Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man 1x3

1. I'm offering you an exclusive internship, Peter.

2. I just gotta say, gross.

3. You're seriously gonna work for Norman Osborn?

4. Hey, Parker!

5. Lonnie's actually pretty cool. Seems like a nice guy.

6. He's got muscles. Popularity. Pearl...

7. Gotcha!

8. - Are you okay? - Holy crap! You saved my life!

9. We got invited to a party. I don't wanna go without you.

10. Text me the address. I'll be there.

11. Oh, I'm going to exterminate you.

12. Well, what do we have here?

13. Guess you got busy.

14. I'm bailing on this party. Talk to you later.

15. Mr. Osborn wants a word with you.

16. So...

17. You're Spider-Man.

18. So, you're Spider-Man.

19. We'll talk more soon, but your secret is safe with me.

20. So...

21. You're Spider-Man.

22. So...

23. You're Spider-Man.

24. So...

25. You're Spider-Man.

26. So, you're Spider-Man.

27. What?

28. I said you're dead, dude. You lost.

29. Yeah. Good game.

30. Thanks. I really am great.

31. Anyway, what happened to you last night?

32. You left me hanging at that jock festival.

33. Oh, right. The party.

34. - Y... Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Nico. - You should be.

35. I had to have a conversation with someone named "Sweaty Mike"

36. about how lo-fi music is timeless.

37. I hope your Oscorp thing was better, but only slightly.

38. It was... surprising.

39. Ya know, if you need help getting out, hit me up.

40. I have so many suggestions on how to burn bridges.

41. Quit? N... No way. Why would I quit?

42. Everything is going fine. Better than fine really.

43. Like, uh, super... fine.

44. Sure. If you say so, Pete.

45. Sounds like you need to de-stress.

46. Ooh, ooh! This arthouse theater is doing a kung-fu movie marathon tonight

47. - if you wanna check it out. - Really?

48. Wait. Sorry, I can't.

49. Mr. Osborn wanted to meet with me for dinner tonight.

50. Says he wants to "pick my brain."

51. I assume you mean that literally.

52. I don't think so.

53. Hey, Nico, do you mind—

54. Oh, hey, Peter.

55. Hi, Ms. O'Hara.

56. Nico, it looks like one of your foster brothers

57. made a bit of a mess in the kitchen.

58. - Uh, could you give me a hand real quick? - Sure, Susan.

59. Well, keep your guard up, Pete.

60. Those big CEO types are always trying to take advantage of the little guy.

61. There's nothin' to worry about. Everything is fine.

62. You're just meeting up with Norman Osborn

63. to discuss the fact that he knows you're...

64. Spider-Man.

65. This is totally, perfectly, incredibly fine.

66. Whoa.

67. So glad you could make it.

68. I trust you had no trouble finding the place.

69. I may have gotten turned around a bit.

70. Sorry for being late,

71. but it looks like I beat everyone else here.

72. Yeah, well, I wanted our conversation to be a bit more private,

73. so I took the liberty of renting out the entire restaurant.

74. Ah, yes, Mr. Osborn.

75. What can I get for you and your associate?

76. Peter?

77. Oh. Could I please get... Whoa!

78. I mean, I will have a glass of water, please.

79. No, everything is on me, Peter.

80. Please help yourself.

81. Mr. Osborn, that's so kind, but really, I couldn't.

82. No, I insist.

83. Well, if you insist.

84. Well, I must admit, your appetite is extremely impressive.

85. I'd ask where you're putting all that food,

86. but I imagine you burn quite a lot of energy during your...

87. part-time job.

88. Look, Mr. Osborn.

89. I know what you think you saw on that video yesterday,

90. but after giving it some thought,

91. I can only conclude that

92. it's someone on your security team playing a prank on you.

93. A prank...

94. by my security team?

95. Yeah. That's gotta be it.

96. Hmm. That... is interesting.

97. Namely because the camera that captured that footage

98. was one of my own personal security cameras.

99. Monitored by me and only me.

100. Meaning no one other than me has access to it.

101. That's why it's such a good prank.

102. Come on, Peter.

103. You'd have been better off just saying you were friends with Spider-Man.

104. Okay, you're right.

105. I... am... Spider-Man.

106. Just, please don't tell my Aunt May!

107. She's under enough stress. She doesn't need to know about this.

108. Look at you.

109. Even when someone knows your secret,

110. your biggest concern is the well-being of someone else.

111. You're just as remarkable as the things I've seen you do as your alter ego.

112. Whether it's stopping a petty theft here and there,

113. or saving a bus full of passengers from a runaway vehicle...

114. - Mr. Osborn, I... I don't— - Peter, do you remember this?

115. I... do.

116. Yeah, a few weeks ago I stopped some muggers from robbing that guy.

117. You also swung out of nowhere

118. and saved that boy from getting hit by a truck.

119. - Do you remember that? - Yeah.

120. That boy you saved is my son, Harry.

121. From that day,

122. I vowed I would find Spider-Man and repay him for saving Harry's life.

123. It only took a moment of looking past that homemade suit

124. to see the genius of his webbing.

125. Fluid, yet durable.

126. The firing mechanisms on his wrists.

127. So, the question became,

128. who created these things?

129. Most of the greatest scientific minds are already working at Oscorp,

130. but after checking the usual suspects, I realized the person wasn't among us.

131. That meant they must be younger.

132. Soon enough, I'd narrowed it down to four brilliant minds.

133. Amadeus, Asha, Jeanne,

134. and you, Peter.

135. I theorized that one of you could be assisting Spider-Man,

136. so I started the Oscorp Internship to keep an eye on each of you.

137. And...

138. imagine my surprise when I discovered you aren't just assisting him,

139. you actually are Spider-Man.

140. So, the only question now, Peter, is, "What do you need?"

141. Uh... I'm sorry?

142. What do you need? What can I do to make your life easier?

143. As I mentioned, your webbing is incredible,

144. but the rest of your attire could definitely use an upgrade.

145. Night vision for your lenses?

146. Mild electric shock in the suit to ward off attackers?

147. Police scanner wired into the mask?

148. I actually already have a scanner wired into the mask.

149. Of course, you do Of course, you do.

150. You're an extremely clever young man, Peter.

151. Well, that's just the tip of the iceberg.

152. I'm thinking we get you a suit with a bit more durable fabric,

153. including an extensive GPS system, could be more helpful.

154. Am I right? I'm right.

155. Okay, maybe we add a drone? Is that too much?

156. Yeah, a drone— Yeah, a bit too much.

157. - I'm getting ahead of myself. - Mr. Osborn,

158. I really appreciate you wanting to help me, sincerely,

159. but I need to do this alone.

160. The day I got these powers, I wasn't sure why.

161. You know, why me? Why not someone else?

162. Someone that could've been the next Captain America,

163. instead of some kid from Queens,

164. but now I truly believe that I have these powers to help people,

165. to protect them as Spider-Man.

166. And if that means endangering myself, I'm okay with that,

167. but you helping me could put you, or the nice people at Oscorp in danger.

168. You offered me an internship because you wanted to find Spider-Man,

169. but maybe it's safer if neither Spider-Man or Peter Parker are working with Oscorp.

170. Peter, I can assure you that I can take care of myself,

171. but I respect your concern.

172. I'll also respect your wishes,

173. while promising you that your secret will stay between us.

174. That said, I do hope that you'll reconsider staying on at Oscorp.

175. You're obviously more than qualified, and we're lucky to have you.

176. Regardless of what Spider-Man does,

177. Peter Parker has a bright future ahead of him.

178. But if you do decide to back out of the internship,

179. I'll completely understand.

180. At the very least, I'd like to accommodate you for your first day.

181. Mr. Osborn, you don't have to do that.

182. It's already done. It's the least I can do.

183. Thank you again, Peter,

184. on behalf of me and my son.

185. James, where is this fool?

186. No idea.

187. We're definitely in the right place, though.

188. Ooh, ooh! What'd he say? What'd he say?

189. He says to put the money in the dumpster.

190. There's nothing in here but garbage. Let me see that phone.

191. Look, it says to put the money in the trash.

192. W... What do we have to lose?

193. I don't know, James, maybe several thousand dollars?

194. Dios mío, why are the cute ones always so dumb?

195. Maria, this guy is supposed to be legit.

196. If he's half as good as I've heard, we'll make that money back in no time...

197. and if he's not, we'll kick his ass and take our money back.

198. If you say so.

199. What the hell?

200. "Pleasure doing business with you."

201. Muah! You're a genius, baby!

202. - May, I'm home! - Oh, hey, Peter.

203. Mr. Osborn told me to take the leftovers.

204. I don't know if you've ever had scallops, but they are pretty good.

205. What's with all the boxes?

206. Just clearing out some closet space.

207. Figured I might as well go through this stuff

208. and sell a few things we don't need online.

209. You're sellin' this stuff?

210. I'm sure we can get a few bucks for it.

211. I mean, that sewing machine is basically new.

212. I think you're the only one who ever used it for your, um...

213. - What was it again? - Uh, home... economics project.

214. That's, uh... That's why I needed it.

215. Nothin' out of the ordinary or... anything.

216. Yeah, right. That was it. Huh.

217. I'll list it as "Like new."

218. Well, I guess that's my point, May.

219. I mean, most of this stuff is either new or, well, it belonged to Ben.

220. You know, I thought it would be hard, Peter, but it's... it's okay.

221. I mean, sometimes things just gotta get done,

222. whether you want to do 'em or not.

223. Okay, well, let's see what else I got hiding back there. Huh?

224. I can't believe you're gonna tell Mr. CEO Billionaire,

225. Norman Moneybags Osborn, to take his job and shove it.

226. Okay, I didn't say any of that.

227. I'm not telling Mr. Osborn to "shove it," and I'm not even sure I should quit.

228. Pete, I completely understand staying there to help your aunt,

229. but I should say,

230. if May knew the only reason you're staying at Oscorp was because of her...

231. She'd tell me to quit. I know.

232. That's why this is so difficult.

233. Yo, Peter, Nico, over here!

234. I brought my lunch. You go ahead. I'll grab us a table.

235. - Hey, Petey. - Hey, Pearl. Hey, Lonnie.

236. My man, Peter Parker. Your lunch is on me today, bro.

237. What? Uh...

238. Thank you, but there— there's no need to do that.

239. No, man, I got you.

240. I just found out from Mr. Taylor that we aced our first lab experiment.

241. - No way! Really? - Really.

242. Lonnie's been bragging about it for the last hour.

243. It's a big deal!

244. The first of many A pluses for the Lincoln-Parker dream team.

245. Well, I'm happy that we got such a great grade,

246. but come on, you did more than your fair share of the work.

247. Yeah, but let me treat you.

248. It's a huge week for us.

249. The Ravens dominated the Gibbons,

250. we're killing it in Mr. Taylor's class,

251. Pearl is gonna break, like, 30 records at her Swim Meet today...

252. and you just started your internship.

253. You should probably just give in and let him buy your lunch, Petey.

254. All right, you win. But I am payin' next time.

255. You drive a hard bargain, but I'll agree to that.

256. Oh, they're with me.

257. - Pearl, you and Peter go grab seats. - Thanks, Lon.

258. Thanks, Lonnie.

259. Declined.

260. Oh, right. I, uh... I forgot I chipped in on pizza after the game.

261. Oh. Um...

262. What if I just got this?

263. Lonnie, where's your lunch?

264. You know better than to eat light on training days.

265. If you want half of my sandwich, Lonnie, go for it.

266. You technically own it.

267. Thanks, Peter, but I'm cool.

268. Ooh. One sec.

269. Hey, Ma, what's up?

270. Wait, s... slow down. Take a deep breath.

271. So, how's your internship going?

272. I bet you've already impressed them and earned a full-time job.

273. No, it's kind of complicated. I mean—

274. Hey, Pearl, uh, c... could you please give me a ride home?

275. Oh. Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?

276. I'll explain on the way. Thanks.

277. I'll, uh... I'll talk to you later, Petey.

278. Don't mind if I do.

279. What?

280. - I'm like... - Ugh.

281. 93% sure they're not coming back.

282. We're almost there, Lon.

283. Thank you again, Pearl. I mean it.

284. It's okay.

285. I've never been to your house before.

286. I didn't realize you stayed so far from school.

287. Yeah.

288. This isn't how I wanted you to come over for the first time.

289. Thank you, Pearl.

290. You don't know how much I appreciate this. I... I'll call you later.

291. I wanna make sure that we have the correct—

292. - Dad, is everything okay? - Hey, Lon.

293. Go sit with your mom for a bit.

294. Hey, Mom, where's Dre?

295. In his room.

296. And he'll be lucky if he ever leaves it again.

297. So, what happened?

298. I was getting ready to go to the Laundromat,

299. but when I open the front door, I find a cop walking up with your brother.

300. He tells me Andre was vandalizing a building with some hoodlums,

301. calling themselves the Hundred and Tenth Street Gang.

302. - What? - A gang!

303. Since when is Dre hangin' out with a gang?

304. That's what I'd like to know.

305. Lonnie, when I opened the door and saw that police officer,

306. my heart dropped,

307. and when I saw Andre standing next to him, I—

308. I didn't know whether to be relieved

309. or more afraid.

310. Dre! Yo, Dre!

311. Damn!

312. As requested, I present the most valuable rings in our collection.

313. When it comes to love, I believe you should spare no expense.

314. Oh, yeah. We couldn't agree more.

315. Isn't that right, honey?

316. Yeah. In fact, we might just take 'em all.

317. This is pretty cool.

318. I bet Uncle Ben would flip

319. if he knew I was gettin' pics on his camera

320. from all the way up here.

321. Uh-oh.

322. Backup at jewelry store on Lexington Avenue.

323. Repeat. Two suspects armed and dangerous.

324. Okay, Spidey, no time to waste.

325. That's the problem with you guys...

326. You never know when to quit.

327. Aw, look at you two finishing each other's sentences.

328. It'd be cute if you weren't violently attacking people.

329. I'll tell you what, you guys surrender peacefully,

330. and I will ask the cops to give you adjoining cells. Deal?

331. I'll have you out in a sec, babe.

332. Yeah, sorry, miss, but you can't tear those webs.

333. Holy—

334. Are you one of those CrossFit people?

335. I'm gonna rip him apart.

336. Don't take too long. We got other places to hit.

337. I hear ya.

338. Try that little web trick again, now that I'm ready for ya.

339. Well, since you asked so nicely...

340. What the—

341. - Hey! - Oh, sorry!

342. Eyes on me, Bug Boy!

343. You brought a knife to a web fight?

344. That's— Well, that's actually really smart.

345. I probably should have prepared for something like that.

346. You guys are totally, like, couple goals.

347. What dating app did you meet on? Burglr?

348. Time out!

349. Okay, time in!

350. Oh, no!

351. That was close.

352. Gotcha!

353. - You're dead! - Huh?

354. What's the matter, Bug Boy?

355. Yeah, where's all the jokes now?

356. Andre! What the hell are you thinkin'?

357. Yo, calm down, Lonnie.

358. Are you kidding me?

359. You got Mom at home worried sick, and you're telling me to calm down?

360. You're lucky I'm not dragging you out by your neck.

361. Man, how'd you even find me?

362. Uh, you're on a family plan, genius. I can track your phone.

363. - Now come on! - Seriously? A family plan?

364. Go home, junior.

365. All right, man. Damn.

366. Hey, we're leavin'. We don't want any problems.

367. Neither do we.

368. But it looks like we got one.

369. I mean, you so rudely walked into my establishment

370. without so much as an introduction,

371. but I'm a gracious host, so I'll start things off.

372. I'm Big Donovan.

373. Leader of the One Hundred and Tenth street gang.

374. - Lonnie. Lonnie Linc— - Oh, I know damn well who you are, kid.

375. You're the talk of Harlem, see.

376. You're NFL bound. Hell.

377. I've made a couple stacks off of the Ravens myself, Lincoln.

378. Yeah, but despite me knowing who you are,

379. I'm not gonna let you walk outta here with one of my people.

380. This isn't one of your people.

381. That's my little brother, and he's not stayin' here.

382. See, now that's where you wrong.

383. Dre came to us.

384. He's our little brother now,

385. and nobody leaves this family.

386. Well, not the way they'd like to.

387. Look, man, he already got picked up by the cops once.

388. He's no good for you.

389. We don't have to make a thing out of this.

390. Sorry, Superstar. It's not that easy.

391. Fine.

392. Me for my brother.

393. - Lonnie. - I join your group and do what you want.

394. You leave my brother alone.

395. Hmm. All right. Can't lie. It's a hell of a trade up.

396. Lonnie, that's... that's crazy. Okay?

397. - Mom and Dad are gonna flip out if— - Hey, kid.

398. The grown-ups are talking. How about you go on home?

399. I'm not goin' anywhere without my brother—

400. You heard him, Dre.

401. Go home.

402. Hospital, please.

403. So much for Bug Boy.

404. Shields up!

405. Hold the line!

406. Surrender! You have nowhere to go!

407. Yeah? We'll see about that.

408. - You ready to finish this, babe? - Oh, yeah.

409. Keep shooting!

410. Huh?

411. Fall back!

412. Spider-Man!

413. Spider-Man, can you hear me?

414. Hello?

415. God?

416. It's me. Spidey.

417. Spider-Man, it's Norman.

418. Mr. Osborn, how— Where are you?

419. I'm in my office.

420. I saw a stream online of your current predicament,

421. - and I figured I could help. - Well, uh, thanks. But why can I hear you?

422. I used one of the Oscorp communication satellites

423. to hack into your phone and scanner.

424. Oh.

425. Well, that's kind of creepy, but, uh...

426. We'll discuss it later.

427. Now, I've noticed that your opponents are giving one another a wide berth.

428. - Strange, right? - Yeah,

429. it is a little weird considering all the PDA.

430. That means the tech they're using must be new.

431. They aren't fully used to it.

432. Which means they're liable to make mistakes.

433. The speed boots.

434. Nothing can go that fast without some kind of signal when it goes into overdrive.

435. Try listening out for that, Peter.

436. Right. Can do, Mr. Osborn.

437. Okay! Spider-Man versus Bonnie and Clyde.

438. Round two.

439. Oh. Ding-ding.

440. Now!

441. Huh?

442. I dodged him!

443. Wow. Hey, buddy, you call that fast?

444. You know, my old Spider-Granny

445. can run faster than you!

446. Oh, crap.

447. Ah, will you just kill him already?

448. Please work. Please work. Please work. Please work!

449. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

450. Come on—

451. - You should've just— - What are you doing?

452. - You gotta turn your gear off. - Ah!

453. - I can't reach the button. - Are you serious?

454. Don't yell at me! This is your fault!

455. Huh? Wow.

456. Oops.

457. My mother was right about you.

458. - Freeze! - Don't move!

459. Suspects apprehended. Got 'em.

460. - We need crowd control! - Huh.

461. That's the same symbol I saw on old hothead's flamethrowers.

462. - Thanks for your help there! - Oh, my Go— Oh!

463. What are you doing up there?

464. - Don't scare me like that. Jeez. - Oh, my gosh.

465. Mr. Osborn, sorry.

466. I didn't mean to—

467. Yeah. Now that I think about it, that was pretty dumb.

468. Are you okay?

469. Yes. Yes. I'm fine.

470. And I was happy to help you.

471. Uh, between us, it looks as if you needed it.

472. I mean, I would have figured it out eventually.

473. It's, you know— Okay.

474. No, I definitely needed the help.

475. Um, actually, I've been thinking over your offer, Mr. Osborn.

476. If tonight proved anything, it's that maybe...

477. I do need someone in my corner.

478. Well, I'd be happy to offer you any help you need,

479. but, of course, I respect your wishes, and it's your choice to make.

480. Yeah, and I've made my choice.

481. Welcome to the team, Mr. Osborn.

482. Welcome to the One Ten, Lonnie Lincoln.

483. Mm-hmm.