1. "That everyone who believes
may have eternal life in him.
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2. For God so loved the world that
he gave his one and only son."
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3. Here we go.
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4. Yes, Sheldon?
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5. When you said God gave
his son to the world,
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6. did you mean Earth
or the universe?
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7. Earth.
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8. But if God created the universe,
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9. wouldn't he want
to save all of it?
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10. Yes, uh, he would.
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11. Then why did you say Earth?
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12. "Earth" is a synonym
for the universe.
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13. He's grabbing at straws now.
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14. So if God's plan is
to save all of the universe,
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15. that means a race of
octopus aliens light-years away
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16. - could only be saved by Jesus?
- Sure.
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17. - Even though they never
would've heard of him?
- Yes.
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18. Even though his appearance
might be terrifying to them?
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19. W-Why would his appearance
be terrifying?
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20. He has four limbs
and they have eight.
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21. - Okay, that's enough.
- No, no.
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22. I prayed people would be
more interested in my sermons.
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23. I suppose I should've been
more specific.
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24. Sheldon, if
these creatures
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25. were born without sin, they
don't need to be saved by Jesus.
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26. What if an octopus Adam and Eve
brought sin to their world?
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27. Would they be saved by a human
Jesus or an octopus Jesus?
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28. And then I said octopus aliens
didn't need to become Christian
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29. because they're not affected
by original sin.
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30. You should've been there.
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31. Pastor Jeff almost started crying.
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32. Oh, now I'm sorry
I missed it.
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33. That's your fault
for having a hangover.
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34. Or it's God's fault
for putting Sunday morning
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35. after Saturday night.
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36. - Meemaw, could you take me
to Radio Shack?
- Hello?
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37. Sure, maybe later.
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38. Later's a little vague.
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39. Could you please
be more specific?
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40. When I'm good and ready.
How's that?
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41. Better, but I'd really
like to nail this down.
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42. Why don't you ask
your father to take you?
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43. - Dad?
- What?
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44. Can you please
take me to Radio Shack?
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45. I'm busy.
Ask your meemaw.
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46. I did.
She said to ask you.
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47. Well, ask her again.
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48. Seems counterintuitive,
but all right.
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49. Meemaw?
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50. Oh, Lord.
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51. Everything okay?
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52. No.
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53. Stephanie Hanson's daughter was
in a car accident last night.
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54. She died.
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55. Oh, no.
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56. My God.
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57. She was barely 16.
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58. That's horrible.
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59. Is there anything we can do?
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60. I don't know.
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61. Um... ugh.
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62. I need to call folks
at the church.
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63. Any more thoughts
on Radio Shack?
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64. Sheldon, do you
really think
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65. this is the appropriate
time to ask that question?
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66. I did, but now
I'm second-guessing myself.
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67. How you holding up?
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68. I'm okay.
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69. 16 years old.
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70. It's just awful.
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71. It's all part of God's plan.
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72. How come we don't get
to go to the funeral?
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73. Why would you want
to go to a funeral?
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74. I've never been to one.
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75. When you get to be my age,
you get to go to plenty.
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76. That's, like,
a hundred years from now.
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77. You make it hard to love you.
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78. Do you really see a dead body?
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79. Sometimes.
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80. How close do
you get to it?
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81. Real close, if you want.
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82. And the clothes they're wearing,
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83. is that the clothes
they become a ghost in?
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84. Depends. In the movie Ghost,
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85. Patrick Swayze has on
the outfit that he dies in.
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86. Casper runs around butt naked.
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87. Maybe he died naked.
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88. That's fun to think about.
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89. And y'all wonder why
you're not at the funeral.
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90. Good morning, Peg.
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91. Well, it will be once this cup
of Sanka works its magic.
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92. Is Pastor available?
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93. Oh, he's on the phone
with his wife.
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94. - Oh, should I come back?
- Nah.
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95. He usually gets his groveling
done pretty quick.
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96. So... that little Hanson girl,
that was horrible, huh?
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97. Yeah.
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98. Reminds you that...
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99. life is precious.
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100. You're up, slugger.
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101. Come in.
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102. I have the clothing drive flyers
if you'd like to take a look.
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103. Thank you.
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104. You all right, Mare?
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105. No, not really.
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106. Um...
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107. I can't stop thinking
about that little girl.
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108. I understand.
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109. That's why it's important
in these times
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110. to take comfort in our faith.
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111. What if that's
not doing the trick?
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112. Events like this can
certainly create doubt.
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113. It happens to me more often
than I'd like to admit.
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114. What do you do?
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115. I roll up my sleeves and I work
even harder at serving our Lord.
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116. Mary, we each have
a relationship with God,
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117. and relationships
take work.
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118. Get out there.
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119. Help the needy,
start a Bible study,
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120. hug a stranger and tell 'em
the Lord loves 'em.
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121. But not a child.
That backfires on you, big-time.
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122. Thank you, Pastor Jeff.
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123. You are most welcome.
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124. Oh, and tell Sheldon
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125. I spoke to
my seminary professor,
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126. and the official ruling is:
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127. God would appear to the octopus
aliens in octopus alien form
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128. and save their
eight-legged souls.
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129. Praise Jesus!
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130. I should put that in a sermon.
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131. Hold on, hold on.
Thank you, God,
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132. for this food we are about to
receive and for the nourishment
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133. of our bodies, and bless the
hands that prepared it. Amen.
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134. We're doing this
at breakfast now?
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135. Yes, I think it's a nice idea.
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136. She's eating Count Chocula.
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137. Doesn't he play
for the other side?
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138. I'm so glad God blessed you
with a sense of humor, George.
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139. Mom, have you received any
distressing phone calls today?
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140. No. Why?
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141. Just wondering if
it's an appropriate time
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142. to ask if you could take me
to Radio Shack.
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143. Sorry, sweetheart,
I can't today.
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144. I have to bring this food
over to the Hanson family.
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145. Then I have my new prayer group.
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146. And after that,
I'm gonna get started
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147. on a faith garden
in the backyard.
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148. A faith garden?
What the hell is that?
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149. Language.
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150. It's an outdoorsy place
for me to speak to God.
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151. Don't you already
speak to him indoorsy?
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152. Yes, but in the backyard,
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153. I can enjoy the beautiful world
he gave us.
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154. You can also smell the
Sparks' chicken coop.
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155. Well, I think it sounds nice.
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156. Thank you. I'm gonna
need your truck
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157. to get all the dirt and
flowers and tools that I need.
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158. - Sure.
- Oh, oh, almost forgot.
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159. Can you keep an eye out
for a rock big enough
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160. to paint a Psalm on?
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161. I can do that.
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162. Wish me luck!
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163. Luck!
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164. Mm-hmm!
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165. Is Mom okay?
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166. How the heck should I know?
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167. She left. You can say "hell."
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168. our hearts
and stir us to action.
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169. If my mother's faith was
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170. the Starship Enterprise,
over the next week,
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171. she achieved warp factor nine.
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172. I can't hear you.
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173. Amen!
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174. Let 'em hear ya in heaven!
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175. - Amen!
- Heck yeah! Amen!
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176. Despite his concerns
over her sanity,
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177. my dad found a rock
worthy of her faith garden.
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178. Ooh, right over there.
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179. - Here?
- Mm-hmm.
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180. Gently!
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181. Honey, it's a rock.
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182. I know, but still.
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183. I pray that you protect
Sheldon in all that he does.
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184. What are you doing?
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185. I'm praying for you.
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186. She needs it more than I do.
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187. You think I didn't
start with her?
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188. Lord, thank you for inspiring me
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189. to build this faith garden
and for your eternal love.
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190. Also, please look after
the Hanson family
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191. to find strength...
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192. in their time of grief.
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193. And I thank you
for the years they had
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194. with their beautiful daughter.
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195. So when you gonna take me
to get my learner's permit?
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196. Georgie, you've heard us
talking to Sheldon
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197. about asking questions
at inappropriate times, right?
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198. Yeah, so?
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199. So, given what's
happened this week,
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200. do you think
it's an appropriate time
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201. to be talking about driving?
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202. Why? 'Cause that girl died?
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203. Yes, that.
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204. For your information,
I'd be an excellent driver.
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205. I wouldn't trust you
to push a shopping cart.
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206. Would you feel more
confident if I told you
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207. I already know how to drive?
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208. - Video games don't count.
- I'll have you know
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209. I've driven Meemaw's car.
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210. I also drove your truck one night
while you were sleeping.
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211. Are you crazy?
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212. I parked it and everything.
You had no idea.
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213. Okay, let...
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214. let me get this straight—
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215. you're trying to prove to me
that you're a responsible person
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216. by admitting you stole my truck.
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217. I said I was responsible.
Never said I was smart.
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218. - Hey.
- Let's go out.
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219. - Go out where?
- I don't know,
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220. Dairy Queen, shooting range,
line dancing?
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221. Have you been drinking?
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222. I might've had a wine cooler
or two.
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223. Sweetheart, that ain't drinking.
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224. The bartender
asked to see my I.D.
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225. Honey, he does that to get tips.
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226. He asked me for mine, too.
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227. Well, I like to think we're both
young attractive ladies.
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228. To that old fart? Yeah.
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229. - Mmm.
- Whoa.
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230. Whoa, pace yourself, cowgirl.
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231. I'm fine.
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232. Now, are we gonna shoot pool
or not?
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233. You bet.
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234. Hmm!
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235. Did you know George and I
used to come here
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236. when we first started dating?
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237. Is that so?
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238. He kissed me right over there
in that booth.
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239. Why, was there some
barbecue sauce on your face?
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240. It's a fat joke.
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241. I got it, Mom.
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242. Come on.
Come on.
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243. Why are you putting us to bed?
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244. - 'Cause your mother's out.
- Where is she?
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245. She's with your grandmother.
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246. - Where'd they go?
- I don't know.
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247. - Why don't you know?
- Because I'm here with you.
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248. Good night. Sweet dreams.
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249. Mom gives us kisses.
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250. Fine.
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251. Mm, your beard's scratchy.
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252. Too bad. Sheldon?
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253. I respectfully pass.
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254. Mom also does
the good night dance.
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255. Now you're just screwing
with me.
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256. Night.
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257. You should've gone with
"sings us a lullaby."
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258. Yeah, I got cocky.
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259. Slow down there, sister.
You got church in the morning.
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260. Who says I'm going?
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261. What is happening with you?
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262. Do you really want to know?
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263. So, the other day
I was making a casserole
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264. to bring over to the Hansons,
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265. and I wanted to include
a sympathy card.
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266. So I started to write...
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267. "Your daughter's
in a better place."
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268. And I had to stop.
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269. Because how could that
possibly be true?
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270. How could a better place
be anywhere
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271. than at home
safe with her family?
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272. She was just a little kid.
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273. That could've...
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274. been Georgie behind the wheel.
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275. How could that possibly
be God's plan?
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276. Looks like you could use
a shoulder to cry on.
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277. No, she does not need
a shoulder to cry on,
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278. but I do need a place
to store my pool stick.
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279. Maybe I'd like that.
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280. Get.
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281. What the hell?
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282. Your problem now.
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283. - Ooh.
- Watch it.
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284. Here.
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285. What am I supposed to do
with her?
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286. I don't know.
But be careful.
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287. Last time she was this drunk,
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288. you ended up
with your first son.
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289. Night.
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290. He's not that fat, Mom!
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291. Now you're cooking breakfast
for us?
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292. Your mom's not feeling well.
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293. - Is she contagious?
- No.
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294. Just tired.
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295. Did you check her for ticks?
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296. Soon as she wakes up.
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297. You can check her
while she's asleep.
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298. Sit down!
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299. Do you even know how to cook?
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300. Believe it or not, I am capable
of making breakfast.
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301. Sorry. It's not like we see you
do much around here.
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302. How 'bout,
"Thanks for cooking, Dad"?
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303. Chocolate chips?
Thanks for cooking, Dad.
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304. Is Mom going to church?
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305. I don't think she's up to it.
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306. But she never misses church.
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307. Are you feeling better?
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308. Yes, baby, I'm fine.
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309. All right, here we go.
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310. Chocolate chips for breakfast
and pizza for dinner?
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311. I'm loving Dad.
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312. Where were you last night?
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313. - Out with your grandmother.
- But where'd you go?
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314. - Enough questions.
- Y'all ask me questions
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315. when I come home late.
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316. Oh, I can explain that. You're
an idiot and we don't trust you.
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317. Mom, you didn't say grace.
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318. Don't worry about it.
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319. Come on, y'all.
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320. Can I sit with you?
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321. I think Mommy needs to
be alone right now.
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322. All right.
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323. Mom, I'm scared.
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324. Why?
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325. You didn't go to church,
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326. you stopped saying grace.
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327. I don't understand
what's going on.
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328. It's kind of hard to explain.
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329. Is it me?
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330. Did I do something wrong?
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331. Of course not.
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332. Come here.
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333. Sheldon...
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334. faith means believing
in something
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335. you can't know
for sure is real.
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336. And right now,
I am struggling with that.
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337. So you don't believe
in God anymore?
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338. That isn't something
for you to worry about.
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339. I need to figure this out myself.
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340. Can I help? Maybe I could
provide a fresh perspective.
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341. I don't think so, baby.
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342. Did you know that if gravity
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343. were slightly
more powerful,
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344. the universe would
collapse into a ball?
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345. I did not.
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346. Also, if gravity were
slightly less powerful,
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347. the universe would fly apart
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348. and there would be
no stars or planets.
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349. Where you going
with this, Sheldon?
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350. It's just that gravity
is precisely as strong
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351. as it needs to be.
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352. And if the ratio of the
electromagnetic force
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353. to the strong force
wasn't one percent,
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354. life wouldn't exist.
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355. What are the odds that
would happen all by itself?
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356. Why are you trying to convince me
to believe in God?
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357. You don't believe in God.
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358. I don't, but the precision
of the universe
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359. at least makes it logical
to conclude there's a creator.
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360. Baby, I appreciate what you're
trying to do, but...
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361. logic is here.
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362. And my problem is here.
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363. Well, there are five billion
people on this planet
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364. and you're the
perfect mom for me.
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365. What are the odds of that?
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366. Oh.
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367. Thank you, Lord,
for this little boy.
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368. I knew I could fix it.
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369. Maybe it was you
and the Lord.
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370. I don't like sharing credit,
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371. but I knew in that moment
it wasn't the appropriate time
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372. to say it.
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373. And Jacob said: "For I have
seen God face to face,
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374. and my life is preserved."
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375. Is this
an appropriate time to mention
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376. that John 1:18 says,
"No man hath seen God
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377. at any time."
Who's right?
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378. Jacob or John?
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379. Let's talk about it
in the car.
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380. the Lord.
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381. Yes, Connie?
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382. My grandson has a question.
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383. Let 'er rip, kid.
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