1. - Hung by the chimney with care,
fine sir.Copy !req
2. - Aw.
- Oh.Copy !req
3. " Oh!Copy !req
4. - Every year!Copy !req
5. - Wah...Copy !req
6. What the hell's wrong
with you guys?Copy !req
7. It's the middle of July.Copy !req
8. Are you drunk or something?Copy !req
9. - We're just trying to spreadCopy !req
10. some holiday cheer, man.Copy !req
11. Where's your
half-Christmas spirit?Copy !req
12. And, yeah, we're
a little bit drunk, dude.Copy !req
13. Deal with it.
Okay?Copy !req
14. Let's take it from the top.Copy !req
15. And a-three
and a-two and a...Copy !req
16. - Aah! Cut!Copy !req
17. I don't even know
what you're doing.Copy !req
18. - What?
I can't hear you guys.Copy !req
19. - Well, this is the third cat
that you've had.Copy !req
20. I think you should stop
getting pets.Copy !req
21. Yeah, look, I'm gonna have
to let you go.Copy !req
22. Someone just dropped
three turds off in my office.Copy !req
23. - Alice, query.
We-Copy !req
24. - Alice, I heard
something about turds.Copy !req
25. Is there a poop in here?Copy !req
26. Is that something Oscar handles,Copy !req
27. or is there a special
poop janitor I should call?Copy !req
28. - What the hell
are you guys wearing?Copy !req
29. - Here's the deal.Copy !req
30. We are your top earners
this month,Copy !req
31. and we've been here over a year
without a vacation.Copy !req
32. - Yeah,
which we don't even mind,Copy !req
33. 'cause we love working
for such a multitalentedCopy !req
34. lady of the evening
such as yourself.Copy !req
35. - Mm-hmm.
- Yep.Copy !req
36. - But we were wonderingCopy !req
37. if maybe we could get
two days offCopy !req
38. to celebrate half-Christmas.Copy !req
39. It's a bit of a tradition
in our household, so...Copy !req
40. - Yeah.Copy !req
41. It started,
like, four years ago.Copy !req
42. Blake went out to get some beer,Copy !req
43. and he came home
with a keg full of eggnog.Copy !req
44. We call it a keg-nog.Copy !req
45. We call it a keg-nog.Copy !req
46. - Yeah, but we just drank
that thick nectar of the gods.Copy !req
47. We sang, and it got wild,Copy !req
48. and Adam actually ended upCopy !req
49. fighting our neighbor's
cleaning lady.Copy !req
50. - It was a good scrap.
It was a good scrap.Copy !req
51. That's how
half-Christmas was born.Copy !req
52. So...Copy !req
53. - So what do you say?Copy !req
54. Alice.Copy !req
55. - What?Copy !req
56. - Well, she pretty much just
talk-to-the-handed us.Copy !req
57. - Yeah, I definitely agree,Copy !req
58. but I don't think that's
what they call it anymore.Copy !req
59. - No,
she talk-to-the-handed us.Copy !req
60. Dude, it's a phrase.
It's a topical phrase.Copy !req
61. People say it.Copy !req
62. - Guys, we can't let
that Grinch's negativityCopy !req
63. split us apart
just 'cause we're stuck here.Copy !req
64. You want to know why?Copy !req
65. 'Cause the spirit
of half-ChristmasCopy !req
66. lives on in all of us.Copy !req
67. Just like a little baby alien.Copy !req
68. - Aah.Copy !req
69. Let's-let's just
get some party suppliesCopy !req
70. and do it up in the office.Copy !req
71. - Sure.
It worked for fake Easter.Copy !req
72. - Yes, it did.
- Yeah.Copy !req
73. - Although if I wake upCopy !req
74. and my balls
are dyed purple this time,Copy !req
75. I will get Norwegian on you.Copy !req
76. - Whoa.
- Scary.Copy !req
77. - It means,
"I'm gonna eat."Copy !req
78. - Cool.Copy !req
79. Well, what do you say
we go get some decorationsCopy !req
80. and turn this little officeCopy !req
81. into a magical half-Christmas
winter wonderland?Copy !req
82. - Ooh, let's
talk-to-the-handed this office.Copy !req
83. - I'm serious.
I don't think anyone says that.Copy !req
84. - No, they say it.
- Who?Copy !req
85. - Wrapping paper.
Popcorn and string.Copy !req
86. - Got it. Got it.Copy !req
87. - Wrapping paper-Copy !req
88. - I just said I got it.Copy !req
89. - I know, I'm just
checking it twice, homey,Copy !req
90. 'cause I plan on being naughty.Copy !req
91. - Hell, no!
We won't go!Copy !req
92. - Wow, what do we got here?Copy !req
93. - We're on strike for more pay,
better hours, insurance.Copy !req
94. - What?Copy !req
95. Let me get this straight.Copy !req
96. All you guys do
is stand out here,Copy !req
97. yell at people,
while not working?Copy !req
98. - And do I smell barbecue?Copy !req
99. Because I am not mad at that.Copy !req
100. - Can we go?Copy !req
101. Unlike these freeloaders,
no offense,Copy !req
102. we got a job to get back to.Copy !req
103. - Whoa, look at this guy, huh?Copy !req
104. Old Saint Dick.Copy !req
105. It's a pun.
I'm good at those.Copy !req
106. - Look, my dad
had a plastics factory.Copy !req
107. When they went on strike,
my family went on hard times.Copy !req
108. - Yep, here we go.Copy !req
109. - We had to leave
the country club in '95.Copy !req
110. I went from clay court
to ghetto court.Copy !req
111. - Ha. "Ghetto Court."Copy !req
112. I'd definitely watch that show.Copy !req
113. - Quiet in the court!
You goin' to prison!Copy !req
114. - Get out of my court.Copy !req
115. - Cut it out.Copy !req
116. I don't have time
for this chicanery.Copy !req
117. - Careful, Ders.
They prefer "Hispanic."Copy !req
118. Don't be racist, man.Copy !req
119. - Dude, you got to join a
book club or read or something.Copy !req
120. - Oh, I've got to join
a book club?Copy !req
121. - Please do.
- I just finished Goosebumps.Copy !req
122. R.L. Stine. I basically
read the whole series.Copy !req
123. And I'm pretty sure
it ends with all the kidsCopy !req
124. getting on a boat, sailing off,Copy !req
125. and saying,
"Strikes are awesome!"Copy !req
126. Yeah!Copy !req
127. - I don't know, Ders.Copy !req
128. I think I'm gonna have
to side with Adam on this one.Copy !req
129. Strikes are frickin' cool!Copy !req
130. - Can we just get
what we came to getCopy !req
131. and get out of here, please?Copy !req
132. - Sure.
- Thank you.Copy !req
133. - Excuse me. Pardon me.Copy !req
134. Ah, make room.
Going to a store.Copy !req
135. I'm so sorry.
That was rude.Copy !req
136. Should have asked you guys.Copy !req
137. Wrapping paper'?
Aisle six? Aisle seven?Copy !req
138. Where's it at?Copy !req
139. This is good, right?Copy !req
140. Peter North Pole?Copy !req
141. It's like a candy cane.Copy !req
142. - Hi, guys.Copy !req
143. Look, um, I know that you're
big fans of the Dollar Store,Copy !req
144. but you're gonna have
to take all of this down.Copy !req
145. You're distracting
the entire office.Copy !req
146. - How so?Copy !req
147. - Next stop...Copy !req
148. Work Town.Copy !req
149. - You have ten minutes
to take this dumb shit down.Copy !req
150. - Why are you being
such a Scrooge McDuck?Copy !req
151. - Oh, I'm being
a Scrooge McDuck?Copy !req
152. Because there is no such thing
as half-Christmas.Copy !req
153. - Fine, Alice.
You leave us no choice.Copy !req
154. We're gonna go on strike.Copy !req
155. - Nobody disses
half-Christmas!Copy !req
156. - We're going on strike.Copy !req
157. You with us, Ders?Copy !req
158. - No, thanks.
I'm gonna keep my job.Copy !req
159. - Oh, I should have
figured you to be a traitor.Copy !req
160. Bene-dick Arnold,
over here.Copy !req
161. - You could have said
"Benedict Anders."Copy !req
162. That might have been funnier.Copy !req
163. - Yeah, fine.
I'll do that.Copy !req
164. Bene-dick Arnold.Copy !req
165. Fuck.
Damn it.Copy !req
166. - Anyways...
- Ar-Anders.Copy !req
167. - We're gonna be outside.
Should you need us.Copy !req
168. - Stree-ike!Copy !req
169. - Ooh. Yes.Copy !req
170. - Whoo!Copy !req
171. When's this turkey
gonna be done, Karl?Copy !req
172. - Oh, man, so far so good.Copy !req
173. - Oh, yeah.
That is cold as ice.Copy !req
174. - Well, it's got to cook
all the way through, man.Copy !req
175. - Yeah, okay.
- Yeah.Copy !req
176. - Guess I don't know
how turkeys work.Copy !req
177. - No, you obviously don't.Copy !req
178. Gonna take it to the roof
and use the Sun's heat.Copy !req
179. It's probably gonna be done
in about two days or so.Copy !req
180. - Cool, that's-
that works, I guess.Copy !req
181. - Um, but I got burgers.Copy !req
182. - Yeah, we do.Copy !req
183. - Woke up the burger wolf.Copy !req
184. - Burger wolf.
- The burger wolf.Copy !req
185. - Woof.Copy !req
186. - Man, I'm so glad
we're not working.Copy !req
187. I'd be wearing
one of those stupid headsetsCopy !req
188. instead of...
this cool, leather cowboy hat.Copy !req
189. - Ooh, cowboy hat.Copy !req
190. Where'd you get that at?Copy !req
191. - Trash can, bro.Copy !req
192. - Really resourceful.
- Not bad.Copy !req
193. - Whoa. Hello.
- Oh, mamacita.Copy !req
194. - Well, here we go.Copy !req
195. - We might get laid.Copy !req
196. - Hey, how's it going?Copy !req
197. - Hey, guys.Copy !req
198. What are you striking for?Copy !req
199. - Oh, religious rights
in the workplace, my sister.Copy !req
200. - Good for you.
You got my support, fellas.Copy !req
201. - Thank you so much.Copy !req
202. - What kind of work do you do?Copy !req
203. We're telemarketers!Copy !req
204. - You fucking cocksuckers!Copy !req
205. I'm on the "do not call" list,Copy !req
206. and you fucking faggots
keep fucking calling me.Copy !req
207. Fuck you
and your fucking religion.Copy !req
208. It's called rape!
And you got no dicks!Copy !req
209. You're a bunch of pussies!
Burn in hell!Copy !req
210. - Fuck you.Copy !req
211. - Hey, loner.Copy !req
212. - HEY-Copy !req
213. - I got you
some new work buddies.Copy !req
214. These are some
hot, young rookiesCopy !req
215. fresh off the boat
from the training program.Copy !req
216. - Oh, a computer.Copy !req
217. - Um...Copy !req
218. - Hello there.
Truly a pleasure.Copy !req
219. - Okay. Okay-Copy !req
220. It's good to meet you.Copy !req
221. - Are there any
firewall restrictions,Copy !req
222. or am I, uh, free to use
my best judgment?Copy !req
223. - Yeah.Copy !req
224. I, um, need you
to get them up to speed.Copy !req
225. Okay?
Can you handle that?Copy !req
226. - Yeah. Yes. Yeah.Copy !req
227. - Good.
- I can handle that.Copy !req
228. But what about,
um, Adam and Blake?Copy !req
229. - What about them?Copy !req
230. As far as I'm concerned,
they quit.Copy !req
231. - Craigslist
Casual Encounters is blocked?Copy !req
232. What is this?
Fucking North Korea?Copy !req
233. - My oldest son
is a Methodist minister.Copy !req
234. Now, his son plays
on the church softball team.Copy !req
235. - Jer, if we could just
please keep itCopy !req
236. to what we were
talking about-Copy !req
237. - You didn't let me finish,
Anders.Copy !req
238. - It's pronounced
"O n-d e rs."Copy !req
239. - I think that's what he said.Copy !req
240. - No, it wasn't.
- I did, Anders.Copy !req
241. - Go ahead, Jer.
Take her home.Copy !req
242. - So, uh, in this softball
league that he plays on,Copy !req
243. it's run by Lutherans.Copy !req
244. Because the funny thing...Copy !req
245. - Jillian. Jillian.Copy !req
246. Can you talk to me
right now about anything?Copy !req
247. What's going on with Alice?Copy !req
248. - Nope. No. Busy.Copy !req
249. Okay, I'm not busy.Copy !req
250. But I hate that guy's face.Copy !req
251. And that guy smells
like Boston Market.Copy !req
252. - When do we get our break?Copy !req
253. I really need
to call my sponsor.Copy !req
254. This office has a lot
of triggers, Anders.Copy !req
255. - It's "On-ders."
okay?Copy !req
256. "O n-d e rs."
It's not "An-ders."Copy !req
257. It never was. I don't know why
you guys keep saying it.Copy !req
258. It's "On-ders."Copy !req
259. I have an "On"
at the beginning of my name.Copy !req
260. I have a hard "On."Copy !req
261. - Is it supposed to be chunky?Copy !req
262. - I don't know.Copy !req
263. - Wish we had a shot
to drop in here.Copy !req
264. Call it an egg Nagasaki bomb.Copy !req
265. - Ugh
- That'd be good.Copy !req
266. - I'd do it.
I'd do it.Copy !req
267. - News copters covering
the strike, probably, dude.Copy !req
268. - Yeah.
Or Iraq attacking.Copy !req
269. - Yeah.
- Ooh.Copy !req
270. - Hey, dudes, got some bad news.Copy !req
271. - Didn't tell you
the bad news yet.Copy !req
272. - It's my new strike thing.
It's pretty good.Copy !req
273. Go again.
- You've been replaced.Copy !req
274. Yeah, there's two massive choadsCopy !req
275. sitting in your seats upstairs.Copy !req
276. I suggest you just go inside,Copy !req
277. tell Alice you're sorry,Copy !req
278. and beg for your job back.Copy !req
279. - Alice can't replace us.Copy !req
280. - Does she know
we're irreplaceable?Copy !req
281. - No, you've been replaced.
It's already happened.Copy !req
282. You're getting
your final paychecks on Friday.Copy !req
283. - Oh, that one was kind of real.Copy !req
284. - Hey, Ders,
the turkey's almost done, man.Copy !req
285. - Hell, no! We won't go!
- Hey, bag dude.Copy !req
286. Just wanted to shank you
from the bottom of our hearts,Copy !req
287. 'cause we lost our jobs.Copy !req
288. - The advice you gave us,Copy !req
289. it was, um, well,
it was pretty loose butthole.Copy !req
290. - It was the loosest butthole.Copy !req
291. It was so loose.Copy !req
292. - Yeah.
I got this.Copy !req
293. Listen, this whole situation
we're in right now,Copy !req
294. we want to get it
back to that...Copy !req
295. tight butthole area.Copy !req
296. - Mm-hmm.Copy !req
297. - You get it?Copy !req
298. - Well, you want
to go on strike,Copy !req
299. what does your local
union boss say?Copy !req
300. - Huh?
- What?Copy !req
301. - The who?
- Your local union boss.Copy !req
302. - Union boss.Copy !req
303. Well, we haven't
contacted him yet.Copy !req
304. Secondly, what's a union?Copy !req
305. - Yeah, it's just,
uh, me, this dude,Copy !req
306. and my friend Karl
and his rape van, so...Copy !req
307. - Yeah, it's a good crew.Copy !req
308. - Yeah, tight crew.
- Real tight crew.Copy !req
309. - We're cool.
- Yeah, we're having fun.Copy !req
310. We're having fun out there.
Eggnog.Copy !req
311. - Little gang.
- Yeah, little keg-nog.Copy !req
312. - Well, you want
to go on strike?Copy !req
313. Get your coworkers on your side.Copy !req
314. Then you'll get what you want.Copy !req
315. - Oh, okay.
- Oh, coworkers.Copy !req
316. - Cool, coworkers.
Good plan, dude.Copy !req
317. All right, crossing the line.
Going shopping.Copy !req
318. - Yeah. Does anybody want
a Powerade while we're in there?Copy !req
319. - Anything under $5, I got you.Copy !req
320. - Huh?
- No?Copy !req
321. - Croissant?
From the bakery?Copy !req
322. What's up, Jillian?Copy !req
323. - Oh, hey.
Nothing.Copy !req
324. - J-bell, do you feel
that you're satisfiedCopy !req
325. with everything here
at TelAmeriCorp?Copy !req
326. - All I'm saying is,
we need some new leads, man.Copy !req
327. You know, I got a 25-foot
pontoon boat I got to pay off.Copy !req
328. - Hey, well,
then it's official, right?Copy !req
329. You're striking with us, huh?Copy !req
330. - I Want $500,000.Copy !req
331. - I don't know. Stock options?
Is that a thing?Copy !req
332. - There's no way of knowing,Copy !req
333. but if it is, we'll put some up
around the office.Copy !req
334. - I want to go to the zoo.Copy !req
335. - More ashtrays?Copy !req
336. - We can do that.Copy !req
337. - Great. Great.Copy !req
338. - My dog died.Copy !req
339. Bring my dog back.Copy !req
340. - I can't promise anything,
but, yes, I guarantee it.Copy !req
341. - Appreciate it.Copy !req
342. - And that's my
granddaughter Margaret.Copy !req
343. She's a champion archer.Copy !req
344. Also she makes soup.Copy !req
345. - Wow,
that's a riveting story, Jer.Copy !req
346. - She makes all kinds of soup.Copy !req
347. Chicken noodle.
Uh, beef noodle.Copy !req
348. Pig's feet soup.Copy !req
349. She m-fish.
Fish soup.Copy !req
350. She has won prizes
with her soup.Copy !req
351. Is that your family?Copy !req
352. - You could say that.Copy !req
353. - Your wife is beautiful.Copy !req
354. - Yeah.Copy !req
355. - Holmvik.
- Yes.Copy !req
356. - It's time to step it up.Copy !req
357. I need you mobile.Copy !req
358. - Whoa.
Bluetooth Jawbone Thinker?Copy !req
359. With noise-assassin
technology'?Copy !req
360. - Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
361. - Big deal.Copy !req
362. - Just wanted to thank youCopy !req
363. for still being
a part of the team.Copy !req
364. You know, I think you're
a regular Derek Jeter,Copy !req
365. or some sports shit.Copy !req
366. - You know, guys,
some say that luckCopy !req
367. is preparation
meeting opportunity.Copy !req
368. I say luck is for nerds
without Bluetooths.Copy !req
369. - Aha.Copy !req
370. - We're not gonna
take it anymore, guys!Copy !req
371. We need to tell corporate
to suck it!Copy !req
372. - Suck it!Copy !req
373. Oh, sorry. I thought everybody
was gonna do that.Copy !req
374. - No, we totally should.Copy !req
375. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
376. - Yeah!
Suck our dicks!Copy !req
377. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
378. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
379. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
380. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
381. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
382. - Stay here.
Get to work.Copy !req
383. - Suck our dicks!Copy !req
384. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
385. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
386. - Get them out of here.Copy !req
387. - Suck our dicks!Copy !req
388. ' GUYS, guys, guys, come on.Copy !req
389. Just take it back
outside right now.Copy !req
390. - Hell, no, we won't go...Copy !req
391. back outside.Copy !req
392. Hell, no! We won't go!Copy !req
393. Back outside!
Hell, no!Copy !req
394. - Get down! You get-Copy !req
395. Get down!Copy !req
396. - Hell, no!
We won't go!Copy !req
397. - I'm a martyr!
I am a martyr!Copy !req
398. - Move!
You're going outside!Copy !req
399. You're going outside right now!Copy !req
400. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
401. Suck our dicks!Copy !req
402. - Back outside!Copy !req
403. - Uh, yes, she is,
but can you please hold?Copy !req
404. Great. Thank you.Copy !req
405. Hi, Alice Murphy's office.Copy !req
406. No, she's not.
Can you please hold?Copy !req
407. Thank you.Copy !req
408. Hi.
Alice Murphy's office.Copy !req
409. Yes, Mr. Benson.Copy !req
410. Just a moment.
Please hold.Copy !req
411. Hey, Alice, it's Mr. Benson
on line one from corporate.Copy !req
412. - Oh, wonderful.Copy !req
413. Hey, uh, buddy, why don't
you stay on the lineCopy !req
414. and then you can see
how them big dicks swang.Copy !req
415. - Okay. Swang!Copy !req
416. Just a second.
I'll put him through.Copy !req
417. - All right.Copy !req
418. - Yeah, you can
go right through. Okay.Copy !req
419. - Hello.
Hi, Mr. Benson.Copy !req
420. Yes, everything is just fine.Copy !req
421. No, no, no,
it's not a real strike.Copy !req
422. Yeah, because they have no idea
what a real strike is.Copy !req
423. No, this is, um...Copy !req
424. this is not about
the "do not call" list.Copy !req
425. Yeah, because they
haven't even seen it.Copy !req
426. Look, half of these peopleCopy !req
427. haven't even graduated
high school, okay?Copy !req
428. They're barely
functioning alcoholics.Copy !req
429. Yeah, okay.
Give my best to Ruth.Copy !req
430. Okay.Copy !req
431. Hey, buddy.Copy !req
432. So, um, just between you and me,Copy !req
433. we're gonna keep all that
"do not call" list stuffCopy !req
434. on the hushety hush, right?Copy !req
435. - Isn't it kind of illegalCopy !req
436. to use the "do not call" list
to call people?Copy !req
437. - Yeah.Copy !req
438. Listen, do you or do you notCopy !req
439. want to run with the big dogs?Copy !req
440. - I want to run
with the big dogs.Copy !req
441. - Yeah, you do.Copy !req
442. And sometimes
when you're a big dog,Copy !req
443. you got to learn
how to wear a muzzle.Copy !req
444. Okay?Copy !req
445. - Mm-hmm.
- We hearing each other?Copy !req
446. - Yeah, well,
you're not hearing me,Copy !req
447. 'cause I got a muzzle on.Copy !req
448. - All right.Copy !req
449. That's what I like to hear.Copy !req
450. - Yeah.
- Good work.Copy !req
451. - Zip it, lock it,
keep it in my pocket.Copy !req
452. - Morning, scab.Copy !req
453. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
454. I'm sorry, Anders,
but Trix are for kids.Copy !req
455. And union workers.Copy !req
456. - Those aren't even Trix.Copy !req
457. - No, they're the imitation kindCopy !req
458. that you brought
at Traitor Joe's.Copy !req
459. What?Copy !req
460. - Traitor!Copy !req
461. - You know, you could
have said Traitor Ders.Copy !req
462. Been funnier.Copy !req
463. - What now? Traitor!Copy !req
464. You are a traitor!
- You're a traitor!Copy !req
465. - Aah!Copy !req
466. - Ow, dude.Copy !req
467. - Take a walk.
- Dude, my rotator cuff.Copy !req
468. - Go back to sniffing
Alice's ass, dude.Copy !req
469. Go!
And also give us a ride.Copy !req
470. - So we're coming.Copy !req
471. - We're following you right now.Copy !req
472. You can go ahead
and drop us off right here.Copy !req
473. - Thank you.
- Stop.Copy !req
474. - Thanks for the ride, Ders.Copy !req
475. - Strike! Strike!
Strike! Strike!Copy !req
476. - Turn your vehicle around, sir.Copy !req
477. - Do not let this communist
bitch cross this line!Copy !req
478. - Get off my hood.
I'm not a communist.Copy !req
479. Communists support unions.Copy !req
480. That's why it's called
the Soviet Union.Copy !req
481. - Is that true?Copy !req
482. - I don't know.
Commie scab!Copy !req
483. Commie scab!Copy !req
484. - Get out of my way!
Waymond, move!Copy !req
485. - Commie scab!
- Move.Copy !req
486. - He's a witch!
Burn him!Copy !req
487. - Get away from me.Copy !req
488. - Wish it didn't have to be
like this, Ders.Copy !req
489. Breaks my heart.Copy !req
490. On half-Christmas eve,
of all days.Copy !req
491. - I hope you're all
proud of yourselves.Copy !req
492. You're all filthy animals!Copy !req
493. - Fire in the hole!Copy !req
494. - Nice try.Copy !req
495. You know, honestly,
I would have-no!Copy !req
496. - Commie scab!
Commie scab!Copy !req
497. “Copy !req
498. - Here.Copy !req
499. I want you to give your friends
their last paychecks.Copy !req
500. Show 'em what team
you're rooting for, big dog.Copy !req
501. - Be my pleasure.Copy !req
502. - Hey, you're being groomed.Copy !req
503. Your path to the top
is gonna be litteredCopy !req
504. with losers like them,
"An-ders."Copy !req
505. "An-ders."Copy !req
506. - Six paid personal days
off per year.Copy !req
507. Option to buy into company
health insurance?Copy !req
508. Boring.Copy !req
509. One milkshake water fountain?
Awesome.Copy !req
510. - Psst.
No-bra Friday.Copy !req
511. - Jillian.Copy !req
512. Yes, that's a great idea.Copy !req
513. No-bra Fridays.Copy !req
514. We're not gonna wear bras
on Fridays.Copy !req
515. - Nope.Copy !req
516. - And one legit
half-Christmas partyCopy !req
517. to be paid for by the company.Copy !req
518. Yeah.Copy !req
519. - It's kind of the reason
for the season.Copy !req
520. - I'm really blown away.Copy !req
521. No, seriously, I think you guysCopy !req
522. did an amazing job on this list.Copy !req
523. I'll tell you what we should do.Copy !req
524. I think you should
chop off your dicksCopy !req
525. and then park them
inside your buttholes.Copy !req
526. - Okay, we'll use that
and then negotiate from there.Copy !req
527. - Negotiate.
- Negotiate.Copy !req
528. - Negotiate.
- Negotiations.Copy !req
529. - As you can see behind me,Copy !req
530. I have a new dream team.Copy !req
531. - Anders, I want you
to escort them out the building.Copy !req
532. - I don't think that's
gonna be happening.Copy !req
533. - Did Jamie Foxx
and Gabrielle UnionCopy !req
534. just walk in the door?Copy !req
535. Because someone's
breaking all the rules.Copy !req
536. - Where did you get this?Copy !req
537. - From the tightest
butthole on the block.Copy !req
538. Anders!Copy !req
539. - He's got a hard "On."Copy !req
540. - Yeah, he does.Copy !req
541. - And I love
milkshake water fountains.Copy !req
542. - Well, this isn't
gonna matter, anyway.Copy !req
543. - Well, why don't you
try to explain how you haveCopy !req
544. all your employees
calling peopleCopy !req
545. on the "do not call" list,
mister?Copy !req
546. - I was just following orders
to protect my job, okay'?Copy !req
547. Those numbers
came directly from corporate.Copy !req
548. - Well, then who's gonna
protect our jobs, Alice?Copy !req
549. - Fine, I will give you
your jobs back,Copy !req
550. but you are only getting
two paid personal days a year.Copy !req
551. - How do you say,
"I don't think so," in Chinese?Copy !req
552. - Fine.Copy !req
553. You can have the rest of the day
for your stupid party.Copy !req
554. - What about health insurance?Copy !req
555. My husband has lupus.Copy !req
556. - Okay, don't ruin this
for everyone, Beverly.Copy !req
557. You've got yourself a deal.Copy !req
558. - Ew. God, how have you
ever gotten laid?Copy !req
559. - College was a very drunk time
in three girls' lives.Copy !req
560. Ho!
Boom!Copy !req
561. - Look, everyone.
It's snowing.Copy !req
562. It's a white half-Christmas.Copy !req
563. - God.
- Whoo!Copy !req
564. - Beautiful.Copy !req
565. - Heads up, guys.
I'm cleaning my grill.Copy !req
566. - Nice.Copy !req