1. God, Alice was being
such a dickhead today, huh?Copy !req
2. You give out
laser-pointer key chains,Copy !req
3. and you expect us to be adult
enough not to play with them?Copy !req
4. I mean, are you thick?Copy !req
5. You were just pointing 'em
at people's crotches.Copy !req
6. That's what they're there for.
That's fun.Copy !req
7. Dude, if she was here right now,Copy !req
8. I've drank enough, to the pointCopy !req
9. where I would go right to her face,Copy !req
10. and I would say,Copy !req
11. "you're dumb and no one loves you."Copy !req
12. I'd say that to her.Copy !req
13. That was really good.Copy !req
14. You should tell that to her face.Copy !req
15. - Yeah, I totally would.
- Through her ear hole,Copy !req
16. which is in her face,Copy !req
17. 'cause I just called her work phone.Copy !req
18. - What?
- Did you?Copy !req
19. - I did.
- It's her voicemail.Copy !req
20. Leave a voicemail.Copy !req
21. Hey, Alice, this is Blake.Copy !req
22. And I just thought
that maybe you should...Copy !req
23. Stick a fork up your butt
and eat poo,Copy !req
24. because you're a dickhead.Copy !req
25. Oh, my God.Copy !req
26. It's so sad how much you love meCopy !req
27. and you look at me from a distanceCopy !req
28. and you get all
♪ juicyCopy !req
29. in your pants.Copy !req
30. You might be the boss,
but you, ma'am,Copy !req
31. - are no leader.
- Yeah!Copy !req
32. And one time I heard you queef.
Slam!Copy !req
33. Get amped on Demamp!Copy !req
34. Cornhuskers rule!Copy !req
35. Tits are rad!Copy !req
36. Not yours though.
I bet they're c-caved.Copy !req
37. You don't know how to delegate.Copy !req
38. You don't know how to motivate.Copy !req
39. And you sure as hell can't encourageCopy !req
40. any kind of innovation.Copy !req
41. Let the boys be boys.
Slam!Copy !req
42. - Go shave your muff!
- Suck it.Copy !req
43. Bitch, you got
too many teeth in your mouth.Copy !req
44. Yo, you look like you smoke,
and I know that you don't.Copy !req
45. So that hits even closer to home.Copy !req
46. I hate you.
I hate you.Copy !req
47. - Yep, yep.
- I hate you.Copy !req
48. I hate you!Copy !req
49. I hate you!
I hate you!Copy !req
50. I hate you!Copy !req
51. I hate you!Copy !req
52. - I hate her.
- Yeah.Copy !req
53. Oh, no.Copy !req
54. Dude.
Dude, the voicemails!Copy !req
55. - Wake up Demamp!
- Hmm?Copy !req
56. Where's Blake?Copy !req
57. - What?
- Blake!Copy !req
58. Yo.Copy !req
59. How did you...Copy !req
60. I don't know.Copy !req
61. Blake, let's go.Copy !req
62. Alice gets to the office
five minutes early every day,Copy !req
63. which gives us 29 minutes
to beat her thereCopy !req
64. and delete those messages.Copy !req
65. That's weird.
I don't even feel hungover.Copy !req
66. I drank, like, 17 beers,Copy !req
67. and I feel way better
than I normal do.Copy !req
68. Yeah, you know,
maybe as you get olderCopy !req
69. you get better at hangovers.Copy !req
70. That has to be a fact.Copy !req
71. Whoa!Copy !req
72. - Jesus.
- What the...Copy !req
73. Guys, we're still drunk.Copy !req
74. We got to take the bus.
Let's go!Copy !req
75. - Yep, I'll meet you guys there.
- Wait, where are you going?Copy !req
76. - Inside. We need beers.
- Wait, no!Copy !req
77. Beers is what
got us in this situation.Copy !req
78. Yeah, and it's
what's gonna get us out.Copy !req
79. We're drunk right now,
and we feel great, right?Copy !req
80. If this hangover kicks in...Copy !req
81. - We're screwed.
- He's right, we have no choice.Copy !req
82. We have to stay drunk
till we get to the office.Copy !req
83. Oh, and I'll getCopy !req
84. my sharper image breathalyzer
key chain from the car.Copy !req
85. That way, we can monitor
our blood alcohol level, guys.Copy !req
86. Yeah! Blood alcohol level!Copy !req
87. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, Adam!Copy !req
88. Let me get tecates
and a couple of limes, okay?Copy !req
89. - You got it.
- Oh, and Adam?Copy !req
90. Thank you for being a true Braj.Copy !req
91. You're welcome, Braj.Copy !req
92. - Stay up.
- I will.Copy !req
93. Always.Copy !req
94. - Come on, let's go.
- Always, man.Copy !req
95. True soldiers, for real.Copy !req
96. - Dude!
- You're my best friend!Copy !req
97. - You're my best friend, dude!
- Come on!Copy !req
98. I love that guy, man!Copy !req
99. - Damn, I forgot a belt!
- Shhh.Copy !req
100. Yo-ba sayo.Copy !req
101. Jillian, it's Anders.
Listen to me.Copy !req
102. I need you
to go into Alice's voicemailCopy !req
103. and delete all her messages
before she gets in today.Copy !req
104. Oh, I would happily do that,Copy !req
105. but it's password-protected.Copy !req
106. What? You're her assistant.Copy !req
107. You don't access to her voicemails?Copy !req
108. Her mom kept leaving
these mean messagesCopy !req
109. about how Alice was a bad daughter,Copy !req
110. so I couldn't take it,
and I finally just called herCopy !req
111. and I said, "look, lady,Copy !req
112. shut your mouth
and find a hobby."Copy !req
113. Ders, I'm fading!
Breathalyze me!Copy !req
114. - She's a grown adult...
- Here it is.Copy !req
115. That looks like a baby.Copy !req
116. Coming through! Hustle.
Whoo!Copy !req
117. Jillian, I just need you
to figure out this password,Copy !req
118. get in there
and delete those voicemails.Copy !req
119. - Tell me you can do that.
- I'd say yeah...Copy !req
120. Considering I know Alice Murray
better than she knows herself.Copy !req
121. It's Alice Murphy, actually.Copy !req
122. Damn it!
I just blew a.09.Copy !req
123. Where is Adam with those beers?
Man, I can't get a hangover.Copy !req
124. You know how I am
when I have a hangover.Copy !req
125. I'm bitchy. I'm very bitchy.Copy !req
126. .10. We are dangerously close
to being hungover.Copy !req
127. Oh, I feel a headache.Copy !req
128. Feel a headache.Copy !req
129. - Oh, here we go.
- Where are the beers?Copy !req
130. They're all gone, man.
They're all gone, man!Copy !req
131. I just saw you drink one right now.Copy !req
132. Yeah, the last one, Ders.Copy !req
133. Think, speak.Copy !req
134. Okay, well, I know we had more
than one beer in the house.Copy !req
135. - No, we had four.
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
136. But there's three of us.Copy !req
137. And 11/2 beers each...Copy !req
138. That's not enough
to get us kablamo-ed.Copy !req
139. But for one person,Copy !req
140. that might be enough
to take us to the level.Copy !req
141. Let me hit this,
'cause I'm feeling ripe.Copy !req
142. Whoa. I'm level...
That's a.25.Copy !req
143. - Holy...
- I'm leveled!Copy !req
144. - Here we go, here we go.
- Hey, right here!Copy !req
145. - Come on.
- Whoa, front of the line.Copy !req
146. Excuse me, folks.
We got an emergency, here.Copy !req
147. Come on, come on.Copy !req
148. Hey, okay,
would you just be a bus angelCopy !req
149. and drive us right to Telamericorp,Copy !req
150. no stops or anything?
We've got a work emergency.Copy !req
151. You got some brats on the bus?Copy !req
152. Or a churro?
I'm starving right now.Copy !req
153. Guys, we're not going anywhere
till everyone's on the bus.Copy !req
154. So sit down.Copy !req
155. Let's go!
Come on!Copy !req
156. Time to go.Copy !req
157. Just follow this laser pointer.Copy !req
158. We got some open seats
right in the back,Copy !req
159. right down there,
if you want to see that.Copy !req
160. Adam, help this guy out
with his money, please.Copy !req
161. - You got money in here?
- Help him out.Copy !req
162. What are you doing?
Stop it.Copy !req
163. Handkerchief. Gross.Copy !req
164. Sir, you're never
gonna catch any fishCopy !req
165. if you take this long, come on.Copy !req
166. Tuck the pole.
Watch your eyes, everybody.Copy !req
167. - What are you doing?
- I'm skitching.Copy !req
168. No, you are not skitching.
Let's go.Copy !req
169. Adam, we will next time,
I promise. Come on.Copy !req
170. - We did it again.
- We did it!Copy !req
171. And I thought
we weren't gonna make it.Copy !req
172. We'll be fine now.Copy !req
173. Once again,
does anybody have any beer?Copy !req
174. Anybody?
Any kind of alcohol?Copy !req
175. - No?
- Thank you all for your help.Copy !req
176. - Yeah. Hey, what the heck?
- Good stuff.Copy !req
177. Excuse me, sir.Copy !req
178. You're not going straight
to the office like I asked you.Copy !req
179. - No, this isn't the Ders way.
- I love the Ders way.Copy !req
180. Why aren't we going the Ders way?Copy !req
181. - The Ders way's a good way.
- Triple-left, center, right.Copy !req
182. You guys never told me
you liked my way.Copy !req
183. I'm glad that you like it.Copy !req
184. It's a good...
Oh, my God! Get down!Copy !req
185. - What?
- Get down! It's Alice!Copy !req
186. Excuse me, sir!Copy !req
187. Listen, we're just
a couple of young bucksCopy !req
188. chasing the American dream,
and we made a big mistake.Copy !req
189. Behind the line.Copy !req
190. Okay, haven't you ever
screwed the pooch?Copy !req
191. You ever wanted a do-over?Copy !req
192. If so, I'm begging you to
go straight to 24th and CrockerCopy !req
193. - without any stops.
- 24th and Crocker?Copy !req
194. - Yeah.
- That's 11 stops.Copy !req
195. So what?
You're perfect?Copy !req
196. I'm looking at the goddamn
mom Teresa in front of me?Copy !req
197. I've told my boss I wanted
to cover herCopy !req
198. in cinnamon toast crunch dust
and then suck her...Copy !req
199. I'm warning you,
if you don't sit down,Copy !req
200. I will have you removed
from this bus.Copy !req
201. I'm okay with that, considering...Copy !req
202. There's a bomb on the bus!Copy !req
203. If we go below 50 Miles per hourCopy !req
204. or don't go directly to Telamericorp,Copy !req
205. - we're all going to explode!
- What did you say?Copy !req
206. I said, "there's a bomb on this bus!"Copy !req
207. - Son, I need to know...
- Oh! Watch out!Copy !req
208. Oh! Whoa!Copy !req
209. Cans! It was just cans.Copy !req
210. It was a Mexi-can.Copy !req
211. Oh, oh, man.Copy !req
212. Oh, he's fine.Copy !req
213. - Oh.
- Hey, he's all good.Copy !req
214. Don't move! Don't move!Copy !req
215. You were just hit by a bus,
buddy. Suck it up.Copy !req
216. Oh, oh, man.
No, I can't do this.Copy !req
217. I can't take it.Copy !req
218. .06.Copy !req
219. I've never been so not drunk
in my life, man.Copy !req
220. - I'm about to be hungover, dude!
- No!Copy !req
221. We are not giving up! Okay?Copy !req
222. We're gonna go in that liquor store,Copy !req
223. and I will buy us some boozeCopy !req
224. to replenish our body with liquor.Copy !req
225. - Yeah.
- Cool.Copy !req
226. Ders, I might need
to borrow a dollar or two.Copy !req
227. - What do you mean?
- I'm not...Copy !req
228. - Feeling...
- Oh, he's passing out!Copy !req
229. - He's wasted!
- I don't feel good.Copy !req
230. - Are you okay?
- S'go... without me.Copy !req
231. - Go without you?
- Yes.Copy !req
232. - Okay.
- We'll be right back.Copy !req
233. Actually, carry me.Copy !req
234. It's very dangerous out here.Copy !req
235. Yeah. We're so close, we're so close.Copy !req
236. All right, thank you, ma'am.Copy !req
237. Don't act like you never
passed out in the streetCopy !req
238. with rollerblades before!Copy !req
239. Come on.Copy !req
240. Energy drinks and beer! Where?Copy !req
241. All over the store.
Everywhere.Copy !req
242. - Hurry up, dude.
- Feel good, then not so good.Copy !req
243. This rock star needs a monster
can of red bull. Now.Copy !req
244. - Oh, God. Oh!
- Just sit down.Copy !req
245. You're good.
Let's get this.Copy !req
246. - Come on.
- Tap it, and there it is.Copy !req
247. Remember that?
It's all natural.Copy !req
248. - What do you need?
- Burrito.Copy !req
249. - Handle that, okay?
- Burrito? Yes, yes.Copy !req
250. A little more of the medicine.
There it is.Copy !req
251. The doctor ordered some go juice.Copy !req
252. The doctor prescribed some go juice!Copy !req
253. There you go.
Drink up.Copy !req
254. What a good little baby.Copy !req
255. - Burritos.
- Check it out... painkillers.Copy !req
256. Let's kill the pain.
Kill the pain in my brain, man.Copy !req
257. Jillian, what's the haps
on the craps?Copy !req
258. It's all taken care of.Copy !req
259. What?
You deleted the voicemails?Copy !req
260. Yep. I did a great job.Copy !req
261. Who is this?Copy !req
262. This is Anders.Copy !req
263. Oh, Ders!
No, I have not started yet.Copy !req
264. - What?
- I'm starting right now.Copy !req
265. I swear.Copy !req
266. I just had to send out
this e-vite to my landlord.Copy !req
267. And then Montez sent out
this funny videoCopy !req
268. of just dads sneezing.Copy !req
269. It's hysterical.Copy !req
270. It's funny, 'cause it's dads.Copy !req
271. Jillian, turn it off,
and get to it, okay?Copy !req
272. We need you.Copy !req
273. - She... what are those?
- They're headache pills.Copy !req
274. We're taking 'em just
in case the beer wears off.Copy !req
275. - Pretty smart, huh?
- Yeah, but that's P.M.Copy !req
276. Yeah, "P.M."
that's "power medicine," man.Copy !req
277. You take it to gain more power
in oneself.Copy !req
278. Guys, those are sleeping pills.Copy !req
279. Whatever, dude.Copy !req
280. I'm gonna go nuke this 'rito.
Cheers.Copy !req
281. Thanks for saving my life.Copy !req
282. Ders, check it out!Copy !req
283. Yo, Ders.
Ders!Copy !req
284. I think I just found our ride
to work.Copy !req
285. You think you can handle
those future babes?Copy !req
286. Dude, get with it, okay?
They're gonna act all bitchy,Copy !req
287. because they know they're gonna
grow up and be hot.Copy !req
288. We can't take a run at 'em yet.Copy !req
289. All I'm saying is, I wouldn't
mind riding that mongoose.Copy !req
290. Come on, dude.
They're like 15, tops.Copy !req
291. I'm talking about the bike,
you sick freak.Copy !req
292. I'm sorry.
You know I'm a Bianchi guy.Copy !req
293. Adam, come on! Let's ride!Copy !req
294. 90 seconds.Copy !req
295. Come on.
We need to go now!Copy !req
296. No.
I'm starving!Copy !req
297. Dude, we're 15 minutes
from losing everything.Copy !req
298. I'm gonna buy this burrito, Ders.Copy !req
299. And then I'm gonna eat it!Copy !req
300. It's just bean and cheese, man.Copy !req
301. Still a burrito, man!Copy !req
302. I hope you know
what you're doing, man.Copy !req
303. Here, come on.
Let's go.Copy !req
304. Oh, I know
exactly what I'm doing, man.Copy !req
305. Hey-hey, young ladies.Copy !req
306. How are you guys doing?Copy !req
307. - Choco tacos. Nice.
- A choco taco, it's perfect.Copy !req
308. It's, like... it's something
that was perfect... a taco...Copy !req
309. And then got more perfecter.Copy !req
310. So, yes, wise selection.Copy !req
311. Whoa, man!
Look at these cool bikes!Copy !req
312. What do you say?
Uh, we're all young adults.Copy !req
313. Want to let us hop on
for a little ride?Copy !req
314. Why don't you guys
go ride each other?Copy !req
315. Yeah? And you should fricking
roll up your pant leg.Copy !req
316. Why?Copy !req
317. Because you can't ride a bike
in jeans.Copy !req
318. Yah! Yeah!Copy !req
319. Boys rule!Copy !req
320. Well, yeah, I don't know, mom.Copy !req
321. Well, I'm not a vet.Copy !req
322. I'm not calling you
every day, mom, becauseCopy !req
323. I don't want to talk
to you every dayCopy !req
324. - because you drive him crazy.
- Oh, the dickhead.Copy !req
325. Where are they?Copy !req
326. Whoa!Copy !req
327. - What?
- Uh-oh.Copy !req
328. - What?
- Future babes.Copy !req
329. They never give up, man.Copy !req
330. They remind me a lot of myself
when I was a future babe.Copy !req
331. You know, my manager at Togo's
always said,Copy !req
332. "you'll never amount to anything."Copy !req
333. But look at me now!Copy !req
334. Look at me now!Copy !req
335. - Hey, Blake.
- What?Copy !req
336. No one asked!Copy !req
337. Get off me.
Oh, my God. We lose 'em?Copy !req
338. I think so.
Clutch driving, Ders.Copy !req
339. Whoa!Copy !req
340. - Whoa!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
341. That was awesome!Copy !req
342. - There's more of them.
- The juice!Copy !req
343. - How'd they find us?
- Ahh...Copy !req
344. - Hey, clerk.
- Down here.Copy !req
345. What are you doing?Copy !req
346. You see that lady over there?Copy !req
347. She's a shoplifter.
She's stealing.Copy !req
348. Tampons.
She's a tampon thief.Copy !req
349. You should interrogate her
for, like, an hour.Copy !req
350. Oh, who am I, you might wonder?Copy !req
351. I'm a citizen-hero.Copy !req
352. Watch this.Copy !req
353. Hi, good morning.
Just the coffee please.Copy !req
354. Just the coffee?Copy !req
355. Why don't you show me your tampons?Copy !req
356. I'm sorry?Copy !req
357. Open the bag and show me the tampons.Copy !req
358. Actually I don't have any, ass,Copy !req
359. because I don't get
my period anymore.Copy !req
360. Why? Why don't you get
your period anymore?Copy !req
361. Uhh...Copy !req
362. I cant see!
Your hair!Copy !req
363. Eat booze, little baby girls.Copy !req
364. All right, I'm gonna turn around!Copy !req
365. - What? What do you mean?
- Keep pedaling! Aah!Copy !req
366. Whoo!Copy !req
367. Hi.Copy !req
368. I hope these future babes
brought their tongues.Copy !req
369. Why, dude?Copy !req
370. Because they're about to taste laser.Copy !req
371. Come on, get your mind out
of the gutter, you sick freak.Copy !req
372. I don't know.Copy !req
373. I got one!Copy !req
374. Eat laser, scummies!Copy !req
375. Yeah!Copy !req
376. Sorry, chica.Copy !req
377. Your ass is about to get kick-assed.Copy !req
378. - Oh, no!
- What?Copy !req
379. She put her little thing down.Copy !req
380. Oh, she just flipped me off.
That wasn't nice.Copy !req
381. Good morning.Copy !req
382. Who this?Copy !req
383. Ders-ie, guess who's about
to be skitching?Copy !req
384. - What?
- Oh! Ow!Copy !req
385. - Ow! I slipped a disk.
- Adam? Adam?Copy !req
386. - Yeah.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
387. Are you okay?Copy !req
388. Pfft! Yeah.
Just blading on into work.Copy !req
389. Going green.Copy !req
390. Lot of people without cars,
they blade all the time.Copy !req
391. Jason Bateman blades.
Uh, Shaq doesn't own a car.Copy !req
392. - He blades a lot.
- Yeah, uh...Copy !req
393. Look, why don't you get
in my car, okay?Copy !req
394. I'll give you a ride to work.
You don't look so good.Copy !req
395. Doubt it.Copy !req
396. Hey, give me back my bike!Copy !req
397. Hey, suck my di... ass!Copy !req
398. - Suck my ass.
- Yeah, he said, "ass"!Copy !req
399. Uh-oh, blazer, hold on!Copy !req
400. We're about to bunny hop this muh...Copy !req
401. Y'all ain't gonna be able to make it!Copy !req
402. Oh, Ders, be careful!Copy !req
403. I'm sick and tired of being careful!Copy !req
404. But... aah!Copy !req
405. Fuck you!Copy !req
406. My stepdad's gonna find you
and beat your ass!Copy !req
407. Jillian, hey, how are
we doing with those codes?Copy !req
408. Not good.
I messed up,Copy !req
409. and I accidentally deleted
Alice's outgoing message,Copy !req
410. and now I have to record a new one.Copy !req
411. How does this sound?Copy !req
412. Hi, you've reached Alice.Copy !req
413. I'm Alice, and this is my voice,Copy !req
414. and I'm the boss.
Leave a message.Copy !req
415. Are you sure you're okay?
'Cause you seem really tired.Copy !req
416. Hmm? Aah!Copy !req
417. I'm ready for work.Copy !req
418. I just took a bunch
of power medicine,Copy !req
419. so I'm... ready for action.Copy !req
420. Actually, you know what?Copy !req
421. You might want to go this directionCopy !req
422. instead of directly that way.Copy !req
423. It's a quicker route.Copy !req
424. Yeah, that's the complete
opposite directionCopy !req
425. of the office.Copy !req
426. Yeah, I know, I know that.Copy !req
427. It's the scenic.
Do you like beauty?Copy !req
428. There's a volcano over there.Copy !req
429. It's a new one.
It just sprouted.Copy !req
430. In Rancho Cucamonga?Copy !req
431. Yeah, I don't know
if you know our new catchphrase,Copy !req
432. but it's "Rancho Cucamonga,
let's get prehistoric."Copy !req
433. Hello, you've reached Alice.
I'm the boss,Copy !req
434. and I'm very angry most of the time.Copy !req
435. I can't answer, 'cause I'm the boss.Copy !req
436. Did I mention that?
I'm Alice.Copy !req
437. How was that, Blake?Copy !req
438. Jillian, you're the best.Copy !req
439. - Blake!
- Blake! Whoa, dude!Copy !req
440. - What, man? I'm here.
- Dude, wake up!Copy !req
441. - Come on, man.
- The pills...Copy !req
442. So I know I was really tough
on you guys yesterday,Copy !req
443. and I just wanted
to say how sorry I was.Copy !req
444. It's just been kind
of a nightmare of a week.Copy !req
445. My sister just found out
these test results,Copy !req
446. and it could be really serious.Copy !req
447. Dude, wake up!Copy !req
448. I can't see!Copy !req
449. Move your hair!
I can't see!Copy !req
450. - Move your hair.
- Move your hair!Copy !req
451. Oh,
Blake?Copy !req
452. Are you o...Copy !req
453. Ders, where are you going?Copy !req
454. Where are you go...Copy !req
455. Okay, Blake, I'm gonna call someone.Copy !req
456. Ders!
Ders, where are you? Okay.Copy !req
457. All right, what are we doing?Copy !req
458. What are we doing!Copy !req
459. - Jillian!
- I'm close.Copy !req
460. I've got her birthday,
social security number,Copy !req
461. ATM, height, weight,
skull circumference.Copy !req
462. - Move!
- What are you doing?Copy !req
463. - The only thing I can do.
- Holmvik!Copy !req
464. Put it down.Copy !req
465. Put it...
I said...!Copy !req
466. Zzz!Copy !req
467. Hup!Copy !req
468. Aah!Copy !req
469. So I know all this
might sound weird to you,Copy !req
470. but to me it's just OCD, you know.Copy !req
471. And I'm not suffering from it,
Alice, I'm living with it.Copy !req
472. Right.Copy !req
473. So your OCD makes you weigh
people's phones?Copy !req
474. Yeah.
And that's what I was doing.Copy !req
475. Yours is about, uh,
12 fluid ounces, give or take.Copy !req
476. That's fascinating.Copy !req
477. Hey, why don't you go out
into the parking lotCopy !req
478. and take care of your dumb-ass friendsCopy !req
479. who are asleep there.Copy !req
480. - That'd be great, champs, okay?
- Very good. Thank you.Copy !req
481. If you catch me weighing
anybody else's,Copy !req
482. just give me like a...
We'll figure it out.Copy !req
483. Hey, wait!Copy !req
484. Were you trying
to listen to my messages?Copy !req
485. This is saying I'm locked
out of the system for 24 hoursCopy !req
486. for entering the wrong password
too many times.Copy !req
487. No, I was, uh, weighing your phone.Copy !req
488. That was me.Copy !req
489. Uh, I was just trying to be
the best assistant I could be.Copy !req
490. Jillian, it's your birthday.Copy !req
491. Really? Today?Copy !req
492. No, my password is your birthday.Copy !req
493. Well, color me flattered.Copy !req
494. Jillian, you set it up, remember?Copy !req
495. Oh, now I do.Copy !req
496. But you never changed it.Copy !req
497. Could've changed it.Copy !req
498. Didn't.Copy !req
499. Jillian, I thought telling youCopy !req
500. to stay the eff away from it
would be enough,Copy !req
501. but apparently it's not.Copy !req
502. So I'm just gonna tell you,
if you go near my phone again,Copy !req
503. you'll be back washing dishes
at Shakey's.Copy !req
504. I watched dishes.Copy !req
505. I didn't wash them.Copy !req
506. There should be a warning
right on the label.Copy !req
507. "It's not power medicine.Copy !req
508. You're not gonna gain strength.
You're gonna go to sleep."Copy !req
509. - It's P.M.
- Who woulda thunk.Copy !req
510. Dude, how hard did Alice snap
on us today?Copy !req
511. Crazy, right?Copy !req
512. - Somebody needs to get twirked.
- Yeah.Copy !req
513. I'm not gonna be the one
twirking her,Copy !req
514. if she treats me like that,
and I'm a good twirker.Copy !req
515. - We know. We hear you.
- You're a great twirker.Copy !req
516. She doesn't even deserve
one ounce of your twirk.Copy !req
517. You got to move your hips
like a figure eight. Damn.Copy !req
518. Yep, there it is.Copy !req
519. She's a freaking trick-ass b-yotch.Copy !req
520. She is, yeah.Copy !req
521. And I almost feel like
calling her up againCopy !req
522. and giving her a piece of my mind.Copy !req
523. Been there, huh?Copy !req
524. I thought of the best one today.Copy !req
525. I was like...
You know how you're always like,Copy !req
526. "oh, man, I wish
I could have said that,"Copy !req
527. after some stuff just happened?Copy !req
528. - Always.
- That's what happened.Copy !req
529. - What was it?
- Do it.Copy !req
530. No, I don't think I...Copy !req
531. You got to, man, if it's that good.Copy !req
532. It's ringing, it's ringing.Copy !req
533. - Shhh, shhh, shhh.
- I can't wait to hear it.Copy !req
534. Hello? Alice?Copy !req
535. Uh, this is, uh, not Adam.Copy !req
536. You are a.Copy !req
537. - You're a.
- You're a dumb.Copy !req
538. - You thought of that today?
- Yeah, earlier.Copy !req