1. Previously on Young Sheldon...
Copy !req
2. - Who are you?
- I'm Paige.
Copy !req
3. This is a very advanced class.
Copy !req
4. Do you know how to differentiate
under the integral sign?
Copy !req
5. No.
Copy !req
6. Do you know anything?
Copy !req
7. I know you're in my spot.
Copy !req
8. These are parents
we can actually relate to.
Copy !req
9. Sounds good.
Oh, thank you, Lord,
Copy !req
10. for connecting us
with the parents
Copy !req
11. of another special child.
Copy !req
12. You kids are special, too.
Copy !req
13. I used to work at the practice
with Barry, but I had to quit
Copy !req
14. once Paige's schedule
started to get busy.
Copy !req
15. Well, a unique child
can require a lot of attention.
Copy !req
16. Try all the attention.
Copy !req
17. Barry, it sounds like
you might be feeling left out.
Copy !req
18. Sometimes I do.
Copy !req
19. Don't you get him
another beer.
Copy !req
20. Oh, come on. You love this,
and you know it.
Copy !req
21. They're as messed-up as we are.
Copy !req
22. From a young age,
I was the proud member
Copy !req
23. of several elite organizations:
Copy !req
24. The Radio Shack Battery Club,
Copy !req
25. entitling the bearer
to the incredible bargain
Copy !req
26. of one free battery per month.
Copy !req
27. It's no wonder
they went out of business.
Copy !req
28. Starfleet International,
entitling the bearer
Copy !req
29. to say things like,
"I'm a member
Copy !req
30. of Starfleet International."
Copy !req
31. And best of all, the Natural
Science Museum of Texas,
Copy !req
32. which included a free
subscription to their magazine.
Copy !req
33. "The secrets
of carbon isotope dating."
Copy !req
34. Juicy.
Copy !req
35. Mom, can you make the salad?
Copy !req
36. Sure.
Copy !req
37. Hey, don't put in
any of those little tomatoes.
Copy !req
38. Hey, I don't tell you how
to impersonate a lump of clay.
Copy !req
39. You don't tell me
how to make a salad.
Copy !req
40. There's going to be a lecture
on carbon dating
Copy !req
41. at the Natural Science Museum
on Saturday.
Copy !req
42. Who would like to take me?
Copy !req
43. You know what? I'd be happy to.
Copy !req
44. What happened to helping me
at my yard sale?
Copy !req
45. Ooh, is that this Saturday?
Copy !req
46. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
47. I'm taking him
to a lecture on, uh...
Copy !req
48. what is it? Carbonation?
Copy !req
49. Carbon dating.
A method of determining
Copy !req
50. the age of artifacts
and fossils.
Copy !req
51. Hey, we could use that to figure
out how old your grandma is.
Copy !req
52. That won't work.
Copy !req
53. You can't carbon-date
something that's alive.
Copy !req
54. Well, then, we'll just chop
her down and count the rings.
Copy !req
55. Oh, George, did my "lump
of clay" remark strike a nerve?
Copy !req
56. A little.
Copy !req
57. Dad, do you believe that fossils
are millions of years old?
Copy !req
58. I guess. Why?
Copy !req
59. Well, Mom believes the world
was only created 6,000 years ago.
Copy !req
60. Yeah. So?
Copy !req
61. Are these differences
a sticking point in your marriage?
Copy !req
62. Not at all.
Copy !req
63. - Why?
- Simple.
Copy !req
64. We never talk about it.
Copy !req
65. So you just avoid discussing
topics you don't agree on?
Copy !req
66. At all costs.
Copy !req
67. Hearing that further convinces me
I'll never get married.
Copy !req
68. Never say never.
Copy !req
69. Why not?
You just said it twice.
Copy !req
70. All right, as soon as I get
these tables set up on the lawn,
Copy !req
71. y'all can start
bringing that stuff out.
Copy !req
72. You think you're gonna get ten
bucks for this piece of junk?
Copy !req
73. Hey, that piece of junk
is a wedding gift
Copy !req
74. from my cheap-ass
Cousin Betty.
Copy !req
75. And I was gonna leave
a little room to haggle.
Copy !req
76. What's a haggle?
Copy !req
77. Negotiating.
You start high,
Copy !req
78. they offer less, then you meet
somewhere in the middle.
Copy !req
79. Leaves them feeling like,
you know, they got a deal.
Copy !req
80. - Did they?
- Not if you did it right.
Copy !req
81. How much are we getting paid
today?
Copy !req
82. You're not getting paid squat.
You're helping out your meemaw.
Copy !req
83. That doesn't seem fair.
Copy !req
84. Yeah, we should
get something.
Copy !req
85. Fine.
Copy !req
86. How much you want?
Copy !req
87. Five dollars.
Copy !req
88. - Each.
- Each.
Copy !req
89. That's pretty steep.
Copy !req
90. How about I give you
a buck apiece?
Copy !req
91. Let's meet in the middle—
three dollars each.
Copy !req
92. Now we're haggling.
Copy !req
93. Let me ask you a question.
Copy !req
94. If you break something today,
Copy !req
95. are you prepared
to cover the cost of that?
Copy !req
96. - No.
- Nuh-uh.
Copy !req
97. Mm. Well, we're gonna have
to factor that in.
Copy !req
98. And did you bring
your own lunch?
Copy !req
99. You said we were
getting pizza.
Copy !req
100. Well, I did,
but pizza ain't free.
Copy !req
101. And I'm teaching you
about negotiating,
Copy !req
102. which is a pretty valuable
life lesson, right?
Copy !req
103. Yeah.
I guess so.
Copy !req
104. So, if my math is right,
Copy !req
105. you owe me...
two dollars each.
Copy !req
106. We owe you?
Copy !req
107. The numbers don't lie.
Copy !req
108. Dang it.
Copy !req
109. All right, listen.
Copy !req
110. I love ya, and you're family,
Copy !req
111. so if you do it for nothing,
we'll call it even.
Copy !req
112. Take it, take it, take it.
Copy !req
113. You got yourself a deal.
Copy !req
114. Y'all drive a hard bargain.
Copy !req
115. Now start bringing
that crap outside.
Copy !req
116. Oh, my.
Copy !req
117. Yeah.
Copy !req
118. I bet he dresses down
Copy !req
119. to about 6000, 7000
pounds of USDA prime.
Copy !req
120. You'd eat him?
Copy !req
121. He'd eat me.
Copy !req
122. Wow. You're really
cleaning house.
Copy !req
123. Got to get rid of
the old gar-bage,
Copy !req
124. make room for the new gar-bage.
Copy !req
125. This was Dad's.
Copy !req
126. You're not getting
rid of this, are you?
Copy !req
127. Didn't need it when he shot it,
Copy !req
128. didn't need it
when he stuffed it,
Copy !req
129. - don't need it now.
- Really?
Copy !req
130. It was his first
attempt at taxidermy.
Copy !req
131. He was so proud.
Copy !req
132. If it has sentimental
value to you,
Copy !req
133. I'll let you have it
for five dollars.
Copy !req
134. Ooh. For this nasty thing?
Copy !req
135. Oh, you're selling
his golf clubs, too?
Copy !req
136. Which one of your
children do you see
Copy !req
137. hanging out with Arnold
Palmer in the future?
Copy !req
138. Dad's clothes,
his shoes, his pipes?
Copy !req
139. Honey, it's just stuff.
Copy !req
140. I know, but still...
Copy !req
141. I get how you're feeling.
Copy !req
142. I do.
Copy !req
143. Now go away.
Copy !req
144. I got a lot of crap to sell.
Copy !req
145. All right, now,
don't wander off.
Copy !req
146. Pick you up right after
the lecture's over.
Copy !req
147. Bye.
Copy !req
148. You gonna be okay by yourself?
Copy !req
149. I actually prefer it.
Copy !req
150. Well, I'm leaving.
Copy !req
151. You keep saying that,
but then you don't do it.
Copy !req
152. Bye.
Copy !req
153. He's so needy.
Copy !req
154. Sheldon?
Copy !req
155. - Paige?
- I'm so happy to see you.
Copy !req
156. Are you happy to see me?
Copy !req
157. Not immediately.
Copy !req
158. That's okay.
Copy !req
159. I'm happy enough
for both of us.
Copy !req
160. - Rice Stadium in Houston.
- Dave Barnett and Dave Rowe.
Copy !req
161. And Baylor's bidding to go up
14 to nothing.
Copy !req
162. And if you're Rice right now,
and you're in that huddle...
Copy !req
163. George?
Copy !req
164. Oh...
Copy !req
165. - Hi.
- Oh, Paige's mom.
Copy !req
166. I know.
Copy !req
167. What a nice surprise.
Copy !req
168. I just dropped Paige off
at the carbon-dating lecture.
Copy !req
169. And I dropped Sheldon.
Copy !req
170. Well, how about that?
Copy !req
171. How about it.
Copy !req
172. Mind if I join you?
Copy !req
173. Sure.
Copy !req
174. So, uh, where's your...
your hubby?
Copy !req
175. - Oh, Barry?
- Barry. Yeah.
Copy !req
176. Who cares?
Copy !req
177. That doesn't sound good.
Copy !req
178. Oh, sorry. Just ignore me.
Copy !req
179. Okay.
Copy !req
180. Oh, hey, you want a wing?
Copy !req
181. Yeah, no, thank you.
Copy !req
182. You mind if I watch the game?
Copy !req
183. Oh, no, not at all. Enjoy.
Copy !req
184. I'll just see
what kind of pie they have.
Copy !req
185. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
186. Well, we were here
last year when Arkansas...
Copy !req
187. It's getting a little tougher
to ignore you.
Copy !req
188. Oh, I'm sorry. It's just...
Copy !req
189. Oh... forget it.
Copy !req
190. - Okeydoke.
- Fine, I'll tell you.
Copy !req
191. Barry and I
haven't been in a good place
Copy !req
192. in a long time, and I...
Copy !req
193. I think we're headed for divorce.
Copy !req
194. I'm sorry. Uh...
Copy !req
195. I don't know what to say.
Copy !req
196. Uh, oh.
Copy !req
197. You don't have to say anything.
Copy !req
198. That I can do.
Copy !req
199. Oh.
Copy !req
200. They have cobbler.
Copy !req
201. Rupert Taylor
got the block, and Charles...
Copy !req
202. All right, everybody, welcome.
Copy !req
203. Glad to see
we got so many people interested
Copy !req
204. in radioactive decay.
Copy !req
205. Well, hello.
Copy !req
206. - Hi.
- This is a nice surprise.
Copy !req
207. I don't usually see
young people at my lectures.
Copy !req
208. I enjoyed your paper on
accelerator mass spectrometry,
Copy !req
209. and wanted to find out more.
Copy !req
210. Is that so?
Copy !req
211. And you?
Copy !req
212. I read this magazine.
Copy !req
213. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
214. It has puzzles, too.
Copy !req
215. Okay.
Copy !req
216. Do you want to kick this off
Copy !req
217. and tell us
exactly what carbon dating is?
Copy !req
218. The 5,730-year half-life
of carbon 14
Copy !req
219. is used as a geochronometer.
Copy !req
220. Anything else you'd like to add?
Copy !req
221. Um...
Copy !req
222. carbon dating is how we figured
out how old my grandmother is.
Copy !req
223. It was at this moment I learned
Copy !req
224. I was not only brilliant;
I was also hilarious.
Copy !req
225. I mean, you, of all people,
would understand.
Copy !req
226. You've got a special child
of your own.
Copy !req
227. I do, I do.
Copy !req
228. How do you and Mary
handle the stress?
Copy !req
229. Well, we actually have
a pretty good system.
Copy !req
230. Oh, please tell me.
Copy !req
231. We don't talk about it.
Copy !req
232. Not at all?
Copy !req
233. Zippo.
Copy !req
234. Boy, that doesn't sound
like it could work.
Copy !req
235. Suit yourself,
but I'm having a nice day.
Copy !req
236. You're crying
into your peach cobbler.
Copy !req
237. For now, let's neglect changes
in the isotopic
Copy !req
238. ratio of the air
over thousands of years.
Copy !req
239. This is pretty basic stuff.
Copy !req
240. Yes.
Copy !req
241. I'm bored.
Copy !req
242. Let's get out of here.
Copy !req
243. I can't. I told my dad
Copy !req
244. I'd stay here until
the end of the lecture.
Copy !req
245. Okay. Be a baby.
Copy !req
246. I'm leaving.
Copy !req
247. In our case,
the math yields
Copy !req
248. approximately
48,000 years.
Copy !req
249. I was most certainly
not a baby.
Copy !req
250. If anyone was a baby,
it was she,
Copy !req
251. because people
who call other people babies
Copy !req
252. are the real babies.
Copy !req
253. Wait up.
Copy !req
254. I like it.
Copy !req
255. It likes you.
Copy !req
256. How much?
Five dollars.
Copy !req
257. I only have 50 cents.
Copy !req
258. That's okay.
We're haggling.
Copy !req
259. I don't know what that means.
Copy !req
260. You make me an offer,
and we meet in the middle.
Copy !req
261. The middle of what?
Copy !req
262. I'm not really sure.
Copy !req
263. Hmm.
Copy !req
264. What are you doing?
Copy !req
265. Considering buying this jacket.
Copy !req
266. I found chewing tobacco
and Juicy Fruit in the pocket.
Copy !req
267. Does that come with it,
or is it extra?
Copy !req
268. Actually, that's not for sale.
Copy !req
269. Why don't you look
for something else?
Copy !req
270. You sure?
There's a price tag on it.
Copy !req
271. Just take it off.
Copy !req
272. Is this some kind
of bargaining technique?
Copy !req
273. Because I should warn you.
Copy !req
274. I've been to the
bazaars in Istanbul,
Copy !req
275. where the negotiations are fast,
furious and bilingual.
Copy !req
276. Just take it off, damn it.
Copy !req
277. What just happened?
Copy !req
278. That's my dad's jacket.
Copy !req
279. Oh.
Copy !req
280. Still don't know what happened.
Copy !req
281. Do you think humans will become
extinct like the dinosaurs?
Copy !req
282. Yes, but before that happens,
some of us will merge
Copy !req
283. with computers and
become immortal cyborgs.
Copy !req
284. That's a fascinating idea.
Copy !req
285. Thank you.
Copy !req
286. Did you get that
from a TV show?
Copy !req
287. No.
Copy !req
288. A comic book.
Copy !req
289. And then when Paige turned six,
it was obvious
Copy !req
290. she wasn't like
the other kids,
Copy !req
291. and she needed a school
where she could excel.
Copy !req
292. - Uh-huh.
- But Barry's dental practice
Copy !req
293. was 50 miles
outside of Fayetteville,
Copy !req
294. and do you know what's available
for extraordinary children
Copy !req
295. 50 miles outside
of Fayetteville?
Copy !req
296. - I'm gonna guess not much.
- Nothing.
Copy !req
297. - Mm-hmm.
- So I packed us up,
Copy !req
298. and I made him move
to Texas where,
Copy !req
299. believe it or not,
people do get cavities.
Copy !req
300. I believe it.
I had a humdinger last summer.
Copy !req
301. - Face swelled up like a cantaloupe.
- And do you know
Copy !req
302. he's been cool to me ever since,
Copy !req
303. even though
his practice is making money
Copy !req
304. - hand over fist.
- Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
305. A flag down...
Copy !req
306. And as much as he
says I ignore him,
Copy !req
307. he ignores me just as much.
Copy !req
308. I mean, would it kill him
to get a babysitter every once
Copy !req
309. in a while and take me
to dinner, maybe a movie?
Copy !req
310. - It would not.
- Oh, darn.
Copy !req
311. You didn't see me.
Copy !req
312. Then you've got
fourth down, and he throws the...
Copy !req
313. George!
Copy !req
314. Hey.
Copy !req
315. Paige's dad.
Copy !req
316. Barry. Yeah, of course,
I remember.
Copy !req
317. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
318. Uh, just, you know,
Copy !req
319. Sheldon wanted to go
to a science lecture.
Copy !req
320. No kidding.
Copy !req
321. We just dropped Paige off there.
Copy !req
322. You don't say.
Copy !req
323. Ooh.
Copy !req
324. Caveman stuff.
I love that.
Copy !req
325. Where are you going?
It's closed.
Copy !req
326. I can read... baby.
Copy !req
327. Just so you know,
that won't work every time.
Copy !req
328. You haven't, uh,
seen Linda around, have you?
Copy !req
329. Linda.
Copy !req
330. Your wife, Linda.
Copy !req
331. Yeah. No.
Copy !req
332. So what's new?
Copy !req
333. Oh, not much.
Copy !req
334. Hey, you like football?
Copy !req
335. No.
Copy !req
336. Well, you sure?
It's a close game.
Copy !req
337. Uh, no, no, I'm, uh,
more of a tennis man.
Copy !req
338. Well, those are two very
different sports, aren't they?
Copy !req
339. I think you've got to go outside
Copy !req
340. and rely on somebody like...
Copy !req
341. George...
Copy !req
342. can I confide in you?
Copy !req
343. This is oddly reminiscent
of a dinner with my family.
Copy !req
344. You're funny.
Copy !req
345. I know.
Copy !req
346. My family never
eats dinner together.
Copy !req
347. Why not?
Copy !req
348. My dad always manages to come
home from work after we're done.
Copy !req
349. Hmm. My dad never
misses a meal.
Copy !req
350. Do you think Stone Age parents
stayed together forever?
Copy !req
351. They had to.
There were no lawyers.
Copy !req
352. What?
Copy !req
353. That was funny.
Copy !req
354. Right, we've
established I'm funny.
Copy !req
355. Well, I think my parents
are getting a divorce.
Copy !req
356. Why?
Copy !req
357. They fight all the time.
Copy !req
358. - About what?
- Mostly me.
Copy !req
359. Hmm. That's too bad.
Copy !req
360. I guess I'm lucky.
Copy !req
361. Why?
Copy !req
362. I'm the glue that holds
our family together.
Copy !req
363. What are you kids
doing in there?
Copy !req
364. Okay, ten cents a week
for a whole year.
Copy !req
365. I get the raccoon, and to tell
people you're my girlfriend.
Copy !req
366. 15 cents a week, and if you
say hello to me in school,
Copy !req
367. I'll say hello back.
Copy !req
368. Deal.
Copy !req
369. Connie, I need to apologize.
Copy !req
370. Oh, that's okay.
Don't worry about it.
Copy !req
371. No, I am worrying about it.
Copy !req
372. I didn't realize that with you
and I being in a relationship,
Copy !req
373. me wearing
your dead husband's clothes
Copy !req
374. would be emotionally
challenging for you.
Copy !req
375. All right, apology accepted.
Copy !req
376. Thank you.
Copy !req
377. Are you okay?
Copy !req
378. I guess I just didn't expect
that getting rid of my...
Copy !req
379. my husband's stuff
was gonna hit me so hard.
Copy !req
380. He must have been
a wonderful man.
Copy !req
381. Well, he had his moments.
Copy !req
382. He was married to a wonderful
woman, so that says a lot.
Copy !req
383. You're pretty
wonderful yourself.
Copy !req
384. Thank you.
Copy !req
385. Now, let's talk
about this hula girl lamp.
Copy !req
386. What's your best price?
Copy !req
387. It's my gift to you.
Copy !req
388. Nice haggle.
Copy !req
389. Nice mullet.
Copy !req
390. Thanks again.
Copy !req
391. Real sorry
about this.
Copy !req
392. What were you
thinking?
Copy !req
393. I got bored.
Copy !req
394. 'Cause you're a baby.
Copy !req
395. What happened?
Copy !req
396. Everything's fine.
Copy !req
397. They just
wandered off.
Copy !req
398. Hey, Linda, nice to see you.
Copy !req
399. George, Sheldon's dad.
Copy !req
400. Oh, sure, yes. Hi.
Copy !req
401. Well, good to see you folks.
Copy !req
402. Take care.
Copy !req
403. Did you know that her parents
are getting a divorce?
Copy !req
404. Just keep walking.
Keep walking.
Copy !req
405. What... what is that for?
Copy !req
406. Well, can't I
appreciate my wife?
Copy !req
407. What did you do now?
Copy !req
408. I didn't do anything.
Copy !req
409. Want to hear something cool?
Copy !req
410. Sheldon skipped out
of that lecture
Copy !req
411. with that little Paige girl,
snuck into a closed exhibit.
Copy !req
412. - You're kidding.
- True.
Copy !req
413. Even got, uh, "arrested"
by the museum security cops.
Copy !req
414. Why would you think that's cool?
Copy !req
415. Sheldon got into trouble
with a girl!
Copy !req
416. I'm bursting with pride.
Copy !req
417. You know what? I don't
want to talk about it.
Copy !req
418. There, right there.
Copy !req
419. That's why I love you.
Copy !req
420. You gonna eat
your beans?
Copy !req
421. Yeah, I'm gonna
eat my beans. Duh.
Copy !req
422. What about your tots?
Copy !req
423. - Those, too.
- Georgie!
Copy !req
424. Just eat your
own dinner.
Copy !req
425. Dad?
Copy !req
426. Can't have my tots, either!
Copy !req