Whose Line Is It Anyway? 5x3

Directed by

Candice Patton as Self • Jeff Bryan Davis as Self

Guests: comedian Jeff Davis, plus actress Candice Patton. Games performed: Let's make a Date, World's Worst, Living Scenery, Props, Scenes from a Hat, Hoedown

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Whose Line Is It Anyway?

2. On tonight's show

3. "I went to the blue hole" Brad Sherwood.

4. "Have a nice day" Wayne Brady.

5. "My parents went to Hawaii and all I got was" Colin Mochrie."

6. And "I'm with stupid" Ryan Stiles.

7. Hi. My name's Drew Carey. I'm your host.

8. Come on down, let's have some fun.

9. Hey!

10. Thanks, everybody. Welcome to

11. Whose Line Is It Anyway?

12. The show where everything's made-up

13. and the points don't matter.

14. That's right, the points are like

15. Barry White CDs when you're all alone.

16. Let's get to it

17. with a game called, "Award Show."

18. This is for all four of you. Brad and Wayne

19. are two presenters on an award show.

20. However...

21. this is not one of the thousand million

22. entertainment award shows that we can do without.

23. It's an award show for frat boys.

24. Colin and Ryan are in the audience.

25. You're nominees in the audience.

26. That's right. Go up there.

27. So here we go over to Brad and Wayne

28. at the Frat Boy Award Show.

29. - Whoo! Whoo!

30. Whassup! Whassup!

31. Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!

32. All right. Welcome to the first annual Frat Boy Awards.

33. You know, the funny thing about being a frat boo... Boy.

34. I'm so lit!

35. Okay. Uh, we're here to present

36. the award for most embarrassing moment at a kegger.

37. All right.

38. Our first nominees,

39. Tad and York from Wilshire State College

40. for pukin' on themselves.

41. Our second nominees

42. are Bill and Bud for falling through the ceiling

43. in the girls' locker room.

44. Our third nominees,

45. Jimmy and Al Fresco

46. from San Diego State Community College of Technical Institute

47. for showing up to class every day butt naked, bro.

48. All right. Oh!

49. It's the Al Fresco brothers, butt naked to school.

50. Dude!

51. - Whoa! - Dude!

52. - Dude! - Awesome!

53. Wow! Wow!

54. - I'd like to thank, uh... - Whoo!

55. - You. - Yeah!

56. That's about it.

57. Yeah.

58. I'd like to, uh, thank whoever it is

59. I'm sleeping with right now.

60. Quite seriously though...

61. now that we've won this award,

62. we're really gonna buckle down and study...

63. - Yeah, we are. - ... hard.

64. We sure are.

65. 'Cause I really want to be a gynecologist.

66. Me, too.

67. Look up a few old friends, huh?

68. - No, but seriously we're gonna - This is wiggly, man.

69. Hey, man, this would be good to put our chips in.

70. That would be good, wouldn't it?

71. What better way to end the show than with some moonin', dudes?

72. What do you think, man? Who wants to moon?

73. Right on. You first, bro.

74. Are you serious? Are you serious?

75. Yes. Nah, I read your lips. Are you serious?

76. Wayne just said to Brad,

77. "I would have done it with you, but I have a G-string on."

78. - Is that what you said? - Yes, I...

79. Hey, it gives me support. What's up?

80. It's not like it's a leopard G-string... Is it?

81. I thought you were joking around.

82. No, I mean it's a G-string.

83. Right.

84. When I'm hanging with my homies.

85. Wait...

86. Holy crap. He is wearing a G-string.

87. You like that? Huh?

88. Aw, man. Aw, man.

89. Oh, yeah, we got a show to do. Sorry.

90. Stunned for a second.

91. Now, let's play a game...

92. Let's play a game called, "Party Quirks."

93. So busted. Brad, you are so busted.

94. Brad, you're gonna be hosting a party.

95. Come on down here.

96. Wayne, Colin, and Ryan are gonna be guests.

97. We put on these cards things they've never seen before.

98. This is things they have to act out at the party.

99. Brad has to guess who they are.

100. And I'll bring you in one at a time with the doorbell.

101. So sorry, man.

102. Whenever you're ready, Brad, start the party.

103. Well, I got my Mr. Microphone- phone-phone-phone.

104. Hey, I'm on the radio!

105. This is gonna be the best party, party, party.

106. - Ha, ha!

107. Oh! Hello.

108. Y'all can just shut up! Y'all just shut up!

109. I don't wanna hear none of y'all.

110. I don't wanna hear you! You just be quiet!

111. Nah, I just wanna say one thing.

112. This is a good party and all,

113. but last night me and Maurice, we were watchin',

114. you know, an episode of our favorite show,

115. you know, The Drew Carey Show,

116. when all of a sudden Maurice put his hand around me.

117. And I was like, "Maurice, you married to Laquanna."

118. And he was like, "I don't care nothin' about Laquanna."

119. And the next thing I know she gonna get mad at me.

120. Well, uh-uh-huh.

121. 'Cause I will take off all of this and beat her.

122. Hold on.

123. Guess what? Whitney Houston's at my party.

124. Arf! Arf! Arf!

125. Whitney Houston, I'd like you to meet ...

126. What? Oh, you people are so...

127. - Arf! Arf!

128. Nah, baby. But when she come out

129. she gonna be so mad at you. Oh, yeah, baby. You know...

130. That's what you got. Oh!

131. Hi.

132. Hey, Brad, how are ya?

133. - Okay. - Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh!

134. There's a lot of politically correct people at my party.

135. Sorry, Gary!

136. Come on in.

137. Oh, I'm sorry!

138. Oh, no you didn't? I am so sorry!

139. You did not just shoot me in my leg!

140. That was a mistake.

141. I am so sorry.

142. You did not just shoot...

143. That is, that is my fault.

144. This is the best party I've ever had!

145. Arf! Arf! Arf!

146. This is great.

147. You're a terrible hunter. Huh?

148. You're a terrible, horrible, clumsy hunter

149. who keeps shooting everything accidentally.

150. - Yes.

151. I came to the party tonight

152. to just tell you that I can't come to your party anymore.

153. Because, um...

154. Because you have to spend more time

155. on the Jerry Springer Show?

156. Arf! Arf! Arf!

157. Well, you're a baby seal?

158. - Yeah, he's a seal. - Sea lion.

159. That was the South American version of the Jerry Springer Show.

160. Yeah.

161. I kept on waitin' for the South American version to just pop on in there.

162. - Was that what it said? - Yeah.

163. - No, it didn't. - On your...

164. - On mine it did. - No.

165. No, well, now that the game is over.

166. Mine said, "I've got a secret episode of the..."

167. Oh, crap.

168. Whatever.

169. Someone's thong is too tight.

170. Thank you very much. We'll be right back with more

171. Whose Line right after this. Don't go away.

172. Welcome back. Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

173. Not only the funniest show on television,

174. but a good thing to watch when you get stuck cuddlin'.

175. You know, sometimes you just get stuck cuddlin'

176. you gotta watch something.

177. Drew?

178. We're gonna keep the show going with a game called,

179. "Scenes From a Hat."

180. What happens is before the show

181. we ask the audience to write down suggestions

182. for scenes they'd like to see. We take the good ones

183. and put 'em in a hat and I draw them at random

184. and see how many our performers can do.

185. Starting with...

186. "What life would have been like if your parents...

187. What life would have been like if your parents

188. were insult comics."

189. You gaining weight or is your ass eatin' your pants?

190. All right.

191. "What's on TV in Hell."

192. Click.

193. UPN's Thursday line up.

194. I like UPN. What's so bad about UPN?

195. Tonight, an all special naked Golden Girls.

196. Butt cracks of the rich and famous.

197. All right.

198. "Things found written in hillbilly fortune cookies."

199. Hell, I can't read.

200. You just ate what coulda been your lover.

201. Hope you enjoyed the chop suuuu-ey!

202. Howdy.

203. Okay.

204. "Hit number..." Oh, boy.

205. "Hit numbers from a musical about breasts."

206. The newest number in stomp...

207. Boing...

208. All right.

209. Okay, 1,000 points for everybody.

210. Let's go on to a really good game called, "Bartender."

211. This is for all four of you.

212. In this game, Brad is a bartender.

213. Laura Hall and Linda Taylor are gonna help out.

214. And, Brad,

215. we're gonna have people come up

216. and sing their problems to you.

217. Wayne, you're the first one.

218. Wayne is excited about something.

219. What's Wayne excited about?

220. He said "Wayne's excited about Brad."

221. Wayne is excited about Brad.

222. Wayne, take it away whenever you want.

223. Hey, Brad.

224. Hey, Wayne. How you doin', buddy?

225. - I'm okay. - Ho-ho-ho!

226. Guess what? I just met someone.

227. - You did? - Yeah.

228. - Someone special in your life? - So special.

229. Tell me about them.

230. Phew!

231. Now, Colin. Colin, will you come up?

232. You're angry with something. What's Colin angry with?

233. Speeding ticket. Thank you.

234. You're angry that you got a speeding ticket.

235. Take it away, Colin.

236. What do you have to do for service around here!

237. You have to talk to me a little more politely.

238. Why the long face?

239. Ticket. Ticket.

240. Okay. Now, Ryan, is gonna come down here.

241. Somebody from this end of the audience over here

242. tell me what Ryan is in love with.

243. He's in love with something.

244. Ugly shoes.

245. Ryan's in love with ugly shoes.

246. Take it away.

247. Ugh! Glad to see this is still a gay bar.

248. You should've met my boyfriend Wayne.

249. He was in here a little while ago.

250. What I think?

251. Okay.

252. An extra 500 points to Ryan.

253. - I love your shoes, Ryan. - Thanks, man.

254. And an extra 1,000 points to Wayne and Brad.

255. We should fall in love more often.

256. Cut, cut it out.

257. We'll be right back and find out

258. who the winner is right after this.

259. Don't go away.

260. Hey! Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

261. Tonight's winner, Colin Mochrie.

262. Colin Mochrie is the winner tonight.

263. The rest of us are gonna do a game for you called, "Props."

264. Colin, why don't you give the props for me and Ryan.

265. All right. You get the little one.

266. All right.

267. And, Brad and Wayne.

268. We have to go back and forth

269. and think up as many things we can

270. to do with props starting with me and Ryan.

271. Well, sir, your camel has anorexia.

272. Yes, as I was saying to my mother the Queen...

273. - Wah! Wah! - Shh!

274. Wah!

275. I bought Madonna's bra on eBay.

276. Uh, do you have a table for Gumby?

277. Ricola!

278. I like playing with you.

279. Oh, Jebediah, push me to the moon.

280. I'd like to report a missing wing.

281. Oh!

282. Come on, baby. Push! Push!

283. Come on, baby. Push!

284. Now our igloo have cable.

285. Land the plane! There's a monkey on the wing!

286. Land the plane!

287. All right. We'll be right back with more

288. Whose Line right after this. Don't go away.

289. Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

290. Tonight we're gonna end the show with Brad ending the credits.

291. Brad, I want you to read the credits

292. as a Russian gymnastics coach

293. upset with his team of underachievers.

294. Thanks for watching, everybody. Good night.

295. More height! Come on, Dan Patterson.

296. You've been working since you were

297. two years old for this one day.

298. You! Extension! Extension! Come on!

299. You'll never amount to anything!

300. You call yourself a 12-year-old girl?

301. You should be stronger.

302. Helga! Helga, you're too tall for parallel bars.

303. Get out! Get out!