Whose Line Is It Anyway? 7x4

Directed by

Elizabeth Gillies as Self • Charles Esten as Self

Guests: comedian Charles Esten and actress Elizabeth Gillies.

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1. (Drew Carey) 'Good evening, everybody.'

2. 'And welcome to "Whose line is it anyway?"'

3. 'On tonight show, you wouldn't kick him out of bed'

4. 'for eatin' crackers, Wayne Brady.'

5. 'Oh, in a heartbeat, Chip Esten.'

6. 'Oh, would I? Colin Mochrie.'

7. 'And not if he was the last Ryan Stiles on earth.'

8. I'm your host Drew Carey. Now let's have some fun.

9. Everybody.

10. Thank you very much.

11. Welcome to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

12. The show where everything's made up

13. and the points don't matter.

14. That's right, the points are useless

15. just like public transportation here in Los Angeles.

16. 'Uh, let's get this show going.'

17. The game called Weird News Casters.

18. It's for four of you. Colin you're the..

19. '... anchor of a local news show.'

20. Uh, Chip you're the co-anchor on the local news show

21. and you're gonna be the lion from the "Wizard Of Oz."

22. 'But instead of the wizard givin' you courage'

23. 'she gave you an overactive libido.'

24. 'Wayne, you're doin' the sports.'

25. 'You're a desperate caveman.'

26. You're gonna be looking for food

27. a warm cave and a mate.

28. 'Uh, Ryan, you're doin' the weather.'

29. 'You become extremely nervous when you suddenly discover'

30. it's the first day of Ryan hunting season.

31. 'What you hear the music, start the news, Colin.'

32. Welcome to the 6 o'clock News.

33. I'm your anchor Lars of the Red Hot Lovers.

34. Our top story today.

35. The Great Flydini

36. The Shrek Moon Circus human cannonball

37. for the last 50 years, retired yesterday.

38. When asked if was gonna be replaced, the circus owner

39. said "No, it's hard to find a man of that caliber."

40. And now, let's go over to our new co-anchor

41. the Cowardly Lion. Cowardly.

42. Thank you, Lars. Ohh..

43. Look at this place. It's so kinda, it's so, it's so..

44. Whoa!

45. You're no Dorothy, but you'll do.

46. Put it up, put it up, come on.

47. Exit stage right.

48. - Uh— - Point taken.

49. Aright then, let's see what's happening

50. in the world of sports with Oog.

51. 'Oog.'

52. Rocks fall from the sky.

53. Must find pretty, pretty woman.

54. Pretty woman. Pretty woman.

55. Thank you, all.

56. Come by later. I'll give you a bath.

57. Well, let's see what's happening in the world of weather. Ryan.

58. Well, thank you very much, Colin.

59. We've got rain, rain, rain.

60. Rain till Thursday.

61. My God! It's Ryan hunting season.

62. Hey, you guys got..

63. Got to be someone else.

64. I'm afraid you boys have the wrong person.

65. That's right, the wrong guy.

66. Hey, better luck next year.

67. Damn! It's not working.

68. Although I sound, I must..

69. Well, that's the 6 o'clock news. See you tomorrow

70. same time, same news.

71. Thank you very much. Thank you.

72. - What's your name, bud? - Matt.

73. A 1,000 points to you, Matt.

74. Hey, good job, Matt.

75. Good job, Matt. That was good.

76. You, uh, you'd ruin the guy's life

77. doing something like that, you know.

78. Now, Chip and Wayne are gonna sing a song

79. to someone in the audience with Laura Hall

80. 'Linda Taylor, Cece Worrall.'

81. Well, what's your name, please?

82. - Mira. - Mira.

83. And what do you do for living, Mira?

84. I'm a Hebrew teacher for first grade.

85. 'Oh, you're first grade Hebrew teacher.'

86. 'Come on down here, Mira.'

87. Mira here, is a first grade Hebrew teacher.

88. - Good. Yes. - 'Yeah.'

89. 'Hope you know a lot of words.'

90. 'Because you're gonna sing a song to her'

91. using her and occupation.

92. I want you to sing a song to her like a gospel song.

93. Take it away.

94. Yay!

95. Shalom.

96. Ma shlomcha.

97. Toda.

98. Thank you so much.

99. Thank you very much.

100. Give it up.

101. Man!

102. 'Oh, the kids from class are gonna be glad'

103. to see you on TV. 1000 points to me, Mira.

104. 'Thanks a lot.'

105. I'm so glad that I was raised speaking Hebrew.

106. So I was able to do all those references. Phew.

107. 'Yeah, because we sit around speaking Hebrew all day'

108. back in the hood.

109. Hey, yo, G-dawg, baraca-taca-paca.

110. No, G, maruca-pepe.

111. What's up?

112. Now, we have a game on this Whose Line show

113. called Whose Line.

114. 'This is for Ryan and Colin.'

115. 'I want you to come up and get your envelope.'

116. 'Put those in your pockets.'

117. 'Now, what happens, before the show, we asked the audience'

118. 'to write down suggestions of individual lines and'

119. Colin and Ryan do the scene, and they have to use those lines

120. 'in the scene somewhere.'

121. The scene is, moments before sunrise

122. Buffy the Vampire Slayer..

123. '... who is Colin.'

124. You're Buffy, though, that's a cool chick to be.

125. - Yeah. - 'Yeah.'

126. And you come to kill Count Dracula Ryan

127. 'as he is draining the last drops of blood'

128. 'from his latest victim.'

129. So that's the scene. Take it away.

130. (Colin) 'Hey, stop it.'

131. Oh, that doesn't scare me.

132. I'm Buffy!

133. Prince of darkness, your days are over.

134. Prepare to die.

135. I've lived 5,000 years, and never been killed.

136. What makes you think you can do the job?

137. Because the vampire slayer motto says I must..

138. grab the handle, Stella, and give it a yank.

139. - Stella is my knife. - Oh..

140. You're about to get yanked.

141. Oh, like I wasn't expecting that.

142. When I teeth're in your neck, you'll cry for me to stop.

143. Like all the others, you'll yell

144. "No! No! Your fanny is a masterpiece."

145. And it is!

146. Come look at it. Look at it.

147. Look at it!

148. 'Look at it.'

149. Look at the fanny.

150. Come to the fanny.

151. Ah!

152. No, I will not be tempted by the fanny of darkness.

153. Is there nothing I can say to you to help you

154. to join the dark side?

155. I will never join the dark side.

156. Why don't you stop being a vampire?

157. Why don't you do something good with your life?

158. I have no other skills, this is all know.

159. You know what? My mother gave me good advice, and I'll tell you.

160. (Ryan) 'What?'

161. "Hoochie mama's comin' home!"

162. 'Do you understand, count?'

163. I think I do.

164. Hoochie mama's comin' home.

165. What you're saying is, join our side.

166. Don't do the nasty deeds you do.

167. Give up your teeth, come over and be a normal human.

168. Is that what you're saying?

169. 'Cause that's what I don't wanna do!

170. Hoochie mama!

171. Ah.

172. Alright, enough with the cracks.

173. Prepare to meet your death!

174. Before I do, remember these words.

175. If only Mira was here.

176. - It's Transylvanian. - Oh.

177. And what it means is

178. "Who let the dogs out?"

179. We'll be right back with more Whose Line.

180. Don't go anywhere.

181. Hey, welcome back, everybody.

182. Welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

183. The show that gives Colin Mochrie a reason to live.

184. 'We're gonna keep the show going'

185. with a game called Greatest Hits.

186. It's for everybody.

187. Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, Cece Worrall

188. 'Colin, Ryan, Wayne, Chip. Come on down here, really quick.'

189. (Drew) 'Somebody from the middle of the audience here..'

190. give me a name of an exciting European city.

191. - Rome. - Venice.

192. Rome! That's one we haven't done, Rome.

193. Let's do Rome.

194. - Rome sounds very exciting. - 'Yeah, it is.'

195. Can't wait to see how you do it.

196. Let's hear the songs of Rome.

197. - Hey, Colin. - Hey, Ryan.

198. What do you call an Italian nomad?

199. - A wanderer? - No, he's a Roman.

200. Ha ha ha!

201. And you know..

202. we've assembled, 52 songs on 52 CDs

203. all about the wonderful city of Rome.

204. A place I've never been.

205. No, but we've heard about it.

206. Oh, have we?

207. Oh, it's been around for a hundred years.

208. At least.

209. - And backwards, it's "Emor." - I didn't know that.

210. A little fun fact.

211. Did you know that Embargo, backwards, is "O-grab-me"?

212. Boy, you've thought of that one a long time ago.

213. You know, I know you weren't around for the swing era.

214. But, I bet you grew up watching a lot of television.

215. - I did indeed. - And you know what?

216. A lot of television stars made the switch

217. from television to recording artists.

218. Oh, in the swing thing.

219. No, that has nothing to do with the swing thing.

220. Oh, I'm sorry.

221. That was just like a little fun fact.

222. People like William Shatner, David Sol, John Travolta

223. all had their records.

224. And they all swing?

225. You watched way too much television, didn't you?

226. - Told ya. - I know, Gilligan.

227. You know..

228. that one of the most successful..

229. going from television to recording—

230. Now I see where you're heading. Okay.

231. - Of course, "The Brady Bunch." - Oh.

232. - I had the hots for Alice. - Oh, I know.

233. Sorry, I was just working with the visual.

234. But they're a great song

235. and I'm sure you'll be singing along with this cut.

236. - It's not. - Yup, beats the heck out of me.

237. I wonder what they're up to now.

238. I don't know. Hey, you know a fun fact?

239. Nobody noticed when Wayne took over the role of Peter

240. for the Brady Bride's come back.

241. Oh, I did not know that.

242. You know... I was alive in the 60s

243. although, I was a very young boy.

244. But I used to listen to my parents listening..

245. listening to rhythm and blues.

246. 60s rhythm and blues, my favorite.

247. - I have nothing to add. - Okay.

248. And I think one of my favorite 60s rhythm and blues

249. romantic songs has to be, "My Tower Is Leanin'."

250. We'll be back with more "Whose Line." Don't go away.

251. Hey, welcome back, everybody.

252. I had a good time with everybody. I hate to do this

253. but you gotta do an Irish drinking song. Come on.

254. 'Laura Hall on piano, Laura Hall.'

255. Finally, Drew gets his revenge.

256. Do an Irish drinking song for us, everybody.

257. What I need from the center part of the audience

258. 'give me bad thing to happen to you on a date.'

259. (female #1) 'Fell out of the car.'

260. Fell out of the car.

261. 'Thank you. Fell out of the car.'

262. 'So, we're gonna hear'

263. the "Fell out of a car" Irish drinking song.

264. Take it away, Laura Hall.

265. We'll be back with more

266. "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" after this. Don't go away.

267. Everybody, welcome back to "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"

268. 'Tonight, who's the winner?'

269. 'Who's the winner tonight? It's a four-way tie.'

270. 'I want you to do the credits as'

271. trash talking basketball players.

272. Thanks for watching. Goodnight. See you next time.

273. Are you guys ready to play or not? Let's go.

274. Hey, don't be pushin' my rear mullet.

275. Oh, I'm sorry, man. you know..

276. I'm sorry, man.

277. You want some of this?