Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x3

Directed by

Karla Souza as Self • Jeff Bryan Davis as Self

Guests: comedian Jeff Davis; actor Karla Souza.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x3 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x3 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x3]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x3 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x3 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY, AND WELCOME

2. TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" ON TONIGHT'S SHOW,

3. WOW. THAT RIDE LOOKS SCARY — WAYNE BRADY.

4. WOW. THAT RIDE LOOKS FAST — CHIP ESTEN.

5. WOW. THIS RIDE IS FAST — COLIN MOCHRIE.

6. AND, OH, NO, THAT THING IS GOING TO BE RYAN STILES.

7. AND I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

8. COME ON DOWN, LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9. HELLO.

10. HELLO AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

11. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

12. THAT'S RIGHT, THE POINTS ARE WORTHLESS,

13. JUST LIKE SHAQUILLE O'NEAL AT THE FREE THROW LINE.

14. IT'S TRUE.

15. JUST KIDDING AROUND IF I EVER RUN INTO YOU, BUDDY.

16. IF YOU NEVER SAW THE SHOW BEFORE,

17. THESE GUYS MAKE UP EVERYTHING

18. OFF THE TOP OF THEIR HEADS.

19. WE GIVE FAKEY POINTS AT THE END OF EVERY ROUND,

20. AND AT THE END WE PICK A WINNER.

21. THE WINNER GETS TO SIT HERE AND RELAX

22. WHILE THE LOSERS HAVE A VERY GOOD CHANCE

23. OF DISCOVERING THE WOMAN WITHIN.

24. LET'S START OUT WITH A GAME CALLED "WEIRD NEWSCASTERS."

25. THIS IS FOR EVERYBODY. COME ON DOWN HERE.

26. UH, COLIN —

27. COLIN IS GOING TO BE THE ANCHOR OF A NEWS SHOW.

28. CHIP, YOU'RE THE CO-ANCHOR, A YOUNG COWBOY RODEO STAR —

29. SPORTS, YOU'RE DOING.

30. WAYNE, WAYNE, YOU ARE

31. THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING TEAM.

32. UH, RYAN, YOU'RE DOING THE WEATHER.

33. YOU'RE RAPIDLY DESCENDING THE EVOLUTIONARY SCALE.

34. UH, SO, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, COLIN.

35. WHENEVER YOU HEAR THE MUSIC, START THE NEWS.

36. WELCOME TO THE 6:00 NEWS.

37. I'M YOUR ANCHOR PUFFY "DON'T NEED" COMBS.

38. OUR TOP STORY TODAY...

39. AN ENTIRE CULT OF DEAD KILLER BEES

40. WERE FOUND DEAD.

41. THEY ARE THOUGHT TO HAVE COMMITTED INSECTICIDE.

42. AND NOW OVER TO OUR CO-ANCHOR

43. DEWEY DON'T-EY.

44. DEWEY?

45. OKAY. OH, ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO.

46. OKAY, GO NOW, NOW, NOW!

47. WHOO! WHOO!

48. AND NOW OVER TO SPORTS

49. WITH OUR SPORTS ANCHOR JUAN TANAMARA. JUAN?

50. HELLO. TODAY IN SPORTS, ALL THE FOOTBALL TEAMS

51. ARE GOING TO MAKE A — CLINK —

52. A BIG SPLASH.

53. BACK TO YOU.

54. THIS JUST IN —

55. IT'S STILL NOT REALLY A SPORT.

56. AND NOW...

57. YOU DAMN RIGHT. MM-HMM.

58. AND NOW OVER TO WEATHER

59. WITH OUR WEATHERMAN DIPPY DeLOO. DIPPY?

60. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, COLIN.

61. AS YOU CAN SEE,

62. WE'VE GOT, UH, RAIN COMING IN FOR THE, UH,

63. FOR THE, UH, THE WEEKEND,

64. AND THE CLOUDS WILL BE GOING AWAY.

65. AND THE CLOUDS WILL BE GOING AWAY.

66. YOU EACH GET 1,000 POINTS.

67. LET'S GO ON TO PARTY QUIRKS.

68. BACK TO YOU.

69. WELL, THAT'S ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO TELL.

70. SEE YOU TOMORROW ON THE 6:00 NEWS.

71. GOOD NIGHT.

72. THAT WAS RINGLING BROTHERS. THEY WANT THEIR SHOES BACK.

73. OH, ALL RIGHT.

74. EMMETT CAN'T GO ON WITHOUT HIS SHOES.

75. ALL RIGHT, JUST TO BE A BIG MAN,

76. 1,000 POINTS APIECE.

77. YES.

78. I CAN TAKE IT. DOESN'T BOTHER ME.

79. TALL BIG-NOSED FREAK, YOU.

80. LET'S GO TO A GAME CALLED "NARRATE."

81. OH, MAN.

82. COLIN AND THE TALL FREAK.

83. WHAT WE NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

84. IS AN UNLIKELY PLACE FOR A FILM NOIR SCENE.

85. BATHROOM.

86. Man #2: BIKE SHOP.

87. BIKE SHOP. SO YOU'RE AT A BIKE SHOP.

88. NOT THE BEST SUGGESTION, BUT FOR THE FREAK,

89. HE CAN MAKE ANYTHING FUNNY, RIGHT, FREAK? I'M SORRY.

90. YOU JUST HAVE TO FORGET NOW.

91. YOU'RE GOING TO ACT OUT A FILM NOIR SCENE

92. SET IN A BIKE SHOP.

93. TAKE IT AWAY WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

94. 15 YEARS AGO, SOMEONE STOLE MY SCHWINN.

95. I'VE BEEN SEARCHING ALL ACROSS AMERICA

96. AND FOUR CONTINENTS.

97. EVERYWHERE LED ME TO THIS STRANGE BIKE SHOP

98. WHERE I NOTICED THE OWNER WAS BLOWING UP A ZEPPELIN.

99. EXCUSE ME. I'M LOOKING FOR A SPECIAL SCHWINN —

100. HAS A BANANA SEAT

101. AND AN "I LOVE CANADA" STICKER.

102. REALLY?

103. YEAH.

104. HE ASKED FOR A BANANA SEAT.

105. I WONDER WHY.

106. A BANANA SEAT, YOU SAY?

107. THEY'RE KIND OF RARE NOWADAYS.

108. ARE THEY?

109. YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN THE SHOP?

110. WELL, I GOT ONE BIKE IN THE BACK ROOM.

111. HAVING BEEN BLINDED BY HIS TIE,

112. IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO SEE

113. THAT HE ACTUALLY HAD A BANANA SEAT

114. STICKING OUT THE TOP OF HIS PANTS.

115. THIS WAS THE MAN I'D BEEN LOOKING FOR

116. FOR 15 YEARS.

117. NOW WAS TIME FOR HIM TO PAY.

118. WHAT'S THIS?

119. THAT'S MY BANANA SEAT!

120. MY BANANA SEAT!

121. I'M GOING TO GET MY GUN.

122. AS HE WAS GOING FOR HIS GUN,

123. SEVERAL EMOTIONS RAN ACROSS MY FACE —

124. FEAR, HAPPINESS, SADNESS.

125. I KNEW I WAS GOING FOR AN EMMY

126. AND YET WOULD NEVER GET ONE.

127. MAN.

128. WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH IT?

129. I'LL HOLD THAT.

130. HE ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED WITH IT,

131. AND ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T KNOW, AT THIS POINT I THOUGHT

132. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN HIM THE GUN.

133. I WANT YOU TO ASSEMBLE MY BIKE

134. THE WAY IT WAS 15 YEARS AGO

135. FROM ALL THE SCRAP AROUND HERE RIGHT NOW.

136. SQUEAKY, SQUEAKY, SQUEAKY, SQUEAKY.

137. CLUNK.

138. YEAH, IT WAS PUT TOGETHER,

139. BUT WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS

140. WHEN HE RIDES IT.

141. I DIDN'T WANT THE FIRESTONE TIRES.

142. 1,000 POINTS, EVERYBODY.

143. 10,000 POINTS TO RYAN.

144. I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU FREAK.

145. I SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED YOU FREAK ON NATIONAL TV.

146. AW.

147. AND...

148. I LOVE YOU.

149. ALL RIGHT, GOOD ENOUGH.

150. A VERY SPECIAL "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

151. I DID. I FELT BAD THE WHOLE SHOW,

152. I FELT GREAT

153. WHILE I WAS DOING THAT MONKEY THING.

154. NOW LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "DUET."

155. THIS IS FOR CHIP AND WAYNE

156. WITH LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR.

157. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

158. MARILEE.

159. PET PHOTOGRAPHER.

160. WHERE, AT SEARS OR SOMEPLACE?

161. OH, JUST ON THE STREET?

162. YOU JUST WALK UP TO STRANGERS?

163. OKAY, COME ON DOWN HERE AND SAY HI TO EVERYBODY.

164. OKAY, GO HAVE A SEAT.

165. THIS IS MARILEE. SHE'S, UH...

166. NOBODY DOES IT LIKE MARILEE.

167. MARILEE, SHE'S A PET PHOTOGRAPHER.

168. SHE DOESN'T WORK ANYWHERE. SHE JUST WALKS UP TO PEOPLE

169. AND TAKES PICTURES OF THEIR PETS, I GUESS.

170. YOU'RE GOING TO SING A SONG TO HER

171. IN THE STYLE OF, UH, AEROSMITH AND RUN-DMC.

172. FRESH, FRESH.

173. YOW!

174. Y-Y-YOW, YOW, YOW!

175. YEAH.

176. Y-Y-YOW! YOW! YOW!

177. FRESH, FRESH.

178. YEAH!

179. BOW-BOW-WOW.

180. THAT WAS GREAT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

181. WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE." DON'T GO AWAY.

182. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

183. WE GET A LOT OF PEOPLE ASKING US,

184. "HOW CAN I BE ONE OF THE CAST MEMBERS

185. ON 'WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?'" HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.

186. SEND IT TO "I WANT TO BE ON WHOSE LINE,"

187. CARE OF "WHOSE LINE."

188. THAT'S HOW I GOT ON.

189. ANYWAY, WE'RE GOING TO MOVE ON

190. WITH A GAME CALLED "INFOMERCIAL."

191. THIS IS FOR RYAN AND COLIN.

192. JUST SET THIS ONE UP HERE.

193. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE IS A, UH, SUGGESTION

194. OF SOMETHING YOU MIGHT SEE SOLD

195. FOR SELF-IMPROVEMENT OR BEAUTY ENHANCEMENT.

196. HAIR REMOVAL.

197. HAIR REMOVAL.

198. HAIR REMOVAL.

199. SO YOU'RE SELLING, UH, HAIR REMOVAL PRODUCTS

200. ON AN INFOMERCIAL.

201. WONDER HOW GOOD THEY WORK.

202. YOU HAVE TO USE ALL THE ITEMS WE PUT IN THAT BOX FOR YOU.

203. SO TAKE IT AWAY WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

204. HI, THERE. WE'RE THE PHILLIPS TWINS.

205. NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT US?

206. THAT'S RIGHT. ONE OF US HAS LOTS OF HAIR,

207. THE OTHER HAS SOME HAIR.

208. BECAUSE THE CHICKS LOVE IT. THAT'S WHY...

209. WE HAVE COME UP WITH A HAIR REMOVAL PROCESS

210. THAT WILL MAKE YOU 10 TIMES SEXIER

211. THAN ANYONE WITH HAIR AND A BIG NOSE.

212. THAT'S RIGHT.

213. THAT'S RIGHT, AND THROUGH 10 EASY STEPS,

214. YOU CAN ACHIEVE A LOOK LIKE THIS.

215. AND IT'S CHEAP.

216. WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE FIRST, BROTHER?

217. WELL, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT —

218. NO, LET'S WAIT FOR THAT, COLIN.

219. WHAT'S THAT LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

220. WHY, IT LOOKS LIKE A THING

221. THAT MEASURES THINGS WHEN YOU SQUIRT.

222. A BASTER? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT?

223. THAT'S EXACTLY —

224. I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE ANYONE WITH ALL THE TECHNICAL TERMS.

225. NO, COLIN, ACTUALLY,

226. THIS HAS 100 TIMES THE SUCKING POWER

227. OF ANY BASTER.

228. HOW WILL THAT HELP YOU WITH HAIR REMOVAL?

229. WAIT A MINUTE, COLIN.

230. YOU SEEM TO HAVE ONE IN YOUR NECK THERE.

231. I'LL JUST SAVE THAT.

232. AND IT'S PAINLESS.

233. IT'S OKAY. WE'RE TWINS.

234. THAT'S AN ODD PIECE OF SOMETHING.

235. IT CERTAINLY IS.

236. OH, MAN.

237. EXACTLY. YOU KNOW,

238. IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE AN OLYMPIC SWIMMER, SAY,

239. OR JUST SOMEONE WHO NEEDS NO CHEST HAIR,

240. THIS IS THE ITEM FOR YOU.

241. EASY — JUST SQUEEZE UNTIL THE HAIRS ARE SEIZED,

242. THEN VERY GENTLY RIP!

243. AAH!

244. OH.

245. YOU KNOW,

246. AFTER THE HAIR IS REMOVED,

247. THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A GOOD BUFF.

248. NOW, COLIN,

249. A LOT OF TIMES —

250. A LOT OF TIMES

251. YOU MIGHT REMOVE A LITTLE TOO MUCH HAIR,

252. BUT REMEMBER THAT FOLLICLE IS STILL IN THERE.

253. YOU CAN ALWAYS GET THE HAIR

254. TO POP BACK UP INTO YOUR SCALP...

255. JUST THAT EASY,

256. AND IF YOU ACT BY TOMORROW,

257. I HAVE NO HAIR!

258. NOW...

259. YOU MAY THINK TO YOURSELF —

260. I HAVE NO HAIR.

261. YOU MAY THINK TO YOURSELF,

262. "HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? AFTER MY HAIR IS GONE,

263. "I MIGHT NOT ALWAYS LIKE THE LOOK

264. "AND WOMEN MIGHT NOT FIND IT ATTRACTIVE.

265. "HOW DO I GET THEIR INTEREST?

266. MAYBE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR?"

267. THAT'S WHY WE'VE THROWN THIS IN FREE.

268. WE INTERRUPT THIS SHOW

269. FOR THIS SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT —

270. I HAVE NO HAIR.

271. YOU'D LISTEN IF PEOPLE DID THAT.

272. I SURE WOULD. I WISH PEOPLE HAD TO MAKE

273. EVERY ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THEIR SHORTCOMINGS LIKE THAT.

274. RYAN'S SHOES ARE TOO LOUD.

275. UH, LET'S MOVE ON TO A GAME CALLED "HOEDOWN."

276. THAT'S MY FAVORITE GAME.

277. "HOEDOWN," WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL ON THE PIANO.

278. THANK YOU, LAURA.

279. OVER IN THE FAR SECTION OVER THERE,

280. TELL ME SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU

281. THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP SECRET.

282. BLIND DATE.

283. A "BLIND DATE HOEDOWN."

284. LET'S HEAR THE "BLIND DATE HOEDOWN," LAURA HALL.

285. TAKE IT AWAY.

286. WHOO-HOO!

287. HEY, DON'T GO ANYWHERE. WE'LL COME BACK

288. AND FIND OUT WHO THE WINNER IS WITH MORE

289. "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" RIGHT AFTER THIS.

290. HELLO AND WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

291. TONIGHT'S WINNERS — COLIN MOCHRIE AND CHIP,

292. COLIN AND CHIP.

293. THE REST OF US ARE GOING TO DO A GAME FOR YOU

294. CALLED "3-HEADED BROADWAY STAR."

295. WE'RE GOING TO BE SINGING TO KIM HERE

296. WE GOT FROM THE AUDIENCE AT THE COMMERCIAL BREAK.

297. LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR ARE GOING TO HELP US OUT.

298. WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO

299. IS WE'RE GOING TO SING A SONG TO KIM

300. ONE WORD AT A TIME.

301. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

302. IS FOR YOU GUYS TO FILL IN THIS BLANK —

303. I LOVE YOU FOR YOUR...

304. SHOES. OKAY, SHOES IT IS.

305. "I LOVE YOU FOR YOUR SHOES" ONE WORD AT A TIME.

306. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. DON'T GO AWAY.

307. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

308. TONIGHT I'M GOING TO HAVE ALL THE GUYS

309. READ THE CREDITS FOR YOU.

310. I WANT ALL OF YOU TO READ THE CREDITS

311. AS YOU'RE PROGRESSING DOWN THE EVOLUTIONARY SCALE,

312. IF YOU BELIEVE IN THAT KIND OF THING.

313. THANKS FOR WATCHING THEN. GOOD NIGHT.

314. YES, YES, YES.

315. DIRECTED BY BRUCE GOWERS.

316. TOM PARKS.

317. HOSTED BY DREW CAREY, COLIN MOCHRIE.

318. KIERAN HEALY DID THE, UH...

319. OH! OH, NO, I'M ALL RIGHT.

320. LET THERE BE LIFE!

321. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.