Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4

Directed by

Greg Proops as Self • Darren Criss as Self • Jeff Bryan Davis as Self

Actor Darren Criss; guest comics Jeff Davis and Greg Proops.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x4 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

2. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW —

3. BOLDLY GOING WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE — GREG PROOPS.

4. SET PHASERS TO STUN FOR WAYNE BRADY.

5. IT'S WORSE THAN THAT. HE'S DEAD — COLIN MOCHRIE.

6. AND IF I GIVE HER ANY MORE, SHE'LL BLOW — RYAN STILES.

7. AND I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

8. COME ON DOWN. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9. HELLO! HELLO!

10. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

11. "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

12. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP,

13. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER,

14. JUST LIKE THE PLOT OF A PORNO MOVIE.

15. IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THIS SHOW BEFORE, WHAT HAPPENS

16. IS THESE FOUR GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE UP EVERYTHING YOU SEE,

17. AND THEN I GIVE THEM POINTS, WHICH DON'T MATTER,

18. AND THEN WE PICK A WINNER,

19. AND THE WINNER GETS TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU

20. THAT'S FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY,

21. DEPENDING, OF COURSE, ON HOW YOU RAISED YOUR FAMILY.

22. HA HA!

23. LET'S START WITH THE FIRST GAME,

24. CALLED "LET'S MAKE A DATE."

25. RYAN, COLIN, AND GREG, YOU'RE GOING TO BE CONTESTANTS

26. ON A "DATING GAME"-TYPE SHOW, HOPING TO BE PICKED BY WAYNE,

27. BUT WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU EACH A STRANGE CHARASTERISTIC.

28. ALL I GOT TO DO IS READ THIS. HOW ABOUT THAT?

29. EACH OF THEM HAS BEEN GIVEN A STRANGE CHARACTERISTIC.

30. WAYNE, YOU'RE GOING TO SEE WHO YOU WANT TO GO OUT

31. ON A DATE WITH.

32. WHEN YOU'RE READY, WAYNE, OFF YOU GO.

33. HELLO, BACHELORS.

34. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE —

35. SATAN IS IN THIS HOUSE, YOU SLATTERN!

36. SATAN'S IN THE HOUSE, IT'S A PARTY, HEY!

37. YOU SO SILLY, BACHELOR NUMBER ONE.

38. NO, BUT, REALLY, BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,

39. I LIKE A GOOD FINE CHEESE WITH WINE SOMETIMES.

40. I LIKE A MAN

41. WHO APPRECIATES GOOD CULINARY DELIGHTS.

42. WHAT TANTALIZES YOUR PALATE?

43. I JUST LIKE MEAT. MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!

44. FRESH MEAT!

45. MM, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU MY MISSING LINK.

46. BACHELOR NUMBER THREE, HELLO!

47. YEAH, HELLO.

48. EVERY NOW AND THEN, I LIKE TO SHAKE THE BOOTY,

49. SO I WANT TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF MUSIC

50. MAKES YOU SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING?

51. I DON'T SHAKE MY GROOVE THING,

52. AND I MAKE SURE OTHER PEOPLE DON'T SHAKE THEIRS.

53. I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO WORK THE POLE,

54. BUT YOU CAN'T TOUCH, OR YOU'RE OUT.

55. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT

56. A LITTLE BIT OF AN ATTITUDE.

57. YOU BETTER WATCH IT — I'LL CUT YOU.

58. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE —

59. I LOVE SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS.

60. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO ON A SATURDAY MORNING?

61. PRAY...

62. UNTIL THE DEMON IS GONE FROM THIS CHILD!

63. GO, DE—

64. THE POWER OF THE LORD COMPELS YOU.

65. THE POWER OF THE LORD COMPELS YOU.

66. THE POWER...

67. STAY OUT!

68. SIT DOWN! SIT DOWN! BOTH OF YOU, SIT DOWN!

69. BOTH OF YOU.

70. SIT DOWN.

71. WHOO, IT SOUNDED LIKE SOMEBODY WAS GOING TO GET BODY CHECKED.

72. NOW, BACHELOR NUMBER TWO, THE SAME QUESTION FOR YOU.

73. WHAT DO YOU ENJOY DOING ON A SAT—

74. BEGONE, DEMON!

75. BEGONE, DEMON!

76. OKAY, WAYNE, TIME TO GUESS WHO THEY ARE.

77. LET'S SEE.

78. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE IS A TV EVANGELIST.

79. IN THIS COUNTRY. IN OTHER COUNTRIES...

80. I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE — "OUT, DEMON."

81. OH, HE'S AN EXORCISER.

82. HA HA HA!

83. YEAH, AN EXORCISER.

84. HE DOES TAE-BO FOR THE LORD.

85. OKAY, BACHELOR NUMBER TWO WAS AN IRATE HOCKEY PLAYER.

86. YEAH, THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.

87. CANADIAN HOCKEY PLAYER, YEAH.

88. BACHELOR NUMBER THREE —

89. THIS WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME

90. 'CAUSE I HAD NOTHING TO DRAW FROM ON THIS.

91. YOU WERE AN USHER AT A MOVIE THEATER.

92. YES.

93. CLOSE ENOUGH! CLOSE ENOUGH!

94. HE WAS A STRIP CLUB BOUNCER.

95. A STRICLUB BOUNCER.

96. RYAN HAD TO PRETEND TO BE A STRIP CLUB BOUNCER.

97. STRIP CLUBS ARE A PLACE WHERE WOMEN TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES,

98. YOU GIVE THEM 20 BUCKS —

99. I DON'T APPROVE, BUT THAT'S —

100. YOU KNOW, IT WAS TOUGH FOR YOU TO DO,

101. SO I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU 5,000 POINTS.

102. OKAY, LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "FILM DUB."

103. WE'RE GOING TO SHOW A PIECE OF FILM

104. TO RYAN, GREG, AND COLIN.

105. THEY'RE GOING TO PROVIDE THE VOICES —

106. THEY'RE GOING TO PROVIDE THE VOICES FOR THE CLIP,

107. AND THE SCENE I'D LIKE YOU TO IMPROVISE

108. IS "ONE DAY IN THE SALOON."

109. BEER. WHO WANTS BEER?

110. OH!

111. GOSH DARN YOU, YOU BIG...

112. HEY, MISTER, HOW'D YOU LIKE A COLD DRINK?

113. HA HA!

114. THERE YOU GO.

115. WHAT'S THIS BIT OF TROUBLE?

116. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT ACCENT.

117. OF COURSE I'VE GOT AN ACCENT.

118. DON'T YOU KNOW NORWEGIAN WHEN YOU HEAR IT?

119. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, WHAT'S ALL THE FIGHTING HERE?

120. YOU'RE A SCARY MAN IN A BLACK HAT.

121. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, FATHER?

122. WELL, I'VE COME TO TEACH THE WORD OF GOD TO ALL THE —

123. WELL, I WORK IN A SALOON, AND I'M ONLY 8.

124. OH, HE'S 14 IF HE'S A DAY.

125. AND YOU — HOW OLD ARE YOU?

126. YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT A CONFESSION TO MAKE MYSELF.

127. I'M NOT REALLY A PRIEST. I'VE GOT MY SHIRT ON BACKWARDS.

128. THAT'S OKAY.

129. MAYBE YOU'D LIKE SOMETHING DELICIOUS AND FROTHY.

130. I'VE GOT IT IN THE BACK.

131. BILLY, BILLY, BILLY...

132. I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING.

133. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. SO LONG!

134. 1,000 POINTS FOR EVERYBODY!

135. USUALLY 1,000, BUT, FOR YOU, 999!

136. I'M GIVING THE POINTS AWAY! ONLY 999!

137. I'M CRAZY!

138. NOW LET'S GO ON TO A GAME

139. CALLED "3-HEADED BROADWAY STAR"

140. FOR WAYNE, COLIN, AND RYAN.

141. IN THIS GAME,

142. THEY'RE GOING TO BE SINGING A BROADWAY HIT,

143. EACH MAKING UP ONE WORD AT A TIME,

144. WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR

145. ON PIANO AND GUITAR.

146. HEY, SPEAKING OF MUSICALS,

147. LOOK FOR "GEPPETTO" HERE ON ABC,

148. COMING THIS MAY, STARRING DREW CAREY.

149. WHAT WE NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

150. IS THE NAME OF AN UNLIKELY MUSICAL.

151. "BOB."

152. WHAT?

153. "BOB."

154. "BOB"?

155. ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE GAME, I'M GAME.

156. "BOB," THE MUSICAL.

157. THE BIG HIT LOVE SONG FROM THAT SHOW IS CALLED...

158. Woman #2: "FLEA DIP."

159. "FLEA DIP."

160. THE BIG HIT LOVE SONG "FLEA DIP"

161. FROM THE HIT MUSICAL "BOB."

162. HA!

163. I ALMOST ADDED TO YOUR "AWAY" BY GOING "OOH-WAY."

164. HEY, DON'T GO AWAY.

165. WE'RE GOING TO SEE A COMMERCIAL.

166. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

167. DON'T GO ANYWHERE.

168. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",

169. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP, AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

170. TONIGHT'S WINNER GETS

171. A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF CHAP STICK.

172. THAT'S RIGHT, ONE TUBE OF CHAP STICK.

173. IT'LL LAST YOU THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

174. OKAY, LET'S GO ON TO A GAME

175. CALLED "FILM, TV, AND THEATER STYLES."

176. RYAN, COLIN, AND GREG, YOU'RE GOING TO ACT OUT A SCENE,

177. BUT I'M GOING TO MAKE THEM ADOPT DIFFERENT STYLES

178. THAT OUR AUDIENCE IS GOING TO SUGGEST TO ME.

179. NOW WHAT I NEED FROM YOU

180. IS STYLES OF TELEVISION SHOWS OR FILMS OR THEATER...

181. HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA IS A GOOD ONE.

182. BERGMAN.

183. AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL IS GOOD.

184. "THE REAL WORLD"!

185. "REAL WORLD." OH, YEAH.

186. HA HA!

187. REAL TO WHO? THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.

188. YEAH, WE ALL LIVE IN HAWAII.

189. OKAY, THEY'RE GOING TO START A SCENE OUT AS NORMAL,

190. AND I'M GOING TO COME IN WITH THESE STYLES

191. AFTER THEY GET STARTED, AND YOUR SCENE IS

192. RYAN ANDREG ARE TWO ARCHAEOLOGISTS

193. ABOUT TO OPEN THE TOMB OF THE CURSED MUMMY — COLIN.

194. SO START NORMAL, AND I'LL COME IN

195. WITH ANOTHER STYLE AS SOON AS YOU GET STARTED.

196. TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK,

197. TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK...

198. WHY DON'T WE TRY THE HANDLE?

199. HUH?

200. ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO IT THEN, GREG?

201. HEY, THERE'S NO NEED TO GET HUFFY ABOUT IT.

202. WE'RE BOTH ACCREDITED SCIENTISTS.

203. THAT'S TRUE.

204. THERE IT IS.

205. WHO HAS DISTURBED MY TOMB?

206. MY GOD!

207. IT'S THE MUMMY FROM CANADA!

208. AND I —

209. I THOUGHT THE EGYPTIANS HAD CURED BALDNESS.

210. HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA.

211. NOW THAT WE HAVE FOUNDED THE MUMMY,

212. WE MAY GO BACK TO EUROPE AND CLAIM THE REWARD

213. THAT THE NATIONAL SOCIETY HAS OFFERED US,

214. AND THEN, WHEN WE ARE FAMOUS,

215. WE CAN HAVE LOTS OF MONEY, AND THEN WE'LL BE RICH, TOO,

216. AND HAVE OUR OWN SHOW ON DISCOVERY CHANNEL...

217. AND STUFF, RIGHT?

218. BERGMAN FILM.

219. I HAVE BEEN CURSED FOR MANY YEARS.

220. I HAVE FOUND YOU, AND NOW I AM CURSED.

221. HA HA HA HA!

222. HA HA HA HA!

223. WELL, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS, CHARLIE?

224. NO, I HAVE NOT.

225. HA HA HA HA!

226. AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL.

227. CAN'T YOU SEE? THE MUMMY'S GOT A PROBLEM.

228. HE'S ON RUGS.

229. HEY, MAN, JUST SAY NO TO RUGS.

230. THAT'S EASY FOR YOU.

231. I'M SO TIGHTLY WRAPPED, I COULD GO OFF AT ANY MINUTE.

232. "THE REAL WORLD."

233. DUDE, I'M DRUNK.

234. YOU GUYS — YOU GUYS — YOU GUYS —

235. OKAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

236. WELL, I GOT TO IMAGINE RYAN NAKED,

237. SO 1,000 POINTS FOR YOU, RYAN.

238. NOLET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "GREATEST HITS."

239. "GREATEST HITS" — THIS IS FOR COLIN, RYAN, AND WAYNE,

240. WITH LAURA HALL, AND LINDA TAYLOR ON GUITAR.

241. COLIN AND RYAN ARE GOING TO BE TV VOICE-OVER GUYS

242. TALKING ABOUT THE LATEST COMPILATION ALBUM,

243. AND WAYNE IS GOING TO SING SNIPPETS OF THE SONGS,

244. IF HE CAN.

245. THAT'S RIGHT.

246. HA HA HA HA.

247. SO, WHAT WE NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

248. IS A SUGGESTION OF A SORT OF PROFESSION

249. YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY SING SONGS ABOUT.

250. I HEARD ENGLISH TEACHER, SOMEONE SAID?

251. DOG WALKER — OKAY, STOP.

252. WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO

253. IS "SONGS OF THE DOG WALKER," A FINE PROFESSION.

254. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, GO AHEAD.

255. HI, WE'LL BE BACK TO YOUR SPECIAL MOVIE,

256. "FULL OF MONTY," IN A MOMENT,

257. BUT FIRST, HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU.

258. THE BEATLES, ROLLING STONES,

259. BARBRA STREISAND, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN —

260. THESE ARE SOME OF THE PEOPLE WHO THREATENED TO SUE

261. IF WE USED THEIR SONGS.

262. YOU KNOW, THERE'S SO MANY HITS ON THIS SONG

263. THAT IT WAS HARD TO COMPILE THEM IN JUST THIS SET.

264. BOY, WE SHOULD HAVE "SONGS OF THE ENGLISH TEACHER"

265. TO HELP YOU OUT.

266. STOP IT NOW.

267. I THK ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS ON THIS SET

268. IS THAT BLUEGRASS HIT "SCOOP IT UP."

269. OH.

270. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

271. MY WIFE AND I PLAYED THAT SONG AT OUR WEDDING.

272. THE MARRIAGE ONLY LASTED A WEEK.

273. STOP.

274. YOU KNOW —

275. YOU KNOW, IN THE 1970s, WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,

276. I BELONGED TO A BAND CALLED THE HAPPY FUNK BAND

277. UNTIL AN UNFORTUNATE TYPO

278. CAUSED US TO BE EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL.

279. BUT FUNK IS STILL VERY CLOSE TO MY HEART,

280. AND IT BRINGS ME GREAT PLEASURE

281. TO INTRODUCE THIS GREAT FUNK HIT —

282. "DON'T BE SNIFFIN' THERE."

283. DAMN!

284. HEY, COL, HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY

285. FOR A 500-CD SET SUCH AS THIS?

286. I'M NOT TELLING YOU.

287. HA HA HA HA!

288. YOU KNOW, COLIN —

289. WHAT, RYAN?

290. WHEN I WANT TO GET ROMANTIC WITH THE THIRD WIFE,

291. THERE'S ONLY ONE SONG,

292. ONE SONG THAT REALLY SEEMS TO DO IT.

293. WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

294. THAT WOULD BE THE VERY ROMANTIC

295. NEVILLE BROTHERS HIT "NO MORE SOFT FOOD FOR YOU."

296. ALL RIGHT, THAT WAS GREAT.

297. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

298. DON'T GO AWAY. WE'RE GOING TO SEE A COMMERCIAL.

299. WHEN WE COME BACK, THE WINNER GETS

300. TO DO A LITTLE SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ME.

301. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

302. TONIGHT'S WINNER — WAYNE BRADY!

303. WAYNE BRADY'S THE WINNER,

304. SO HE'S GOING TO SIT AT THE DESK.

305. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DO A GAME CALLED "WORLD'S WORST,"

306. SO WHY DON'T WE STEP UP TO THE "WORLD'S WORST" STEP,

307. AND WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU EXAMPLES

308. OF THE WORLD'S WORST WHAT, WAYNE?

309. YOU'RE GIVING EXAMPLES OF THE WORLD'S WORST THINGS

310. TO SAY AT A MAJOR AWARDS CEREMONY.

311. HEY, ALL YOU LITTLE PEOPLE —

312. SCREW YOU.

313. I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS AWARD

314. UNTIL THEY TEAR DOWN THE WALL THAT SEPARATES GERMANY.

315. THANK YOU.

316. UM, BILL — BILL COULDN'T BE HERE TONIGHT

317. BECAUSE, UH, HE'S A RAGING ALCOHOLIC,

318. BUT I KNOW THAT IF HE WAS HERE,

319. HE'D JUST GO, "UGH."

320. I'M THE GREATEST DIRECTOR OF ALL TIME! WHOO-HOO!

321. I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD! WHOO!

322. THANK YOU. I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYBODY I'VE EVER MET.

323. JIM, SARAH, BOB...

324. SHIRLEY, PHIL, AUNT DORIS...

325. UNCLE PETER, HENRY FONDA,

326. JILL THE WEATHER GIRL,

327. SUSAN, MY FIRST WIFE CHERYL, DICK YORK...

328. YOU TOLERATE ME! YOU REALLY, REALLY TOLERATE ME!

329. WELL, I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO MADE THIS — WHAT?

330. SATAN IS MY MASTER?

331. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ABC

332. FOR GIVING ME THE DREW CAREY AWARD.

333. IT ONLY — IT ONLY GOES TO ONE LUCKY GUY WITH GLASSES A YEAR,

334. AND, GOSH DARN IT,

335. TONIGHT, I'M THE KING OF THE GENERAL AREA.

336. OH, THAT'S IT. DON'T GO AWAY.

337. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

338. WE'RE GOING TO END THE SHOW BY HAVING RYAN AND GREG

339. READ THE CREDITS FOR US AS TWO CATTLE AUCTIONEERS.

340. TWO CATTLE AUCTIONEERS. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

341. WE'VE GOT A FINE HEIFER HERE NAMED DAN PATTERSON.

342. HOW MUCH DO I HEAR FOR THAT HEIFER?

343. DAN PATTERSON, WE HEAR ONCE, DAN PATTERSON TWICE.

344. LOOK AT THAT TOM PARK.

345. OH, WE GOT A BIG HEIFER HERE. WE GOT WAYNE BRADY.

346. HOW MUCH DO I HEAR FOR WAYNE BRADY?

347. HOW MUCH DO I HEAR FOR THIS COLIN MOCHRIE?

348. HE'S A FINE COW.

349. HE'S CANADIAN. HE'S ONLY BEEN USED ONCE

350. NATURAL BRANDING, RIGHT THERE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

351. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.