Whose Line Is It Anyway? 5x13

Directed by

Danielle Panabaker as Self • Gary Anthony Williams as Self

Guest Danielle Panabaker; guest comic Gary Anthony Williams.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. On tonight's show...

2. "If it's too loud, you're too old" Wayne Brady.

3. "If you're rich, I'm single" Kathy Greenwood.

4. "I'm with stupid" Colin Mochrie.

5. And "If these shoes are walking, don't come a-knocking" Ryan Stiles.

6. And I'm your host, Drew Carey. Come on down, let's have some fun.

7. Thank you.

8. Thanks for coming to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

9. And thanks for watching the show

10. where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

11. That's right.

12. The points are so worthless, they might as well end in ".com."

13. We have a lot of show for you tonight.

14. Let's get started with a game called Questions Only.

15. This is a game for all four of you.

16. Kathy and Wayne you're gonna start out a scene,

17. but they can only speak in questions.

18. It's all they're allowed to do.

19. The scene is the police have been called in

20. to investigate a robbery on a nudist beach.

21. Robbery on a nudist beach. Only allowed to use questions. Take it away.

22. Where is it?

23. Who got it?

24. Excuse me, did you call the police?

25. Can you help me find it?

26. Do I have to cuff you?

27. Do you think I did it? You think I stole it myself?

28. Do you think I'm paranoid or something?

29. Where would I put it?

30. Are you gonna help me or not?

31. What happened?

32. What time of the day was it?

33. You don't even wear a watch?

34. Why wear a watch when you have a sundial?

35. What is it? About high noon, would you say?

36. Why you staring at me like that?

37. - I don't...

38. Mind if I say this looks like a misdemeanor?

39. Who asked your opinion?

40. Would you get up against that wall, please?

41. Why are you harassing me?

42. Would you get up against that wall, please?

43. Why you gotta keep me down?

44. How's that feel?

45. Stop!

46. What's up?

47. Isn't that obvious?

48. Where'd you get something like that?

49. Do you know how much this cost me?

50. What do you want for it?

51. Don't you know I'm undercover?

52. Are you Agent Philips?

53. Do you know I can't show you my badge right now?

54. Do I still look like a police officer?

55. How should I answer that?

56. What's wrong?

57. Don't you think you should lose...

58. Ready to limbo, Officer?

59. How do I bend over so low?

60. Do you think this will help you solve the case?

61. How low can you go?

62. I don't know—

63. Does this look like yours?

64. Where'd you find it?

65. Any of these look familiar?

66. So funny, I'm giving you 1,500 points apiece.

67. Let's go on to a game called Living Scenery. This is for all four of you.

68. Ryan and Colin are gonna act out a scene for us

69. and during the scene they're gonna have to use a number of props.

70. The problem is we don't have any props for them to use.

71. Wayne and Kathy are gonna be the props for them.

72. Ryan and Colin, the scene is

73. you're two guys who are enjoying

74. different activities at a ski resort

75. before going back to your chalet to relax.

76. - Chalet. - Mmm-hmm.

77. You wanna go skiing one more time?

78. - It's kind of cold. - Here comes the chair lift.

79. You get on by yourself, I'll meet you up there.

80. I'll wait for the next one.

81. - Right behind you, buddy. - Okay.

82. Mine dragged me the whole way here.

83. Oh, left my skis at the bottom.

84. Well, here's some extra ones.

85. It's actually a surfboard that someone left.

86. Oh, I'll just use this toboggan.

87. Okay, let me just go right here.

88. - Ready? - Yeah.

89. Oh! Whoa!

90. Oh, look, it's the animatronic bear.

91. - Those are so great. - Aren't they wonderful?

92. Oh, hey, do you want some cider?

93. Yeah, bring it over to me, will you? I'm going to be in the hot tub.

94. All right.

95. Oh, yeah!

96. - Thank you. Wow.

97. I'm gonna go in the hot tub, too.

98. Not in my hot tub, you're not.

99. Get your own hot tub.

100. Oh, yeah, well, I'm just gonna—

101. Ah!

102. Wow, mine's kind of cold. I better turn up the temperature.

103. Mine's making a funny squeaking sound.

104. Dry off.

105. I'm gonna hang my towel up. I'm sorry.

106. - Hey. - Missed a spot.

107. That's better.

108. Now...

109. Hey, why don't we head back to the lodge? Start a fire?

110. Oh, that sounds like a good idea.

111. - Should we collect some wood on the way? - Yeah, I'll chop down this...

112. - Well, can you open the door? - Oh, sorry.

113. - There we go. - Yeah.

114. Man, we haven't got any matches.

115. Well, it just apparently combusted.

116. - Better stoke the flame. - All right.

117. - Got it? - Yeah.

118. Hey, Wayne...

119. I need to be dried off, too, man.

120. - Really? - Dry me off later?

121. - Yeah, I'll dry you off. - Why don't you dry me off?

122. Ew!

123. Wayne's really ticklish.

124. Yes, I am ticklish.

125. Good to know.

126. That drying him off thing was like... Just...

127. I'm gonna have trouble sleeping tonight.

128. - Me too. - Yeah.

129. Let's go on to a game called Film Dub. This is a really good game.

130. You can play it any time on your own at home.

131. Just turn the TV down. Don't do it now.

132. What's gonna happen is we're gonna show a film clip to Ryan, Colin and Kathy.

133. We've turned down the sound on this,

134. so they have to supply the words to the film clip.

135. The scene I'd like you to improvise is

136. a woman's car breaks down on the freeway.

137. A woman's car breaks down on the freeway. Take it away.

138. Hey, can somebody help me, please?

139. I've got to get to a Tupperware party.

140. Hey, just cruising down the 405 with my tank,

141. I couldn't help but notice you got some problems here. Hello.

142. Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do, big guy. Listen, I need—

143. Well, let me just check your stick to make sure there's oil on it.

144. If you know— Could be there, could be here.

145. Hey, aren't you George Clooney? You like my hair?

146. The wind blew it this way and it hasn't gone back right since.

147. Hey, Wayne's really ticklish.

148. Hey, can you get rid of him?

149. That's my friend. He only has an upper body.

150. I do.

151. My... I'm...

152. I don't need an upper body.

153. Will this do?

154. All right, we'll be right back with more Whose Line right after this.

155. Don't go away.

156. Hey, welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

157. The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

158. By the way, I want to remind you,

159. if you're planning a trip to Disney World this year,

160. Disney World or Disneyland, or California Adventure,

161. you can say anything you want to the people working there

162. and they have to be nice to you.

163. Now, let's go on to one of my favorite games called Party Quirks.

164. This is for everybody.

165. Kathy, you're gonna be hosting a party.

166. On the cards they've never seen before for Wayne, Colin, and Ryan,

167. are different strange quirks or identities of who they are

168. and you have to guess who they are after the party gets going.

169. So whenever you're ready, start the party,

170. I'll bring them in one at a time with the doorbell.

171. - Hi. - Thank you so much for inviting me out tonight.

172. Here, have a drink and...

173. Hi, come on in.

174. I will be safe here from the Dynamic Duo.

175. Finally, my plans will come to fruition.

176. - Hello. - Hey, Kath, how are you?

177. - Good, how are you? - Thanks for inviting me.

178. - Of course. - Can I help myself to a drink?

179. - Please. - Great.

180. - Hi.

181. Never again will he sing!

182. Well, this is a...

183. This is a really...

184. A really great party I'm having here.

185. It's really nice having a whole recording session on Colin's songs here.

186. Listen, I don't think that I invited the Evil Tickler tonight.

187. Now... Nice mugshots, mister.

188. No, but I guess... Can I get you another drink?

189. Um...

190. Hi...

191. Little deer caught in the headlights?

192. - You're... - No.

193. He's a whole class of...

194. - Clowns? No.

195. Posing... - Whole class of little kids, of little preschoolers.

196. Posing for their... - First picture?

197. - Yes.

198. Kathy, 3,000 points. You got them all right.

199. - Good for you.

200. And an extra 2,000 to the Evil Tickler.

201. Hey, he got you good, man.

202. Wayne's got a tickly butt.

203. Yes, I have a tickly butt.

204. And ever since Colin's found that out, man,

205. every chance he gets, he just...

206. - Not only on the show. Yeah, yeah.

207. Now, let's move on to a game called Helping Hands. This is for Ryan and Kathy.

208. They're gonna act out a situation for you, act out a scene.

209. But the trick of this game is

210. that Ryan can't use his own hands.

211. Instead, Colin is going to provide the hands for Ryan.

212. So, go ahead and get in position there. Now, the scene is

213. Ryan and Kathy are a newlywed couple

214. who wake up the morning after their wedding night to have breakfast together.

215. Maybe after breakfast we can pretend it's nighttime again.

216. Why don't we just get to breakfast? Okay, honey?

217. Oh, oh, it's starting already, is it?

218. Listen, I'm just starving.

219. You're right, I'm sorry.

220. - Well, let's see what we got.

221. - Okay. - Oh, dear.

222. Looks like it took a little while

223. to get up here from room service.

224. It does.

225. Yet it smells tasty.

226. I'd like to start with a little orange juice, however.

227. A little orange juice before my sausages.

228. I did say a little orange juice.

229. I had a little more than I thought I would.

230. You must really love it, honey.

231. - Oh! Oh, you're... - Oh!

232. Who am I? "Gracie and I..."

233. Oh, honey, stop.

234. Stop playing with your food, and just eat, for heaven's sakes.

235. Mmm! Oh...

236. Let me tell you something. That is fresh.

237. And I think it's a sausage.

238. Let's see what you have over here.

239. Oh, goody, goody, goody.

240. Oh, pancakes. Are you gonna eat them?

241. I will, but I know how much you love them.

242. - Why don't you take the first one? - I can eat two pancakes.

243. - Oh, have both. - Hey, look, I'm a fly.

244. I think our humor is gonna keep us together.

245. Oh, I do, too. Honey!

246. - What? - Oh, I didn't even know I was doing that.

247. Sweetie, don't forget about the maple syrup.

248. Oh, you have to have syrup on your pancakes, don't you?

249. I'm sorry, I'm still a little drunk from last night.

250. - Okay. - That's orange juice, what am I thinking?

251. I don't know.

252. There's the syrup. The thick, goopy...

253. Oh...

254. - Yeah... And you know what? - What, honey?

255. - Let me tell you... - Mmm-hmm?

256. Syrup is something that people on TV wouldn't wanna eat

257. - 'cause it would take forever to get off. - Yeah.

258. Good thing we're not on TV, honey.

259. Honey...

260. You're making me crazy.

261. - I know. - Oh!

262. Just a little pancake for me, I suppose.

263. Oh...

264. Mmm! That is finger-licking good.

265. Want some?

266. No, but why don't you just top that off with a little fresh fruit?

267. Oh... Ha!

268. I thought I might throw it higher.

269. Ha!

270. Ha!

271. That's the... Ha!

272. - Would you mind just pouring me a little coffee? - Hold me. Hold me now.

273. Oh, honey, I want to.

274. But something's stopping you, isn't it?

275. Yeah, I really need my caffeine in the morning, if you don't mind.

276. - Coffee? Coffee. Coffee. - If you want to take a picture, that's okay.

277. - Maybe a little later. - Yeah.

278. Honey...

279. I know, I'm not scalding myself again.

280. Cup full of coffee for you, my dear.

281. - Just a bit... - Oh! Oh, honey! Honey.

282. Good God!

283. That actually is hot, I think.

284. Must phone ambulance. Must...

285. - Hello?

286. Really is quite hot.

287. I saw steam coming up from that.

288. Yeah.

289. You know, this is how crazy I am. Watching that I thought...

290. I was wondering why Ryan wasn't screaming when the coffee hit his hand.

291. Well, a week from now, people will ask me,

292. "Did it hurt when you poured coffee on yourself?"

293. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

294. "Why isn't Colin going, 'Ow'?"

295. I forgot Colin had his hands...

296. I had my mouth in his back, screaming.

297. I thought Ryan would be going, "Ooh, my hand." I thought, "Ryan, are you okay?"

298. I didn't feel a thing.

299. Well, it looks like The Tickler will be out of action for quite some time.

300. We'll be right back. Find out who the winner is. Don't go away.

301. Hey, welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

302. Tonight's winner, Kathy Greenwood.

303. Congratulations, Kathy Greenwood.

304. So, the rest of us are gonna do

305. our favorite game in the whole wide world, the Hoedown! Yeah!

306. With Laura Hall on the piano. Laura Hall.

307. Somebody from the center section

308. give me an idea of what you wanted to be when you grew up.

309. Astronaut. Magician.

310. Magician. Let's do the Magician Hoedown. Laura Hall, take it away.

311. There goes mine.

312. Thank you, Drew.

313. We'll be right back with more Whose Line right after this. Don't go away.

314. Okay, welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

315. Tonight, we're gonna end the show with Colin reading the credits for us.

316. Colin, I want you to read the credits as the evil Batman villain, The Tickler.

317. Take it easy. We'll see you next time. Good night.

318. Everyone, welcome under my fingers of tickling death.

319. Dan Patterson, you will be the first to go.

320. Mark Leveson, you'll be next.

321. You will all be in the grips of laughter like you've never seen before.

322. Drew Carey, Wayne Brady, you will all scream like girls.

323. Steven Blum, once you...

324. Oh, no! He's invulnerable to my tickling powers.

325. Oh, good, that makes me feel good. Johnnie Gooch.

326. - I'm going to... - What you got there?

327. That was my...