Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x18

Directed by

Emily Bett Rickards as Self • Gary Anthony Williams as Self

Guests: comedian Gary Anthony Williams and actress Emily Bett Rickards.

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!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x18 [02:32]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,

2. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW —

4. HE'S GOT A FACE ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE — WAYNE BRADY.

5. HE'S GOT A FACE YOU CAN'T HELP BUT LOVE — CHIP ESTEN.

6. HE'S GOT A FACE THE WHOLE FAMILY COULD LOVE — COLIN MOCHRIE.

7. AND, WELL, HE'S GOT A FACE — RYAN STILES.

8. AND I'M YOUR HOST — DREW CAREY. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9. HELLO.

10. HELLO.

11. HELLO, AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

12. WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

13. THE POINTS ARE LIKE THE TONIC IN A GIN AND TONIC.

14. THEY JUST DON'T MATTER.

15. LET'S GET THE SHOW STARTED

16. WITH A GAME CALLED "WEIRD NEWSCASTERS."

17. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

18. COLIN IS...

19. COLIN IS THE ANCHORMAN OF A NEWS PROGRAM.

20. CHIP, YOU'RE THE CO-ANCHOR,

21. AND YOU ARE A SINGING ITALIAN GONDOLIER...

22. WHOSE BOAT SPRINGS A LEAK.

23. WAYNE, YOU'RE DOING THE SPORTS.

24. YOU'RE AN EXCITED JAPANESE TOURIST.

25. RYAN, YOU'RE DOING THE WEATHER.

26. YOU'RE A BIGFOOT.

27. YOU'RE A BIGFOOT CAUGHT ON-CAMERA

28. AND DESPERATE TO ESCAPE BEING FILMED.

29. SO WHENEVER YOU HEAR THE MUSIC,

30. LET'S GO TO YOU FOR THE NEWS.

31. WELCOME TO THE 6:00 NEWS.

32. I'M YOUR ANCHOR, GAY APPAREL.

33. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT — 95-YEAR-OLD FRED SCAPESE

34. WAS FOUND NOT GUILTY TODAY OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

35. THE 95-YEAR-OLD, HOWEVER, WAS ARRAIGNED

36. ON CHARGES OF ASSAULT WITH A DEAD WEAPON.

37. AND NOW OVER TO OUR CO-ANCHOR GIUSEPPE TESUPPE.

38. GIUSEPPE?

39. OH, WELL.

40. AND NOW...

41. OVER TO SPORTS WITH OUR SPORTS ANCHOR,

42. YAKOMITO YAKOMITO YAKOMITO JONES.

43. KONNICHIWA!

44. OH! OH!

45. OH! DREW CAREY! DREW CAREY-SAN!

46. MIMI!

47. OHH! MOUNT HIROSHIMO!

48. THIS JUST IN — WE'RE ALL JUST PEOPLE.

49. AND NOW OVER TO OUR WEATHER MAN, TOULOUSE AROUND-THE-WAIST.

50. TOULOUSE?

51. WELL, THAT'S ALL THE NEWS THERE'S FIT TO SAY.

52. THANKS, AND JOIN US TOMORROW FOR THE 6:00 NEWS.

53. GOOD NIGHT.

54. ARE YOU ALL DONE?

55. 1,000 POINTS APIECE, AND, HEY, WHY DO THEY CALL YOU BIGFOOT?

56. I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU. YOUR SHOES ARE TOO LOUD.

57. LET'S GO ON A WHIM — NO POINTS.

58. NOW LET'S GO TO A GAME CALLED "TITLE SEQUENCE."

59. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU,

60. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR —

61. LAURA HALL ON PIANO, LINDA TAYLOR ON KEYBOARD.

62. NOW, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IS,

63. WAYNE AND CHIP ARE GONNA SING

64. THE TITLE SONG TO A MADE-UP TV SITCOM,

65. AND RYAN AND COLIN ARE GONNA ACT OUT THE OPENING SEQUENCE,

66. LIKE THEY DID ON "THREE'S COMPANY,"

67. SO WHAT I NEED FROM YOU GUYS —

68. THE NAME OF A SITCOM ABOUT TWO UNLIKELY ROOMMATES.

69. BEA ARTHUR AND BRAD PITT.

70. BEA ARTHUR AND BRAD PITT.

71. "THE BEA ARTHUR AND BRAD PITT SHOW."

72. I'D PAY TOP DOLLAR TO SEE THAT.

73. SO, LET'S HEAR THE NEW SITCOM SONG

74. ABOUT "THE BEA ARTHUR AND BRAD PITT SHOW."

75. COMING TO ABC THIS FALL — BEA AND BRAD.

76. "BEA AND 'P'" — COMING THIS FALL.

77. YOU KNOW WHAT I DIDN'T GET?

78. WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS BRAD PITT AND WHICH ONE WAS BEA ARTHUR.

79. I WAS ALL MIXED UP.

80. I COULDN'T —

81. OH, WELL, 1,000 POINTS ANYWAY FOR EVERYBODY FOR TRYING.

82. THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY.

83. DO YOUR BEA FACE AGAIN AND SHOW HIM.

84. NOW WATCH — I'LL DO MY BRAD FACE.

85. LET ME SEE YOUR BEA ARTHUR FACE ONE MORE TIME.

86. ARTHUR...

87. FRANKLY, MY DEAR, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

88. IT IS CLARK GABLE.

89. IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR CLARK GABLE FACE.

90. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "SCENES FROM A HAT."

91. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

92. CHIP AND WAYNE, AND RYAN AND COLIN, GO TO YOUR PLACES.

93. WE HAVE THE AUDIENCE WRITE DIFFERENT SUGGESTIONS DOWN.

94. WE HAVE THEM WRITE DOWN

95. SCENES THEY'D LIKE TO HAVE OUR PERFORMERS ACT OUT,

96. AND I'M GONNA READ THEM OUT

97. AND SEE HOW MANY THEY CAN PERFORM FOR YOU.

98. WHAT YOUR WIFE IS SAYING RIGHT NOW.

99. I'M HAPPY HE HAS BIG FEET.

100. IS THAT RYAN OR BRAD PITT?

101. CAN THAT MAN MAKE LOVE.

102. I LOVE MY HUSBAND — WAYNE BRADY.

103. AWW.

104. I'M NOT DONE THROWING UP YET.

105. I LOVE HER HUSBAND — WAYNE BRADY.

106. ALL RIGHT...

107. BOY SCOUT BADGES WE'VE NEVER HEARD OF.

108. TABLE DANCING.

109. ANIMAL GYNECOLOGY.

110. DIET BOOKS THAT DIDN'T EXACTLY FLY OFF THE SHELVES.

111. "LOSE WEIGHT" BY DREW CAREY.

112. "EAT YOURSELF SMART" BY RYAN STILES.

113. YEAH, BABY.

114. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

115. WHY DON'T YOU TWO GET A HOTEL?

116. STRANGE 900 NUMBERS.

117. HI, YOU'VE REACHED THE ANIMAL GYNECOLOGY HOT LINE.

118. I LOVE WAYNE BRADY.

119. HELLO? I LOVE WAYNE BRADY.

120. SO, YOU NEED MORE BALD JOKES,

121. DREW CAREY?

122. HERE ARE SOME MORE BALD JOKES FOR YOU, DREW CAREY.

123. THANKS, CHROME DOME.

124. THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY.

125. BAD RACEHORSE NAMES TO CALL IN A RACE.

126. COME ON, NO LEGS! COME ON!

127. GO, GONNA BE GLUE! GO, GONNA BE GLUE!

128. AND IT'S NOSE BY A NOSE,

129. AND COMING UP ON THE OUTSIDE IS COMING UP ON THE OUTSIDE,

130. AND NOSE ON THE NOSE —

131. I GOT $500 ON ASS-BACKWARDS! YES!

132. WE'RE GONNA GO TO COMMERCIAL RIGHT NOW.

133. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

134. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

135. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

136. BY THE WAY, HERE'S THE RESULTS OF OUR WEB POLL —

137. 37% SAID, "RYAN," 42% SAID, "WITH CREAM CHEESE,"

138. AND 21% SAID, "RYAN WITH CREAM CHEESE."

139. AND NOW LET'S GO TO A GAME CALLED "IMPROBABLE MISSION."

140. THIS IS FOR COLIN AND RYAN,

141. AND WAYNE IS GONNA HELP OUT.

142. COLIN AND RYAN ARE SECRET AGENTS.

143. THEY'RE GONNA CARRY OUT AN EVERYDAY ACTIVITY,

144. AND THEIR INSTRUCTIONS WILL COME FROM WAYNE.

145. WHAT I NEED IS A MUNDANE, EVERYDAY ACTIVITY.

146. WASHING THE DISHES!

147. WASHING THE CAR.

148. WASHING THE CAR.

149. WASHING THE CAR. WASHING THE CAR.

150. START WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

151. WE GOT A 78 FROM HEADQUARTERS TODAY.

152. THIS MUST BE A TOP-SECRET MISSION.

153. THEY DON'T USE VINYL UNLESS IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.

154. OPEN IT UP.

155. FLIP IT OVER. FLIP IT.

156. HELLO, AGENTS.

157. HELLO.

158. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

159. NOT BAD. HOW ARE YOU?

160. I'M FINE, BUT SOMETIMES MY GOUT ACTS UP AND MY BACK —

161. FINE, AND NOW TIME FOR YOUR MISSION.

162. IT APPEARS THAT THE GOVERNOR OF MAMA-SAY-MAMA-SAW-MAMAPOOSA

163. IS IN DIRE NEED OF A CAR WASHING.

164. HIS 1974 DODGE DART HAS NOT BEEN DRIVEN FOR OVER 2 YEARS,

165. AND HE HAS A HOT DATE.

166. IT'S YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT,

167. TO GO, TAKE IT, WASH IT, WAX IT, BUFF IT,

168. AND GET IT LOOKING ALL UP GOOD ALL UP IN IT, YO.

169. IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT THIS MISSION,

170. IF YOU ARE CAUGHT, NEITHER YOU OR YOUR TEAMMATES —

171. THAT'S THE TWO OF YOU, THE BIG GUY AND THE BALD GUY —

172. NONE OF YOU SHALL BE ACCLAIMED,

173. BUT YOU SHALL BE DISAVOWED, AND I'LL LAUGH AT YOUR ASS.

174. THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DE—

175. STRUCT.

176. WAIT A MINUTE, WE GOT TO TAKE IT,

177. BRING IT BACK HERE, WASH IT, AND GET IT BACK?

178. THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

179. THAT'S WHY IT'S AN IMPROBABLE MISSION.

180. ARE YOU READY, MY FRIEND?

181. I'M WITH YOU, MY PAL.

182. LET'S GO!

183. WAIT, MY CAR'S IN THE SHOP.

184. HOW ARE WE GONNA GET DOWN THERE IN TIME?

185. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO USE MY JET-PROPELLED BUTT.

186. WHAT?

187. YOU HEARD ME.

188. HANG ON.

189. IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

190. THERE'S THE TOWN.

191. HEY, THAT'S AN AWFUL LONG CAR.

192. THAT'S ONE OF THOSE LYMOS.

193. LIMOS.

194. RIGHT.

195. IT'S LOCKED.

196. GOOD THING WE DON'T HAVE TO WASH THE INSIDE.

197. WAIT, THE SUNROOF'S OPEN.

198. WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

199. WE CAN GO IN THROUGH THE SUNROOF.

200. THE DOOR'S OPEN. THE DOOR'S — YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID!

201. THE DOOR'S LOCKED. WE GOT TO —

202. OH, OKAY, THANKS.

203. OH, LOOK AT IT IN HERE!

204. THIS IS NICE.

205. OKAY, LET'S CLEAN IT.

206. YEAH, BUT COME ON IN FOR A SEC. THIS IS GREAT.

207. THERE'S A HOT TUB.

208. DON'T!

209. OHH.

210. COME ON, GET OUT!

211. YOU KNOW I CAN'T GO IN THERE BECAUSE OF MY BUTT PACK!

212. OKAY.

213. I'LL GET THE HOSE.

214. NO WATER!

215. WHAT?

216. NO WATER!

217. WHAT?

218. OH!

219. NO WATER!

220. I THINK I'VE GOT AN IDEA. HOLD THIS.

221. TRY NOW.

222. YEAH.

223. ALL RIGHT, NOW...

224. WE'VE GOT NO SUDS, THOUGH.

225. WAIT, THESE PANTS WENT THROUGH THE WASH,

226. BUT THEY NEVER WENT THROUGH THE RINSE CYCLE.

227. THEY'VE PROBABLY STILL GOT SOAP IN THEM.

228. OKAY, HANG ON.

229. ALL RIGHT, SLIDE ME ALONG THE CAR.

230. IT'S WORKING! IT'S SUDSING UP!

231. GOOD, WASH IT OFF!

232. OH, NO! IT'S DRIED UP!

233. QUICK! USE YOUR...

234. EXTRA-SALIVA PILLS.

235. OKAY.

236. THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST DISGUSTING INVENTIONS

237. I'VE EVER SEEN!

238. HEY, IT'S CLEAN!

239. WE GOT TO WAX IT, GET IT ALL SPARKLING.

240. A TURTLE!

241. PUT IT ON THERE!

242. WAIT A MINUTE, THE WAX IS ON THERE, BUT WE GOT NO BUFFER!

243. WAIT A MINUTE, YOU GOT A HAIRY CHEST, DON'T YOU?

244. BOING!

245. ALL RIGHT.

246. RYAN, DO THAT "WHY, I OUGHT TO" FACE AGAIN.

247. THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.

248. BEA ARTHUR!

249. THAT'S MY BEA ARTHUR. I'M SORRY.

250. I ALWAYS GET THEM MIXED UP. UH, 1,000 POINTS FOR EVERYBODY.

251. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "THE IRISH DRINKING SONG."

252. THIS GAME IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

253. THEY'RE GONNA MAKE UP ONE LINE AT A TIME

254. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL ON THE PIANO.

255. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

256. IS A SUGGESTION OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU

257. THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP SECRET.

258. A HAIR TRANSPLANT.

259. A HAIR TRANSPLANT — OKAY, GOOD.

260. A SECRET HAIR TRANSPLANT.

261. LAURA HALL, TAKE IT AWAY WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

262. WHILE COLIN PICKS UP HIS PANTS, WE'RE GOING TO COMMERCIAL.

263. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" AFTER THIS.

264. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

265. TONIGHT'S WINNER'S — ALL THESE GUYS ARE THE WINNERS.

266. IT'S A 3-WAY TIE. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

267. THEY GET TO DO A LITTLE SOMETHING SPECIAL.

268. WE'RE GONNA DO A GAME CALLED "PROPS."

269. THESE ARE FOR RYAN AND DREW,

270. AND THIS IS FOR COLIN AND WAYNE.

271. AND, UH...

272. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME UP WITH

273. AS MANY FUNNY THINGS AS WE CAN,

274. GOING BACK AND FORTH, STARTING WITH COLIN AND WAYNE.

275. HEY, FRED...

276. THESE WHEELS AREN'T WORKING THE WAY THEY SHOULD.

277. DO YOU HAVE A TABLE FOR 'NSYNC?

278. SHH! BE VERY, VERY QUIET.

279. [ High-pitched voice ] WATCH MY NEW SHOW — "V.I.P."

280. SPARTACUS.

281. PHIL.

282. AH... AH... ACHOO!

283. OH!

284. PROTECT OUR LAND.

285. DO YOU HAVE A TABLE FOR MADONNA?

286. I AM THE KING OF SPADES.

287. I'M THE QUEEN OF HEARTS.

288. YA, MON, IT'S SO GOOD, MON.

289. AHA!

290. AAAH!

291. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" RIGHT AFTER THIS.

292. IT'S A CAR WASH.

293. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

294. TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA HAVE EVERYBODY

295. DO THE CREDITS FOR YOU.

296. I WANT ALL OF YOU TO READ THE CREDITS

297. AS PEOPLE AT A VERY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY REUNION.

298. THANKS FOR WATCHING, EVERYBODY. SEE YOU NEXT TIME.

299. GOOD NIGHT.

300. MARK LEVENSON — YOU LIKE HIM MORE THAN ME!

301. JIMMY MULVILLE, JIMMY MULVILLE...

302. I LIKE TOM PARK. HE'S —

303. DADDY!

304. I HATE THIS FAMILY! I HATE THIS FAMILY!

305. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.