Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x18

Directed by

Heather Anne Campbell as Self • Padma Lakshmi as Self

Chef Padma Lakshmi; guest comic Heather Anne Campbell.

Request examples:

!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x18 [02:32]
!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x18 [Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x18]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x18 [10-11]; !req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x18 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

2. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW —

3. STAND BY YOUR MAN — BRAD SHERWOOD.

4. HE KNOWS WHEN TO HOLD 'EM — WAYNE BRADY.

5. ALL HIS EXES LIVE IN TEXAS — COLIN MOCHRIE.

6. AND AN OKIE FROM FENOKEE — RYAN STILES.

7. AND I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

8. COME ON DOWN. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

9. WHOA! GOOD EVENING.

10. HELLO, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

11. WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",

12. WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER,

13. JUST LIKE THE SECOND PERSON YOU EVER SLEPT WITH.

14. IF YOU NEVER SAW THE SHOW BEFORE,

15. WHAT HAPPENS IS THESE FOUR FINE PERFORMERS

16. ARE GOING TO MAKE UP EVERYTHING RIGHT ON THE SPOT,

17. AND THEN I GIVE THEM POINTS.

18. IT'S JUST A GAG TO HOLD THE SHOW TOGETHER.

19. WE PICK A WINNER,

20. AND THE WINNER GETS TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ME,

21. AND THE LOSER GETS FORCED TO LISTEN TO "LA VIDA LOCA"...

22. OVER AND OVER AGAIN,

23. JUST AS IF IT WAS ON THE RADIO.

24. LET'S START OUT WITH A GAME CALLED "SUPERHEROES."

25. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

26. BRAD, YOU'RE GOING TO START,

27. AND RYAN, COLIN, AND WAYNE ARE GOING TO JOIN HIM,

28. AND EVERYBODY'S GOING TO NAME EVERYBODY ELSE

29. WHEN THEY COME IN.

30. WHAT I NEED IS A NAME OF AN UNLIKELY SUPERHERO.

31. SUPER RABBI!

32. SUPER RABBI.

33. THE CROWD WANTS SUPER RABBI.

34. I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THE RABBLE.

35. THERE'S A CRISIS IN THE WORLD.

36. WHAT KIND ARE WE DEALING WITH?

37. MOSQUITOES.

38. MOSQUITOES?

39. OH, MOSQUITOES. OKAY.

40. SUPER RABBI, THERE SEEMS TO BE MOSQUITOES EVERYWHERE.

41. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

42. ISHMAEL, DAVID, OUCH!

43. THERE ARE TOO MANY MOSQUITOES.

44. I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO WATCH "TORAH! TORAH! TORAH!" TONIGHT,

45. AND I AM LATE FOR MY BRIS! WHAT WILL I DO?

46. HEY. SORRY I'M LATE.

47. SOMEONE CUT ME OFF. I MEAN, IN TRAFFIC.

48. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

49. LET ME OPEN THIS SCREEN.

50. GET IN HERE. THERE'S PLENTY OF MOSQUITOES.

51. THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE,

52. DEATHLY AFRAID OF EVERYTHING MAN.

53. AAH! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? AAH!

54. THE CURLS! AAH! THE BEARD! AAH! AAH!

55. THERE'S MOSQUITOES AROUND HERE.

56. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.

57. THAT'S A WEIRD VOICE. WHAT'S WITH THE ACCENT?

58. WATCH THE SCREEN!

59. OH, I JUST PAID FOR THAT NEW SCREEN.

60. THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE, CAPTAIN CLICHé.

61. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.

62. NEVER? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NEVER?

63. A MOSQUITO WHO SUCKS IS ONE WHO CHEWS.

64. YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN, BLESS MY MEZUZA.

65. WHAT'S A MEZUZA?

66. THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER.

67. SORRY I'M LATE.

68. THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE, UNCOORDINATED GO-GO GIRL.

69. ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP.

70. AAH!

71. OH! OH! OH!

72. I CANNOT HAVE THIS IN MY HOUSE.

73. AAH! AAH!

74. OW!

75. LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP.

76. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ATTRACT ALL THE MOSQUITOES

77. AND THEN SHIMMY THEM TO DEATH.

78. AAH!

79. I'M SO SORRY!

80. I'M REALLY SORRY! I'VE GOT TO GO.

81. AND TO THINK I ONCE DID HIS BAR MITZVAH.

82. SILLY RABBI.

83. HA HA HA HA!

84. AAH!

85. I GOT TO LEAVE, TOO.

86. JUST MUST GET THROUGH DOOR.

87. AH.

88. AAH!

89. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

90. HEY, JEWISH DEFENSE LEAGUE,

91. WE'RE SENDING A MILLION POINTS RIGHT TO YOU.

92. HA HA HA.

93. NOW LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED

94. "FILM, TV, AND THEATER STYLES."

95. THIS IS FOR RYAN AND COLIN.

96. THEY'RE GOING TO ACT OUT A SCENE

97. AND ADOPT DIFFERENT FILM AND TV STYLES.

98. WHAT I NEED FROM YOU GUYS

99. IS SUGGESTIONS FOR DIFFERENT STYLES

100. OF FILM, THEATER, AND TELEVISION.

101. "SOUTH PARK."

102. SOAP OPERA.

103. STUDENT FILM.

104. ANIMAL PLANET.

105. ANIMAL PLANET.

106. OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. WE GOT ENOUGH.

107. LET'S START OUT —

108. YOUR SCENE IS COLIN COMES OUT OF HIS HOUSE

109. TO FIND THAT RYAN, A TRUCK DRIVER,

110. IS DUMPING NUCLEAR WASTE IN HIS BACKYARD.

111. WE START IT AS NORMAL,

112. AND I'LL COME UP WITH DIFFERENT STYLES

113. THE AUDIENCE YELLED OUT AFTER WE START.

114. HEY, HEY!

115. WHAT?

116. NOT ON THE LAWN.

117. SORRY. I'M HEADING TO FRESNO,

118. AND I KNEW I COULDN'T MAKE IT ALL THE WAY.

119. WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF?

120. THIS IS NUCLEAR WASTE. IT'LL HELP YOUR LAWN GROW.

121. IT'LL KILL EVERYTHING.

122. BUT BEFORE IT'S DEAD, IT'S GOING TO GROW LIKE CRAZY.

123. SOAP OPERA.

124. OF COURSE, YOU KNOW NOW

125. I CAN NEVER HAVE CHILDREN.

126. MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU LEAVE SHADY ELMS.

127. YOU WOULD LOVE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU, DIRK?

128. IT'S NOT ABOUT TH—

129. STUDENT FILM.

130. PSST.

131. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE LAWN THE WAY IT IS,

132. PERHAPS I SHOULD JUST LEAVE NOW.

133. HEY!

134. I WANT YOU TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS!

135. ANIMAL PLANET.

136. I'LL CLEAN UP THIS MESS AS S— DID YOU SEE THAT?

137. THAT WAS A LITTLE GOPHER

138. MAKING HIS WAY ACROSS YOUR LAWN.

139. THE GOPHER IS THE MOST MISUNDERSTOOD

140. OF ALL MAMMALS.

141. A TENACIOUS LITTLE WORKER,

142. IT LOVES ITS MATE AND SOMETIMES PLAYS CARDS.

143. NOW, I'M GOING TO GO

144. AFTER THIS GOPHER,

145. BUT WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING,

146. 'CAUSE THEY CAN SPRING ON YOU AT ANY MINUTE.

147. FEISTY LITTLE CRITTER, ISN'T HE?

148. PLEASE BE CAREFUL

149. AS I MAKE YOU DO IT AS "SOUTH PARK."

150. THE GOPHER'S DEAD.

151. YEAH.

152. OH, NO! THE GOPHER'S DEAD!

153. THE BLEEPING GOPHER'S DEAD!

154. BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP.

155. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

156. MAN, I OUGHT TO GIVE YOU 1,000 POINTS

157. JUST FOR THE SHOES.

158. HEY, HOT FOOT, WHAT'S UP?

159. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO ON

160. TO OUR NEXT GAME CALLED "SONG TITLES."

161. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU — "SONG TITLES."

162. BRAD AND WAYNE, YOU'RE GOING TO START.

163. THIS IS ALSO A FUN GAME YOU CAN PLAY AT HOME.

164. YOU CAN ONLY SPEAK IN SONG TITLES.

165. IF ONE OF YOU GOES WRONG,

166. THE PERSON BEHIND YOU WILL TAKE YOUR PLACE.

167. YOU'RE IN LAS VEGAS.

168. I HAVE TO RECOGNIZE THE TITLE

169. OR I'M JUST GOING TO BUZZ YOU OUT,

170. SO SPEAK IN ONLY SONG TITLES.

171. "GREAT BALLS OF FIRE."

172. "LUCK, BE A LADY."

173. "MONEY, MONEY, MONEY."

174. "MONEY CAN'T BUY EVERYTHING."

175. "HELLO"?

176. "HELLO, GOODBYE."

177. "BERNADETTE."

178. "JEREMY."

179. "ENDLESS LOVE."

180. "LOVE IS A MANY-SPLENDORED THING."

181. "I — MY ME MA MO MO."

182. "DANIEL."

183. "MR. ROBERTS."

184. "I'M HENERY THE EIGHTH, I AM."

185. "WHO ARE YOU?"

186. "DISCO DUCK"!

187. "LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD."

188. "I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS."

189. "COME, MR. TALLY MAN."

190. KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING.

191. WHOO! "VIVA LAS VEGAS"!

192. I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE DESERT

193. ON "A HORSE WITH NO NAME."

194. I COME FROM A LAND "DOWN UNDER."

195. "ANGIE."

196. "MEAN MR. MUSTARD."

197. "DO YOU LOVE ME?"

198. "WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT?"

199. "RAIN."

200. "IT'S RAINING MEN."

201. HA HA HA HA.

202. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

203. DON'T GO AWAY.

204. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

205. RIGHT AFTER THIS. STAY WHERE YOU ARE.

206. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",

207. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP

208. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

209. THAT'S RIGHT — THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

210. JUST LIKE TASTEFUL SHOES TO RYAN STILES,

211. THE POINTS DON'T MEAN A THING.

212. WAS THAT APPLAUSE?

213. I COULDN'T HEAR IT OVER RYAN'S SHOES.

214. LET'S MOVE ALONG

215. WITH A GAME CALLED "SOUND EFFECTS."

216. IT'S FOR COLIN AND RYAN.

217. COLIN'S GOING TO IMPROVISE A SCENE,

218. BUT HAS TO RESPOND TO SOUND EFFECTS BY RYAN.

219. COLIN, YOUR SCENE IS YOU ARE AN ICE HOCKEY STAR

220. ARRIVING AT THE STADIUM FOR THE BIG GAME.

221. AN ICE HOCKEY STAR ARRIVES FOR THE BIG GAME.

222. SQUEAKY.

223. AAH! WHY, YOU!

224. AAH!

225. AAH!

226. OHH!

227. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

228. STOP HIM BEFORE HE KILLS AGAIN.

229. THAT WAS GREAT. I'LL GIVE YOU 500 POINTS.

230. I'D GIVE YOU 1,000,

231. BUT I'M TRYING TO BEAT THE SPREAD.

232. NOW LET'S GO TO A GAME CALLED "TELETHON."

233. THIS GAME'S CALLED "TELETHON" —

234. ALL FOUR PERFORMERS WITH THE HELP, OF COURSE,

235. OF LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR.

236. RYAN AND COLIN ARE ON A TELETHON,

237. AND BRAD AND WAYNE ARE GOING TO COME ON

238. AS CELEBRITY GUESTS TO SING THE BIG CHARITY ANTHEM.

239. WHAT WE NEED — AN IDEA FOR A GROUP OF PEOPLE

240. YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY WANT TO RAISE MONEY FOR.

241. "SITCOM STARS," I HEARD BEHIND ME.

242. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'D WANT TO PICK THAT.

243. I'M JUST NORMAL DREW.

244. OKAY, TELETHON TO RAISE MONEY FOR SITCOM STARS,

245. AND WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, GO AHEAD.

246. HELLO, AND WELCOME BACK TO OUR FIRST HOUR...

247. OH, I AM BUSHED.

248. TO SAVE MONEY FOR SITCOM STARS.

249. TAKE IT EASY. KEEP THE PHONES RINGING, PEOPLE.

250. WE NEED TO MAKE SOME MONEY. LET'S CHECK THAT TOTE BOARD.

251. $250 MILLION? IS THAT THE BEST WE CAN DO?

252. THAT'LL BARELY COVER THE HAIR MOUSSE

253. FOR THE SET OF "FRIENDS."

254. KEEP GIVING, PEOPLE.

255. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

256. YOU'LL HEAR A LOT OF RUMORS ABOUT STARS —

257. HOW MUCH THEY MAKE.

258. DREW CAREY, FOR INSTANCE — A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY

259. HE MADE $45 MILLION LAST YEAR.

260. AFR HE PAYS TAXES,

261. HE'S LUCKY IF HE CLEARS $30 MILLION,

262. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. A MAN HAS TO EAT.

263. PLEASE, GARY COLEMAN IS A SECURITY GUARD.

264. SEND YOUR MONEY NOW.

265. COME ON!

266. LET'S GET THOSE PHONES RINGING.

267. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

268. SURE, IT'S EASY FOR YOU TO GO OUT THERE

269. FOR YOUR 9:00 TO 5:00 JOB, WORKING IN THE MINES

270. OR WORKING MINDLESS, BORING JOBS.

271. BUT THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO DO INTERVIEWS.

272. THEY HAVE TO ENDORSE THINGS THEY DON'T EVEN USE.

273. I LOVE LUCY. WON'T YOU LOVE LUCY, TOO?

274. LET'S KEEP THOSE PHONES RINGING.

275. RIGHT NOW WE HAVE SOME SPECIAL GUESTS

276. THAT HAVE COME ALL THE WAY

277. FROM LAUGHLIN, NEVADA HERE TODAY.

278. MANY STARS ON OUR STAGE TONIGHT.

279. PLEASE WELCOME, IF YOU WILL,

280. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN...

281. AND STEVIE WONDER.

282. IT'S LOUIS ARMSTRONG!

283. MICK JAGGER!

284. LIEUTENANT UHURA FROM "STAR TREK"!

285. CAPTAIN, THEY NEED YOUR HELP.

286. THE GUY FROM THE B-52s!

287. AND WHO CAN SUM THAT UP BETTER THAN BILL COSBY?

288. THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

289. FOR COMING OUT TONIGHT.

290. WE THINK IT'S GREAT, AND REMEMBER,

291. ME AND KENNY G. —

292. IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU THAT I'M RICH.

293. AHH!

294. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

295. WE'RE GOING TO COMMERCIAL TO MAKE SOME MONEY.

296. WHEN WE COME BACK, THE WINNER GETS TO DO

297. SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ME. DON'T GO AWAY.

298. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

299. TONIGHT'S WINNERS ARE WAYNE AND RYAN.

300. HOW ABOUT THAT?

301. HOW ABOUT THAT?

302. THEY'RE GOING TO PLAY A LITTLE GAME WITH ME

303. CALLED "3-HEADED BROADWAY STAR."

304. WE'RE GOING TO PRETEND TO BE A 3-HEADED BROADWAY STAR.

305. WE NEED THE NAME OF AN UNLIKELY BROADWAY SHOW.

306. "STRETCH MARKS."

307. "STRETCH MARKS, THE MUSICAL." "STRETCH MARKS, THE MUSICAL."

308. AND THE NAME OF THE BIG HIT LOVE SONG FROM —

309. WHAT?

310. WHAT HIPS?

311. "THESE AREN'T MY HIPS."

312. THE LOVE SONG

313. FROM THE BIG HIT MUSICAL "STRETCH MARKS."

314. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

315. WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" RIGHT AFTER THIS.

316. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

317. TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO END THE SHOW

318. WITH WAYNE AND RYAN READING THE CREDITS

319. LIKE TWO FOOTBALL COACHES BAWLING OUT THE PLAYERS

320. AT HALF TIME.

321. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

322. WHAT IS IT WITH MARK LEVESON?

323. THAT BOY COULDN'T CATCH A BALL

324. IF HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

325. YOU BIG SISSY, I WANT YOU TO GET THAT BALL.

326. I WOULD NEVER PUT RUTH PHILLIPS INTO A GAME.

327. COLIN MOCHRIE, YOU CALL YOURSELF A FOOTBALL PLAYER?

328. I SEE YOUR NAME UP THERE. ARE YOU A FOOTBALL PLAYER?

329. GET DOWN AND GIVE ME 20. GET ON THE FLOOR.

330. JOHN PRITCHETT COULDN'T PASS A BALL

331. IF HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

332. NOW, CHRIS DALE'S A GOOD PLAYER.

333. GIVE ME 20.

334. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.