Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4

Directed by

Greg Proops as Self • Darren Criss as Self • Jeff Bryan Davis as Self

Actor Darren Criss; guest comics Jeff Davis and Greg Proops.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

2. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW —

3. HAS GONE BEFORE — GREG PROOPS.

4. FOR WAYNE BRADY.

5. IT'S WORSE THAN THAT. HE'S DEAD — COLIN MOCHRIE.

6. AND IF I GIVE HER ANY MORE, SHE'LL BLOW — RYAN STILES.

7. AND I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

8. COME ON DOWN. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9. HELLO! HELLO!

10. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

11. "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

12. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP,

13. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER,

14. OF A PORNO MOVIE.

15. IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THIS SHOW BEFORE, WHAT HAPPENS

16. TO MAKE UP EVERYTHING YOU SEE,

17. AND THEN I GIVE THEM POINTS, WHICH DON'T MATTER,

18. AND THEN WE PICK A WINNER,

19. THAT'S FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY,

20. DEPENDING, OF COURSE, ON HOW YOU RAISED YOUR FAMILY.

21. HA HA!

22. LET'S START WITH THE FIRST GAME,

23. CALLED "LET'S MAKE A DATE."

24. RYAN, COLIN, AND GREG, YOU'RE GOING TO BE CONTESTANTS

25. ON A "DATING GAME"-TYPE SHOW, HOPING TO BE PICKED BY WAYNE,

26. BUT WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU EACH A STRANGE CHARASTERISTIC.

27. ALL I GOT TO DO IS READ THIS. HOW ABOUT THAT?

28. A STRANGE CHARACTERISTIC.

29. WAYNE, YOU'RE GOING TO SEE

30. ON A DATE WITH.

31. WHEN YOU'RE READY, WAYNE, OFF YOU GO.

32. HELLO, BACHELORS.

33. SATAN IS IN THIS HOUSE, YOU SLATTERN!

34. SATAN'S IN THE HOUSE, IT'S A PARTY, HEY!

35. YOU SO SILLY, BACHELOR NUMBER ONE.

36. NO, BUT, REALLY, BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,

37. WITH WINE SOMETIMES.

38. GOOD CULINARY DELIGHTS.

39. YOUR PALATE?

40. I JUST LIKE MEAT. MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!

41. FRESH MEAT!

42. MM, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU MY MISSING LINK.

43. BACHELOR NUMBER THREE, HELLO!

44. YEAH, HELLO.

45. EVERY NOW AND THEN, I LIKE TO SHAKE THE BOOTY,

46. YOUR GROOVE THING?

47. I DON'T SHAKE MY GROOVE THING,

48. DON'T SHAKE THEIRS.

49. I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO WORK THE POLE,

50. BUT YOU CAN'T TOUCH, OR YOU'RE OUT.

51. OF AN ATTITUDE.

52. I'LL CUT YOU.

53. CARTOONS.

54. ON A SATURDAY MORNING?

55. PRAY...

56. FROM THIS CHILD!

57. GO, DE—

58. COMPELS YOU.

59. COMPELS YOU.

60. THE POWER...

61. STAY OUT!

62. SIT DOWN! SIT DOWN! BOTH OF YOU, SIT DOWN!

63. BOTH OF YOU.

64. SIT DOWN.

65. WHOO, IT SOUNDED LIKE SOMEBODY WAS GOING TO GET BODY CHECKED.

66. NOW, BACHELOR NUMBER TWO, THE SAME QUESTION FOR YOU.

67. BEGONE, DEMON!

68. BEGONE, DEMON!

69. OKAY, WAYNE, TIME TO GUESS WHO THEY ARE.

70. LET'S SEE.

71. IS A TV EVANGELIST.

72. IN THIS COUNTRY. IN OTHER COUNTRIES...

73. I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE — "OUT, DEMON."

74. OH, HE'S AN EXORCISER.

75. HA HA HA!

76. YEAH, AN EXORCISER.

77. FOR THE LORD.

78. OKAY, BACHELOR NUMBER TWO WAS AN IRATE HOCKEY PLAYER.

79. YEAH, THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.

80. CANADIAN HOCKEY PLAYER, YEAH.

81. 'CAUSE I HAD NOTHING TO DRAW FROM ON THIS.

82. AT A MOVIE THEATER.

83. YES.

84. CLOSE ENOUGH! CLOSE ENOUGH!

85. BOUNCER.

86. A STRICLUB BOUNCER.

87. TO BE A STRIP CLUB BOUNCER.

88. WOMEN TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES,

89. 20 BUCKS —

90. I DON'T APPROVE, BUT THAT'S —

91. YOU KNOW, IT WAS TOUGH FOR YOU TO DO,

92. SO I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU 5,000 POINTS.

93. OKAY, LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "FILM DUB."

94. WE'RE GOING TO SHOW

95. TO RYAN, GREG, AND COLIN.

96. THEY'RE GOING TO PROVIDE

97. THEY'RE GOING TO PROVIDE THE VOICES FOR THE CLIP,

98. AND THE SCENE I'D LIKE YOU

99. IS "ONE DAY IN THE SALOON."

100. BEER. WHO WANTS BEER?

101. OH!

102. GOSH DARN YOU, YOU BIG...

103. HEY, MISTER, HOW'D YOU LIKE A COLD DRINK?

104. HA HA!

105. THERE YOU GO.

106. WHAT'S THIS BIT OF TROUBLE?

107. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT ACCENT.

108. OF COURSE I'VE GOT AN ACCENT.

109. DON'T YOU KNOW NORWEGIAN WHEN YOU HEAR IT?

110. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, WHAT'S ALL THE FIGHTING HERE?

111. YOU'RE A SCARY MAN IN A BLACK HAT.

112. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, FATHER?

113. WELL, I'VE COME TO TEACH

114. WELL, I WORK IN A SALOON, AND I'M ONLY 8.

115. OH, HE'S 14 IF HE'S A DAY.

116. AND YOU — HOW OLD ARE YOU?

117. YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A CONFESSION TO MAKE MYSELF.

118. I'M NOT REALLY A PRIEST. I'VE GOT MY SHIRT ON BACKWARDS.

119. THAT'S OKAY.

120. MAYBE YOU'D LIKE SOMETHING DELICIOUS AND FROTHY.

121. I'VE GOT IT IN THE BACK.

122. BILLY, BILLY, BILLY...

123. I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING.

124. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. SO LONG!

125. 1,000 POINTS FOR EVERYBODY!

126. USUALLY 1,000, BUT, FOR YOU, 999!

127. I'M GIVING THE POINTS AWAY! ONLY 999!

128. I'M CRAZY!

129. NOW LET'S GO ON TO A GAME

130. "3-HEADED BROADWAY STAR"

131. FOR WAYNE, COLIN, AND RYAN.

132. IN THIS GAME,

133. THEY'RE GOING TO BE SINGING A BROADWAY HIT,

134. AT A TIME,

135. ON PIANO AND GUITAR.

136. HEY, SPEAKING OF MUSICALS,

137. LOOK FOR "GEPPETTO" HERE ON ABC,

138. COMING THIS MAY, STARRING DREW CAREY.

139. OF AN UNLIKELY MUSICAL.

140. "BOB."

141. WHAT?

142. "BOB."

143. "BOB"?

144. ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE GAME, I'M GAME.

145. "BOB," THE MUSICAL.

146. FROM THAT SHOW IS CALLED...

147. Woman #2: "FLEA DIP."

148. "FLEA DIP."

149. "FLEA DIP"

150. FROM THE HIT MUSICAL "BOB."

151. HA!

152. I ALMOST ADDED TO YOUR "AWAY" BY GOING "OOH-WAY."

153. HEY, DON'T GO AWAY.

154. WE'RE GOING TO SEE A COMMERCIAL.

155. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

156. DON'T GO ANYWHERE.

157. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",

158. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP, AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

159. TONIGHT'S WINNER GETS

160. OF CHAP STICK.

161. THAT'S RIGHT, ONE TUBE OF CHAP STICK.

162. IT'LL LAST YOU THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

163. OKAY, LET'S GO ON

164. CALLED "FILM, TV, AND THEATER STYLES."

165. RYAN, COLIN, AND GREG, YOU'RE GOING TO ACT OUT A SCENE,

166. BUT I'M GOING TO MAKE THEM

167. TO SUGGEST TO ME.

168. OR FILMS OR THEATER...

169. IS A GOOD ONE.

170. BERGMAN.

171. IS GOOD.

172. "THE REAL WORLD"!

173. "REAL WORLD." OH, YEAH.

174. HA HA!

175. REAL TO WHO? THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.

176. YEAH, WE ALL LIVE IN HAWAII.

177. OKAY, THEY'RE GOING TO START A SCENE OUT AS NORMAL,

178. AND I'M GOING TO COME IN

179. AFTER THEY GET STARTED,

180. OF THE CURSED MUMMY — COLIN.

181. SO START NORMAL, AND I'LL COME IN

182. AS SOON AS YOU GET STARTED.

183. TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK,

184. TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK...

185. WHY DON'T WE TRY THE HANDLE?

186. HUH?

187. ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO IT THEN, GREG?

188. HEY, THERE'S NO NEED TO GET HUFFY ABOUT IT.

189. WE'RE BOTH ACCREDITED SCIENTISTS.

190. THAT'S TRUE.

191. THERE IT IS.

192. MY TOMB?

193. MY GOD!

194. IT'S THE MUMMY FROM CANADA!

195. AND I —

196. HAD CURED BALDNESS.

197. HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA.

198. FOUNDED THE MUMMY,

199. HAS OFFERED US,

200. AND THEN, WHEN WE ARE FAMOUS,

201. WE CAN HAVE LOTS OF MONEY, AND THEN WE'LL BE RICH, TOO,

202. ON DISCOVERY CHANNEL...

203. AND STUFF, RIGHT?

204. BERGMAN FILM.

205. CURSED FOR MANY YEARS.

206. I HAVE FOUND YOU, AND NOW I AM CURSED.

207. HA HA HA HA!

208. HA HA HA HA!

209. WELL, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS, CHARLIE?

210. NO, I HAVE NOT.

211. HA HA HA HA!

212. AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL.

213. CAN'T YOU SEE? THE MUMMY'S GOT A PROBLEM.

214. HE'S ON RUGS.

215. HEY, MAN, JUST SAY NO TO RUGS.

216. THAT'S EASY FOR YOU.

217. I'M SO TIGHTLY WRAPPED, I COULD GO OFF AT ANY MINUTE.

218. "THE REAL WORLD."

219. DUDE, I'M DRUNK.

220. OKAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

221. WELL, I GOT TO IMAGINE RYAN NAKED,

222. SO 1,000 POINTS FOR YOU, RYAN.

223. NOLET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "GREATEST HITS."

224. "GREATEST HITS" — THIS IS FOR COLIN, RYAN, AND WAYNE,

225. WITH LAURA HALL, AND LINDA TAYLOR ON GUITAR.

226. COMPILATION ALBUM,

227. SNIPPETS OF THE SONGS,

228. IF HE CAN.

229. THAT'S RIGHT.

230. HA HA HA HA.

231. SO, WHAT WE NEED

232. YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY SING SONGS ABOUT.

233. I HEARD ENGLISH TEACHER, SOMEONE SAID?

234. OKAY, STOP.

235. WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO

236. IS "SONGS OF THE DOG WALKER," A FINE PROFESSION.

237. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, GO AHEAD.

238. HI, WE'LL BE BACK TO YOUR SPECIAL MOVIE,

239. "FULL OF MONTY," IN A MOMENT,

240. BUT FIRST, HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU.

241. THE BEATLES, ROLLING STONES,

242. BARBRA STREISAND,

243. IF WE USED THEIR SONGS.

244. YOU KNOW, THERE'S SO MANY

245. THEM IN JUST THIS SET.

246. BOY, WE SHOULD HAVE "SONGS OF THE ENGLISH TEACHER"

247. TO HELP YOU OUT.

248. STOP IT NOW.

249. "SCOOP IT UP."

250. OH.

251. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

252. THAT SONG AT OUR WEDDING.

253. ONLY LASTED A WEEK.

254. STOP.

255. YOU KNOW, IN THE 1970s, WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,

256. FROM SCHOOL.

257. VERY CLOSE TO MY HEART,

258. "DON'T BE SNIFFIN' THERE."

259. DAMN!

260. HEY, COL, HOW MUCH

261. FOR A 500-CD SET SUCH AS THIS?

262. I'M NOT TELLING YOU.

263. HA HA HA HA!

264. YOU KNOW, COLIN —

265. WHAT, RYAN?

266. WITH THE THIRD WIFE,

267. THERE'S ONLY ONE SONG,

268. SEEMS TO DO IT.

269. WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

270. "NO MORE SOFT FOOD FOR YOU."

271. ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS GREAT.

272. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

273. DON'T GO AWAY. WE'RE GOING TO SEE A COMMERCIAL.

274. WHEN WE COME BACK,

275. SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ME.

276. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

277. TONIGHT'S WINNER — WAYNE BRADY!

278. WAYNE BRADY'S THE WINNER,

279. SO HE'S GOING TO SIT AT THE DESK.

280. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DO A GAME CALLED "WORLD'S WORST,"

281. SO WHY DON'T WE STEP UP TO THE "WORLD'S WORST" STEP,

282. AND WE'RE GOING

283. OF THE WORLD'S WORST WHAT, WAYNE?

284. YOU'RE GIVING EXAMPLES OF THE WORLD'S WORST THINGS

285. AWARDS CEREMONY.

286. HEY, ALL YOU

287. SCREW YOU.

288. THAT SEPARATES GERMANY.

289. THANK YOU.

290. UM, BILL — BILL COULDN'T

291. BECAUSE, UH, HE'S A RAGING ALCOHOLIC,

292. THAT IF HE WAS HERE,

293. HE'D JUST GO, "UGH."

294. I'M THE GREATEST DIRECTOR OF ALL TIME! WHOO-HOO!

295. I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD! WHOO!

296. THANK YOU. I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYBODY I'VE EVER MET.

297. JIM, SARAH, BOB...

298. SHIRLEY, PHIL, AUNT DORIS...

299. UNCLE PETER, HENRY FONDA,

300. JILL THE WEATHER GIRL,

301. SUSAN, MY FIRST WIFE CHERYL, DICK YORK...

302. YOU TOLERATE ME! YOU REALLY, REALLY TOLERATE ME!

303. WELL, I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO MADE THIS — WHAT?

304. SATAN IS MY MASTER?

305. THE DREW CAREY AWARD.

306. LUCKY GUY WITH GLASSES A YEAR,

307. AND, GOSH DARN IT,

308. TONIGHT, I'M THE KING OF THE GENERAL AREA.

309. OH, THAT'S IT. DON'T GO AWAY.

310. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

311. WE'RE GOING TO END THE SHOW

312. AS TWO CATTLE AUCTIONEERS.

313. TWO CATTLE AUCTIONEERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

314. WE'VE GOT A FINE HEIFER HERE NAMED DAN PATTERSON.

315. FOR THAT HEIFER?

316. DAN PATTERSON, WE HEAR ONCE, DAN PATTERSON TWICE.

317. LOOK AT THAT TOM PARK.

318. OH, WE GOT A BIG HEIFER HERE. WE GOT WAYNE BRADY.

319. FOR WAYNE BRADY?

320. FOR THIS COLIN MOCHRIE?

321. HE'S A FINE COW.

322. HE'S CANADIAN. HE'S ONLY BEEN USED ONCE

323. NATURAL BRANDING, RIGHT THERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

324. ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.