1. Previously on Young Sheldon...Copy !req
2. Hi, Pastor Jeff,
can you come over right now?Copy !req
3. I need you to save
someone's soul.Copy !req
4. Amen.Copy !req
5. In your face, Catholics.Copy !req
6. I baptize you in the
name of the FatherCopy !req
7. and the SonCopy !req
8. and the Holy Spirit, amen.Copy !req
9. Amen.Copy !req
10. You know, I'm not a lawyer,Copy !req
11. but you could make the argument
that my childCopy !req
12. was kidnapped twice.Copy !req
13. Well, there have to be
consequences.Copy !req
14. How do you feel about
coming down to City HallCopy !req
15. to witness me and Georgie
get married?Copy !req
16. What about your parents?Copy !req
17. We're really not gonna invite
our folks?Copy !req
18. A spite wedding.
I had one of those.Copy !req
19. Let me get my purse.Copy !req
20. Hey, little girl.Copy !req
21. In a few minutes,
you're gonna be legitimate.Copy !req
22. You saying she's illegitimate?Copy !req
23. Not me, just,
you know, everybody.Copy !req
24. If you want to smack him,
I'll hold the baby.Copy !req
25. Nah, it's okay.Copy !req
26. Well, just in case.Copy !req
27. Wait!Copy !req
28. - Wait!
- What are they doing here?Copy !req
29. I told them,Copy !req
30. and you can't smack me
'cause I'm holding the baby.Copy !req
31. Did we miss it?Copy !req
32. No, we're still waiting.Copy !req
33. I told you we
didn't need to run.Copy !req
34. I know you're mad at me,Copy !req
35. and I am sorry,
but can we pleaseCopy !req
36. be a part of this wedding?Copy !req
37. Yes, please.
I only have one brother.Copy !req
38. What about Sheldon?Copy !req
39. Yeah.Copy !req
40. Fine.Copy !req
41. Oh.Copy !req
42. Cooper-McAllister?Copy !req
43. - Right here.
- You're up.Copy !req
44. Wait!Copy !req
45. Wait.Copy !req
46. Wasn't me.Copy !req
47. It was me. I called your dad.Copy !req
48. Oh, that's a long hallway.Copy !req
49. And those steps in front?Copy !req
50. Brutal.Copy !req
51. Please,Copy !req
52. let us be part of this.Copy !req
53. What do you think?Copy !req
54. Oh, I think we're
thinking the same thing.Copy !req
55. You can stay.Copy !req
56. Come on.Copy !req
57. Are you gonna be okay?Copy !req
58. Yeah, yeah. Maybe.Copy !req
59. Aww.Copy !req
60. What's wrong?Copy !req
61. No, it's just, I wanted
to walk you down the aisle,Copy !req
62. but there's no aisle.Copy !req
63. Um, hang on.Copy !req
64. Come on.Copy !req
65. - Thank you.
- Take care of my little girl.Copy !req
66. - Yes, sir.
- All right.Copy !req
67. All right. Let's get started.Copy !req
68. Could you show a little respect
and stand up?Copy !req
69. One of those.Copy !req
70. George Marshall Cooper Jr.,Copy !req
71. do you takeCopy !req
72. Amanda Elizabeth
McAllisterCopy !req
73. to be your lawfully wedded wife?Copy !req
74. I do.Copy !req
75. Amanda Elizabeth
McAllister,Copy !req
76. do you take George Marshall
Cooper Jr.Copy !req
77. to be your lawfully wedded
husband?Copy !req
78. I do.Copy !req
79. By the power
vested in meCopy !req
80. by the great state of Texas,Copy !req
81. I now pronounce you
husband and wife.Copy !req
82. You may kiss the bride.Copy !req
83. You can sit down now.Copy !req
84. I can't believe they
gave us the train car.Copy !req
85. Well, my dad slipped
the conductor five bucks.Copy !req
86. Classy.Copy !req
87. So, what are you thinking?Copy !req
88. Couple buckets of spaghetti
for the table?Copy !req
89. Sure. Y-Yeah— and we're
gonna split the tab.Copy !req
90. It's all right, I got it.Copy !req
91. Uh, Jim, come on.Copy !req
92. We didn't pay for a wedding,Copy !req
93. we can spring
for some spaghetti.Copy !req
94. I-In a bucket.Copy !req
95. We know.Copy !req
96. I-I'm happy to chip in.Copy !req
97. No, no. No, this is
between me and him.Copy !req
98. And we're splitting it.Copy !req
99. Dad, we're poor. Let him pay.Copy !req
100. We are not poor.Copy !req
101. Wouldn't matter either way.Copy !req
102. But we're not.Copy !req
103. I would like to propose
a toast...Copy !req
104. to Mandy and Georgie.Copy !req
105. Your relationship started outCopy !req
106. with lies and deceit,Copy !req
107. which usually happensCopy !req
108. later on in marriage.Copy !req
109. Where is this going?Copy !req
110. But you two got it
out of the wayCopy !req
111. right up front.Copy !req
112. So I think the odds
are in your favor...Copy !req
113. for having a lifetime
of love and happiness.Copy !req
114. To MandyCopy !req
115. and Georgie...Copy !req
116. and CeeCee.Copy !req
117. Way to bring it home, baby.Copy !req
118. I can do heartfelt.Copy !req
119. Hello.Copy !req
120. Oh, good, you're here.Copy !req
121. Oh, thank you for bringing him,
Dr. Linkletter.Copy !req
122. Well, you hungry? Have a seat.Copy !req
123. Well, I do have a half can
of tuna waiting for me at home,Copy !req
124. but what the hay?Copy !req
125. So, you and my brother got
married and no one invited me?Copy !req
126. Sorry, it was kind of
a last-minute thing.Copy !req
127. No, I was thanking you.
I hope that, someday,Copy !req
128. my sister won't invite me
to her wedding.Copy !req
129. I won't.
Thank you.Copy !req
130. Here we are.Copy !req
131. Grab a shovel and dig in.Copy !req
132. There you go.Copy !req
133. I spent the summer
in Italy once.Copy !req
134. Bringing back memories?Copy !req
135. No.Copy !req
136. Amanda,Copy !req
137. Georgie,Copy !req
138. since your father and ICopy !req
139. didn't get to give
you a proper wedding,Copy !req
140. we'd like to pay
for a honeymoon.Copy !req
141. Wow, really?Copy !req
142. Should we offer to split...?Copy !req
143. Mr. McAllister,
really appreciate it,Copy !req
144. but that's not necessary.Copy !req
145. First of all, no more of this
"Mr. McAllister" stuff, okay?Copy !req
146. It's Jim.Copy !req
147. Thank you, Jim.Copy !req
148. Uh, very kind, Jim.Copy !req
149. This feels weird, Jim.Copy !req
150. So, where are we going?Copy !req
151. What would you say
to an all-expenses-paid weekendCopy !req
152. at Dollywood?Copy !req
153. Shut up.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
154. Thank you.Copy !req
155. That's amazing.Copy !req
156. Oh, I'm definitely
getting married.Copy !req
157. And I won't be going.Copy !req
158. Oh, and I can watch the baby.Copy !req
159. Or me, the one who just
paid for your honeymoon.Copy !req
160. You two are on probation.Copy !req
161. I don't want to come home and
find out there was an exorcism.Copy !req
162. Connie, will you do it?Copy !req
163. I would love to.Copy !req
164. Wait a minute, it's my house.
Don't I have a say?Copy !req
165. No.Copy !req
166. I don't have a say.Copy !req
167. I got to go open up
the gambling room.Copy !req
168. Can you watch her
for about an hour?Copy !req
169. I just had coffee
and a bowl of Raisin Bran.Copy !req
170. Next hour is spoken for.Copy !req
171. You could've just said no.Copy !req
172. I'm trying to keep
the romance alive.Copy !req
173. Hey, why don't we look around
for wedding rings in Tennessee?Copy !req
174. Hmm.Copy !req
175. Maybe they sell them
at Dollywood.Copy !req
176. If it's all the same,Copy !req
177. I'd rather not
get my wedding ringCopy !req
178. at the same place
they sell corn dogs.Copy !req
179. Oh, corn dogs.Copy !req
180. We're definitely
getting corn dogs.Copy !req
181. You know, through all the rush,
we didn't really talk about it,Copy !req
182. but are you gonna take my name?Copy !req
183. Is it important to you?Copy !req
184. I don't know, I'd kind of like
people to know we're a family.Copy !req
185. You know, the Coopers,
Georgie and Mandy Cooper.Copy !req
186. I'd go to a barbecue
at their house.Copy !req
187. Well, why don't you take
my name?Copy !req
188. I'm trying to have
a serious conversation,Copy !req
189. and you're making jokes.Copy !req
190. Why is it a joke?Copy !req
191. Maybe that'd fly
in New York City,Copy !req
192. but in Texas,
I'd get my ass kicked.Copy !req
193. Maybe we should move
to New York City.Copy !req
194. Okay, there's just some
things you don't joke about.Copy !req
195. And the thing you need to know
about slot machinesCopy !req
196. is that they provide the houseCopy !req
197. with a 17% edge.Copy !req
198. And that...Copy !req
199. is a whole lot of edge
for Meemaw and your daddy.Copy !req
200. Huh?Copy !req
201. Ooh, that ain't good.Copy !req
202. - Excuse me.
- I don't work here!Copy !req
203. Connie Tucker?Copy !req
204. Please stop running.Copy !req
205. Peekaboo.Copy !req
206. Oh, yeah, that's funny.Copy !req
207. Peekaboo.Copy !req
208. Hey.Copy !req
209. Took you long enough.Copy !req
210. Yeah, I'm old.
I had to go to the bathroom.Copy !req
211. Why are you handcuffed?
Why is she handcuffed?Copy !req
212. She's a flight risk.Copy !req
213. What is she talking about?Copy !req
214. I was just taking the baby
for a walk,Copy !req
215. and Cagney and Lacey hereCopy !req
216. decided that I was
evading arrest.Copy !req
217. Oh, Connie.Copy !req
218. H-How much is bail?Copy !req
219. Won't know till Monday.Copy !req
220. - What?
- Judge left town for the weekend.Copy !req
221. Well, get him back.Copy !req
222. Can't. Gone fishing.Copy !req
223. Beautiful day for it.
Where'd he go?Copy !req
224. - Dale.
- Right.Copy !req
225. You mean I got to sit here
till Monday?Copy !req
226. Well, you'll be back in a cell.Copy !req
227. Where all the bad people go.Copy !req
228. Oh, my God.Copy !req
229. Dale, take the baby home.Copy !req
230. Me? Why don't you call Mary?Copy !req
231. The last thing I want
is for her to know about this.Copy !req
232. I'll watch the baby if you like.Copy !req
233. There you go, problem solved.Copy !req
234. No. Take the baby.Copy !req
235. Yeah.Copy !req
236. Well, is there anything
I can bring you?Copy !req
237. Yeah, a cake with a file in it.Copy !req
238. Good one.Copy !req
239. Thank you, Officer.Copy !req
240. Can I give the flight
risk a kiss goodbye?Copy !req
241. That's up to her.Copy !req
242. I'm good.Copy !req
243. She's good.Copy !req
244. Okay, CeeCee, here we go.Copy !req
245. Bye, baby.Copy !req
246. Next rest stop,
let's call and check on CeeCee.Copy !req
247. She's fine.
She's with my meemaw.Copy !req
248. Yeah, you're right,
I'm worrying for nothing.Copy !req
249. All right, let's get you
to your cell.Copy !req
250. So, that beautiful little girl
is your granddaughter?Copy !req
251. Great-granddaughter.Copy !req
252. I never locked up
a great-grandma before.Copy !req
253. Well, isn't this your lucky day?Copy !req
254. Sheldon, phone.Copy !req
255. 187 IQ and I'm a receptionist.Copy !req
256. Cooper residence.Copy !req
257. Hello, Mr. Ballard.Copy !req
258. He's here.Copy !req
259. May I tell him
what this is concerning?Copy !req
260. I may not? Very well.Copy !req
261. Dad, it's Mr. Ballard.Copy !req
262. I'll pick it up in here.Copy !req
263. Which you could've done
to begin with.Copy !req
264. Hey, Dale, what's up?Copy !req
265. You're kidding.Copy !req
266. - Till Monday?
- What's going on?Copy !req
267. Shh!Copy !req
268. Well, is there
anything I can do?Copy !req
269. Yeah, I know a couple lawyers.Copy !req
270. Who needs a lawyer?Copy !req
271. Meemaw's in jail.Copy !req
272. Hang up.Copy !req
273. What's she in jail for?Copy !req
274. I'm not sure.Copy !req
275. Some kind of room got shut down.Copy !req
276. - Oh, the gambling room.
- What?Copy !req
277. Yeah, in the back
of the laundromat.Copy !req
278. Isn't that illegal?Copy !req
279. Yeah, that's why she's in jail.Copy !req
280. She tried to run?Copy !req
281. Oh, that...Copy !req
282. Oh, that makes me so happy.Copy !req
283. Yeah, it's kind of a sad one.Copy !req
284. Yeah. You'll like
this one.Copy !req
285. Here you go.
This is for you.Copy !req
286. That's the one.Copy !req
287. That's the one.Copy !req
288. We got company.Copy !req
289. - Hey, Mare.
- George told me about the arrest.Copy !req
290. Oh. Yeah.Copy !req
291. Boy, I know
how to pick 'em, huh?Copy !req
292. Is she okay?Copy !req
293. Oh, yeah,
she's a tough old bird.Copy !req
294. Well, let me take the baby
off your handsCopy !req
295. till the kids come back.Copy !req
296. Well, but we're having
such a good time.Copy !req
297. - Dale.
- She likes me.Copy !req
298. Dale.Copy !req
299. Oh. Fine.Copy !req
300. You get the baby,
I'll grab her Binky.Copy !req
301. You know, she really
does like me.Copy !req
302. So, here's a question.Copy !req
303. What?Copy !req
304. You think CeeCee's gonna be
an only child?Copy !req
305. I don't know.
For a while she is. Why?Copy !req
306. Well, since we're
man and wife now,Copy !req
307. we got to make plans.Copy !req
308. I'm almost back in my old jeans.
This can wait.Copy !req
309. Well, I'm just saying, I liked
having a brother and sister.Copy !req
310. Don't you like having a brother?Copy !req
311. Eh.Copy !req
312. So, y'all didn't get along?Copy !req
313. I picked on him.
I made him cry a lot.Copy !req
314. That's what I did with Sheldon.Copy !req
315. Don't you want
CeeCee to have that?Copy !req
316. Just so you know,
my plans include moreCopy !req
317. than making babies
so they can pick on each other.Copy !req
318. I want a career.Copy !req
319. I support that.Copy !req
320. And maybe go back to school.Copy !req
321. Curveball, but okay.Copy !req
322. I don't have to go
back to school, do I?Copy !req
323. Oh, no, sweetheart.Copy !req
324. Thank you.Copy !req
325. Hey there. Alice, isn't it?Copy !req
326. - Audrey.
- Right.Copy !req
327. What can I do for you, Audrey?Copy !req
328. I came to visit
my granddaughter.Copy !req
329. Not here.Copy !req
330. Where is she?Copy !req
331. Well, as they say in Canada,Copy !req
332. she's "oot and aboot."Copy !req
333. So, if I'm to understand
correctly,Copy !req
334. our meemaw's been running
a criminal enterprise.Copy !req
335. Cool, huh?Copy !req
336. No, it is most certainly
not cool.Copy !req
337. On the one hand, people need to
pay for their crimes.Copy !req
338. On the other,
if Meemaw's in prison,Copy !req
339. who's gonna smell like Bengay
and kiss me on the head?Copy !req
340. She's an old lady, they're
not gonna lock her up forever.Copy !req
341. I sure hope not.Copy !req
342. Are there any other
family secretsCopy !req
343. that I don't know about?Copy !req
344. Um... actually, yes.Copy !req
345. Tell me.Copy !req
346. No, you couldn't handle it.Copy !req
347. Now I have to know.Copy !req
348. Okay. You ever wonder why MomCopy !req
349. made that prayer garden
in the back yard?Copy !req
350. To pray.Copy !req
351. You're so naive.Copy !req
352. There's a dead body under there.Copy !req
353. Whose?Copy !req
354. I've already said too much.Copy !req
355. - Hey, Audrey.
- Where's Mary?Copy !req
356. She's, uh...Copy !req
357. Mare!Copy !req
358. Oh.Copy !req
359. Hi.Copy !req
360. Why do you have the baby?Copy !req
361. Um...Copy !req
362. It's kind of a long story.Copy !req
363. Why do you have the baby?Copy !req
364. My mother was arrested,
she's in jail.Copy !req
365. I can't get a straight answer
from anybody in this family.Copy !req
366. A gambling room?Copy !req
367. Yes.Copy !req
368. And she'd been
bribing the authorities?Copy !req
369. I wouldn't use that word,Copy !req
370. but there were...Copy !req
371. donations made
to the authorities.Copy !req
372. And Georgie worked there?Copy !req
373. Well, he also
runs the laundromat.Copy !req
374. Very legitimate.Copy !req
375. For money laundering.Copy !req
376. And regular laundering.Copy !req
377. I can't believe this.Copy !req
378. What kind of a family
has my daughter married into?Copy !req
379. To be clear,
I did not condone any of this.Copy !req
380. Doesn't matter.
This is a criminal environment,Copy !req
381. and I'm taking the baby.Copy !req
382. Over my dead body.Copy !req
383. CeeCee is my granddaughter, too,Copy !req
384. and she is perfectly safe here.Copy !req
385. Well, as long as she's here,
I'm here.Copy !req
386. Fine.Copy !req
387. Are you hungry?Copy !req
388. I have half a bucket
of spaghetti in the fridge.Copy !req
389. I could eat.Copy !req
390. All right, I'll go heat it up.Copy !req
391. What?Copy !req
392. You think I'm gonna
take the baby and run?Copy !req
393. Yes. Would you like
some garlic bread?Copy !req
394. That sounds nice.Copy !req
395. You know, we should really start
looking for our own place.Copy !req
396. You think?Copy !req
397. I mean, the gambling room's
doing great,Copy !req
398. and since we put
in the roulette wheel,Copy !req
399. we're basically printing money.Copy !req
400. Sure would like
to have my own bathroom.Copy !req
401. Your own bathroom,Copy !req
402. one of them walk-in shoe closetsCopy !req
403. like on Lifestyles
of the Rich and Famous.Copy !req
404. And carpet everywhere,
even in the kitchen.Copy !req
405. That's a terrible idea.Copy !req
406. 'Cause of spilling and crumbs, sure.Copy !req
407. Point is, I want to spoil you,Copy !req
408. so whatever you want.Copy !req
409. Well, right now,
I just want you.Copy !req
410. Really? Now?Copy !req
411. Yeah.Copy !req
412. Hot damn.Copy !req
413. Just so you know,Copy !req
414. I promised my dad
I'd use condoms.Copy !req
415. Good.Copy !req
416. Now what?Copy !req
417. Hey.Copy !req
418. Did you escape?Copy !req
419. Nah, they just brought me over
to pick up my pills and pj's.Copy !req
420. Oh, that's nice.Copy !req
421. Are you drunk?Copy !req
422. Uh, yeah, it sure feels like it.Copy !req
423. And where's the baby?Copy !req
424. Don't worry, she's not here.Copy !req
425. - Where is she?
- Mary's got her.Copy !req
426. So she knows about me?Copy !req
427. Yeah.Copy !req
428. My chariot awaits.Copy !req
429. Oh.Copy !req
430. Did you have diner?Copy !req
431. They ordered in some pizza
from Del Bonos.Copy !req
432. That sounds good.Copy !req
433. I had cold spaghetti.Copy !req
434. All right.Copy !req
435. Well, I'll see you Monday.Copy !req
436. Well, they have visiting hours.Copy !req
437. I can come tomorrow morning.Copy !req
438. Not till 1:00.Copy !req
439. Oh, I see. My game's on.Copy !req
440. So, how about 4:30 or 5:00?Copy !req
441. I'll see you Monday.Copy !req
442. All right. See ya.Copy !req
443. Well, why does she get pizza?Copy !req
444. I want pizza.Copy !req
445. - Thanks for coming by.
- Yeah, what's the situation?Copy !req
446. Well, right now
it's kind of a standoff.Copy !req
447. They're eating spaghetti, and
Mary's holding the baby hostage.Copy !req
448. All right. What's our play?Copy !req
449. Well, I figured we'll be
dealing with each otherCopy !req
450. for the rest of our lives,Copy !req
451. - so we got to keep things civil.
- I'm with you.Copy !req
452. Let me start by saying,Copy !req
453. you are a pleasure.Copy !req
454. Oh, back at you.Copy !req
455. And your daughter is a keeper.Copy !req
456. And your son is
a fine young man.Copy !req
457. Thank you.Copy !req
458. So, you ready to do this?Copy !req
459. I'm right behind you.Copy !req
460. Hey, Mare,
look who stopped by.Copy !req
461. Mmm, it's good coffee.Copy !req
462. Is that Folgers?Copy !req
463. Maxwell House.Copy !req
464. Ah, sure.Copy !req
465. Good to the last drop.Copy !req
466. Uh, Audrey, am I crazy,Copy !req
467. or didn't we used to
drink Maxwell House?Copy !req
468. Yes.
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
469. Hmm. Why'd we change?Copy !req
470. It's a mystery.Copy !req
471. Speaking of mysteries,Copy !req
472. Mary, did you ever find that
earring you were looking for?Copy !req
473. Family heirloom just gone.Copy !req
474. Maybe her mother stole it.Copy !req
475. I am not holding the baby
anymore,Copy !req
476. so you better watch it.Copy !req
477. Audrey's uncle was
a bank robber.Copy !req
478. - Jim!
- He's in Leavenworth.Copy !req
479. He's my uncle by marriage.Copy !req
480. Look, a-all I'm saying isCopy !req
481. every family's got secrets, right?Copy !req
482. We sure got some skeletons
in the closet.Copy !req
483. We do not.Copy !req
484. Other than my mother.Copy !req
485. And?Copy !req
486. My cousin Janine is
a practicing witch,Copy !req
487. but that's it.Copy !req
488. Worships Satan.Copy !req
489. I got you beat.Copy !req
490. My brother William...Copy !req
491. He's a Democrat.Copy !req
492. He voted for Mondale.Copy !req
493. - Aw, I'm so sorry.
- Mm.Copy !req
494. Actually, feels good
to talk about it.Copy !req
495. Are you sure
there's a body down here?Copy !req
496. Oh, yeah, keep digging.Copy !req
497. I'd like to tell youCopy !req
498. I found something that night,Copy !req
499. but for once
you all might be ahead of me.Copy !req
500. Captioning sponsored by
CBSCopy !req
501. WARNER BROS. TELEVISIONCopy !req
502. and TOYOTA.Copy !req