Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x4

Directed by

Jaime Camil as Self • Jeff Bryan Davis as Self

Actor Jaime Camil; guest comic Jeff Davis.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x4 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x4 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x4]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x4 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x4 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY, AND WELCOME

2. TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" ON TONIGHT'S SHOW —

3. HEY, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, BUD? GREG PROOPS.

4. WANT TO TAKE IT OUTSIDE? WAYNE BRADY.

5. YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? COLIN MOCHRIE.

6. AND NOT IN THE FACE — RYAN STILES.

7. AND I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

8. COME ON DOWN. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9. THANK YOU.

10. IT'S OKAY.

11. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

12. WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

13. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

14. THE POINTS ARE JUST LIKE THE CLINTON LEGACY.

15. DOESN'T MATTER.

16. THESE GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE UP EVERYTHING

17. OFF THE TOP OF THEIR HEADS,

18. AND THEN WE GIVE THEM THESE FAKEY POINTS,

19. WE PICK A WINNER,

20. AND THE WINNER GETS TO DO SOMETHING WITH ME.

21. THE LOSER GETS A BOWFLEX.

22. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE EXERCISE MACHINE.

23. OH.

24. LET'S START OUT WITH A GAME CALLED "WEIRD NEWSCASTERS."

25. GREG, YOU'RE THE ANCHOR OF A NEWS SHOW.

26. YOUR CO-ANCHOR IS COLIN.

27. COLIN, YOU'RE A FRAT BOY IN A CAR WITH YOUR BUDDIES.

28. WAYNE, YOU'RE DOING THE SPORTS.

29. YOU ARE A MISS FITNESS USA PAGEANT CONTESTANT.

30. AND, RYAN, IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP YOU STRANGE,

31. YOU ARE AN INCA HIGH PRIEST

32. WHO MUST SACRIFICE A VIRGIN.

33. AND, UH, I WANT TO REMIND YOU,

34. IF YOU COME NEAR MY DESK, I'LL KILL YOU.

35. WHENEVER YOU HEAR THE MUSIC, TAKE IT AWAY, GREG.

36. GOOD EVENING. WELCOME TO THE ACTION NEWS.

37. I'M ENORMOUSLY GIFTED.

38. AND THESE ARE THE HEADLINES —

39. ELVIS PRESLEY FOUND WORKING AT DOUG'S SNACK 'N' BOWL

40. IN DOTHAN, ALABAMA,

41. AND A TRAGIC FUDGE ACCIDENT

42. TAKES THE LIVES OF THE KEEBLER ELVES.

43. BIFF?

44. FUDGE! FUDGE! FUDGE!

45. WHOO!

46. WHOO!

47. WHOA!

48. HA HA HA HA!

49. WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!

50. HOPE WE FIND SOME WOMEN! HOPE WE FIND SOME...

51. THIS JUST IN — UNDERAGE DRINKING IS BAD.

52. AND SPKING OF BAD, AIN'T NO ONE BADDER

53. THAN OUR SPORTS PERSON WAYNE BRADY.

54. WAYNE, WHAT'S GOING ON OVER AT THE SPORTS DESK?

55. TODAY I'LL BE DELIVERING THE SPORTS,

56. BUT JUST NOT ANY SPORTS.

57. SPORTS TO EACH AND EVERY GIRL ACROSS AMERICA

58. WHO REFUSES TO SIT ON HER BUTT

59. AND WHO WANTS TO DO SOMETHING WITH HERSELF LIKE ME.

60. YOU CAN DO THIS JUST LIKE ME. IT'S OKAY. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

61. YOU CAN DO IT JUST LIKE ME. ARE YOU READY? GO!

62. WHOO! COME ON, LET'S GO!

63. WHOO! LET'S GO!

64. I FEEL IT, I FEEL IT, TO THE RIGHT, TO THE RIGHT.

65. AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME NOW. NO, YOU CAN'T STOP ME NOW.

66. NO, YOU CAN'T STOP ME NOW. UNH-UNH, I WON'T DO THAT, NO.

67. WHOO!

68. WHOO!

69. THANK YOU.

70. WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!

71. WOW, SHE'S UGLY, BUT LOOK AT THAT BODY!

72. WHOO-OO-OO-OO-OO!

73. YEAH.

74. LET'S THROW IT OVER TO THE HIGH PRIEST OF WEATHER

75. RYAN STILES.

76. RYAN, WHAT'S ON TAP?

77. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GREG.

78. FRIDAY WE HAVE RAIN MOVING IN.

79. SATURDAY, VOLCANIC ERUPTIONS THAT WILL DESTROY THE EARTH...

80. UNLESS WE MAKE A SACRIFICE TO THE GOD OF ERUPTION!

81. WE'RE GOING TO DIE!

82. WE'RE GOING TO DIE!

83. HA HA HA HA!

84. THIS JUST IN —

85. VIRGINITY ABOLISHED IN SOUTHERCALIFORNIA.

86. WHOO!

87. THAT'S BEEN THE NEWS.

88. STAY TUNED FOR "WHEN DESSERTS ATTACK"

89. AFTER THIS. GOOD NIGHT.

90. IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE CHOOSING TO DO, WAYNE,

91. WHEN YOU FIND OUT WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE —

92. JUST GRAB THE FIRST BALD GUY YOU CAN?

93. WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO BE FIT.

94. IT'S THE BILLY BLANKS "KOJAK" TAE BO DIET.

95. YEAH.

96. OH, N.

97. OH.

98. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "SOUND EFFECTS."

99. THIS IS FOR RYAN AND COLIN.

100. HI, AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

101. MARIE.

102. ANN.

103. WHY DON'T YOU COME DOWN HERE WITH ME, MARIE AND ANN?

104. IT'S A PLEASURE. THANK YOU.

105. COME RIGHT OVER TO THE SIDE RIGHT THERE.

106. HERE'S YOUR MICROPHONE. HERE'S YOUR MICROPHONE.

107. RIGHT OVER TO THE SIDE THERE,

108. RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE TELEPHONE.

109. I WANT YOU — YOU'RE GOING TO DO SOUND EFFECTS

110. FOR RYAN AND COLIN.

111. OH.

112. DURING THEIR SCENE,

113. THEY'LL PROMPT YOU BY WHAT THEY SAY,

114. AND THEN YOU DO SOUND EFFECTS FOR THEM.

115. BE AS CREATIVE AS YOU'D LIKE.

116. THE SCENE IS YOU'RE TWO FIREMEN

117. SLEEPING IN THE STATION HOUSE WHEN THE ALARM SOUNDS.

118. TAKE IT AWAY.

119. WHOA!

120. THOUGHT I HEARD AN ALARM.

121. OH! OH!

122. WAS THAT THE ALARM OR JUST A SICK BIRD?

123. I THOUGHT I HEARD ONE.

124. OH, THERE'S A BEE IN THE ALARM.

125. WE'D BETTER GET GOING.

126. WE'D BETTER FIND OUT WHERE IT IS.

127. LET ME GET ON THE PHONE.

128. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BEES?

129. FOURTH AND MAIN.

130. FOURTH AND MAIN? WE'D BETTER GET OUR STUFF ON.

131. YOURS ALL WET?

132. YEAH.

133. BETTER CLOSE THE WINDOW.

134. THERE'S A BREEZE COMING THROUGH.

135. ALL RIGHT, READY TO GO DOWN THE POLE?

136. I'M STUCK.

137. WE REALLY GOT TO WAX THESE THINGS.

138. LET'S WAX THEM DOWN.

139. READY?

140. THAT NEW SILENT WAX REALLY DOES THE JOB.

141. SURE DOES.

142. NOT ONLY DID WE HAVE FUN, THE POLES DID, TOO.

143. ALL RIGHT.

144. COME HERE, SPARKY!

145. WE NEED A BIGGER DOG.

146. GET UP THERE, BOY.

147. ALL RIGHT.

148. DAMN DUCK.

149. IS YOUR DOOR WORKING? MINE...

150. I CAN'T GET IT TO SEEM TO LOCK.

151. JAPANESE IMPORTS.

152. ALL RIGHT.

153. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

154. LET ME START UP THE ENGI.

155. IT'S DEAD!

156. WHOO!

157. WHOO!

158. THERE, THAT SHOULD START IT.

159. READY?

160. YEAH.

161. IT'S GOING TO TAKE US HOURS TO GET THERE

162. WITH THIS TINY ENGINE.

163. HANG ON.

164. HIT THE SIREN.

165. OKAY, HERE WE ARE.

166. WAIT, SOMEONE'S SCREAMING FOR HELP!

167. AAH! OH, HELP! HELP!

168. IT'S AN OLD INDIAN WOMAN.

169. QUICK, GET THE TRAMPOLINE!

170. JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!

171. HERE SHE COMES!

172. HERE SHE COMES!

173. WE SHOULD HAVE PUT SOMETHING IN THERE TO STOP HER.

174. THANK YOU.

175. THANK YOU.

176. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU.

177. THAT WAS GOOD.

178. THAT WAS GREAT,

179. AND, HEY, SEE YOU

180. AT SOCCER PRACTICE ON SATURDAY.

181. OH, MAN, THAT WAS GREAT.

182. WHOO!

183. WHOO!

184. OKAY, LET'S GO ON

185. TO A GAME CALLED "SONG STYLES."

186. THIS IS FOR WAYNE,

187. WITH LAURA HALL ON PIANO AND LINDA TAYLOR ON GUITAR.

188. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

189. IS A SUGGESTION OF AN ELECTRICAL APPLIANCE.

190. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

191. COFFEE GRINDER. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

192. THIS IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE FOR YOU,

193. AND THEN THE REST OF YOU ARE GOING TO JOIN IN.

194. YOU'RE GOING TO DO A SONG AND DANCE NUMBER

195. FROM "THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW"...

196. ABOUT A COFFEE GRINDER.

197. TAKE IT AWAY, LAURA HALL, LINDA — HAVE FUN, GUYS.

198. EVERYBODY!

199. LET'S GRIND!

200. THANK YOU.

201. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" RIGHT AFTER THIS.

202. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

203. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

204. YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD? LAST WEEK I WENT BOWLING

205. THERE WAS A NUDE BOWLING TOURNAMENT GOING ON.

206. ALL THESE NAKED PEOPLE BOWLING,

207. THEY STILL MADE THEM WEAR SHOES.

208. LET'S MOVE ON TO A GAME CALLED "NEWS FLASH."

209. THIS IS FOR GREG, RYAN, AND COLIN.

210. GREG AND RYAN ARE TWO NEWS ANCHORS,

211. AND COLIN'S GOING TO BE IN THE FIELD AS A REPORTER

212. ON A BREAKING NEWS STORY.

213. NOW, COLIN HAS TO GUESS WHAT'S BEHIND HIM

214. 'CAUSE ALL HE CAN SEE IS A GREEN SCREEN

215. LIKE WEATHERMEN SEE ON YOUR LOCAL NEWS SHOW.

216. HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE WHAT'S BEHIND HIM OR ANYTHING.

217. RYAN AND GREG ARE GOING TO TRY TO GIVE HIM HINTS.

218. SO HERE WE GO.

219. OFF TO RYAN AND GREG IN THE STUDIO.

220. WE INTERRUPT THIS VERY SPECIAL

221. 4-HOUR "DHARMA AND GREG"

222. WITH A NEWS FLASH FROM THE FIELD. RYAN?

223. WE NOW GO TO AWARD-WINNING REPORTER COLIN MOCHRIE

224. WHO IS COVERING THIS LATE-BREAKING STORY.

225. COLIN MOCHRIE, CAN YOU HEAR ME AT THE MOMENT?

226. YES, I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU.

227. COLIN...

228. AS YOU CAN SEE, IT'S JUST PANDEMONIUM.

229. COLIN, CAN YOU KEEP US ABREAST OF WHAT'S GOING ON?

230. I CERTAINLY CAN.

231. AS YOU CAN SEE, A LOT OF ACTION IS HERE,

232. BUT THERE'S SOME OVER HERE, TOO.

233. OH, REALLY?

234. RIGHT HERE.

235. THERE SEEMS TO BE A LOT OF EXCITEMENT

236. AND EXUBERANCE.

237. CAN YOU DESCRIBE YOUR FEELINGS

238. WITH WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?

239. WELL, I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH THEM.

240. HA HA HA HA!

241. CAN YOU TELL US WHAT YOU CAN —

242. CAN YOU DESCRIBE WHAT Y CAN SEE?

243. SURE. LOOK. IN A WAY, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

244. THE WORDS ESCAPE ME BECAUSE I HAVE NOT SEEN ANYTHING —

245. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS CLOSE TO THIS KIND OF ACTION EVER.

246. COLIN?

247. YES?

248. IT'S RYAN AGAIN. I WAS GONE FOR A MINUTE.

249. HOW DID THIS ALL START, COLIN?

250. OH, MY LORD.

251. IT ALL STARTED WITH A TAE BO "KOJAK" CLASS.

252. UH-HUH?

253. PEOPLE ARE SHAVING THEIR HEADS

254. AND GETTING INTO THE EXERCISE THING,

255. AND THIS HAPPENED.

256. WITH THE WEATHER AS HOT AS IT IS,

257. I WONDER, MIGHT YOU MOVE ASIDE FOR A MINUTE

258. SO WE CAN SEE WHAT'S BEHIND YOU THERE?

259. AS YOU CAN SEE...

260. I WISH I HAD MY CAMERA.

261. WE WISH YOU WEREN'T THERE.

262. PARDON?

263. WE WISH YOU WOULD MOVE.

264. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE STORIES

265. WHERE YOU'RE JUST GETTING IN THE WAY, COLIN.

266. AM I? WELL, IT'S MY JO TO BE RE.

267. I'M GOING TO STICK MY NOSE IN THERE AND MAKE SURE

268. THAT I GET EVERY BIT OF INFORMATION I CAN!

269. I AM GOING TO SNOOP AROUND

270. UNTIL I GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

271. HEY, COLIN, IT MAY BE HORRIBLE THERE,

272. AND MAYBE TWO THONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT.

273. THAT IS SO TRUE.

274. COLIN, CAN YOU TAKE ONE GIANT STEP TO YOUR LEFT

275. AND TRY TO GUESS WHERE YOU ARE?

276. THERE WE GO.

277. WHERE ARE YOU?

278. UH, SOME SEMI-NAKED WOMEN WITH BUMS?

279. THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH, YEAH.

280. NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A GAME.

281. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, THAT'S GOOD TV.

282. RIGHT ON, BROTHER.

283. SOMETHING FOR THE KIDS, GRANDMA — EVERYBODY.

284. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "IRISH DRINKING SONGS."

285. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU

286. WITH LAURA HALL ON THE PIANO.

287. THANK YOU, LAURA HALL.

288. I WANT A THEME FROM THE AUDIENCE

289. THAT'S SOMETHING YOU THINK MIGHT HAPPEN TO YOU

290. THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP SECRET.

291. VOTED FOR ROSS PEROT.

292. VOTED FOR ROSS PEROT.

293. SO WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO IS THEY'RE GOING TO DO

294. AN IRISH DRINKING SONG...

295. HA HA.

296. ONE LINE AT A TIME, SO LET'S HEAR

297. THE "VOTED FOR ROSS PEROT" IRISH DRINKING SONG.

298. LET'S GO TO A COMMERCIAL. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

299. FOR MORE "WHOSE LINE." DON'T GO AWAY.

300. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

301. TONIGHT'S WINNER — WAYNE BRADY.

302. WE'RE GOING TO DO A GAME CALLED "WORLD'S WORST."

303. WHAT'S THE WORLD'S WORST THAT WE'RE COMING UP WITH?

304. "WORLD'S WORST THINGS TO SAY OR DO

305. ON A ROMANTIC DATE."

306. "WORLD WORST THINGS TO SAY OR DO

307. ON A ROMANTIC DATE," AND I GUESS HERE WE GO.

308. I BROUGHT THE LIMES.

309. HI, MY PAROLE OFFICER SAYS I HAVE TO SHOW YOU

310. A COPY OF MY CRIMINAL RECORD

311. BEFORE WE'RE ALLOWED TO GO OUT.

312. I KNOW THIS IS ONLY OUR SECOND D—

313. I LOVE YOU! BE WITH ME!

314. YOU LOOK VERY BEAUTIFUL.

315. HEY, YOU WANT TO SEE A PICTURE OF MY PENIS?

316. HEY, WANT TO SEE A PICTURE OF DREW CAREY'S PENIS?

317. LET'SEE, YOU HAD THE BIG MAC.

318. THAT'S $2.

319. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,

320. I THOUGHT WE'D JUST SIT AT HOME HERE

321. AND WATCH "GEPPETTO."

322. WE JUST WANT TO SAY

323. WE HAD A GREAT TIME, DIDN'T WE?

324. WE SURE DID. WE HAD A GREAT TIME.

325. THANKS FOR INVITING ME UP, MELANIE, I —

326. NINTENDO?

327. SORRY I'M LATE.

328. ME AND THE WIFE JUST HAD A BIG FIGHT.

329. NICE, VERY NICE.

330. THANK YOU. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

331. WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" RIGHT AFTER THIS.

332. DON'T GO AWAY.

333. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

334. TONIGHT I WANT YOU ALL TO READ THE CREDITS

335. AS GUYS WHO ARE DESPERE FOR MONEY

336. WATCHING A HORSE RACE AT THE TRACK.

337. THANKS FOR WATCHING, EVERYBODY. BYE.

338. DAN PATTERSON? WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?

339. COME ON, GO. GO, GO, GO!

340. GO, DAN PATTERSON, GO!

341. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!

342. DREW CAREY. THAT WAS DREW CAREY.

343. COME ON! GO, GO, GO, RUN!

344. COME ON, COME ON.

345. COME ON! YOU SUCK!

346. YOU STUPID — COME ON.

347. YOU GOT YOUR FEET UP ON THE DASHBOARD.

348. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.