Whose Line Is It Anyway? 6x7

Directed by

Jonathan Mangum guests on the improvisational-comedy showcase in which the performers wing it unscripted and unrehearsed.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. On tonight's show, you treat this place like a hotel, Greg Proops.

2. Wait till your father gets home, Wayne Brady.

3. Why don't you get a job? Colin Mochrie.

4. And, son? I have no son, Ryan Stiles!

5. And I'm your host Drew Carey, come on down, let's have some fun.

6. Hello, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?

7. The show where everything is made up and the points don't matter.

8. That's right, the points are just like parking tickets...

9. Let's start the show with a game called "Let's Make a Date."

10. This is for all four of you.

11. Greg, you're gonna be appearing on a dating-type show.

12. Ryan, Colin and Wayne are contestants hoping to be picked by Greg

13. for their big date.

14. We've given them each a strange characteristic or identity.

15. It's all written on these cards. They've never seen the cards before.

16. Greg, whenever you're ready, start questioning them

17. and then you'll have to guess who they are at the end of the game.

18. All right, Mr. Carey.

19. Hi. Contestant number one.

20. I like a man who's macho, not a one that's asexual.

21. - What would you do— - Hoo-hoo!

22. What would you do to prove that you are a real man?

23. I'm not like other guys.

24. I'm not like all the other g...

25. Hoo!

26. Sorry about that.

27. That was full-on freaky.

28. Contestant number two...

29. Contestant number two? - Yeah.

30. Full moon! Full moon!

31. Contestant number three... Yes.

32. - Hello. Hello. - Hello to you.

33. What kind of poem would you tell me to romance me?

34. A poem? Well, let me see.

35. - Ow!

36. Wow. That was totally seductive.

37. Contestant number one,

38. I like the differences between men and like, women.

39. Huh? There's a difference?

40. What you talk...

41. I'll just skip the question and go to number two.

42. - Number two... - Mmm-hmm.

43. - Um— - We're going down!

44. - Number three. Yes.

45. I like to go out to dinner.

46. Where would you take me if we were going to go out on a festive romantic date?

47. Why go out for dinner? We could just have something here.

48. Ha!

49. So damn funny.

50. So, who do you think they were?

51. I'm gonna take a wild stab on Wayne...

52. You'll never get this one.

53. Michael Jackson turning in the Thriller video...

54. - Werewolf guy, yeah.

55. And Colin is doing Drew Carey on a plane.

56. And Ryan is a mad scientist

57. who takes a potion and then becomes Colin Mochrie.

58. - And Wayne Brady. Yes. - And Wayne Brady!

59. Man... I'd like to give a thousand points to Colin Mochrie

60. for putting up with the bald jokes.

61. - Thousand points to you, Colin.

62. Way to go, Baldy. Another thousand points, how about that?

63. Good for you, chrome dome. Hey, another thousand points, how about that?

64. Can we watch movies on his head later?

65. Another thousand points. How about that. I'm joking.

66. It's not a forehead, it's a five-head. Another thousand points.

67. Now, let's go on to a game called "News Flash."

68. It's for Ryan and Greg and Colin, come on up here.

69. This is one of our favorite games with Colin.

70. Ryan and Greg are gonna be two news anchors in the studio,

71. and Colin is gonna be in the field as a reporter covering a breaking news story.

72. And he won't know what's behind him.

73. Even if he turns around and looks right at it,

74. all he can see is a green screen. He won't see it,

75. and he has to try to guess what it is.

76. So, Ryan and Greg, whenever you're ready, over to you in the studio.

77. - She just won't do it. - No, she won't.

78. - No matter what I ask. - Well, it doesn't...

79. - Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

80. We here have to interrupt this program because we have a late breaking news flash.

81. We have an anchor out in the field, Colin Mochrie. Colin, can you hear us?

82. Can you believe this?

83. Colin, are you all right? You look rattled.

84. I'm scared. I'm very, very scared.

85. But I will stay here until this story is reported.

86. Colin, can you describe what you're seeing?

87. Well, it was a fondue party that just went awry.

88. And then this exploded.

89. It's been going on for five hours now.

90. I am a'scared.

91. Have you heard anything about the little airplane going into the hangar?

92. Oh, I missed that.

93. Colin, do the authorities expect any sort of...

94. any sort of change expected there?

95. None whatsoever!

96. It's very hard for me to keep impartial.

97. Yes, I would guess it is.

98. The conditions around you, are they sanitary?

99. Well, I cleaned up a little.

100. 'Cause earlier I was really scared.

101. Colin, please. Quit kidding around, this is a serious story.

102. All right, Colin, good coverage on the story.

103. Why don't you head on back to your crib and we'll contact you a little later.

104. You've gotta walk before you can run, Colin.

105. Is that some kind of bald joke?

106. So, Colin, can you guess where you are?

107. - I'm in amongst little babies? Yes.

108. All right.

109. Yes, and they all had more hair.

110. A thousand points for you, buddy.

111. - Aw, thanks. - You're welcome.

112. Let's move on with a game called...

113. I'll tell you the name of the game in a second.

114. First let's have Ryan, Colin and Greg come up.

115. You're gonna have the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.

116. Why don't you come up here.

117. Now, what I need from this back part of the audience. Just gimme a name.

118. Joe. Okay, Joe,

119. and somebody give me a hobby that you have.

120. Fishing. Fishing.

121. What this game is called, is called "Funeral."

122. - And...

123. It's called Funeral. This is the funeral of Joe.

124. This is Joe's funeral who died in a freak fishing accident

125. and Ryan and Colin will give a memory of the deceased.

126. And then, together with Greg, they're gonna sing a tribute song

127. about Joe and this fishing accident,

128. but all in one voice.

129. They're gonna have to sing the song all at the same time, together.

130. So, whenever you're ready, take it away.

131. Thank you for coming here today.

132. We know why we're here to pay tribute to Joe

133. who passed away last weekend in a bizarre fishing accident.

134. Blake, you were his fishing trainer.

135. Would you like to share a reminiscence with us of Joseph today?

136. - Yeah, I would. - All right.

137. He was one of the best guys I ever trained.

138. We used to go and hang up fish in freezers, and make him punch it.

139. Thank you. Thank you for sharing.

140. - His name was Joe, right? - Yes, his name was Joe.

141. - Little Billy... Yes?

142. You were with Joe when he passed on that day.

143. You were in the boat with him, and...

144. would you like to share something with us today, little Billy?

145. You can hear the sympathetic voices.

146. - I was in the boat that day... - Yes.

147. I feel partly responsible for Joe's death.

148. I actually saved him, but as you know Joe's a small man,

149. and I threw him back!

150. I had him right there in my hands and I threw him back.

151. I didn't even measure him. He might have been okay.

152. That's all right.

153. - You mustn't— - It's the law!

154. - You mustn't blame yourself. - I do.

155. Joe was very tiny,

156. but he looks so beautiful mounted here.

157. Why don't we sing a song of tribute to Joe.

158. Be right back with more Whose Line is it Anyway? Right after this.

159. Don't go away.

160. Thank you, everybody. Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway?

161. The show where everything is made up and the points don't matter.

162. A lot of people have been asking...

163. and let me tell you, the only difference between our cast

164. and the cast of Friends is...

165. that is cast of Friends is richer, better-looking and more popular.

166. Other than that, no difference at all.

167. That's it.

168. Let's play a game called "Party Quirks."

169. - This is for...

170. Greg is the host of the party.

171. Ryan, Colin and Wayne are gonna be the guests.

172. We've given them each a strange quirk or identity.

173. They've never seen those cards before.

174. Form a line-up there, and I'm gonna bring 'em in one at a time at the doorbell.

175. And Greg, whenever you're ready,

176. Jell-O shots.

177. Doodads.

178. - Britney Spears CD...

179. - Hey, Wayne... - It's all right. It's all right. It's all right.

180. It's okay. It's okay.

181. It's all right, lady. I'll come back for you.

182. Wayne? - Okay, follow me. We gotta go out this way!

183. - Come on! Come on! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

184. Get down! Get down!

185. Come on! Let's go, keep going.

186. Keep going. Keep going.

187. - Oh no!

188. I forgot the baby!

189. - I forgot the...

190. - Hello, Colin. - Hello.

191. - You all right there, tiger? - Oh, hey...

192. - Back off. - Oh, hey... whoa. Whoa.

193. Colin...

194. Have you met Wayne?

195. - He's a fireman trying to lead everyone outta a burning house.

196. I gotta get the door. You just enjoy yourself Daddy-o.

197. - Hello, Ry.

198. I've got a package for Greg Proops.

199. I'm Greg Proops. Come on in.

200. It's mighty hot out there. You wouldn't have anything to drink, would you?

201. Sure. Would you like a beer?

202. Yeah, beer would be fine.

203. - Hello.

204. Hey. Hey.

205. Okay, you're the life of the party.

206. You old man who's at a karaoke bar entertaining his friends.

207. - You're very close. - I am very close.

208. Look, I'm even closer now.

209. You old man who was a former vaudevillian, who's entertaining everyone...

210. - Hello.

211. I have a special delivery for your husband.

212. Oh, he's not home? May I come in?

213. No, he's not home.

214. You've arrived at a rather fortunate time.

215. Oh, '70s pornstar dude.

216. - Yeah, he's a...

217. That's close enough.

218. A series of delivery guys in porn films.

219. - Yeah, you've seen that. I had to just

220. think what that'd be like, 'cause I've never...

221. Oh, my God, the survivors are back.

222. Come on back, guys. Come on back. Take your seats.

223. - Great stuff.

224. All right,

225. I like how they all looked at each other,

226. "Should we crawl? I don't know, should we crawl? All right."

227. Let's play a game called "African Chant."

228. This is for all four of you. Have a nice round of applause

229. - for Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.

230. Wayne, come on down here.

231. What's your name?

232. - I'm Crystal Snow. - Crystal. Okay, your name's Crystal,

233. and what do you do for a living, Crystal?

234. I'm a hawker.

235. And... what does that mean?

236. I go up and down into the stands and I have peanuts and popcorn and licorice...

237. Whoa, who do you work for? Dodgers, or something like that?

238. No, I work for Family Affairs.

239. It's the Perris Auto Speedway.

240. Oh, okay. Why don't you come on down here.

241. - This way. This way.

242. Okay, come on up here, Crystal. Say hi to Wayne.

243. This is Crystal. She works as a self-described hawker.

244. And you're gonna sing to her

245. in the style of an African Chant.

246. And these guys gonna be

247. honkeys behind you are gonna back you up.

248. Take it away Wayne and the Crackers with the African Chant.

249. Be right back. Find out who the winner is right after this.

250. Hey, and welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway?

251. Tonight's winner is Greg Proops.

252. - Greg Proops is the winner.

253. The rest of us are gonna do a game for you called "Props."

254. Let's have our props. This is for me and Ryan, right?

255. - Yeah. - Okay.

256. And you guys go get your prop.

257. What's gonna happen is, we're gonna have to back and forth as fast as we can

258. and think of as many ideas with these props as we can...

259. starting with, me and Ryan.

260. Hi, and welcome to Skiing with Dwarf.

261. - What's up, man?

262. Hey, man, I can't believe we're wearing the same costume!

263. Oh my god, they killed Kenny!

264. God bless us, one and all.

265. While you working on the railroad, a train came along and cut that smurf in half.

266. I think I hit an artery.

267. See, this way I'll be able to run at 600 mph.

268. We are gathered here to mourn Sideshow Bob.

269. We'll be right back with more Whose Line right after this.

270. Hey, and and welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway?

271. Tonight we're gonna end the show with everybody reading the credits for you.

272. And I want you guys to read the credits as

273. lingerie models in a catalogue. Goodnight, everybody, thanks for watching.

274. - Ryan Stiles. - Dan Patterson.

275. Drew Carey.

276. This is the Tom Park.

277. Look, I'm wearing nothing but Greg Proops.

278. - Jonathan Barry.

279. This is the Colin Mochrie.

280. It's barely there!