1. On tonight's show, you
treat this place like a hotel,
Greg Proops.
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2. Wait till your father
gets home, Wayne Brady.
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3. Why don't you get a job?
Colin Mochrie.
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4. And, son? I have no son,
Ryan Stiles!
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5. And I'm your host Drew Carey,
come on down,
let's have some fun.
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6. Hello, and welcome to
Whose Line is it Anyway?
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7. The show where everything
is made up and
the points don't matter.
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8. That's right, the points
are just like
parking tickets...
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9. Let's start the show with
a game called
"Let's Make a Date."
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10. This is for all four of you.
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11. Greg, you're gonna be appearing
on a dating-type show.
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12. Ryan, Colin and Wayne
are contestants hoping
to be picked by Greg
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13. for their big date.
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14. We've given them each
a strange characteristic
or identity.
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15. It's all written on
these cards. They've never seen
the cards before.
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16. Greg, whenever you're ready,
start questioning them
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17. and then you'll have to
guess who they are
at the end of the game.
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18. All right, Mr. Carey.
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19. Hi. Contestant number one.
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20. I like a man who's macho,
not a one that's asexual.
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21. - What would you do—
- Hoo-hoo!
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22. What would you do to
prove that you are
a real man?
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23. I'm not like other guys.
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24. I'm not like all the other
g...
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25. Hoo!
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26. Sorry about that.
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27. That was full-on freaky.
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28. Contestant number two...
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29. Contestant number two?
- Yeah.
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30. Full moon!
Full moon!
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31. Contestant
number three...
Yes.
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32. - Hello. Hello.
- Hello to you.
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33. What kind of poem would you
tell me to romance me?
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34. A poem? Well, let me see.
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35. - Ow!
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36. Wow. That was
totally seductive.
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37. Contestant number one,
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38. I like the differences
between men and like, women.
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39. Huh? There's a difference?
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40. What you talk...
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41. I'll just skip the question
and go to number two.
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42. - Number two...
- Mmm-hmm.
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43. - Um—
- We're going down!
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44. - Number three.
Yes.
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45. I like to go out to dinner.
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46. Where would you take me
if we were going to go out
on a festive romantic date?
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47. Why go out for dinner?
We could just have
something here.
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48. Ha!
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49. So damn funny.
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50. So, who do you think
they were?
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51. I'm gonna take a wild stab
on Wayne...
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52. You'll never get this one.
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53. Michael Jackson turning in
the Thriller video...
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54. - Werewolf guy, yeah.
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55. And Colin is
doing Drew Carey on a plane.
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56. And Ryan is a mad scientist
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57. who takes a potion
and then becomes Colin Mochrie.
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58. - And Wayne Brady. Yes.
- And Wayne Brady!
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59. Man... I'd like to give
a thousand points to
Colin Mochrie
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60. for putting up with
the bald jokes.
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61. - Thousand points to you, Colin.
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62. Way to go, Baldy.
Another thousand points,
how about that?
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63. Good for you, chrome dome.
Hey, another thousand points,
how about that?
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64. Can we watch movies
on his head later?
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65. Another thousand points.
How about that. I'm joking.
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66. It's not a forehead,
it's a five-head.
Another thousand points.
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67. Now, let's go on to
a game called "News Flash."
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68. It's for Ryan and Greg
and Colin, come on up here.
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69. This is one of our
favorite games with Colin.
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70. Ryan and Greg are gonna be
two news anchors in the studio,
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71. and Colin is gonna be
in the field as a reporter
covering a breaking news story.
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72. And he won't know
what's behind him.
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73. Even if he turns around
and looks right at it,
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74. all he can see is
a green screen.
He won't see it,
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75. and he has to try to guess
what it is.
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76. So, Ryan and Greg,
whenever you're ready,
over to you in the studio.
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77. - She just won't do it.
- No, she won't.
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78. - No matter what I ask.
- Well, it doesn't...
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79. - Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
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80. We here have to interrupt
this program because we have
a late breaking news flash.
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81. We have an anchor out
in the field, Colin Mochrie.
Colin, can you hear us?
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82. Can you believe this?
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83. Colin, are you
all right? You look rattled.
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84. I'm scared.
I'm very, very scared.
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85. But I will stay here
until this story is reported.
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86. Colin, can you describe
what you're seeing?
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87. Well, it was a fondue party
that just went awry.
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88. And then this exploded.
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89. It's been going on
for five hours now.
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90. I am a'scared.
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91. Have you heard anything
about the little airplane
going into the hangar?
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92. Oh, I missed that.
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93. Colin,
do the authorities expect
any sort of...
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94. any sort of change
expected there?
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95. None whatsoever!
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96. It's very hard for me
to keep impartial.
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97. Yes,
I would guess it is.
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98. The conditions around you,
are they sanitary?
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99. Well, I cleaned up a little.
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100. 'Cause earlier
I was really scared.
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101. Colin, please.
Quit kidding around,
this is a serious story.
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102. All right, Colin,
good coverage on the story.
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103. Why don't you head on back to
your crib and we'll contact you
a little later.
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104. You've gotta walk
before you can run, Colin.
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105. Is that some kind of bald joke?
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106. So, Colin,
can you guess where you are?
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107. - I'm in amongst little babies?
Yes.
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108. All right.
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109. Yes, and they all had
more hair.
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110. A thousand points
for you, buddy.
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111. - Aw, thanks.
- You're welcome.
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112. Let's move on
with a game called...
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113. I'll tell you the name
of the game in a second.
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114. First let's have
Ryan, Colin and Greg come up.
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115. You're gonna have the help
of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.
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116. Why don't you come up here.
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117. Now, what I need from
this back part of the audience.
Just gimme a name.
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118. Joe. Okay, Joe,
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119. and somebody give me a hobby
that you have.
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120. Fishing. Fishing.
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121. What this game is called,
is called "Funeral."
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122. - And...
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123. It's called Funeral.
This is the funeral of Joe.
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124. This is Joe's funeral who died
in a freak fishing accident
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125. and Ryan and Colin will give
a memory of the deceased.
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126. And then, together with Greg,
they're gonna sing
a tribute song
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127. about Joe and
this fishing accident,
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128. but all in one voice.
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129. They're gonna have to sing
the song all at the same
time, together.
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130. So, whenever you're ready,
take it away.
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131. Thank you
for coming here today.
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132. We know why we're here
to pay tribute to Joe
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133. who passed away last weekend
in a bizarre fishing accident.
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134. Blake, you were
his fishing trainer.
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135. Would you like to share
a reminiscence with us
of Joseph today?
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136. - Yeah, I would.
- All right.
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137. He was one of the best guys
I ever trained.
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138. We used to go and hang up fish
in freezers, and make him
punch it.
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139. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing.
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140. - His name was Joe, right?
- Yes, his name was Joe.
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141. - Little Billy...
Yes?
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142. You were with Joe
when he passed on that day.
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143. You were in the boat
with him, and...
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144. would you like to share
something with us today,
little Billy?
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145. You can hear
the sympathetic voices.
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146. - I was in the boat that day...
- Yes.
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147. I feel partly responsible
for Joe's death.
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148. I actually saved him,
but as you know
Joe's a small man,
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149. and I threw him back!
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150. I had him right there
in my hands
and I threw him back.
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151. I didn't even measure him.
He might have been okay.
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152. That's all right.
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153. - You mustn't—
- It's the law!
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154. - You mustn't blame yourself.
- I do.
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155. Joe was very tiny,
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156. but he looks so beautiful
mounted here.
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157. Why don't we sing a song
of tribute to Joe.
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158. Be right back with more
Whose Line is it Anyway?
Right after this.
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159. Don't go away.
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160. Thank you, everybody.
Welcome back to
Whose Line is it Anyway?
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161. The show where everything
is made up and
the points don't matter.
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162. A lot of people
have been asking...
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163. and let me tell you,
the only difference
between our cast
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164. and the cast
of Friends is...
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165. that is cast of Friends is
richer, better-looking
and more popular.
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166. Other than that,
no difference at all.
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167. That's it.
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168. Let's play a game called
"Party Quirks."
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169. - This is for...
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170. Greg is the host
of the party.
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171. Ryan, Colin and Wayne
are gonna be the guests.
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172. We've given them each
a strange quirk or identity.
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173. They've never seen
those cards before.
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174. Form a line-up there, and
I'm gonna bring 'em in
one at a time at the doorbell.
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175. And Greg,
whenever you're ready,
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176. Jell-O shots.
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177. Doodads.
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178. - Britney Spears CD...
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179. - Hey, Wayne...
- It's all right.
It's all right. It's all right.
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180. It's okay. It's okay.
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181. It's all right, lady.
I'll come back for you.
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182. Wayne?
- Okay, follow me.
We gotta go out this way!
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183. - Come on! Come on!
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
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184. Get down! Get down!
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185. Come on! Let's go,
keep going.
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186. Keep going. Keep going.
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187. - Oh no!
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188. I forgot the baby!
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189. - I forgot the...
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190. - Hello, Colin.
- Hello.
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191. - You all right there, tiger?
- Oh, hey...
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192. - Back off.
- Oh, hey... whoa. Whoa.
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193. Colin...
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194. Have you met Wayne?
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195. - He's a fireman trying to lead
everyone outta a burning house.
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196. I gotta get the door.
You just enjoy yourself
Daddy-o.
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197. - Hello, Ry.
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198. I've got a package
for Greg Proops.
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199. I'm Greg Proops.
Come on in.
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200. It's mighty hot out there.
You wouldn't have
anything to drink, would you?
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201. Sure. Would you like a beer?
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202. Yeah, beer would be fine.
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203. - Hello.
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204. Hey. Hey.
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205. Okay, you're
the life of the party.
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206. You old man who's at
a karaoke bar
entertaining his friends.
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207. - You're very close.
- I am very close.
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208. Look, I'm even closer now.
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209. You old man who was a former
vaudevillian, who's
entertaining everyone...
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210. - Hello.
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211. I have a special delivery
for your husband.
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212. Oh, he's not home?
May I come in?
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213. No, he's not home.
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214. You've arrived at
a rather fortunate time.
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215. Oh, '70s pornstar dude.
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216. - Yeah, he's a...
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217. That's close enough.
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218. A series of delivery guys
in porn films.
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219. - Yeah, you've seen that.
I had to just
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220. think what that'd be like,
'cause I've never...
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221. Oh, my God,
the survivors are back.
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222. Come on back, guys.
Come on back.
Take your seats.
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223. - Great stuff.
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224. All right,
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225. I like how they all
looked at each other,
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226. "Should we crawl? I don't
know,
should we crawl? All right."
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227. Let's play a game called
"African Chant."
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228. This is for all four of you.
Have a nice round of applause
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229. - for Laura Hall
and Linda Taylor.
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230. Wayne, come on down here.
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231. What's your name?
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232. - I'm Crystal Snow.
- Crystal. Okay,
your name's Crystal,
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233. and what do you do
for a living, Crystal?
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234. I'm a hawker.
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235. And...
what does that mean?
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236. I go up and down into
the stands and I have peanuts
and popcorn and licorice...
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237. Whoa, who do you work for?
Dodgers, or something
like that?
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238. No, I work for Family Affairs.
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239. It's the Perris Auto Speedway.
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240. Oh, okay. Why don't
you come on down here.
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241. - This way. This way.
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242. Okay, come on up here,
Crystal.
Say hi to Wayne.
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243. This is Crystal.
She works as a
self-described hawker.
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244. And you're gonna sing to her
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245. in the style of
an African Chant.
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246. And these guys gonna be
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247. honkeys behind you
are gonna back you up.
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248. Take it away
Wayne and the Crackers
with the African Chant.
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249. Be right back.
Find out who the winner is
right after this.
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250. Hey, and welcome back to
Whose Line is it Anyway?
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251. Tonight's winner
is Greg Proops.
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252. - Greg Proops is the winner.
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253. The rest of us are gonna do
a game for you called "Props."
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254. Let's have our props.
This is for me and Ryan, right?
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255. - Yeah.
- Okay.
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256. And you guys go get your prop.
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257. What's gonna happen is,
we're gonna have to back
and forth as fast as we can
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258. and think of as many ideas
with these props as we can...
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259. starting with, me and Ryan.
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260. Hi, and welcome to
Skiing with Dwarf.
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261. - What's up, man?
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262. Hey, man, I can't believe
we're wearing the same costume!
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263. Oh my god, they killed Kenny!
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264. God bless us, one and all.
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265. While you working on the
railroad, a train came along
and cut that smurf in half.
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266. I think I hit an artery.
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267. See, this way
I'll be able to run
at 600 mph.
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268. We are gathered here
to mourn Sideshow Bob.
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269. We'll be right back with more
Whose Line right after this.
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270. Hey, and and welcome back to
Whose Line is it Anyway?
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271. Tonight we're gonna end
the show with everybody
reading the credits for you.
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272. And I want you guys
to read the credits as
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273. lingerie models in a catalogue.
Goodnight, everybody,
thanks for watching.
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274. - Ryan Stiles.
- Dan Patterson.
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275. Drew Carey.
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276. This is the Tom Park.
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277. Look, I'm wearing
nothing but Greg Proops.
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278. - Jonathan Barry.
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279. This is the Colin Mochrie.
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280. It's barely there!
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