1. - Ladies and... Waymond,Copy !req
2. direct your attention
to the front of the roomCopy !req
3. for a short video presentation.Copy !req
4. 'Scuse me, Beth?Copy !req
5. 'Scuse me.Copy !req
6. Okay, 'scuse me.Copy !req
7. Just-
can you move, please?Copy !req
8. How does this turn off, man?Copy !req
9. It's not funny.Copy !req
10. Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Thanks a ton.Copy !req
11. Yeah, it's out there.
I'm secretly a rap artist.Copy !req
12. An artist.
Give me the tape.Copy !req
13. Give me the tape.
- No.Copy !req
14. - Give me the tape!Copy !req
15. - So did you, like, used to be
in some sort of crew?Copy !req
16. - Yeah, yeah, it was a crew
of all-there was five of us.Copy !req
17. - Jesus Christ, Jillian.Copy !req
18. - Great rapping, Anders.Copy !req
19. You're like
an Icelandic Raekwon.Copy !req
20. - Oh.
- Ders, what's up?Copy !req
21. How come you don't
bring out the, uh,Copy !req
22. the flavor a little more?Copy !req
23. I thought it was pretty dope.Copy !req
24. - Could we talk about
something different?Copy !req
25. - Are you guys
ready to get SLOPPYCopy !req
26. at the young professionals
wine and cheese thing tomorrow?Copy !req
27. - Yes, totally.
- Yeah.Copy !req
28. - Yeah, you are!Copy !req
29. - Are you going to that as well?Copy !req
30. - Oh, heck to the yeah.Copy !req
31. I'm looking for
a true love companionCopy !req
32. who I can spend
every day of my life withCopy !req
33. until we die
on the exact same day.Copy !req
34. Same breath-Copy !req
35. - Montez, how you doing?Copy !req
36. - How does it look
like I'm doing?Copy !req
37. I'm on top of the goddamn world.Copy !req
38. - Right!
Hey, can I get the creamer?Copy !req
39. - I got up at 5:30
in the A.M. this morning.Copy !req
40. 5:30 in the goddamn A.M.Copy !req
41. Y'all wanna know why?
- Yeah.Copy !req
42. - Uh, because you had sex
with your wife.Copy !req
43. - Laid out the tarp,Copy !req
44. got out that good-ass baby oil,
and I was in it,Copy !req
45. just bah, bah,
got in my power stance,Copy !req
46. and I was like
kah-kah-kah-kah-kah!Copy !req
47. 'Cause there's only
one rule in my bedroom.Copy !req
48. Fuck all rules.Copy !req
49. It's like the wild,
wild west up in there,Copy !req
50. like Afghanistan, Iraq,Copy !req
51. motherfucking
Lord of the Rings in there.Copy !req
52. Y'all don't know
about my bedroom.Copy !req
53. - No, we don't.
- Ugh!Copy !req
54. I can feel that shit right now.Copy !req
55. - Sweet.Copy !req
56. - Oh, see, that's the kind
of love I'm looking for.Copy !req
57. - Okay, so we're all
in agreementCopy !req
58. that Jillian can't come
with us to this thing tomorrow.Copy !req
59. - What-w-why?
Why not?Copy !req
60. - Because when you put Jillian
in a room with free wine,Copy !req
61. things tend to get punched
in the face hard.Copy !req
62. - Yeah, but she wants
to find a man.Copy !req
63. I'm not about to stand
in the way of love.Copy !req
64. I'm not Billy Zane, man.Copy !req
65. - Blake, I get it.
She's your friend.Copy !req
66. - Okay, she's your friend too,
Roboheart.Copy !req
67. God!Copy !req
68. - Look, all I'm saying is,
last time,Copy !req
69. I got 25 business cards
and 12 Linkedln contacts.Copy !req
70. I plan on doubling that.Copy !req
71. But I can't have Jillian
stepping on my game.Copy !req
72. - Wow, Ders.Copy !req
73. When you were nerding out
on some cards,Copy !req
74. I was nerding into some titties!Copy !req
75. Remember that business lady
from last year?Copy !req
76. I was all
just droppin' in on it,Copy !req
77. lust. Hey, hey.Copy !req
78. - No, you weren't.Copy !req
79. No, you didn't.
You didn't have sex with her.Copy !req
80. - No, I didn't have sex
with her.Copy !req
81. She had to go home
because her dog was sick.Copy !req
82. We were all worried.Copy !req
83. Remember that one-legged
wheelchair dude from last year?Copy !req
84. - Oh!
- He's gonna be there.Copy !req
85. - Oh, yeah, that dude
totally punk'd you.Copy !req
86. Remember what he did, dude?Copy !req
87. Remember what he did?Copy !req
88. Oh! He cut off a chunk
of your hair, dude.Copy !req
89. - That was a big
chunk of your hair.Copy !req
90. - Yeah, it was huge.
- I know.Copy !req
91. - Remember how he just
held it out thereCopy !req
92. while you stood there
just crying?Copy !req
93. - Ha-ha! Adam!
- You were crying...Copy !req
94. - Yes, I think we all remember
I was crying.Copy !req
95. Yes, I was there.
- You were crying, dude.Copy !req
96. Ooh, inside voices.
Come on.Copy !req
97. - You guys are right.Copy !req
98. Jillian can't be there,Copy !req
99. because when
I just get these handsCopy !req
100. around his sweet little
wheelchair body,Copy !req
101. I'm gonna...Copy !req
102. bust him!Copy !req
103. - Ooph.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
104. I just don't want her
seeing that side of me.Copy !req
105. All right.
Here's the plan.Copy !req
106. We get Jillian a manCopy !req
107. to take her out
the same time as the mixer.Copy !req
108. create an internet profile.Copy !req
109. - All right, okay.Copy !req
110. Interests.
What's Jillian into?Copy !req
111. - Mm...
- She's...Copy !req
112. - Mm...Copy !req
113. - Um...Copy !req
114. - She's a girl, so...
Gerard Butler.Copy !req
115. - Yeah.
- Yep.Copy !req
116. - Yeah, they do.
They love him.Copy !req
117. - Good, good.Copy !req
118. And let's put something
to attract guys, like...Copy !req
119. - Like, "Face down, ass up.Copy !req
120. That's the way we like to"-Copy !req
121. - Uh, "camping" works.Copy !req
122. - That's the way
we like to camp.Copy !req
123. - Yeah.Copy !req
124. - Now we just need a picture
of her from the internet.Copy !req
125. Oh, there we go.
That one works.Copy !req
126. - Is, uh-ahem-is there
another photo we could use?Copy !req
127. - Why? This says, "I'm young,
I'm fun,Copy !req
128. and I've got a sense of humor,"
that's for sure.Copy !req
129. - It also says, "I like to do
weird stuff in the bedroom,"Copy !req
130. which, in this internet era,
dudes like that.Copy !req
131. - Yeah.Copy !req
132. - But it's not illegal
for me to call you,Copy !req
133. so I can't get arrested.Copy !req
134. You know what, I'm gonna
call you back tomorrow.Copy !req
135. - Oh, we got one!
- See you. Thank you.Copy !req
136. - Okay.
- Found it.Copy !req
137. - Yeah, seems fine, like
a fairly non-murdery fellow.Copy !req
138. - Normal-looking dude,
if you ask me.Copy !req
139. - Yeah.
- Yeah.Copy !req
140. - I give him my blessing.Copy !req
141. - Nice.Copy !req
142. - Knock, knock.
Knock.Copy !req
143. - Ooh, come in!Copy !req
144. how would you like a dateCopy !req
145. with a Gerard Butleresque...Copy !req
146. uberhunk?Copy !req
147. - Ooh! More like
Gerard Butt Cheeks.Copy !req
148. - Uh, well, he's our buddy Jake,Copy !req
149. and he is just a man hunk.Copy !req
150. - Ooh! Jake?
Do I know him?Copy !req
151. - No, I don't think
you know him.Copy !req
152. I don't think you've met him.
He's a friend of ours.Copy !req
153. - Yeah, he's a real beef castle.Copy !req
154. - What's-
what's his last name?Copy !req
155. - Uh...
- Heisen...Copy !req
156. - Rip.
- Bauer.Copy !req
157. - Heisenripbauer?Copy !req
158. - Heisenripbauer, yeah.
- Heisenripbauer.Copy !req
159. - Ooh, Mrs. Jillian
Heisenripbauer.Copy !req
160. - He's a science teacher.
- He's a science teacher!Copy !req
161. - Yes, he is.
- Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
162. Well, I hope we have chemistry!Copy !req
163. - Oh, my goodness.
- You will!Copy !req
164. - Yeah, anyways, yeah,
Jake HeisenripbauerCopy !req
165. would love to go to a concert
with you tomorrow.Copy !req
166. - Oh, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
167. - Tomorr-oh.
But what about the mixer?Copy !req
168. - Jillian, forget the mixer.Copy !req
169. You've got a chance
to go on a date with...Copy !req
170. Jake.Copy !req
171. - Heisenripbauer.
- That name.Copy !req
172. - I already really like him.Copy !req
173. I might be in love.Copy !req
174. - Oh!
- Adam...Copy !req
175. Just pretend
your parents are here.Copy !req
176. - Ha-ha! That's the beginning
of a break dance, bud.Copy !req
177. I don't know the rest,
but I will learn it.Copy !req
178. - YEP-Copy !req
179. That, my friend,Copy !req
180. is totally loose butthole.Copy !req
181. - Excuse me?Copy !req
182. This entire outfit
is completely tight butthole.Copy !req
183. - It's definitely butthole
something.Copy !req
184. - You know what, why don't
you guys watch me do what I doCopy !req
185. when I do what I do
in the bow tie.Copy !req
186. PW.
- Whoo-hoo-hod.!Copy !req
187. - Gentlemen, Anders Holmvik.
TelAmeriCorp, sales assosh.Copy !req
188. Here's my card.
Take a couple.Copy !req
189. I got a bunch.
I got 'em all.Copy !req
190. Can I, uh, get
some of your cards?Copy !req
191. I'm a card shark.Copy !req
192. - Jeff,
this guy wants our cards.Copy !req
193. - Or, uh, we could do Linkedln.Copy !req
194. Digital age.
We could do that.Copy !req
195. Linkedln.Copy !req
196. - Do I know this guy, Jeff?Copy !req
197. Wait a minute.Copy !req
198. This guy gave me his card
last year.Copy !req
199. - Yep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
200. - You called me, like, 25 times.Copy !req
201. - No, I called you
way more than that.Copy !req
202. - Whoa-ho-ho!Copy !req
203. Just the boo I was looking for.Copy !req
204. Get in here.
- Where you going?Copy !req
205. - Just a little
hug-aroo for ya.Copy !req
206. - I'm sorry...
Do I know you?Copy !req
207. Ehh!Copy !req
208. No, we know each other.
Last year...Copy !req
209. in the stairwell, we...Copy !req
210. Underneath the shirt,Copy !req
211. over the bra maneuv
from the back side.Copy !req
212. I like.
I'll say that.Copy !req
213. - I was drunker than I thought.Copy !req
214. - Yeah, most def.
So...Copy !req
215. What has been popping off
in your world?Copy !req
216. I'm super interested.Copy !req
217. - Look, I don't want
to be rude, okay,Copy !req
218. but last year
was a gigantic mistake.Copy !req
219. - Oh, yeah, most def.
For sure.Copy !req
220. - You're, like, a five.
- Yeah.Copy !req
221. - And I'm looking for more of
like a nine or a ten, you know?Copy !req
222. - Oh, yeah, nine, ten, for sure.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
223. - Yeah, most def.
- Tall, rich, handsome.Copy !req
224. Can quote funny movies.
- Funny movies?Copy !req
225. Yeah, baby, yeah!Copy !req
226. - It's ni-ice!Copy !req
227. It's ni-ice!Copy !req
228. - Worse things have happened.Copy !req
229. " Oh!Copy !req
230. - This guy...Copy !req
231. - There he is.
Wheelchair guy.Copy !req
232. Just... cutting in line.Copy !req
233. - Go get him, dude.Copy !req
234. - Yeah.
- Get him!Copy !req
235. - HEY-Copy !req
236. Hey, you.Copy !req
237. - Look who it is.Copy !req
238. - You are-Copy !req
239. - Check it out, guys.Copy !req
240. Paula Poundstone here
is wearing shoulder pads!Copy !req
241. - You again.
What do you want?Copy !req
242. Hmm?Copy !req
243. - Ow.
- Ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
244. Whoo! Ooh!Copy !req
245. - Still as rude as ever.
- This is stupid.Copy !req
246. I got to get in there.
She said I'm a five.Copy !req
247. Which is pretty good.Copy !req
248. - Out of what?Copy !req
249. - Five, I think.
I'm not sure.Copy !req
250. - Hey, Jillian.Copy !req
251. What?
No, I can't hear-Copy !req
252. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
253. Okay, yeah, we'll come get you.Copy !req
254. I'm sorry.
We got to go.Copy !req
255. Jillian's date's,
like, a total psycho.Copy !req
256. - No, we're not going anywhere.Copy !req
257. I haven't even gotten
a card yet.Copy !req
258. - Ders, she was crying.Copy !req
259. - The sexy kind, though?Copy !req
260. - No. Like real tears.
Like Native American tears.Copy !req
261. - Blake, I'm not
gonna leave right now,Copy !req
262. Plus, it's not our faultCopy !req
263. that Jillian got stuck
at the stupid party...Copy !req
264. Except that I just realized
that it is our fault.Copy !req
265. - 100%.
- God damn it.Copy !req
266. She's at a concert.
How bad can a concert be?Copy !req
267. - Who the fuck are these people?Copy !req
268. - Uh... they're Juggalos.Copy !req
269. You know, fans of
the Insane Clown Posse.Copy !req
270. Gentlemen, welcome to
the Dark Carnival of Souls.Copy !req
271. All right, guys, I know there's
a lot of really fun stuff here,Copy !req
272. but let's try not to
get sidetracked.Copy !req
273. - Sidetracked? This entire place
should be firebombed.Copy !req
274. - They all look like Satan.Copy !req
275. Aah! Oh!Copy !req
276. Hey, there you... are.Copy !req
277. - All right, let's split upCopy !req
278. and meet back here
in half an hour, let's say?Copy !req
279. Whoa! They've got
a hatchet throwing contest.Copy !req
280. Let's make it three hours, huh?Copy !req
281. - Okay, Blake,
I know the smell of weirdCopy !req
282. gets your balls all tingly,Copy !req
283. but put on the blinders
and just find Jillian.Copy !req
284. - You're right.
I'm on the case.Copy !req
285. The Case to Find
the Missing Friend of Mine,Copy !req
286. by Blake Chesterfield Henderson.Copy !req
287. - Okay, I call this way.
- I got that way.Copy !req
288. - Oh, Ders got to go that way.Copy !req
289. - I'm gonna go this way.Copy !req
290. - No, I called-
I called that way.Copy !req
291. - I think that guy's
following me.Copy !req
292. - Fine.
I'll go this way.Copy !req
293. - Oh, excuse me.Copy !req
294. Oh, you dropped something,
buddy.Copy !req
295. Nope, that is poop.Copy !req
296. Human poop fell out of
your pants.Copy !req
297. That fell out.Copy !req
298. - Hey, sheep.Copy !req
299. You stray too far from the herd,Copy !req
300. and the wolves will get you.Copy !req
301. - Okeydokey.
That's good advice.Copy !req
302. Cool costume.
- Hey.Copy !req
303. You're the one
wearing the costume-Copy !req
304. society's costume.Copy !req
305. - Oh, man.Copy !req
306. - Society's costume.Copy !req
307. - This is fun.
I'm gonna get going, though.Copy !req
308. - Why'? What are you
so afraid of, sheep boy?Copy !req
309. - I'm not afraid of anything,
except for maybe carbs,Copy !req
310. 'cause I'm in
a cutting phase right now.Copy !req
311. Those are nunchucks.
Whoa!Copy !req
312. That one got close.
All righty.Copy !req
313. - Poor little sheepyCopy !req
314. walking around
in your sheep clothingCopy !req
315. just thinking
your sheep thoughts.Copy !req
316. - Uh-huh.
- Do you want to continueCopy !req
317. to just be a faceless drone
in a bullshit society...Copy !req
318. Or do you want
to play with my boobs?Copy !req
319. - I'll put that hatchet
in your head-Copy !req
320. - Hey, guys, maybe
you could help me out.Copy !req
321. I'm kind of lost.
I'm looking for somebody.Copy !req
322. If you have a map
with a legend or anything...Copy !req
323. Okay, thank you.Copy !req
324. Jeez, it's hot.
It's like Hades.Copy !req
325. Hey, um, I see you got
some cold beverages here.Copy !req
326. You mind if I buy one
off of you guys?Copy !req
327. Honestly, I could go for
a vitaminwater or a juice.Copy !req
328. Hell, at this point,
I'd take a Dasani.Copy !req
329. Okay, if you can hear me,Copy !req
330. I'm gonna put $5 right here on
your gross, inflatable cooler.Copy !req
331. And, uh... a Faygo.
What is a Faygo?Copy !req
332. You've got Redpop, Moon Mist.Copy !req
333. Do you have anything
that's not Faygo,Copy !req
334. besides Red Rock-
- Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
335. You all right there, camper?
You look lost.Copy !req
336. - Oh, do I? Thank you,
Detective Zoobilee Zoo.Copy !req
337. Unless you have some SchweppesCopy !req
338. or something like
a Nantucket Nectar, get lost.Copy !req
339. - Okay, easy, man.
I'm just trying to help.Copy !req
340. If you like Fresca-Copy !req
341. - Oh, my God.
Is this Fresca?Copy !req
342. Oh, Fresca.Copy !req
343. - Well, actually,
that's Faygo Moon Mist.Copy !req
344. - Really'?Copy !req
345. - Booyah, bitch!Copy !req
346. - Awesome, dude.
Can I give it a try?Copy !req
347. - Go for it, ninja.
Crack that dome.Copy !req
348. Yeah.
- Okay, you're askin' for it.Copy !req
349. I'm gonna just split you open.Copy !req
350. - Sweet spot.
- This one's for Dad.Copy !req
351. - Bah!Copy !req
352. - Whoa.Copy !req
353. Is that Jillian?Copy !req
354. - Sometimes I look at myself
in the mirror,Copy !req
355. and I'm like...Copy !req
356. who are you, Adam?Copy !req
357. - I bet you lift weightsCopy !req
358. to try to look like
those juiceheadsCopy !req
359. in the magazines.Copy !req
360. - Guilty as charged!Copy !req
361. I'm just a lat guy, you know?Copy !req
362. I've got these amazing lats,
and...Copy !req
363. I'm just living in
an ab guy's world.Copy !req
364. - It doesn't matter.Copy !req
365. Because now you are...Copy !req
366. Sugar Bear.Copy !req
367. - Sugar Bear.
That is...Copy !req
368. Nice.
I like that.Copy !req
369. But what if we chose
a different name like...Copy !req
370. Dangerous...Copy !req
371. you know, Wolf, or something,Copy !req
372. something
that has an edge to it.Copy !req
373. No?
- No.Copy !req
374. - All right.
Yeah, Sugar Bear.Copy !req
375. That's a good one.
I like that too.Copy !req
376. - Five, four, three, two...Copy !req
377. - You want another?Copy !req
378. Please, it's the least I can do.Copy !req
379. Ro, can you grab
another Faygo for Anders?Copy !req
380. - Oh, sure, hon.
- Thanks.Copy !req
381. It's just so hot out here.
It's so good.Copy !req
382. - It's a good beverage.Copy !req
383. Thanks, sweetie.Copy !req
384. Let me know if you want me
to take Becca.Copy !req
385. - Okay.
- Hi, pumpkin.Copy !req
386. Daddy loves you.
Bye!Copy !req
387. - Oh, you got a great family.
- Oh, thanks.Copy !req
388. - I got to ask, what-
what brings a guy like youCopy !req
389. to a place like this?Copy !req
390. - Ah! Direct.
I like that.Copy !req
391. Uh, I tell you,
it started two years agoCopy !req
392. when I came to my first
Juggalo concertCopy !req
393. to sell hatchets.Copy !req
394. - Wait.
You're in sales?Copy !req
395. I'm in sales too!
TelAmeriCorp.Copy !req
396. - T.A.C.?
- Yeah.Copy !req
397. - Get out! I did business
with them a few years ago.Copy !req
398. Hey, Ro, Anders here
works for TelAmeriCorp!Copy !req
399. - Oh, my God.
Really'?Copy !req
400. - That is a piss.
You know what?Copy !req
401. I like the cut of your jib.Copy !req
402. Let me give you
my business card.Copy !req
403. Maybe we can toss each other
a little business.Copy !req
404. - Yeah, that'd be great.
Thank you.Copy !req
405. Do you, uh-
do you want my card?Copy !req
406. - Sure. I'd love it.
- All right.Copy !req
407. We'll just exchange cards.
- Yeah.Copy !req
408. - So the makeup, that's-Copy !req
409. that's part of
the sales thing, right?Copy !req
410. - No, it's gonna sound crazy,Copy !req
411. but we actually have fun here.Copy !req
412. Get this,
last weekend in Fresno,Copy !req
413. they even got me on stage
to do a rapping battle.Copy !req
414. - You rapped?Copy !req
415. - Well, I'm no ODB, but...Copy !req
416. They don't judge you here.Copy !req
417. You want to give it a shot,
just let me know.Copy !req
418. Yeah, boy!Copy !req
419. - Will the friends
of Karl HevacheckCopy !req
420. report to the first aid tent?Copy !req
421. - Jillian?
Jillian. Hey.Copy !req
422. - Blake!
What are you doing here?Copy !req
423. - Uh, I'm here to save you.
You called us.Copy !req
424. - Oh, did I not call you back?
Everything's fine.Copy !req
425. You should stay at the mixer.Copy !req
426. - Wow, you are super drunk,
aren't you, Jillian?Copy !req
427. - Whoop-whoop
whoop-whoop-whoop!Copy !req
428. That's the Juggalo's call.Copy !req
429. - All right, come on.
I'm gonna get you out of here.Copy !req
430. Let's go get some
wine and cheese.Copy !req
431. - Whoa! Who's this
fake-ass Juggaho?Copy !req
432. - Dr. Neden,
you know Blake.Copy !req
433. Hey, Blake, "neden"
is Juggalo for "pussy."Copy !req
434. So I'm definitely getting
that dong near this thong.Copy !req
435. - Oh, wow.
Okay, great.Copy !req
436. Um, no, but actually,
I don't know who this guy is.Copy !req
437. I'll explain that to you later.Copy !req
438. - She's not goin' anywhere
with you.Copy !req
439. And if you touch her,Copy !req
440. I'll knock your
dick-tickler off your face, son.Copy !req
441. - Wha-
- He means your mustache.Copy !req
442. - Oh, you're saying
I tickle-Copy !req
443. No.
Uh-uh.Copy !req
444. Everywhere I turn, it's bullies.
Big, fat bullies.Copy !req
445. - Whatever, Paula Poundstone.Copy !req
446. - Paula Poundstone.Copy !req
447. No!
You're goin' down!Copy !req
448. Oh, boy!
- Blake!Copy !req
449. - Aah!
Oh... fuck!Copy !req
450. - I think he's dead.
- Wakey bakey.Copy !req
451. - Aah! Monsters!
- Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
452. It's us.
You're safe now.Copy !req
453. - Ders, Adam?Copy !req
454. Why is Jillian hanging out
with that bully still?Copy !req
455. - She's fine.
We're all fine.Copy !req
456. Especially her.Copy !req
457. Let me see them titties, girl.Copy !req
458. - Blake, it turns out,Copy !req
459. we found everything
we were looking forCopy !req
460. right here
at the Dark Carnival of Souls.Copy !req
461. - That's great, and forgive me
for not celebrating,Copy !req
462. but I've just had
a really horrible day,Copy !req
463. and I'd like to go home,
drink a box of wine,Copy !req
464. maybe take a warm bath,Copy !req
465. and gently masturbate
myself to sleep, okay?Copy !req
466. Aah! My back!
- Hey! No, come on.Copy !req
467. Up you go, up you go.
In the chair.Copy !req
468. - Well, you're not going home
to masturbate just yet.Copy !req
469. - I didn't say
I was gonna masturbate.Copy !req
470. - We're gonna go back
to the mixer, buddy.Copy !req
471. Show those Juggahos how we do.Copy !req
472. - Blake, what's the tightest
thing in the world?Copy !req
473. - Buttholes.Copy !req
474. - Yes.
Ideally, a butthole.Copy !req
475. Yeah.
A butthole.Copy !req
476. But I was talking about
the bonds of a family.Copy !req
477. A psychopathic family.Copy !req
478. So what do you say?Copy !req
479. - Oh, hello.
Look what we have here.Copy !req
480. - Whoa!
What the hell?Copy !req
481. - Mmm, jealousy
does not look good on you.Copy !req
482. - Who are you?Copy !req
483. - Does this maneuv
ring any bells?Copy !req
484. Ohh.
Stairwell?Copy !req
485. Oh, wait, there's no bra here,
and I like that much better.Copy !req
486. - This is so weird.Copy !req
487. - My tits are telling me
to sleep with you.Copy !req
488. - Mmm, I like what
your tits have to say.Copy !req
489. - So do I.Copy !req
490. - Oh, God.Copy !req
491. - Done deals.
- Guess what, chumps.Copy !req
492. I don't even need
your card anymore,Copy !req
493. because I've got
the king of cards.Copy !req
494. - Hey, Jeff, look who's back.Copy !req
495. - Davis King,Copy !req
496. number one hatchet salesman
in the southwest region.Copy !req
497. Bah!Copy !req
498. Score for the Ders!Copy !req
499. - Jeff, what's a Der?Copy !req
500. - Fuck you, dude.
- Nice makeup.Copy !req
501. - The Der-
I get called the Ders.Copy !req
502. - HEY-Copy !req
503. - What's this?
Making fun of me?Copy !req
504. - Quite the quan-trary.Copy !req
505. I'm here for something
totally different.Copy !req
506. - Good.
- And that's to say I'm sorry.Copy !req
507. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
508. You see, I've learned
a lot about family today.Copy !req
509. And much like buttholes,
families are meant to be tight.Copy !req
510. - 'Scuse me?
- Look, man...Copy !req
511. We're all family, okay?
And I...Copy !req
512. I know what it's like
to be trapped in a chair.Copy !req
513. I've been in this seat prison
for, like, 25 minutes now.Copy !req
514. It's rough.
But you know what?Copy !req
515. Even though you have been
a jerk to me...Copy !req
516. I still love ya.Copy !req
517. - Thanks, man.Copy !req
518. Got a lot of...
anger I need to work through.Copy !req
519. Tend to push people away.Copy !req
520. - Hey, less pushing,
more hugging-what do you say?Copy !req
521. Get in here.
- All right.Copy !req
522. - Dr. Neden, no!Copy !req
523. - You mess with my family,
you mess with me!Copy !req
524. - No, Jake Heisenripbauer!Copy !req
525. - That's right, ninja.
Time to suck this nunchuck!Copy !req
526. - So let's not hang out
with Juggalos anymore.Copy !req
527. - They are who we thought
they were.Copy !req
528. - Walking, talking
diarrhea people.Copy !req
529. - Big Money Hustla's
coming to Thanksgiving.Copy !req
530. Those are her boobs.
Oh, my God!Copy !req
531. - Nice!Copy !req