1. So tell me. How was Hawaii?Copy !req
2. - It was unbelievable.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
3. - Well, what happened?
- I met this guy.Copy !req
4. It was the best week of my life.Copy !req
5. It was just a little
vacation romance.Copy !req
6. But he was so sweet.Copy !req
7. He took me to all these
cool local places.Copy !req
8. We went scuba diving...Copy !req
9. - Snorkeling.
- Mountain climbing.Copy !req
10. Well, we got a little drunk.Copy !req
11. - He gave me...
- A back rub.Copy !req
12. We slow danced...Copy !req
13. —in the rain.Copy !req
14. But it wasn't just about the sex.Copy !req
15. It ended kind of weird, though.Copy !req
16. When I asked for his number,
he said he's...Copy !req
17. - Married.
- Gay.Copy !req
18. - Entering the priesthood.
- He doesn't believe in phones.Copy !req
19. He just kind of ran away.Copy !req
20. You know, it was just
a little fling, but...Copy !req
21. I won't forget my week...Copy !req
22. —with Henry Roth.Copy !req
23. - Henry Roth.
- Harry.Copy !req
24. Harry Paratesticles.Copy !req
25. - Henry Roth.
- Henry Roth.Copy !req
26. - Henry Roth.
- Henry Roth.Copy !req
27. Henry Roth, why didn't you tell me
you were a secret agent?Copy !req
28. I prefer intelligence operative,
and I couldn't tell you until I knew you.Copy !req
29. Well, can I call you when I land?Copy !req
30. You can call me, but I'll be in Peru.
I said that a little loud.Copy !req
31. Come on, that's a 187, code blue.
We got the wolf sleeping at night.Copy !req
32. He's slipping his arm in the drawer
and out comes the cookie jar. All clear.Copy !req
33. Got it?Copy !req
34. Well, maybe when you
get back from Peru.Copy !req
35. - I don't think that's an option, Lisa.
- Linda.Copy !req
36. I know. I changed your name
for your protection.Copy !req
37. We have to go our separate ways now.Copy !req
38. Well, goodbye.Copy !req
39. Got it! Moving out!Copy !req
40. - What the hell is your problem?
- Just keep going, I'll give you $20.Copy !req
41. - You got it. How's your balls?
- Killing me. Hit it.Copy !req
42. Easy, Honah Lee.Copy !req
43. Hey, I'm a person, not a seal.Copy !req
44. Well, I am a vet, not a doctor. So just
hold still, or I won't give you a treat.Copy !req
45. I know, it's okay.
You see that, kids?Copy !req
46. You see what happens
when you play with sharks?Copy !req
47. Now, why you gotta spread those lies?
Sharks are like dogs.Copy !req
48. They only bite when you
touch their private parts.Copy !req
49. That's a good title
for my documentary.Copy !req
50. They Only Bite When
You Touch Their Private Parts.Copy !req
51. Or you could call it,
They Tried to Eat My Kidney.Copy !req
52. All right, enough already.
You too, Willie.Copy !req
53. All of you.Copy !req
54. He just cast a spell on us.Copy !req
55. All right. Put this on four times
a day for two weeks.Copy !req
56. - You can handle that.
- What's wrong with that turtle?Copy !req
57. Lung problems because
he smoked too much turtle weed...Copy !req
58. which is bad for you. Right, Ula?Copy !req
59. What? I don't smoke weed.Copy !req
60. Hey, Honah Lee? How's that hot
wahine nympho from Ohio?Copy !req
61. Great. I dropped her off
at the airport this morning.Copy !req
62. Come on, I need some details.Copy !req
63. You get some booby, some assy,
a pull on your poi-poi? Come on.Copy !req
64. Daddy, what's a nympho?Copy !req
65. Oh. The nympho
is the state bird of Ohio.Copy !req
66. You're the state idiot of Hawaii.Copy !req
67. Here you go. Bite the fish,
chew the fish, love the fish. Enjoy.Copy !req
68. - You crack me up, kamaaina.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
69. - One of these days...
- Yeah?Copy !req
70. you'll show one of those
tourists such a good time...Copy !req
71. she'll wanna stay on the island.Copy !req
72. Why do you say
mean things like that...Copy !req
73. and why is your foot
on my pillow?Copy !req
74. I don't want your ass on it, either.
Get up! Get up!Copy !req
75. It could happen.Copy !req
76. Then you won't be able to go
on your boat trip to Alaska.Copy !req
77. You'll be stuck here, waking up next to
the same old, ugly broad, just like Ula.Copy !req
78. - Just kidding, guys.
- About the old part or the ugly part?Copy !req
79. Henry, come quickly!
It's Jocko!Copy !req
80. Jocko! What's going on
with you, buddy?Copy !req
81. Don't be scared.
Everything's gonna be fine.Copy !req
82. Just stay calm. All right.Copy !req
83. Willie, I don't need you to see this.
Get out of here, now!Copy !req
84. Okay, check the temperature
of the pool. Go! Hurry!Copy !req
85. What are you doing?
I meant check the thermometer!Copy !req
86. Give me a hand. Let's go!Copy !req
87. Get me two fish
from the barrel. Now.Copy !req
88. - Okay.
- Just hang in there.Copy !req
89. - Here.
- It's gonna be all right.Copy !req
90. That's a little warm.
Go to the bottom of the barrel, please.Copy !req
91. Okay, there. That's good. Thank you.Copy !req
92. Come on, buddy, take it. Take it.Copy !req
93. - He's not responding!
- I know, Alexa!Copy !req
94. Sorry, I smacked you. You needed
the fish-slap to calm down.Copy !req
95. - Do you understand? Are you calm?
- Yes. Fish-slap calm me.Copy !req
96. I'm gonna try to get him
breathing manually...Copy !req
97. so I need your face next
to his mouth to see if it's working.Copy !req
98. - Are you ready?
- Yes.Copy !req
99. - One, two, three!
- Nothing, nothing!Copy !req
100. All right! Try it again. If it doesn't
work we'll perform a tracheotomy.Copy !req
101. We don't wanna do that, so let's
pray this works. One more time.Copy !req
102. One, two...Copy !req
103. That's a lot of vomit.Copy !req
104. This is why I got into
this business.Copy !req
105. To save sea animals.Copy !req
106. You should go
wash yourself off, okay?Copy !req
107. Maybe try some turpentine.
That might take the stink away.Copy !req
108. Yeah, high-five is right, buddy.Copy !req
109. I knew you were gonna burp,
but the vomit thing was awesome!Copy !req
110. That's what she gets for eating
my roast beef sandwich.Copy !req
111. Willie, did you see that?Copy !req
112. Captain's log:
November 5th, 6:45 a.m.Copy !req
113. I've taken the Sea Serpent for
a trip around the island of Oahu.Copy !req
114. It is by far the longest voyage
she has yet undertaken...Copy !req
115. and its completion will signal
that she's ready...Copy !req
116. for our great journey
to Bristol Bay...Copy !req
117. whose unspoiled walrus habitat
will yield an abundance of—Copy !req
118. Damn it!Copy !req
119. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
120. Aloha, honey.
What can I get for you?Copy !req
121. I guess I'll take a cup of coffee.Copy !req
122. - You guess?
- Yeah, I already ate breakfast.Copy !req
123. I need to kill some time before the
Coast Guard gets here to tow my boat.Copy !req
124. What did you eat?Copy !req
125. I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
and some Gatorade.Copy !req
126. They're not breakfast.
I get you Spam and eggs.Copy !req
127. Nick, I need Spam and eggs.Copy !req
128. Hey.Copy !req
129. - You like the peanut butter cups?
- Yes.Copy !req
130. Want me to put peanut butter cups
in your eggs?Copy !req
131. No, that's okay.Copy !req
132. Peanut butter cups.Copy !req
133. - Hey, Sue, nice haircut.
- Mahalo, Lucy.Copy !req
134. Are you staring at me or her?Copy !req
135. Because you're starting
to freak me out.Copy !req
136. Settle down and eat your pancakes.Copy !req
137. I think she's a local girl.
I wanted to go up to her...Copy !req
138. but I was kind of off my game.
But, man, was she cute, though.Copy !req
139. I thought you liked your bitches
from out of state.Copy !req
140. Yeah, that's usually my policy.
Make sure I don't get tied down.Copy !req
141. Freeze that image right there.Copy !req
142. There's the little fella.
Congratulations, Mommy.Copy !req
143. Sounds to me like someone
is afraid of commitment.Copy !req
144. Let me guess.Copy !req
145. Your high school sweetheart
got drunk at party...Copy !req
146. then cheated on you
with whole wrestling team.Copy !req
147. Close. Actually, it was my
college girlfriend Tracy.Copy !req
148. And it wasn't a wrestling team.
It was her academic advisor.Copy !req
149. - Oh, she liked the older man.
- Older women. About 50 years older.Copy !req
150. I hope you shot the stupid tramp.Copy !req
151. What's with the "tramp"
and the "bitches" talk?Copy !req
152. - Are you drunk or something?
- I apologize for nasty talk.Copy !req
153. I am grouchy due to lack
of recent physical intimacy.Copy !req
154. Shut up, because here comes
one-time-only opportunity.Copy !req
155. What I will do now is go into
your office and become naked.Copy !req
156. Next move is up to you.Copy !req
157. I may not be as limber
as I once was...Copy !req
158. but I make up for it with enthusiasm
and willingness to experiment.Copy !req
159. I don't know if you realize,
I'm not into guys.Copy !req
160. Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups.Copy !req
161. Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-in-One-Punch.
How you doing?Copy !req
162. - You're back.
- Couldn't get enough of that Spam.Copy !req
163. Fry some up and throw
some eggs on it.Copy !req
164. - You got it.
- All right, mahalo.Copy !req
165. - Hi, Lucy.
- Hi, Nick.Copy !req
166. You know, why don't you try this?Copy !req
167. It's kind of a hinge.Copy !req
168. - Now, why didn't I think of that?
- Well, you're too close to the project.Copy !req
169. Don't be hard on yourself.Copy !req
170. Right. Sometimes you need
an outsider's perspective.Copy !req
171. Fresh eye never hurts.Copy !req
172. I'm Lucy.Copy !req
173. Yes. I'm Henry Roth.Copy !req
174. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.Copy !req
175. It's pretty. Keep up the good work.Copy !req
176. Wait. I see you're sitting there alone.
Do you wanna come and sit down?Copy !req
177. - Sure, that'd be great, if that's all right.
- Okay.Copy !req
178. - So are you an architect?
- I am not. I'm in fish.Copy !req
179. Oh, that's where the smell
is coming from.Copy !req
180. Yeah, yeah, I was feeding
a walrus this morning...Copy !req
181. and I thought I got most of it
off of me, but guess I didn't.Copy !req
182. - I love that smell.
- No, you don't.Copy !req
183. - Fish don't even like that smell.
- No, I do. My dad's a fisherman.Copy !req
184. He and my brother Doug, they go
out to sea for months at a time.Copy !req
185. And I miss them so much while they're
gone that when they come back...Copy !req
186. I just hold on to them
for five minutes each.Copy !req
187. And they smell just like your hands.
It's the best smell in the world.Copy !req
188. Well, my fingers are available...Copy !req
189. for your sniffing pleasure
anytime you need them.Copy !req
190. - Wanna?
- Okay.Copy !req
191. Sea lions are known
for their athleticism...Copy !req
192. and dolphins are known
for their intelligence.Copy !req
193. - Walruses are known for their...
- Tusks?Copy !req
194. Their tusks. Also their male parts
can get pretty gigantic.Copy !req
195. Yeah, yeah, it's the second biggest
out of all the mammals.Copy !req
196. - What's the first?
- I think Tattoo-Face.Copy !req
197. I like your laugh.Copy !req
198. I like you making me laugh.Copy !req
199. I hate to break this up,
but we're setting up for lunch.Copy !req
200. Oh, okay. Sorry, Sue.Copy !req
201. And the real cool thing about walruses
is they're very mysterious.Copy !req
202. - Mysterious?
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
203. We don't really know what
they're like in the wild.Copy !req
204. Don't they just sleep on icebergs
and yawn all the time?Copy !req
205. All we really see is what they do
outside of the water...Copy !req
206. but who knows what
they do under the ice...Copy !req
207. where they spend
two-thirds of their lives.Copy !req
208. Well, maybe they're intimidating the
other creatures with their big winkies.Copy !req
209. That is one theory.Copy !req
210. - I have to go.
- Where you going?Copy !req
211. It's my dad's birthday, and we go
every year and we pick a pineapple.Copy !req
212. - It's a tradition.
- That sounds nice. Okay, well...Copy !req
213. I had a great time.Copy !req
214. - Me too.
- Okay.Copy !req
215. Would you like to have breakfast
again tomorrow morning, same time?Copy !req
216. - Because I teach an art class at 10.
- Really?Copy !req
217. - Yeah.
- I wish I could make it...Copy !req
218. but, yes, I will be there.Copy !req
219. - Take care.
- Okay.Copy !req
220. - One for the road. It is fishy.
- Got you good.Copy !req
221. - Aloha.
- Aloha!Copy !req
222. See you tomorrow.Copy !req
223. Oh, my God.Copy !req
224. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
225. Shit.Copy !req
226. I had a bee on me.Copy !req
227. - All right.
- He was a big one.Copy !req
228. Which means
"look at those two shitheads."Copy !req
229. That was the stupidest-looking
swing I've ever seen.Copy !req
230. I'm gonna take a Molokai
on that one.Copy !req
231. No throwing. Come on.Copy !req
232. Stop laughing, you hyenas.
Let's see what you get.Copy !req
233. Okay, you heard me. Go! Go!Copy !req
234. Show papa what you got.Copy !req
235. - You suck, you're good at everything.
- Father of the Year strikes again.Copy !req
236. By the way, cuz, I met this sexy, blond
tax attorney at Starbucks today.Copy !req
237. I told her you the kahuna
she wanna have fun on this island.Copy !req
238. You want her number?Copy !req
239. You pimping tourists for me again?Copy !req
240. Yes! I live vicariously
through you, remember?Copy !req
241. My life sucks.Copy !req
242. Now, come on. Give her the Waikikiki
sneaky between the cheeky.Copy !req
243. Ula needs it. I imagine I did it and then
I can get through another weekend.Copy !req
244. I'm staying in. Sorry.
Thank you, though.Copy !req
245. - What?
- Hey, Dad!Copy !req
246. Not now, Keanu Mokokokakau.Copy !req
247. But your stitches are bleeding.Copy !req
248. It must've been my huge back-swing.Copy !req
249. You think you can stitch me up
after I get back from surfing?Copy !req
250. - Yeah, looking forward to it.
- I wouldn't surf with a wound like that.Copy !req
251. You might attract a shark.Copy !req
252. What's wrong with that?
Sharks are naturally peaceful.Copy !req
253. Is that right?
How'd you get that nasty cut, anyway?Copy !req
254. A shark bit me.Copy !req
255. Nice.Copy !req
256. Go smoke another one, bro.Copy !req
257. That shark theory's
starting to catch on.Copy !req
258. Now, will everybody keep it down...Copy !req
259. while I whack the crap
out of this thing?Copy !req
260. Sit! Stay! Shit! No!Copy !req
261. Where the hell is it?Copy !req
262. Looking for something?Copy !req
263. Oh, my God!
What are you doing here?Copy !req
264. The same thing you are.
Looking for my ball.Copy !req
265. This is weird. I've been thinking
about you all morning, all day.Copy !req
266. Can't wait to have breakfast
with you again.Copy !req
267. I know. And I just wanna eat you up.Copy !req
268. - Really?
- Yeah. Tomorrow and the next day...Copy !req
269. - ... and the next day and the next day.
- All right. Okay.Copy !req
270. Oh, my.Copy !req
271. Oh, Lucy, that feels so good.Copy !req
272. No, my nipples are too sensitive.
Stop that.Copy !req
273. - What happened?
- Your ball hooked into that cart...Copy !req
274. bounced back and hit you in
the head. It was freaking hilarious.Copy !req
275. - What?
- Who's Lucy?Copy !req
276. And what's up with your nipples?Copy !req
277. I can't be falling for a local.
I ain't ever going back to that diner.Copy !req
278. - This where you got hit?
- Yes!Copy !req
279. You're so lucky you're a professional
cliff diver in Hawaii.Copy !req
280. - Yeah, well, it's a living.
- I'm a tax attorney.Copy !req
281. - We never get to have any fun.
- Is that right?Copy !req
282. I'd like to do something
extra fun tonight.Copy !req
283. Taking it deep, aren't you?Copy !req
284. How about another
fishbowl for the lady?Copy !req
285. - Why don't I just tap a keg for her?
- Okay.Copy !req
286. I think I'm getting kind of drunk.Copy !req
287. - Are you getting drunk?
- Getting there.Copy !req
288. So, what are you thinking?Copy !req
289. What am I thinking?Copy !req
290. Actually, I'm not drunk at all,
Noreen, and neither are you...Copy !req
291. because there's no alcohol
in these drinks.Copy !req
292. Sadly, I've used this technique
many times.Copy !req
293. It helps lovely tourists,
such as yourself...Copy !req
294. loosen up without impairing
your ability to stay awake...Copy !req
295. and have guilt-free,
vigorous sex with me.Copy !req
296. - Wow.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
297. I'm not a cliff diver, either.
I'm afraid of heights.Copy !req
298. Well, since it's my last night in town...Copy !req
299. can I pretend you didn't just say that
and still have sex with you anyway?Copy !req
300. I can't do it. I'm sorry.Copy !req
301. Well, can you at least point me in
the direction of someone who can?Copy !req
302. That guy over there
could help you out.Copy !req
303. - Isn't that a woman?
- Jeez, I'm not really sure.Copy !req
304. But you're too drunk to notice,
remember? Take care.Copy !req
305. - Hey, you. Aloha.
- Aloha.Copy !req
306. Not aloha, "hello," aloha, "goodbye."
We're closed today. Go away.Copy !req
307. - What are you talking about?
- Order up!Copy !req
308. - Don't move. I have to talk to you.
- Okay.Copy !req
309. - Hey! Tattoo-Face!
- Hey, Peanut Butter Cups!Copy !req
310. Hi.Copy !req
311. Hi.Copy !req
312. My fingers are extra fishy today,
if you care to take a whiff.Copy !req
313. What was that?Copy !req
314. I was petting my walrus all morning
and thinking of you the whole time.Copy !req
315. Okay, pervert.
I think that you should leave.Copy !req
316. What? I was joking because
of what we talked about yesterday.Copy !req
317. Yesterday?Copy !req
318. I've never even met you.Copy !req
319. - Nick! I need help!
- Coming, Lucy.Copy !req
320. Nick, put that down.
I'll handle it.Copy !req
321. - You, follow me.
- Wait a— What's going on?Copy !req
322. I was kidding around with you!Copy !req
323. What's happening here?
Is she crazy or something?Copy !req
324. Lucy is a very special person.
Very different from other people.Copy !req
325. Okay.Copy !req
326. About a year ago, Lucy was
in a terrible car accident.Copy !req
327. She and her father went up
North Shore to get a pineapple.Copy !req
328. Her father broke some ribs, but Lucy
suffered a serious head injury.Copy !req
329. She lost her short-term memory.Copy !req
330. So she can't remember anything?Copy !req
331. No, no, no, she has all of her
long-term memory.Copy !req
332. That's a different part
of the brain.Copy !req
333. Her whole life, up to the night before
the accident, she remembers.Copy !req
334. She just can't retain
any new information.Copy !req
335. It's like her slate gets wiped clean
every night while she sleeps.Copy !req
336. Hold on. This sounds like something
I would tell a psycho girl...Copy !req
337. so she'd stop calling me.
Am I the psycho girl?Copy !req
338. I wish I was making this up!Copy !req
339. She has no memory
that she ever met you.Copy !req
340. What about the
pineapple-picking thing?Copy !req
341. She says that every day,
because each morning...Copy !req
342. she wakes up thinking it's
October 13th of last year.Copy !req
343. She comes for breakfast because
that's what she did on Sundays...Copy !req
344. and October 13th
was a Sunday.Copy !req
345. She has no idea
it's more than a year later.Copy !req
346. She reads the newspaper.Copy !req
347. It's a special paper her father
puts on their porch.Copy !req
348. It's from the day of her accident.
He got hundreds of them printed.Copy !req
349. Lucy does the same thing every day.Copy !req
350. - Hello!
- Back here.Copy !req
351. - Hi, Dad!
- Oh, hi, sweetie.Copy !req
352. You got one without me.Copy !req
353. The lady at the farmers' market
gave it to me as a birthday present.Copy !req
354. I didn't wanna hurt her feelings.Copy !req
355. I think she likes you.Copy !req
356. - Yeah, what's not to like?
- What about our tradition?Copy !req
357. Well, I have another idea.
I painted my workshop yesterday.Copy !req
358. White.Copy !req
359. Now it's too white.
Gives me a headache.Copy !req
360. Oh, yeah, you definitely
need some color in here.Copy !req
361. Well, you know,
that's what I was thinking.Copy !req
362. - Really?
- Yeah. Go nuts.Copy !req
363. - Paint me something for my birthday.
- I will.Copy !req
364. And promise that we can pick
a pineapple for Thanksgiving, okay?Copy !req
365. - Sounds great.
- Okay, good.Copy !req
366. Hey, you should watch the Vikings
game while I'm painting.Copy !req
367. Good idea.Copy !req
368. - Yeah, baby. Isolate.
- What are we eating tonight, Doug?Copy !req
369. - Spaghetti, Pop.
- Try not to sweat in the sauce.Copy !req
370. Sorry, Pop.Copy !req
371. Go Vikings.Copy !req
372. Seven hundred and five.
Seven hundred and six.Copy !req
373. - Seven hundred and seven.
- Hey, you guys.Copy !req
374. Hey, sweetie.
How's the painting coming?Copy !req
375. - You'll see.
- Cool.Copy !req
376. - Oh. What's the score?
- The Vikings are on the two-yard line.Copy !req
377. - If they score, they bring it to 14-10.
- Maybe they'll win for your birthday.Copy !req
378. And I'll bet Culpepper runs it in.Copy !req
379. I'll bet he fakes a handoff to Williams,
throws to Kleinsasser in the end zone.Copy !req
380. - Loser does the dishes?
- You're on.Copy !req
381. —Keep the offense on the field.Copy !req
382. Culpepper fakes a handoff
to Williams. He will throw.Copy !req
383. He's got Kleinsasser in the end zone!
Touchdown, Minnesota.Copy !req
384. Doug, you're good.Copy !req
385. Maybe you should be a coach.Copy !req
386. - Dad.
- Moron!Copy !req
387. That hurt.Copy !req
388. And you don't look a day over 25.Copy !req
389. Yeah, right, and Doug's muscles
aren't pharmaceutically enhanced.Copy !req
390. What? I use an herb supplement...Copy !req
391. that can be purchased at any
health-food store. Check this out.Copy !req
392. Check out these glutes.
Rock-hard, baby.Copy !req
393. Pretty sweet, huh?Copy !req
394. Stop it! You're gonna make me
throw up on the cake.Copy !req
395. Okay, just open your present.Copy !req
396. Okay. Let's see what we've got here.Copy !req
397. The Sixth Sense.Copy !req
398. Hey! When I'm done doing the dishes,
do you guys wanna watch it?Copy !req
399. - Sure.
- Sure.Copy !req
400. Ben Friedkin?Copy !req
401. Some people, they call me freak.Copy !req
402. - Ronald Sumner?
- I am. I am a freak. Look at me.Copy !req
403. Just give me a chance—Copy !req
404. I can't believe it.
Bruce Willis is a ghost.Copy !req
405. I'm shocked.
Did you see that coming?Copy !req
406. - No.
- Not a clue.Copy !req
407. - Shocked as hell.
- Anyway, it was awesome.Copy !req
408. - Happy birthday.
- Love you, Sis.Copy !req
409. Your muscles are getting so big, I can
barely wrap my arms around you.Copy !req
410. You like that?
Check this out.Copy !req
411. Okay, okay! Enough with the titty
dance! Let your sister go to sleep.Copy !req
412. - I like it.
- Sweet dreams, Lucy.Copy !req
413. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
414. Hey, Tracy, how you doing?Copy !req
415. Yeah?Copy !req
416. Well, things changed a little bit
since high school.Copy !req
417. And this is what happens
every single day.Copy !req
418. How long it gonna take for
her memory to come back?Copy !req
419. Her doctors say it may
never come back.Copy !req
420. So, basically,
what you're saying is...Copy !req
421. - ... she's perfect for you.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
422. You can hang out all day with
no attachment, because—Copy !req
423. Her plane leaves every night?
There's a problem with that.Copy !req
424. - What is?
- It's evil.Copy !req
425. No, it isn't.Copy !req
426. You meet her, hang out, flirt,
no commitment, nobody gets hurt.Copy !req
427. - She's got brain damage, you psycho.
- Okay, I'll give you that one.Copy !req
428. But I think it'd be healthy for you.Copy !req
429. You haven't allowed yourself
to connect with a girl.Copy !req
430. I appreciate your interest,
but leave me alone.Copy !req
431. Hey, you'd be doing exactly
what her father does:Copy !req
432. Giving her a wonderful day.Copy !req
433. When it's time for you to go on your
big boat trip, poof, you just leave.Copy !req
434. She'll never even know you're gone.Copy !req
435. I'm not sure about the "poofing" part,
because I'm not a good poofer.Copy !req
436. Demonstrate a good poof for me?Copy !req
437. Quit busting my coconuts
for five seconds.Copy !req
438. All right. Would you stop poofing
on that joint and do some work?Copy !req
439. Okay. Let's get this sucker ready.Copy !req
440. Then we're gonna take her
out for a spin.Copy !req
441. Captain's log: November 7th.
Nearly midnight.Copy !req
442. The Sea Serpent is fully
recovered from her mishap...Copy !req
443. and ready to once again
brave the open ocean.Copy !req
444. I think my stitches
opened up again, cuz.Copy !req
445. You got a cat?
Because I feel something licking me.Copy !req
446. How is it?Copy !req
447. Peanut Butter Cups.
What are you doing here?Copy !req
448. I just wanted to say hi to Lucy.Copy !req
449. I promise you I'm not gonna
do anything wrong.Copy !req
450. What did Sue say?Copy !req
451. She said that if I talk to Lucy,
you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.Copy !req
452. She's the boss, cuz.
But don't worry.Copy !req
453. Lucy probably didn't wanna
talk to you anyway.Copy !req
454. - What does that mean?
- This ain't a disco.Copy !req
455. She doesn't want guys hitting on her
during her breakfast.Copy !req
456. She does if it's Henry Roth.Copy !req
457. - Who that?
- Who that? Me that.Copy !req
458. I bet you 20 bucks I can get her
to have breakfast with me again.Copy !req
459. - You're on.
- I love it.Copy !req
460. - How you doing, honey?
- Hey, Sue. Nice haircut.Copy !req
461. Oh, mahalo.
See you in a bit.Copy !req
462. Nick and I have an arrangement.
You can trust me.Copy !req
463. Don't worry.Copy !req
464. You should try this out.
Put it in there.Copy !req
465. Swivelly door.Copy !req
466. Waffleonians can
come in and out now.Copy !req
467. Are you from a country where it's
okay to stick your fingers...Copy !req
468. all over someone else's food?Copy !req
469. No, I'm from this country.Copy !req
470. Why? Were you gonna eat that? Oh.Copy !req
471. All right, well, have a good meal.Copy !req
472. - Yeah.
- That was pathetic.Copy !req
473. Yeah? Why don't you choke
on your Spam?Copy !req
474. Double or nothing tomorrow.Copy !req
475. Hey. I'm sorry to bother you...Copy !req
476. but you look like a person
who appreciates fine art...Copy !req
477. so I wanted your opinion.Copy !req
478. I drew this. It's a picture of a father
and son fishing off a fishing boat.Copy !req
479. There's a walrus right there—Copy !req
480. Oh, you don't speak English. Okay.Copy !req
481. Doesn't look Chinese.Copy !req
482. Forty.Copy !req
483. Can I have that?Copy !req
484. I need something
to wipe my ass with.Copy !req
485. Shut up.Copy !req
486. I wonder what's the matter with him.Copy !req
487. Looks like a stupid asshole to me.Copy !req
488. Excuse me. Okay.
I didn't mean to startle you.Copy !req
489. - No, that's all right. I—
- Are you okay?Copy !req
490. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm having
a problem with something...Copy !req
491. Something that I could help you with?Copy !req
492. No, no, no. I just...Copy !req
493. can't read.Copy !req
494. You gotta be kidding me.Copy !req
495. - I can read that for you.
- No. Thank you.Copy !req
496. I can do this on my own.Copy !req
497. Appreciate the sentiment.Copy !req
498. I'm gonna get an order of the...Copy !req
499. Pan...Copy !req
500. Pan...Copy !req
501. Panku—Copy !req
502. Ca—Copy !req
503. Panclocks.Copy !req
504. - Pancakes.
- Okay, I'll have pancake.Copy !req
505. - Pancakes.
- Pancah— Pancakes! Pancakes!Copy !req
506. - I'm so stupid!
- Oh, don't cry.Copy !req
507. - Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
- Don't cry.Copy !req
508. - I don't know anything!
- What a loser.Copy !req
509. I'll tell you what.
Why don't you sit with me?Copy !req
510. You can have some breakfast and
I'll help teach you some of the words.Copy !req
511. - Okay.
- All right.Copy !req
512. - That sounds nice.
- Come on over.Copy !req
513. - Okay, thank you.
- All right.Copy !req
514. So I comes before the E?Copy !req
515. - Except after C?
- Yes.Copy !req
516. Okay, and C is that little
half a squiggly one, right?Copy !req
517. - Yes.
- I think I'm getting it.Copy !req
518. - How'd you get so good at teaching?
- I'm a teacher. I do it all the time.Copy !req
519. I'm an art teacher at
the Haluki-liki Junior High.Copy !req
520. Well, you Haluki-liki the kind of
teacher all the kids have crushes on.Copy !req
521. I know I would if I was in your class.Copy !req
522. Okay.Copy !req
523. Oh, boy, do my—
My fingers smell like fish.Copy !req
524. That doesn't gross you out, does it?Copy !req
525. No, not at all.Copy !req
526. Really?Copy !req
527. If Lucy gets hurt, I'm gonna chop you
with the meat cleaver.Copy !req
528. Okay, okay.Copy !req
529. So I had a nice time.Copy !req
530. - Yeah, me too.
- Thank you very much.Copy !req
531. - Let me get it for you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
532. Sure.Copy !req
533. Okay.Copy !req
534. I just want to eat you up, tomorrow
and the next day, next day, next day...Copy !req
535. I'll see you around.Copy !req
536. Okay.Copy !req
537. Really? That's it?Copy !req
538. - That's what?
- All that flirting...Copy !req
539. and phony "I can't read" stuff,
and you're not gonna ask me out...Copy !req
540. or for my phone number?Copy !req
541. - I can't read.
- Oh, shut up.Copy !req
542. That was one of the goofiest things
I've ever seen, but I thought:Copy !req
543. "Hey, if this guy is so desperate
to meet me...Copy !req
544. he might be worth talking to."Copy !req
545. But then I get stiffed.Copy !req
546. No, no, no,
this is what happened. I...Copy !req
547. Mahalo for the ego boost.Copy !req
548. - You're right. You're right. I feel like—
- No worries.Copy !req
549. I gotta—
I can read a little!Copy !req
550. I didn't know I came before E!
That one I didn't know, I swear.Copy !req
551. Oh, you idiot.Copy !req
552. I hope you're happy, Shamu.Copy !req
553. Marlin. It's Sue.Copy !req
554. - Oh, aloha, sir. My name's Henry—
- I know who you are.Copy !req
555. - I want to apologize to your daughter.
- Not gonna happen.Copy !req
556. She's inside.
We're gonna straighten things out.Copy !req
557. Dad, the damn mongoose
got in the garbage again!Copy !req
558. - Is this the guy?
- Yeah.Copy !req
559. Mr. Roth, I have one simple request:Copy !req
560. Stay away from my daughter.Copy !req
561. Absolutely. I hurt her feelings
and don't want it to end like that.Copy !req
562. It's gonna end like this.Copy !req
563. Calm down, little fellow.Copy !req
564. I'm gonna kill you! You're a dead man.
Okay, I'm calm.Copy !req
565. I'm calm.Copy !req
566. - Let me help you up.
- I got it! I got it.Copy !req
567. It's just Dad and I work too hard
to protect Lucy to let some idiot ruin it.Copy !req
568. I know what you guys do
and I totally respect that.Copy !req
569. If you know her condition, you know
she can't have a normal relationship.Copy !req
570. The next morning,
she won't know who he is.Copy !req
571. And any guy who's okay with that...Copy !req
572. ain't okay with me.Copy !req
573. - I'm not looking for a one-night stand.
- Anything with Lucy is, numb-nuts.Copy !req
574. Give us a break.
Just stay away from the Hukilau Café.Copy !req
575. My daughter's been through enough.Copy !req
576. Okay. I'm sorry.Copy !req
577. I could have whooped his ass,
but this gravel, I slipped on it—Copy !req
578. Yeah, well, maybe you need to do
a few more butt flexes.Copy !req
579. Cheap shot, Dad.Copy !req
580. So fresh and so clean.Copy !req
581. Hey, Alexa, did you hook up
with that girl from the bar?Copy !req
582. - I chickened out.
- Really?Copy !req
583. Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I prefer sausage to taco.Copy !req
584. - What?
- Yeah. No, I agree, buddy.Copy !req
585. Get out of here.
Run for the hills.Copy !req
586. Let me ask you something, Alexa.Copy !req
587. If you promised a girl's dad
that you wouldn't see her...Copy !req
588. would you consider that
a binding promise?Copy !req
589. - Absolutely.
- Yeah?Copy !req
590. Then again, there are always ways
around such things.Copy !req
591. - Like?
- For example...Copy !req
592. if I promised a woman's father
I would not see her...Copy !req
593. I would simply shut my eyes
while she serviced my manhood.Copy !req
594. That's actually a cool way to look at it.Copy !req
595. And a very gross way.Copy !req
596. He asked me not to go to the Hukilau.
I'm not going there.Copy !req
597. I'm not doing anything wrong.Copy !req
598. Sorry to bother you.
I'm kind of stuck here.Copy !req
599. - Car trouble?
- Yeah. You mind giving me a jump?Copy !req
600. Okay.Copy !req
601. Appreciate your time.Copy !req
602. Not everybody would have stopped.Copy !req
603. - You're real sweet.
- Oh, yeah. Thank you.Copy !req
604. I can't believe you fell for that.Copy !req
605. Well, my grandfather died
trying to jump-start a car.Copy !req
606. I'm sorry.
I was just joking around.Copy !req
607. I can't believe you fell for that!Copy !req
608. Oh, my God.Copy !req
609. That was very good.Copy !req
610. - My name's Henry.
- I'm Lucy.Copy !req
611. Nice to meet you.
You look like a nice...Copy !req
612. Hi. Sorry for the delay.
Should be a few minutes.Copy !req
613. - No problem. No worries.
- Where you coming from?Copy !req
614. Breakfast?Copy !req
615. - Yeah.
- How was it?Copy !req
616. I had waffles. They were delicious.Copy !req
617. I like making little houses
out of waffles.Copy !req
618. - You do?
- That's my thing.Copy !req
619. - What's your name?
- Lucy.Copy !req
620. Hi, I'm Henry.Copy !req
621. Okay, pal. When she stops,
just let her pet you. Look cute.Copy !req
622. Go to the middle of the road.
Thank you. Right there. Perfect.Copy !req
623. - Oh, shit.
- Here she comes. Smile.Copy !req
624. Where is she?Copy !req
625. Oh, my God. Oh, no!Copy !req
626. Okay. That didn't work.Copy !req
627. Shit your pants? So did I.Copy !req
628. Okay, this is her.
Start beating me up.Copy !req
629. Make it look good.Copy !req
630. Give me your wallet!Copy !req
631. Okay, haole, what do you think?
You can come to this island...Copy !req
632. - ... eat our pineapple—
- Help me! Not so hard.Copy !req
633. - Take it easy.
- Try to bang our women.Copy !req
634. Making my sister
clean your hotel room.Copy !req
635. Okay. What's that have to do
with this? Relax.Copy !req
636. - Hey! Hey! Help me, please!
- Stupid haole!Copy !req
637. Yeah, that's right. Take that!
And that! And that!Copy !req
638. And that! And that!Copy !req
639. You got him. You got him.
Enough. Enough.Copy !req
640. - Are you okay?
- Yes, yes—Copy !req
641. Okay, I'll be back.
Come here!Copy !req
642. No, no! I think he's had enough.Copy !req
643. I'm sorry.Copy !req
644. My eye!Copy !req
645. - You got him!
- Not good enough!Copy !req
646. Oh, Kamehameha!Copy !req
647. He learned his lesson!Copy !req
648. - What's your name?
- My name's Henry.Copy !req
649. - You did good.
- Hi. Sorry.Copy !req
650. I'm in a community-watch program—Copy !req
651. Oh, you crazy bitch!Copy !req
652. Yeah, keep running!Copy !req
653. Okay, okay, he's— He's gone now.Copy !req
654. Not her. False alarm.Copy !req
655. Don't worry, I called the cops already.
I'm all set.Copy !req
656. Yeah? You all set for this, Mr. Smarty?Copy !req
657. - Oh, shit.
- Yeah.Copy !req
658. When you're finished playing your
kidnap-victim crap on my daughter...Copy !req
659. come by the house.Copy !req
660. Okay.Copy !req
661. Oh, boy.Copy !req
662. There's something I wanna show you.Copy !req
663. We figured it out. She only sings
on days she meets you.Copy !req
664. You're kidding me. That song?Copy !req
665. That's Mom and Dad's song.Copy !req
666. When her mom was alive,
Lucy would have me take that tape...Copy !req
667. - ... on every fishing trip I went on.
- Oh, yeah?Copy !req
668. Yeah, she knew it would make me
miss her mom...Copy !req
669. and want to come home sooner.Copy !req
670. I'm seeing a new side to you, sir.
I gotta tell you, it's grossing me out.Copy !req
671. Let me ask you something.Copy !req
672. What's in it for you?
What do you get out of this?Copy !req
673. I don't know.Copy !req
674. Wouldn't you want to spend
an hour a day with that?Copy !req
675. Actually, no. She sings like shit.Copy !req
676. - What?
- Can I ask you guys something?Copy !req
677. What'll happen down the line?
Someday she'll wake up...Copy !req
678. look in the mirror and notice
she aged 10 years overnight.Copy !req
679. You know something, Henry?Copy !req
680. I worry about that
every damn day of my life.Copy !req
681. Pardon me.Copy !req
682. Sorry to interrupt, but I noticed we
were both eating alone...Copy !req
683. and I thought I could sit with you,
maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi...Copy !req
684. - ... for your waffle house?
- Oh, that would be nice...Copy !req
685. but I have a boyfriend.Copy !req
686. So I'm sorry.Copy !req
687. You're making up a boyfriend
to get rid of me?Copy !req
688. No, I'm not.Copy !req
689. What's his name, then?Copy !req
690. Ringo.Copy !req
691. Is his last name Starr?Copy !req
692. - No. McCartney.
- McCartney, okay.Copy !req
693. - Oh, no.
- All right. I'm sorry.Copy !req
694. No! This cop is writing me a ticket!Copy !req
695. Oh, whoa, whoa.
I wouldn't go out there.Copy !req
696. - Wait, wait, wait!
- Go on!Copy !req
697. I'm coming.Copy !req
698. The tags don't expire
for seven months.Copy !req
699. - They expired May of this year.
- No! No, no!Copy !req
700. They expire May of next year.Copy !req
701. I think there's been
a misunderstanding.Copy !req
702. - I don't.
- This is ridiculous.Copy !req
703. I'm not paying for this!
It's October!Copy !req
704. Excuse me. Can I borrow this?
Look, October!Copy !req
705. Lucy, let's go back inside.Copy !req
706. What?Copy !req
707. What?Copy !req
708. Having a bad day, Doug!Copy !req
709. Sweetheart...Copy !req
710. these are from the accident.Copy !req
711. Oh, no!Copy !req
712. I can feel it.Copy !req
713. You were in the hospital
for three months, sweetheart.Copy !req
714. I have to talk to this doctor.
I need to hear it from him.Copy !req
715. You have heard it, sweetie.
Many times.Copy !req
716. I have?Copy !req
717. I'll take her.Copy !req
718. I have to hear for myself too.Copy !req
719. Doug, just take this, okay?
I can't—Copy !req
720. I can't look at it anymore.Copy !req
721. - It's gonna be all right, Luce.
- Don't call me Luce. I barely know you.Copy !req
722. Sweetie, you're sort of dating him.Copy !req
723. Sorry I'm not better-looking.Copy !req
724. What else happened
since last October?Copy !req
725. - What about my students?
- Miss Campbell took over your class.Copy !req
726. - Did Alicia marry that guy?
- Yeah.Copy !req
727. Doug, did you win
the Mr. Hawaii contest?Copy !req
728. I didn't know there was gonna be
a urine test.Copy !req
729. Wow.Copy !req
730. Do we have sex?Copy !req
731. No, we don't.
Just so everybody knows that.Copy !req
732. We want to.Copy !req
733. Just kidding.Copy !req
734. So you guys have to just lie
to me every day.Copy !req
735. Hey, Lucy.
Good to see you again.Copy !req
736. What the hell's her problem?Copy !req
737. She doesn't remember
who you are, brah.Copy !req
738. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
739. I suck at this job.Copy !req
740. Lucy, these are your
brain scans here.Copy !req
741. I'm afraid they show
no improvement.Copy !req
742. The temporal lobe
was severely damaged.Copy !req
743. What we believe is scar tissue
here is impairing your ability...Copy !req
744. to convert short-term memory into
long-term memory while you sleep.Copy !req
745. The condition's come to be known
as Goldfield Syndrome.Copy !req
746. - Who's Goldfield?
- A brilliant Lithuanian psychiatrist.Copy !req
747. He himself suffered
temporal-lobe damage.Copy !req
748. Took him four years
to publish his findings...Copy !req
749. because he had to keep
starting over from scratch.Copy !req
750. Obviously, your sense of humor
is still intact, and that's here.Copy !req
751. Magnificent amygdala as well.Copy !req
752. - Doctor, I have a question.
- I'd be happy to answer it...Copy !req
753. but as I've told you before, this is a
hygienic facility. Shirts are required.Copy !req
754. - Oh, okay.
- Nice move.Copy !req
755. Listen, doctor, this...Copy !req
756. friend of mine's been experimenting
a little with steroids.Copy !req
757. He's been having a lot
of wet dreams.Copy !req
758. Could there be a connection
between them?Copy !req
759. Douglas, get off the juice.Copy !req
760. As for the nocturnal emissions,
why don't you take a swim...Copy !req
761. buy a shirt with no holes,
find a wahine and take her to dinner.Copy !req
762. I'll tell my friend you said so.Copy !req
763. In any case, Lucy,
your condition is stable...Copy !req
764. but most likely permanent.Copy !req
765. I'm so sorry, dear.Copy !req
766. But it could be worse.Copy !req
767. Yeah? How?Copy !req
768. I think you should meet
Ten Second Tom.Copy !req
769. Callahan Institute is the leading
brain-injury clinic in the Pacific Rim.Copy !req
770. We are funded out of Sandusky, Ohio
by T. B. Callahan...Copy !req
771. the automotive-components tycoon
and philanthropist.Copy !req
772. And now, I would like
to introduce to you...Copy !req
773. our most distinguished
clinical subject...Copy !req
774. Tom.Copy !req
775. - Hi. I'm Tom.
- Henry.Copy !req
776. - Marlin.
- Doug.Copy !req
777. - Lucy.
- Hi.Copy !req
778. Cool flip-flops.
Where'd you get them?Copy !req
779. You like those? It's interesting.
I was on the North Shore—Copy !req
780. Hi, I'm Tom.Copy !req
781. - Henry.
- Hi.Copy !req
782. - Marlin.
- Tom lost part of his brain...Copy !req
783. in a hunting accident.
His memory lasts 10 seconds.Copy !req
784. I was in an accident? That's terrible.Copy !req
785. Don't worry.
You'll get over it in seconds.Copy !req
786. Get over it? I mean, what happened?
Did I get shot in the brain—?Copy !req
787. - Hi, I'm Tom.
- Hi, I'm Lucy.Copy !req
788. - Hi.
- Doug.Copy !req
789. - Hey.
- Marlin.Copy !req
790. Hey, Tom, can I tell you a secret?Copy !req
791. Don't you think you're a little old
to still have wet dreams?Copy !req
792. - They liked that.
- Hi, I'm Tom.Copy !req
793. - Yeah, watch yourself, Tom.
- Easy.Copy !req
794. - I'm gonna go to sleep.
- All right. Good night.Copy !req
795. Good night, you guys.
I'll see you tomorrow.Copy !req
796. - And I guess I'll see you too?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
797. You had a rough day today.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
798. I hope you get some rest tonight.Copy !req
799. Okay.Copy !req
800. Good night.Copy !req
801. So how you getting home?Copy !req
802. - You gonna take the Likelike or—
- Hey.Copy !req
803. Thank you for being
so nice to me today.Copy !req
804. - Sure.
- I don't want you to...Copy !req
805. strike out tomorrow.Copy !req
806. So maybe you could talk
to me about...Copy !req
807. lilies.Copy !req
808. Lilies?Copy !req
809. I'm a sucker for lilies.Copy !req
810. Thanks for the tip.Copy !req
811. Good night.Copy !req
812. Good night.Copy !req
813. My, oh, my.Copy !req
814. - Lover-boy.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
815. You don't have to rush off.
Stick around.Copy !req
816. You've earned yourself
a couple beers.Copy !req
817. So what'll you do when
you finish the boat?Copy !req
818. Actually, I'm going on a trip soon...Copy !req
819. to study undersea
Pacific walrus behaviors.Copy !req
820. Sounds kind of fruity.Copy !req
821. - Thank you.
- How long is it gonna take?Copy !req
822. About a year.Copy !req
823. Guess you won't miss days like this.Copy !req
824. Well, maybe days like this
don't have to be so bad.Copy !req
825. What are you trying to say?Copy !req
826. When you guys tell her...Copy !req
827. she's not just finding out
about the accident.Copy !req
828. She's finding out that her life
is basically a setup.Copy !req
829. I think that freaks her out the most.Copy !req
830. - You're an expert now?
- No.Copy !req
831. I'm saying I wish there was
another way besides:Copy !req
832. "Sorry we couldn't trick you today.
Here's pictures of your broken head."Copy !req
833. - You want a broken head?
- You'll give him one?Copy !req
834. No, Daddy, I thought
you was gonna do it.Copy !req
835. Nobody's gotta break my head.
I'm gonna split anyways.Copy !req
836. Oh, don't go just because
my son is psychotic.Copy !req
837. Good night. Sweet dreams.
Keep them dry there, Doug.Copy !req
838. Very funny.Copy !req
839. - Excuse me. Lucy Whitmore?
- Yes?Copy !req
840. I have a delivery for you.Copy !req
841. - A delivery for me?
- Yes.Copy !req
842. Oh, they're beautiful.Copy !req
843. - Who are they from?
- That I can't tell you.Copy !req
844. It's a secret admirer.
He also wants you to have this.Copy !req
845. - Who's your friend, Lucy?
- Oh, well, I mean, I don't know.Copy !req
846. We just met, but look.Copy !req
847. I have a secret admirer.Copy !req
848. Oh, really? What's this?Copy !req
849. It's a videotape.Copy !req
850. A videotape of what?Copy !req
851. I have no idea.Copy !req
852. But I have to find out.Copy !req
853. Happy birthday, Daddy.Copy !req
854. - Thank you, sweetie.
- That's right. Happy birthday, sir.Copy !req
855. - What are you, 200 today?
- That's cute.Copy !req
856. - What are you doing?
- I wanted to try something different.Copy !req
857. If it doesn't work,
we've only wasted one day.Copy !req
858. Martha Stewart faced charges—Copy !req
859. Oh, God!Copy !req
860. Okay, I think it's on. Go. Go.Copy !req
861. Aloha! I'm Henry Roth.Copy !req
862. We met here at the Hukilau Café
about a year after your accident.Copy !req
863. I like you and you like me, most days.Copy !req
864. Every day is different, but basically
this is what happens, Lucy.Copy !req
865. Kikikoloko, take the camera.Copy !req
866. - I got it.
- Don't drop it.Copy !req
867. Okay, all right.
Here we are, right here.Copy !req
868. The part of you in this reenactment...Copy !req
869. will be played
by my good friend, Ula.Copy !req
870. Aloha. Sorry about your brain.Copy !req
871. I had a accident too.Copy !req
872. Believe it or not, this my good eye.Copy !req
873. - We ready?
- Yeah.Copy !req
874. Hi. I like that waffle teepee
that you have built.Copy !req
875. Oh! So nice of you to notice.
Please, sit down.Copy !req
876. I would love to.Copy !req
877. My name is Henry, by the way.Copy !req
878. My name is Lucy.Copy !req
879. Smell my fingers?Copy !req
880. Fish. Right on.Copy !req
881. So, Lucy, I work at an aquarium.Copy !req
882. Aquariums make me super horny.Copy !req
883. That's not funny.
Don't rub those.Copy !req
884. Sorry, Mr. Whitmore,
if you're watching.Copy !req
885. It's very late,
and my friend's unstable.Copy !req
886. Come on, stop with the licking!
You're making me sick.Copy !req
887. Lucy, I'm sorry.Copy !req
888. Anyways, I know you wish I was
making all this stuff up.Copy !req
889. I wish I was too.Copy !req
890. But the good news is...Copy !req
891. so many people out there
care about you:Copy !req
892. Your dad and Doug and a couple
of your friends here at the Hukilau...Copy !req
893. who have a message for you.Copy !req
894. Lucy, as you know,
your mother and I were best friends.Copy !req
895. That's why I promised her that
I would always help look after you.Copy !req
896. Sometimes life isn't very fair...Copy !req
897. but we still have you.Copy !req
898. Oh, and if you're wondering about
this guy who's making this tape...Copy !req
899. he's okay.Copy !req
900. Hey, Lucy. Just so you know,
since you lost your memory...Copy !req
901. I became governor of Hawaii.Copy !req
902. No, just kidding. I'm too smart.Copy !req
903. Kualaliku! Get your brother
off the dishwasher!Copy !req
904. So whenever you're ready,
we'd all love to talk to you...Copy !req
905. and answer any questions
you have...Copy !req
906. and you're the best, Lucy. Aloha.Copy !req
907. How many times
have I watched this?Copy !req
908. This is the first time.Copy !req
909. Okay, she cried for about an hour.
That's not too bad.Copy !req
910. I bet in another hour she'll be ready
to see her friends, have lunch...Copy !req
911. get her life back.Copy !req
912. We could do this every day.Copy !req
913. We'll leave it up to her.Copy !req
914. All right.Copy !req
915. So how's the cow?Copy !req
916. Same as you. Every day they
have to convince her she's a cow.Copy !req
917. Wow, look. The bark is healing.Copy !req
918. You're gonna get there.Copy !req
919. I never hung out with you
in the afternoon like this.Copy !req
920. In this lighting, man, oh, man,
you look...Copy !req
921. disgusting.Copy !req
922. Yeah.Copy !req
923. I don't know how you get me to fall for
that egg-shaped head every morning.Copy !req
924. All I have to do is slide on
my designer jeans...Copy !req
925. and just kind of wiggle
in front of you. You go nuts.Copy !req
926. Why couldn't I have met you one day
before the accident?Copy !req
927. Don't worry, because if you hung out
with me for more than one day...Copy !req
928. you'd realize I'm a bore.Copy !req
929. - Oh, well, I have news for you.
- Yes?Copy !req
930. It takes less than one day.Copy !req
931. You know something?
That hurt.Copy !req
932. Your damaged temporal lobe
is causing me pain...Copy !req
933. and I'm gonna get you for that.Copy !req
934. Now you're dead!Copy !req
935. - I can't believe you're pregnant.
- I know.Copy !req
936. - And I got her on the first try.
- Yeah. Easy.Copy !req
937. And, Tammy, you are so thin.Copy !req
938. Thanks, Luce.Copy !req
939. And I'm so glad you finally got...Copy !req
940. that gender-reassignment surgery,
Jennifer. I mean, Jonathan.Copy !req
941. Mahalo.Copy !req
942. - Here you go, Lucy.
- Thank you.Copy !req
943. - You're welcome.
- You must be Lucy's friend.Copy !req
944. - The one who made the tape.
- I think he's more than my friend.Copy !req
945. - You're my boyfriend, right?
- Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
946. So every day you help her
to realize what happened...Copy !req
947. and you wait patiently for her
to be okay with it...Copy !req
948. then get her to fall in love
with you again?Copy !req
949. Yes, ma'am.Copy !req
950. You asshole!Copy !req
951. You don't even open the fricking car
door for me anymore.Copy !req
952. You're in trouble.Copy !req
953. I gotta go tinkle.Copy !req
954. Okay, so tell me a little bit more
about yourself.Copy !req
955. Okay. Well, I've...Copy !req
956. won over seven all-you-can-eat
chicken-wing contests.Copy !req
957. - Really?
- Yes.Copy !req
958. And I'm a ballet dancer,
but only in my bathroom.Copy !req
959. No, what do you want to know?Copy !req
960. Do you love me?Copy !req
961. I didn't mean to put you on the spot.Copy !req
962. I was just asking more for
informational purposes.Copy !req
963. It's to keep the video as up-to-date
as possible.Copy !req
964. Sure.Copy !req
965. Well, love is a very loaded word.Copy !req
966. Let's see. I...Copy !req
967. I go to this restaurant every morning,
and I see you there, reading.Copy !req
968. And...Copy !req
969. I love you very much.Copy !req
970. Probably more than anybody could
love another person.Copy !req
971. And how do I feel about you?Copy !req
972. You're excited about
the chicken-wing thing.Copy !req
973. And...Copy !req
974. you've been dying to make out
with me for some time now.Copy !req
975. Feeling better now?Copy !req
976. Nothing beats a first kiss.Copy !req
977. There's nothing like a first kiss.Copy !req
978. Nothing beats a first kiss.Copy !req
979. That's what I've heard.Copy !req
980. Nothing beats a first—Copy !req
981. What are you doing?Copy !req
982. Nothing. I was just getting
some lint off for you.Copy !req
983. You were going for a feelski!Copy !req
984. All right, I'm sorry, but this is like the
23rd time we've made out already...Copy !req
985. and they're getting blue.Copy !req
986. I know. I know.Copy !req
987. I mean, I really don't know.Copy !req
988. For me, it still feels like the first time.Copy !req
989. Okay, let's average it out then.Copy !req
990. It's the 23rd time for me
and the first time for you.Copy !req
991. - That's about our 12th time.
- Yeah?Copy !req
992. Now, Hawaiian law clearly states
after the 12th date...Copy !req
993. I'm entitled to unlimited
boob access.Copy !req
994. Why didn't I meet you one day
before the accident?Copy !req
995. You say that all the time.Copy !req
996. You want to meet a friend of mine?Copy !req
997. All right.Copy !req
998. Jocko, this is Lucy.
Lucy, this is Jocko.Copy !req
999. Wow! Thank you. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
1000. He is awesome! He is so smart.Copy !req
1001. Check this out. Jocko, what does
the teapot do when the water's ready?Copy !req
1002. - Very good.
- Can I ask him a question?Copy !req
1003. Go ahead.Copy !req
1004. Jocko...Copy !req
1005. do you think that Henry and I
are ready to take our relationship...Copy !req
1006. to the next level?Copy !req
1007. You sure about that?Copy !req
1008. Do you think I should bring him
into the other room...Copy !req
1009. and take advantage of him?Copy !req
1010. I saw that hand gesture.Copy !req
1011. - And I'm glad you did it.
- Really?Copy !req
1012. - Use that.
- Oh, wow. Look!Copy !req
1013. - Yeah.
- They're—Copy !req
1014. They're nodding in approval, I hope.Copy !req
1015. They like you. Let me get them
out of there.Copy !req
1016. Mary-Kate, Ashley, get a life.
Thank you. Sorry.Copy !req
1017. - Oh, they're very nice, though.
- Yeah, so are you.Copy !req
1018. Let me get you down slow.Copy !req
1019. - Thank you.
- My pleasure.Copy !req
1020. All right, I just wrote this,
so go easy on me.Copy !req
1021. The Hukilau was the placeCopy !req
1022. Where I first saw your faceCopy !req
1023. We liked each other right awayCopy !req
1024. But you didn't remember me
The very next dayCopy !req
1025. Forgetful LucyCopy !req
1026. Has got a nice caboose-yCopy !req
1027. I used to trick you into pulling
Your car over so we could chatCopy !req
1028. But my favorite time was when you
Beat the shit out of Ula with a batCopy !req
1029. And we drove up to see Dr. KeatsCopy !req
1030. And found out why Doug always
Has to change his sheetsCopy !req
1031. Forgetful LucyCopy !req
1032. Cracked her head like Gary BuseyCopy !req
1033. But I still love her soCopy !req
1034. And I'll never let her goCopy !req
1035. Even if while I'm singing this songCopy !req
1036. She's wishing I had
Jocko the Walrus' schlongCopy !req
1037. Forgetful LucyCopy !req
1038. Her lips are so damn juicyCopy !req
1039. How about another first kissCopy !req
1040. Can't fall asleep.Copy !req
1041. I'm not sleeping.Copy !req
1042. I'm just closing my eyes.Copy !req
1043. Well, I'm gonna go downstairs then.Copy !req
1044. No, no. I'm just resting.Copy !req
1045. Lucy.Copy !req
1046. Yeah.Copy !req
1047. Will you marry me?Copy !req
1048. - Of course.
- Good.Copy !req
1049. Don't forget about me.Copy !req
1050. Never.Copy !req
1051. Good morning.Copy !req
1052. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1053. - Help! Help!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lucy.Copy !req
1054. Lucy! Lucy! Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
1055. I know this is hard for you
to understand...Copy !req
1056. but we are actually
seeing each other.Copy !req
1057. We have been for a while now.Copy !req
1058. Oh! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!Copy !req
1059. If I was lying,
how would I know this?Copy !req
1060. You're an art teacher and you go
to the Hukilau every Sunday...Copy !req
1061. and you make waffle houses
and you like Casablanca lilies.Copy !req
1062. - Stalker!
- No, don't you remember me a little?Copy !req
1063. I may not be able to kick your ass,
but my sister can.Copy !req
1064. Thanks, buddy.Copy !req
1065. Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up,
but she'll be okay.Copy !req
1066. She's watching the tape as we speak.Copy !req
1067. How's my temporal lobe
looking there, doc?Copy !req
1068. Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer
any short-term memory loss.Copy !req
1069. But was your head shaped like an egg
before she hit you?Copy !req
1070. Don't make fun of Henry.
It's not his fault it's shaped like that.Copy !req
1071. Note the intense overreaction.
That's the "roids" talking.Copy !req
1072. - Doug, once again, off the juice.
- It's not juice.Copy !req
1073. It's a protein shake.Copy !req
1074. Henry, the boys tell me you're setting
sail for Alaska to study walruses.Copy !req
1075. - When does that adventure begin?
- That actually began...Copy !req
1076. ten years ago. That's when I started
planning and building my boat.Copy !req
1077. All I know is, out of all mammals,
they have the second-largest penis.Copy !req
1078. I have the first.Copy !req
1079. That's my joke.Copy !req
1080. Did you tell Lucy about this trip?Copy !req
1081. Well...Copy !req
1082. actually, there's nothing to tell
because I decided not to go.Copy !req
1083. I mean, Lucy needs me here.Copy !req
1084. I'm just worried about
going away for a year...Copy !req
1085. and ruining all the progress
she's made.Copy !req
1086. I know you think I'm crazy...Copy !req
1087. but I think deep down inside...Copy !req
1088. - ... she's starting to remember me.
- No, Henry.Copy !req
1089. That's what you want to believe.
It's what we all want to believe.Copy !req
1090. But it's never gonna happen.Copy !req
1091. Okay. I gotta go to work.Copy !req
1092. Will you tell her I'll be back later
to pick her up?Copy !req
1093. See you, guys. Don't tell anyone
your sister beat me up.Copy !req
1094. He could go to the moon and back and
Lucy would never even know he left.Copy !req
1095. Sometimes I wish my wife
had Goldfield Syndrome.Copy !req
1096. That way she wouldn't remember
when I called her mother...Copy !req
1097. a loud, obnoxious drunk with a face
like J. Edgar Hoover's ass.Copy !req
1098. All right. There's your medicine,
little fellow.Copy !req
1099. Ula! Get back to cleaning the pool!Copy !req
1100. If that's one of your special brownies,
don't let any of the dolphins eat that.Copy !req
1101. How do you think I get them to
double flip and play with white kids?Copy !req
1102. Okay, Willie, that's it.Copy !req
1103. This time try to stay clean
for more than a day.Copy !req
1104. I made you a nice anchovy sundae.Copy !req
1105. Okay, enjoy that.Copy !req
1106. Henry?Copy !req
1107. - Hey!
- How's your head?Copy !req
1108. - Oh, it's fine. Don't worry.
- Good.Copy !req
1109. What brings your royal cuteness
out here?Copy !req
1110. I needed to see you.Copy !req
1111. Okay. What you got there?Copy !req
1112. It's my journal. I write in it every night.Copy !req
1113. - Oh, you don't like the video?
- No, I love it.Copy !req
1114. It's just sometimes when I watch it,
I feel like I'm being told about my life...Copy !req
1115. from someone else.
And when I read this...Copy !req
1116. it's like I'm telling myself.Copy !req
1117. When did you start this up?Copy !req
1118. Right after you gave me the video.Copy !req
1119. - Really?
- I was so nervous to come here...Copy !req
1120. and meet the guy that makes me
fall in love with him every day.Copy !req
1121. Well, you probably thought
I couldn't live up to the hype.Copy !req
1122. No. I was nervous because...Copy !req
1123. Because I came here
to break up with you.Copy !req
1124. You had plans and a life...Copy !req
1125. before you met me
and now all you have time for...Copy !req
1126. is to make me fall in love with you.Copy !req
1127. That's not all I do.
I gave a penguin a bath today.Copy !req
1128. Which I'll have to do again tomorrow.Copy !req
1129. I look at my dad and my brother's
lives and I won't do that to you.Copy !req
1130. What do you want me to do? Be some
chapter in your scrapbook and go?Copy !req
1131. No.Copy !req
1132. My plan is to erase you completely,
so it's as if you never existed.Copy !req
1133. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
1134. Because you have to understand
that there is no future with me.Copy !req
1135. Don't you want to have a career
and marriage and children?Copy !req
1136. I asked you to marry me. You said yes.Copy !req
1137. Kids? Yeah, I'd love to do it.Copy !req
1138. But how is that going to work?Copy !req
1139. I'm gonna wake up every morning with
an enormous belly and no memory...Copy !req
1140. of how it happened?Copy !req
1141. I have to make a new journal
that doesn't have you in it.Copy !req
1142. But before I do...Copy !req
1143. I really want you to read
what I wrote about you.Copy !req
1144. I will read about it tomorrow...Copy !req
1145. when you forget about all this
breaking up stuff, okay?Copy !req
1146. I'm not going to forget it.
I wrote it down. I won't let myself.Copy !req
1147. And I'm gonna do it whether
you want me to or not.Copy !req
1148. I'll be at my house.Copy !req
1149. Okay, type this one in there.Copy !req
1150. Saturday, November 25th.Copy !req
1151. I drove out to Callahan Institute today
and had a talk with Dr. Keats.Copy !req
1152. There's one about me.Copy !req
1153. He makes funny noises
when I kiss his neck.Copy !req
1154. I'm gonna miss that.Copy !req
1155. You sure you don't want me
to put that in?Copy !req
1156. - We can skip that one.
- No, let me read it.Copy !req
1157. We made love tonight! It didn't
last long, but it was incredible.Copy !req
1158. It's not all about how long you go. It's—
There was a connection, I thought.Copy !req
1159. Actually, let's just rip that out.Copy !req
1160. Well, that's that.Copy !req
1161. Henry, wait!Copy !req
1162. Could I have one last first kiss?Copy !req
1163. - I ain't gonna do this, Marlin.
- You have to, Henry.Copy !req
1164. I'm gonna miss you, but I gotta
get the hell off this island.Copy !req
1165. I'm sorry I can't take you...Copy !req
1166. but you've lived here so long you're
too big of a pansy to defend yourself.Copy !req
1167. I don't feel bad for you. I know you
got a thing going on with Candace.Copy !req
1168. Candace and Bernice?Copy !req
1169. Candace, Bernice and Rose?Copy !req
1170. Yeah. I fell for one chick and I'm losing
my mind. Good luck with that.Copy !req
1171. Okay, baby.Copy !req
1172. I love you.Copy !req
1173. Thanks, buddy.
Remember to use a condom.Copy !req
1174. Or in your case, a Hefty bag.Copy !req
1175. Well...Copy !req
1176. Okay, you guys. Thanks for coming
to say goodbye.Copy !req
1177. Be careful.Copy !req
1178. You make sure your father doesn't
get eaten by a shark.Copy !req
1179. Thank you, buddy.
What does that mean again?Copy !req
1180. Bring me back a T-shirt.Copy !req
1181. Oh, okay. You got it.Copy !req
1182. Come here. All right. Love you guys.Copy !req
1183. My shirt size is medium husky.Copy !req
1184. Hey! Kikikuloa!Copy !req
1185. No flippies off the dock!
You could get hurt!Copy !req
1186. No! All right. Let the master
show you how to get it done.Copy !req
1187. Now you kids go down there
and find my nuts.Copy !req
1188. Sure you don't want to take Doug?Copy !req
1189. Hey! What the heck
are you guys doing here?Copy !req
1190. I spoke to the harbormaster and he
said you were setting sail today...Copy !req
1191. so we thought we'd wish
you bon voyage.Copy !req
1192. This is from Nick and Sue.
They send their best wishes.Copy !req
1193. That's very nice.
Spam and Reese's. All right.Copy !req
1194. I love Spam and Reese's.
Can I have it?Copy !req
1195. I guess.Copy !req
1196. - Doug!
- That's all right.Copy !req
1197. - I'm sorry.
- So...Copy !req
1198. how's Lucy?Copy !req
1199. Actually, she's living at the institute.Copy !req
1200. - When did that happen?
- Three weeks ago.Copy !req
1201. Said she didn't want to be a burden to
me and Doug anymore. I don't know.Copy !req
1202. I couldn't talk her out of it.
You know what?Copy !req
1203. She's doing really great up there.Copy !req
1204. She's teaching an art class
and she gets to paint every day.Copy !req
1205. In fact, she's even singing again.Copy !req
1206. Hey, look, I got a little gift
for you too.Copy !req
1207. It's just a little something
from one sailor to another one.Copy !req
1208. You take care of yourself out there.Copy !req
1209. - I will.
- Okay.Copy !req
1210. Henry did not tell me about you.Copy !req
1211. Your fisherman muscles.Copy !req
1212. Can I touch?Copy !req
1213. Sure.Copy !req
1214. Yes.Copy !req
1215. The Beach Boys?Copy !req
1216. How nice of him to give me a CD
that will remind me...Copy !req
1217. of all the wonderful times
I shared with his daughter.Copy !req
1218. What an asshole!Copy !req
1219. Oh, why?Copy !req
1220. Why would you do this to me?Copy !req
1221. You sick bastard!Copy !req
1222. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1223. Is he trying to tell me something?Copy !req
1224. She only sings on days
she meets you.Copy !req
1225. She remembers me?Copy !req
1226. Holy shit!Copy !req
1227. She remembers me!Copy !req
1228. Julia, that looks great.Copy !req
1229. Excuse me. What am I doing?Copy !req
1230. You're painting a picture.
And you're doing an excellent job.Copy !req
1231. Oh.Copy !req
1232. Holy crap! I suck.Copy !req
1233. Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
1234. - Can we help you, sir?
- Yes. I have an appointment.Copy !req
1235. - What's your name?
- My name?Copy !req
1236. Dude, he forgot his name.
I feel bad for him.Copy !req
1237. Just go on up. And good luck
with that memory problem.Copy !req
1238. Yeah. Thank you.Copy !req
1239. What?Copy !req
1240. Lucy!Copy !req
1241. Lucy!Copy !req
1242. - Hi, I'm Tom.
- Hey, I met you before. I'm Henry.Copy !req
1243. Maybe you can help me.
I'm looking for Lucy Whitmore.Copy !req
1244. Any idea where I can find her?Copy !req
1245. Hi, I'm Tom.Copy !req
1246. Oh. Thanks anyways.Copy !req
1247. Lucy!Copy !req
1248. Lucy!Copy !req
1249. Lucy Whitmore...Copy !req
1250. can I ask you a question?Copy !req
1251. Do you have any idea who I am?Copy !req
1252. - No.
- No?Copy !req
1253. That sucks.Copy !req
1254. - What's your name?
- I'm Henry.Copy !req
1255. Henry.Copy !req
1256. I want to show you something.
Will you come with me?Copy !req
1257. Well, yeah.Copy !req
1258. Hey. Do you know who that guy is?Copy !req
1259. Dude, I don't even know who I am.Copy !req
1260. Oh, well, you're Pablo Picasso.Copy !req
1261. - Really?
- No. Not really.Copy !req
1262. This is my studio.Copy !req
1263. I don't know who you are, Henry...Copy !req
1264. but I dream about you
almost every night.Copy !req
1265. Why?Copy !req
1266. What would you say if I told you
that notebook you read every day...Copy !req
1267. used to have a lot of stuff
about me in it?Copy !req
1268. I would say that that
makes a lot of sense.Copy !req
1269. You erased me
from your memories...Copy !req
1270. because you thought you were
holding me back from having...Copy !req
1271. a full and happy life.Copy !req
1272. But you made a mistake.Copy !req
1273. Being with you is the only way
I could have a full and happy life.Copy !req
1274. You're the girl of my dreams...Copy !req
1275. and apparently I'm the man of yours.Copy !req
1276. Henry.Copy !req
1277. It's nice to meet you.Copy !req
1278. Lucy, it's nice to meet you too.Copy !req
1279. Hi, I'm Tom.Copy !req
1280. Henry, Lucy. Nice to meet you, Tom.Copy !req
1281. Now why don't you come back in
ten seconds so we can meet again?Copy !req
1282. Do you, Honah Lee, take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife...Copy !req
1283. to have and to hold
from this day forth...Copy !req
1284. as long as you both shall live?Copy !req
1285. - I do.
- Really?Copy !req
1286. Even though in, like, 10, 15 years...Copy !req
1287. she could possibly let herself
go and then, like...Copy !req
1288. sex could be, like,
nauseating for you?Copy !req
1289. What are you, nuts?
Your wife's right over there.Copy !req
1290. I'm just kidding, Muumuu!Copy !req
1291. I now pronounce you man and wife.Copy !req
1292. Mazel tov!Copy !req
1293. It's very cold, so when you're ready...Copy !req
1294. put on a jacket and come have
breakfast with me. Love you.Copy !req
1295. Hey, hey! Good morning, Mrs. Roth.
Would you like to meet your daughter?Copy !req
1296. Go say hello to Mommy.Copy !req
1297. Hi, Mommy.Copy !req
1298. That's right.Copy !req
1299. Good morning.Copy !req
1300. Oh, my goodness!Copy !req
1301. - Grandpa's here.
- Hi, Dad.Copy !req