Xavier: Renegade Angel 1x6

Directed by

John Flansburgh as Computer • Junior Brown as (voice)

Xavier goes back in time by smoking and eating bacon in order to discover his origin.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. WEAK FROM DRIFTING ON

2. THE LONGEST MOSEY EVER RAMBLED.

3. WEEKS WITH NO MEAL OR BEVERAGE.

4. BLISTERING DESERT POUNDING ME TO

5. THE CROSINE-TIPPED BRINK OF

6. INSANITY.

7. YET PERHAPS THERE IS TRUTH IN

8. SAND MADNESS.

9. SAND MADNESS.

10. FEED ME.

11. SAND MADNESS.

12. YOU HATH RAMBLED WELL.

13. THUS I SHALL ANSWER QUESTIONS

14. THREE.

15. WHO AM I?

16. I CANNOT TELL YOU THAT, SIRE.

17. WHERE DID I COME

18. FROM?

19. I CANNOT TELL YOU THAT.

20. COR BLIMEY.

21. YOU HATH ONE QUESTION LEFT.

22. WHY ARE YOU

23. PRETENDING TO BE BRITISH?

24. I HAVE ALWAYS ADMIRED THE

25. BRITISH.

26. YOU ARE OUT OF QUESTIONS.

27. BUT YOUR QUEST HAS JUST BEGUN.

28. WHO ARE YOU?

29. I GUESS IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY

30. ABOUT A CAMEL'S ASS.

31. I AM HUNGRY.

32. COMPUTER. COMPUTER, COME IN.

33. Y-Y-YES, XAV-V-VIER.

34. COMPUTER, I NEED

35. SUSTENANCE TO EAT.

36. T-T-TURN — TURN TO YOUR

37. LEFT.

38. LET ME GET, UH, TWO PACKS OF

39. CIGARETTES BEFORE I GO.

40. I GOT TO WARN YOU — THEY SAY

41. EVERY CIGARETTE TAKES 17 MINUTES

42. OFF YOUR LIFE.

43. WELL, HEY, IF I KEEP SMOKIN'

44. 'EM FAST ENOUGH, I'LL GET

45. YOUNGER.

46. SHOOT.

47. YOU'RE A BAD LITTLE BOY.

48. BESIDES, THEY SAY EVERY SLICE

49. OF BACON TAKES NINE MINUTES OFF

50. YOUR LIFE.

51. I JUST CHOWED ME DOWN A YEAR'S

52. WORTH.

53. SHOOT.

54. YOU'RE A NAUGHTY BOY.

55. I'D LIKE TO PUT YOU OVER MY KNEE

56. AND SPANK YOU SOME.

57. YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS

58. OFF HIM.

59. HIS BOTTOM IS HIS PERSONAL,

60. PRIVATE PLACE.

61. HOW LONG YOU BEEN STANDING

62. THERE, YOU FREAK?

63. WHAT ARE YOU, A CHINAMAN?

64. I WISH I KNEW MYSELF.

65. WE DON'T COTTON TO STRANGE

66. CHINAMEN WITH NO SENSE OF SELF

67. WHO STAND SECRETLY BY FOR

68. INDETERMINATE AMOUNTS OF TIME.

69. GONNA PUT YOU IN A WORLD OF

70. HURT.

71. TAKE THAT!

72. TASTE THE PAIN!

73. TAKE THAT!

74. TASTE THE PAIN!

75. TAKE — TAKE — TAKE —

76. WHOO, BOY!

77. SEE THAT BASKET OF FRIES OVER

78. THERE?

79. WELL, LOOKS LIKE THIS WEEK

80. XAVIER'S GOT HISSELF A BASKET OF

81. PAIN.

82. STOP THE TALKIN'!

83. WHOO, BOY!

84. LOOK!

85. THERE'S BEEN A SIGNIFICANT

86. DISCOVERY AT AN ARCHEOLOGICAL

87. DIG.

88. HERE TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE HAVE

89. DISCOVERED THE OLDEST CAVE

90. DRAWING KNOWN TO MAN.

91. THE FIGURE IS A RATHER UGLY

92. CREATURE, POSSIBLY A CHINAMAN OF

93. SOME SORT.

94. IS THIS FINALLY THE

95. CLUE TO MY MYSTERIOUS ORIGINS?

96. YES.

97. WE'RE GOING TO LOOK CLOSER, TO

98. LOOK DEEPER FOR HIDDEN MEANING.

99. GENTLEMEN, I'VE GOT

100. TO TAKE THIS, GENTLE MEN.

101. LOOKS LIKE YOU AND ME IS ALL

102. ALONE.

103. NOW WHO'S BEING NAUGHTY?

104. FRITTATA.

105. BARRICADE!

106. EASY.

107. EASY.

108. EASY...

109. E.

110. COMPUTER! ANALYSIS.

111. MY COMPUTER IS DOWN.

112. ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS ANALYZING

113. THE BRUSHSTROKES ON IT, I-I-IT'S

114. 46,939 YEARS AND 82 DAYS OLD.

115. I'M GOING TO HAVE

116. TO...

117. GO BACK IN

118. TIME...

119. AND FIND WHO DID THIS

120. PAINTING...

121. AND...

122. WHAT...

123. IT...

124. MEANS.

125. BUT HOW?

126. EVERY CIGARETTE TAKES 17

127. MINUTES OFF YOUR LIFE.

128. EVERY SLICE OF BACON TAKES

129. NINE MINUTES OFF YOUR LIFE.

130. EVERY CIGARETTE TAKES 17

131. MINUTES OFF YOUR LIFE.

132. EVERY SLICE OF BACON TAKES

133. NINE MINUTES OFF YOUR LIFE.

134. CAN YOU DUMB IT DOWN

135. A NOTCH?

136. IF YOU SMOKE AND EAT BACON

137. FAST ENOUGH, YOU CAN GO BACK IN

138. TIME.

139. OOH.

140. YOU ARE A BAD, BAD BOY.

141. SAYONARA, PRESENT

142. DAY.

143. OOH! OOGA-BOOGA!

144. NIMGOK LOOK GOOD.

145. YOU LEAVE THAT BICEP

146. ALONE.

147. THAT'S YOUR PERSONAL, PRIVATE

148. PLACE.

149. OOGA-BOOGA.

150. HOW LONG YOU STAND THERE, FREAK?

151. YOU SOME KIND OF OOGA-BOOGA

152. CHINAMAN?

153. ME PUT YOU IN WORLD OF HURT.

154. TAKE THAT.

155. OOGA-BOOGA.

156. TASTE PAIN.

157. WHOO, BOY!

158. ORDER UP!

159. OL' XAVIER'S GOT ANOTHER BASKET

160. OF PAIN FRIES ON HIS PLATE.

161. AND THE EMOTIONAL KETCHUP IS A

162. BLUBBERING WHALE OF TEARS.

163. I'M NOT CRYING.

164. I'VE GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE.

165. JUST TEARS.

166. WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

167. WHY YOU CRYING?

168. WHAT'S THAT BRUISE ON

169. YOUR FACE?

170. OOGA-BOOGA.

171. WHAT BRUISE ON YOUR FACE?

172. I JUST FELL DOWN THE

173. CAVE STAIRS.

174. OOGA-BOOGA.

175. ME FELL DOWN CAVE STAIRS.

176. I MAY STINK LIKE

177. COCK...

178. BUT I'M NO SPRING CHICKEN.

179. IS IT A HUSBAND? BOYFRIEND?

180. GAL PAL?

181. WHAT'S THE MATTER?

182. PUSSY GOT YOUR TONGUE?

183. MAYBE.

184. MY HUSBAND, HE ONLY DOES 'CAUSE

185. HE LOVE ME.

186. NO.

187. THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I

188. EVER HEARD.

189. MAYBE HE DOES IT BECAUSE YOU'RE

190. STUPID.

191. MAYBE.

192. WELL, IF THAT'S LOVE,

193. THEN I'D LIKE TO MAKE SOME LOVE

194. TO HIS MOUTH.

195. MAYBE.

196. DON'T GET HIM ANGRY.

197. FROM NOW ON, I'M YOUR

198. GUARDIAN.

199. I'LL BE STANDING RIGHT BEHIND

200. YOU.

201. AND IF HE WANTS TO GET TO ME,

202. HE'S GONNA HAVE TO PUNCH HIS WAY

203. THROUGH YOU FIRST.

204. MAYBE.

205. HE DO NOT MEAN TO DO IT.

206. LOOKS LIKE HE'S DONE

207. OVER $1,200 WORTH OF DAMAGE.

208. FAR AS I KNOW, YOU WERE PRETTY

209. BEFORE ALL THIS STARTED.

210. MAYBE.

211. YOUR QUEST IS NEARLY

212. COMPLETE.

213. THE ANSWER OF YOUR ORIGIN IS

214. NIGH!

215. SAND MADNESS.

216. BUT CAN MADNESS HOLD THE

217. TRUTH?

218. COME.

219. ENTER INTO THE WORLD OF HER.

220. WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

221. THIS LAND IS THE PHYSICAL

222. MANIFESTATION OF BRUTE,

223. INARTICULATE RAGE.

224. YEAH. NO DOY.

225. THAT IS THE PEAK OF

226. DISAPPOINTMENT.

227. AND THOSE ARE THE NERVE WORMS.

228. THEY'RE CONSUMING THE CARCASS OF

229. YOUR CONTENTMENT.

230. YOU DID THIS TO ME.

231. THIS IS THE BEACH OF

232. UNBEARABLE FACTS.

233. YOUR BODY STINK LIKE EGG.

234. AND THIS IS THE FOREST OF

235. DADDY'S FIST.

236. OW! DADDY!

237. NO, DADDY.

238. YOU WANTED TO KNOW FROM

239. WHENCE YOU CAME.

240. IF YOU DARE, GAZE INTO THE LAKE

241. OF TORTUROUS TRUTH.

242. THIS IS YOUR MOTHER THE NIGHT

243. YOU WERE CONCEIVED.

244. HEY, EVERYBODY!

245. LET'S GET WASTED TONIGHT AND

246. PARTY!

247. WHO WANTS MORE CHERRY WINE?

248. NO. YOU'RE LYING.

249. THIS IS A LIE!

250. LET ME OUT OF HERE!

251. YOO-HOO! LET ME OUT OF HERE!

252. OUCH.

253. OOGA-BOOGA.

254. ME THINK ME HEAR WIFE IN ME CAVE

255. WITH NOTHER MAN.

256. YOU GET OUT NIMGOK WIFE.

257. GO ON.

258. I NO LONGER FEAR YOUR PAIN

259. FRIES.

260. WHOO, BOY.

261. FOR IN PAIN, I'VE

262. FOUND THE TRUTH.

263. AND EVEN THOUGH PAIN HURTS, YOU

264. NEED TO CONFRONT PAIN IF YOU

265. WANT TO TRANSCEND THE CRUSHING

266. PAIN OF YOUR INNER PAIN.

267. NIMGOK WANT ESCAPE CRUSHING

268. INNER PAIN.

269. OOGA-BOOGA.

270. WELL, LOOK INSIDE

271. YOURSELF.

272. WHY DO YOU HURT PEOPLE?

273. 'CAUSE NIMGOK STRONG.

274. OOGA-BOOGA! NIMGOK TOUGH!

275. BUT WHY DO YOU FEEL

276. THE NEED TO BE TOUGH?

277. 'CAUSE IF ME LET ME GUARD

278. DOWN, OOGA-BOOGA, I GUESS ME

279. VULNERABLE TO GET HURT MESELF.

280. GO ON.

281. OOGA-BOOGA.

282. MAYBE NIMGOK FIGHT BECAUSE WHEN

283. NIMGOK PUNCH SOMEONE,

284. OOGA-BOOGA, NIMGOK GET TO TOUCH

285. SOMEONE.

286. ME ONLY HIT YOU 'CAUSE NIMGOK

287. LOVE YOU.

288. NOW, THAT'S THE

289. SMARTEST THING I EVER HEARD.

290. IF YOU'RE SO TOUGH, TAKE UP THIS

291. FEATHER AND WRITE WHAT YOU FEEL.

292. THAT'S RIGHT.

293. KEEP GOING.

294. THREE... TWO... ONE!

295. NOW, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

296. ME USED TO USE VIOLENCE,

297. OOGA-BOOGA, AS ME PROTECTIVE

298. SHELL.

299. OOGA-BOOGA.

300. BUT NOW ME STOW ME FISTS FOR

301. FLIGHT OF LIFE, OOGA-BOOGA, AND

302. LET ME HEART SCREAM AND YELL.

303. ME LET ME SPIRIT SOAR.

304. ME LET ME SOUL GLIDE AND SHINE.

305. YOU JUST GOT IN TOUCH

306. WITH SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL.

307. WHO? WHO?

308. ME KILL HIM!

309. YOURSELF.

310. BOO-YA.

311. YOU DONE SO MUCH FOR NIMGOK.

312. YOU GIVE NIMGOK PSYCHOSPIRITUAL

313. BREAKTHROUGH.

314. WHAT CAN NIMGOK DO FOR YOU?

315. I'M LOOKING FOR A

316. PAINTING ON THE CAVE WALLS.

317. HAVE YOU SEEN IT?

318. IT LOOKS LIKE THIS.

319. YEAH. YOU JUST MAKE PAINTING.

320. OOGA-BOOGA.

321. XAVIER, MY DATAS SHOW THAT

322. Y-Y-YOU DID THE DRAWING

323. YOURSELF.

324. YOU FIGURED THAT

325. OUT — RIGHT AFTER NUMB-NUTTED

326. NEANDER-BALLS.

327. NOW GET ME BACK HOME.

328. THE BACON IS STILL IN YOUR

329. SYSTEM!

330. IF YOU GET IT OUT, Y-Y-YOU MIGHT

331. BE ABLE TO GO BACK.

332. HE'S A WITCH!

333. GET HIM.

334. I'D BETTER GET THE

335. HELL OUT OF HERE!

336. I JUST SPENT AMERICAN MONEY

337. ON A NAGEL PRINT.

338. PATRICK NAGEL JUST DIED.

339. OH, NO.

340. IT LOOKS LIKE I WENT A LITTLE

341. TOO FAR.

342. PERHAPS THERE IS TRUTH IN SAND

343. MADNESS.

344. SAND MADNESS.

345. FEED ME.

346. I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE

347. THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.

348. WILL YOU FEED ME?

349. LOOK CLOSER.

350. LOOK CLOSER.

351. BYE!