Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x20

Directed by

Jeff Bryan Davis as Self

Guest: Comedian Jeff Davis Games played: Scenes from a Hat, Whose Line, Forward Rewind, Newsflash, and Greatest Hits.

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!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x20 [02:32]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,

2. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW — I AM SPARTACUS — WAYNE BRADY,

4. I AM SPARTACUS — JEFF DAVIS,

5. I AM SPARTACUS — COLIN MOCHRIE,

6. AND — YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S SPARTACUS —

7. THAT'S THE GUY RIGHT THERE — RYAN STILES,

8. AND I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

9. COME ON DOWN. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

10. OH, HELLO. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

11. WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

12. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

13. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

14. THAT'S RIGHT. THE POINTS ARE LIKE A MICROPHONE

15. AT A BRITNEY SPEARS CONCERT.

16. I GOT ALL KINDS OF JOKES LIKE THAT, MAN,

17. BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ME.

18. LET'S START OFF THE SHOW WITH A GAME CALLED

19. "QUESTIONABLE IMPRESSIONS." THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

20. JEFF AND WAYNE, YOU'RE GOING TO START.

21. THEY CAN ONLY ASK EACH OTHER QUESTIONS,

22. AND THEY HAVE TO DO AN IMPRESSION AT THE SAME TIME,

23. SO IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION

24. AND THEY CAN ONLY ASK QUESTIONS.

25. IT'S A GREAT PARTY GAME IF YOU'RE EVER AT A PARTY

26. WHERE THERE'S NO BOOZE OR CHICKS.

27. WHAT I NEED FROM YOU

28. IS A PLACE WHERE THERE'S A SENSE OF URGENCY.

29. EMERGENCY ROOM!

30. KITCHEN. ALL RIGHT.

31. KITCHEN. WHEN YOU'RE COOKING SOMETHING —

32. YEAH, BEDROOM IN YOUR HOUSE.

33. UH, OKAY, GO AHEAD. "QUESTIONABLE IMPRESSIONS."

34. YOU'RE IN A KITCHEN. START WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

35. MOM, ARE YOU DONE WITH THE PIE OR WHAT?

36. ARE WE GOING TO EAT TODAY?

37. TELL ME —

38. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD TELL ME

39. WHERE ALL THE JELLO IS?

40. WHY DON'T YOU TRY LOOKING FOR YOURSELF?

41. WHY DO YOU SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT?

42. I'M GOING TO LEAVE.

43. AND JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOUNG MAN?

44. DO I LOOK LIKE A COOK?

45. HAVE YOU BEEN PUTTING A TAP ON MOMMY'S PHONE LINES AGAIN?

46. WOULD I DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

47. DO YOU WANT A HILL OF BEANS?

48. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

49. WHAT'S WITH THE SMART MOUTH?

50. CAN'T YOU SEE THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE?

51. GET OUT!

52. HAVE YOU SEEN THE COLT MALT LIQUOR?

53. DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?

54. CALM DOWN, BUDDY. WHY YOU SO MAD?

55. TRY THIS.

56. ALMOST HAD IT, ALMOST HAD IT.

57. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING FOR CRAIG T. NELSON?

58. DO YOU KNOW I WAS IN "COACH"?

59. I THINK THAT POT — OH.

60. UH, MOTHER, WHY, UH, WHY, UH —

61. I AM JEFF GOLDBLUM, OF COURSE — WHY, UH,

62. WHY IS IT THAT YOU CONTINUE TO COOK FOOD

63. THAT THE FAMILY DOESN'T LIKE,

64. AND, UH, ISN'T HEALTHY — AND ISN'T HEALTHY?

65. WHY, MOTHER?

66. I DON'T KNOW.

67. WHERE ARE THE EGGS, YOU BIG DUMMY?

68. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

69. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

70. 1,000 POINTS TO COLIN

71. FOR HIS MASTERFUL IMPRESSION OF CRAIG T. NELSON.

72. MAN.

73. THAT WAS JUST FANTASTIC.

74. I NEVER — IS HE CANADIAN — IS THAT WHY?

75. YEAH, YEAH.

76. OH, THAT EXPLAINS IT ALL.

77. NOW WE GO TO A GAME CALLED "FILM, TV, AND THEATER STYLES."

78. THIS IS FOR RYAN, COLIN, AND WAYNE.

79. YEAH, GO AHEAD AND APPLAUD. WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN...

80. THEY'RE GOING TO ACT OUT A SCENE, BUT FIRST —

81. I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE YOUR FAVORITE STYLE

82. OF TELEVISION SHOW, FILM, OR THEATER.

83. FELLINI, WESTERN,

84. SHAKESPEARE,

85. HORROR, PASSION PLAY.

86. "THE DREW CAREY SHOW"!

87. I'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

88. WOODY ALLEN.

89. I'LL PUT KUNG FU MOVIE FOR THE CHINESE MOVIE.

90. OKAY, WE GOT A LOT, SO LET'S START AS NORMAL,

91. AND THEN I'LL BUZZ IN WITH THESE STYLES LATER.

92. THE SCENE IS — RYAN AND COLIN ARE TWO FISHERMEN

93. LANDING AND GUTTING FISH ON A TRAWLER

94. WHEN WAYNE — THE CAPTAIN —

95. SPOTS THE STORM OF THE CENTURY APPROACHING.

96. YOU CAN TAKE IT AWAY WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

97. OKAY, OKAY.

98. ARGH! YOU TWO —

99. I HAVE JUST NOTICED OFF THE WEST WING...

100. WHAT, CAPTAIN?

101. I HAVEN'T BEEN A CAPTAIN VERY LONG.

102. IT APPEARS A STORM IS COMING —

103. THE STORM OF THE CENTURY.

104. SHAKESPEARE.

105. THE STORM OF A CENTURY.

106. ONCE EVERY 100 YEARS DOES IT COME.

107. IF I WERE A MAN WITH GILLS,

108. I WOULD BE A FISH.

109. OH, FOUL WIND THAT DOES BLOW

110. AND WAVES THAT DO CREST.

111. OH, SORRY.

112. FELLINI.

113. EVERY TIME — THE BOAT — IT GETS LONGER,

114. BUT MY EYESIGHT IS SHORTER.

115. I WANT A FAT PROSTITUTE.

116. HEY, DON'T WE ALL?

117. UH, WOODY ALLEN.

118. IF YOU GUYS DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE,

119. I'LL BE FORCED TO TAKE MY WIFE AND LEAVE YOU.

120. I'M CRAZY LIKE THAT.

121. HORROR MOVIE.

122. OH, MY GOD,

123. THAT WAS A HORRIBLE IMPRESSION.

124. WHAT WAS THAT?

125. NOTHING, CAPTAIN, NOTHING.

126. NO. THANK YOU FOR DOING YOUR IMPRESSIONS

127. WHILE THE STORM IS — LOOK AT THAT WAVE!

128. LOOK AT HOW DARK IT'S GETTING.

129. KUNG FU!

130. SOMEONE MUST COMBAT THE WAVE!

131. QUICK — WE'D BETTER USE OUR DRUNKEN ANTI-STYLE.

132. OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T.

133. NO, YOU BETTER GET BACK.

134. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

135. 1,000 POINTS TO WAYNE FOR HIS GREAT WOODY ALLEN.

136. THE IMPRESSIONS ABILITY ON THIS CAST IS — IT'S GREAT.

137. I THINK CRAIG T. NELSON AND WOODY ALLEN

138. OUGHT TO DO A MOVIE TOGETHER.

139. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "IRISH DRINKING SONG."

140. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU,

141. AND, UH, THEY'RE GOING TO SING FOR YOU

142. AN IRISH DRINKING SONG ONE LINE AT A TIME

143. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL ON THE PIANO — LAURA HALL.

144. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

145. IS A SUGGESTION OF SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU

146. THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO KEEP SECRET.

147. LOBOTOMY!

148. LOBOTOMY.

149. LET'S HEAR THE LOBOTOMY —

150. THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD —

151. THE LOBOTOMY IRISH DRINKING SONG.

152. TAKE IT AWAY.

153. THAT WAS GREAT. WE'LL GO SEE A COMMERCIAL.

154. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

155. WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

156. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

157. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

158. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

159. I JUST WANT TO GIVE A PLUG TO COLIN'S NEW SHOW.

160. IT'S A COMBINATION OF "SEX AND THE CITY,"

161. "CAROLINE IN THE CITY," AND "THE PRICE IS RIGHT."

162. IT'S CALLED "I'LL HAVE SEX WITH CAROLINE IN THE CITY

163. IF THE PRICE IS RIGHT."

164. IS THAT TRUE?

165. WE'RE GOING TO MOVE ON WITH A GAME CALLED "DUET."

166. THIS IS FOR JEFF AND WAYNE

167. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR

168. ON PIANO AND GUITAR.

169. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

170. JILL.

171. JILL, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

172. I SELL TICKETS AT DODGER STADIUM.

173. OKAY, SHE'S UNEMPLOYED. COME ON DOWN HERE, JILL.

174. SAY HI TO JEFF AND WAYNE. THIS IS JILL.

175. UH, THAT'S JILL.

176. CLAIMS SHE SELLS TICKETS AT DODGER STADIUM.

177. YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO SING A SONG TO HER,

178. BUT I WANT YOU TO SING IT LIKE THE RAT PACK,

179. SO WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, TAKE IT AWAY

180. WITH A RAT PACK NUMBER TO JILL THE TICKET SELLER.

181. THANK YOU.

182. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THANK YOU, JILL.

183. THANK YOU, JILL. THANK YOU. JILL, EVERYBODY.

184. THANK YOU, JILL.

185. THAT WAS ONE OF THE OUTTAKES.

186. YEAH. SUDDENLY THE SONG IS OVER.

187. HEY, THAT'S OKAY. 1,000 POINTS TO EACH OF YOU.

188. THAT WAS GREAT, AND THANK YOU, JILL.

189. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "NEWS FLASH."

190. JEFF AND RYAN ARE GOING TO BE NEWS ANCHORS IN A STUDIO.

191. COLIN IS GOING TO BE IN THE FIELD

192. AS A REPORTER COVERING A BREAKING NEWS STORY.

193. HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE STORY IS

194. OR WHAT'S BEHIND HIM

195. 'CAUSE HE'S STANDING IN FRONT OF A GREEN SCREEN.

196. WHAT WE DO IS MAGICALLY MAKE AN IMAGE COME ON THERE

197. THAT COLIN CAN'T SEE.

198. JEFF AND RYAN ARE GOING TO GIVE HIM LITTLE HINTS,

199. SO WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, RYAN AND JEFF, OFF TO YOU.

200. WHY DO THEY CALL IT A THONG?

201. I DON'T KNOW.

202. OH, WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN.

203. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE OUR MAN COLIN MOCHRIE

204. STANDING OUT IN THE FIELD WITH SOME LATE-BREAKING NEWS.

205. CAN YOU GIVE US ANY REPORTS AS TO WHAT'S GOING ON EXACTLY?

206. I AM SORRY, JEFF. IT IS A MADHOUSE HERE.

207. I'M BARELY HANGING ON.

208. I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS MUCH IN DANGER.

209. LOOK...

210. NOW, COLIN — COLIN, CAN YOU —

211. COLIN — COLIN, CAN YOU GIVE US ANY IDEA

212. AS TO HOW THE THING STARTED HAPPENING?

213. THIS ALL APPARENTLY STARTED WHEN —

214. THERE WAS A RUMOR THAT KATHIE LEE WAS COMING BACK.

215. OH!

216. COLIN, IT LOOKS —

217. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO PROTECT YOURSELF IN THERE?

218. SARAN WRAP.

219. NOW, COLIN, COLIN, COLIN,

220. I'M BEGINNING TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR —

221. I'M BEGINNING TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR SAFETY IN THERE, COLIN.

222. I'M A LITTLE WORRIED MYSELF, BUT I'M HOLDING IT TOGETHER

223. BECAUSE THIS IS A STORY THAT MUST BE TOLD.

224. LOOK AT THIS. TRY TO KEEP YOUR EYES ON IT.

225. IT MAY REPULSE YOU, BUT KEEP STARING.

226. NOW, COLIN —

227. COLIN, WE'RE KIND OF LOSING YOU, COLIN,

228. BECAUSE THE ANTENNAS ON OUR VAN ARE KIND OF FAILING.

229. WE CAN'T QUITE CATCH YOU RIGHT NOW.

230. THE ANTENNAS AREN'T WORKING.

231. WELL...

232. THAT'S TOO BAD.

233. COLIN, THEY SEEM PRETTY WELL-ORGANIZED.

234. WELL, YES.

235. THEY HAVE A VERY GOOD UNION.

236. COLIN — COLIN, I DON'T SEE ANY END OF THIS IN SIGHT.

237. IT SEEMS LIKE THIS MIGHT GO ON EVEN AFTER A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.

238. OH, I'M TELLING YOU —

239. THIS SORT OF THING JUST WOULD MAKE YOU SICK.

240. I MYSELF...

241. HE SEEMS TO BE HANDLING IT.

242. WELL, COLIN, THINK YOU GOT IT?

243. WHAT IS IT?

244. A LOT OF COCKROACHES.

245. YES.

246. LOTS OF COCKROACHES. YUCK.

247. 1,000 POINTS TO THE ROACHES.

248. TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM NOW

249. BEFORE THE NUCLEAR BOMB HITS.

250. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "HOEDOWN"

251. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL ON THE PIANO.

252. UH, WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

253. IS A SUGGESTION OF A GLAMOROUS PROFESSION.

254. COWBOY!

255. ASTRONAUT.

256. UH, SO LET'S HEAR THE ASTRONAUT HOEDOWN.

257. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

258. WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

259. RIGHT AFTER THIS. DON'T GO AWAY.

260. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

261. TONIGHT'S WINNER IS WAYNE BRADY.

262. WAYNE BRADY IS THE WINNER TONIGHT.

263. UH, WE'RE GOING TO DO A SCENE FOR YOU

264. CALLED "FOREIGN FILM DUB,"

265. AND WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IS JEFF AND I ARE GOING

266. TO PRETEND TO SPEAK IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.

267. WHAT FOREIGN LANGUAGE WOULD YOU LIKE US TO SPEAK?

268. SPANISH.

269. THAT WAS THE FIRST THING I HEARD,

270. AND IF YOU WERE A SPANISH FILM DIRECTOR MAKING ACTION FILMS,

271. WHAT WOULD THE NAME OF YOUR FILM BE?

272. EL DONKEY.

273. RYAN, YOU'RE GOING TO TRANSLATE FOR ME.

274. COLIN, YOU'RE GOING TO TRANSLATE FOR JEFF.

275. EL DONKEY IN SPANISH.

276. SEÑOR, NECESITO UN BURRO.

277. HEY, NICE SUIT.

278. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HAVE YOU SEEN MY ASS?

279. QUé BUENO?

280. TAMBIéN, NO TENGO PANTALONES.

281. I HAVE SEEN THE DONKEY YOU TALK OF.

282. IT WEARS FUNNY PANTS.

283. THIS BURRO IS MY ONLY FRIEND.

284. HIM AND I WATCH "BAYWATCH" TOGETHER.

285. AY, AY, AY, DIOS!

286. Tú BURRO — NO!

287. YOU MEAN WHEN THEY WALK IN SLOW MOTION?

288. I LOVE THAT!

289. I CAN'T SPEAK SPANISH.

290. OTRA VEZ.

291. EL BURRO —

292. EXCUSE ME, I WILL SELL YOU MY —

293. HA HA HA — I WILL SELL YOU MY —

294. HO HO HO — EXCUSE ME — I WILL SELL YOU —

295. OH, I'M NOT SPANISH AT ALL.

296. BIEN, BIEN.

297. MY GOD, A PERUVIAN MIME.

298. I HAVE AN OUTIE BELLYBUTTON

299. AND I LIVE IN A SMALL HOUSE.

300. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING "WHOSE LINE."

301. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

302. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

303. TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE WAYNE BRADY

304. READ THE CREDITS FOR YOU.

305. WAYNE, YOU'RE AN ARMY PARACHUTE INSTRUCTOR,

306. AND YOU'RE CALLING OUT THE NAMES

307. OF THOSE NEXT TO JUMP,

308. AND EVERYBODY ELSE IS THE JUMPERS, OKAY?

309. THANKS A LOT FOR WATCHING, EVERYBODY. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

310. ARE YOU READY, RYAN STILES, ARE YOU READY?

311. WE'RE GOING TO DROP YOU RIGHT OVER THERE

312. WITH JIMMY MULVILLE. ARE YOU READY? GO, GO, GO, GO!

313. WHO'S NEXT? ARE YOU READY?

314. RYAN STILES, YOU'RE GOING TO JUMP.

315. GOOD JOB. ARE YOU READY?

316. I DON'T WANT YOU TO LAND THE WRONG WAY.

317. CAN YOU HEAR ME, BOY? DO YOU HEAR ME?

318. LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AT ME! READY? AAH!

319. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.