Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x17

Directed by

Brett Dier as Self • Jeff Bryan Davis as Self

Guests: comedian Jeff Davis and actor Brett Dier.

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!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x17 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x17 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 4x17]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,

2. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW — SHIVER ME TIMBERS —

4. IT'S BRAD SHERWOOD!

5. ARR, MATEY! IT'S WAYNE BRADY!

6. LAND AHOY, IT'S COLIN MOCHRIE.

7. AND — MORE ALE, YOU LUSTY WENCH — RYAN STILES!

8. I'M YOUR HOST, DREW CAREY.

9. COME ON DOWN HERE. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

10. HELLO.

11. HELLO, WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

12. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

13. THAT'S RIGHT —

14. THE POINTS ARE LIKE THAT D.U.I. YOU GOT 24 YEARS AGO.

15. UH, LET'S START THE SHOW

16. WITH A GAME CALLED "WEIRD NEWSCASTERS."

17. IT'S FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

18. BRAD IS THE ANCHOR OF A NEWS PROGRAM.

19. COLIN IS THE CO-ANCHOR.

20. COLIN HAS JUST FOUND OUT HIS BOYFRIEND BRAD —

21. IS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH SOMEONE ELSE ON THE SHOW,

22. AND HE WANTS TO KNOW WHO IT IS.

23. WAYNE, YOU'RE THE SPORTS GUY.

24. YOU'RE A FARM BOY DEFENDING HIS TITLE

25. IN THE FINALS OF THE NATIONAL "GREASED-PIG ROUNDUP."

26. RYAN —

27. PLEASE DON'T SAY I'M THE GREASED PIG.

28. NO, IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF GOD'S GIFTS —

29. YOU'RE A FIRST-TIME MOTHER GOING FROM CONCEPTION TO BIRTH.

30. WHENEVER YOU HEAR THE MUSIC, TAKE IT AWAY.

31. HELLO, AND WELCOME TO THE 6:00 NEWS.

32. VETERAN BRITISH ROCKERS ROGER DALTREY, PETE TOWNSHEND,

33. AND JOHN ENTWHISTLE BROKE INTO AN ANIMAL HOSPITAL TODAY

34. AND SET FREE ALL OF THE DOBERMAN PINSCHERS.

35. THE POLICE SAID THAT THEY NOW HAVE PROOF

36. THAT THE WHO LET THE DOGS OUT.

37. AND NOW, WITH THE NATIONAL NEWS,

38. PLEASE WELCOME BARNEY SMALLPANTS.

39. BARNEY.

40. YES, WELL, SECRETS ARE OUT ALL OVER THE WORLD TODAY.

41. INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING HAS TURNED UP

42. SOME INTERESTING FACTS.

43. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

44. I CAN'T B— IS THAT LIPSTICK?

45. HMM.

46. IT'S YOU, ISN'T IT?

47. IT'S YOU!

48. HARLOT!

49. THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU'LL BE GETTING ANY FRESH HEADLINES.

50. THANK YOU FOR THAT ILLUMINATING REPORT,

51. AND A SPECIAL "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" TO OUR CUE-CARD MAN.

52. AND NOW LET'S FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN SPORTS.

53. I THINK IT'S TIME TO FIND OUT WHAT'S —

54. WHOOOOOOO!

55. SOOOO-EEEE!

56. LOOKIT HERE! I'M THE CHAMPEEN!

57. I'M GONNA DEFEND MY TITLE FOR THE FOURTH YEAR IN A ROW!

58. AIN'T ANYBODY STOPPIN' ME THIS TIME!

59. THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN ME AND THAT VICTOR-R-R-Y

60. IS THAT GREASED PIG.

61. NOW, WHERE'S THAT PIGGY-PIGGY?

62. WHERE'S THE PIGGY-PIGGY?

63. COME ON!

64. COME ON, PIGGY!

65. COME ON!

66. COME ON, I'M READY!

67. COME ON, PIGGY!

68. WHERE YOU GOIN', PIGGY? COME ON!

69. WHOO! WHOO!

70. 1, 2, 3!

71. I WIN THE BOOTY!

72. YEAH!

73. COME ON!

74. WHOOO!

75. I'M THE CHAMPEEN!

76. THAT'S SOME GOOD PIGGY!

77. WHOO!

78. I WIN!

79. BUT MAYBE LATER ON WE'LL SEE THAT I REALLY LOST.

80. THANK YOU FOR THAT ILLUMINATING REPORT, SUE McLAUGHLIN.

81. NOW —

82. BY THE WAY, YOU MIGHT HAVE LEARNED SOMETHING

83. FROM THAT LITTLE BEHAVIOR.

84. NOW, LET'S GO ON —

85. OH, YOU — WHY —

86. WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE PORK?

87. IT IS THE OTHER WHITE MEAT.

88. NOW LET'S GO ON —

89. LET'S FIND —

90. LET'S FIND OUT ABOUT THE WEATHER.

91. IT'S BEEN COLD IN HERE, WE KNOW THAT FOR SURE.

92. PLEASE WELCOME OUR WEATHERMAN, SPARKY McSPARKSPARKER.

93. WELL, THANK YOU.

94. WELL, WE'LL HAVE A SUNNY DAY TOMORROW.

95. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT IS TOMORROW?

96. LAST CALL? I DIDN'T HEAR LAST CALL!

97. SOMEONE TAKE ME HOME!

98. WELL, I DON'T USUALLY HAVE MEN OVER THIS TIME OF NIGHT.

99. OH!

100. OH, NO! OH!

101. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

102. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

103. RING.

104. WHAT? A BABY! HOW COULD I BE —

105. OH, IT'S SO WONDERF— OH!

106. OH, I'M GETTING A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT —

107. I FELT IT KICK! OH, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

108. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? YOU DID THIS TO ME!

109. OH! OW! PSHHH!

110. OH, MY WATER! MY WATER!

111. OH, MY GOD!

112. SCREW THE LAMAZE! GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL!

113. NO! NO! GET BACK IN THERE!

114. NO! NO! NO!

115. OH!

116. YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM!

117. WELL...

118. APPARENTLY BOTH OF US WEREN'T VERY FAITHFUL.

119. WELL, THAT'S ALL WE HAVE FOR THE 6:00 NEWS.

120. YOU BETTER PACK YOUR BAGS.

121. GOOD NIGHT.

122. GREAT GAME — 1,000 POINTS TO RYAN,

123. 1,000 POINTS TO COLIN, 1,000 POINTS TO BRAD,

124. AND 1,000 POINTS TO WHAT'S HIS NAME.

125. YOU KNOW, THAT GUY THAT USED TO DO THE STUFF ON —

126. YEAH, THAT GUY.

127. I'M GOING TO UPN!

128. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY, "DAMN RIGHT, YOU'RE GOING TO UPN!"

129. THAT WAS GREAT — I'LL BUY YOU A BEER AFTER THE SHOW.

130. OKAY.

131. YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY FRIEND... WAYNE BRADY.

132. NOW, LET'S MOVE ON TO THE GAME CALLED "2-LINE VOCABULARY."

133. THIS IS FOR BRAD, RYAN, AND COLIN.

134. THE IDEA OF THIS GAME

135. IS THAT A PERFORMER'S GONNA BE ACTING OUT A SCENE FOR YOU,

136. BUT RYAN AND BRAD HAVE TWO LINES EACH,

137. AND THOSE ARE THE ONLY THINGS THEY'RE ALLOWED TO SAY.

138. COLIN CAN SAY WHATEVER HE WANTS.

139. BRAD, YOUR LINES ARE "SAYS WHO?" AND "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

140. RYAN, YOUR LINES ARE "THAT CAN'T BE GOOD" AND "WHEN'S LUNCH?"

141. THE SCENE IS SUBMARINE COMMANDER CAPTAIN COLIN —

142. I'M NOT A WOMAN?

143. YEAH.

144. YOU CAN BE A WOMAN.

145. USUALLY YOU'RE THE WIFE OF THE SUBMARINE CAPTAIN,

146. BUT, UH, TODAY YOU'RE THE SUBMARINE COMMANDER.

147. COMMANDER COLIN IS QUESTIONING TWO SEAMEN, RYAN AND BRAD —

148. COME ON!

149. BECAUSE HE SUSPECTS ONE OF THEM —

150. THAT'D BE SEAMEN RYAN OR SEAMAN BRAD —

151. TEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!

152. OF BEING A SPY. TAKE IT AWAY.

153. ANY ACTIVITY HAPPENING ON THE SURFACE?

154. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

155. THE SURFACE IS THE PART OF THE AREA ABOVE THE WATER.

156. OH, THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.

157. WELL, NO, IT IS GOOD

158. BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE WE GO FOR OUR AIR.

159. SAYS WHO?

160. SAYS ME... AND WHOEVER CREATED THE WORLD.

161. LOOK —

162. WHEN'S LUNCH?

163. LUNCH ISN'T IMPORTANT.

164. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS ONE OF YOU IS A SPY.

165. THAT CAN'T BE GOOD!

166. NO, IT CAN'T BE GOOD, BECAUSE THIS MISSION IS VERY IMPORTANT,

167. AND WE CAN'T LET THE SPY GET TO THE ENEMY.

168. SAYS WHO?

169. SAYS ME AND EVERYONE WHO... WORKS WITH ME!

170. When's lunch?

171. LOOK —

172. ONCE WE FIND OUT WHO THE SPY IS, THEN WE'LL HAVE A NICE BUFFET.

173. COOK HAS SOMETHING —

174. HE'S GOT A GREASED PIG, AND IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.

175. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

176. THAT CAN'T BE GOOD!

177. IT CAN BE GOOD.

178. WHEN'S LUNCH?

179. I TOLD YOU — ONCE WE FIND OUT WHO THE SPY IS!

180. NOW, WHO WON THE WORLD SERIES?

181. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

182. IT'S A CHAMPIONSHIP GAME BETWEEN TWO BASEBALL TEAMS —

183. THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.

184. IT CAN BE GOOD!

185. WHEN IS LUNCH?

186. LOOK, I'VE HAD IT WITH THE LUNCH THING.

187. SAYS WHO?

188. LOOK —

189. OH! YOU SEE ANYTHING IN THERE?

190. THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.

191. LET ME SEE. IT'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHIPS!

192. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

193. I TOLD YOU, IT'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHIPS!

194. SAYS WHO?

195. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO TORPEDO THEM!

196. WHEN'S LUNCH?

197. LOOK, FORGET LUNCH! WE'LL TORPEDO THEM.

198. IF ONE OF YOU DOESN'T, THAT MEANS YOU'RE THE SPY

199. BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FRIENDS.

200. SAYS WHO?

201. THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.

202. THAT WOULD BE GOOD, AND SAYING ME.

203. ALL RIGHT, YOU TAKE TORPEDO BUTTON NUMBER ONE.

204. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

205. IT'S THE ONE THAT'S BESIDE TORPEDO BUTTON NUMBER TWO.

206. SAYS WHO?

207. SAYS ME!

208. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BUTTON?

209. THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.

210. NO, IT CAN'T BE GOOD!

211. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BUTTON?

212. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

213. THAT'S AN ORANGE, AND LUNCH ISN'T HAPPENING YET!

214. SAYS WHO?

215. SAYS ME!

216. GET THAT BUTTON!

217. ALL RIGHT, 20 DEGREES... THAT WAY.

218. SAYS WHO?

219. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

220. THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.

221. NO, IT CAN'T BE GOOD!

222. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

223. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

224. RIGHT AFTER THIS.

225. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

226. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

227. BY THE WAY, I WANT TO GIVE A CHANCE TO PLUG RYAN'S NEW SHOW.

228. IT'S A CROSS BETWEEN "WHAT'S HAPPENING!"

229. "HANGIN' WITH MR. COOPER,"

230. "OUTER LIMITS,"

231. AND "THE PJs."

232. IT'S CALLED "WHAT'S THAT HANGING OUT OF YOUR PJs?"

233. WATCH FOR IT.

234. LET'S KEEP THE SHOW GOING WITH A GAME CALLED "QUICK CHANGE."

235. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

236. BRAD, RYAN, AND COLIN ARE GONNA ACT OUT A SCENE,

237. BUT WHENEVER WAYNE INTERRUPTS BY SAYING "CHANGE,"

238. THEY MUST RAPIDLY CHANGE WHAT THEY HAVE JUST SAID.

239. THE SCENE IS OUTLAW BRAD IS GIVING MISS KITTY — COLIN —

240. I KNOW — EVERY TIME.

241. A HARD TIME IN THE SALOON

242. WHEN SHERIFF RYAN ENTERS TO SORT THINGS OUT.

243. I SAID I WANTED A DOUBLE WHISKEY!

244. I THINK YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH. I'M A VERY STRONG WOMAN.

245. CHANGE.

246. I'M AN ORANGUTAN IN A DRESS.

247. CHANGE.

248. I COULD BEAT YOU SENSELESS WITH ONE FINGERNAIL.

249. DANCE!

250. I'M A VERY STRONG WOMAN.

251. I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING A MAN SAYS.

252. CHANGE.

253. SQUEAKY.

254. CHANGE.

255. DING-DONG.

256. CHANGE.

257. THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE, MARSHAL.

258. THIS MAN HAS BEEN CAUSING TROUBLE.

259. I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE TOWN.

260. I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE TOWN 'CAUSE YOU DON'T SCARE ME.

261. CHANGE.

262. WHICH WAY'S OUT OF TOWN?

263. YOU PASSED IT ON THE WAY IN, RIGHT PAST THE O.K. CORRAL.

264. OKAY.

265. BUT BEFORE I GO, I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU FULL OF LEAD.

266. CHANGE.

267. BEFORE I GO, I'M GONNA SPANK YOU WITH MY PADDLE.

268. CHANGE.

269. BEFORE I GO, I'M GONNA RIDE YOU LIKE A GREASED PIG!

270. SOOO-EEE!

271. HEY!

272. THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US!

273. WHAT ARE YOU STOPPING HIM FOR?

274. MARSHAL!

275. SORRY.

276. FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, YOU'RE HERE TO UPHOLD THE LAW!

277. I GOT CARRIED AWAY.

278. YOU SEE THIS BADGE? THAT MEANS I'M THE SHERIFF.

279. CHANGE.

280. YOU SEE THIS THONG?

281. CHANGE.

282. YOU SEE THESE SANDALS?

283. THAT MEANS SOMEONE STOLE MY BOOTS.

284. I STOLED YOUR BOOTS... AND YOUR HORSE.

285. ALL RIGHT, THEN I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR US

286. TO TAKE FIVE STEPS BACKWARDS AND DRAW OUR GUNS.

287. CHANGE.

288. THEN I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR US

289. TO WALK RIGHT UP THERE AND RIVERDANCE.

290. BE CAREFUL!

291. BE CAREFUL, MARSHAL!

292. HE'S A CHAMPION RIVERDANCER FROM OUT EAST!

293. OH!

294. OH!

295. CHANGE.

296. DOHHHH!

297. CHANGE.

298. OHH-AH!

299. IT'S ALL RIGHT! STAND BACK, I'M A PART-TIME DOCTOR.

300. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR RIVERDANCING IN A THONG!

301. 1,000 POINTS FOR WAYNE BRADY,

302. WHO DID THE REAL WORK IN THAT SCENE.

303. HE JUST HANDED ME SOME MONEY WHILE HE WAS SITTING HERE.

304. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "SCENES FROM A HAT."

305. NOW, WHAT HAPPENS IS BEFORE THE SHOW,

306. WE ASKED THE AUDIENCE TO WRITE DOWN SUGGESTIONS

307. FOR THINGS THEY'D LIKE TO SEE PULLED FROM THE HAT,

308. AND WE SEE HOW MANY THESE GUYS CAN ACT OUT,

309. STARTING WITH...

310. LATIN AMERICAN SOCCER ANNOUNCERS ON THEIR DAY OFF.

311. I'LL HAVE A CHEESEBURGER, SOME FRIES,

312. AND A CO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-KE!

313. YOU FORGOT MY CO-O-O-O-O-O-KE!

314. WHERE THE HELL'S MY CO-O-O-O-O-O-O-KE?

315. ALL RIGHT...

316. WEIRD THINGS —

317. WEIRD THINGS FOR PEOPLE TO FIND BEAUTIFUL.

318. GOODBYE, BEAUTIFUL. FLUSH.

319. WEIRD THINGS FOR YOUR GRANDMOTHER

320. TO GIVE YOU FOR CHRISTMAS.

321. GUESS WHAT'S INSIDE THE BOX.

322. IT'S GRANDPA.

323. WHAT POLITICIANS' WIVES ARE REALLY THINKING

324. AS THEY SMILE AND WAVE FROM THE PODIUM.

325. WHO'S THAT GIRL UNDER THE PODIUM?

326. IT'S SO GOOD TO BE THE PRESIDENT.

327. IF I WAS HIS WIFE, I'D BE TIPPER BUSH.

328. I SURE HOPE MY HUSBAND LICKS TONIGHT.

329. IT'S AN ELECTION THING!

330. IT'S AN ELECTION THING!

331. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK FOR MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

332. DON'T GO AWAY!

333. THANKS FOR WATCHING.

334. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

335. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

336. THAT'S RIGHT —

337. THE POINTS ARE LIKE A PEP TALK TO THE CLEVELAND BROWNS.

338. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED — OH, I LOVE THIS GAME —

339. "IRISH DRINKING SONG."

340. NOW, UH, SOMEBODY IN THE FAR SECTION OVER THERE,

341. GIVE ME A MAJOR LIFE EVENT.

342. GRADUATION.

343. BIKINI WAX.

344. WEDDING.

345. GRADUATION.

346. BIKINI WAX.

347. BIKINI WAX — NOT A MAJOR DAY EVENT.

348. NOT A MAJOR EVENT IN YOUR DAY, A MAJOR EVENT IN YOUR LIFE.

349. OH, I HAD BREAKFAST, THEN I GOT MY BIKINI WAXED —

350. THAT TOOK AN HOUR.

351. OKAY, IT'S THE GRADUATION IRISH DRINKING SONG.

352. THEY'RE GONNA MAKE UP A SONG FOR YOU WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL

353. ONE LINE AT A TIME. IT'S REALLY AMAZING.

354. TAKE IT AWAY, GUYS, WITH THE GRADUATION IRISH DRINKING SONG.

355. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, FIND OUT WHO THE WINNER IS.

356. DON'T GO AWAY!

357. HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

358. TONIGHT'S WINNERS — EVERYBODY'S GONNA END THE SHOW

359. FOR YOU TONIGHT, READING THE CREDITS.

360. WAYNE AND BRAD, YOU ARE CONTESTANTS

361. IN THE GREASED-PIG-CATCHING CONTEST.

362. RYAN AND COLIN ARE THE PIGS.

363. THANKS FOR WATCHING, EVERYBODY. GOOD NIGHT.

364. HE-E-E-E-RE! SOOOO-EEEEE!

365. SOOOO-EEEEE!

366. CLUNK!

367. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.