1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY.
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2. WELCOME TO
"WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"
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3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW, BATTERIES
NOT INCLUDED — WAYNE BRADY.
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4. SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED —
CHIP ESTEN.
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5. AGES 5 AND UP —
COLIN MOCHRIE.
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6. AND SHOWN ACTUAL SIZE —
RYAN STILES.
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7. AND I'M YOUR HOST, DREW CAREY.
COME ON, LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.
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8. WHOA!
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9. THANK YOU, WELCOME TO
"WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"
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10. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP
AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.
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11. THE POINTS ARE LIKE
ANGELINA JOLIE'S MORNING BREATH.
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12. WHO CARES WHAT IT'S LIKE?
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13. LET'S SHOW YOU
HOW FUNNY IT GETS
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14. BY PLAYING THE GAME CALLED
"LET'S MAKE A DATE."
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15. RYAN, COLIN, AND WAYNE
ARE CONTESTANTS
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16. HOPING TO BE PICKED BY CHIP
ON A DATING-TYPE SHOW,
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17. BUT THEY'RE NOT THE KIND
OF PEOPLE YOU WOULD EXPECT.
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18. WE GAVE THEM EACH
A STRANGE CHARACTERISTIC
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19. OR IDENTITY
ON THESE CARDS.
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20. I'M LAUGHING
'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.
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21. AND CHIP HAS TO GUESS
WHO THEY ARE.
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22. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, CHIP,
OFF YOU GO.
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23. OH, MY GOD. UM...
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24. OKAY, UM...
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25. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,
OKAY, UM, I BELIEVE
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26. THAT EVERY RELATIONSHIP
SHOULD BE BASED
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27. ON A VERY FIRM FOUNDATION
OF MONEY...
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28. UH-HUH.
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29. OH, HELL, YEAH!
OH, Y—
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30. OKAY,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO —
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31. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
ARE YOU TALKING?
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32. I DON'T THINK ANYONE GAVE YOU
LICENSE TO TALK.
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33. HERE IN CHILAHAPPA,
MISSISSIPPI COUNTY...
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34. OH, MY GOD, YOU SCARE ME,
AND I LIKE THAT.
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35. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,
I LIKE TO READ —
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36. NOT BOOKS, BUT, UM...
LIKE, BUMPER STICKERS.
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37. BUMPER STICKERS?
INTERESTING.
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38. IF YOU COULD PUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE
ON THE STICKER,
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39. WHAT WOULD YOUR LIFE BE?
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40. WELL, MY BUMPER STICKER
WOULD SAY, "I GO SOLO."
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41. OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
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42. OKAY, BACHELOR NUMBER,
UM... UH...
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43. YOU...
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44. MM-HMM.
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45. I THINK THAT IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
TO HAVE RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER.
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46. WHAT KIND OF NICE THINGS
WOULD YOU SAY TO ME
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47. WHEN YOU CAME
TO PICK ME UP?
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48. I'D SAY, "LIGHT UP THEM CARS
AND LIGHT 'EM AFIRE."
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49. Sit down.
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50. VROOM! VROOM, VROOM!
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51. VROOM!
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52. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!
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53. HEY! HEY!
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54. VROOM, VROOM!
VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!
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55. VROOM, VROOM!
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56. VROOOOOOOM!
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57. GOOD ANSWER! GOOD ANSWER!
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58. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,
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59. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE
YOU'VE EVER TOLD?
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60. THAT YOU'LL BE OUT
BY 6:00 TOMORROW MORNIN'.
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61. IN FACT, WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME
FROM NOW ON,
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62. YOU JUST SAY,
"YES, SIR, MR. THELAW."
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63. YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
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64. YES, S—
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65. SHUT UP.
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66. WHATCHA LOOKIN' AT,
SISSY BOY?
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67. HUH?
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68. GET OFF MY BUTT!
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69. OKAY, UM, SISSY BOY —
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,
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70. UM, WHERE WOULD YOU TAKE ME
ON OUR HONEYMOON?
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71. I DON'T KNOW.
I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT DATING.
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72. I DO EVERYTHING
ASS-BACKWARDS.
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73. BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!
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74. OKAY. ALL RIGHT, THEN.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
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75. UM, BACHELOR NUMBER THREE,
IF YOU WERE A DOG,
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76. WHAT KIND OF DOG
WOULD YOU BE?
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77. OH, I THINK I'D PROBABLY BE
ONE OF THOSE —
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78. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!
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79. VROOM, VROOM!
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80. VROOM!
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81. VROOOOM! VROOOOM! VROOOOM!
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82. VROOM!
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83. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM...
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84. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM...
VROOM! VROOM!
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85. VROOOOOOOOOM!
VROOOOOOOOOM!
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86. OKAY, CHIP...
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87. OKAY, UM...
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88. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,
YOU ARE A SOUTHERN POLICE CHIEF.
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89. HE'S A STATE TROOPER.
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90. STATE TROOPER, YEAH.
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91. THIS NEXT ONE'S
A TWO-PART ANSWER.
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92. THEY ARE SIAMESE TWINS, AND HE
WANTS TO BE SEPARATED FROM HIM.
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93. PART OF A DOUBLE ACT
THAT WANTS TO GO SOLO.
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94. YEAH,
HE WANTS TO GO SOLO.
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95. SAYS HERE, "COLIN IS JOINED
AT THE BUTT TO RYAN,
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96. BUT DESPERATE
FOR HIS OWN CAREER."
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97. MAKES MINE A LITTLE ROUGH,
DOESN'T IT?
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98. RYAN'S JOINED AT THE BUTT
WITH COLIN
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99. AND IS A STUNT-MOTORCYCLE
DRIVER.
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100. YES.
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101. HEY, RYAN,
COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.
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102. COULD HAVE MADE YOU
A PORN STAR...
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103. JOINED AT THE BUTT
WITH COLIN.
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104. FIRST TIME
WE'VE MADE MONEY FROM IT.
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105. NOW LET'S PLAY A GAME
CALLED "MOTOWN GROUP."
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106. THIS IS FOR WAYNE, CHIP,
AND RYAN.
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107. ONE OF YOU
FROM THE AUDIENCE...
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108. GIVE ME
THE NAME OF A SPORT.
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109. HOCKEY.
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110. NOW,
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IS,
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111. THEY'RE GONNA SING A SONG
LIKE A MOTOWN GROUP,
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112. AND THEY'RE GONNA MAKE UP
ONE VERSE AT A TIME,
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113. AND THE OTHER TWO
ARE GONNA DO BACKUP
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114. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL,
LINDA TAYLOR,
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115. AND CECE WORRALL.
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116. IT SAYS YOU'LL BE SINGING
THE SONG "DO THE BLANK."
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117. "DO THE HOCKEY PLAYER"
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
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118. WHUH?
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119. IT'S ABOUT HOCKEY.
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120. SHH! SHH! UHH!
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121. YOU TOOK MY ZAMBONI LINE.
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122. HEY! HEY!
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123. HEY! WHA—
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124. SHH! SHH! SHH!
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125. SHHHHH!
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126. BOOF!
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127. OHH!
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128. I HAD
THAT ZAMBONI LINE SO READY!
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129. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
"WHOSE LINE" AFTER THIS.
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130. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO
"WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"
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131. I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT COLIN'S
NEW SHOW HE'S DEVELOPING.
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132. IT'S A CROSS BETWEEN
"RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT,"
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133. "STEP BY STEP,"
"GOMER PYLE,"
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134. AND "THE ADVENTURES
OF WINNIE THE POOH."
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135. WHAT'S IT CALLED, DREW?
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136. IT'S CALLED "BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
I STEPPED IN A PYLE OF POOH."
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137. YEAH, I'M VERY EXCITED
ABOUT THAT.
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138. SO, UH, ANYWAY,
WE'RE GONNA MOVE ON
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139. WITH A GAME CALLED
"SONG TITLES."
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140. COME ON DOWN HERE,
ALL FOUR OF YOU.
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141. WAYNE AND CHIP,
YOU'RE GONNA START.
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142. OH, NO!
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143. IT'S A GOOD PARTY GAME IF YOU'RE
WITH PEOPLE WHO KNOW MUSIC.
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144. YOU CAN ONLY SPEAK
IN SONG TITLES,
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145. AND I'LL BUZZ
IF ONE OF YOU GO WRONG.
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146. IT'S NOT PHRASES FROM
THE SONGS — IT'S TITLES.
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147. AND IF SOMEONE MAKES
A MISTAKE,
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148. THE OTHER PERSON
TAKES THEIR PLACE.
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149. THE THEME IS,
YOU'RE IN THE ARMY.
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150. SONG TITLES ONLY.
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151. YOU'RE IN THE ARMY NOW!
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152. HELLO?
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153. WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT?
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154. I AM WOMAN.
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155. GET DOWN TONIGHT!
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156. 25 OR 6 TO 4!
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157. BYE BYE BYE!
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158. AHH!
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159. MICHELLE.
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160. Y-YES?
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161. SERGEANT PEPPER.
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162. OHH!
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163. MEAN MR. MUSTARD.
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164. OOPS. I DID IT AGAIN.
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165. HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN.
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166. UHH! DOOKIE.
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167. YOU OUGHTA KNOW.
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168. PRIVATE DANCER!
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169. DIMDI LIBIYI!
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170. NICE TRY.
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171. FREE, BIRD.
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172. SAY GOODBYE.
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173. SAY, SAY, SAY.
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174. EBONY AND IVORY!
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175. TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT.
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176. ROUTE 66.
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177. NORTH TO ALASKA.
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178. WESTWARD, HO.
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179. O CANADA!
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180. GET DOWN.
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181. GET DOWN ON IT?
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182. 1,000 POINTS FOR EVERY OF YOU.
THAT WAS A HARD GAME.
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183. 1,000 POINTS APIECE.
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184. HEY, THAT'LL SPICE UP
YOUR BORING PARTY
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185. WHEN YOU HAVE NO BOOZE
OR CHICKS SITTING AROUND.
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186. LET'S GO TO ON
TO A GAME —
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187. MY FAVORITE GAME, JUST ABOUT —
CALLED "SCENES FROM A HAT."
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188. BEFORE THE SHOW,
WE ASKED THE AUDIENCE
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189. TO WRITE DOWN SUGGESTIONS
FOR THINGS,
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190. AND ONE OF THE THINGS
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191. IS SCENES THEY'D LIKE TO SEE US
PULL OUT OF THE HAT
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192. SO THESE GUYS CAN ACT OUT.
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193. WE'LL PULL OUT
AS MANY AS WE CAN
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194. AND LET THESE GUYS
ACT THEM OUT.
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195. FIRST ONE IS, "WHEN CARTOON
CHARACTERS GO ON DATES."
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196. HEAVENS TO MURGATROYD!
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197. YOU'RE SEXY —
BEAUTIFUL, EVEN!
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198. BUT IT —
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199. I'M VERY UNINHIBITED IN BED.
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200. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
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201. WELL, HEY THERE, LADY!
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202. YOU WANNA TAKE A LOOK
AT MY PIC-A-NIC BASKET?
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203. I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE.
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204. I SAY, YOU ALMOST LOST HIM!
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205. OHH!
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206. OHH!
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207. "FIRST DRAFTS
OF FAMOUS MOVIE LINES."
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208. "FRANKLY, SCARLETT...
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209. I DON'T GIVE A LAMB."
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210. MISS SCARLETT,
I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'
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211. ABOUT BIRTHIN' NO TELETUBBIES.
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212. GO AHEAD...
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213. MAKE A CAKE.
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214. I'LL BE BACK
IN A COUPLE MINUTES.
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215. I HAVE SOME THINGS I HAVE TO DO,
AND THEN I'LL COME ON BACK.
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216. FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK TOAD.
FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK TOAD.
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217. FREDZILLA! FREDZILLA!
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218. FREDZILLA.
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219. LUKE, I'M
YOUR SECOND UNCLE TWICE REMOVED.
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220. "WORLD'S WORST PERSON
TO BE STUCK WITH AT A PARTY."
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221. FREDZILLA!
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222. "TRIVIAL REASONS
TO HOLD NEWS CONFERENCES."
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223. "TRIVIAL REASONS
TO HOLD NEWS CONFERENCES."
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224. I'VE ASKED YOU ALL HERE TO
ANNOUNCE THIS NEWS CONFERENCE.
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225. UM, I'M HERE TO REPORT
THAT, UH...
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226. JIMMY IS LONGER CRACKING CORN,
AND I DO CARE.
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227. GOT A NEW PODIUM!
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228. I WOULD NOW LIKE TO ANNOUNCE
UPN's FALL SEASON.
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229. ALL RIGHT...
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230. "COLOR COMMENTATORS
ON THEIR DAY OFF."
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231. HONEY,
THE DINNER WAS GREAT,
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232. BUT LET ME SHOW YOU
WHAT YOU DID WRONG.
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233. RIGHT HERE, YOU SHOULD HAVE
COME AROUND THE COUNTER
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234. AND TAKEN THE MASHED POTATOES
AND THEN —
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235. WELL, THAT WAS GREAT, GREAT SEX.
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236. LET'S TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THAT.
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237. GET OUT YOUR PENS,
EVERYBODY.
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238. IT'S "THINGS YOU CAN SAY TO YOUR
DOG, BUT NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
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239. WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?
WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?
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240. AM I GONNA HAVE TO
RUB YOUR NOSE IN THAT?
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241. COME.
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242. I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A BATH
AND THEN A NICE BONE.
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243. GRAB THE BALL!
GRAB THE BALL!
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244. GRAB THE BALL!
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245. GET OFF THE MAILMAN!
GET OFF THE MAILMAN!
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246. "OTHER THINGS DOROTHY AND HER
FRIENDS ASKED THE WIZARD FOR."
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247. I'D RATHER DRIVE
THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD.
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248. YOU WOULDN'T KNOW
OF A RENTAL-CAR PLACE AROUND?
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249. OOH, MR. WIZARD, I WOULD LOVE
SOME HAIR FOR MY FRIEND.
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250. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
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251. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
"WHOSE LINE" AFTER THIS.
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252. HEY! WELCOME BACK
TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"
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253. TONIGHT'S WINNER —
WAYNE BRADY!
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254. FIX! FIX!
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255. THE REST OF US
ARE GONNA DO A HOEDOWN
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256. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL
ON THE PIANO.
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257. AND WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU
IS A SUGGESTION
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258. OF SOMETHING EMBARRASSING
THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP SECRET.
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259. BODY ODOR!
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260. LET'S DO
THE BODY-ODOR HOEDOWN.
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261. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
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262. I'M SORRY FOR THE PEOPLE
SITTING NEXT TO YOU.
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263. THE BODY-ODOR HOEDOWN.
TAKE IT AWAY, LAURA HALL.
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264. WHOO!
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265. EVERYBODY MIGHT WANT TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM FOR A WHILE,
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266. COME BACK IN.
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267. I'M PHASED OUT.
I CAN'T
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268. I GOT ONE.
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269. COME OVER HERE.
STAND BEHIND ME AND SING IT.
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270. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE
"WHOSE LINE" AFTER THIS.
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271. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO
"WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"
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272. WE'RE GONNA HAVE RYAN AND COLIN
READ THE CREDITS.
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273. I WANT YOU TO READ THE CREDITS
AS TWO GUYS JOINED AT THE BUTT.
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274. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
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275. DAN PATTERSON,
DREW CAREY.
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276. JIMMY MULVILLE
IS THE GUY —
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277. CAN YOU TURN A LITTLE MORE
SO I CAN SEE THIS?
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278. SORRY, GO AHEAD.
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279. PRODUCER IS DANNY BREEN.
HOSTED BY DREW CAREY.
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280. HEY, WHAT ARE
YOU GUYS DOING?
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281. KIM KILLINGSWORTH
IS OUR UNFORTUNATE —
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282. OH, COME ON!
IT'S THE BEST PART OF NY ACT!
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283. OHH! OHH!
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284. OW! OW!
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285. BUTT! BUTT! BUTT! BUTT!
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286. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC.
AND WARNER BROS. INC.
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