1. Hi. I'm comedian Tom Green
with a special one-time offer.Copy !req
2. Say yes now and receive a caseCopy !req
3. of premium Canadian sausage
for only $39.99.Copy !req
4. Daddy, would you like some sausage?Copy !req
5. - Yes.
- Magnificent.Copy !req
6. Now please enter your credit card info
using your touch-tone phone.Copy !req
7. And there you have it.Copy !req
8. Telecom intelligence negotiating
algorithm, or "Tina,"Copy !req
9. gives callers two offers in a
variety of celebrity voices,Copy !req
10. as you just heard.Copy !req
11. Tom Green? You should have
got Scott Caan.Copy !req
12. - Shut up, he's a huge celebrity.
- Whoa, watch it. Yeah.Copy !req
13. Someone needs to put a muzzle on him,Copy !req
14. - 'cause I hate you.
- Uh, real question.Copy !req
15. If Tina is making the calls,
why are we here?Copy !req
16. Well, if Tina doesn't make the sale
within the first two offers, then...Copy !req
17. Oh, I get it.Copy !req
18. Then we come in and clean bat up.Copy !req
19. 'Cause this cold machine lacks
the soft touch of a human...Copy !req
20. touching a machine.Copy !req
21. It lacks human error.Copy !req
22. And Tina persists
where you would feel intrusive.Copy !req
23. Okay, so what's the catch?Copy !req
24. Well, if Tina does make the saleCopy !req
25. before your assistance is needed,Copy !req
26. you don't get the commission.Copy !req
27. - Just your hourly.
- What?Copy !req
28. Is this a joke?Copy !req
29. Uh, you know, I-I get it.Copy !req
30. Gonna be less work for us,
and we're still getting paid hourly.Copy !req
31. Exactly, thank you, stretch.Copy !req
32. No, you don't get it!Copy !req
33. This is just the beginning, guys.Copy !req
34. All right, if we let
these machines take our jobs,Copy !req
35. next... next, they're
gonna take everything.Copy !req
36. Okay, Blake, you're overreacting.Copy !req
37. Overreacting?Copy !req
38. I'm pretty sure that
I'm underreacting right now.Copy !req
39. Just imagine a future...Copy !req
40. Where robots replace humans,Copy !req
41. evolving to be faster, smarter,
and just way more freaking doper.Copy !req
42. Where humans become obsolete,Copy !req
43. and they're forced
by their ruler, Tina,Copy !req
44. to undergo a cyborg surgery
known as orientation.Copy !req
45. And it'll only be a matter of timeCopy !req
46. before they come for us all.Copy !req
47. Congrats, your bum will soon be on your
very own Swedish massage chair.Copy !req
48. Now please enter
your credit card infoCopy !req
49. using your touch-tone phone.Copy !req
50. - Swedish.
- Wow.Copy !req
51. Cool.Copy !req
52. Another sale stolen by Tina.Copy !req
53. And another one of our commission
checks stuffed into the pocketsCopy !req
54. of Tina's real comfortable
cyber wranglers.Copy !req
55. Oh, yeah, just face it.Copy !req
56. Tom Green is Freddy-got-
finger-raping us all day.Copy !req
57. - Yeah.
- Oh, dude, check this out.Copy !req
58. Look what I snuck past
the last merry maids sweep.Copy !req
59. Thank God.Copy !req
60. That huff, huff...
Huffy white heat.Copy !req
61. - Huff! Huff!
- Except for it's not hot.Copy !req
62. - It's actually very cold, so...
- It's cold.Copy !req
63. Just be careful with it, all right?Copy !req
64. - Pretty cool, I guess.
- Yeah.Copy !req
65. - Ooh!Copy !req
66. - That's crispy.
- That's a nimbus cloud in there.Copy !req
67. I've actually done so much
of this stuff,Copy !req
68. I don't even think it really
affects my brain anymore.Copy !req
69. Is that right?Copy !req
70. Hey, but don't hog it all.Copy !req
71. I know it's
gonna sizzle-fry my brain,Copy !req
72. but, I'm sorry,
this whole impending doom thingCopy !req
73. is really getting to me,
so if I could just haveCopy !req
74. a huff of the hot...
uh... The heat?Copy !req
75. Well, you know, it's...Copy !req
76. Just abandon all hope here.Copy !req
77. - What the heck? What'd you do, man?
- I didn't do anything.Copy !req
78. Mm.Copy !req
79. We didn't do anything!Copy !req
80. Good. That's the way I like it.Copy !req
81. But that's all about to change.Copy !req
82. So, you've finally comeCopy !req
83. to have me slave away in your vagina,Copy !req
84. as your sex slave.Copy !req
85. That's fine.Copy !req
86. I'll have sex with you.Copy !req
87. But I will never love you, Alice.Copy !req
88. I will never love you!Copy !req
89. Step aside, you troll.Copy !req
90. Oh, good one: Troll.Copy !req
91. - Yeah, right.
- I'm here for Blake.Copy !req
92. Oh, 'cause of his hair?
'Cause you're into trolls?Copy !req
93. No. Because it's time
for his orientation.Copy !req
94. Oh, fuck, sorry.Copy !req
95. Alice, please, I haven't
even lived yet, all right?Copy !req
96. I didn't even get to try
Carl's Jr.'s CrissCut fries.Copy !req
97. - Seriously?
- Yeah, you know. I'm an onion ring guy.Copy !req
98. Montez, Waymond, no! Don't!Copy !req
99. - Take me instead!
- Yeah, take him instead.Copy !req
100. I understand that Tina's
what's best for T.A.C.Copy !req
101. and I'm ready.Copy !req
102. I'm ready to become...Copy !req
103. an Oriental.Copy !req
104. No!Copy !req
105. Sorry.Copy !req
106. Strap him to the table.Copy !req
107. I can't be a cyborg, man.Copy !req
108. They don't even have any cool...
they're just idiots.Copy !req
109. They just have metal in their brains.Copy !req
110. If you had, like, a laser dick,
then, yeah, I'd be a cyborg.Copy !req
111. But there's nothing enticing me.Copy !req
112. Look, this is what we gotta do.
We gotta go save DersCopy !req
113. and get the hell outta
this hell, all right?Copy !req
114. Yeah, where are we gonna go, Blake?Copy !req
115. I don't know.
Let's freaking feivel it.Copy !req
116. - Let's go west.
- To the ocean?Copy !req
117. Sh-yeah, right.Copy !req
118. I'm not an ocean dog, okay?Copy !req
119. I'm a city cat.Copy !req
120. All right, fine.
Let me think of another direction.Copy !req
121. - East.
- Yes.Copy !req
122. Let's head east, to the heartland!Copy !req
123. - Yeah.
- Vegas.Copy !req
124. - Vegas, I love it there!
- Right?Copy !req
125. There we go.Copy !req
126. Now, let's ice our brains down,Copy !req
127. and formulate
a well-thought-out plan.Copy !req
128. Wait a minute.Copy !req
129. - What did you just say?
- Hmm?Copy !req
130. Yes, that's it.Copy !req
131. The freeze part,
that's what I was thinking.Copy !req
132. The freeze part.
Dude, you're a genius!Copy !req
133. I don't know.Copy !req
134. using your touch-tone phone.Copy !req
135. Yeah.Copy !req
136. There we go.Copy !req
137. Whoo! Oh! Oh!Copy !req
138. - Oh, sorry.
- That's okay.Copy !req
139. Hey, Adam, what comes after "l"?Copy !req
140. - I don't... I...
- Bow!Copy !req
141. - Oh.
- Shiz-off!Copy !req
142. - Dude!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
143. I'm so excited about this.
We could... okay.Copy !req
144. - We could die doing this.
- Great, let's save Ders.Copy !req
145. We could die, this is exciting.Copy !req
146. I think we're good now. Ooh!Copy !req
147. - Blake! Adam!
- Shut up.Copy !req
148. - Shh, shh.
- We're getting out of here.Copy !req
149. Take us with you!
Take us with you, man!Copy !req
150. - Yeah, save us.
- No, sorry, we can't.Copy !req
151. Yeah, but, um,
we're always gonna remember you,Copy !req
152. and we'll never forget you, so...Copy !req
153. Take this yo-yo.Copy !req
154. It belonged to my father.Copy !req
155. Television set.Copy !req
156. Give it to your sons.Copy !req
157. Very cool.
Cool yo-yo.Copy !req
158. - Thank you, I'm gonna treasure this.
- Don't go.Copy !req
159. - Yep.
- Guys, please don't leave us, okay?Copy !req
160. I cannot survive in here.Copy !req
161. All right, I-I love you, Jet Set.Copy !req
162. But he shit all over the walls.Copy !req
163. - And I can't... this smell...
- You pooped on the walls?Copy !req
164. - I couldn't hold it no more.
- I can smell it now.Copy !req
165. I'm sorry, guys,
we'll come back for you.Copy !req
166. We gotta go.Copy !req
167. Oh.Copy !req
168. It's okay.Copy !req
169. Relax, Holmvik.Copy !req
170. Once you've been oriented,Copy !req
171. all the fear, the emotions,Copy !req
172. they just disappear.Copy !req
173. Then why don't you try it?Copy !req
174. Because I run Telamericorp,
and Tina answers to me.Copy !req
175. Prep the patient.Copy !req
176. What?Copy !req
177. What are you doing?Copy !req
178. What? No!
Oh, no!Copy !req
179. You're changing the molecular
structure of my flesh!Copy !req
180. Please don't!Copy !req
181. No, we're just shaving your body.Copy !req
182. Oh.Copy !req
183. Okay.Copy !req
184. Been there, done that.Copy !req
185. Spa day.Copy !req
186. So, once we get to Vegas,Copy !req
187. thinking about doing
a Cirque Du Soleil showCopy !req
188. based on the music of Nelly.Copy !req
189. - Wait a minute.
- What?Copy !req
190. I mean, if Murphy Lee
and the St. LunaticsCopy !req
191. want to be involved, that's fine.
But it's really... it's Nelly's show.Copy !req
192. Tina's mainframe.Copy !req
193. That's where
the lifeblood's generated.Copy !req
194. Destroying the mainframe
would wipe out the mind controlCopy !req
195. of everybody who's been
oriented-tated.Copy !req
196. Very cool.
We can't get in there, though,Copy !req
197. because we don't have
Alice's collar key.Copy !req
198. So let's just focus
on what I'm saying, okay?Copy !req
199. Let's go get Ders.Copy !req
200. Do you have air force ones?
'Cause you're gonna need those.Copy !req
201. Um, I have G Unit sneakers.Copy !req
202. Once ingested,
this probe will map your body,Copy !req
203. and we can begin the implant process,Copy !req
204. orienting you to Tina's mainframe.Copy !req
205. Yeah.Copy !req
206. Don't worry, you'll pass it soon.Copy !req
207. TMI.Copy !req
208. Position the optical
excavation device.Copy !req
209. Time to scoop out
them eyeballs, stretch.Copy !req
210. No!Copy !req
211. No! No, no, no!Copy !req
212. Watch eyes! Watch eyes!
Waymond, please, please!Copy !req
213. I know you can hear me!
Tell her to stop!Copy !req
214. Don't let her do this!Copy !req
215. Good thing yo-yo strings
are long as hell in the future.Copy !req
216. Whoop!Copy !req
217. Just what do you think you're doing?Copy !req
218. We're escaping to Vegas.Copy !req
219. Unless you want me
to be your sex puppet.Copy !req
220. Put your hand up my ass,
make me talk.Copy !req
221. Come on, let's get out
of here! Let's go!Copy !req
222. Let's move! Let's move!
Let's move!Copy !req
223. Oh, yeah, and, Alice...Copy !req
224. - We quit.
- Yeah.Copy !req
225. Yeah, we quit.Copy !req
226. Come on! Hup!Copy !req
227. After them now!Copy !req
228. Damn it.Copy !req
229. I am not running after them
in these heels.Copy !req
230. Let's head back to the office.Copy !req
231. We'll activate
the probe's tracking signal,Copy !req
232. and then we'll trigger the defense mech,
in case they try to discharge.Copy !req
233. Damn it.Copy !req
234. What are they talking about?Copy !req
235. They fed me this probe thing.Copy !req
236. Oh, my God.Copy !req
237. I can feel it. Oh.Copy !req
238. Oh, God!Copy !req
239. It's too late to abort it,Copy !req
240. which is exactly what my mom usedCopy !req
241. to say about me.Copy !req
242. I'm gonna have to murder you.
I'm gonna have to murder him.Copy !req
243. - No, Adam, no...
- Wait, wait...Copy !req
244. He's not Oriental yet.Copy !req
245. Look at his eyes.Copy !req
246. You could tell he's Oriental
by his eyes.Copy !req
247. But we do got
to get that probe out of him.Copy !req
248. - Oh.
- Oh, God. Ooh.Copy !req
249. I think I know how to get it out.Copy !req
250. - Huh? What?
- How?Copy !req
251. - What are you...
- What are you doing?Copy !req
252. - Yeah.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
253. Tracker on.Copy !req
254. Get to the supply closet now!Copy !req
255. Defense mech armed.Copy !req
256. You hear that? I'm beeping.Copy !req
257. - Yeah, get it out, Ders.
- Get it out.Copy !req
258. - Can you hear it?
- Stop playing.Copy !req
259. I could kill him,
I could still kill him.Copy !req
260. Yeah, man, this is an option.Copy !req
261. Oh, look.Copy !req
262. Oh, my God, it's a tapeworm!Copy !req
263. I've had one of those.
17 feet long.Copy !req
264. Doctor told me I had
to quit eating raw ground beef.Copy !req
265. Which I did.Copy !req
266. For a while.Copy !req
267. It's not a tapeworm!Copy !req
268. It's the thing!
Obviously.Copy !req
269. - Yes, obviously.
- Right, totally.Copy !req
270. Come over here,
and help me get it out.Copy !req
271. - Keep pulling it out of your ass.
- All right, you're okay.Copy !req
272. - I think you... you got this.
- All right, uh...Copy !req
273. All right, here we go.Copy !req
274. - Okay.
- Oh, wait, no, no, no.Copy !req
275. - Not a pretty view.
- Slow down, slow down.Copy !req
276. I think something's coming.Copy !req
277. Oh, yeah, no, that's it.
That's the probe.Copy !req
278. I see something.Copy !req
279. Yep, yep.
Oh, here we go!Copy !req
280. We got some lights.Copy !req
281. Oh!Copy !req
282. - Ooh!
- Oh God!Copy !req
283. We got it!
Destroy it, Adam!Copy !req
284. - Destroy it.
- Yep.Copy !req
285. - Okay. Yeah.
- You get it?Copy !req
286. No, I hear it.Copy !req
287. It's still beeping inside of me.Copy !req
288. We're not done, guys,
it's still in there!Copy !req
289. To the left, hurry!Copy !req
290. And bring them back alive.Copy !req
291. Barely.Copy !req
292. - Yep.
- It's still in there.Copy !req
293. It's still in there.
Okay, okay.Copy !req
294. Round two, here we go.Copy !req
295. Yeah, no.Copy !req
296. - You got it.
- Keep it up.Copy !req
297. Good work.Copy !req
298. Yep, I got it snagged.Copy !req
299. - Oh!
- Boy! Yikes!Copy !req
300. Yes, you're gonna have a case of
"the hemmies" after this one.Copy !req
301. Fissures and hemmies.Copy !req
302. You might never poop again, dude.Copy !req
303. Which would suck for me,
I love pooping.Copy !req
304. It's, like, where I get most
of my reading done.Copy !req
305. Great. You've got them cornered.Copy !req
306. You know what?Copy !req
307. Kill 'em.Copy !req
308. No, guys...
guys, stop!Copy !req
309. Stop, okay?Copy !req
310. I'll just be a cyborg.
Forget it, all right?Copy !req
311. Just stop pulling things out
of my ass!Copy !req
312. Okay, I'll help.Copy !req
313. - Oh!
- There it is! There it is!Copy !req
314. - Oh! Oh!
- Break it! Hurry.Copy !req
315. Break it and destroy it!Copy !req
316. Come on!Copy !req
317. Okay, it's indestructible.Copy !req
318. Don't we have, like, a steamrollerCopy !req
319. or, like, lava or...Copy !req
320. What do we do?Copy !req
321. Wait, what are you doing, you idiots?Copy !req
322. Finish them!Copy !req
323. They're heading down
the South hallway.Copy !req
324. They're
heading towards my office!Copy !req
325. Wait, they're coming for me!Copy !req
326. Get here now!Copy !req
327. Damn it!
It's Bill.Copy !req
328. We're not getting past him.Copy !req
329. He's so deadly.
Look at him.Copy !req
330. Ow!Copy !req
331. Um, mirrors.Copy !req
332. If we can find several mirrors...Copy !req
333. Shh, Adam.
Trying to come up with an idea here.Copy !req
334. Dude!Copy !req
335. Hey, have you guys seen Kill Bill?Copy !req
336. Volume one or two?Copy !req
337. Volume now.Copy !req
338. Aah!Copy !req
339. I got him!Copy !req
340. - Bill!
- No!Copy !req
341. - Oh, sheesh.
- Ugh.Copy !req
342. All right.Copy !req
343. Bill! No!Copy !req
344. Adam, you can't kill them!Copy !req
345. Bill, he's still in there.
He's just under mind control.Copy !req
346. - Yeah.
- Oh, I thought he...Copy !req
347. I thought he was like an evil robot.Copy !req
348. No! Oh!Copy !req
349. You didn't know.
He didn't know.Copy !req
350. Cyborgs are totally different
than evil robots, okay?Copy !req
351. - Think of Robocop, right?
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
352. He would have those flashbacks
to when he was a man.Copy !req
353. Oh, so he's actually...
he's half-human.Copy !req
354. - Yes, he's still human.
- I killed a human!Copy !req
355. - You killed a human, dude.
- Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
356. - Oh, sorry, Bill.
- Yeah.Copy !req
357. Okay, we hop over the fence.Copy !req
358. Hop on a plane, if they still exist,Copy !req
359. and be the kings
of the Las Vegas strap.Copy !req
360. Attention, Jillian and Jet Set,Copy !req
361. prepare for orientation.Copy !req
362. Your time is now.Copy !req
363. Jet and Jill.Copy !req
364. You guys, we got to do something.Copy !req
365. I know what they're about
to go through.Copy !req
366. Uh-uh, no.Copy !req
367. This is a trap.
This is trickery!Copy !req
368. This is Tomfoolery!Copy !req
369. Let's go to Vegas!Copy !req
370. Vegas!Copy !req
371. No, don't you see?
This isn't just about saving those guys.Copy !req
372. It's about taking back Telamericorp.Copy !req
373. Reclaiming the company
that gave us nothing.Copy !req
374. It's a dirty job, but...
Somebody's gotta Mike Rowe it.Copy !req
375. - Hey, Blake?
- Huh?Copy !req
376. Fuck yo speech! Whoo!Copy !req
377. - You had to say that.
- Vegas!Copy !req
378. No! Aah!Copy !req
379. Help!Copy !req
380. Adam, I got you!Copy !req
381. Oh, I gotta...
I gotta get a gif of this!Copy !req
382. Ders... Get... Us... Off!Copy !req
383. Okay, all right.Copy !req
384. Ders, get me off!Copy !req
385. - Oh, my God!
- You think that was funny?Copy !req
386. - I'm sorry.
- You think that was...Copy !req
387. - let me see it!
- I'm...Copy !req
388. - let me see it!
- Sorry.Copy !req
389. Aah!Copy !req
390. Oh, this is funny.Copy !req
391. - Huh?
- This is actually really funny.Copy !req
392. - It's pretty funny, right?
- That was good.Copy !req
393. - Thank you.
- Okay, all right.Copy !req
394. Let's go back and save the day!Copy !req
395. End tyranny!Copy !req
396. Find the switch for the fence!Copy !req
397. Oh, I got a boner for some reason.Copy !req
398. All right, now we find Alice,
and we force her to free the people.Copy !req
399. - Yep.
- Or...Copy !req
400. She forces me to fuck her
or whatever, huh?Copy !req
401. No, Adam, we have to stop her, okay?Copy !req
402. This ends now.
Come on, let's do this.Copy !req
403. Yes, that's a better plan than mine.Copy !req
404. Oh, damn.
Jillian's a fembot.Copy !req
405. - Really?
- Oh, they all are.Copy !req
406. Knuckle up, motherfuggers.Copy !req
407. Mm, why do you have that?Copy !req
408. - Huh? 'Cause.
- Yeah.Copy !req
409. - 'Cause why?
- Why?Copy !req
410. - It was in my butt, dude.
- That was in his anus.Copy !req
411. To study...
Because the, um...Copy !req
412. Just go fight your one,
already, please.Copy !req
413. - Yeah, go, you got him.
- All right, wish me luck.Copy !req
414. - Good luck.
- Whoo!Copy !req
415. Whoa.
Whoo!Copy !req
416. You are a bitch, cyborg Montez!Copy !req
417. You are a bitch!Copy !req
418. Sorry, Jet Set!Copy !req
419. - Yeah!
- Oh!Copy !req
420. - Oh, was that a roundhouse?
- You know it.Copy !req
421. Whatever happened
to roundhouses, dude?Copy !req
422. I don't wanna do this, Jillian.Copy !req
423. - Oh!
- Whoa.Copy !req
424. - Oh!
- Blake, stop messing around!Copy !req
425. I'm not messing around.Copy !req
426. She's crushing my testicles.Copy !req
427. Ow!
Oh, oh.Copy !req
428. Let's see if I can crush
her testicles.Copy !req
429. Oh!Copy !req
430. Oh!
Oh, ow.Copy !req
431. Swim dive!Copy !req
432. Yeah... oh!Copy !req
433. Guys!
The xerox machine.Copy !req
434. Copy that.Copy !req
435. Attack!
Now! Eww, oh!Copy !req
436. Come on, Demamp!Copy !req
437. Triple dude attack!Copy !req
438. Oh!Copy !req
439. Oh, nice.
Come on, let's go!Copy !req
440. - All right.
- Oh.Copy !req
441. Oh, hi.Copy !req
442. Sorry, I was just...Copy !req
443. I was just eating.Copy !req
444. All you had to do was
go through orientation.Copy !req
445. But no, you had to cause problems.Copy !req
446. Yeah, 'cause "cause problems"
is my middle name.Copy !req
447. Yeah!
And being a cyborg?Copy !req
448. Well, that's overrated.Copy !req
449. And that's something
I never thought I'd say.Copy !req
450. And we're here to put an end
to the reign of Tina.Copy !req
451. Good luck with that, stretch.Copy !req
452. - Whoa!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
453. Tom Green!
Wow, really big fan.Copy !req
454. - Really big fan.
- I'm a huge fan.Copy !req
455. My bum is on the cheese.Copy !req
456. - My bum is on the cheese.
- Cyber Tom Green,Copy !req
457. that's... that's awesome,
but you need to shut it down.Copy !req
458. - Yeah.
- Because soon enough,Copy !req
459. the cyborgs,
they're gonna come for you.Copy !req
460. These machines would die for me,
because they need me to survive.Copy !req
461. Oh, what, do you have
a problem with that?Copy !req
462. Kill them already.Copy !req
463. Oh!Copy !req
464. - Swedish?
- Something happened.Copy !req
465. The machines!
They're taking over!Copy !req
466. - Now what are you doing?
- The key card!Copy !req
467. We've gotta get to the mainframe!Copy !req
468. Screw it!Copy !req
469. Poor Alice,
she's never gonna bang me.Copy !req
470. Daddy, would you like some sausage?Copy !req
471. Daddy, would you like some sausages?Copy !req
472. Sausages! Sausages!Copy !req
473. Get in and barricade the door!
Barricade the door!Copy !req
474. 'Sup, Tina?
You naughty little computer.Copy !req
475. Oh, I'm gonna drain you.Copy !req
476. I'm gonna drain you good.Copy !req
477. Come on!Copy !req
478. - Shut her down, Demamp!
- There it is!Copy !req
479. We can't hold him much longer!Copy !req
480. I'm trying!
It's much harder than it looks!Copy !req
481. All right, well...
try a "come hither" motion.Copy !req
482. Oh, I'm "hithering."
Oh, I'm "hithering," baby!Copy !req
483. "Hither" harder!Copy !req
484. Come on!
You come for me!Copy !req
485. Oh!Copy !req
486. - Oh, my God.
- Okay.Copy !req
487. Please, not my face!Copy !req
488. - Uh, something's happening.
- Something good?Copy !req
489. Something... Beautiful!Copy !req
490. Oh!Copy !req
491. Oh, come on!
Oh, oh, oh.Copy !req
492. Hey, uh, it's...
it's way over.Copy !req
493. - Yeah?
- Yeah, it's...Copy !req
494. - Yeah, we did it?
- Yeah. - You got him.Copy !req
495. Oh, no!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
496. We killed my hero.Copy !req
497. Jeez!Copy !req
498. Where am I?Copy !req
499. - I don't remember anything.
- Well, uh...Copy !req
500. - Well, you were a robot...
- Yeah.Copy !req
501. And then now you're...Copy !req
502. you're just normal-ass Tom Green,Copy !req
503. - which is pretty cool.
- Cyborg.Copy !req
504. Yeah, and actually...Copy !req
505. We are your childhood friends.Copy !req
506. - So...
- Yep.Copy !req
507. - Like, your best friends.
- Welcome back.Copy !req
508. - Yeah.
- What's up, buddy?Copy !req
509. - Thanks, guys.
- Yeah, we do what we have to.Copy !req
510. - Thanks, guys.
- Hey! They're okay!Copy !req
511. Uh-huh.Copy !req
512. Oh, my God.
We're heroes!Copy !req
513. Well, uh, I don't know about that.Copy !req
514. - We... we killed Bill, actually.
- Yes.Copy !req
515. Very sorry about that.
I did kill Bill.Copy !req
516. - Murdered.
- That was my bad.Copy !req
517. I murdered him.Copy !req
518. I actually hope he's banging
Alice's dead body in the afterlife.Copy !req
519. "Bang dead Alice"?Copy !req
520. - Oh, um... I meant...
- You know what?Copy !req
521. Shut up, okay?
Honestly, I think that wasCopy !req
522. the dumbest story I have ever heard.Copy !req
523. I can't believe you let him
tell it for so long.Copy !req
524. This is just a prototype
for a pilot program.Copy !req
525. We're not gonna
be implementing anythingCopy !req
526. - for, like, another year.
- Oh!Copy !req
527. Well, you should have
said that right away.Copy !req
528. - Yeah, we're gonna quit by then.
- We'll probably be dead by then.Copy !req
529. Please, let's just get back
to the phones, now.Copy !req
530. - All right.
- All right, I swear to God...Copy !req
531. - Dude, I gotta try that!
- Right? That's got to...Copy !req
532. Do not know.Copy !req
533. Jillian, are you okay?Copy !req
534. - Somebody call 911!
- Are you choking?Copy !req
535. Get out of the way!Copy !req
536. Blake!Copy !req
537. - Help her!
- I don't know what to do!Copy !req
538. - Somebody help!
- Oh! Oh, God!Copy !req
539. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
540. All right, enough!Copy !req
541. God, Blake, do you ever shut up?Copy !req