Whose Line Is It Anyway? 6x4

Directed by

Jonathan Mangum guests on the improvisational-comedy showcase in which the performers wing it unscripted and unrehearsed.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. On tonight's show, a little short off the tee, Greg Proops.

2. He's been hookin' all day, Wayne Brady.

3. Can't keep his balls out of the rough, Colin Mochrie.

4. And just grips it and rips it, Ryan Stiles.

5. And I'm your host Drew Carey. Come on down, let's have some fun!

6. Hello!

7. Hello. Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

8. The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

9. That's right, the points don't matter, just like a stripper's name.

10. So, let's start off with a game called "Let's Make a Date."

11. This is for all four of you. Wayne,

12. And Ryan, Colin and Greg are gonna be contestants on the show.

13. We're giving them each a strange characteristic or identity.

14. They're on these cards. They've never seen the cards before.

15. And Wayne's gonna question them about

16. their suitability for a date and guess who they are.

17. So, Wayne, whenever you're ready, off you go.

18. Hello, bachelor number one.

19. Yeah. Right.

20. I used to be number one.

21. Yeah, now where am I? Number two or three.

22. You don't even remember my name now. Perfect.

23. We sleep together a dozen times and now I'm just "number one." Perfect. Fine.

24. Okay. Uh-huh. Whatever.

25. Bachelor number two.

26. Where do you enjoy going, and would you take me? Hmm.

27. Well, I think—

28. Oh, he's butt ugly! Butt ugly!

29. I wouldn't take him if he was the last thing on Earth.

30. And I stress the word "thing." Ugly!

31. - Bachelor number three? Yes, hello.

32. - Hi. - Greetings.

33. Nice to make your acquaintance.

34. I find that going to the grocery store

35. at 3:00 in the morning isn't crazy.

36. It's just fun!

37. - Three o'clock in the morning. - Mmm-hmm.

38. "It was dark. A little rain dropping on my head."

39. "Slight rain dropping—"

40. Make it "a lot of rain."

41. I know, Mother. Shut up!

42. "Slight rain dropping."

43. - Bachelor number one? Oh, you're finally back to me.

44. Perfect. Fine.

45. He "went out" with him. Now he's gone.

46. - Okay, bachelor number one— - Oh, you shut up. Just shut up!

47. I know you been cheating on me—

48. I know you been cheating again.

49. Go on, cheat with the other two.

50. See if I care. I'll be back in my trailer.

51. Why don't you spend more time on the loser?

52. Ask me a question, dumba—

53. Excuse me?

54. No.

55. Okay, bachelor number two?

56. I like to defend myself.

57. So, if I weren't taking Tae Bo, what kind of martial art would I take?

58. How the hell would I know?

59. Yeah. "Some guy's hand up your beep." That used to be me.

60. I'm gonna have to get back to you, number two.

61. - Bachelor number three? - Yes, still here.

62. - I love— - "I haven't gone anywhere.

63. Still here for you, my love."

64. Aw.

65. If you could write a poem for me, what would it be?

66. Write it now, for me, on the pages of my heart.

67. "Many years ago when the—" No!

68. "Yesterday, the day of—"

69. Just make it—

70. I know, shut up!

71. Why are you always doing this to me?

72. Okay.

73. Good luck.

74. Okay, Wayne,

75. who are they?

76. Bachelor number one is a jilted ex-boyfriend.

77. And where do those people usually show up?

78. At my house?

79. What famous television show would you expect to see—

80. - Oh, on The Jerry Springer Show. - ... Springer Show. Yes!

81. All I watch is PBS, brother. I don't know about that.

82. Yeah, I know.

83. Bachelor number two, Colin,

84. is a ventriloquist with an angry ventriloquist dummy.

85. Yeah, that's close enough.

86. - And bachelor number three is the collected works of— - No.

87. - Alfred— Steven— - No. No.

88. - Is all the characters— - No.

89. - Is a horror— - No.

90. - Bachelor number three... - Yes.

91. is one man...

92. - ... who embodies— - No.

93. How could you not guess that?

94. - Oh, that's right.

95. I thought that was kind of an easy one, I don't know.

96. Thousand points to Ryan. Thousand points to Colin.

97. Greg, you get to go out on a real date with Wayne Brady.

98. You're going to... Guadalajara!

99. Now, let's go on to a game called "Scene to Rap."

100. This is for Greg and Wayne

101. and, of course, the best rappers in the whole wide world, Colin and Ryan.

102. What up?

103. And you can't do without mix master Laura Hall and jazzy Linda Taylor.

104. What I need from the audience is a name of a real disaster movie.

105. Poseidon Adventure.

106. So you're gonna rap about The Poseidon Adventure.

107. And go ahead whenever you're ready.

108. Well, that'll be a thousand points to Ryan

109. for having the great idea of standing on his head

110. so he didn't have to rap anymore.

111. Hey, man, a thousand points to Colin for rhyming the word "goat."

112. Let's go on to a game called "Sound Effects."

113. This is for Colin and Ryan.

114. Colin's gonna improvise a scene.

115. into this previously-washed microphone.

116. And your scene is you're a Jedi knight,

117. and, uh—

118. A Jedi knight gets the call that the Empire is attacking.

119. That's what is says here. So go ahead, whenever you're ready.

120. Oh.

121. Hmm.

122. Ooh.

123. Oh!

124. That was great. Hey, listen.

125. Don't go anywhere.

126. Hey. Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

127. and the points just simply do not matter.

128. The points don't matter at all.

129. And hey, here's our Whose Line fact of the day.

130. During the break, we found out that Haagen-Dazs

131. is Danish for "Fat pig with a spoon."

132. Now let's go on to a game called "Film Dub."

133. Film Dub. This is for Ryan, Greg and Colin.

134. They're gonna watch this little piece of footage here.

135. You're gonna see it at home and you can see it on the monitors here.

136. They have to supply their own soundtrack to the film.

137. So, the scene I'd like you to improvise is called "One Day at the Gas Station."

138. One Day at the Gas Station.

139. You guys from out of town? Those are some weird sweaters you got on.

140. What?

141. You didn't get those at Chess King, did ya?

142. Should I say something?

143. No. Look.

144. If you check that oil, I want 10W-30 in there. You understand me?

145. Well, I did the best I could.

146. All we had was grapefruit juice!

147. Hey, let me go, mister.

148. Watch out! This isn't full service.

149. I didn't get any free giveaways. What's with that?

150. Well, we're out of the Presidential coins!

151. - All I've got is some— I don't care.

152. Well, let me just run into the office and check.

153. I'll ask my manager, maybe he's got something for you.

154. That's it! I thought I had more lines.

155. Hey, hey, where are you going?

156. Oh, my God, I can see all his bones!

157. I'm gonna crawl away as slowly as I can.

158. Does this make me look fat?

159. My butt! My butt!

160. There ya go.

161. Well, that'll save me some money in the drive-through.

162. Thought the special effects in Star Wars were something else?

163. Check those out, man. That was amazing.

164. I'm gonna be havin' nightmares now.

165. Now, let's go on to a game called "Greatest Hits."

166. This is for Colin, Ryan and Wayne,

167. with Laura Hall on piano and Linda Taylor on guitar.

168. Colin and Ryan are gonna be TV voiceover guys

169. talking about the latest compilation album,

170. And what we need from the audience

171. is the suggestion of a major sport.

172. Hockey.

173. Hockey, hockey, hockey.

174. Yay. Whoo.

175. We know all about hockey?

176. Yeah! Okay, sure.

177. It's a major sport. Let's do "Songs of Hockey."

178. Hi! We'll return you to your movie Men in Back in just a moment,

179. but first, have we got a deal for you.

180. Hockey, music, they go together like hockey and music.

181. And on this CD compilation, we have more hits than a porn website.

182. It's true! It is absolutely true!

183. And we start off with the great '50s hockey hit done by Fats Domino,

184. "Body Check of Love."

185. You know what, Colin, I'd love to buy a CD set like this,

186. but I'll bet it's expensive.

187. It isn't.

188. We're selling this incredible 350-CD set

189. for payments of $1 a month for 55 years.

190. Wow.

191. It's free!

192. You know, Colin,

193. I am so happy to see this song on this CD set.

194. Oh, I think I know what—

195. nothing puts her in the mood more

196. than that great Smokey Robinson hit

197. simply entitled "Pfft."

198. "Shhh..."

199. All I know about hockey is it's damn cold.

200. May I just say,

201. - Oh, that's good.

202. - You know...

203. When I was a young black child growing up in Flint Rock,

204. there was nothing better I liked to do Saturday night,

205. watch the hockey game

206. and listen to the funky sounds of Kool & the Gang singing

207. "I Wanna Score on You."

208. That's right. Come on, horns, hit it.

209. Oh, we ain't got no horns? All right.

210. That's cool.

211. Okay, hey!

212. Whose Line Is It Anyway? right after this.

213. Don't go anywhere.

214. Hi. Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

215. Tonight's winner, Wayne Brady.

216. That means he gets to sit at my desk and do what I do.

217. Drink soda and act fat

218. and the rest of us get punished by having to do our favorite game, Hoedown!

219. - Yeah!

220. We get to do a hoedown.

221. Really love those hoedowns, don't we?

222. Now, what we need from the audience

223. is a suggestion of a stressful event in your life.

224. Moving?

225. Moving. Let's do the "Moving" hoedown.

226. "Moving" hoedown with the help of Laura Hall on the piano.

227. - How about it for Laura Hall?

228. Go ahead, Laura, whenever you're ready.

229. Whoo-hoo!

230. Don't go anywhere.

231. Hey, welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

232. We're gonna end the show tonight

233. by having Greg and Colin read the credits for us.

234. I want you to read the credits as frantic traders at the stock exchange

235. as the market fluctuates.

236. I got Dan Patterson.

237. Wait, it's crashed! It's crashed!

238. No, no, no. Don't ring the bell.

239. Delia Frankel. Who's got Delia Frankel?

240. I'll give you Delia Frankel. Who wants Delia?

241. Who wants to embezzle?

242. Drew Carey. Who's got Drew Carey?