Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x7

Directed by

Greg Proops as Self • Nolan Gould as Self • Jeff Bryan Davis as Self

Actor Nolan Gould; guest comics Jeff Davis and Greg Proops.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x7 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x7 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x7]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x7 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x7 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY, AND WELCOME

2. TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" ON TONIGHT'S SHOW —

3. LEAN AND TENDER BRAD SHERWOOD.

4. NICELY TRIMMED WAYNE BRADY.

5. WELL-MARBLED COLIN MOCHRIE.

6. AND THE BITS THAT GO IN TO MAKE A HOT DOG — RYAN STILES.

7. I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY. COME ON DOWN.

8. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9. OH.

10. WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",

11. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP

12. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

13. THAT'S RIGHT, THEY DON'T MATTER AT ALL.

14. POINTS HERE ARE LIKE PANTS TO HUGH HEFNER.

15. WHAT HAPPENS IS THESE FOUR PERFORMERS

16. ARE GOING TO IMPROVISE EVERYTHING YOU SEE TONIGHT,

17. AND THEN I GIVE THEM POINTS WHICH, OF COURSE, DON'T MATTER.

18. IT'S JUST A GAG, REALLY, TO TIE THE SHOW TOGETHER.

19. WE PICK A WINNER AT THE END OF THE SHOW,

20. AND THEN THE WINNER GETS TO DO

21. A LITTLE SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ME,

22. AND THE LOSERS —

23. THE LOSERS

24. ARE GOING TO BE WAYNE AND BRAD.

25. I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,

26. THAT'S WHO THE LOSERS ARE GOING TO BE.

27. LET'S START OUT WITH "LET'S MAKE A DATE."

28. WAYNE'S GOING TO BE APPEARING ON A DATING-TYPE SHOW,

29. AND YOUR ONLY CHOICES ARE RYAN, COLIN, AND BRAD.

30. HE'S GOING TO TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHO THEY ARE.

31. WE'RE GOING TO GIVE THEM

32. A UNIQUE CHARACTERISTIC OR IDENTITY,

33. AND THEN WAYNE'S GOING TO QUESTION THEM.

34. SO IF YOU'RE READY, WAYNE, ON YOUR DATING SHOW,

35. OR WAYNETTE, OFF YOU GO.

36. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE, I ENJOY A MAN

37. WHO HAS AN ESCIAL LOVE FOR THE OUTDOORS.

38. SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH ME IF WE WERE OUTDOORS?

39. LET ME JUST SAY IF WE WERE OUTDOORS,

40. WE'D SPEND IT ON SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY,

41. WHERE LADIES GET IN FOR $1.

42. I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU TO A BEAUTIFUL SWAMP

43. AND SHOW YOU THE DEATH-DEFYING TERMINATOR

44. VERSUS BEARFOOT IN AN ALL-OUT GRUDGE MATCH!

45. GOING HEAD TO HEAD, FUEL-BURNING STEEL,

46. AND DIRT, DIRT, DIRT, DIRT, DIRT!

47. MMM.

48. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,

49. YOU MAKE ME WANT TO RUN TO A TRAILER PARK RIGHT NOW.

50. GRRR!

51. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO. HOLA.

52. WHAT IS THE UNO PRIMERO ONE THING

53. THAT IS THE BEST THING YOU COULD FIND

54. ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT YOU CALL YOUR LOVE?

55. I JUST BELIEVE

56. ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD SHOULD BE FED.

57. SPARKLE, SPARKLE.

58. VERY NICE.

59. BACHELOR NUMBER THREE.

60. YES, IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE HERE.

61. I LIKE TO WATCH SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS

62. AND WEDNESDAY EVENING DRAMAS.

63. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO ON FRIDAYS?

64. WELL, I LIKE ALL THOSE THINGS.

65. I THINK IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GUY

66. TO EXPERIENCE THAT WITH YOU, IT'S PROBABLY ME.

67. OH!

68. BACHELOR NUMBER THREE,

69. YOU'RE BANANAS. HA HA HA!

70. HA HA HA HA!

71. BACHELOR UNO,

72. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DISH TO DINE ON?

73. MY FAVORITE DISH IS 6 FEET OF DEEP MUD

74. AND BURNING FUEL DIESEL

75. BEING PULLED ACRS THE TRACK AT 165 MILES AN HOUR.

76. I'D LIKE TO WALLOW AROUND IN A MUD SLOP WITH YOU, BABY,

77. ON SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!

78. OOH.

79. COME ON!

80. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,

81. TELL ME SOMETHING.

82. A DISPOSITION AND PERSONALITY

83. IS VERY IMPORTANTE TO ME.

84. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF CONGENIAL?

85. NO! NO, THAT'S THE MARK OF DEATH!

86. YOU SCARE ME, BACHELOR NUMBER TWO.

87. BACHELOR NUMBER THREE,

88. WHAT TYPE OF LOVER DO YOU PREFER?

89. OKAY.

90. UH...

91. HONEY?

92. I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT YOU HAVE TO GUESS

93. WHO THEY ARE.

94. OKAY. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,

95. HE WAS AN ANNOUNCER AT A BIG-TRUCK CONTEST.

96. YES.

97. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,

98. HE WAS A BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTESTANT.

99. MISS WORLD, IT SAYS HERE.

100. MISS WORLD.

101. AND BACHELOR NUMBER THREE WAS SLOWLY TURNING

102. INTO KING KONG.

103. YES!

104. POW!

105. THANK YOU FOR NOT LETTING ME LICK YOU.

106. I'M GOING TO TAKE ALL THE POINTS

107. I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU,

108. I'M GOING TO GIVE THEM TO EVERY GREAT TV CRITIC

109. IN THE COUNTRY

110. 'CAUSE I THINK TELEVISION CRITICS

111. ARE THE GREATEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

112. NEXT GAME IS CALLED "SUPERHEROES."

113. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

114. YOU'RE GOING TO ACT OUT A SCENE AS UNLIKELY SUPERHEROES.

115. BRAD, YOU'RE GOING TO START.

116. RYAN, COLIN, AND WAYNE ARE GOING TO COME IN

117. AND NAME EACH OTHER AS THEY COME IN.

118. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

119. IS A SUGGESTION FOR BRAD'S SUPERHERO NAME.

120. WHAT? PRISSY BOY.

121. HEY, HE KNOWS YOUR SCREEN NAME.

122. prissyboy@aol.com.

123. WE ALSO NEED A CRISIS PRISSY BOY...

124. PRISSY BOY IS HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY.

125. SO, PRISSY BOY, IT'S A BAD HAIR DAY

126. ALL OVER THE WORLD. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

127. AAH! AAH! AAH!

128. LOOK AT MY DO!

129. SORRY I'M LATE.

130. OH, NICE THONG.

131. EXCUSE ME.

132. I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU SO EARLY.

133. THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE, CAPTAIN FRISKS A LOT.

134. IT'S NO PROBLEM. I WAS JUST...

135. IT'S ALL RIGHT. SORRY I'M LATE.

136. IT TOOK ME A LITTLE WHILE TO GET HERE.

137. I RAN OVER AS QUICKLY AS I COULD.

138. OH, THANK GOD, THE BITTER DIVORCE KID.

139. I WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE SOONER,

140. BUT I LOST THE CAR TO THE BEEP.

141. YOUR COLOGNE IS A LITTLE BIT STRONFOR ME.

142. IT'S ALL I HAVE LEFT.

143. AT LEAST YOU GOT TO KEEP YOUR HAIR.

144. I LOST IT IN THE SETTLEMENT!

145. SORRY I'M LATE.

146. I CAME AS SOON AS I COULD.

147. OH, WHO CARES, YOU DIRTY DANCING KID?

148. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP YOU?

149. JUST DON'T SCUFF THE FLOORS.

150. I HAD THEM WAXED EARLIER, SO PLE—

151. I KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO. HERE, USE THIS.

152. IT'S MY RHINESTONE G-STRING. THERE. SEE YOU LATER.

153. IF MY WIFE MOVED LIKE THAT, WE'D STILL BE TOGETHER.

154. [ GIGGLING

155. GOT TO GO.

156. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

157. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

158. I JUST REALIZED SOME GUY NAMED PRISSY BOY

159. AT AMERICA ONLINE IS GOING TO GET

160. ABOUT A HUNDRED E-MAILS TONIGHT.

161. SO, HEY, 1,000 POINTS TO YOU, BUDDY,

162. AND OUR APOLOGIES.

163. NOW LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "THE BALLAD OF..."

164. IT'S FOR WAYNE AND BRAD,

165. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR.

166. HERE — FOLLOW ME HERE.

167. SIR, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

168. LEONARD.

169. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

170. I'M A LAWYER.

171. SURE YOU ARE. COME OUT HERE, LEONARD.

172. OKAY, BRAD AND WAYNE, YOU'RE GOING TO SING

173. A COUNTRY SONG, A COUNTRY SONG CALLED

174. "THE BALLAD OF LEONARD THE LAWYER."

175. YEE-HA!

176. [ MAKES NOISE OF CRACKING WHIP ]

177. YAHOO!

178. THANK YOU, LEONARD. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

179. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

180. RIGHT AFTER THIS.

181. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",

182. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

183. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

184. THE HOME VIEWER OUR PANELISTS ARE PLAYING FOR TODAY

185. IS LYNN BALM FROM THOUSAND OAKS, CALIFORNIA.

186. FOR EVERY POINT THE WINNER GETS,

187. WE'LL SEND THE SAME NUMBER OF POINTS TO YOU.

188. CONGRATULATIONS, LYNN BALM.

189. NOW, OUR NEXT GAME

190. IS ONE YOU DON'T SEE VERY OFTEN.

191. IT'S CALLED "IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN."

192. THIS IS FOR BRAD, RYAN, AND COLIN.

193. WHAT I NEED IS A TYPE OF EVENT YOU MIGHT GO TO.

194. AN AUTO RACE — THAT'S THE FIRST ONE I HEARD.

195. SO, YOU GUYS HAVE ORGANIZED AN AUTO RACE,

196. AND YOU'RE CLEANING UP AFTER IT.

197. THEIR CONVERSATION IS GOING TO BE FULL

198. OF THEIR OWN EUPHEMISMS.

199. YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN WHILE YOU WATCH,

200. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

201. THAT WAS QUITE A RACE, HUH?

202. OH...

203. THERE WERE A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLS.

204. I SAW THAT ONE TALKING TO YOU.

205. SHE WAS REALLY TRYING TO PAINT THE EIFFEL TOWER,

206. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

207. I WAS ALMOST BUFFING THE BOULDER.

208. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

209. SHE HAD QUITE A SET OF PRODUCE SHELVES,

210. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

211. HOLD THE BANANAS!

212. I THINK YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING.

213. I GOT YOU!

214. SORRY I'M LATE.

215. I WAS CHOKING THE NUN, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

216. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

217. YOU WERE QUITE A HIT WITH THE LADIES TODAY.

218. I BUTTERED SOME LOBSTER, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

219. YOU WERE THE VERITABLE KINGPIN OF THE MONKEY FARM.

220. I DON'T WANT TO BRAG, BUT I KNOW HOW

221. TO PASS A STONE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

222. YES, I DO.

223. KNIT ONE, PURL TWO.

224. TOUCHé.

225. SAY, I DON'T WANT TO BRAG,

226. BUT WHILE YOU GUYS WERE OUT FLIRTING,

227. I MANAGED TO SCRAPE UP SOME PAINT CHIPS OF MY OWN

228. WITH THE DUSTBUSTER.

229. OH.

230. SOMEBODY HAD A LAYOVER IN WINNIPEG.

231. OH HO! HA HA!

232. GILLIGAN MAKING A COCONUT HOUSE.

233. YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN, MR. HOWELL.

234. I'M TIRED OF SWEEPING.

235. THAT WAS GREAT.

236. I'D GIVE YOU POINTS FOR THAT, BUT THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

237. POINTS DON'T MATTER.

238. THE POINTS HERE ARE A LOT LIKE THE NEW SHOWS ON UPN.

239. NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE.

240. OUR NEXT GAME IS CALLED "GREATEST HITS."

241. THIS IS FOR EVERYBODY,

242. WITH LAURA HALL ON PIANO AND LINDA TAYLOR ON GUITAR.

243. COLIN AND RYAN ARE TV VOICE-OVER GUYS.

244. YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE LATEST COMPILATION ALBUM.

245. WAYNE AND BRAD ARE GOING TO SING SNIPPETS OF THE SONGS,

246. AND WHAT WE NEED IS A SUGGESTION OF A SPORT.

247. GOLF. GOLF, GOLF, GOLF.

248. GOLF! GOLF!

249. GOLF!

250. OKAY, THE NAME OF YOUR ALBUM IS "SONGS OF GOLF."

251. HI. WE'LL RETURN YOU

252. TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM,

253. BUT FIRST, HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!

254. IT'S OKAY.

255. GOLF! JUST THE SOUND OF IT

256. MAKES YOU WANT TO SING ABOUT IT, DOESN'T IT?

257. THAT'S WHY WE'VE COMPILED OVER THREE SONGS,

258. ALL TO DO WITH GOLF!

259. OH, WE'VE GOT ANOTHER SONG!

260. FOUR.

261. YOU KNOW WHAT?

262. GOLF HAS BEEN AROUND FOR YEARS AND YEARS.

263. IN FACT, THE FIRST SONG

264. THAT WAS EVER RECORDED ABOUT GOLF

265. WAS DONE BY THE OLD VAUDEVILLE TEAM

266. NIBLICK AND DRIVER

267. AND THAT GREAT HIT "GRAB MY PUTTER."

268. HEY, NIBLICK.

269. HEY, DRIVER.

270. KNOW HOW TO TAKE A FEW STROKES OFF YOUR GAME?

271. YES. NOW LET'S GO GOLFING.

272. OHH!

273. OHH!

274. HEY, MR. DRIVER.

275. YES, MR. NIBLICK.

276. WHAT WOULD YOU CALL AN ACTRESS

277. IF SHE WEREN'T A BIG DRIVER?

278. I DON'T KNOW. WHAT WOULD YOU CALL HER?

279. MINNIE DRIVER.

280. OHH!

281. ALL I CAN SAY IS THANK GOD FOR TECHNOLOGY.

282. YOU KNOW, COLIN, GROWING UP AS A YOUNG BOY

283. IN THE WHEAT FIELDS OF SASKATCHEWAN,

284. I KNOW I LISTENED TO A LOT OF THE OLD BEACH HITS,

285. AS YOU DID.

286. OH, NOTHING BETTER THAN THAT SURFING

287. IN WHEAT FIELDS.

288. AND I THINK ONE OF MY FAVORITES

289. IS THAT BIG NUMBER-ONE HIT "FORE."

290. COLIN AND I TRAVEL A LOT SELLING THIS CD PACK,

291. AND A LOT OF TIMES, WE STAY IN HOTELS,

292. AND WE HEAR SOME OF THE BEST MUSIC

293. IN SMALL LOUNGES AND LITTLE FARAWAY HOTELS,

294. AND ONE OF OUR FAVORITE OLD LOUNGE HITS

295. IS "HEY, A SQUIRREL CHEWED MY BAG."

296. DON'T GO ANYWHERE.

297. WHEN WE COME BACK,

298. THE WINNER GETS TO DO SOMETHING WITH ME.

299. COME RIGHT BACK!

300. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

301. TONIGHT'S WINNER — COLIN AND RYAN.

302. BECAUSE THEY'RE THE WINNERS, WE'RE GOING TO DO

303. A GAME CALLED "90-SECOND ALPHABET."

304. IN 90 SECONDS, WE HAVE TO DO A SCENE,

305. AND EVERY SENTENCE WE USE HAS TO BEGIN

306. WITH THE NEXT LETTER OF THE ALPHABET.

307. WE USE THE ALPHABET IN ORDER,

308. STARTING WITH WHAT LETTER?

309. "J!"

310. WHEN WE GET BACK TO "J," THAT WILL END THE SCENE.

311. WAYNE, WHAT'S THE SCENE ABOUT?

312. RYAN IS EXCITED ABOUT THE BLIND DATE

313. THAT YOU SET HIM UP WITH,

314. UNTIL SHE ARRIVES.

315. DING-DONG!

316. JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL YOU MEET

317. MY FRIEND COLINA.

318. KEVIN, WHO'S THIS?

319. LOLA. YOU CAN CALL ME LOLA,

320. THOUGH I'M KNOWN BY MANY NAMES.

321. MAN, YOU ARE ONE FINE-LOOKING WOMAN.

322. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

323. OH, SHE'S A HOTTIE.

324. PLEASE HAVE A SEAT.

325. QUITE.

326. RIGHT.

327. I SHOULD OFFER YOU A DRINK, I GUESS.

328. SCOTCH FOR ME.

329. TWO FOR ME, PLEASE.

330. USUALLY I DON'T DRINK, BUT I THINK I'LL HAVE

331. A LITTLE SOMETHING RIGHT NOW.

332. WOW, IS THIS STRONG!

333. YOU, UH, UH,

334. WHAT, UH —

335. "V."

336. "V?" OH!

337. VODKA IS GREAT.

338. WOW, IS THIS STRONG!

339. "X-FILES"! WE'RE MISSING "X-FILES"!

340. YOU LIKE "X-FILES," TOO?

341. ZOWIE! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE AN "X-FILES" FAN.

342. ALABAMA HAS THE LARGEST POPULATION

343. OF "X-FILES" LOVERS.

344. BUT SOMEBODY SAID ONCE, "THREE'S A CROWD."

345. COW? COW? COW! I HEAR A COW.

346. I GOT TO GET GOING.

347. DUMB-ASS, ISN'T HE?

348. EVERY TIME HE BRINGS A GIRL OVER,

349. IT'S THE SAME THING.

350. FINE. LET'S GET TO BUSINESS.

351. GOOD.

352. HI.

353. I'M — I CAN'T REMEMBER MY NAME.

354. JUMP ON ME!

355. THAT'S IT!

356. THANKS A LOT. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

357. WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

358. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

359. WE'RE GOING TO END THE SHOW WITH WAYNE AND RYAN.

360. READ THE CREDITS AS TWO SWITCHBOARD OPERATORS.

361. SO, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, GO AHEAD.

362. MARK LEVESON ON THE LINE.

363. HELLO. DAN PATTERSON AND MARK LEVESON.

364. PLEASE HOLD.

365. DENISE O'DONOGHUE FOR MARK LEVESON.

366. BRUCE GOWERS CALLING. TOM CLARK ON HOLD.

367. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

368. DREW CAREY — OH, RIGHT AWAY!

369. YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?

370. KEITH RICHMOND?

371. THEY'RE DOING "GEPPETTO 2."

372. STACY GALE CALLING FOR ALLISON SIDERIS.

373. DELIA FRANKEL — DANNY?

374. HELLO, I'M SORRY. HELLO, EASTER?

375. I CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE YOURS.

376. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.