Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x8

Directed by

Vernon Davis as Self • Keegan-Michael Key as Self

San Francisco 49er Vernon Davis; guest comedian Keegan-Michael Key.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x8 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x8 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x8]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,

2. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW — SOMETHING SMELLS LIKE WAYNE BRADY.

4. MMM. WHAT'S COOKING? KATHY GREENWOOD.

5. WELL, IF IT'S THURSDAY, IT MUST BE COLIN MOCHRIE.

6. AND BETTER OPEN A WINDOW — I'M MAKING RYAN STILES,

7. AND I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

8. COME ON DOWN. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9. OH, HELLO — HELLO, EVERYBODY,

10. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

11. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

12. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER. THAT'S RIGHT.

13. THE POINTS ARE JUST LIKE THE BRUNETTE FROM ABBA.

14. OUR PERFORMERS ARE GOING TO MAKE UP EVERYTHING YOU SEE

15. OFF THE TOP OF THEIR HEADS.

16. THEN I GIVE THEM THESE FAKEY POINTS,

17. AND THEN WE PICK A WINNER AT THE END OF THE SHOW,

18. AND THE WINNER

19. GETS TO DO A LITTLE SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ME,

20. AND LOOKING AT TONIGHT'S CAST

21. I'D HAVE TO SAY

22. BRACE YOURSELF, KATHY GREENWOOD.

23. WE'RE GOING TO START WITH A GAME CALLED

24. "FILM, TV, AND THEATER STYLES."

25. THIS IS FOR RYAN, COLIN, AND KATHY.

26. THEY'RE GOING TO DO A SCENE FOR YOU,

27. BUT I'M GOING TO MAKE THEM USE

28. DIFFERENT STYLES OF TELEVISION,

29. STYLES OF THEATER, OR STYLES OF FILM

30. THAT I'M GOING TO GET FROM THE AUDIENCE RIGHT NOW.

31. "JEOPARDY!", MELODRAMA, "SESAME STREET"...

32. DOCUMENTARY!

33. DOCUMENTARY!

34. DOCUMENTARY — DOCUMENTARY,

35. "INDIANA JONES,"

36. "CROC HUNTER," KABUKI, "BRADY."

37. SPANISH SOCCER TELECAST.

38. SPANISH SOCCER. ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH.

39. OKAY, LET'S GET AT IT, AND THE SCENE IS —

40. OH, IT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE

41. OF THIS CARD I WAS WRITING ON.

42. I LOST THE CARD.

43. THE SCENE IS COLIN IS A MAD SCIENTIST —

44. NOT ANGRY — MAD, CRAZY —

45. UH, WHO COMES HOME TO FIND HIS WIFE KATHY

46. IN BED WITH RYAN WHO IS HIS LATEST CREATION.

47. SHOULD I —

48. YOU GUYS START — RIGHT —

49. START OUT NORMALLY,

50. AND I'LL THROW IN THE STYLES WHEN IT GETS STARTED.

51. OH, I HOPE I DIDN'T DISAPPOINT YOU.

52. ARE YOU KIDDING? WHY, IT'S SUPERHUMAN.

53. THANK YOU.

54. WHAT THE — OH, MY — I CAN'T —

55. WHAT — HEY!

56. YOU'RE HOME A LITTLE BIT EARLY. I DIDN'T —

57. "BRADY BUNCH."

58. DIDN'T EXPECT YOU.

59. MILK AND COOKIES?

60. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS

61. BEFORE MY BIG DATE WITH DAVY JONES.

62. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

63. MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA!

64. HEY —

65. "INDIANA JONES."

66. LOOK, I ONLY HAVE THE ONE GIANT BALL.

67. LOOK...

68. LOOK...

69. JUST HAVE A DRINK AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT.

70. I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU ESPECIALLY.

71. OH, ARE YOU?

72. ONE GIANT BALL FROM YOU IS NOT ENOUGH. I'M SORRY.

73. AND COULD YOU GET —

74. SPANISH SOCCER TELECAST.

75. LOOK...

76. I SLEPT WITH YOUR WIFE — I SLEPT WITH HER TWO TIMES,

77. AND IT WAS GOOOOOD!

78. "CROCODILE HUNTER."

79. DON'T GET TOO CLOSE TO HIM.

80. HE'S DANGEROUS.

81. WHAT? WHY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

82. HE'S — HE'S EXCITING, HE'S — HE'S SO STRONG,

83. AND HE'S — OH, MY —

84. DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.

85. SHE IS ONE GREAT WOMAN. DON'T GET TOO CLOSE TO HER.

86. HER TEETH ARE LONG AND CAN BITE YOU.

87. WATCH THIS. AS I APPROACH HER SLOWLY —

88. STOP IT!

89. MELODRAMA.

90. AND WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT?

91. JUST LIE DOWN ON THE RAILROAD TRACKS,

92. MY DEAR.

93. "JEOPARDY!"

94. HOW ARE YOU GOING

95. TO GET OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT?

96. WHAT IS A BIGGER GUN?

97. YEAH!

98. YEAH!

99. THAT WAS JUST GREAT. 1,000 POINTS TO WAYNE.

100. HEY, WAYNE.

101. WHASSUP?

102. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "SONG STYLES."

103. THIS IS FOR WAYNE,

104. WITH LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR.

105. RIGHT UP THESE STAIRS.

106. LOOKING FOR YOU, SIR, IN THE BLUE SHIRT.

107. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

108. CYRUS.

109. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

110. UH, I'M RETIRED.

111. FROM WHAT?

112. FROM LOTS OF THINGS.

113. CYRUS IS RETIRED FROM LOTS OF THINGS.

114. WHAT FAVORITE JOB DID YOU HAVE? ANY FAVORITE JOB?

115. THE MERCHANT MARINES, I GUESS.

116. COME ON DOWN HERE, CYRUS.

117. YOU WANT TO HAVE WAYNE SING A SONG TO YOU?

118. RIGHT DOWN THESE STAIRS HERE.

119. OH, YOU KNOW THE STUFF YOU USED TO DO

120. FOR THE MERCHANT MARINES?

121. GO RIGHT UP THERE.

122. ALL RIGHTY.

123. WAYNE, YOU'RE GOING TO SING A SONG TO CYRUS

124. WHO IS RETIRED FROM A LOT OF THINGS.

125. HE USED TO BE A MERCHANT MARINE, THOUGH,

126. AND YOU'LL BE SINGING TO HIM

127. IN THE STYLE OF MAE WEST.

128. MAE WEST SINGING TO A GUY

129. IN AN OLD-TIME WESTERN SALOON.

130. SURE THING.

131. MAE WEST.

132. HEY, THERE, BIG BOY.

133. BELLE.

134. YEAH!

135. YEAH!

136. LET'S HEAR IT FOR CYRUS!

137. HOW ABOUT A HAND FOR CYRUS, EVERYBODY?

138. THANKS, MAN.

139. THAT WAS GREAT, MAN.

140. IS THAT YOUR FAMILY UP THERE WITH YOU?

141. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET HIM FORGET THIS.

142. REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WENT TO THAT HOLLYWOOD —

143. YES —

144. YES, I REMEMBER.

145. OKAY, LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "NARRATE."

146. THIS IS FOR COLIN AND RYAN.

147. THEY'RE GOING TO ACT OUT A FILM NOIR SCENE.

148. THEY'RE GOING TO NARRATE FOR EACH OTHER.

149. WHAT WE'D LIKE FROM THE AUDIENCE

150. IS AN UNLIKELY PLACE FOR A FILM NOIR SCENE.

151. GOT IT. OPERATING ROOM.

152. SO, UH, YOU'RE ACTING OUT YOUR FILM NOIR SCENE.

153. IT'S SET IN AN OPERATING ROOM.

154. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY — HA HA — GO AHEAD.

155. I'D BEEN LOOKING

156. FOR DR. LEE ANTONIE FOR 15 YEARS.

157. HE WAS ONE OF THE WORST PLASTIC SURGEONS

158. KNOWN TO MAN.

159. 15 PEOPLE ENDED UP WITH NOSES ON THE BACK OF THEIR HEADS

160. AND EARS IN PLACES

161. THAT MADE IT HARD FOR THEM TO LISTEN.

162. THIS WAS A MAN

163. WHO ESCAPED JUSTICE FOR TOO LONG.

164. IT WAS MY JOB TO BRING HIM IN.

165. HI, I'M HERE TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR OPERATION.

166. I'M NOT UNDERCOVER OR ANYTHING.

167. REALLY?

168. YOU MUST BE THE NEW GUY.

169. YEAH.

170. I WASN'T EXPECTING A NEW GUY.

171. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I OPERATED BY MYSELF,

172. BUT I THOUGHT I'D TEST HIM OUT —

173. SEE IF HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.

174. SCALPEL.

175. THAT'S THE POINTY THING, RIGHT?

176. I'D MADE MY FIRST MISTAKE,

177. BUT, LUCKILY, I WAS A QUICK THINKER

178. AND I KNEW HOW TO COVER.

179. JUST KIDDING.

180. I NOW KNEW HE WASN'T WHO HE SAID HE WAS.

181. WHEN HANDING A SCALPEL,

182. YOU NEVER DO IT POINTY END FIRST.

183. COULD YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?

184. SURE. WHAT ARE YOU OPERATING ON?

185. IT'S A NOSE.

186. SURE, HE SEEMED TO KNOW ALL THE JARGON,

187. BUT I DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY

188. HE WAS STARTING TO SLICE IT OFF.

189. TO ME, A NOSE IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE

190. ON THE FRONT OF YOUR FACE —

191. MAKES IT EASIER TO SMELL.

192. I'M JUST A PRIVATE DICK, BUT I KNOW THESE THINGS.

193. ALL RIGHT, ANTONIE, THE GAME IS UP.

194. I KNOW YOU'RE REARRANGING PEOPLE'S FACES

195. BECAUSE YOU WANT TO LOOK BETTER.

196. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT,

197. BUT I WENT ALONG WITH HIM.

198. YEAH, SURE.

199. I FOUND THIS PLAN IN YOUR DESK DRAWER.

200. WERE YOU GOING TO REARRANGE THE FACES

201. OF EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD

202. SO YOU WILL BE THE BEST LOOKING PERSON IN THE WORLD?

203. AND THEN IT SORT OF DRIBBLED OFF AFTER THAT.

204. I WAS BLUFFING.

205. I COULD TELL BY LOOKING AT HIM,

206. I HAD ALREADY WORKED ON HIM.

207. THANK YOU.

208. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL

209. WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

210. DON'T GO AWAY.

211. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

212. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

213. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

214. AND, HEY,

215. IF YOU WANT A TRANSCRIPT OF TONIGHT'S SHOW,

216. YOU SHOULD'VE HIRED A STENOGRAPHER.

217. OKAY, OUR NEXT GAME IS CALLED "NEWS FLASH."

218. THIS IS FOR RYAN, KATHY, AND COLIN.

219. RYAN AND KATHY

220. YOU'RE GOING TO BE TWO ANCHORS IN A STUDIO —

221. TWO NEWS ANCHORS.

222. I THOUGHT YOU MEANT, LIKE, ANCHORS.

223. NO. COLIN IS COVERING A BREAKING NEWS STORY.

224. HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S BEHIND HIM

225. 'CAUSE WHEN HE TURNS AROUND

226. ALL HE CAN SEE IS A GREEN SCREEN.

227. IT'S LIKE THE THINGS YOUR WEATHERMEN USE.

228. ALL THE MONITORS ARE COVERED UP,

229. AND HE HAS TO GUESS WHAT'S THERE

230. WITH HIP TIPS FROM RYAN AND KATHY,

231. SO WHENEVER YOU'RE READY,

232. YOU'RE GOING TO TRY TO HELP COLIN OUT.

233. I'M TALKING, UH, TIJUANA, A BUCKET OF CHICKEN,

234. AND MAYBE SOME TEQUILA.

235. OKAY, I'M FINALLY READY TO SAY YES.

236. OH, 'RE ON THE AIR. HELLO.

237. WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN.

238. WE TAKE YOU OUT TO THE FIELD

239. WHERE WE HEAR

240. FROM AWARD-WINNING REPORTER COLIN MOCHRIE.

241. COLIN, CAN YOU HEAR US?

242. I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU

243. OVER THE COMMOTION HAPPENING BEHIND ME NOW.

244. THIS IS AMAZING.

245. IN ALL MY YEARS OF JOURNALISM,

246. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A SIGHT LIKE THIS.

247. COLIN, I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE

248. YOU'VE NEVEREEN THIS.

249. NEVER IN MY ENTIRE —

250. I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS.

251. DOESN'T IT MAKE YOUR EYES BULGE?

252. COLIN...

253. COLIN —

254. I AM IN FEAR OF MY LIFE.

255. COLIN...

256. CAN YOU KEEP US ABREAST OF WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?

257. PARDON?

258. CAN YOU KEEP US ABREAST OF WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?

259. YEAH.

260. WELL, THIS ALL STARTED

261. WITH THE NEWS THAT KATHIE LEE WAS LEAVING,

262. ANTH THIS HAVE JUST EXPLODED INTO WHAT YOU SEE HERE.

263. COLIN, ARE YOU SLACKING OFF THE JOB HERE?

264. WAS THIS REALLY

265. WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE REPORTING ON?

266. DID YOU SAY SLACKING OFF?

267. YEAH, I JUST MEAN —

268. NO, I AM HERE AND I WILL BE HERE

269. TILL THIS STORY HAS COME TO ITS END.

270. YOU KNOW —

271. I AM NOT LEAVING

272. UNTIL ALL THIS HAS CALMED DOWN

273. AND YOU GET EVERY FACT!

274. DID YOU SEE THAT?

275. COLIN,

276. IT'S — IT'S NO SECRET

277. YOU GOT A BUM DEAL ON THIS ASSIGNMENT.

278. YES.

279. BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP UP

280. WITH THE BUMP AND GRIND OF EVERYDAY BUSINESS.

281. WELL, I'M TRYING.

282. I-I'VE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE.

283. I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE!

284. IS THERE ANY END IN SIGHT?

285. OH, THERE'S MANY, MANY IN SIGHT,

286. AND, UH, EVERYBODY HERE HAS JUST HAD

287. A BIG SMILE ON THEIR FACE

288. FROM THE MINUTE I GOT HERE UNTIL THIS VERY MOMENT.

289. HOW CAN YOU NOT?

290. OKAY.

291. COLIN, UH, ANY IDEA WHERE YOU ARE?

292. WOULD I HAVE PARTIALLY NUDE WOMEN DANCING?

293. YES.

294. IT WAS AN OLD STRIP CLUB FROM THE...

295. '50s — BIG CELLULITE BUTT.

296. THAT WAS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS. WOW.

297. WHOO, MAN.

298. WELL, HEY, A POINT FOR EVERY GRANDKID OF THEIRS

299. WHO JUST SAW THAT.

300. NOW WE'RE GOING TO MOVE ON

301. TO A GAME CALLED "MOTOWN GROUP."

302. THIS IS FOR WAYNE, COLIN, AND RYAN.

303. YOU GUYS ARE GOING

304. TO BE SINGING A SONG LIKE A MOTOWN GROUP,

305. AND YOU'RE EACH GOING TO SING A VERSE OF A SONG

306. WHILE THE OTHER TWO DO BACKUP,

307. AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE HELPED

308. BY LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR.

309. NOW WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

310. IS A SUGGESTION FOR A MANLY PROFESSION.

311. NAVY SEAL, NAVY SEAL.

312. YOU'RE GOING TO DO THE SONG "DO THE NAVY SEAL."

313. TAKE IT AWAY WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

314. HERE WE GO.

315. OOPS.

316. HERE WE GO NOW. DO THIS.

317. ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO GO TO A COMMERCIAL.

318. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" RIGHT AFTER THIS.

319. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

320. HEY, TONIGHT THE WINNER IS KATHY GREENWOOD.

321. KATHY GREENWOOD IS THE WINNER TONIGHT.

322. UH, AND TO BE PUNISHED,

323. THE REST OF US ARE GOING TO DO A HOEDOWN FOR YOU.

324. OUR FAVORITE THING TO DO, RIGHT?

325. IT'S THE BEST. WE LOVE OUR HOEDOWNS.

326. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL ON THE PIANO.

327. NOW WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

328. IS A SUGGESTION OF SOMETHING THAT WOULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

329. OKAY, UH, WE'RE GOING TO DO THE LOTTERY —

330. E LOTTERY HOEDOWN.

331. UH, TAKE IT AWAY, LAURA HALL, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

332. HOEDOWN ABOUT THE LOTTERY.

333. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" —

334. MINUS RYAN STILES — RIGHT AFTER THIS.

335. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

336. TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO END THE SHOW

337. WITH SOMEONE READING THE CREDITS.

338. THAT SOMEONE IS GOING TO BE COLIN.

339. COLIN, I WANT YOU TO READ THE CREDITS

340. UNAWARE THAT THE REST OF THESE GUYS

341. ARE BEHIND YOU STRIPPING WITH TASSELS ON.

342. SEE YOU LATER.

343. THIS WAS DEVELOPED FOR TELEVISION BY DAN PATTERSON.

344. DREW CAREY, RYAN STILES ARE THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS.

345. BOY, I JUST FEEL THE HEAT FROM THE CREATIVE JUICES.

346. DREW CAREY IS THE HOST.

347. RYAN STILES, COLIN MOCHRIE, WAYNE BRADY, KATHY GREENWOOD,

348. ERIC WILKER, STEVEN BLUM.

349. I TELL YOU — YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP ABREAST

350. OF EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENING HERE TONIGHT.

351. I TELL YOU, NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.

352. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.