Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x19

Directed by

Jonathan Mangum as Self

Guests: comedian Jonathan Mangum.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY.

2. WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW, BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED — WAYNE BRADY.

4. SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED — CHIP ESTEN.

5. AGES 5 AND UP — COLIN MOCHRIE.

6. AND SHOWN ACTUAL SIZE — RYAN STILES.

7. AND I'M YOUR HOST, DREW CAREY. COME ON, LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

8. WHOA!

9. THANK YOU, WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

10. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

11. THE POINTS ARE LIKE ANGELINA JOLIE'S MORNING BREATH.

12. WHO CARES WHAT IT'S LIKE?

13. LET'S SHOW YOU HOW FUNNY IT GETS

14. BY PLAYING THE GAME CALLED "LET'S MAKE A DATE."

15. RYAN, COLIN, AND WAYNE ARE CONTESTANTS

16. HOPING TO BE PICKED BY CHIP ON A DATING-TYPE SHOW,

17. BUT THEY'RE NOT THE KIND OF PEOPLE YOU WOULD EXPECT.

18. WE GAVE THEM EACH A STRANGE CHARACTERISTIC

19. OR IDENTITY ON THESE CARDS.

20. I'M LAUGHING 'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.

21. AND CHIP HAS TO GUESS WHO THEY ARE.

22. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, CHIP, OFF YOU GO.

23. OH, MY GOD. UM...

24. OKAY, UM...

25. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE, OKAY, UM, I BELIEVE

26. THAT EVERY RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE BASED

27. ON A VERY FIRM FOUNDATION OF MONEY...

28. UH-HUH.

29. OH, HELL, YEAH! OH, Y—

30. OKAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO —

31. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! ARE YOU TALKING?

32. I DON'T THINK ANYONE GAVE YOU LICENSE TO TALK.

33. HERE IN CHILAHAPPA, MISSISSIPPI COUNTY...

34. OH, MY GOD, YOU SCARE ME, AND I LIKE THAT.

35. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO, I LIKE TO READ —

36. NOT BOOKS, BUT, UM... LIKE, BUMPER STICKERS.

37. BUMPER STICKERS? INTERESTING.

38. IF YOU COULD PUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON THE STICKER,

39. WHAT WOULD YOUR LIFE BE?

40. WELL, MY BUMPER STICKER WOULD SAY, "I GO SOLO."

41. OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

42. OKAY, BACHELOR NUMBER, UM... UH...

43. YOU...

44. MM-HMM.

45. I THINK THAT IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO HAVE RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER.

46. WHAT KIND OF NICE THINGS WOULD YOU SAY TO ME

47. WHEN YOU CAME TO PICK ME UP?

48. I'D SAY, "LIGHT UP THEM CARS AND LIGHT 'EM AFIRE."

49. Sit down.

50. VROOM! VROOM, VROOM!

51. VROOM!

52. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!

53. HEY! HEY!

54. VROOM, VROOM! VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!

55. VROOM, VROOM!

56. VROOOOOOOM!

57. GOOD ANSWER! GOOD ANSWER!

58. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,

59. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE YOU'VE EVER TOLD?

60. THAT YOU'LL BE OUT BY 6:00 TOMORROW MORNIN'.

61. IN FACT, WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME FROM NOW ON,

62. YOU JUST SAY, "YES, SIR, MR. THELAW."

63. YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

64. YES, S—

65. SHUT UP.

66. WHATCHA LOOKIN' AT, SISSY BOY?

67. HUH?

68. GET OFF MY BUTT!

69. OKAY, UM, SISSY BOY — BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,

70. UM, WHERE WOULD YOU TAKE ME ON OUR HONEYMOON?

71. I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT DATING.

72. I DO EVERYTHING ASS-BACKWARDS.

73. BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!

74. OKAY. ALL RIGHT, THEN. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

75. UM, BACHELOR NUMBER THREE, IF YOU WERE A DOG,

76. WHAT KIND OF DOG WOULD YOU BE?

77. OH, I THINK I'D PROBABLY BE ONE OF THOSE —

78. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!

79. VROOM, VROOM!

80. VROOM!

81. VROOOOM! VROOOOM! VROOOOM!

82. VROOM!

83. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM...

84. VROOM, VROOM, VROOM... VROOM! VROOM!

85. VROOOOOOOOOM! VROOOOOOOOOM!

86. OKAY, CHIP...

87. OKAY, UM...

88. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE, YOU ARE A SOUTHERN POLICE CHIEF.

89. HE'S A STATE TROOPER.

90. STATE TROOPER, YEAH.

91. THIS NEXT ONE'S A TWO-PART ANSWER.

92. THEY ARE SIAMESE TWINS, AND HE WANTS TO BE SEPARATED FROM HIM.

93. PART OF A DOUBLE ACT THAT WANTS TO GO SOLO.

94. YEAH, HE WANTS TO GO SOLO.

95. SAYS HERE, "COLIN IS JOINED AT THE BUTT TO RYAN,

96. BUT DESPERATE FOR HIS OWN CAREER."

97. MAKES MINE A LITTLE ROUGH, DOESN'T IT?

98. RYAN'S JOINED AT THE BUTT WITH COLIN

99. AND IS A STUNT-MOTORCYCLE DRIVER.

100. YES.

101. HEY, RYAN, COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.

102. COULD HAVE MADE YOU A PORN STAR...

103. JOINED AT THE BUTT WITH COLIN.

104. FIRST TIME WE'VE MADE MONEY FROM IT.

105. NOW LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED "MOTOWN GROUP."

106. THIS IS FOR WAYNE, CHIP, AND RYAN.

107. ONE OF YOU FROM THE AUDIENCE...

108. GIVE ME THE NAME OF A SPORT.

109. HOCKEY.

110. NOW, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IS,

111. THEY'RE GONNA SING A SONG LIKE A MOTOWN GROUP,

112. AND THEY'RE GONNA MAKE UP ONE VERSE AT A TIME,

113. AND THE OTHER TWO ARE GONNA DO BACKUP

114. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL, LINDA TAYLOR,

115. AND CECE WORRALL.

116. IT SAYS YOU'LL BE SINGING THE SONG "DO THE BLANK."

117. "DO THE HOCKEY PLAYER" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

118. WHUH?

119. IT'S ABOUT HOCKEY.

120. SHH! SHH! UHH!

121. YOU TOOK MY ZAMBONI LINE.

122. HEY! HEY!

123. HEY! WHA—

124. SHH! SHH! SHH!

125. SHHHHH!

126. BOOF!

127. OHH!

128. I HAD THAT ZAMBONI LINE SO READY!

129. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" AFTER THIS.

130. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

131. I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT COLIN'S NEW SHOW HE'S DEVELOPING.

132. IT'S A CROSS BETWEEN "RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT,"

133. "STEP BY STEP," "GOMER PYLE,"

134. AND "THE ADVENTURES OF WINNIE THE POOH."

135. WHAT'S IT CALLED, DREW?

136. IT'S CALLED "BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I STEPPED IN A PYLE OF POOH."

137. YEAH, I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THAT.

138. SO, UH, ANYWAY, WE'RE GONNA MOVE ON

139. WITH A GAME CALLED "SONG TITLES."

140. COME ON DOWN HERE, ALL FOUR OF YOU.

141. WAYNE AND CHIP, YOU'RE GONNA START.

142. OH, NO!

143. IT'S A GOOD PARTY GAME IF YOU'RE WITH PEOPLE WHO KNOW MUSIC.

144. YOU CAN ONLY SPEAK IN SONG TITLES,

145. AND I'LL BUZZ IF ONE OF YOU GO WRONG.

146. IT'S NOT PHRASES FROM THE SONGS — IT'S TITLES.

147. AND IF SOMEONE MAKES A MISTAKE,

148. THE OTHER PERSON TAKES THEIR PLACE.

149. THE THEME IS, YOU'RE IN THE ARMY.

150. SONG TITLES ONLY.

151. YOU'RE IN THE ARMY NOW!

152. HELLO?

153. WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT?

154. I AM WOMAN.

155. GET DOWN TONIGHT!

156. 25 OR 6 TO 4!

157. BYE BYE BYE!

158. AHH!

159. MICHELLE.

160. Y-YES?

161. SERGEANT PEPPER.

162. OHH!

163. MEAN MR. MUSTARD.

164. OOPS. I DID IT AGAIN.

165. HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN.

166. UHH! DOOKIE.

167. YOU OUGHTA KNOW.

168. PRIVATE DANCER!

169. DIMDI LIBIYI!

170. NICE TRY.

171. FREE, BIRD.

172. SAY GOODBYE.

173. SAY, SAY, SAY.

174. EBONY AND IVORY!

175. TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT.

176. ROUTE 66.

177. NORTH TO ALASKA.

178. WESTWARD, HO.

179. O CANADA!

180. GET DOWN.

181. GET DOWN ON IT?

182. 1,000 POINTS FOR EVERY OF YOU. THAT WAS A HARD GAME.

183. 1,000 POINTS APIECE.

184. HEY, THAT'LL SPICE UP YOUR BORING PARTY

185. WHEN YOU HAVE NO BOOZE OR CHICKS SITTING AROUND.

186. LET'S GO TO ON TO A GAME —

187. MY FAVORITE GAME, JUST ABOUT — CALLED "SCENES FROM A HAT."

188. BEFORE THE SHOW, WE ASKED THE AUDIENCE

189. TO WRITE DOWN SUGGESTIONS FOR THINGS,

190. AND ONE OF THE THINGS

191. IS SCENES THEY'D LIKE TO SEE US PULL OUT OF THE HAT

192. SO THESE GUYS CAN ACT OUT.

193. WE'LL PULL OUT AS MANY AS WE CAN

194. AND LET THESE GUYS ACT THEM OUT.

195. FIRST ONE IS, "WHEN CARTOON CHARACTERS GO ON DATES."

196. HEAVENS TO MURGATROYD!

197. YOU'RE SEXY — BEAUTIFUL, EVEN!

198. BUT IT —

199. I'M VERY UNINHIBITED IN BED.

200. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

201. WELL, HEY THERE, LADY!

202. YOU WANNA TAKE A LOOK AT MY PIC-A-NIC BASKET?

203. I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE.

204. I SAY, YOU ALMOST LOST HIM!

205. OHH!

206. OHH!

207. "FIRST DRAFTS OF FAMOUS MOVIE LINES."

208. "FRANKLY, SCARLETT...

209. I DON'T GIVE A LAMB."

210. MISS SCARLETT, I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'

211. ABOUT BIRTHIN' NO TELETUBBIES.

212. GO AHEAD...

213. MAKE A CAKE.

214. I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE MINUTES.

215. I HAVE SOME THINGS I HAVE TO DO, AND THEN I'LL COME ON BACK.

216. FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK TOAD. FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK TOAD.

217. FREDZILLA! FREDZILLA!

218. FREDZILLA.

219. LUKE, I'M YOUR SECOND UNCLE TWICE REMOVED.

220. "WORLD'S WORST PERSON TO BE STUCK WITH AT A PARTY."

221. FREDZILLA!

222. "TRIVIAL REASONS TO HOLD NEWS CONFERENCES."

223. "TRIVIAL REASONS TO HOLD NEWS CONFERENCES."

224. I'VE ASKED YOU ALL HERE TO ANNOUNCE THIS NEWS CONFERENCE.

225. UM, I'M HERE TO REPORT THAT, UH...

226. JIMMY IS LONGER CRACKING CORN, AND I DO CARE.

227. GOT A NEW PODIUM!

228. I WOULD NOW LIKE TO ANNOUNCE UPN's FALL SEASON.

229. ALL RIGHT...

230. "COLOR COMMENTATORS ON THEIR DAY OFF."

231. HONEY, THE DINNER WAS GREAT,

232. BUT LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT YOU DID WRONG.

233. RIGHT HERE, YOU SHOULD HAVE COME AROUND THE COUNTER

234. AND TAKEN THE MASHED POTATOES AND THEN —

235. WELL, THAT WAS GREAT, GREAT SEX.

236. LET'S TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THAT.

237. GET OUT YOUR PENS, EVERYBODY.

238. IT'S "THINGS YOU CAN SAY TO YOUR DOG, BUT NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND."

239. WHAT DID YOU JUST DO? WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?

240. AM I GONNA HAVE TO RUB YOUR NOSE IN THAT?

241. COME.

242. I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A BATH AND THEN A NICE BONE.

243. GRAB THE BALL! GRAB THE BALL!

244. GRAB THE BALL!

245. GET OFF THE MAILMAN! GET OFF THE MAILMAN!

246. "OTHER THINGS DOROTHY AND HER FRIENDS ASKED THE WIZARD FOR."

247. I'D RATHER DRIVE THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD.

248. YOU WOULDN'T KNOW OF A RENTAL-CAR PLACE AROUND?

249. OOH, MR. WIZARD, I WOULD LOVE SOME HAIR FOR MY FRIEND.

250. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

251. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" AFTER THIS.

252. HEY! WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

253. TONIGHT'S WINNER — WAYNE BRADY!

254. FIX! FIX!

255. THE REST OF US ARE GONNA DO A HOEDOWN

256. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL ON THE PIANO.

257. AND WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS A SUGGESTION

258. OF SOMETHING EMBARRASSING THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP SECRET.

259. BODY ODOR!

260. LET'S DO THE BODY-ODOR HOEDOWN.

261. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

262. I'M SORRY FOR THE PEOPLE SITTING NEXT TO YOU.

263. THE BODY-ODOR HOEDOWN. TAKE IT AWAY, LAURA HALL.

264. WHOO!

265. EVERYBODY MIGHT WANT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM FOR A WHILE,

266. COME BACK IN.

267. I'M PHASED OUT. I CAN'T

268. I GOT ONE.

269. COME OVER HERE. STAND BEHIND ME AND SING IT.

270. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" AFTER THIS.

271. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

272. WE'RE GONNA HAVE RYAN AND COLIN READ THE CREDITS.

273. I WANT YOU TO READ THE CREDITS AS TWO GUYS JOINED AT THE BUTT.

274. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. THANKS FOR WATCHING.

275. DAN PATTERSON, DREW CAREY.

276. JIMMY MULVILLE IS THE GUY —

277. CAN YOU TURN A LITTLE MORE SO I CAN SEE THIS?

278. SORRY, GO AHEAD.

279. PRODUCER IS DANNY BREEN. HOSTED BY DREW CAREY.

280. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

281. KIM KILLINGSWORTH IS OUR UNFORTUNATE —

282. OH, COME ON! IT'S THE BEST PART OF NY ACT!

283. OHH! OHH!

284. OW! OW!

285. BUTT! BUTT! BUTT! BUTT!

286. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.