1. - I'm Randall Park
at Freedom High School,Copy !req
2. continuing our
all-access coverageCopy !req
3. of the Dwayne Johnson
presidential campaign.Copy !req
4. - Thank you for joining us
for the official openingCopy !req
5. of the Dwayne Johnson Library.Copy !req
6. Dwayne, we always knewCopy !req
7. that you were destined
for greatness.Copy !req
8. - Nice lady.Copy !req
9. She made me sound good,
but none of it was true.Copy !req
10. I mean, the only thing
that people saidCopy !req
11. I was destined to do was time.Copy !req
12. - That's good.Copy !req
13. - As we all know,
nobody's perfect,Copy !req
14. and we all screw up.Copy !req
15. I just happened to screw up
a little bit more than most.Copy !req
16. As a matter of fact, Randall,
when I first got hereCopy !req
17. to Freedom High School,
I was a hardcore shoplifter.Copy !req
18. - Mm-hmm.Copy !req
19. Hey, just so you know,Copy !req
20. you guys have
to come in tighterCopy !req
21. when he says stuff like that.Copy !req
22. Well, it's too late now.Copy !req
23. It's too late.
Back up.Copy !req
24. Just anticipate.Copy !req
25. Uh, continue.Copy !req
26. - Yeah, so we moved here
to Bethlehem from NashvilleCopy !req
27. because my dad wasn't wrestling
for Vince McMahon anymore.Copy !req
28. - That's your father...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
29. "Soul Man" Rocky Johnson!Copy !req
30. - Nice, man. Good job.Copy !req
31. Give me some.
- All right.Copy !req
32. - You practiced that,
didn't you?Copy !req
33. - I did.Copy !req
34. I don't know if I mentioned it,
but I used to be an actor.Copy !req
35. - You have.
- I have? Okay.Copy !req
36. - Yeah, yeah, multiple times.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
37. - But back to my parents.
- Yes, yes.Copy !req
38. - So money wasn't coming in
the way it used to,Copy !req
39. so he and my mom opened up
a cleaning business.Copy !req
40. I had a side job
after school slinging pizza,Copy !req
41. but the only thing
I wanted to do was chase girls.Copy !req
42. - Mm.Copy !req
43. And to get their attention,
I thoughtCopy !req
44. that I had to look rich,
hence all the stealing.Copy !req
45. - Candidate Johnson, please,Copy !req
46. remember
our media training session.Copy !req
47. - It's fine, Sandy.
- Yeah, it's fine, Sandy.Copy !req
48. - So my dad was still
trying to wrestleCopy !req
49. any chance that he got,
so my Uncle AfaCopy !req
50. from the Wild Samoans...
- The Wild Samoans.Copy !req
51. - Yeah, that's good.Copy !req
52. - Yeah.
- Borderline inappropriate.Copy !req
53. - Oh, okay.
- It was the tongue.Copy !req
54. - Yeah. Oh, sorry.
- Yeah.Copy !req
55. So my Uncle Afa
hooked my dad upCopy !req
56. with a promoter
who got him bookedCopy !req
57. on some local shows,
which was great.Copy !req
58. I mean, we needed the money,
but my dadCopy !req
59. was still very much relivingCopy !req
60. his glory days
of the early '80s.Copy !req
61. - Listen to that crowd!Copy !req
62. - Whoo!Copy !req
63. - Kick to the midsection.
Johnson taking a beating!Copy !req
64. Rocky making
an incredible comebackCopy !req
65. against the Nature Boy.Copy !req
66. Here comes
the big "Soul Man" right hand!Copy !req
67. - He holds Flair up!Copy !req
68. One, two...Copy !req
69. - Three,
and the crowd goes wild!Copy !req
70. - Yeah, right, they did!Copy !req
71. - I remember seeing
that match on TV.Copy !req
72. - Flair's a great guy.
Just don't touch his hair.Copy !req
73. But do compliment
his ring entrance robe.Copy !req
74. Brother spends a ton
on feathering.Copy !req
75. Dewey, did you put
an empty egg cartonCopy !req
76. and an empty milk carton
back in the fridge?Copy !req
77. - How are you supposed to know
we're out of stuffCopy !req
78. if I don't put the empty
cartons in the fridge?Copy !req
79. - How 'bout you write it down
on the grocery list?Copy !req
80. - Because when I do,
you ignore it.Copy !req
81. Like, here I wrote "Coke,"
and you boughtCopy !req
82. Sim's Market Brand Sugar Cola.Copy !req
83. - Do you think I want Sim's
Market Brand Milk AlternativeCopy !req
84. for my coffee?
No.Copy !req
85. I want
the purple half-and-half,Copy !req
86. but nobody here is making
half-and-half money, Dewey.Copy !req
87. We're making
Sim's Market Brand money.Copy !req
88. Gotta take a shower.
I've got a new client.Copy !req
89. I can't be late.Copy !req
90. - Hello?
- Hey, Son.Copy !req
91. - Hey, Dad.
- Is your mom there?Copy !req
92. - She's in the shower.Copy !req
93. She's working
for that new client today.Copy !req
94. - All right, let her know
I'm running a little late.Copy !req
95. I lost track of timeCopy !req
96. storytelling for the guys
at the gym.Copy !req
97. - Mom seems real stressed, Dad.Copy !req
98. - Hey, when I get home,
I'll give herCopy !req
99. a Rocky Johnson foot massage.Copy !req
100. That'll take care of it.Copy !req
101. Well, since I waited
20 minutesCopy !req
102. for the phone to open up,Copy !req
103. let's not waste it.Copy !req
104. Hey, how's it going
with that girl you like?Copy !req
105. - Fine-Ass Karen—and not good.Copy !req
106. I want to ask her out,Copy !req
107. but so does every other guy
in school.Copy !req
108. - Well, son,
you are not every other guy.Copy !req
109. You just need to figure out
what you can offer herCopy !req
110. that no one else can.Copy !req
111. - My Hans and Franz impression
from "Saturday Night Live."Copy !req
112. - I don't know
what that means, son,Copy !req
113. but you gotta step
your game up.Copy !req
114. Be confident.
Girls like swagger.Copy !req
115. And don't wait
to make your move.Copy !req
116. For every second you hesitate,
there's another guy out thereCopy !req
117. telling your girlCopy !req
118. she'd look better
with less makeup.Copy !req
119. - So I wasn't gonna hesitate.Copy !req
120. - Dewey, I'm leaving.
See you tonight!Copy !req
121. - Okay, Ma, see you later!Copy !req
122. - This girl Karen
thought I was rich,Copy !req
123. and I sure as hell wasn't,Copy !req
124. so I had to impress herCopy !req
125. with the best
stolen clothes I had.Copy !req
126. That's right,
those are Girbaud jeans.Copy !req
127. - I had my gear.Copy !req
128. Now I just had
to catch my ride.Copy !req
129. - Hello, hello.Copy !req
130. Uh, sir, you need to be
a student to ride this bus.Copy !req
131. - I am a student.Copy !req
132. - You got some stones, pervert.Copy !req
133. - Gabe, yo,
tell him I'm a student!Copy !req
134. - Are those Girbaud jeans?Copy !req
135. - So I think Mondays
and Thursdays to start,Copy !req
136. and if you have any questions
or you need anything,Copy !req
137. just let me know.Copy !req
138. - Okay. Thank you, Mrs. Ariti.Copy !req
139. - Oh, please, call me Diane.
Do you have any kids?Copy !req
140. I have a daughter, supposedly.Copy !req
141. She hasn't called
in three weeks.Copy !req
142. I'm learning to cook Indian,
but I can't find the spices!Copy !req
143. So if it hadn't been
for that second margarita,Copy !req
144. you'd be looking at
Mrs. Kelsey Grammer right now.Copy !req
145. And I just don't think
I'm a good hugger!Copy !req
146. Do you think
I should get a facelift?Copy !req
147. Be honest.Copy !req
148. I have a shrimp allergy!Copy !req
149. Clark got me this
for my birthday.Copy !req
150. He was always getting me
expensive, insulting gifts.Copy !req
151. Bicycle, gym membership,
diet pills—Copy !req
152. - Oh, my God,
those aren't real problems.Copy !req
153. Paying rent,
keeping the lights on,Copy !req
154. those are real problems.Copy !req
155. - Oh, right.Copy !req
156. Of course.Copy !req
157. I could pay you
a dollar more an hour.Copy !req
158. - No, no, that's not
what I was asking.Copy !req
159. - I just used to pay
what my neighbor paid,Copy !req
160. but she moved—Copy !req
161. - Let's just forget
I said anything.Copy !req
162. - I can't believe
he wouldn't let me on the bus.Copy !req
163. I was so late
that I missed homeroomCopy !req
164. with Fine-Ass Karen.Copy !req
165. She didn't get to see
the new jeans I stoleCopy !req
166. or my Hans and Franz.Copy !req
167. What if I miss
my window with her?Copy !req
168. - Dude, honestly, I don't know
if your jeansCopy !req
169. or your impression
would have mattered.Copy !req
170. Karen has crazy high standards.Copy !req
171. - Take me home.Copy !req
172. Take me home.Copy !req
173. - Take me home.Copy !req
174. - Um, we're at your house.Copy !req
175. - Oh.Copy !req
176. Well, take yourself home then.Copy !req
177. My God.Copy !req
178. It's the Karens!
- What?Copy !req
179. - It's the Karens!
- No, here?Copy !req
180. - Fine-Ass Karen.Copy !req
181. Big Hair Karen.Copy !req
182. Colorblind Karen.Copy !req
183. - And Bonnie.Copy !req
184. They made her an honorary Karen
'cause it's her car.Copy !req
185. - Yo, they're coming.
They're coming in.Copy !req
186. - Yo!Copy !req
187. - What are we doing?
- Yo, I don't know man!Copy !req
188. Just be cool!Copy !req
189. I'm gonna put
these peppers on a plate.Copy !req
190. - The universe was giving me
a second chance,Copy !req
191. and like my dad said,
I had to be confident.Copy !req
192. - Yo, let's go over.Copy !req
193. - I can't, man.Copy !req
194. I squirted pepper juice
in my eye.Copy !req
195. Ugh. Ow.Copy !req
196. Go over there
for the both of us.Copy !req
197. Hello, ladies.
- Hi, Tomas.Copy !req
198. - Oh, yeah, I also told her
that my name was Tomas.Copy !req
199. - Missed you in homeroom.
- Oh, I was shaving.Copy !req
200. Lost track of time.Copy !req
201. - So why are you
even working here?Copy !req
202. I thought Karen
said you were rich.Copy !req
203. - Oh, this isn't a money job.
This is a build-character job.Copy !req
204. - I totally get it.Copy !req
205. My cousin's
a construction worker.Copy !req
206. - My dad's
a professional wrestler.Copy !req
207. That's where our family money
comes from.Copy !req
208. - Oh, yeah?Copy !req
209. My dad bought WrestleMania III
on pay-per-view.Copy !req
210. Was your dad in that?Copy !req
211. - No, but he's friends
with all the guys who were.Copy !req
212. I once spent a beautiful day
with André the GiantCopy !req
213. when I was a kid.Copy !req
214. - Fezzik!Copy !req
215. That's his character's name
in "The Princess Bride."Copy !req
216. - Well, that's interesting.Copy !req
217. Not what Bonnie said,
but what you said.Copy !req
218. The last guy I dated's dad
was vice presidentCopy !req
219. for the acquisitions
of—who cares?Copy !req
220. So boring.Copy !req
221. - You know, I was
actually talking about youCopy !req
222. with my dad this morning.
- What?Copy !req
223. No, you weren't.
- I was.Copy !req
224. I told him I wanted
to ask you out.Copy !req
225. You know what he told me?
- What?Copy !req
226. - He told me to offer you
what the other guys can't.Copy !req
227. - Oh, yeah, and what's that?Copy !req
228. I'm Hans.Copy !req
229. I'm Franz.
And we want to pump you up.Copy !req
230. - I love Hans and Franz.
Call me later.Copy !req
231. - The "Soul Man" has
withstood the onslaughtCopy !req
232. by Roddy Piper and is now
all over the rowdy one!Copy !req
233. Here comes
the signature drop kick!Copy !req
234. Is it over?Copy !req
235. One, two...Copy !req
236. - Three, the crowd goes wild!Copy !req
237. Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!Copy !req
238. - Like I said,
I don't really watch wrestling.Copy !req
239. - Sure you do.Copy !req
240. Let me tell you
about this other time.Copy !req
241. So I had this brother, right?Copy !req
242. - Well, I feel awful.Copy !req
243. I snapped
at my new client today,Copy !req
244. so now I'm making her
apology musubis.Copy !req
245. - Do like we do out here
in Hawaii.Copy !req
246. Send mangoes,
the fruit of forgiveness.Copy !req
247. - There he is.
I did what you said.Copy !req
248. I stepped to Karen
with confidence,Copy !req
249. and she gave me her number.Copy !req
250. - Oh, that's great, son.Copy !req
251. I told you that would work.Copy !req
252. - Gonna call her tonight
after I work outCopy !req
253. so I can say,
"I just worked out."Copy !req
254. - Smooth as hell, son.
Keep your foot on the gas.Copy !req
255. Don't let up.Copy !req
256. - Rocky, did that promoter
pay you yet?Copy !req
257. - Uh, no, we got a match
on Saturday.Copy !req
258. Office said
he's gonna pay us then.Copy !req
259. - Where's your match
on Saturday?Copy !req
260. - North Hampton College.
Sold out.Copy !req
261. - Really?
- Totally sold out.Copy !req
262. Oh, I'm gonna blow their minds.Copy !req
263. Like that time I went up
against Paul Orndorff...Copy !req
264. - Hello, Dwayne.
How's student life?Copy !req
265. - Hey, Principal Bogg.
It's good.Copy !req
266. - That was for the benefit
of the kids, Officer Johnson.Copy !req
267. I don't want
to blow your cover.Copy !req
268. Any leads on the rash
of locker break-ins?Copy !req
269. - Again, I'm not a narc.
- Of course.Copy !req
270. You can't talk
on school premises.Copy !req
271. I'll make us a reservation
at Morton's Steakhouse.Copy !req
272. You can brief me later.Copy !req
273. Hey, stay safe out there.Copy !req
274. - What?Copy !req
275. Karen, Karen, Karen, Bonnie.Copy !req
276. - You can call me Karen.Copy !req
277. - Is it me,
or is he wearing all red?Copy !req
278. - It's you.
- Hi, Tomas.Copy !req
279. Fun talking to you
on the phone last night.Copy !req
280. - Think how fun it will be
when we talk face-to-faceCopy !req
281. on our date.Copy !req
282. - Karen, you didn't tell us
he asked you out.Copy !req
283. - He didn't, Karen.
It's happening right now.Copy !req
284. - No fricking way.Copy !req
285. - My dad is wrestling
at North Hampton CollegeCopy !req
286. on Saturday.Copy !req
287. It's sold out,
but I can get us in.Copy !req
288. Snag us some VIP passes,
hang backstage.Copy !req
289. - That would be
pretty exciting.Copy !req
290. I've never seen a live show.Copy !req
291. See, Kevin?
That's how you do it.Copy !req
292. - Mmm.Copy !req
293. They taste like hope
for a better future.Copy !req
294. - Thank you for these,
but you really didn't have to.Copy !req
295. - It's the least I could do
after how I spoke to you.Copy !req
296. It's not an excuse,
but my husband's been havingCopy !req
297. work issues,
and money's been tight.Copy !req
298. Anyway, I'm sorry.Copy !req
299. - I'm sorry too.Copy !req
300. Ever since my daughter
left home and my divorce,Copy !req
301. I've been a little lonely.Copy !req
302. I guess I got overexcited
at having company.Copy !req
303. - Family tests you whether
they're here or they're gone.Copy !req
304. - Amen.Copy !req
305. Just like Sally Jessy says,
"We're expectedCopy !req
306. to react to the needs
of the people around us."Copy !req
307. - Who's Sally Jesse?Copy !req
308. - Sally Jesse Raphael.Copy !req
309. The yellow haired hawk
of daytime talk.Copy !req
310. Oh, come with me.
Come with me.Copy !req
311. - And I was like, "No, Bonnie,
a perm would not do wellCopy !req
312. with your face structure."Copy !req
313. And that is how
I saved her life.Copy !req
314. - What would she do
without you?Copy !req
315. - Wow, this place
really is sold out.Copy !req
316. - I'll talk to the guy,
tell him who we are.Copy !req
317. - Here for the flea market?Copy !req
318. - We're here
for the wrestling match.Copy !req
319. - Yep, you're in
the right place.Copy !req
320. That's right between
the vintage coatsCopy !req
321. and French armoires.Copy !req
322. - Now, I knew my dad
wasn't wrestlingCopy !req
323. in packed arenas anymore,Copy !req
324. but he definitely
stretched the truthCopy !req
325. about this venue.Copy !req
326. - Dewey!Copy !req
327. Well, well, well,
and this must be Karen.Copy !req
328. Oh, what a surprise.
- Dewey?Copy !req
329. - My nickname.
- It's a nickname for Tomas?Copy !req
330. - Tomas?
His name is Dwayne.Copy !req
331. - Is this true, Tomas?Copy !req
332. - You said you were wrestling
at a college.Copy !req
333. - Yeah, this is at a college.Copy !req
334. - This is a flea market
next to a college.Copy !req
335. - Commemorative
bicentennial spoons?Copy !req
336. - Ew, I am not buying
used spoons.Copy !req
337. - Vintage T-shirts, young lady?
You a fan of GWAR?Copy !req
338. - Dwayne!
- One sec.Copy !req
339. Look at her, Dad.
She's not the flea market type.Copy !req
340. You know I've been trying
to impress this girl.Copy !req
341. - All right, all right,
I might have hyped it up a bit,Copy !req
342. but the crowd is pumped.Copy !req
343. - There's, like,
ten people here.Copy !req
344. - Now, see, there was 11,
but this woman faintedCopy !req
345. when she heard
I was on the card.Copy !req
346. Yeah, she saw me wrestle
Mr. FujiCopy !req
347. at the Garden years ago.Copy !req
348. Now, that was
a hell of a match.Copy !req
349. - Okay, sure, my dad
stretched the truthCopy !req
350. to make himself look good,
but he was also usedCopy !req
351. to a certain level of success
that he wasn'tCopy !req
352. ready to give up.Copy !req
353. - So Fuji's about to throw salt
in my eyes, right?Copy !req
354. - Dwayne, can we go?Copy !req
355. There is a woman
trying to sell meCopy !req
356. what I think
is a racist syrup jar.Copy !req
357. - Um, we gotta—
- Oh, wait, wait, no.Copy !req
358. You can't leave
before the main event.Copy !req
359. - For sure, we're staying.Copy !req
360. No way we're missing
a Rocky Johnson show.Copy !req
361. - That's my boy.Copy !req
362. - Rocky, showtime.
- Great, thanks, Hal.Copy !req
363. I'll see you two
after the match?Copy !req
364. - No way we're staying.Copy !req
365. There is a man selling
a pile of old baby shoes,Copy !req
366. and it is freaking me out.Copy !req
367. - If you want to leave,
go ahead, but I'm staying.Copy !req
368. - Why?Copy !req
369. - He's my dad.Copy !req
370. - Like Karen,
I'm also confused.Copy !req
371. Why did you stay?Copy !req
372. - He's my dad.Copy !req
373. That's it.Copy !req
374. - Wait.Copy !req
375. - And it's really unusual,
I think, to hear womenCopy !req
376. say this—
looks are more importantCopy !req
377. than brains?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
378. - I think I would like
a dumb, hot man.Copy !req
379. Clark was basically
a giant brainCopy !req
380. attached to the body
of an uncooked chicken.Copy !req
381. I'd like a man
who can put his ego aside.Copy !req
382. I love Rocky,
but he always exaggeratesCopy !req
383. to make himself look good
when he doesn't even have to.Copy !req
384. It's exhausting.Copy !req
385. - Still,
sounds better than Clark.Copy !req
386. An uncooked chicken, Ata.Copy !req
387. Oh, I have to go.
- No.Copy !req
388. - Yeah, I still gotta go
to the grocery storeCopy !req
389. and get dinner ready.Copy !req
390. - You have to take time
for yourself too.Copy !req
391. "Find the little joys,Copy !req
392. for they give us
the greatest pleasures."Copy !req
393. - Did you just
come up with that?Copy !req
394. - No, that's SJR.Copy !req
395. She said it to a toothless
woman addicted to crystal meth.Copy !req
396. I recorded it.
I'll show you.Copy !req
397. - Got us some snacks.Copy !req
398. - That's what my family buys
to feed the fishCopy !req
399. when we go to the Poconos.Copy !req
400. Hey, Uncle Afa, Uncle Sika.Copy !req
401. This is Karen.
- Hi, Karen.Copy !req
402. Bye, Karen.Copy !req
403. - Should've gone
white water rafting with Kevin.Copy !req
404. - Okay, yeah, this place sucks,Copy !req
405. but I promise
you're in for a show.Copy !req
406. - In this corner,
the "Soul Man"!Copy !req
407. - Even though my dad
wasn't wrestlingCopy !req
408. in Madison Square Garden
anymore,Copy !req
409. in his mind, he was.Copy !req
410. - And his opponent,
hailing from the ocean,Copy !req
411. the Gull!Copy !req
412. - Ooh, a dirty attack
by the Gull before the bell.Copy !req
413. - And whether it was the Gull
or Rick FlairCopy !req
414. or Roddy Piper,Copy !req
415. anytime Rocky Johnson
got in that ring,Copy !req
416. he went all out.Copy !req
417. - It's so violent in real life.Copy !req
418. - Ah, ah!
Ow!Copy !req
419. - If he doesn't sell
and get his opponent over,Copy !req
420. there's no point
in blowing his comeback.Copy !req
421. - What does that mean?Copy !req
422. - Ow!Copy !req
423. - Stop it!
He's hurt!Copy !req
424. - Rocky reaches the ropes.Copy !req
425. The Gull has to let him go
or be disqualified.Copy !req
426. - Caw!Copy !req
427. - I hate you!Copy !req
428. - Nobody put on a show
like the "Soul Man."Copy !req
429. - Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!Copy !req
430. Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!Copy !req
431. Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!Copy !req
432. - Whoo!Copy !req
433. One, two...Copy !req
434. - Three!Copy !req
435. - Like my dad, I had been
exaggerating the truthCopy !req
436. to make myself look good,
but when I finally got realCopy !req
437. and chose to be there for him
over impressing the girl,Copy !req
438. I somehow got the girl.Copy !req
439. - That was amazing!Copy !req
440. - What did I tell you?Copy !req
441. Nobody puts on a show
like my dad.Copy !req
442. - That was so fun.Copy !req
443. You set the bar high
for our next date.Copy !req
444. - Next date?Copy !req
445. Oh, is that before or after
you go rafting with Kevin?Copy !req
446. - Shut up.
- Ah.Copy !req
447. - Hi, Rocky!
- Hey.Copy !req
448. - Amazing, Dad.Copy !req
449. You put on a show.Copy !req
450. - You were so great,
Mr. Johnson.Copy !req
451. - Why, thank you, Karen.
Appreciate that, son.Copy !req
452. - I've never seen
wrestling live before,Copy !req
453. and it was so much better
than on TV.Copy !req
454. Kind of like that time I saw
Kirk Cameron at the airport.Copy !req
455. - Hey, hell of a match, Rocky.
Hell of a match.Copy !req
456. - Finally, payday.Copy !req
457. Where's the rest?
- That's $300.Copy !req
458. - It was 300 per match.Copy !req
459. I wrestled
three matches for you.Copy !req
460. - No, 300 total.Copy !req
461. - Just give us a second.Copy !req
462. Business.Copy !req
463. - $300?
That's all?Copy !req
464. - Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
he doesn't doCopy !req
465. these smaller shows for money.Copy !req
466. He just does 'em
as a favor to my uncles.Copy !req
467. - Oh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
468. Still, though, you want to keep
these local promoters honest.Copy !req
469. But he makes the real money
at the big shows.Copy !req
470. - Oh, well, I'd love
to see one of those.Copy !req
471. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
for sure.Copy !req
472. I'll take you to the next one.Copy !req
473. Hey, you know,
my dad has a ton of merch.Copy !req
474. You want a hat?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
475. - I'll bring you a hat
on Monday.Copy !req
476. - I've always loved that song.Copy !req
477. - Dwayne said
the show was great.Copy !req
478. - Hey, you know me.Copy !req
479. My worst day
is someone else's best day.Copy !req
480. - Hey, I'm sorry
about the money.Copy !req
481. Hal swore he was—
- Hey.Copy !req
482. $300 is $300.
We could use it.Copy !req
483. But next time, we gotta
make sure you get paid upfront.Copy !req
484. - Definitely.Copy !req
485. Plus this convention in Erie
will bring in some extra dough.Copy !req
486. Pose for pictures,
sign some autographs.Copy !req
487. It'll be great.Copy !req
488. Hey, babe, what's with
this small, purple milk?Copy !req
489. - It's my little joy.Copy !req
490. I put it behind the cantaloupeCopy !req
491. so Dewey doesn't drink it all
in one gulp.Copy !req
492. - Smart.Copy !req
493. No way that boy's
going near a melon.Copy !req
494. - Mm-hmm.Copy !req
495. - That is a sweet end
to the story.Copy !req
496. - Would've been, yeah,
but that's not the end.Copy !req
497. - Unless we want it to be.Copy !req
498. - Sandy, please.Copy !req
499. - Can someone get
this Sandy guy out of here?Copy !req
500. Bitch trying to step
into my coverage.Copy !req
501. - Sorry about that.
- That's okay.Copy !req
502. - You know, Randall, look,
I'm here to be honest,Copy !req
503. and that's why I told you
this story.Copy !req
504. No one's perfect,
and we all make mistakes.Copy !req
505. I just happened to make
a whole hell of a lot of them.Copy !req
506. - Hey, Karen.Copy !req
507. I brought you this.
- Thanks.Copy !req
508. Nice jeans.Copy !req
509. I was just telling everyone
about the match.Copy !req
510. When your dad did
that sunset flip—Copy !req
511. which was badass—Copy !req
512. it, like,
totally changed my life.Copy !req
513. - Ugh, at the flea market?Copy !req
514. - Ugh, yes,
that part was disgusting.Copy !req
515. It was like a cursed mall,
but the show was really fun.Copy !req
516. - Aw, that's awesome, man.Copy !req
517. My neighbor's throwing
a garage sale next week.Copy !req
518. Maybe your dad can
main event that.Copy !req
519. My brother was there.Copy !req
520. He said there were, like,
ten people in the audience.Copy !req
521. There's ten people
here right now.Copy !req
522. This was the audience.Copy !req
523. I mean, it doesn't even matter.
Wrestling's all fake anyway.Copy !req
524. - Oh!Copy !req
525. - Never use the F-word.Copy !req
526. - Wait, so you
knocked him out cold.Copy !req
527. Ah.Copy !req
528. Um...Copy !req
529. we just scooped
everyone in the country.Copy !req
530. - Scooped 'em all.
- Yeah, we did.Copy !req
531. - I think that's a good idea.Copy !req