Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x5

Directed by

Greg Proops as Self • Michael Weatherly as Self

Actor Michael Weatherly; guest comic Greg Proops.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x5 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x5 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x5]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x5 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x5 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

2. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW —

3. CROSS AT THE GREEN AND NOT IN BETWEEN —

4. WAYNE BRADY...

5. UNCLE SAM WANTS CHIP ESTEN...

6. TAKE A BITE OUT OF COLIN MOCHRIE...

7. AND ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT RYAN STILES.

8. I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

9. COME ON DOWN. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

10. A NICE HELLO.

11. HELLO!

12. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

13. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER,

14. JUST LIKE SAYING YOUR LUGGAGE HAS BEEN WITH YOU

15. SINCE YOU PACKED IT. HA HA HA.

16. DOESN'T MEAN A THING.

17. WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IS THESE GUYS

18. ARE GOING TO MAKE EVERYTHING UP TONIGHT.

19. AT THE END OF EVERY ROUND, I GIVE THEM POINTS —

20. JUST A GAG TO HOLD THE SHOW TOGETHER.

21. AT THE END, I PICK A WINNER.

22. THE WINNER GETS TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL

23. AND THE LOSER GETS TO LICK THE FROSTING.

24. HA HA HA.

25. SO, IF YOU'RE READY TO GET STARTED,

26. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "WEIRD NEWSCASTERS."

27. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

28. COLIN, YOU'RE THE ANCHOR OF A NEWS PROGRAM.

29. CHIP, WAYNE, AND RYAN ARE THE CO-PRESENTERS.

30. BUT WHAT WE'VE DONE IS

31. WE'VE GIVEN THEM EACH AN ODD CHARACTER TO PLAY.

32. COLIN, YOUR CO-ANCHOR IS CHIP.

33. CHIP, YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A BROADWAY MUSICAL.

34. SPORTS IS WAYNE.

35. SAYS HERE YOU'RE DREW'S NUMBER ONE TEENAGE FAN.

36. HE'S BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME TO DO THIS.

37. AND DOING THE WEATHER IS RYAN.

38. RYAN IS DESPERATE TO QUELL RUMORS THAT HE'S GAY.

39. BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IN THE SCENE?

40. I WANT YOU TO PRETEND YOU'RE DESPERATE

41. TO QUELL RUMORS THAT YOU'RE GAY.

42. I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO, DREW.

43. YEAH, WELL, GOOD LUCK.

44. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, COLIN,

45. WHENEVER YOU HEAR THE MUSIC, TAKE IT AWAY.

46. WELCOME TO THE 4:15 NEWS.

47. I'M YOUR ANCHOR ORLAN CURTAINBACK.

48. TODAY'S TOP STORY —

49. 9 OUT OF 10 AMERICANS BELIEVE THAT OUT OF 10 PEOPLE,

50. ONE AMERICAN WILL ALWAYS DISAGREE

51. WITH THE OTHER NINE.

52. AND NOW OVER TO MY NEW ANCHOR STEVE INCREDIBLE.

53. WELL, HE'S NO MICHAEL CRAWFORD.

54. AND NOW LET'S GO OVER TO SPORTS

55. WITH OUR SPORTS GUY FLAPPY.

56. HI, EVERYONE.

57. TODAY IN SPORTS I'M VERY HAPPY TO SAY

58. THAT ALL THE TEAMS ARE WINNING...

59. AND, UM, OH, MY GOD!

60. OH, MY GOD!

61. I'M SO SORRY, DREW CAREY. WAIT A SECOND.

62. I'M REALLY SORRY. NO, LOOK. NO, LOOK.

63. NO, NO, NO, NO.

64. NO, NO, NO, NO. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

65. NO, NO, NO, NO. WAIT, WAIT.

66. SERIOUSLY, LOOK. LOOK, LOOK. I CAN —

67. I'M DREW CAREY.

68. OOH, GOD! I GOT HIS GLASSES!

69. OH, MY GOD! I GOT HIS GLASSES!

70. OH, MY GOD! I GOT THEM!

71. I GOT HIS GLASSES! OH, MY GOD.

72. OH, MY GOD.

73. OH, MY GOD.

74. PLEASE, PLEASE.

75. TO ME, FROM YOU, ALWAYS.

76. P.S. LOVE YOU.

77. MORE.

78. OH, GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.

79. WHOO!

80. MAN.

81. THIS JUST IN —

82. SUCKING UP STILL GETS YOU AHEAD

83. IN THE BUSINESS.

84. WOW. YOU'RE SOMETHING ELSE.

85. OH, MY GOD!

86. OH, MY GOD!

87. WELL, WHY DON'T WE HEAD OVER

88. AND SEE WHAT WEATHER'S GOING TO BE LIKE THIS WEEKEND

89. WITH OUR CRAZY WEATHERMAN SONNY SKIES.

90. WELL...

91. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

92. WELL, LET'S JUST LOOK AT THE WEATHER.

93. I'LL JUST GRAB MY POINTER,

94. NOT THAT I NEED SOMETHING IN MY HAND,

95. BECAUSE I DON'T.

96. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SUNNY SKIES OVER THE ROCKIES —

97. THE ROCKIES, WHICH RESEMBLE WOMEN'S BREASTS,

98. WHICH I LOVE, BY THE WAY.

99. NOTHING MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN WOMEN'S BREASTS.

100. AND IT SHOULD BE SUNNY AND CLEAR

101. FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK. AND BY THE WAY,

102. NOBODY FINDS YOUR DANCING EXCITING.

103. THAT'S ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO BE SHOWN.

104. JOIN US AGAIN TOMORROW FOR THE 4:35 NEWS.

105. GOOD NIGHT.

106. IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY TIME

107. THAT HAPPENED TO ME... HA HA HA.

108. 1,000 POINTS TO EVERYBODY, AND NICE TRY TO RYAN.

109. THANKS, DREW.

110. NO KIDDING, RYAN. THAT WAS GREAT.

111. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "DUET."

112. THIS IS FOR CHIP AND WAYNE.

113. YOU'RE GOING TO SING A SONG WITH LAURA HALL ON PIANO,

114. LINDA TAYLOR ON GUITAR,

115. AND ANNA WANSELIUS ON SAXOPHONE.

116. HI, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

117. CONNIE.

118. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

119. A RECEPTIONIST.

120. RECEPTIONIST WHERE?

121. IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

122. COME ON DOWN HERE, CONNIE, AND SAY HELLO.

123. IS THAT YOUR HUSBAND?

124. YEAH.

125. SHE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE DOCTOR.

126. CONNIE'S A RECEPTIONIST AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

127. SHE DOES A FINE JOB.

128. AND I WANT TO SING — I WANT YOU TO SING TO HER

129. IN THE STYLE OF A JUMPING-JIVE SONG.

130. SING TO CONNIE, THE DOCTOR'S RECEPTIONIST.

131. GO, BABY.

132. WHOO!

133. WHERE'S THE DOCTOR?

134. THANK YOU, CONNIE.

135. WHOO!

136. HA HA HA. MAN, SHE'S —

137. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO DO WITH THAT STOOL,

138. BUT I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR RUNNING.

139. HA HA HA.

140. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED —

141. THIS GAME IS CALLED "SCENES FROM A HAT."

142. IT'S FOR ALL OF YOU. THIS IS OUR HAT.

143. WE ASKED THE AUDIENCE TO WRITE DOWN SUGGESTIONS.

144. WE TAKE THE GOOD ONES,

145. AND WE TRY TO SEE HOW MANY THEY CAN ACT OUT.

146. SO, HERE WE GO.

147. "BASEBALL UMPIRES AT HOME."

148. CLEAN YOUR ROOM! CLEAN YOUR ROOM!

149. HONEY, I'M FEELING A BIT SEXY TONIGHT.

150. "ILL-ADVISED VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS."

151. IT'S A GUN.

152. I'LL GIVE YOU THE BULLETS AT CHRISTMAS.

153. DON'T TELL ME

154. YOU ALREADY HAVE THE HEAD OF A GOAT.

155. IT'S "THE LORENA BOBBITT STORY." IT'S FOR YOU.

156. THIS IS TO REMEMBER ME BY.

157. IT'S A PICTURE OF ME WITH MY LOVER.

158. "FAVORITE PRANKS OF NUNS."

159. AAH!

160. NO, NO. REALLY, IT'S TRUE.

161. ALL NUNS CAN FLY.

162. "OTHER THINGS" — HA HA.

163. "OTHER THINGS THE FIRST MAN ON THE MOON

164. MIGHT HAVE SAID."

165. OH, I HOPE I GET BACK.

166. WHEE!

167. A STARBUCKS?

168. I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT 3-BEAN SALAD.

169. OH!

170. ALL RIGHT.

171. "OPENING LINES TO FOREIGN NATIONAL THEMS."

172. "LINES YOU WOULDN'T HEAR IN A WESTERN."

173. NO, THIS TOWN'S BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US.

174. "REJECTED 'JEOPARDY!' CATEGORIES."

175. YEAH, I'LL TAKE FAMOUS KLANSMEN FOR $200, PLEASE.

176. UH, DREW CAREY'S LINGERIE FOR $50.

177. I'LL TAKE THINGS NOBODY KNOWS FOR $1,000.

178. HA HA HA.

179. I'LL TAKE ANIMAL GENITALIA AUDIO CLUES.

180. "PEOPLE WHO WON'T BE APPEARING

181. ON CURRENCY ANY TIME SOON."

182. OH, I CAN'T BREAK A LEWINSKY.

183. OH, THAT'S ENOUGH!

184. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL.

185. WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

186. DON'T GO ANYWHERE.

187. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSEINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

188. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

189. BY THE WAY, I'M VERY PROUD

190. THAT DUE TO THE SUCCESS OF THIS SHOW,

191. AMATEUR IMPROVISATION IS AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH HERE

192. IN THE UNITED STATES. THANKS.

193. BUT, HOWEVER, IT DOESN'T MEAN

194. YOU SHOULD KEEP SENDING US YOUR CRUMMY TAPES.

195. REALLY PROUD YOU TOOK A CLASS, BUT STOP IT.

196. LET'S CONTINUE ON WITH THE SHOW

197. WITH A GAME CALLED "WHOSE LINE?" —

198. BELIEVE IT OR NOT — FOR COLIN AND RYAN.

199. BEFORE EACH SHOW, WE HAVE THE AUDIENCE WRITE STUFF.

200. THEY SPLICE SO RANDOM LINES.

201. THIS IS FOR RYAN. COLIN, THIS IS YOURS.

202. TAKE THEM OUT AND PUT THEM IN YOUR POCKET.

203. THEY'RE GOING TO USE THOSE LINES,

204. AND THE SCENE IS RYAN IS RHETT BUTLER.

205. COLIN IS SCARLETT O'HARA.

206. RYAN ALWAYS —

207. THAT'S HOW IT GOES IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

208. RHETT FINALLY TELLS SCARLETT THAT HE'S LEAVING.

209. RHETT'S NOT ITALIAN, RIGHT?

210. NO.

211. SCARLETT...

212. I'M AFRAID I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LEAVE.

213. WELL, FIDDLE-DEE-DEE.

214. I DON'T CARE.

215. SCARLETT, I KNOW I'VE SAID A LOT OF THINGS TO YOU...

216. WHY DON'T YOU STOP CHEWING TOBACCO?

217. SCARLETT, I LOVE YOU,

218. AND IF YOU RUN AWAY WITH ME —

219. WELL, IF YOU RUN AWAY WITH ME,

220. YOU'D LOOK LIKE TWO PIGS WRESTLING UNDER A BLANKET.

221. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, SCARLETT,

222. ME AND YOU UNDER A BLANKET LIKE PIGS?

223. WHEN YOU TALK LIKE THAT,

224. I ALMOST WANT TO GO WITH YOU,

225. BUT I'LL NEVER FORGET THE LAST FIGHT WE HAD

226. WHEN YOU LOOKED AT ME AND YOU SHOUTED,

227. "HEY, WHAT SMELLS?"

228. I TOLD YOU

229. I NEVER WOULD GO HUNGRY AGAIN.

230. DAMN IT.

231. DAMN IT, SCARLETT. ATLANTA WAS BURNING.

232. I SMELLED SOMETHING.

233. IT WAS THE PORK ROAST!

234. YOU'RE MY LITTLE PORK ROAST.

235. WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND THE PIG ANALOGIES?

236. SCARLETT, I'VE HAD A LOCKET MADE UP FOR YOU.

237. I PUT SOMETHING INSIDE, A LITTLE VERSE

238. THAT I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER ME BY.

239. OPEN IT UP. I'LL READ IT TO YOU.

240. I'M WEARING A THONG.

241. THAT'S WHY MY FACE IS LIKE THIS, SCARLETT.

242. RHETT! RHETT!

243. I'M WEARING A THONG, TOO,

244. BUT TWO THONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT.

245. SCARLETT, I LOVE YOU, BUT I'M NOT GOING

246. TO BEG YOU TO GO AWAY WITH ME.

247. I'LL JUST LEAVE.

248. WELL, DON'T LEAVE BEFORE I TELL YOU THIS.

249. I'VE BEEN FIGHTING IT,

250. FIGHTING IT, FIGHTING IT, BUT I CAN'T.

251. RHETT, MY DARLING...

252. YES?

253. WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, WILLIS?

254. THAT WAS GREAT. 1,000 POINTS FOR EACH OF YOU

255. AND A SPECIAL OFFER — 200 POINTS TO EVERY KID

256. WHO CALLS THEIR LOCAL ABC AFFILIATE RIGHT NOW

257. AND SAYS "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

258. IS THE BEST DAMN SHOW ON TELEVISION.

259. LET'S DO A GAME CALLED "HOEDOWN."

260. COME ON UP

261. FOR THE BIG HOEDOWN WITH LAURA HALL

262. ON THE PIANO — LAURA HALL.

263. I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE A SUGGESTION

264. FOR A GROUP OF PEOPLE

265. OR A TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU TE.

266. LAWYERS!

267. MEN!

268. MEN, OKAY.

269. YOU KNOW WHAT?

270. AS A FAVOR TO YOU,

271. WE'LL DO THE "MEN" HOEDOWN.

272. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, TAKE IT AWAY.

273. WHOO!

274. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE?"

275. RIGHT AFTER THIS. DON'T GO AWAY.

276. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

277. TONIGHT'S WINNER — CHIP ESTEN.

278. HOW ABOUT IT, CHIP? NICE JOB.

279. WE'RE GOING TO DO "QUESTIONS ONLY."

280. WAYNE AND I WILL START. YOU GUYS GO ON THE SIDES.

281. WE CAN ONLY SPEAK IN QUESTIONS.

282. THAT'S ALL WE'RE ALLOWED TO DO.

283. IT'S ALSO A GREAT PARTY GAME. WHAT I NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

284. IS THE NAME OF A REAL HORROR FILM.

285. "GODZILLA."

286. ALL RIGHT, "GODZILLA."

287. AND OKAY, WE'RE GOING TO SPEAK IN QUESTIONS ONLY.

288. IF ONE OF US MESSES UP, CHIP'S GOING TO BUZZ US OUT.

289. SO IT'S "GODZILLA."

290. WHAT IS THAT?

291. HUH?

292. WHO ARE YOU?

293. WOULD YOU BELIEVE

294. THAT I'M FROM THE JAPANESE ROCKET CONTROL FORCE?

295. IS THAT AN I.D.?

296. WOULD YOU HELP ME DEFEAT THE MONSTER?

297. WELL, WHAT DO I DO?

298. DO YOU WANT TO GRAB ON?

299. WHAT'S UP?

300. I WOULD LIKE —

301. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

302. DIDN'T YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BIG LIZARD?

303. DIDN'T YOU READ IT IN THE PAPER?

304. WHAT HAPPENED?

305. CAN'T YOU SEE?

306. HAVE YOU SEEN MY PARTNER?

307. WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?

308. HAVE YOU SEEN A GUY WEARING CANARY YELLOW?

309. AAH!

310. PLEASE HELP ME!

311. ARE YOU GOING TO GO KILL HIM?

312. ARE YOU GAY?

313. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT DREW CAREY IS THE ONLY MAN

314. THAT CAN GIVE YOU THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION?

315. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT JUST HAPPENED THERE?

316. I DON'T KNOW.

317. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK RIGHT AFTER THIS.

318. WHAT IS A COMMERCIAL FOR?

319. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

320. TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE RYAN AND CHIP

321. DO THE CREDITS FOR US.

322. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE YOU GUYS READ THE CREDITS.

323. I WANT RYAN TO CONVINCE CHIP THAT HE'S NOT GAY.

324. THANKS FOR WATCHING. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

325. BUT DAN PATTERSON AND MARK LEVESON —

326. I MEAN, LOOK AT THEM.

327. BUT IF SOMEONE TALKS ABOUT IT LIKE THAT...

328. THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO HIDE SOMETHING.

329. I SAW YOU LOOKING AT DAN CUTFORTH.

330. DREW CAREY'S THE GAYEST OF THE GAY, MAN.

331. WHAT, DO YOU THINK THEY GAVE HIM A PORSCHE

332. BECAUSE OF HIS SHOW?

333. HE DOESN'T EVEN LOOK AT ALISON. I MEAN...

334. WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE AT THE CLUB.

335. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO AHEAD?

336. I WANT TO WATCH "AMERICAN GLADIATORS."

337. WHAT'S THE COLOGNE YOU'RE WEARING?

338. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.