1. and welcome to
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
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2. On tonight's show,
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3. You think you're untouchable?
Chip Esten.
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4. Do I amuse you? Colin Mochrie.
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5. And say hello to
my little friend. Ryan Stiles!
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6. Hey, I'm your host, Drew Carey.
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7. Hello.
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8. Hello, and welcome to
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
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9. The show where
everything is made up
and the points don't matter.
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10. That's right, the points
don't mean a thing.
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11. We're gonna start out
with a game called
Weird Newscasters.
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12. This is for all four of you.
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13. - Colin,
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14. is gonna be the anchor
of a news show.
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15. Chip, Wayne and Ryan
are gonna help him out.
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16. Colin, your co-anchor is Chip.
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17. Chip, you're a 1950s
teen rebel biker.
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18. Yeah, like you look.
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19. Wayne, you're doing the sports.
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20. You're a harem girl sent in
to entertain the Sultan.
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21. Yeah!
Ryan, you're doing the weather,
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22. uh, it's your last day,
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23. and you want to go out
in a blaze of glory.
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24. - No. No.
Yeah.
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25. So go ahead and take it away
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26. whenever you hear
the music. Colin.
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27. Welcome to the Six O'Clock
News. I'm Thor, but not
complaining.
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28. And now over to
our new co-anchor,
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29. whose name escapes me
for the moment.
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30. You looking at my hog?
Don't look at my hog.
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31. Or my motorcycle.
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32. You got me? You watch it?
Capice?
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33. Okay, Daddy-O. Take it away.
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34. And now, let's
go over to sports,
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35. with someone else
whose name I forget.
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36. Agh!
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37. I have come to do
the sports dance for you.
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38. Today, football,
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39. tomorrow, soccer,
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40. One day, I shall hunt you down
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41. and kill you like
the dog you are.
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42. I shall never dance for you
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43. and do the dance of
the seven sports teams again.
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44. - You can't make...
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45. Come with me, baby. Let's go.
Let's get out of here.
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46. Here's a tip.
Really look under the veil.
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47. And now,
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48. Let's go over to weather,
with our happy weatherman,
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49. Sunny Skies. Sunny?
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50. Well, as you know,
this is my last forecast.
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51. - Sun in L.A., rain in Seattle.
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52. I want to say
how much I've enjoyed
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53. doing the weather here
all these years.
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54. Hey, uh...
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55. If you just
tuned in, you're watching
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
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56. The show where you can never be
too rich or too gay.
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57. Ha ha ha!
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58. I've never heard of
a married gay guy before.
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59. That'll be a first.
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60. Uh, let's go on to
a game called Sound Effects.
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61. This is Sound Effects.
This is for Colin and Ryan.
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62. Colin, you're going to
improvise a scene.
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63. Uh, you're scene is,
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64. An emergency room surgeon
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65. gets called in
on New Year's Eve.
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66. An emergency room surgeon
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67. gets called in
on New Year's Eve. Yeah.
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68. [Ryan imitating
party conversations]
Five, four, three, two...
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69. Hey, what the hell
are you doing?
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70. Ding ding ding ding!
Ding ding ding ding!
Ding ding ding ding!
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71. Whoa!
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72. Agh!
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73. Ow!
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74. Thank you very much.
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75. It was a...
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76. Not only was it entertaining,
it was informative.
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77. Uh, Ryan, you get
all the points due east.
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78. You get all the points
due west.
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79. Uh, points east,
points west. You know,
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80. I've only got
so many points jokes,
and I'm running out.
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81. Or... I ran out.
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82. Let's go on to a game
called Title Sequence.
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83. This is for
all four performers.
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84. Laura Hall, Linda Taylor,
Cece Worall.
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85. So Wayne and Chip
are gonna sing the title song
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86. of a made-up TV sitcom
about two unlikely roommates.
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87. Ryan and Colin, you're gonna
act out the opening sequence.
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88. And what we need
from the audience is
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89. two unlikely professions.
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90. - [audience
shouting out suggestions]
Nope. Nope.
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91. Sumo wrestler.
A sumo wrestler.
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92. Model.
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93. The sumo wrestler
and the model.
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94. Gonna be a tough one.
So, let's do the sitcom
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95. about the sumo wrestler
and the model.
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96. Take it away.
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97. Coming to ABC next fall.
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98. The Sumo Wrestler
and the Model.
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99. ♪ Oh, one of them is from Tokyo
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100. ♪ One of them lives in
Gay Paree
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101. ♪ Oh oh oh
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102. ♪ She is skinnier
Than a kite string
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103. ♪ Watch out
when he falls on her
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104. ♪ When the sumo wrestler
has a nasty trip
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105. After a few commercials,
we'll be right back
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106. with more
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
don't go anywhere.
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107. Welcome back to
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
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108. I'm Drew Carey,
and just like the muppets,
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109. I've got someone's hand
up my butt.
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110. Let's move on
with a game called
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111. Scene with an Audience Member.
This is for Ryan and Colin.
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112. You're gonna act out a scene
with a lucky member
of the studio audience.
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113. Walking up the steps,
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114. coming round up here.
Hello, how are you?
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115. - What's your name, please?
- Emily.
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116. Emily. How are you?
What do you do for a living?
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117. I work at a store.
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118. Work at a store, good for you.
I work with a microphone.
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119. - Come on down here.
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120. Emily say hello
to Ryan and Colin,
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121. The scene is, you're gonna
help these guys do a scene.
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122. Batman, who is Ryan,
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123. from the clutches
of the Riddler, who is Colin.
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124. Take it away,
whenever you're ready.
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125. I'll let you go if you hug me.
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126. You call that a hug?
You stay here, then.
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127. Ahaha!
Ahahaha!
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128. Hey, why did the chicken
cross the road?
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129. Don't try anything, Batgirl,
just like you've been doing.
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130. I don't think so.
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131. I made you look.
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132. Ahahahahaha!
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133. Oh, you think
we haven't prepared
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134. for something like this,
Batgirl and I?
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135. What do you mean?
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136. - Now!
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137. Oh! Agh!
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138. Ha!
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139. What was that bat powder
she put on my face.
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140. You didn't know she had
bat powder hidden
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141. in the waistband of
her catsuit, did you?
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142. No, I didn't.
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143. She's going with me.
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144. You think so?
Try opening the door.
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145. - Ahahahaha!
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146. It's locked. You try it.
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147. It's still locked for her.
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148. - Yes.
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149. Or maybe we'll just
fly out of here.
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150. Agh!
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151. No! Hey!
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152. They're man-eating.
"Man-eating."
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153. Just you.
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154. Get them off me.
Catwoman, help.
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155. - No no!
- Get them off me!
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156. You help him,
I'll never capture you again...
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157. - That's a good idea,
bird-bombing.
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158. Oh, you've ripped
their wings off.
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159. Oh, you're
a tricky one, Batgirl,
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160. you move faster than any...
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161. He's losing
his ability to speak.
Now's our time to act.
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162. Oh, it's about time!
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163. Thank you.
Thank you, Emily.
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164. Emily, thank you very much.
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165. I'm giving you three points
apiece for that.
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166. that rhymes with P
that says for points.
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167. We have trouble, my friend,
right here.
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168. Little something I worked out
in the dressing room before the
show, couldn't wait to do it.
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169. Now, let's play a game
called Greatest Hits.
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170. This is for all four of you
with the help of
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171. Laura Hall, Linda Taylor,
and Cece Worall.
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172. - I guess that's everybody.
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173. Now, Colin and Ryan are gonna
be two TV commercial guys
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174. talking about
the latest compilation album
they're trying to sell.
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175. And what they're gonna do,
it they're gonna make up
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176. names of songs
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177. and see if they can
trip up Wayne and Chip.
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178. They're gonna try to sing them.
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179. And what I need
from the audience is, uh,
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180. A suggestion of a job where
you would wear a uniform.
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181. Warrior princess.
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182. Okay, name of the album is
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183. Songs of the Warrior Princess.
Take it away.
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184. Hi. We'll be back to
The Drew Carey Show
in just a minute
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185. You know, I think
that tall guy should get
more lines on that show.
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186. I love when you
joke around like that.
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187. As long as there's been
warrior princesses,
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188. there's been music about them.
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189. You know, you were a child
of the '70s of course.
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190. I was a child of the '50s.
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191. And you know, growing up
as a young woma... man,
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192. in the '50s,
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193. one of my favorite artists
was Jerry Lu... Lee... Lewis...
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194. - Oh.
- Who also was great
in The Nutty Professor.
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195. - Oh.
- And I love his...
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196. And I watch his
telethon every year.
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197. Yes, he's great.
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198. Oh yeah, baby!
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199. Whoo!
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200. Every time I hear that song,
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201. it makes me feel like
dating my cousin.
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202. - You know, Colin,
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203. there's a lot of music here
for the older people.
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204. - Oh.
- But there's also music
for the young kids of today.
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205. - Get out.
- Yes.
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206. - No, I did not know that.
- Oh, yes.
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207. - And of course, they're now...
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208. Of course... Am I saying
something wrong here?
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209. - I have no idea.
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210. It's just one guy.
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211. Of course it is.
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212. You know, one of my
favorite bands is Kid Rock.
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213. It's just one man,
but he's large.
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214. And I think my favorite song
that Kid Rock does is
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215. club, spears and shields.
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216. Come on, everybody
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217. Kid!
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218. Kid Rock!
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219. Yeah!
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220. Yeah!
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221. Yeah!
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222. Raah!
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223. - Hey!
- What?
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224. I heard that too.
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225. - You know, Colin...
- What, Ryan?
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226. I don't get into the new
weird kind of music too much.
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227. I knew when you were
describing Kid Rock.
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228. But you know,
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229. my third wife just loves
this techno stuff.
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230. - Really.
- Oh, yes.
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231. Goes gaga over it.
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232. - Gaga.
- Yes.
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233. Huge Women, Puny Men.
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234. When you are a huge woman,
always remember,
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235. be careful in the jungle.
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236. A tiny man, might just
jump up behind you.
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237. The bigger they are,
the harder they fall.
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238. Hey, don't go away. We're gonna
find out who the winner is,
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239. right back after this.
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240. Welcome back to
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
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241. Tonight's winner is
Ryan, Colin and Wayne.
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242. Ryan, Colin and Wayne
are the winners.
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243. Wayne and I are gonna start.
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244. We can only ask
each other questions.
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245. If one of us goes wrong,
Chip's gonna buzz us,
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246. and the other one
will take a place.
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247. And we'll see who
can stand here the longest.
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248. Doing questions only.
What's our scene?
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249. Okay, you are on the Titanic.
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250. What boat are we on?
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251. Didn't you read the sign?
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252. That one over there?
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253. What is that in the distance?
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254. I don't know, what?
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255. Could you save me if we crash?
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256. You got any money on you?
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257. Can't you just be kind?
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258. What was that?
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259. Haven't you ever heard
a before?
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260. Are you the king of the world?
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261. Will you be my queen?
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262. Can you save me?
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263. Can you swim?
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264. Can... help me?
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265. Don't you know English
is not my first language?
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266. Oohoo!
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267. Should we follow the rats?
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268. Why not?
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269. Can't you see the water's
up around your waist?
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270. Can't you see I'm enjoying it?
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271. Won't you swim with me?
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272. Are you the Captain?
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273. Do I look like the Captain?
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274. Is that scotch on your breath?
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275. Would you be disappointed in me
if I said yes?
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276. Can't you tell
that I'm love with you?
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277. Isn't it obvious
that I feel the same way?
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278. Did you know
Kid Rock's one guy?
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279. with more
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Don't go away.
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280. Welcome back to
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
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281. We're gonna
end the show tonight with
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282. Ryan and Wayne
reading the credits for you.
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283. And I want you to
read the credits as
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284. two guys arguing over
who Kid Rock is.
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285. Good night, everybody.
Thanks for watching.
See you later.
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286. Man, look. Kid Rock is one man!
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287. No, Kid Rock is a group
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288. like Mark Leveson
and Arthur Forrest
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289. - and Tom Park.
- No, no, no, no.
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290. - Ruth Phillips is one...
- La! La! La! La! La! La! La!
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291. Don't even
go there, girlfriend.
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292. No, no, Steven Blum
knows who Kid Rock is.
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293. - Joe. C, listen to me.
- It's a group of people.
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294. Hi, I'm The Eagles.
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295. Hey, how are you?
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296. I've met you before.
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297. I'm the Mormon
Tabernacle Choir.
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298. How are you?
See what I mean?
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299. Oh, come on!
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