eat My Kidney.Copy !req
55. All right, enough already.
You too, Willie.Copy !req
56. All of you.Copy !req
57. He just cast a spell on us.Copy !req
58. All right. Put this on four times
a day for two weeks.Copy !req
59. - You can handle that.
- What's wrong with that turtle?Copy !req
60. Lung problems because
he smoked too much turtle weed...Copy !req
61. which is bad for you. Right, Ula?Copy !req
62. What? I don't smoke weed.Copy !req
63. Hey, Honah Lee? How's that hot
wahine nympho from Ohio?Copy !req
64. Great. I dropped her off
at the airport this morning.Copy !req
65. Come on, I need some details.Copy !req
66. You get some booby, some assy,
a pull on your poi-poi? Come on.Copy !req
67. Daddy, what's a nympho?Copy !req
68. Oh. The nympho
is the state bird of Ohio.Copy !req
69. You're the state idiot of Hawaii.Copy !req
70. Here you go. Bite the fish,
chew the fish, love the fish. Enjoy.Copy !req
71. - You crack me up, kamaaina.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
72. - One of these days...
- Yeah?Copy !req
73. you'll show one of those
tourists such a good time...Copy !req
74. she'll wanna stay on the island.Copy !req
75. Why do you say
mean things like that...Copy !req
76. and why is your foot
on my pillow?Copy !req
77. I don't want your ass on it, either.
Get up! Get up!Copy !req
78. It could happen.Copy !req
79. Then you won't be able to go
on your boat trip to Alaska.Copy !req
80. You'll be stuck here, waking up next to
the same old, ugly broad, just like Ula.Copy !req
81. - Just kidding, guys.
- About the old part or the ugly part?Copy !req
82. Henry, come quickly!
It's Jocko!Copy !req
83. Jocko! What's going on
with you, buddy?Copy !req
84. Don't be scared.
Everything's gonna be fine.Copy !req
85. Just stay calm. All right.Copy !req
86. Willie, I don't need you to see this.
Get out of here, now!Copy !req
87. Okay, check the temperature
of the pool. Go! Hurry!Copy !req
88. What are you doing?
I meant check the thermometer!Copy !req
89. Give me a hand. Let's go!Copy !req
90. Get me two fish
from the barrel. Now.Copy !req
91. - Okay.
- Just hang in there.Copy !req
92. - Here.
- It's gonna be all right.Copy !req
93. That's a little warm.
Go to the bottom of the barrel, please.Copy !req
94. Okay, there. That's good. Thank you.Copy !req
95. Come on, buddy, take it. Take it.Copy !req
96. - He's not responding!
- I know, Alexa!Copy !req
97. Sorry, I smacked you. You needed
the fish-slap to calm down.Copy !req
98. - Do you understand? Are you calm?
- Yes. Fish-slap calm me.Copy !req
99. I'm gonna try to get him
breathing manually...Copy !req
100. so I need your face next
to his mouth to see if it's working.Copy !req
101. - Are you ready?
- Yes.Copy !req
102. - One, two, three!
- Nothing, nothing!Copy !req
103. All right! Try it again. If it doesn't
work we'll perform a tracheotomy.Copy !req
104. We don't wanna do that, so let's
pray this works. One more time.Copy !req
105. One, two...Copy !req
106. That's a lot of vomit.Copy !req
107. This is why I got into
this business.Copy !req
108. To save sea animals.Copy !req
109. You should go
wash yourself off, okay?Copy !req
110. Maybe try some turpentine.
That might take the stink away.Copy !req
111. Yeah, high-five is right, buddy.Copy !req
112. I knew you were gonna burp,
but the vomit thing was awesome!Copy !req
113. That's what she gets for eating
my roast beef sandwich.Copy !req
114. Willie, did you see that?Copy !req
115. Captain's log:
November 5th, 6:45 a. M.Copy !req
116. I've taken the Sea Serpent for
a trip around the island of Oahu.Copy !req
117. It is by far the longest voyage
she has yet undertaken...Copy !req
118. and its completion will signal
that she's ready...Copy !req
119. for our great journey
to Bristol Bay...Copy !req
120. whose unspoiled walrus habitat
will yield an abundance of...Copy !req
121. Damn it!Copy !req
122. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
123. Aloha, honey.
What can I get for you?Copy !req
124. I guess I'll take a cup of coffee.Copy !req
125. - You guess?
- Yeah, I already ate breakfast.Copy !req
126. I need to kill some time before the
Coast Guard gets here to tow my boat.Copy !req
127. What did you eat?Copy !req
128. I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
and some Gatorade.Copy !req
129. They're not breakfast.
I get you Spam and eggs.Copy !req
130. Nick, I need Spam and eggs.Copy !req
131. Hey.Copy !req
132. - You like the peanut butter cups?
- Yes.Copy !req
133. Want me to put peanut butter cups
in your eggs?Copy !req
134. No, that's okay.Copy !req
135. Peanut butter cups.Copy !req
136. - Hey, Sue, nice haircut.
- Mahalo, Lucy.Copy !req
137. Are you staring at me or her?Copy !req
138. Because you're starting
to freak me out.Copy !req
139. Settle down and eat your pancakes.Copy !req
140. I think she's a local girl.
I wanted to go up to her...Copy !req
141. but I was kind of off my game.
But, man, was she cute, though.Copy !req
142. I thought you liked your bitches
from out of state.Copy !req
143. Yeah, that's usually my policy.
Make sure I don't get tied down.Copy !req
144. Freeze that image right there.Copy !req
145. There's the little fella.
Congratulations, Mommy.Copy !req
146. Sounds to me like someone
is afraid of commitment.Copy !req
147. Let me guess.Copy !req
148. Your high school sweetheart
got drunk at party...Copy !req
149. then cheated on you
with whole wrestling team.Copy !req
150. Close. Actually, it was my
college girlfriend Tracy.Copy !req
151. And it wasn't a wrestling team.
It was her academic advisor.Copy !req
152. - Oh, she liked the older man.
- Older women. About 50 years older.Copy !req
153. I hope you shot the stupid tramp.Copy !req
154. What's with the "tramp"
and the "bitches" talk?Copy !req
155. - Are you drunk or something?
- I apologize for nasty talk.Copy !req
156. I am grouchy due to lack
of recent physical intimacy.Copy !req
157. Shut up, because here comes
one-time-only opportunity.Copy !req
158. What I will do now is go into
your office and become naked.Copy !req
159. Next move is up to you.Copy !req
160. I may not be as limber
as I once was...Copy !req
161. but I make up for it with enthusiasm
and willingness to experiment.Copy !req
162. I don't know if you realize,
I'm not into guys.Copy !req
163. Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups.Copy !req
164. Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-in-One-Punch.
How you doing?Copy !req
165. - You're back.
- Couldn't get enough of that Spam.Copy !req
166. Fry some up and throw
some eggs on it.Copy !req
167. - You got it.
- All right, mahalo.Copy !req
168. - Hi, Lucy.
- Hi, Nick.Copy !req
169. You know, why don't you try this?Copy !req
170. It's kind of a hinge.Copy !req
171. - Now, why didn't I think of that?
- Well, you're too close to the project.Copy !req
172. Don't be hard on yourself.Copy !req
173. Right. Sometimes you need
an outsider's perspective.Copy !req
174. Fresh eye never hurts.Copy !req
175. I'm Lucy.Copy !req
176. Yes. I'm Henry Roth.Copy !req
177. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
178. It's pretty. Keep up the good work.Copy !req
179. Wait. I see you're sitting there alone.
Do you wanna come and sit down?Copy !req
180. - Sure, that'd be great, if that's all right.
- Okay.Copy !req
181. - So are you an architect?
- I am not. I'm in fish.Copy !req
182. Oh, that's where the smell
is coming from.Copy !req
183. Yeah, yeah, I was feeding
a walrus this morning...Copy !req
184. and I thought I got most of it
off of me, but guess I didn't.Copy !req
185. - I love that smell.
- No, you don't.Copy !req
186. - Fish don't even like that smell.
- No, I do. My dad's a fisherman.Copy !req
187. He and my brother Doug, they go
out to sea for months at a time.Copy !req
188. And I miss them so much while they're
gone that when they come back...Copy !req
189. I just hold on to them
for five minutes each.Copy !req
190. And they smell just like your hands.
It's the best smell in the world.Copy !req
191. Well, my fingers are available...Copy !req
192. for your sniffing pleasure
anytime you need them.Copy !req
193. - Wanna?
- Okay.Copy !req
194. Sea lions are known
for their athleticism...Copy !req
195. and dolphins are known
for their intelligence.Copy !req
196. - Walruses are known for their...
- Tusks?Copy !req
197. Their tusks. Also their male parts
can get pretty gigantic.Copy !req
198. Yeah, yeah, it's the second biggest
out of all the mammals.Copy !req
199. - What's the first?
- I think Tattoo-Face.Copy !req
200. I like your laugh.Copy !req
201. I like you making me laugh.Copy !req
202. I hate to break this up,
but we're setting up for lunch.Copy !req
203. Oh, okay. Sorry, Sue.Copy !req
204. And the real cool thing about walruses
is they're very mysterious.Copy !req
205. - Mysterious?
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
206. We don't really know what
they're like in the wild.Copy !req
207. Don't they just sleep on icebergs
and yawn all the time?Copy !req
208. All we really see is what they do
outside of the water...Copy !req
209. but who knows what
they do under the ice...Copy !req
210. where they spend
two-thirds of their lives.Copy !req
211. Well, maybe they're intimidating the
other creatures with their big winkies.Copy !req
212. That is one theory.Copy !req
213. - I have to go.
- Where you going?Copy !req
214. It's my dad's birthday, and we go
every year and we pick a pineapple.Copy !req
215. - It's a tradition.
- That sounds nice. Okay, well...Copy !req
216. I had a great time.Copy !req
217. - Me too.
- Okay.Copy !req
218. Would you like to have breakfast
again tomorrow morning, same time?Copy !req
219. - Because I teach an art class at 10.
- Really?Copy !req
220. - Yeah.
- I wish I could make it...Copy !req
221. but, yes, I will be there.Copy !req
222. - Take care.
- Okay.Copy !req
223. - One for the road. It is fishy.
- Got you good.Copy !req
224. - Aloha.
- Aloha!Copy !req
225. See you tomorrow.Copy !req
226. Oh, my God.Copy !req
227. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
228. Shit.Copy !req
229. I had a bee on me.Copy !req
230. - All right.
- He was a big one.Copy !req
231. Which means
"look at those two shitheads. "Copy !req
232. That was the stupidest-looking
swing I've ever seen.Copy !req
233. I'm gonna take a Molokai
on that one.Copy !req
234. No throwing. Come on.Copy !req
235. Stop laughing, you hyenas.
Let's see what you get.Copy !req
236. Okay, you heard me. Go! Go!Copy !req
237. Show papa what you got.Copy !req
238. - You suck, you're good at everything.
- Father of the Year strikes again.Copy !req
239. By the way, cuz, I met this sexy, blond
tax attorney at Starbucks today.Copy !req
240. I told her you the kahuna
she wanna have fun on this island.Copy !req
241. You want her number?Copy !req
242. You pimping tourists for me again?Copy !req
243. Yes! I live vicariously
through you, remember?Copy !req
244. My life sucks.Copy !req
245. Now, come on. Give her the Waikikiki
sneaky between the cheeky.Copy !req
246. Ula needs it. I imagine I did it and then
I can get through another weekend.Copy !req
247. I'm staying in. Sorry.
Thank you, though.Copy !req
248. - What?
- Hey, Dad!Copy !req
249. Not now, Keanu Mokokokakau.Copy !req
250. But your stitches are bleeding.Copy !req
251. It must've been my huge back-swing.Copy !req
252. You think you can stitch me up
after I get back from surfing?Copy !req
253. - Yeah, looking forward to it.
- I wouldn't surf with a wound like that.Copy !req
254. You might attract a shark.Copy !req
255. What's wrong with that?
Sharks are naturally peaceful.Copy !req
256. Is that right?
How'd you get that nasty cut, anyway?Copy !req
257. A shark bit me.Copy !req
258. Nice.Copy !req
259. Go smoke another one, bro.Copy !req
260. That shark theory's
starting to catch on.Copy !req
261. Now, will everybody keep it down...Copy !req
262. while I whack the crap
out of this thing?Copy !req
263. Sit! Stay! Shit! No!Copy !req
264. Where the hell is it?Copy !req
265. Looking for something?Copy !req
266. Oh, my God!
What are you doing here?Copy !req
267. The same thing you are.
Looking for my ball.Copy !req
268. This is weird. I've been thinking
about you all morning, all day.Copy !req
269. Can't wait to have breakfast
with you again.Copy !req
270. I know. And I just wanna eat you up.Copy !req
271. - Really?
- Yeah. Tomorrow and the next day...Copy !req
272. - ... and the next day and the next day.
- All right. Okay.Copy !req
273. Oh, my.Copy !req
274. Oh, Lucy, that feels so good.Copy !req
275. No, my nipples are too sensitive.
Stop that.Copy !req
276. - What happened?
- Your ball hooked into that cart...Copy !req
277. bounced back and hit you in
the head. It was freaking hilarious.Copy !req
278. - What?
- Who's Lucy?Copy !req
279. And what's up with your nipples?Copy !req
280. I can't be falling for a local.
I ain't ever going back to that diner.Copy !req
281. - This where you got hit?
- Yes!Copy !req
282. You're so lucky you're a professional
cliff diver in Hawaii.Copy !req
283. - Yeah, well, it's a living.
- I'm a tax attorney.Copy !req
284. - We never get to have any fun.
- Is that right?Copy !req
285. I'd like to do something
extra fun tonight.Copy !req
286. Taking it deep, aren't you?Copy !req
287. How about another
fishbowl for the lady?Copy !req
288. - Why don't I just tap a keg for her?
- Okay.Copy !req
289. I think I'm getting kind of drunk.Copy !req
290. - Are you getting drunk?
- Getting there.Copy !req
291. So, what are you thinking?Copy !req
292. What am I thinking?Copy !req
293. Actually, I'm not drunk at all,
Noreen, and neither are you...Copy !req
294. because there's no alcohol
in these drinks.Copy !req
295. Sadly, I've used this technique
many times.Copy !req
296. It helps lovely tourists,
such as yourself...Copy !req
297. loosen up without impairing
your ability to stay awake...Copy !req
298. and have guilt-free,
vigorous sex with me.Copy !req
299. - Wow.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
300. I'm not a cliff diver, either.
I'm afraid of heights.Copy !req
301. Well, since it's my last night in town...Copy !req
302. can I pretend you didn't just say that
and still have sex with you anyway?Copy !req
303. I can't do it. I'm sorry.Copy !req
304. Well, can you at least point me in
the direction of someone who can?Copy !req
305. That guy over there
could help you out.Copy !req
306. - Isn't that a woman?
- Jeez, I'm not really sure.Copy !req
307. But you're too drunk to notice,
remember? Take care.Copy !req
308. - Hey, you. Aloha.
- Aloha.Copy !req
309. Not aloha, "hello," aloha, "goodbye. "
We're closed today. Go away.Copy !req
310. - What are you talking about?
- Order up!Copy !req
311. - Don't move. I have to talk to you.
- Okay.Copy !req
312. - Hey! Tattoo-Face!
- Hey, Peanut Butter Cups!Copy !req
313. Hi.Copy !req
314. Hi.Copy !req
315. My fingers are extra fishy today,
if you care to take a whiff.Copy !req
316. What was that?Copy !req
317. I was petting my walrus all morning
and thinking of you the whole time.Copy !req
318. Okay, pervert.
I think that you should leave.Copy !req
319. What? I was joking because
of what we talked about yesterday.Copy !req
320. Yesterday?Copy !req
321. I've never even met you.Copy !req
322. - Nick! I need help!
- Coming, Lucy.Copy !req
323. Nick, put that down.
I'll handle it.Copy !req
324. - You, follow me.
- Wait a... What's going on?Copy !req
325. I was kidding around with you!Copy !req
326. What's happening here?
Is she crazy or something?Copy !req
327. Lucy is a very special person.
Very different from other people.Copy !req
328. Okay.Copy !req
329. About a year ago, Lucy was
in a terrible car accident.Copy !req
330. She and her father went up
North Shore to get a pineapple.Copy !req
331. Her father broke some ribs, but Lucy
suffered a serious head injury.Copy !req
332. She lost her short-term memory.Copy !req
333. So she can't remember anything?Copy !req
334. No, no, no, she has all of her
long-term memory.Copy !req
335. That's a different part
of the brain.Copy !req
336. Her whole life, up to the night before
the accident, she remembers.Copy !req
337. She just can't retain
any new information.Copy !req
338. It's like her slate gets wiped clean
every night while she sleeps.Copy !req
339. Hold on. This sounds like something
I would tell a psycho girl...Copy !req
340. so she'd stop calling me.
Am I the psycho girl?Copy !req
341. I wish I was making this up!Copy !req
342. She has no memory
that she ever met you.Copy !req
343. What about the
pineapple-picking thing?Copy !req
344. She says that every day,
because each morning...Copy !req
345. she wakes up thinking it's
October 13th of last year.Copy !req
346. She comes for breakfast because
that's what she did on Sundays...Copy !req
347. and October 13th
was a Sunday.Copy !req
348. She has no idea
it's more than a year later.Copy !req
349. She reads the newspaper.Copy !req
350. It's a special paper her father
puts on their porch.Copy !req
351. It's from the day of her accident.
He got hundreds of them printed.Copy !req
352. Lucy does the same thing every day.Copy !req
353. - Hello!
- Back here.Copy !req
354. - Hi, Dad!
- Oh, hi, sweetie.Copy !req
355. You got one without me.Copy !req
356. The lady at the farmers' market
gave it to me as a birthday present.Copy !req
357. I didn't wanna hurt her feelings.Copy !req
358. I think she likes you.Copy !req
359. - Yeah, what's not to like?
- What about our tradition?Copy !req
360. Well, I have another idea.
I painted my workshop yesterday.Copy !req
361. White.Copy !req
362. Now it's too white.
Gives me a headache.Copy !req
363. Oh, yeah, you definitely
need some color in here.Copy !req
364. Well, you know,
that's what I was thinking.Copy !req
365. - Really?
- Yeah. Go nuts.Copy !req
366. - Paint me something for my birthday.
- I will.Copy !req
367. And promise that we can pick
a pineapple for Thanksgiving, okay?Copy !req
368. - Sounds great.
- Okay, good.Copy !req
369. Hey, you should watch the Vikings
game while I'm painting.Copy !req
370. Good idea.Copy !req
371. - Yeah, baby. Isolate.
- What are we eating tonight, Doug?Copy !req
372. - Spaghetti, Pop.
- Try not to sweat in the sauce.Copy !req
373. Sorry, Pop.Copy !req
374. Go Vikings.Copy !req
375. Seven hundred and five.
Seven hundred and six.Copy !req
376. - Seven hundred and seven.
- Hey, you guys.Copy !req
377. Hey, sweetie.
How's the painting coming?Copy !req
378. - You'll see.
- Cool.Copy !req
379. - Oh. What's the score?
- The Vikings are on the two-yard line.Copy !req
380. - If they score, they bring it to 14-10.
- Maybe they'll win for your birthday.Copy !req
381. And I'll bet Culpepper runs it in.Copy !req
382. I'll bet he fakes a handoff to Williams,
throws to Kleinsasser in the end zone.Copy !req
383. - Loser does the dishes?
- You're on.Copy !req
384. keep the offense on the field.Copy !req
385. Culpepper fakes a handoff
to Williams. He will throw.Copy !req
386. He's got Kleinsasser in the end zone!
Touchdown, Minnesota.Copy !req
387. Doug, you're good.Copy !req
388. Maybe you should be a coach.Copy !req
389. - Dad.
- Moron!Copy !req
390. That hurt.Copy !req
391. And you don't look a day over 25.Copy !req
392. Yeah, right, and Doug's muscles
aren't pharmaceutically enhanced.Copy !req
393. What? I use an herb supplement...Copy !req
394. that can be purchased at any
health-food store. Check this out.Copy !req
395. Check out these glutes.
Rock-hard, baby.Copy !req
396. Pretty sweet, huh?Copy !req
397. Stop it! You're gonna make me
throw up on the cake.Copy !req
398. Okay, just open your present.Copy !req
399. Okay. Let's see what we've got here.Copy !req
400. The Sixth Sense.Copy !req
401. Hey! When I'm done doing the dishes,
do you guys wanna watch it?Copy !req
402. - Sure.
- Sure.Copy !req
403. Ben Friedkin?Copy !req
404. Some people, they call me freak.Copy !req
405. - Ronald Sumner?
- I am. I am a freak. Look at me.Copy !req
406. Just give me a chance...Copy !req
407. I can't believe it.
Bruce Willis is a ghost.Copy !req
408. I'm shocked.
Did you see that coming?Copy !req
409. - No.
- Not a clue.Copy !req
410. - Shocked as hell.
- Anyway, it was awesome.Copy !req
411. - Happy birthday.
- Love you, Sis.Copy !req
412. Your muscles are getting so big, I can
barely wrap my arms around you.Copy !req
413. You like that?
Check this out.Copy !req
414. Okay, okay! Enough with the titty
dance! Let your sister go to sleep.Copy !req
415. - I like it.
- Sweet dreams, Lucy.Copy !req
416. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
417. Hey, Tracy, how you doing?Copy !req
418. Yeah?Copy !req
419. Well, things changed a little bit
since high school.Copy !req
420. And this is what happens
every single day.Copy !req
421. How long it gonna take for
her memory to come back?Copy !req
422. Her doctors say it may
never come back.Copy !req
423. So, basically,
what you're saying is...Copy !req
424. - ... she's perfect for you.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
425. You can hang out all day with
no attachment, because...Copy !req
426. Her plane leaves every night?
There's a problem with that.Copy !req
427. - What is?
- It's evil.Copy !req
428. No, it isn't.Copy !req
429. You meet her, hang out, flirt,
no commitment, nobody gets hurt.Copy !req
430. - She's got brain damage, you psycho.
- Okay, I'll give you that one.Copy !req
431. But I think it'd be healthy for you.Copy !req
432. You haven't allowed yourself
to connect with a girl.Copy !req
433. I appreciate your interest,
but leave me alone.Copy !req
434. Hey, you'd be doing exactly
what her father does:Copy !req
435. Giving her a wonderful day.Copy !req
436. When it's time for you to go on your
big boat trip, poof, you just leave.Copy !req
437. She'll never even know you're gone.Copy !req
438. I'm not sure about the "poofing" part,
because I'm not a good poofer.Copy !req
439. Demonstrate a good poof for me?Copy !req
440. Quit busting my coconuts
for five seconds.Copy !req
441. All right. Would you stop poofing
on that joint and do some work?Copy !req
442. Okay. Let's get this sucker ready.Copy !req
443. Then we're gonna take her
out for a spin.Copy !req
444. Captain's log: November 7th.
Nearly midnight.Copy !req
445. The Sea Serpent is fully
recovered from her mishap...Copy !req
446. and ready to once again
brave the open ocean.Copy !req
447. I think my stitches
opened up again, cuz.Copy !req
448. You got a cat?
Because I feel something licking me.Copy !req
449. How is it?Copy !req
450. Peanut Butter Cups.
What are you doing here?Copy !req
451. I just wanted to say hi to Lucy.Copy !req
452. I promise you I'm not gonna
do anything wrong.Copy !req
453. What did Sue say?Copy !req
454. She said that if I talk to Lucy,
you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.Copy !req
455. She's the boss, cuz.
But don't worry.Copy !req
456. Lucy probably didn't wanna
talk to you anyway.Copy !req
457. - What does that mean?
- This ain't a disco.Copy !req
458. She doesn't want guys hitting on her
during her breakfast.Copy !req
459. She does if it's Henry Roth.Copy !req
460. - Who that?
- Who that? Me that.Copy !req
461. I bet you 20 bucks I can get her
to have breakfast with me again.Copy !req
462. - You're on.
- I love it.Copy !req
463. - How you doing, honey?
- Hey, Sue. Nice haircut.Copy !req
464. Oh, mahalo.
See you in a bit.Copy !req
465. Nick and I have an arrangement.
You can trust me.Copy !req
466. Don't worry.Copy !req
467. You should try this out.
Put it in there.Copy !req
468. Swivelly door.Copy !req
469. Waffleonians can
come in and out now.Copy !req
470. Are you from a country where it's
okay to stick your fingers...Copy !req
471. all over someone else's food?Copy !req
472. No, I'm from this country.Copy !req
473. Why? Were you gonna eat that? Oh.Copy !req
474. All right, well, have a good meal.Copy !req
475. - Yeah.
- That was pathetic.Copy !req
476. Yeah? Why don't you choke
on your Spam?Copy !req
477. Double or nothing tomorrow.Copy !req
478. Hey. I'm sorry to bother you...Copy !req
479. but you look like a person
who appreciates fine art...Copy !req
480. so I wanted your opinion.Copy !req
481. I drew this. It's a picture of a father
and son fishing off a fishing boat.Copy !req
482. There's a walrus right there...Copy !req
483. Oh, you don't speak English. Okay.Copy !req
484. Doesn't look Chinese.Copy !req
485. Forty.Copy !req
486. Can I have that?Copy !req
487. I need something
to wipe my ass with.Copy !req
488. Shut up.Copy !req
489. I wonder what's the matter with him.Copy !req
490. Looks like a stupid asshole to me.Copy !req
491. Excuse me. Okay.
I didn't mean to startle you.Copy !req
492. - No, that's all right. I...
- Are you okay?Copy !req
493. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm having
a problem with something...Copy !req
494. Something that I could help you with?Copy !req
495. No, no, no. I just...Copy !req
496. can't read.Copy !req
497. You gotta be kidding me.Copy !req
498. - I can read that for you.
- No. Thank you.Copy !req
499. I can do this on my own.Copy !req
500. Appreciate the sentiment.Copy !req
501. I'm gonna get an order of the...Copy !req
502. Pan...Copy !req
503. Pan...Copy !req
504. Panku...Copy !req
505. Ca...Copy !req
506. Panclocks.Copy !req
507. - Pancakes.
- Okay, I'll have pancake.Copy !req
508. - Pancakes.
- Pancah... Pancakes! Pancakes!Copy !req
509. - I'm so stupid!
- Oh, don't cry.Copy !req
510. - Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
- Don't cry.Copy !req
511. - I don't know anything!
- What a loser.Copy !req
512. I'll tell you what.
Why don't you sit with me?Copy !req
513. You can have some breakfast and
I'll help teach you some of the words.Copy !req
514. - Okay.
- All right.Copy !req
515. - That sounds nice.
- Come on over.Copy !req
516. - Okay, thank you.
- All right.Copy !req
517. So I comes before the E?Copy !req
518. - Except after C?
- Yes.Copy !req
519. Okay, and C is that little
half a squiggly one, right?Copy !req
520. - Yes.
- I think I'm getting it.Copy !req
521. - How'd you get so good at teaching?
- I'm a teacher. I do it all the time.Copy !req
522. I'm an art teacher at
the Haluki-liki Junior High.Copy !req
523. Well, you Haluki-liki the kind of
teacher all the kids have crushes on.Copy !req
524. I know I would if I was in your class.Copy !req
525. Okay.Copy !req
526. Oh, boy, do my...
My fingers smell like fish.Copy !req
527. That doesn't gross you out, does it?Copy !req
528. No, not at all.Copy !req
529. Really?Copy !req
530. If Lucy gets hurt, I'm gonna chop you
with the meat cleaver.Copy !req
531. Okay, okay.Copy !req
532. So I had a nice time.Copy !req
533. - Yeah, me too.
- Thank you very much.Copy !req
534. - Let me get it for you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
535. Sure.Copy !req
536. Okay.Copy !req
537. I just want to eat you up, tomorrow
and the next day, next day, next day...Copy !req
538. I'll see you around.Copy !req
539. Okay.Copy !req
540. Really? That's it?Copy !req
541. - That's what?
- All that flirting...Copy !req
542. and phony "I can't read" stuff,
and you're not gonna ask me out...Copy !req
543. or for my phone number?Copy !req
544. - I can't read.
- Oh, shut up.Copy !req
545. That was one of the goofiest things
I've ever seen, but I thought:Copy !req
546. "Hey, if this guy is so desperate
to meet me...Copy !req
547. he might be worth talking to. "Copy !req
548. But then I get stiffed.Copy !req
549. No, no, no,
this is what happened. I...Copy !req
550. Mahalo for the ego boost.Copy !req
551. - You're right. You're right. I feel like...
- No worries.Copy !req
552. I gotta...
I can read a little!Copy !req
553. I didn't know I came before E!
That one I didn't know, I swear.Copy !req
554. Oh, you idiot.Copy !req
555. I hope you're happy, Shamu.Copy !req
556. Marlin. It's Sue.Copy !req
557. - Oh, aloha, sir. My name's Henry...
- I know who you are.Copy !req
558. - I want to apologize to your daughter.
- Not gonna happen.Copy !req
559. She's inside.
We're gonna straighten things out.Copy !req
560. Dad, the damn mongoose
got in the garbage again!Copy !req
561. - Is this the guy?
- Yeah.Copy !req
562. Mr. Roth, I have one simple request:Copy !req
563. Stay away from my daughter.Copy !req
564. Absolutely. I hurt her feelings
and don't want it to end like that.Copy !req
565. It's gonna end like this.Copy !req
566. Calm down, little fellow.Copy !req
567. I'm gonna kill you! You're a dead man.
Okay, I'm calm.Copy !req
568. I'm calm.Copy !req
569. - Let me help you up.
- I got it! I got it.Copy !req
570. It's just Dad and I work too hard
to protect Lucy to let some idiot ruin it.Copy !req
571. I know what you guys do
and I totally respect that.Copy !req
572. If you know her condition, you know
she can't have a normal relationship.Copy !req
573. The next morning,
she won't know who he is.Copy !req
574. And any guy who's okay with that...Copy !req
575. ain't okay with me.Copy !req
576. - I'm not looking for a one-night stand.
- Anything with Lucy is, numb-nuts.Copy !req
577. Give us a break.
Just stay away from the Hukilau Cafe.Copy !req
578. My daughter's been through enough.Copy !req
579. Okay. I'm sorry.Copy !req
580. I could have whooped his ass,
but this gravel, I slipped on it...Copy !req
581. Yeah, well, maybe you need to do
a few more butt flexes.Copy !req
582. Cheap shot, Dad.Copy !req
583. So fresh and so clean.Copy !req
584. Hey, Alexa, did you hook up
with that girl from the bar?Copy !req
585. - I chickened out.
- Really?Copy !req
586. Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I prefer sausage to taco.Copy !req
587. - What?
- Yeah. No, I agree, buddy.Copy !req
588. Get out of here.
Run for the hills.Copy !req
589. Let me ask you something, Alexa.Copy !req
590. If you promised a girl's dad
that you wouldn't see her...Copy !req
591. would you consider that
a binding promise?Copy !req
592. - Absolutely.
- Yeah?Copy !req
593. Then again, there are always ways
around such things.Copy !req
594. - Like?
- For example...Copy !req
595. if I promised a woman's father
I would not see her...Copy !req
596. I would simply shut my eyes
while she serviced my manhood.Copy !req
597. That's actually a cool way to look at it.Copy !req
598. And a very gross way.Copy !req
599. He asked me not to go to the Hukilau.
I'm not going there.Copy !req
600. I'm not doing anything wrong.Copy !req
601. Sorry to bother you.
I'm kind of stuck here.Copy !req
602. - Car trouble?
- Yeah. You mind giving me a jump?Copy !req
603. Okay.Copy !req
604. Appreciate your time.Copy !req
605. Not everybody would have stopped.Copy !req
606. - You're real sweet.
- Oh, yeah. Thank you.Copy !req
607. I can't believe you fell for that.Copy !req
608. Well, my grandfather died
trying to jump-start a car.Copy !req
609. I'm sorry.
I was just joking around.Copy !req
610. I can't believe you fell for that!Copy !req
611. Oh, my God.Copy !req
612. That was very good.Copy !req
613. - My name's Henry.
- I'm Lucy.Copy !req
614. Nice to meet you.
You look like a nice...Copy !req
615. Hi. Sorry for the delay.
Should be a few minutes.Copy !req
616. - No problem. No worries.
- Where you coming from?Copy !req
617. Breakfast?Copy !req
618. - Yeah.
- How was it?Copy !req
619. I had waffles. They were delicious.Copy !req
620. I like making little houses
out of waffles.Copy !req
621. - You do?
- That's my thing.Copy !req
622. - What's your name?
- Lucy.Copy !req
623. Hi, I'm Henry.Copy !req
624. Okay, pal. When she stops,
just let her pet you. Look cute.Copy !req
625. Go to the middle of the road.
Thank you. Right there. Perfect.Copy !req
626. - Oh, shit.
- Here she comes. Smile.Copy !req
627. Where is she?Copy !req
628. Oh, my God. Oh, no!Copy !req
629. Okay. That didn't work.Copy !req
630. Shit your pants? So did I.Copy !req
631. Okay, this is her.
Start beating me up.Copy !req
632. Make it look good.Copy !req
633. Give me your wallet!Copy !req
634. Okay, haole, what do you think?
You can come to this island...Copy !req
635. - ... eat our pineapple...
- Help me! Not so hard.Copy !req
636. - Take it easy.
- Try to bang our women.Copy !req
637. Making my sister
clean your hotel room.Copy !req
638. Okay. What's that have to do
with this? Relax.Copy !req
639. - Hey! Hey! Help me, please!
- Stupid haole!Copy !req
640. Yeah, that's right. Take that!
And that! And that!Copy !req
641. And that! And that!Copy !req
642. You got him. You got him.
Enough. Enough.Copy !req
643. - Are you okay?
- Yes, yes...Copy !req
644. Okay, I'll be back.
Come here!Copy !req
645. No, no! I think he's had enough.Copy !req
646. I'm sorry.Copy !req
647. My eye!Copy !req
648. - You got him!
- Not good enough!Copy !req
649. Oh, Kamehameha!Copy !req
650. He learned his lesson!Copy !req
651. - What's your name?
- My name's Henry.Copy !req
652. - You did good.
- Hi. Sorry.Copy !req
653. I'm in a community-watch program...Copy !req
654. Oh, you crazy bitch!Copy !req
655. Yeah, keep running!Copy !req
656. Okay, okay, he's... He's gone now.Copy !req
657. Not her. False alarm.Copy !req
658. Don't worry, I called the cops already.
I'm all set.Copy !req
659. Yeah? You all set for this, Mr. Smarty?Copy !req
660. - Oh, shit.
- Yeah.Copy !req
661. When you're finished playing your
kidnap-victim crap on my daughter...Copy !req
662. come by the house.Copy !req
663. Okay.Copy !req
664. Oh, boy.Copy !req
665. There's something I wanna show you.Copy !req
666. We figured it out. She only sings
on days she meets you.Copy !req
667. You're kidding me. That song?Copy !req
668. That's Mom and Dad's song.Copy !req
669. When her mom was alive,
Lucy would have me take that tape...Copy !req
670. - ... on every fishing trip I went on.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
671. Yeah, she knew it would make me
miss her mom...Copy !req
672. and want to come home sooner.Copy !req
673. I'm seeing a new side to you, sir.
I gotta tell you, it's grossing me out.Copy !req
674. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
675. What's in it for you?
What do you get out of this?Copy !req
676. I don't know.Copy !req
677. Wouldn't you want to spend
an hour a day with that?Copy !req
678. Actually, no. She sings like shit.Copy !req
679. - What?
- Can I ask you guys something?Copy !req
680. What'll happen down the line?
Someday she'll wake up...Copy !req
681. look in the mirror and notice
she aged 10 years overnight.Copy !req
682. You know something, Henry?Copy !req
683. I worry about that
every damn day of my life.Copy !req
684. Pardon me.Copy !req
685. Sorry to interrupt, but I noticed we
were both eating alone...Copy !req
686. and I thought I could sit with you,
maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi...Copy !req
687. - ... for your waffle house?
- Oh, that would be nice...Copy !req
688. but I have a boyfriend.Copy !req
689. So I'm sorry.Copy !req
690. You're making up a boyfriend
to get rid of me?Copy !req
691. No, I'm not.Copy !req
692. What's his name, then?Copy !req
693. Ringo.Copy !req
694. Is his last name Starr?Copy !req
695. - No. McCartney.
- McCartney, okay.Copy !req
696. - Oh, no.
- All right. I'm sorry.Copy !req
697. No! This cop is writing me a ticket!Copy !req
698. Oh, whoa, whoa.
I wouldn't go out there.Copy !req
699. - Wait, wait, wait!
- Go on!Copy !req
700. I'm coming.Copy !req
701. The tags don't expire
for seven months.Copy !req
702. - They expired May of this year.
- No! No, no!Copy !req
703. They expire May of next year.Copy !req
704. I think there's been
a misunderstanding.Copy !req
705. - I don't.
- This is ridiculous.Copy !req
706. I'm not paying for this!
It's October!Copy !req
707. Excuse me. Can I borrow this?
Look, October!Copy !req
708. Lucy, let's go back inside.Copy !req
709. What?Copy !req
710. What?Copy !req
711. Having a bad day, Doug!Copy !req
712. Sweetheart...Copy !req
713. these are from the accident.Copy !req
714. Oh, no!Copy !req
715. I can feel it.Copy !req
716. You were in the hospital
for three months, sweetheart.Copy !req
717. I have to talk to this doctor.
I need to hear it from him.Copy !req
718. You have heard it, sweetie.
Many times.Copy !req
719. I have?Copy !req
720. I'll take her.Copy !req
721. I have to hear for myself too.Copy !req
722. Doug, just take this, okay?
I can't...Copy !req
723. I can't look at it anymore.Copy !req
724. - It's gonna be all right, Luce.
- Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.Copy !req
725. Sweetie, you're sort of dating him.Copy !req
726. Sorry I'm not better-looking.Copy !req
727. What else happened
since last October?Copy !req
728. - What about my students?
- Miss Campbell took over your class.Copy !req
729. - Did Alicia marry that guy?
- Yeah.Copy !req
730. Doug, did you win
the Mr. Hawaii contest?Copy !req
731. I didn't know there was gonna be
a urine test.Copy !req
732. Wow.Copy !req
733. Do we have sex?Copy !req
734. No, we don't.
Just so everybody knows that.Copy !req
735. We want to.Copy !req
736. Just kidding.Copy !req
737. So you guys have to just lie
to me every day.Copy !req
738. Hey, Lucy.
Good to see you again.Copy !req
739. What the hell's her problem?Copy !req
740. She doesn't remember
who you are, brah.Copy !req
741. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
742. I suck at this job.Copy !req
743. Lucy, these are your
brain scans here.Copy !req
744. I'm afraid they show
no improvement.Copy !req
745. The temporal lobe
was severely damaged.Copy !req
746. What we believe is scar tissue
here is impairing your ability...Copy !req
747. to convert short-term memory into
long-term memory while you sleep.Copy !req
748. The condition's come to be known
as Goldfield Syndrome.Copy !req
749. - Who's Goldfield?
- A brilliant Lithuanian psychiatrist.Copy !req
750. He himself suffered
temporal-lobe damage.Copy !req
751. Took him four years
to publish his findings...Copy !req
752. because he had to keep
starting over from scratch.Copy !req
753. Obviously, your sense of humor
is still intact, and that's here.Copy !req
754. Magnificent amygdala as well.Copy !req
755. - Doctor, I have a question.
- I'd be happy to answer it...Copy !req
756. but as I've told you before, this is a
hygienic facility. Shirts are required.Copy !req
757. - Oh, okay.
- Nice move.Copy !req
758. Listen, doctor, this...Copy !req
759. friend of mine's been experimenting
a little with steroids.Copy !req
760. He's been having a lot
of wet dreams.Copy !req
761. Could there be a connection
between them?Copy !req
762. Douglas, get off the juice.Copy !req
763. As for the nocturnal emissions,
why don't you take a swim...Copy !req
764. buy a shirt with no holes,
find a wahine and take her to dinner.Copy !req
765. I'll tell my friend you said so.Copy !req
766. In any case, Lucy,
your condition is stable...Copy !req
767. but most likely permanent.Copy !req
768. I'm so sorry, dear.Copy !req
769. But it could be worse.Copy !req
770. Yeah? How?Copy !req
771. I think you should meet
Ten Second Tom.Copy !req
772. Callahan Institute is the leading
brain-injury clinic in the Pacific Rim.Copy !req
773. We are funded out of Sandusky, Ohio
by T.B. Callahan...Copy !req
774. the automotive-components tycoon
and philanthropist.Copy !req
775. And now, I would like
to introduce to you...Copy !req
776. our most distinguished
clinical subject...Copy !req
777. Tom.Copy !req
778. - Hi. I'm Tom.
- Henry.Copy !req
779. - Marlin.
- Doug.Copy !req
780. - Lucy.
- Hi.Copy !req
781. Cool flip-flops.
Where'd you get them?Copy !req
782. You like those? It's interesting.
I was on the North Shore...Copy !req
783. Hi, I'm Tom.Copy !req
784. - Henry.
- Hi.Copy !req
785. - Marlin.
- Tom lost part of his brain...Copy !req
786. in a hunting accident.
His memory lasts 10 seconds.Copy !req
787. I was in an accident? That's terrible.Copy !req
788. Don't worry.
You'll get over it in seconds.Copy !req
789. Get over it? I mean, what happened?
Did I get shot in the brain...?Copy !req
790. - Hi, I'm Tom.
- Hi, I'm Lucy.Copy !req
791. - Hi.
- Doug.Copy !req
792. - Hey.
- Marlin.Copy !req
793. Hey, Tom, can I tell you a secret?Copy !req
794. Don't you think you're a little old
to still have wet dreams?Copy !req
795. - They liked that.
- Hi, I'm Tom.Copy !req
796. - Yeah, watch yourself, Tom.
- Easy.Copy !req
797. - I'm gonna go to sleep.
- All right. Good night.Copy !req
798. Good night, you guys.
I'll see you tomorrow.Copy !req
799. - And I guess I'll see you too?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
800. You had a rough day today.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
801. I hope you get some rest tonight.Copy !req
802. Okay.Copy !req
803. Good night.Copy !req
804. So how you getting home?Copy !req
805. - You gonna take the Likelike or...
- Hey.Copy !req
806. Thank you for being
so nice to me today.Copy !req
807. - Sure.
- I don't want you to...Copy !req
808. strike out tomorrow.Copy !req
809. So maybe you could talk
to me about...Copy !req
810. lilies.Copy !req
811. Lilies?Copy !req
812. I'm a sucker for lilies.Copy !req
813. Thanks for the tip.Copy !req
814. Good night.Copy !req
815. My, oh, my.Copy !req
816. - Lover-boy.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
817. You don't have to rush off.
Stick around.Copy !req
818. You've earned yourself
a couple beers.Copy !req
819. So what'll you do when
you finish the boat?Copy !req
820. Actually, I'm going on a trip soon...Copy !req
821. to study undersea
Pacific walrus behaviors.Copy !req
822. Sounds kind of fruity.Copy !req
823. - Thank you.
- How long is it gonna take?Copy !req
824. About a year.Copy !req
825. Guess you won't miss days like this.Copy !req
826. Well, maybe days like this
don't have to be so bad.Copy !req
827. What are you trying to say?Copy !req
828. When you guys tell her...Copy !req
829. she's not just finding out
about the accident.Copy !req
830. She's finding out that her life
is basically a setup.Copy !req
831. I think that freaks her out the most.Copy !req
832. - You're an expert now?
- No.Copy !req
833. I'm saying I wish there was
another way besides:Copy !req
834. "Sorry we couldn't trick you today.
Here's pictures of your broken head. "Copy !req
835. - You want a broken head?
- You'll give him one?Copy !req
836. No, Daddy, I thought
you was gonna do it.Copy !req
837. Nobody's gotta break my head.
I'm gonna split anyways.Copy !req
838. Oh, don't go just because
my son is psychotic.Copy !req
839. Good night. Sweet dreams.
Keep them dry there, Doug.Copy !req
840. Very funny.Copy !req
841. - Excuse me. Lucy Whitmore?
- Yes?Copy !req
842. I have a delivery for you.Copy !req
843. - A delivery for me?
- Yes.Copy !req
844. Oh, they're beautiful.Copy !req
845. - Who are they from?
- That I can't tell you.Copy !req
846. It's a secret admirer.
He also wants you to have this.Copy !req
847. - Who's your friend, Lucy?
- Oh, well, I mean, I don't know.Copy !req
848. We just met, but look.Copy !req
849. I have a secret admirer.Copy !req
850. Oh, really? What's this?Copy !req
851. It's a videotape.Copy !req
852. A videotape of what?Copy !req
853. I have no idea.Copy !req
854. But I have to find out.Copy !req
855. Happy birthday, Daddy.Copy !req
856. - Thank you, sweetie.
- That's right. Happy birthday, sir.Copy !req
857. - What are you, 200 today?
- That's cute.Copy !req
858. - What are you doing?
- I wanted to try something different.Copy !req
859. If it doesn't work,
we've only wasted one day.Copy !req
860. Martha Stewart faced charges...Copy !req
861. Oh, God!Copy !req
862. Okay, I think it's on. Go. Go.Copy !req
863. Aloha! I'm Henry Roth.Copy !req
864. We met here at the Hukilau Cafe
about a year after your accident.Copy !req
865. I like you and you like me, most days.Copy !req
866. Every day is different, but basically
this is what happens, Lucy.Copy !req
867. Kikikoloko, take the camera.Copy !req
868. - I got it.
- Don't drop it.Copy !req
869. Okay, all right.
Here we are, right here.Copy !req
870. The part of you in this reenactment...Copy !req
871. will be played
by my good friend, Ula.Copy !req
872. Aloha. Sorry about your brain.Copy !req
873. I had a accident too.Copy !req
874. Believe it or not, this my good eye.Copy !req
875. - We ready?
- Yeah.Copy !req
876. Hi. I like that waffle teepee
that you have built.Copy !req
877. Oh! So nice of you to notice.
Please, sit down.Copy !req
878. I would love to.Copy !req
879. My name is Henry, by the way.Copy !req
880. My name is Lucy.Copy !req
881. Smell my fingers?Copy !req
882. Fish. Right on.Copy !req
883. So, Lucy, I work at an aquarium.Copy !req
884. Aquariums make me super horny.Copy !req
885. That's not funny.
Don't rub those.Copy !req
886. Sorry, Mr. Whitmore,
if you're watching.Copy !req
887. It's very late,
and my friend's unstable.Copy !req
888. Come on, stop with the licking!
You're making me sick.Copy !req
889. Lucy, I'm sorry.Copy !req
890. Anyways, I know you wish I was
making all this stuff up.Copy !req
891. I wish I was too.Copy !req
892. But the good news is...Copy !req
893. so many people out there
care about you:Copy !req
894. Your dad and Doug and a couple
of your friends here at the Hukilau...Copy !req
895. who have a message for you.Copy !req
896. Lucy, as you know,
your mother and I were best friends.Copy !req
897. That's why I promised her that
I would always help look after you.Copy !req
898. Sometimes life isn't very fair...Copy !req
899. but we still have you.Copy !req
900. Oh, and if you're wondering about
this guy who's making this tape...Copy !req
901. he's okay.Copy !req
902. Hey, Lucy. Just so you know,
since you lost your memory...Copy !req
903. I became governor of Hawaii.Copy !req
904. No, just kidding. I'm too smart.Copy !req
905. Kualaliku! Get your brother
off the dishwasher!Copy !req
906. So whenever you're ready,
we'd all love to talk to you...Copy !req
907. and answer any questions
you have...Copy !req
908. and you're the best, Lucy. Aloha.Copy !req
909. How many times
have I watched this?Copy !req
910. This is the first time.Copy !req
911. Okay, she cried for about an hour.
That's not too bad.Copy !req
912. I bet in another hour she'll be ready
to see her friends, have lunch...Copy !req
913. get her life back.Copy !req
914. We could do this every day.Copy !req
915. We'll leave it up to her.Copy !req
916. All right.Copy !req
917. So how's the cow?Copy !req
918. Same as you. Every day they
have to convince her she's a cow.Copy !req
919. Wow, look. The bark is healing.Copy !req
920. You're gonna get there.Copy !req
921. I never hung out with you
in the afternoon like this.Copy !req
922. In this lighting, man, oh, man,
you look...Copy !req
923. disgusting.Copy !req
924. Yeah.Copy !req
925. I don't know how you get me to fall for
that egg-shaped head every morning.Copy !req
926. All I have to do is slide on
my designer jeans...Copy !req
927. and just kind of wiggle
in front of you. You go nuts.Copy !req
928. Why couldn't I have met you one day
before the accident?Copy !req
929. Don't worry, because if you hung out
with me for more than one day...Copy !req
930. you'd realize I'm a bore.Copy !req
931. - Oh, well, I have news for you.
- Yes?Copy !req
932. It takes less than one day.Copy !req
933. You know something?
That hurt.Copy !req
934. Your damaged temporal lobe
is causing me pain...Copy !req
935. and I'm gonna get you for that.Copy !req
936. Now you're dead!Copy !req
937. - I can't believe you're pregnant.
- I know.Copy !req
938. - And I got her on the first try.
- Yeah. Easy.Copy !req
939. And, Tammy, you are so thin.Copy !req
940. Thanks, Luce.Copy !req
941. And I'm so glad you finally got...Copy !req
942. that gender-reassignment surgery,
Jennifer. I mean, Jonathan.Copy !req
943. Mahalo.Copy !req
944. - Here you go, Lucy.
- Thank you.Copy !req
945. - You're welcome.
- You must be Lucy's friend.Copy !req
946. - The one who made the tape.
- I think he's more than my friend.Copy !req
947. - You're my boyfriend, right?
- Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
948. So every day you help her
to realize what happened...Copy !req
949. and you wait patiently for her
to be okay with it...Copy !req
950. then get her to fall in love
with you again?Copy !req
951. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
952. You asshole!Copy !req
953. You don't even open the fricking car
door for me anymore.Copy !req
954. You're in trouble.Copy !req
955. I gotta go tinkle.Copy !req
956. Okay, so tell me a little bit more
about yourself.Copy !req
957. Okay. Well, I've...Copy !req
958. won over seven all-you-can-eat
chicken-wing contests.Copy !req
959. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
960. And I'm a ballet dancer,
but only in my bathroom.Copy !req
961. No, what do you want to know?Copy !req
962. Do you love me?Copy !req
963. I didn't mean to put you on the spot.Copy !req
964. I was just asking more for
informational purposes.Copy !req
965. It's to keep the video as up-to-date
as possible.Copy !req
966. Sure.Copy !req
967. Well, love is a very loaded word.Copy !req
968. Let's see. I...Copy !req
969. I go to this restaurant every morning,
and I see you there, reading.Copy !req
970. And...Copy !req
971. I love you very much.Copy !req
972. Probably more than anybody could
love another person.Copy !req
973. And how do I feel about you?Copy !req
974. You're excited about
the chicken-wing thing.Copy !req
975. And...Copy !req
976. you've been dying to make out
with me for some time now.Copy !req
977. Feeling better now?Copy !req
978. Nothing beats a first kiss.Copy !req
979. There's nothing like a first kiss.Copy !req
980. Nothing beats a first kiss.Copy !req
981. That's what I've heard.Copy !req
982. Nothing beats a first...Copy !req
983. What are you doing?Copy !req
984. Nothing. I was just getting
some lint off for you.Copy !req
985. You were going for a feelski!Copy !req
986. All right, I'm sorry, but this is like the
23rd time we've made out already...Copy !req
987. and they're getting blue.Copy !req
988. I know. I know.Copy !req
989. I mean, I really don't know.Copy !req
990. For me, it still feels like the first time.Copy !req
991. Okay, let's average it out then.Copy !req
992. It's the 23rd time for me
and the first time for you.Copy !req
993. - That's about our 12th time.
- Yeah?Copy !req
994. Now, Hawaiian law clearly states
after the 12th date...Copy !req
995. I'm entitled to unlimited
boob access.Copy !req
996. Why didn't I meet you one day
before the accident?Copy !req
997. You say that all the time.Copy !req
998. You want to meet a friend of mine?Copy !req
999. All right.Copy !req
1000. Jocko, this is Lucy.
Lucy, this is Jocko.Copy !req
1001. Wow! Thank you. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
1002. He is awesome! He is so smart.Copy !req
1003. Check this out. Jocko, what does
the teapot do when the water's ready?Copy !req
1004. - Very good.
- Can I ask him a question?Copy !req
1005. Go ahead.Copy !req
1006. Jocko...Copy !req
1007. do you think that Henry and I
are ready to take our relationship...Copy !req
1008. to the next level?Copy !req
1009. You sure about that?Copy !req
1010. Do you think I should bring him
into the other room...Copy !req
1011. and take advantage of him?Copy !req
1012. I saw that hand gesture.Copy !req
1013. - And I'm glad you did it.
- Really?Copy !req
1014. - Use that.
- Oh, wow. Look!Copy !req
1015. - Yeah.
- They're...Copy !req
1016. They're nodding in approval, I hope.Copy !req
1017. They like you. Let me get them
out of there.Copy !req
1018. Mary-Kate, Ashley, get a life.
Thank you. Sorry.Copy !req
1019. - Oh, they're very nice, though.
- Yeah, so are you.Copy !req
1020. Let me get you down slow.Copy !req
1021. - Thank you.
- My pleasure.Copy !req
1022. All right, I just wrote this,
so go easy on me.Copy !req
1023. The Hukilau was the placeCopy !req
1024. Where I first saw your faceCopy !req
1025. We liked each other right awayCopy !req
1026. But you didn't remember me
The very next dayCopy !req
1027. Forgetful LucyCopy !req
1028. Has got a nice caboose-yCopy !req
1029. I used to trick you into pulling
Your car over so we could chatCopy !req
1030. But my favorite time was when you
Beat the shit out of Ula with a batCopy !req
1031. And we drove up to see Dr. KeatsCopy !req
1032. And found out why Doug always
Has to change his sheetsCopy !req
1033. Forgetful LucyCopy !req
1034. Cracked her head like Gary BuseyCopy !req
1035. But I still love her soCopy !req
1036. And I'll never let her goCopy !req
1037. Even if while I'm singing this songCopy !req
1038. She's wishing I had
Jocko the Walrus' schlongCopy !req
1039. Forgetful LucyCopy !req
1040. Her lips are so damn juicyCopy !req
1041. How about another first kissCopy !req
1042. Can't fall asleep.Copy !req
1043. I'm not sleeping.Copy !req
1044. I'm just closing my eyes.Copy !req
1045. Well, I'm gonna go downstairs then.Copy !req
1046. No, no. I'm just resting.Copy !req
1047. Lucy.Copy !req
1048. Yeah.Copy !req
1049. Will you marry me?Copy !req
1050. - Of course.
- Good.Copy !req
1051. Don't forget about me.Copy !req
1052. Never.Copy !req
1053. Good morning.Copy !req
1054. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1055. - Help! Help!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lucy.Copy !req
1056. Lucy! Lucy! Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
1057. I know this is hard for you
to understand...Copy !req
1058. but we are actually
seeing each other.Copy !req
1059. We have been for a while now.Copy !req
1060. Oh! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!Copy !req
1061. If I was lying,
how would I know this?Copy !req
1062. You're an art teacher and you go
to the Hukilau every Sunday...Copy !req
1063. and you make waffle houses
and you like Casablanca lilies.Copy !req
1064. - Stalker!
- No, don't you remember me a little?Copy !req
1065. I may not be able to kick your ass,
but my sister can.Copy !req
1066. Thanks, buddy.Copy !req
1067. Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up,
but she'll be okay.Copy !req
1068. She's watching the tape as we speak.Copy !req
1069. How's my temporal lobe
looking there, doc?Copy !req
1070. Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer
any short-term memory loss.Copy !req
1071. But was your head shaped like an egg
before she hit you?Copy !req
1072. Don't make fun of Henry.
It's not his fault it's shaped like that.Copy !req
1073. Note the intense overreaction.
That's the "roids" talking.Copy !req
1074. - Doug, once again, off the juice.
- It's not juice.Copy !req
1075. It's a protein shake.Copy !req
1076. Henry, the boys tell me you're setting
sail for Alaska to study walruses.Copy !req
1077. - When does that adventure begin?
- That actually began...Copy !req
1078. ten years ago. That's when I started
planning and building my boat.Copy !req
1079. All I know is, out of all mammals,
they have the second-largest penis.Copy !req
1080. I have the first.Copy !req
1081. That's my joke.Copy !req
1082. Did you tell Lucy about this trip?Copy !req
1083. Well...Copy !req
1084. actually, there's nothing to tell
because I decided not to go.Copy !req
1085. I mean, Lucy needs me here.Copy !req
1086. I'm just worried about
going away for a year...Copy !req
1087. and ruining all the progress
she's made.Copy !req
1088. I know you think I'm crazy...Copy !req
1089. but I think deep down inside...Copy !req
1090. - ... she's starting to remember me.
- No, Henry.Copy !req
1091. That's what you want to believe.
It's what we all want to believe.Copy !req
1092. But it's never gonna happen.Copy !req
1093. Okay. I gotta go to work.Copy !req
1094. Will you tell her I'll be back later
to pick her up?Copy !req
1095. See you, guys. Don't tell anyone
your sister beat me up.Copy !req
1096. He could go to the moon and back and
Lucy would never even know he left.Copy !req
1097. Sometimes I wish my wife
had Goldfield Syndrome.Copy !req
1098. That way she wouldn't remember
when I called her mother...Copy !req
1099. a loud, obnoxious drunk with a face
like J. Edgar Hoover's ass.Copy !req
1100. All right. There's your medicine,
little fellow.Copy !req
1101. Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool!Copy !req
1102. If that's one of your special brownies,
don't let any of the dolphins eat that.Copy !req
1103. How do you think I get them to
double flip and play with white kids?Copy !req
1104. Okay, Willie, that's it.Copy !req
1105. This time try to stay clean
for more than a day.Copy !req
1106. I made you a nice anchovy sundae.Copy !req
1107. Okay, enjoy that.Copy !req
1108. Henry?Copy !req
1109. - Hey!
- How's your head?Copy !req
1110. - Oh, it's fine. Don't worry.
- Good.Copy !req
1111. What brings your royal cuteness
out here?Copy !req
1112. I needed to see you.Copy !req
1113. Okay. What you got there?Copy !req
1114. It's my journal. I write in it every night.Copy !req
1115. - Oh, you don't like the video?
- No, I love it.Copy !req
1116. It's just sometimes when I watch it,
I feel like I'm being told about my life...Copy !req
1117. from someone else.
And when I read this...Copy !req
1118. it's like I'm telling myself.Copy !req
1119. When did you start this up?Copy !req
1120. Right after you gave me the video.Copy !req
1121. - Really?
- I was so nervous to come here...Copy !req
1122. and meet the guy that makes me
fall in love with him every day.Copy !req
1123. Well, you probably thought
I couldn't live up to the hype.Copy !req
1124. No. I was nervous because...Copy !req
1125. Because I came here
to break up with you.Copy !req
1126. You had plans and a life...Copy !req
1127. before you met me
and now all you have time for...Copy !req
1128. is to make me fall in love with you.Copy !req
1129. That's not all I do.
I gave a penguin a bath today.Copy !req
1130. Which I'll have to do again tomorrow.Copy !req
1131. I look at my dad and my brother's
lives and I won't do that to you.Copy !req
1132. What do you want me to do? Be some
chapter in your scrapbook and go?Copy !req
1133. No.Copy !req
1134. My plan is to erase you completely,
so it's as if you never existed.Copy !req
1135. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
1136. Because you have to understand
that there is no future with me.Copy !req
1137. Don't you want to have a career
and marriage and children?Copy !req
1138. I asked you to marry me. You said yes.Copy !req
1139. Kids? Yeah, I'd love to do it.Copy !req
1140. But how is that going to work?Copy !req
1141. I'm gonna wake up every morning with
an enormous belly and no memory...Copy !req
1142. of how it happened?Copy !req
1143. I have to make a new journal
that doesn't have you in it.Copy !req
1144. But before I do...Copy !req
1145. I really want you to read
what I wrote about you.Copy !req
1146. I will read about it tomorrow...Copy !req
1147. when you forget about all this
breaking up stuff, okay?Copy !req
1148. I'm not going to forget it.
I wrote it down. I won't let myself.Copy !req
1149. And I'm gonna do it whether
you want me to or not.Copy !req
1150. I'll be at my house.Copy !req
1151. Okay, type this one in there.Copy !req
1152. Saturday, November 25th.Copy !req
1153. I drove out to Callahan Institute today
and had a talk with Dr. Keats.Copy !req
1154. There's one about me.Copy !req
1155. He makes funny noises
when I kiss his neck.Copy !req
1156. I'm gonna miss that.Copy !req
1157. You sure you don't want me
to put that in?Copy !req
1158. - We can skip that one.
- No, let me read it.Copy !req
1159. We made love tonight! It didn't
last long, but it was incredible.Copy !req
1160. It's not all about how long you go. It's...
There was a connection, I thought.Copy !req
1161. Actually, let's just rip that out.Copy !req
1162. Well, that's that.Copy !req
1163. Henry, wait!Copy !req
1164. Could I have one last first kiss?Copy !req
1165. - I ain't gonna do this, Marlin.
- You have to, Henry.Copy !req
1166. I'm gonna miss you, but I gotta
get the hell off this island.Copy !req
1167. I'm sorry I can't take you...Copy !req
1168. but you've lived here so long you're
too big of a pansy to defend yourself.Copy !req
1169. I don't feel bad for you. I know you
got a thing going on with Candace.Copy !req
1170. Candace and Bernice?Copy !req
1171. Candace, Bernice and Rose?Copy !req
1172. Yeah. I fell for one chick and I'm losing
my mind. Good luck with that.Copy !req
1173. Okay, baby.Copy !req
1174. I love you.Copy !req
1175. Thanks, buddy.
Remember to use a condom.Copy !req
1176. Or in your case, a Hefty bag.Copy !req
1177. Well...Copy !req
1178. Okay, you guys. Thanks for coming
to say goodbye.Copy !req
1179. Be careful.Copy !req
1180. You make sure your father doesn't
get eaten by a shark.Copy !req
1181. Thank you, buddy.
What does that mean again?Copy !req
1182. Bring me back a T-shirt.Copy !req
1183. Oh, okay. You got it.Copy !req
1184. Come here. All right. Love you guys.Copy !req
1185. My shirt size is medium husky.Copy !req
1186. Hey! Kikikuloa!Copy !req
1187. No flippies off the dock!
You could get hurt!Copy !req
1188. No! All right. Let the master
show you how to get it done.Copy !req
1189. Now you kids go down there
and find my nuts.Copy !req
1190. Sure you don't want to take Doug?Copy !req
1191. Hey! What the heck
are you guys doing here?Copy !req
1192. I spoke to the harbormaster and he
said you were setting sail today...Copy !req
1193. so we thought we'd wish
you bon voyage.Copy !req
1194. This is from Nick and Sue.
They send their best wishes.Copy !req
1195. That's very nice.
Spam and Reese's. All right.Copy !req
1196. I love Spam and Reese's.
Can I have it?Copy !req
1197. I guess.Copy !req
1198. - Doug!
- That's all right.Copy !req
1199. - I'm sorry.
- So...Copy !req
1200. how's Lucy?Copy !req
1201. Actually, she's living at the institute.Copy !req
1202. - When did that happen?
- Three weeks ago.Copy !req
1203. Said she didn't want to be a burden to
me and Doug anymore. I don't know.Copy !req
1204. I couldn't talk her out of it.
You know what?Copy !req
1205. She's doing really great up there.Copy !req
1206. She's teaching an art class
and she gets to paint every day.Copy !req
1207. In fact, she's even singing again.Copy !req
1208. Hey, look, I got a little gift
for you too.Copy !req
1209. It's just a little something
from one sailor to another one.Copy !req
1210. You take care of yourself out there.Copy !req
1211. - I will.
- Okay.Copy !req
1212. Henry did not tell me about you.Copy !req
1213. Your fisherman muscles.Copy !req
1214. Can I touch?Copy !req
1215. Sure.Copy !req
1216. Yes.Copy !req
1217. The Beach Boys?Copy !req
1218. How nice of him to give me a CD
that will remind me...Copy !req
1219. of all the wonderful times
I shared with his daughter.Copy !req
1220. What an asshole!Copy !req
1221. Oh, why?Copy !req
1222. Why would you do this to me?Copy !req
1223. You sick bastard!Copy !req
1224. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1225. Is he trying to tell me something?Copy !req
1226. She only sings on days
she meets you.Copy !req
1227. She remembers me?Copy !req
1228. Holy shit!Copy !req
1229. She remembers me!Copy !req
1230. Julia, that looks great.Copy !req
1231. Excuse me. What am I doing?Copy !req
1232. You're painting a picture.
And you're doing an excellent job.Copy !req
1233. Oh.Copy !req
1234. Holy crap! I suck.Copy !req
1235. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
1236. - Can we help you, sir?
- Yes. I have an appointment.Copy !req
1237. - What's your name?
- My name?Copy !req
1238. Dude, he forgot his name.
I feel bad for him.Copy !req
1239. Just go on up. And good luck
with that memory problem.Copy !req
1240. Yeah. Thank you.Copy !req
1241. What?Copy !req
1242. Lucy!Copy !req
1243. Lucy!Copy !req
1244. - Hi, I'm Tom.
- Hey, I met you before. I'm Henry.Copy !req
1245. Maybe you can help me.
I'm looking for Lucy Whitmore.Copy !req
1246. Any idea where I can find her?Copy !req
1247. Hi, I'm Tom.Copy !req
1248. Oh. Thanks anyways.Copy !req
1249. Lucy!Copy !req
1250. Lucy!Copy !req
1251. Lucy Whitmore...Copy !req
1252. can I ask you a question?Copy !req
1253. Do you have any idea who I am?Copy !req
1254. - No.
- No?Copy !req
1255. That sucks.Copy !req
1256. - What's your name?
- I'm Henry.Copy !req
1257. Henry.Copy !req
1258. I want to show you something.
Will you come with me?Copy !req
1259. Well, yeah.Copy !req
1260. Hey. Do you know who that guy is?Copy !req
1261. Dude, I don't even know who I am.Copy !req
1262. Oh, well, you're Pablo Picasso.Copy !req
1263. - Really?
- No. Not really.Copy !req
1264. This is my studio.Copy !req
1265. I don't know who you are, Henry...Copy !req
1266. but I dream about you
almost every night.Copy !req
1267. Why?Copy !req
1268. What would you say if I told you
that notebook you read every day...Copy !req
1269. used to have a lot of stuff
about me in it?Copy !req
1270. I would say that that
makes a lot of sense.Copy !req
1271. You erased me
from your memories...Copy !req
1272. because you thought you were
holding me back from having...Copy !req
1273. a full and happy life.Copy !req
1274. But you made a mistake.Copy !req
1275. Being with you is the only way
I could have a full and happy life.Copy !req
1276. You're the girl of my dreams...Copy !req
1277. and apparently I'm the man of yours.Copy !req
1278. Henry.Copy !req
1279. It's nice to meet you.Copy !req
1280. Lucy, it's nice to meet you too.Copy !req
1281. Hi, I'm Tom.Copy !req
1282. Henry, Lucy. Nice to meet you, Tom.Copy !req
1283. Now why don't you come back in
ten seconds so we can meet again?Copy !req
1284. Do you, Honah Lee, take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife...Copy !req
1285. to have and to hold
from this day forth...Copy !req
1286. as long as you both shall live?Copy !req
1287. - I do.
- Really?Copy !req
1288. Even though in, like, 10, 15 years...Copy !req
1289. she could possibly let herself
go and then, like...Copy !req
1290. sex could be, like,
nauseating for you?Copy !req
1291. What are you, nuts?
Your wife's right over there.Copy !req
1292. I'm just kidding, Muumuu!Copy !req
1293. I now pronounce you man and wife.Copy !req
1294. Mazel tov!Copy !req
1295. It's very cold, so when you're ready...Copy !req
1296. put on a jacket and come have
breakfast with me. Love you.Copy !req
1297. Hey, hey! Good morning, Mrs. Roth.
Would you like to meet your daughter?Copy !req
1298. Go say hello to Mommy.Copy !req
1299. Hi, Mommy.Copy !req
1300. That's right.Copy !req
1301. Good morning.Copy !req
1302. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
1303. - Grandpa's here.
- Hi, Dad.Copy !req
1304. XenzaiCopy !req