Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x5

Directed by

Greg Proops as Self • Scott Porter as Self

Actor Scott Porter; guest comic Greg Proops.

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!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x5 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x5 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x5]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,

2. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW — HIS BELTS NEED REPLACING — GREG PROOPS.

4. HE'S LOW ON FLUID — WAYNE BRADY.

5. HE NEEDS A TUNE-UP — COLIN MOCHRIE.

6. AND HE JUST BLEW A GASKET — RYAN STILES.

7. AND I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY. COME ON DOWN.

8. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

10. WELCOME. WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

11. WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

12. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP

13. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

14. THE POINTS ARE LIKE THE WORD "RAPID" IN "RAPID TRANSIT."

15. IT'S ALL A BIG "WHY?"

16. THESE GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE UP EVERYTHING

17. OFF THE TOP OF THEIR HEADS.

18. WE GIVE THEM THESE FAKEY POINTS AND WE PICK A FAKE WINNER.

19. THE WINNER GETS TO DO A LITTLE SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ME.

20. THE LOSER HAS TO HUNT FOR THE TAPIOCA.

21. UH, LET'S START OFF WITH A GAME CALLED "SURVIVAL SHOWS"

22. FOR ALL FOUR OF YJU.

23. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE IS A SUGGESTION

24. OF AN INDOOR WORKPLACE WHERE THERE'S A LOT OF ACTIVITY.

25. UH, POST OFFICE.

26. POST OFFICE. SO YOU GUYS

27. ARE PERFORMERS APPEARING IN A NEW REALITY PROGRAM

28. WHERE FOUR PEOPLE ARE FORCED TO SURVIVE TOGETHER.

29. HOWEVER, THEY'RE NOT ON A DESERT ISLAND.

30. THEY'RE AT THE POST OFFICE.

31. FIRST, THERE WERE 27 OF THEM.

32. NOW IT'S DOWN TO THREE.

33. THE WINNER WILL RECEIVE $400 IN FIRST-CLASS STAMPS.

34. "THE SURVIVAL SHOW" — DAY 48.

35. ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, LUNCH BREAK.

36. IT'S TIME TO SING ALL OF HELEN REDDY'S SONGS. READY?

37. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.

38. AND IT'S ALPHABETICAL. ALPHABETICAL.

39. I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING.

40. I'M NOT EATING RAT ANYMORE.

41. THERE'S 50 RESTAURANTS IN THIS GENERAL AREA.

42. WHY ARE WE EATING RAT?

43. GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, BECAUSE...

44. OH! OH!

45. NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE TRIBAL COUNCIL.

46. YOU WILL VOTE ONE MEMBER OFF.

47. THAT MEMBER WILL LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.

48. DO NOT STOP AT THE BOX.

49. DO NOT TRY TO PARK IN THE BLUE SPACE OUT IN FRONT.

50. NOW IT'S TIME TO VOTE.

51. PLEASE, LET'S NOT USE THE POSTAL SERVICE.

52. IT'LL TAKE TOO LONG. LET'S JUST CARRY ON.

53. I CHOSE COLIN BECAUSE HE MAKES ME ANGRY...

54. AND I WANT TO KILL HIM.

55. I CHOSE WAYNE.

56. I USED THIS SYSTEM

57. WHERE I PUT A NUMBER TO EACH LETTER OF HIS NAME.

58. I ADDED, MULTIPLIED BY 3,

59. AND DIVIDED BY MY MONTH AND DATE OF MY BIRTHDAY.

60. ALSO, I THINK HE WANTS TO KILL ME.

61. I VOTED FOR MYSELF.

62. I WANT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

63. WHO'S EVERYONE TALKING TO?

64. I'M AVAILABLE TO HOST "THE PRICE IS RIGHT."

65. ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN,

66. I'M GOING TO READ THE VOTES.

67. REMEMBER, WHOEVER LOSES LEAVES THE ISLAND,

68. AND YOU HAVE TO LICK THE STAMP OF DOOM.

69. RYAN — RYAN, THIS IS IN YOUR HANDWRITING.

70. COLIN...

71. WAYNE. ALL THREE OF YOU LOSE.

72. YOU MUST ALL LEAVE NOW.

73. I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS...

74. YEAH, I'M SO SORRY...

75. I DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING...

76. THAT WAS GREAT — 3 TO 4 POINTS APIECE.

77. IT'S THE SAME 3 TO 4 POINTS

78. THAT THE POLLS USE FOR THE MARGIN OF ERROR.

79. SO THEY'RE KIND OF SPECIAL.

80. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "SCENES FROM A HAT."

81. IT'S CALLED "SCENES FROM A HAT."

82. BEFORE THE SHOW WE ASK OUR AUDIENCES

83. TO WRITE DOWN SUGGESTIONS FOR THINGS.

84. WE TAKE THE BEST ONES, PUT THEM IN THIS HAT,

85. THEN I READ THEM OUT AND SEE HOW MANY

86. OUR PERFORMERS CAN DO FOR YOU.

87. STARTING WITH "WHEN IT'S UNWISE

88. TO SAY 'I DON'T CARE' TO HER."

89. AND I'LL NAME HIM "LITTLE GREG,"

90. AND HE'LL HAVE YOUR EYES AND YOUR HAIR —

91. WHATEVER.

92. YEAH, I LOVE YOU, TOO.

93. SCENES FROM WAYNE'S REAL LIFE.

94. OKAY.

95. "PEOPLE YOU WISH WOULD JUST SHUT UP."

96. "PEOPLE YOU WISH WOULD JUST SHUT UP."

97. I'M ALEX TREBEK, AND THIS IS "JEOPARDY!"

98. OH, I'M SORRY. THAT BUZZ WAS TOO LATE.

99. I'M THE REVEREND AL SHARPTON.

100. THE VERMICITUDE OF THE ANGRESSITUDE

101. OF THE INGRATIATION OF THE WHOLE ENTIRE NATION

102. MAKES FOR THE SPACIALLY DEFAULTED MULTIPLICITY

103. OF THE CONTINUOUS, CONTINUOUS MILLIMORFITY

104. SET UPON THE PROPHECIES OF THE CONGREGATION,

105. THAT I SLIPPED, THEREFORE, TO MY PEOPLE.

106. HA HA HA!

107. I'M NOT FINISHED!

108. I HAD AN IDEA FOR A SHOW —

109. FOUR WOMEN WITH DIFFERENT VIEWPOINTS —

110. MAYBE TOO DIFFERENT.

111. YES.

112. "MEN THAT WOMEN JUST DON'T SEEM TO GO FOR."

113. WHAT? WHAT?

114. "MEN THAT WOMEN JUST DON'T SEEM TO GO FOR."

115. "PICKUP LINES OF THE ELDERLY."

116. WANT TO BREAK A HIP?

117. I KEEP MY T@ETH IN A GLASS.

118. WHY DON'T YOU TOUCH YOUR TOES AND GRAB MY BREASTS?

119. I BET YOU AND ME COULD GO THROUGH A WHOLE TUBE OF BEN-GAY.

120. "THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO

121. WHEN CONFRONTED BY A STREET GANG."

122. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY EGGS

123. GO IN A REALLY GOOD BANANA BREAD RECIPE?

124. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, WAIT. DON'T — DON'T HIT ME.

125. LOOK, HERE. I'VE GOT MONEY. WAIT, THAT'S $100. THAT'S $50.

126. WAIT, WAIT. HOLD ON. OKAY. HERE'S 2 BUCKS.

127. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

128. TICKLE FIGHT.

129. "THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T JOKE ABOUT

130. WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S FATHER."

131. NO, BUT REALLY, MR. PROOPS,

132. SHE'S LIKE A BANSHEE.

133. NO. AAH!

134. SHE'S LIKE, "OW, BABY!"

135. "DIFFICULT THINGS TO SELL DOOR TO DOOR."

136. DING-DONG.

137. HI. UH, I'M A WHORE, AND I WAS WONDERING...

138. DING-DONG.

139. YES?

140. HI. WE'RE SELLING THE HOME VERSION

141. OF "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

142. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

143. RIGHT AFTER THIS.

144. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IT ANYWAY?"

145. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

146. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

147. JUST REMINDING YOU, I MAY NOT BE THE MOST DOWNLOADED,

148. BUT I'VE DOWNLOADED THE MOST.

149. LET'S KEEP THE SHOW GOING ON WITH A GAME CALLED "REUNION."

150. THIS IS FOR GREG, RYAN, AND COLIN.

151. WHAT THIS GAME IS

152. IS THESE GUYS ARE ALL AT A CELEBRATORY REUNION,

153. AND THEY SHARE A COMMON BOND

154. BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALL BEEN DRILL SERGEANTS,

155. AND THEY'LL END WITH THEIR OLD DRILL SERGEANT SONG

156. THAT THEY USED TO ALL SING TOGETHER.

157. TAKE IT AWAY WITH THE DRILL SERGEANT REUNION.

158. HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

159. HA HA HA HA.

160. OH, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

161. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

162. I AM FINE.

163. I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

164. I'M FINE!

165. GOOD ENOUGH.

166. HEY, WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

167. I'M FROM OKLAHOMA.

168. ONLY TWO THINGS COME FROM OKLAHOMA —

169. STEERS AND OTHER STEERS THAT LIKE THEM!

170. HA HA HA HA!

171. OH, BUDDY.

172. HOW YOU DOING?

173. GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

174. I'M FINE.

175. LET'S RELAX. AT EASE!

176. WHAT A GREAT REUNION, FELLAS.

177. IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

178. IT SURE HAS.

179. SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?

180. I'M SORRY?

181. WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?

182. STANDING LIKE THIS QUITE A BIT.

183. REMEMBER THAT SONG WE USED TO SING, FELLAS?

184. AH.

185. AH.

186. AH.

187. AH-UP.

188. WHY DON'T WE SING IT FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE?

189. I'M SORRY?

190. OLD TIMES' SAKE?

191. THAT WAS GREAT.

192. I'M FROM CANADA. THAT'S HOW THEY STAND.

193. PEACEKEEPERS.

194. "STOP IT!"

195. "YOU'LL NEVER GET PAST THE LITTLE TEAPOTS."

196. LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED "REUNION."

197. OH, NO, WE DID THAT.

198. JUST FOR THAT, WE'RE GOING TO DO "GREATEST HITS."

199. THIS IS FOR COLIN, RYAN, AND WAYNE.

200. LAURA AND LINDA WILL HELP OUT —

201. LAURA HALL, LINDA TAYLOR.

202. IN THIS GAME, COLIN AND RYAN ARE TV COMMERCIAL PITCHMEN

203. TALKING ABOUT THE LATEST COMPILATION ALBUM,

204. AND WAYNE IS GOING TO TRY TO SING THE SONGS

205. THAT THESE GUYS MAKE UP.

206. THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE UP TITLES,

207. AND HE HAS TO TRY TO DO THE SONGS.

208. WHAT I NEED IS A SUGGESTION OF A TYPE OF VACATION.

209. HAWAII!

210. SAFARI!

211. OKAY, FARI. YOU WERE SO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT.

212. SAFARI. SO THE ALBUM IS "SONGS OF THE SAFARI."

213. TAKE IT AWAY.

214. HI, WE'LL BE BACK TO OUR POLITICALLY CORRECT PRODUCTION

215. OF "THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE BEAUTY-IMPAIRED."

216. HEY, COL.

217. YEAH?

218. WHAT'S IT MAKE YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR THIS SOUND?

219. MY HEART AFTER A BIG MAKE-OUT SESSION.

220. NO, NO.

221. STUPID.

222. NO, NO, SAFARI, COL.

223. OH, RIGHT.

224. YEAH, WE'VE GOT ALL THE SONGS OF THE SAFARI —

225. ALL 832 OF THEM ON A 2-CD SET.

226. EACH SONG IS NOT LONGER THAN 10 OR 15 SECONDS.

227. ANYWAY, ONE OF THE BEST SONGS ON THIS

228. THAT WILL GET YOUR TOES A-TAPPIN'

229. AND YOUR NOSE A-RUNNIN'

230. IS THAT GREAT 1920s FATS WALLER TUNE...

231. OH.

232. OH, I LOVE HIM AND HIS GREAT SAFARI SONG

233. "LION NIBBLIN' ON MY TOES."

234. YES, HA HA.

235. COME ON IN.

236. AFTER ALL, THE COUNTRYSIDE'S OPEN FOR EVERYBODY —

237. MAN AND BEAST.

238. HA HA.

239. HA HA!

240. OW! THAT HURTS!

241. SOUNDS PAINFUL, BUT IN A WAY, KIND OF CUTE.

242. HA HA HA!

243. YOU KNOW...

244. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LAUGH, THEN JUST DON'T LAUGH.

245. NO, I FELT IT.

246. YOU KNOW...

247. THERE ARE SONGS ON THIS CD SET

248. FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.

249. YOU KNOW, I JUST RETURNED FROM A TRIP TO JAMAICA.

250. REGGAE ISN'T THE ONLY MUSIC THEY PLAY DOWN THERE.

251. GET OUT OF TOWN AND TAKE A BUS!

252. I WAS JUST...

253. THEY HAVE A LITTLE MUSIC STYLE DOWN THERE

254. CALLED JAMAICAN RAP,

255. AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS IN THE TIME THAT I WAS THERE

256. WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITES,

257. "ANTS, ANTS, ANTS IN MY PANTS."

258. YOU KNOW, COLIN,

259. WE MIGHT HAVE TO PUT A LABEL ON THIS CD

260. 'CAUSE I COULD HAVE SWORE I HEARD THE WORD "ANT'S HOME."

261. I THINK I DID.

262. SOMETIMES I JUST DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU.

263. YOU KNOW...

264. I HAVE MANY FAVORITE ARTISTS.

265. VAN GOGH IS ONE, BUT HE DIDN'T SING A LOT.

266. NO, COULDN'T HEAR A WORD.

267. JUST DIDN'T HAVE THE EAR FOR IT.

268. HIM AND BEETHOVEN.

269. I LOVE THAT DOG.

270. BUT YOU DIGRESS.

271. ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARTISTS OF ALL TIME

272. IS THE WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL TRACY CHAPMAN.

273. I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT.

274. YOU DID NOT.

275. I DID TOO.

276. YOU DID NOT.

277. AND, OF COURSE, HER GREAT SAFARI-RELATED SONG

278. "MAN, IT'S HOT."

279. I'M MELTING!

280. WE'RE GOING TO SEE A COMMERCIAL.

281. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

282. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

283. TONIGHT'S WINNER — GREG PROOPS.

284. GREG PROOPS IS THE WINNER.

285. THE WINNER DOES NOT GET TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ME.

286. THE LOSERS GET TO DO A GAME FOR YOU CALLED "PROPS."

287. SO IF WE COULD HAVE OUR PROPS...

288. AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO USE THESE PROPS

289. AND MAKE UP AS MANY FUNNY THINGS AS WE CAN,

290. AND, GREG, YOU'RE GOING TO BUZZ US IN BETWEEN, OKAY?

291. STARTING WITH RYAN AND I.

292. STARTING WITH ME AND RYAN?

293. I MIND THE P's. YOU TAKE CARE OF THE Q's.

294. DON'T MOVE.

295. THERE'S A "B" ON YOUR SHOULDER.

296. YES, DO YOU HAVE A TABLE FOR ELTON JOHN?

297. PUSH ME, RHETT, PUSH ME.

298. WHY, SCARLETT.

299. MAN, IT'S COLD.

300. 2, 3, 4!

301. WELCOME TO THE BIGGEST STRIP CLUB IN OZ.

302. WHOO-HOO!

303. TODAY WE BURY PAMELA SUE ANDERSON.

304. WHO'S TO BE CIRCUMCISED?

305. IT'S THE LONGEST "P" I'VE EVER HAD.

306. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" RIGHT AFTER THIS.

307. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

308. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE COLIN AND RYAN READ THE CREDITS.

309. RYAN, YOU'RE DR. FRANKENSTEIN,

310. AND YOU'RE TEACHING YOUR MONSTER COLIN TO READ.

311. WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME. BYE.

312. ALL RIGHT.

313. NO MORE CHURCH AND STEEPLE.

314. YOU CAN READ, MY CREATION.

315. READ!

316. MAH LE-VE-SUH.

317. NO, MARK LEVENSON.

318. DRUH CA-RUH.

319. QUICKER. READ QUICKER.

320. DO IT.

321. UHH!

322. UHH, UHH...

323. BRIAN MORAGA, JOHN PRITCHETT,

324. JOHN PRITCHETT, TOM CANNON, AND GEORGE SELBY.

325. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.