Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x10

Directed by

Penn Jillette as Self • Teller as Self • Gary Anthony Williams as Self

Illusionists and entertainers Penn & Teller; guest comedian Gary Anthony Williams.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x10 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x10 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x10]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x10 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 3x10 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, AMERICA,

2. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW —

4. FOR DEEP DOWN CLEANSING — WAYNE BRADY.

5. DOESN'T LEAVE STREAKS — CHIP ESTEN.

6. JUST SPRAY AND GO — COLIN MOCHRIE.

7. AND LEAVES THE WHOLE HOUSE SMELLING FRESH — RYAN STILES.

8. HI. I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

9. COME ON DOWN. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

10. HELLO, HELLO. WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

11. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP

12. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

13. THE POINTS ARE LIKE

14. A STARBUCKS ACROSS THE STREET FROM A STARBUCKS.

15. LET'S — HA HA HA HA.

16. NOW LET'S GET IT STARTED, SEE HOW IT GOES.

17. THIS FIRST GAME IS CALLED "SUPERHEROES."

18. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU. COLIN, YOU'RE GOING TO START.

19. RYAN, CHIP, AND WAYNE WILL JOIN HIM.

20. EACH NEW SUPERHERO WILL NAME THE NEXT SUPERHERO COMING IN.

21. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

22. IS THE NAME OF AN UNLIKELY SUPERHERO.

23. STOP SHOUTING. I CAN'T TAKE IT.

24. WHAT DID YOU SAY?

25. DOGCATCHER.

26. DOGCATCHER... BOY.

27. MAN, WHAT KIND OF A CRISIS WILL DOGCATCHER BOY

28. BE DEALING WITH?

29. PIT BULL!

30. PIT BULLS.

31. THERE'S PIT BULLS RUNNING LOOSE ALL OVER THE WORLD.

32. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

33. I DON'T KNOW.

34. COME ON.

35. COME ON, YOU LITTLE SHIH TZU. COME ON.

36. WHAT'S THIS ON THE CRISIS MONITOR?

37. PIT BULLS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY!

38. I HOPE MY SUPERFRIENDS GET HERE SOON.

39. SORRY I'M LATE.

40. I COULDN'T GET A CAB.

41. CABBIE, CABBIE. NOTHING WAS WORKING.

42. THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE,

43. BODY-PARTS-CONSTANTLY- FALLING-ASLEEP BOY.

44. LOOK.

45. WHAT?

46. LOOK.

47. PIT BULLS!

48. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, PIT BULLS.

49. OH, MY GOD. WE NEED HELP.

50. WE NEED MUCH HELP.

51. SORRY I'M LATE.

52. CAPTAIN COSSACK!

53. I'LL DO WHAT I CAN, BUT WE NEED MORE HELP.

54. SORRY I'M LATE.

55. LOOK, EVERYONE, IT'S TAE BO KID.

56. SORRY I'M LATE.

57. CHAA!

58. ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS WE HAVE TO TEACH

59. EACH OF THESE PIT BULLS RESPONSIBILITY

60. THROUGH TAE BO.

61. THAT'S THINKING.

62. THAT'LL WORK.

63. I CAN'T HELP MUCH,

64. BUT I'LL GO DRINK A LOT OF VODKA.

65. ARE MY LIPS MOVING?

66. YEAH.

67. ANOTHER CRISIS AVERTED.

68. HEY, UH...

69. WHAT KIND OF LIGHT DOES THE COMMISSIONER PUT UP

70. WHEN HE WANTS BODY-PARTS- FALLING-ASLEEP GUY?

71. THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.

72. 1,000 POINTS APIECE.

73. OUR NEXT GAME WE'RE GOING TO DO IS CALLED "DUET"

74. FOR CHIP AND WAYNE

75. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL, LINDA TAYLOR, ANNA WANSELIUS.

76. YES!

77. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ON TELEVISION?

78. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

79. PHYLLIS.

80. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING, PHYLLIS?

81. I'M A HOUSEWIFE.

82. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

83. NIAGARA FALLS, CANADA.

84. COME ON DOWN HERE, PHYLLIS.

85. THIS IS PHYLLIS.

86. THERE YOU GO. HAVE A SEAT.

87. IT'S NOT GOING TO HURT.

88. PHYLLIS, YOU'RE IN FOR A TREAT

89. BECAUSE THESE GUYS ARE GOING TO SING TO YOU

90. AS THE BEE GEES.

91. AS THE WHAT? AS THE WHAT?

92. THE BEE GEES WERE A HIT ROCK GROUP

93. WHEN YOU WERE 70 — IN THE '70s.

94. SORRY.

95. GO AHEAD.

96. TAKE IT AWAY, EVERYBODY.

97. LET'S HEAR YOU SING.

98. YES?

99. YEAH!

100. PHYLLIS!

101. I LOVED IT.

102. THANK YOU, PHYLLIS.

103. COME ON. WE'LL WALK YOU BACK.

104. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

105. I JUST LOVED IT, DREW.

106. THAT WAS FANTASTIC.

107. OH, MAN.

108. PHYLLIS!

109. PHYLLIS, THAT WAS GREAT. OH, THAT WAS JUST GREAT.

110. I HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD.

111. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME.

112. THIS GAME'S CALLED "SCENES FROM A HAT,"

113. AND WHAT HAPPENS IS BEFORE THE SHOW,

114. WE ASKED THE AUDIENCE TO WRITE SOME THINGS DOWN

115. THEY'D LIKE TO SEE THE PERFORMERS DO.

116. WE'RE GOING TO SEE HOW MANY OF THEM THEY CAN DO.

117. "PICK-UP LINES THAT ARE DOOMED TO FAIL."

118. HEY, I'VE GOT CABLE.

119. ONCE THE ITCHING STOPS,

120. I'LL BE READY FOR LOVING, BABY.

121. I PLAY LEWIS ON "THE DREW CAREY SHOW."

122. "THINGS TO SAY THAT WILL ALWAYS START A FIGHT."

123. GUYS WANT TO FIGHT?

124. HEY, CLINTON, WHAT'S WITH THE FAT BROAD?

125. "THE SHORTEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN."

126. BRITISH DENTISTRY.

127. THE LIFE AND TIMES OF GARY COLEMAN.

128. DREW CAREY'S ACTING TIPS.

129. DREW CAREY'S ACTING TIPS. DREW CAREY'S ACTING TIPS.

130. SEE?

131. YEAH.

132. I HOPE YOU LIKE THE INSIDE OF YOUR TRAILER.

133. "DISTURBING SAYINGS FOUND

134. ON YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S CROCHETED THROW PILLOWS."

135. I DID IT WITH YOUR GRANDFATHER RIGHT HERE.

136. "WHAT THEY REALLY TALK ABOUT IN FOOTBALL HUDDLES."

137. HE'S SUCH A. HE SCRATCHED MY EYES OUT.

138. I KNOW.

139. WHY DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

140. I DON'T KNOW.

141. OKAY, LET'S MOVE ALONG.

142. WOW. "THE NEWSPAPER HEADLINE YOU'D MOST LIKE TO SEE."

143. BALDING MEN BEST LOVERS IN THE WORLD.

144. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE

145. OF "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" RIGHT AFTER THIS.

146. DON'T GO AWAY.

147. WELCOME BACK.

148. WELCOME BACK TO THE SECOND HALF OF "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

149. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP

150. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

151. I GUESS "FRIENDS" ISN'T VERY GOOD TONIGHT.

152. WE GOT A GAME HERE CALLED "WHOSE LINE?"

153. IT'S FOR COLIN AND RYAN.

154. WE HAVE THE AUDIENCE WRITE DOWN RANDOM LINES

155. BEFORE THE SHOW. WE PICK GOOD ONES.

156. WE GIVE THEM TO COLIN AND RYAN.

157. STUFF THEM IN YOUR POCKET SO YOU CAN'T SEE THEM.

158. THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO INSERT THESE LINES

159. AS THEY MAKE UP THE SCENE.

160. THE SCENE IS COLIN IS A DISTRAUGHT MAID MARIAN

161. WHO TELLS ROBIN HOOD — THAT'S RYAN —

162. THAT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE STRAIN OF THE RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE.

163. PUT IN THE LINES AS YOU GO. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, START.

164. OH, SWEEDILY-DIDDILY-DON'T.

165. WHY, MARIAN, WHATEVER IS WRONG?

166. WHATEVER IS WRONG?

167. YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST YOU AND YOUR MERRY MEN.

168. YOU COME IN HERE, I COOK FOR ALL OF YOU,

169. AND YOU RUN OFF.

170. WELL, I'VE GOT TO STEAL FROM THE RICH

171. AND GIVE TO THE POOR.

172. LOOK, WHEN WE STARTED THIS RELATIONSHIP,

173. I NEVER PROMISED YOU ANYTHING.

174. AS A MATTER OF FACT,

175. I REMEMBER DISTINCTLY SAYING,

176. "WHAT TIME DO THE GIRLS GET HERE?"

177. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN AN INDICATION.

178. YOU'RE MY FAVORITE GIRL. YOU KNOW THAT.

179. I WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE.

180. I DON'T WANT US LIVING IN THE FOREST.

181. I'M ROBIN HOOD. I CAN'T NARROW IT DOWN TO ONE WOMAN.

182. YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY TO YOU,

183. AND YOU LISTEN GOOD, MISTER.

184. LET'S GET NAKED AND WRESTLE.

185. WAIT.

186. OH, THIS WON'T WORK.

187. LOOK, MARIAN, THIS IS FOOLISH.

188. IF YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED, I'LL MARRY YOU.

189. THE FRIAR CAN DO IT FOR US

190. BACK AT THE PLACE WHERE WE LIVE IN THE WOODS.

191. DO YOU MEAN IT?

192. I DO.

193. CAN WE WRITE OUR OWN VOWS?

194. I'VE ALREADY DONE IT, MY DEAR.

195. AS WE WALK UP TO THE FRIAR,

196. I'LL LOOK IN YOUR EYES AND SAY, "MARIAN,

197. "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

198. THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO STUFF A TURKEY."

199. AND I'M PUTTING THE GIBLETS ON YOUR PLATE.

200. I LOVE WHEN YOU TALK POULTRY.

201. WHAT IS IT? SOMETHING'S BOTHERING YOU.

202. YOU COULD TELL BY MY FACE?

203. NOT ONLY THAT,

204. BUT YOU'VE DROPPED YOUR ACCENT.

205. LIVING IN THE WOODS WILL DO THAT.

206. LOOK OUT THERE. ALL THAT COULD BE OURS, MARIAN.

207. OH, BUT DON'T YOU SEE WE'RE LIVING

208. IN A FOOL'S PARADISE?

209. WHEN MY MOTHER DIED,

210. SHE TOLD ME TO SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS

211. AND "STAND BACK. THIS BABY'S GOING TO BLOW."

212. THEN SHE JUST BLEW UP.

213. 1,000 POINTS TO RYAN

214. BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TELL HIM...

215. "YOUR MOTHER IS THE BEST STRIPPER IN VEGAS."

216. I BOUGHT HER A HOUSE.

217. THAT'S RIGHT. HA HA HA HA HA.

218. LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED "GREATEST HITS."

219. THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU WITH THE HELP

220. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL, LINDA TAYLOR, ANNA WANSELIUS.

221. COLIN AND RYAN ARE GOING TO BE TV VOICEOVER GUYS

222. TALKING ABOUT A LATEST COMPILATION ALBUM.

223. WAYNE AND CHIP ARE GOING TO TRY TO SING SONGS

224. THAT THEY MAKE UP.

225. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

226. IS SOMETHING YOU LOOK FOR IN THE YELLOW PAGES.

227. WOMEN.

228. WOMEN, YES. WOMEN. GOT IT.

229. SO, THE NAME OF YOUR ALBUM IS "SONGS OF WOMEN."

230. GO AHEAD AND GO.

231. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK TO OUR FOX PREMIERE

232. OF "ALIEN ODDITIES" WITH E.T. THE EXTRA TESTICLE

233. IN JUST A SECOND.

234. BUT FIRST, HAVE WE GOT AN OFFER FOR YOU.

235. FOR AS LONG AS MEN HAVE WALKED THIS PLANET,

236. WOMEN HAVE WALKED IT, TOO.

237. AND WE'VE COMPILED OVER 78 SONGS ON ONE CD

238. ALL ABOUT WOMEN.

239. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, COLIN. I LOVE THEM.

240. I LOVE THEM... MORE.

241. I'M NOT INSECURE ABOUT MY SEXUAL IDENTITY.

242. I LOVE WOMEN!

243. SLEEP.

244. YOU'LL FORGET I EVER SAID THAT.

245. AWAKE.

246. FOR AS LONG AS MEN HAVE WALKED THIS PLANET,

247. WOMEN HAVE WALKED IT WITH THEM.

248. WE'VE COMPILED OVER 78 SONGS ON ONE CD

249. ALL ABOUT WOMEN.

250. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I LOVE THEM.

251. YEAH, ME TOO.

252. I DON'T THINK THERE'S A BETTER SONG

253. THAN THAT 1984 POLICE HIT "HEY, WHAT'S THAT?"

254. AMAZING.

255. HEY, RYAN, IF STING RETIRES,

256. WILL HE CHANGE HIS NAME TO STUNG?

257. HA HA HA HA HA HA.

258. HA HA HA HA.

259. I DON'T THINK THERE'S A BETTER SONG

260. THAT, UH, TELLS ME, UH, WHAT WOMEN ARE ALL ABOUT —

261. SLEEP.

262. WHEN YOU AWAKE, YOU WILL HAVE GREAT DICTION.

263. AWAKE.

264. THAN THAT LOUIS JORDAN SONG

265. "SHE'S ALL MINE."

266. CHICKEN.

267. DAMN IT.

268. YOU KNOW,

269. ONE OF MY FAVORITE STYLES IS ZYDECO

270. BECAUSE IT STARTS WITH A "Z" AND ENDS WITH A VOWEL,

271. BUT THAT'S JUST ME.

272. HA HA HA HA. STUNG.

273. AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE ZYDECO HITS, OF COURSE,

274. IS THAT — YOUR FEET ARE JUST GOING TO START TAPPING —

275. "HOT, HOT FEVER, COLD, COLD CHILLS."

276. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

277. DON'T GO AWAY.

278. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

279. TONIGHT'S WINNERS — WAYNE AND RYAN.

280. THEY'RE GOING TO DO A GAME WITH ME

281. CALLED "3-HEADED BROADWAY STAR."

282. WE'RE GOING TO PRETEND TO BE A 3-HEADED BROADWAY STAR.

283. WE'RE GOING TO STAND LIKE THIS

284. AND MAKE UP A SONG ONE WORD AT A TIME

285. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR.

286. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

287. IS A NAME OF AN UNLIKELY BROADWAY MUSICAL.

288. "WHY WE'RE IN THE TOILET."

289. NO.

290. Man #2: "KILLER WHALE."

291. MORE OF A COMMENT.

292. "KILLER WHALE" IS THE NAME OF THE MUSICAL,

293. AND WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE HIT LOVE SONG?

294. "DON'T TOUCH MY BLOWHOLE."

295. "DON'T TCH MY BLOWHOLE" —

296. THE HIT LOVE SONG FROM THE BROADWAY MUSICAL —

297. SOMETHING ABOUT A WHALE, OKAY?

298. YEAH, "KILLER WHALE."

299. HERE WE GO. ONE WORD AT A TIME.

300. HA HA HA.

301. WON'T.

302. IS "BLOWHOLE" TWO WORDS?

303. NO. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE."

304. WE'LL FIND OUT IF "BLOWHOLE" IS ONLY ONE WORD.

305. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

306. WE'RE GOING TO END WITH WAYNE AND CHIP READING THE CREDITS.

307. READ THE CREDITS LIKE TWO OLD VAUDEVILLE PERFORMERS.

308. THANKS FOR WATCHING, EVERYBODY. GOOD NIGHT.

309. I REMEMBER A VERY YOUNG DAN PATTERSON.

310. THAT RYAN STILES — DAN PATTERSON —

311. HE WOULD START DOING THIS.

312. WATCH OUT FOR MY ARTHUR. IT'S IN THE FORREST.

313. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

314. I'VE GOT THE BIGGEST COLIN MOCHRIE IN THE WORLD.

315. HEY, IS MY KIERAN HEALYED YET? IS IT HEALYED?

316. OH, WHOOP. SPLUT. HA HA HA.

317. WANT ONE OF THESE? WATCH OUT.

318. WAIT A SECOND. I GOT KENNETH SHAPIRO.

319. HAVE YOU FOLKS HEARD THE ONE ABOUT CHRIS DALE?

320. TELL US ABOUT IT.

321. I DON'T KNOW.

322. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.