Whose Line Is It Anyway? 5x5

Directed by

Wil Wheaton as Self • Gary Anthony Williams as Self

Guests: guest comic Gary Anthony Williams, plus actor Wil Wheaton.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Good evening everybody and Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?

2. On tonights show, the ultimate driving machine Greg Proops

3. You too can have a body like Wayne Brady.

4. Promise her anything but give her Colin Mochrie.

5. And, doesn't your dog deserve Ryan Stiles?

6. And I'm your host, Drew Carey.

7. Come on down, let's have some fun.

8. Thank you.

9. Thank you very much, everybody. Hello.

10. Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

11. The show where everything's made up

12. and the points don't matter.

13. That's right, the points are as useless as

14. the guy giving away the points on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

15. The show where everything's made up

16. and the points don't matter.

17. Uh, let's start the show with a game called Superheroes.

18. This is for all four of you.

19. Come on down.

20. All right! All right!

21. Lots of show to get to.

22. Uh, they're gonna act out a scene as

23. uh, unlikely superheroes.

24. They're gonna name each other as they come in.

25. Nobody knows what their names are going to be.

26. Greg's gonna start.

27. We need a name of an unlikely superhero for Greg.

28. Delayed Reaction Man, that's a good one.

29. I like when the audience comes ready to go

30. - with suggestions and stuff. - What?

31. Delayed Reaction Man.

32. See, he just did it.

33. Oh.

34. Oh, there's a crisis in the world.

35. There's a crisis in the world for Delayed Reaction Man.

36. What's the crisis?

37. - The world's run out of cheese. - Shortage of Post-it Notes.

38. No Post-it Notes, oh yeah.

39. Delayed Reaction Man,

40. there's a shortage of Post-it Notes in the world.

41. What are we gonna do?

42. Oh, right, right right.

43. We're here in my lair of delayed reaction.

44. Ring-ring-ring.

45. I've got to get that phone.

46. - Ring-ring-ring.

47. Hello. Great leaping ocelot.

48. We're out of Post-it Notes.

49. That's gonna make little yellow pieces of paper, unemployed.

50. I hope my super friends arrive soon.

51. Ding-dong.

52. Hello.

53. - Oh, thank you. - I've been ringin'

54. - out there for two hours. - I'm sorry.

55. Thank goodness, you're here.

56. Becomes Hysterical Too Easily Girl

57. Why wouldn't you answer the door?

58. Is it because you don't wanna see me?

59. And, what is with that hair?

60. Hi, how are you?

61. Oh, how am I? How am I? Hello, how am I?

62. We are out of Po... Hello!

63. I hurried over as quickly as I could.

64. Oh, the Happy Flasher.

65. - Oh!

66. Oh!

67. Wow!

68. No wonder you're happy.

69. - Wouldn't you be? - Sorry, I'm late.

70. - Oh, thank goodness you're here.

71. Thank goodness you're here,

72. Constantly Run Over by a Car Man

73. Yeah, I had to... pfft.

74. Ohhh!

75. - Ohhh! - Watch out!

76. Huh?

77. Ohhh!

78. No I meant, before.

79. No, I'm okay. I'm okay.

80. Quick, I'll just run over to a 7-eleven and I'll... pff

81. Ohhh!

82. - I gotta go. - Oh.

83. Watch out for...

84. Ohhh.

85. Well, I've gotta go.

86. Hi, how're you doing?

87. - Good to see you. - Ohhh!

88. Well, I'll see you next time.

89. A thousand points apiece. Have a drink of water on me, it's okay.

90. Especially you, Colin. Man, you exerted some...

91. - Whoo! - Yeah.

92. Colin at his weekend job.

93. Hey! Hey!

94. Okay, next game. It's called Song Styles.

95. It's for Wayne with the help of Laura Hall,

96. Linda Taylor and Anne King.

97. I need someone from the audience.

98. - What's your name? - Ivy.

99. Ivy? Your name is Ivy?

100. Uh, nice to meet you, Ivy. What do you do for a living?

101. I'm a professional Bingo caller.

102. So am I, when you think about it.

103. Come on down here, Ivy.

104. Say hi, everybody.

105. - Hey, how're you doing? - Nice to meet you.

106. This is Ivy. She's a professional Bingo caller.

107. Yes, yes.

108. And uh, you're gonna sing a song about her

109. using her name and occupation.

110. like Michael Jackson in Thriller.

111. Oh!

112. And not only are you gonna sing a song to her but

113. you three guys are gonna be

114. the zombies in the dance video in the back.

115. - Thank you, Ivy. - Sure.

116. Give a round for Ivy, everybody.

117. Let's move on now. Good job Wayne.

118. How about a thousand points for Wayne Brady?

119. Well, thank you, sir.

120. Let's go on to a game called

121. Multiple Personalities.

122. This is for Greg, Ryan and Colin.

123. We're gonna act out a scene that involves three items.

124. Come on here and grab an item. Uh, just pass them around.

125. Uh, now, what happens is, uh,

126. each item has a personality attached to it

127. and whoever holds the prop has to display that personality.

128. Uh, your scene is "Washed up on a desert island."

129. Who's ever holding the binoculars is Jimmy Stewart.

130. Who's ever holding the knife is Braveheart.

131. And, man, are we lucky here now talk about serendipity.

132. Who's ever holding the canteen is Carol Channing.

133. Take it away.

134. We've got to find a way off this bloody island!

135. Wha wha wha... It's not... Don't... Relax.

136. Are you makin' fun there?

137. I'm sure help will come soon.

138. Let's just all relax and try to build a hut.

139. All right!

140. You start the cuttin' there, lass.

141. I... I... I will.

142. You can take...

143. my water, but you can't take my dignity.

144. There you go.

145. Well, thanks for those.

146. Oh, look, look, look ov... Look over there.

147. Giant rabbit.

148. There's my friend, Harvey. Hell save him.

149. That's the rabbit of Richard's men.

150. I like rabbit.

151. You... you... you... you think they'll

152. be confused when they'll see two moons?

153. Yes.

154. Here. Hold this for me.

155. Oh, come on. We've gotta get together here.

156. Well, all right.

157. Let's just sing a song together and get along.

158. That'll pass the time.

159. Hold on... No no no no no...

160. Oh... wo wo wo wo

161. Why don't we build some sort of fire?

162. Oh.

163. I think that's an illogical thing to do to me.

164. What a charming man!

165. Who brought Liberace?

166. Well, no, no, no, no, no.

167. I'll tell you what, laddie.

168. You get down now and chew a tunnel

169. to that big body of land over there.

170. Well, no, no, no. Why don't you and I

171. go grab some beans and try to build a hut right over here.

172. Hold on to that, would you?

173. Wha wha wha

174. Oh, ah, wha, wha

175. We'll be right back with more Whose Line Is It Anyway?

176. Right after this. Don't go away.

177. The show where everything's made up

178. and the points don't matter.

179. Hey, just to let you know, you know,

180. for the next 15 minutes, we'll keep the kids occupied

181. if you and the old lady want to go fool around.

182. Cool. Oh.

183. This is a great game for Ryan, Colin and Greg

184. with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.

185. Now, uh...

186. Somebody over here, give me a name.

187. Katrina.

188. Katrina.

189. Katrina?

190. Katrina's the first one I heard

191. Somebody back here, give me a hobby.

192. - Miniature golf.

193. Miniature golf. Miniature golf.

194. Uh, you guys, it's... The game is called Funeral.

195. And, uh...

196. Greg is leading a funeral service and

197. Ryan and Colin are the chief mourners.

198. The funeral's for Katrina

199. who died in a freak miniature golf accident.

200. So, Ryan and Colin will give a memory of the deceased

201. and with Greg, you're gonna sing a tribute song about Katrina

202. all in one voice.

203. Whenever you're ready, take it away.

204. Well, we all know why we're here today.

205. To honor the dear departed Katrina.

206. We know how she met her end, and...

207. Ohh.

208. She tried to stuff the ball

209. in the dragon without using the club

210. to get the free game.

211. Her hand got stuck in the windmill.

212. I'm sorry. Maybe we should have some remembrances.

213. Barney, you were Katrina's coach.

214. And her caddie.

215. I remember the first day

216. she picked up a putter and hit the ball and

217. it went into the clown's mouth and out its ear.

218. We laughed and laughed

219. You know what?

220. - Now she's dead. - Yes.

221. - Quentin. - Yes.

222. You were the caretaker at the miniature golf course.

223. She was very close to me.

224. Would you like to share any remembrances of Katrina?

225. I've known Katrina for 20 years.

226. She was into miniature golf, miniature bowling,

227. miniature basketball.

228. She loved everything miniature.

229. Which explains why we dated for four years.

230. I think if

231. Katrina were alive,

232. she'd be hitting a little orange ball toward a gopher.

233. - Who told you about that? - Well,

234. I'm sorry.

235. But, I think she'd like it if we

236. sang a song in tribute to her.

237. Would you mind joining me, Gentlemen?

238. That Katrina song really sets my toes a tappin'.

239. - Nice and loud. Yeah.

240. Now for a game called Scenes from a Hat.

241. This is for all four of you.

242. Greg and Wayne, Ryan and Colin.

243. Now, what happens before the show is

244. we ask the audience to write down

245. funny scenes you'd like to see.

246. We take the good ones,

247. uh, put them in a hat.

248. We'll see how many our performers connect up for us

249. We'll start with...

250. "Unlikely subjects to be the basis for a musical."

251. What's the matter with roadkill?

252. What's the matter with roadkill?

253. How does food become poo?

254. I'll tell you.

255. Why do dogs lick themselves?

256. Duh!

257. - How does food become poo? Aw, man.

258. "Things you shouldn't do last minute."

259. Things you shouldn't do at the last minute.

260. And have a good first day at school.

261. - Daddy's gay. - Thank you...

262. Okay.

263. That was an interesting one.

264. "Unlikely first lines of medical ads."

265. Ever wonder how food becomes poo?

266. Been decapitated recently?

267. All right.

268. "What's really going through George W. Bush's mind

269. during Cabinet meetings."

270. Mm. What does the W stand for?

271. Whatever.

272. There isn't even a cabinet in here.

273. That's where poo comes from.

274. Hey, we all know life, that

275. one man's heaven is another man's hell.

276. And to prove that, we're gonna do a game for you called

277. the Irish Drinking Song

278. with Laura Hall

279. and, uh, everybody else.

280. What I need is, uh,

281. from the center section of the audience,

282. give me a bad thing that happened to you on a date.

283. Got pregnant.

284. What? - Got pregnant.

285. On a date?

286. Worst thing to happen to her on a date.

287. Oh yeah. Wow.

288. I remember you.

289. So, let's do the "Got pregnant on a date"

290. Irish drinking song.

291. - Take it away, Laura Hall. - Okay.

292. We'll be right back with more Whose Line Is It Anyway?

293. Right after this. Don't go away.

294. Greg Proops is the winner.

295. And we're gonna do a game for you called Props.

296. Give us the props.

297. - This is for you guys. - Oh really? Oh, man!

298. Yeah. It is.

299. And this is for Wayne and Colin.

300. Okay, what we have to do is, We have to go back and forth

301. and think of it as...

302. Think of as many things you can

303. do with these props as we can.

304. Starting with uh, me and Ryan.

305. Yes, uh, right this way, Mr. Jagger.

306. I guess Yogi didn't hear you say "timber."

307. Here comes the airplane into the hanger.

308. Open wide, open wide.

309. Oh, that's good, that's good.

310. Hey Rocky, why'd you put a rabbit on my head?

311. La la la la la la la.

312. La la la la la la la.

313. La la la la...

314. Man, it's been a while since I cleaned out my belly button.

315. Town ain't big enough for both of us, Bart.

316. I'm not sure, I think it's the men's room.

317. - It's duck season. - It's rabbit season.

318. - It's duck season. - It's rabbit season.

319. That was one sick dog.

320. We'll be right back on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

321. Don't go away.

322. Ryan and Colin reading the credits for you.

323. I'd like you two to read the credits for us

324. as two teenage brothers

325. who talk about how they can't get lucky with the ladies.

326. Thank you very much. See you next time. Good night.

327. Oh, Dan.

328. You know,

329. it's funny 'cause Dan Patterson told me

330. we couldn't get lucky with ladies, but

331. I haven't got a problem with ladies, have you?

332. I haven't at all. I... I...

333. He can't keep the ladies off us.

334. - No, Linda Taylor, Ray Miller. - Kieran Healy's all over us.

335. - Steven Blum's all over us... - Thank you.

336. - ... and she's not even a lady. - Harve Levine, he's a lady.

337. - I had him. - Laugh if you want.

338. - We don't care. - Alison Sideris.

339. Kristan Andrews knows it.

340. So does Julie Rhine, she's all over it.

341. Ha, ha, ha.

342. You know my uglier brother?

343. Complete Post is... Complete Post, yeah.