Young Rock 2x4

1. - Most Americans woke up this morning

2. to find presidential candidate Dwayne Johnson

3. in the middle of a very public social media feud

4. with a chiropractor from Minnesota.

5. Dr. Julian Echo has been tweeting at candidate Johnson

6. since he announced his run for the presidency,

7. and last night, he finally got a response.

8. Dr. Echo had tweeted,

9. "Dwayne Johnson will never be my president.

10. "Went to school with him. Bad dude.

11. The world needs to hear what I have to say,"

12. to which Johnson replied,

13. "30 years later, and you're still a jabroni!"

14. Echo replied,

15. "You stole 'Jabroni' from the Iron Sheik."

16. "No, I didn't.

17. "I asked him if it was okay for me to use the word,

18. and he said yes."

19. "How do we know that really happened?"

20. - "Ask the Iron Sheik." - "I don't want to."

21. "I hate you."

22. "I always knew your heart was black."

23. And then many more exchanges

24. that cannot be repeated on television.

25. Guys, my bad.

26. I'm sorry.

27. - I thought you said you were doing a crossword.

28. - Johnson and Echo were classmates

29. at Washington Middle School in Hawaii back in 1984.

30. - You were just saying that you wouldn't let anyone

31. get under your skin like that anymore.

32. I know. I know.

33. It's just so unlike you.

34. You usually let that kind of thing roll off your back.

35. I do usually, yes.

36. But this kid— for some reason,

37. he makes me feel like I'm 11years old again

38. and I'm fighting in the schoolyard.

39. He's got a way of just digging and needling.

40. And he also has this really punchable face.

41. It's so punchable.

42. Uh...

43. - It's like right in the— - Yeah.

44. Jamie, turn off the camera and destroy the footage.

45. Yeah. So technically,

46. we don't own the footage.

47. It belongs to the network.

48. - Since when did you become a corporate stooge, Jamie?

49. - Tchh. - You wear that Che Guevara

50. T-shirt all the time,

51. and then you say something like that.

52. Come on, man.

53. - The story's breaking everywhere.

54. All the news outlets and social media.

55. - Oh, boy. Come on, Sandy.

56. We gotta deal with this now.

57. - Randall, look, I know I shouldn't have responded,

58. but that kid has been coming for me since day one.

59. - I mean, it's natural to want to defend yourself.

60. - It is, but doing something wrong

61. with the best of intentions isn't an excuse.

62. My dad used to do that all the time,

63. and it used to drive my mom and I crazy.

64. Like this one time in particular,

65. when we were living in Nashville—

66. - Oh, yeah, you started to tell me about that.

67. Yeah.

68. - You went there to live with your dad

69. while he was wrestling in the Memphis territory.

70. - Correct. And he had told my mom

71. that he had found a place for us to live,

72. which he hadn't,

73. so I was stuck living

74. with a family friend, Downtown Bruno.

75. And my mom didn't know any of this,

76. and she was planning to join us in a few weeks.

77. And my dad told me by the time she got there,

78. he was gonna have everything taken care of.

79. - And did you believe him? - I sure did.

80. 'Cause even though my dad worked the gimmick

81. and he was the master of spin,

82. I was still 15 years old, and he was still my hero.

83. My dad wrestled in Jerry Lawler's show,

84. which aired live every Saturday morning.

85. - And Rocky gives Jeff Jarrett the business!

86. - Come on, Double J! Quit getting punched so much.

87. - It was the biggest thing in Memphis.

88. Beat everything in the ratings.

89. "Golden Girls," "Who's the Boss?"...

90. Not "Cheers," though.

91. - Even "Cheers." - Even "Cheers"?

92. Ooh, vicious clothesline!

93. I think that's all she wrote, folks.

94. Get him, Soulman!

95. - Get up, Double J! Come on!

96. two, three!

97. - Whoo! Yeah!

98. Whoo!

99. - Another win for Rocky Johnson.

100. He's having a hell of a run out here, folks.

101. Rocky! Rocky!

102. Whoo!

103. Whoo!

104. - My dad got me work with the ring crew,

105. setting up before and cleaning up after matches.

106. - Hey, Dad. Great match today.

107. Thanks, Dew.

108. A win against Jeff Jarrett

109. always plays huge around here.

110. - That's 'cause I remind everyone

111. of their most hated cousin.

112. I can see that.

113. - Oh-ho! - Hey.

114. Nice match today, brother.

115. - Thanks, Bruno. You too. - Oh...

116. Oh, I liked when you said

117. Jared was 230 pounds of cornmeal and sex appeal.

118. I appreciate that.

119. Although all credit goes to Mom.

120. That's how she used to describe my dad.

121. Yeah. Dude, you ready to get outta here?

122. - Uh, yeah. Gimme five minutes.

123. - All right. I'll see you later.

124. Yeah, bro.

125. I'm hitting the road. Got a match in Tupelo tonight.

126. So, uh, here. Some walking around money.

127. Call that father-son trickle-down economics.

128. Trickle what?

129. - Trickle-down economics.

130. It's this financial theory

131. that's gonna change society, son.

132. The basic idea is that people who make money

133. make even more money

134. so that the little guy has a chance to get ahead.

135. That doesn't sound right.

136. - Doesn't matter how it sounds. It matters that it works.

137. - Oh. And I told Mom that I'm gonna call her today.

138. Great. Give her my love.

139. And when I get back, I might get us a place

140. before she even gets here. Don't worry about that.

141. - For sure. I'm not worried.

142. I got it covered.

143. Everything's going great, Mom.

144. Dad and I are all moved in,

145. and we can't wait for you to get here.

146. - Fantastic. So happy to hear that, Dewey.

147. How's school? You liking your teachers?

148. - Now, keep in mind I'm not enrolled in school.

149. Why not?

150. - Well, because no one made me do it.

151. My mom told my dad to do it.

152. My dad told me to do it. Then he forgot.

153. And if no one's checking on me, I'm not gonna be like,

154. "Ooh, ooh, someone enroll me in school.

155. Please, someone!" I'm not doing that.

156. School's good, yeah.

157. Today we learned about trickle-down economics.

158. - Great. Hey, is your dad there?

159. - He's at the gym. But he sends his love,

160. and he said for me to tell you he'll call you tomorrow.

161. - Hey, Dewey, how you want your eggs?

162. You can have 'em any way you want

163. - as long as they're scrambled. - Shh, man!

164. Who was that?

165. It's just the exterminator.

166. Exterminator?

167. Are there rats in the apartment?

168. No, no. Termites.

169. Termites?

170. We don't have termites.

171. They're just spraying to make sure that we don't get them.

172. - We know you don't like bugs. - Yeah, I hate them.

173. I told you, if you ever see a bug on me,

174. don't tell me, just knock it off.

175. Because I'll freak out.

176. - I know, Mom. - All right.

177. Well, our car's on a boat on the way to California.

178. I'm gonna fly out there

179. and pick it up and drive it to Nashville, okay?

180. So I'll see you two on Saturday.

181. - Okay, see you then. Love you.

182. - Love you too, honey. Bye.

183. ran out of paper plates,

184. so it's eggs a la "Road & Track."

185. Hey, how's moms doing?

186. - Good. She gets here next week.

187. Oh, damn. So soon.

188. Well, it's been great having you, roomie.

189. - She's not here yet. How about

190. we skip the toilet eggs and go have some fun?

191. - I mean, I reckon I could throw 'em in the fridge.

192. - Mm-hmm.

193. Yeah. What the hell?

194. Let's tear it up.

195. Didn't it bother you

196. not telling your mom what was really going on?

197. - It did. It really did.

198. But look, Randall, I didn't wanna worry her.

199. And I knew my dad was gonna deliver before she got there.

200. I mean, he's a showman, right? So he likes a dramatic finish.

201. - So in the meantime, you were just gonna have some fun?

202. Oh, come on, man.

203. I was 15 years old in a brand-new city,

204. a great city, practically unsupervised.

205. I mean, what would you do?

206. Would've had fun.

207. Come on. Like what?

208. - I don't know, like watch movies—

209. - Uh-huh. Go out, though?

210. - Eat candy and stuff and have a lot of fun.

211. Sounds fun, man.

212. - Yeah. - Wow.

213. She's really good.

214. Oh, yeah.

215. Everyone's really good in Nashville, Dewey.

216. You got a dream, this is where you come.

217. What's your dream?

218. To not be poor.

219. That's it, brother. All right.

220. Hey, suck it, Bruno!

221. - You know, I suggest you shut your pencil neck up

222. 'fore my bodyguard here whoops your ass.

223. - What are you do— - Go with it.

224. Oh, my God. Oh, he's tall.

225. Oh, I know him, and I didn't even know

226. he was that tall. Way tall.

227. I mean, that's a—he looks a little bit bigger than you.

228. Where you going?

229. You scraped your chair back, and he almost pissed his pants.

230. - Whoo!

231. Oh, boy, I'm about to get a whole hell

232. of a lot more mouthy with your imposing self by my side.

233. - So Bruno and I started hanging out

234. pretty much all the time.

235. - Hey, you sure you don't mind driving?

236. - You kidding? I love driving.

237. - Good, 'cause I love drinking beer.

238. - While my dad was on the road, I was on my own

239. until my mom got there to do pretty much whatever I wanted.

240. - Nice of your girlfriend to let you wear one of her hats.

241. What do you mean?

242. Excuse me.

243. - Oh, I wasn't— - I just have to say,

244. you have the voice of an angel.

245. - Oh, okay. Thank you.

246. Sorry if this seems forward,

247. but, uh, do you wanna go grab a drink?

248. I've noticed you're not married.

249. - I'm 15. - Not again!

250. Why are all the beautiful men 15?

251. - And, of course, my dad came back

252. to wrestle for Lawler whenever the king needed him.

253. All right, Downtown Bruno.

254. Tell everyone about this new wrestler

255. you're managing making his debut on the show today.

256. Oh, man.

257. You talking about this man right here?

258. This guy right here is Crusher Yurkov.

259. 6'4," 400 pounds

260. of romping, stomping tattooed destruction.

261. I found this man in an alleyway head-butting a dumpster.

262. And let me tell you something, Jerry Lawler.

263. That hunk of metal got off a lot easier

264. than Rocky Johnson will.

265. - Hey, speak of the devil. Rocky Johnson's here.

266. Downtown Bruno, you weasel.

267. I'll whoop your ass

268. and then whoop the beef out this meatball sub

269. that just rolled in here.

270. You don't compare me to food.

271. - They're not even waiting for the ring.

272. - These two wanna kill each other!

273. - Are you crazy? - Wait for the ring!

274. - Oh, my God! - So yeah, I'd say

275. my dad and I were both killing it out there.

276. It must have hurt.

277. I don't think it hurts

278. more than any other place.

279. - A skull tattoo? No way!

280. - That hurts way more than— - Hey.

281. Rocky? Crusher. Crusher Yurkov.

282. We met earlier when I tried to strangle you.

283. - I remember you, Crusher. - Oh, good, good.

284. Hey, sorry for the interruption.

285. I just wanted to say

286. it was a real honor to wrestle you today.

287. Oh, wow. Thank you.

288. Hey, this is my son, Dwayne.

289. Nice to meet you.

290. Me and my dad were actually just talking about you.

291. - Yes. - Did your skull tattoo hurt?

292. Terribly.

293. Hey, I'm actually a huge fan of you and Tony Atlas.

294. "Soul Patrol" nerd, right here.

295. - Hey, I appreciate that, brother.

296. - Watching Tony in "WrestleMania 2"...

297. it just wasn't the same without you.

298. You know, I always felt like you did 99%

299. of the real wrestling in the ring.

300. You see this, Dewey?

301. We got ourselves a student of the game.

302. - Yes, sir. Vince McMahon sent me down here

303. to develop my skills, and maybe hopefully, one day,

304. he'll call me up to the WWF.

305. - WWF? Nice. - Yeah.

306. - You know, I always thought you had

307. a lot more left to do there.

308. You know, too bad about that whole Saudi Arabia thing,

309. you know, such freaky timing.

310. Hey, I saw an opportunity

311. to wrestle for another promoter, and I took it.

312. There's no law against trying

313. to make some more money for your family.

314. - No, of course, I-I just meant it was bad luck—

315. Man, I don't need luck.

316. - We make our own luck. - I-I mean no disrespect.

317. - That's fine. Don't go spreading rumors.

318. Hey, brothers.

319. We'll have to hitch a ride to Nashville.

320. Looks like one of the crazy fans slashed my tires.

321. - Damn! Congrats, Bruno.

322. You're getting some serious heat.

323. - I know. People hate me so much.

324. Isn't it great?

325. Hey, you can't handle my heat,

326. stay outta my bathroom kitchen.

327. Hey, there.

328. There are my guys!

329. - Mom - Hey!

330. - My goodness. It's so great to see you.

331. - I've missed you. - Oh, we missed you too, baby.

332. - I didn't think you were getting in until Saturday.

333. - It is Saturday! That's why I came straight here

334. because I know you always shoot Jerry's shows on Saturday.

335. - Yes, we do. - Hi, Bruno.

336. - Hey, Ata. Uh, this is Crusher.

337. Yeah, I just started managing him a couple weeks ago.

338. Hello, Crusher.

339. Ma'am.

340. Okay. Well, let's go.

341. Can't wait to see our apartment.

342. - Great. Let's go see the apartment.

343. But you've been driving for a long time, babe.

344. I'll take your car.

345. Dewey, you can ride with Bruno and y'all follow us.

346. Yeah, that's a good idea.

347. The car is loaded with boxes and souvenirs and fireworks.

348. The open road was basically a 2,000-mile strip mall.

349. Yeah.

350. It's just that...

351. my tire slash, remember?

352. Um...

353. Thanks for the ride.

354. - Yeah, no problem. It's a rental.

355. So, uh, where are we going?

356. I don't know.

357. Bruno?

358. No idea, brother.

359. Maybe he got us a place.

360. Maybe he's just taking us there to surprise us.

361. Maybe!

362. Yeah, yeah, maybe.

363. Hey, did I ever tell you your dad was the one

364. who encouraged me to get into the wrestling business?

365. He must have seen something in a short, skinny white kid

366. who could talk circles around a preacher.

367. And believe me, he was the first.

368. He said to me, "You know what, Bruno?

369. I'm gonna call Jerry Lawler for you."

370. And he did. Changed my life forever.

371. Your dad is a good man.

372. Ooh.

373. That's not good.

374. - I don't think he got the place.

375. - Nope. Maybe not.

376. Maybe not.

377. - Babe, baby. Come on.

378. - Where the hell were we going? Where were you even driving to?

379. Long John Silver's!

380. I was gonna tell you on the way I didn't get an apartment

381. then smooth it over with some fish.

382. - Some fi—why didn't you just get an apartment?

383. You had one job!

384. - Hey, I happened to have a wrestling job,

385. a very real job that takes me all over this territory

386. to make money for this family.

387. - You told me he had an apartment.

388. You said the exterminator was there!

389. - He said he was gonna get a place before you got here.

390. - So where have you two been living?

391. I'm here and there, you know,

392. in and out of town, just bouncing around, really.

393. Bouncing around?

394. - And I've been staying with Bruno.

395. - Heyo. - With Bruno?

396. If you don't mind, gentlemen,

397. I'm just gonna interject real quick.

398. I just wanna say, you know,

399. we have been very responsible.

400. All right? No shenanigans.

401. And even when I've only had a few beers...

402. - Bruno. - Dewey drives us home

403. - super safe. - You're driving?

404. - Barely. - Mostly, he's just

405. - my bodyguard. - What?

406. - Yeah. I mean, only at the rougher bars, of course.

407. - Bruno! - I'm gonna go move the Nissan.

408. Butt's a little too close to the road.

409. - Wait, so who's been taking you to school?

410. - Yeah, Dewey. How is school?

411. - It's summer. - It's October.

412. Are you not in school?

413. - I couldn't enroll myself. An adult needs to take me.

414. I didn't know that.

415. Bruno, why didn't you enroll him?

416. - Well, shoot, brother. I don't know.

417. I guess that's on me.

418. - I can't believe you've both been lying to me.

419. - Dad said he had a plan. - Everyone just take a breath.

420. - He didn't have a plan, Dewey! - Babe, I did have a plan.

421. - That was a tough time for all of us,

422. but especially for my mom.

423. We had so much stuff going on back then.

424. And I've spoken a little bit about this publicly,

425. but this story is about my dad and having good intentions,

426. but still making mistakes.

427. - Well, I can understand why you wanted to believe

428. what he was telling you, though.

429. - Yeah, I mean, this person who's been your hero

430. your entire life,

431. and it's hard to wrap your head around the idea

432. that maybe he's not the person who you think he is.

433. So what happened after that?

434. - Well, first, my mom enrolled me in school,

435. and then she found us an apartment to live in.

436. Hey, this is nice.

437. It will be, yeah.

438. - What do you say we break in

439. cheese, burgers.

440. - It'll just be me and Dewey for dinner tonight, Rocky.

441. It'll just be me and Dewey for dinner for a while here.

442. Oh, come on, baby.

443. I know you're still upset with me—

444. - You can stay with Bruno whenever you're...

445. "bouncing through town."

446. If that's what you want.

447. None of this is what I want,

448. but it's what it is.

449. - Thanks for the ride, Mom. - Of course.

450. - You sure you don't wanna come in, say hi to everyone?

451. - I'm sure. I'll see you at home.

452. - I understood how my mom felt.

453. My dad had let us both down.

454. Ooh! Another hit!

455. And Crusher Yurkov is holding his own

456. against the veteran Rocky Johnson!

457. Looks like Rocky's setting him up for a drop kick.

458. But Crusher as other ideas.

459. Oh, impressive athletic ability for a man that size.

460. The champ looks stunned. He's reelin', folks.

461. The big man's got him right where he wants him.

462. Hey, son, how you doing?

463. Fine.

464. Hey, how's your mom?

465. - That's right, baby! Choke him out!

466. - Hey, miss you, roomie. How's Moms doing?

467. - Hey, that's what I just asked.

468. She's doing fine.

469. - Look, you know your mom and me.

470. We go through our ups and downs,

471. - but we always see it through. - Start the count.

472. - I'll give you a ride home today, okay?

473. Yeah, I don't know.

474. It's only been a week. She's still pretty upset.

475. - What the hell's going on over here?

476. Everyone okay? Nobody's got the clap, right?

477. - The clap? - Yeah. It's going around.

478. Everyone be careful. Take care of your junk.

479. - Look, it's just a ride. I won't come in, I promise.

480. Yeah, okay.

481. - All right, let's get back to work.

482. - Thank you, son. Agh!

483. These two are crazy!

484. So, how's school?

485. - Dad... - What?

486. I just want to talk.

487. What's there to talk about?

488. I believed you when you said you were taking care of things,

489. and it all blew up in my face?

490. - You're right to be upset, okay?

491. I'm upset too.

492. I know I kept you in the dark

493. about all this, but I do have a plan.

494. It just... didn't come together in time.

495. Where are we going?

496. - To show you the reason I didn't get us a place.

497. It's because couldn't get us a place like this.

498. Man, I wanted us to live somewhere good,

499. like back when I was WWF champ. Better, even.

500. - Dad, we don't need a place like this.

501. - I'm gonna get us a place like this, promise.

502. I'll make it happen.

503. I had us on top once before. I'll get us there again.

504. And did you believe him?

505. - I believed that that was genuinely what he wanted to do.

506. - Best intentions. - Exactly.

507. But my dad's choices really put my mom and I in a tough spot.

508. And even though we came to an understanding in that car ride,

509. that was just the beginning of my journey with my dad.

510. And things would get even more complicated down the road.

511. - Hmm. - All right.

512. So we drafted up

513. a media strategy to deal with this.

514. Wrote up a press release,

515. booked you on the Sunday show circuit.

516. But then we were like,

517. "Why the hell are we indulging this jerk?"

518. - Yeah, why would we amplify him

519. and give him an even larger platform?

520. So instead, we think

521. we should destroy him from the shadows.

522. - Whoa. - I'll get our guys started

523. on digging up dirt on Dr. Echo.

524. - Guys, I appreciate this, but we're not gonna do that.

525. After talking with Randall here,

526. I realized that making a mistake

527. with the best of intentions is one thing,

528. but making a mistake with the worst...

529. it's just not me.

530. Yeah, our chat got pretty deep.

531. Hey, uh, Jamie, you get that?

532. I did, because luckily,

533. I didn't destroy the digital card.

534. - We get it, Jamie. You're a hero.

535. All hail Jamie, doer of her job.

536. - You know, but you guys are right.

537. We shouldn't give him a larger platform,

538. and the 24-hour news cycle moves fast,

539. and tomorrow, they'll be on to the next thing.

540. So let's just ignore it and let it die.

541. Okay, sure.

542. I just need to make a call real quick.

543. - You already called your guys, didn't you?

544. I did.