Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x15

Directed by

Mel B as Self • Gary Anthony Williams as Self

Singer Mel B.; comic Gary Anthony Williams.

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!req Whose Line Is It Anyway? 2x15 [02:32]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,

2. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW...

4. SEND IN THE MARINES — WAYNE BRADY.

5. SEND IN THE CAVALRY — DENNY SIEGEL.

6. SEND FOR A PIZZA — COLIN MOCHRIE.

7. AND SEND IN THE CLOWNS — RYAN STILES!

8. I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.

9. COME ON DOWN. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

10. HELLO.

11. HEY. WELCOME.

12. WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",

13. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP

14. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

15. THE POINTS CAN NEVER BE USED —

16. OR WILL NEVER BE USED, JUST LIKE MY EXERCISE BIKE.

17. IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THE SHOW,

18. ALL THESE GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE UP EVERYTHING YOU SEE

19. RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU,

20. AND THEN I GIVE THEM POINTS —

21. JUST A GAG TO HOLD THE SHOW TOGETHER.

22. IT DOESN'T MEAN A THING.

23. AT THE END OF THE SHOW, WE PICK A "WINNER,"

24. AND THE WINNER GETS TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL WITH ME.

25. WHOEVER WINS, I RECOMMEND — THAT'S RIGHT.

26. START LOOKING FOR SOMETHING YOU CAN BITE DOWN ON.

27. LET'S START IT OFF

28. WITH A GAME CALLED "LET'S MAKE A DATE."

29. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU.

30. DENNY, YOU'RE APPEARING ON A DATING-TYPE SHOW.

31. UNFORTUNATELY, THE PEOPLE YOU'RE GOING TO TRY

32. TO PICK FROM ARE WAYNE, COLIN, AND RYAN.

33. ON THESE CARDS HERE WE'VE GIVEN THEM EACH

34. A STRANGE CHARACTERISTIC OR IDENTITY,

35. AND YOU HAVE TO GUESS WHO THEY ARE.

36. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, OFF YOU GO.

37. BACHELOR NUMBER ONE, SOME MEN PROMISE WOMEN THE MOON,

38. AND SOME PROMISE THEM THE STARS.

39. WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE ME?

40. I'D HAVE TO GIVE YOU A GOOD BUTT-WHIPPING,

41. 'CAUSE YOU DON'T LISTEN.

42. NOW, BACK IN 1924,

43. ALL THE KIDS LISTENED,

44. 'CAUSE THEY HAD TWO EARS AND THEY ALL LISTENED.

45. I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS.

46. WOW.

47. IF I GET MY BOTTOM BEATEN BY YOU FOR NOT LISTENING,

48. I HOPE I GO DEAF EARLY.

49. BACHELOR —

50. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO, HELLO.

51. HOWDY!

52. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO...

53. YEAH?

54. IF I WERE GOING TO BAKE —

55. COME ON, BABY, I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.

56. IF I WERE GOING TO BAKE

57. A COOKIE FOR YOU ON VALENTINE'S DAY,

58. I WOULD BAKE IT IN THE SHAPE OF A BIG PINK HEART.

59. WHAT WOULD YOUR COOKIE LOOK LIKE,

60. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO?

61. WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE?

62. IT WOULDN'T LOOK LIKE MY MOTHER!

63. HEY, COME ON HERE.

64. WHAT IS THIS, AN AUDIENCE OR AN OIL PAINTING?

65. YOU BETTER WASH —

66. OKAY.

67. HEY, COME ON, I'VE SEEN YOUNGER FACES ON MONEY!

68. MONEY!

69. OKAY.

70. FACES ON MONEY.

71. YOU SOUND CREEPY.

72. BACHELOR NUMBER THREE...

73. YES?

74. BACHELOR NUMBER THREE,

75. WHEN I WANT TO PLEASE A MAN —

76. OR A WOMAN, ANIMAL, ANYTHING —

77. I LIKE TO PUT ON SOMETHING SOFT AND SILKY.

78. WHAT WOULD YOU PUT ON TO IMPRESS ME?

79. CAN YOU SAY "SOFT AND SILKY" ONE MORE TIME?

80. SURE. SOFT AND SILKY, BACHELOR NUMBER THREE.

81. "SOFT AND SILKY, BACHELOR NUMBER THREE."

82. ALL RIGHT, BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,

83. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO PARIS OR ROME.

84. WHERE WOULD YOU TAKE ME?

85. UHH!

86. I — WHAT?

87. IF YOU COULD TAKE ME SOMEWHERE

88. AND TEACH ME SOMETHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

89. I'D TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE

90. AND TEACH YOU HOW TO DRESS PROPER!

91. LOOK AT YOU, WEARING THE THING WITH THE SLIT UP THE MIDDLE.

92. YOU KNOW THAT BOYS ALWAYS GASPING AND GAPING AT YOUR LEGS.

93. I'D KICK YOU —

94. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO —

95. HEY, IF THE TEETH STAY OUT, GO WITH BACHELOR NUMBER ONE.

96. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO, IF YOU WERE TO START

97. YOUR OWN CABLE CHANNEL, WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?

98. AH, JUST —

99. YOU THINK THIS IS EASY? YOU THINK IT'S EA—

100. YOU THINK THIS IS EASY?

101. COME ON. COME ON.

102. YOU THINK THIS IS EASY?

103. OKAY, YOU SIT. COME ON. YOU BE FUNNY.

104. GO ON! I DON'T CARE! YEAH, YOU GO AHEAD!

105. AH HA HA HA HA!

106. AH HA HA HA HA HA!

107. WOW!

108. WELL, YOU KNOW —

109. HE'S NOT THAT FUNNY!

110. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,

111. YOU SEEM TO ACTUALLY BE TWO MEN IN ONE.

112. I CAN HANDLE THAT.

113. BACHELOR NUMBER THREE...

114. YES. YES! YES!

115. THAT'S NASTY! THAT'S NASTY!

116. OKAY. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

117. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

118. THANK YOU, SIR. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

119. OKAY.

120. SO, YOUR FRIENDS ARE GOING TO SEE YOU. THAT'S GREAT.

121. OKAY, DENNY, TIME TO GUESS WHO THEY ARE.

122. UH, I DO NOT WANT TO GO OUT WITH BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,

123. BECAUSE AS A GRANDFATHER FROM LOUISIANA,

124. HE'S WAY TOO OLD FOR ME.

125. HE'S AN OUTRAGED GRANDMOTHER.

126. HE WAS CLOSE, THOUGH. GRANDMOTHER.

127. EVERYBODY MAKES THAT MISTAKE. GO AHEAD.

128. AND BACHELOR NUMBER TWO —

129. I'M THINKING THERE'S SOME UNIVERSE

130. WHERE WHISTLER DIDN'T PAINT HIS MOTHER

131. BUT BECAME A DISGRUNTLED COMIC.

132. THAT'S RIGHT, HE'S ME. HE'S ME.

133. HE'S A BAD STAND-UP COMIC. THAT'S RIGHT.

134. AS FOR BACHELOR NUMBER THREE,

135. I WOULD ACCEPT A DATE WITH HIM,

136. BUT I THINK IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE PREMATURE.

137. NO.

138. THAT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE.

139. NO, BUT WHAT KIND OF PILL —

140. WHAT KIND OF THING WOULD YOU TAKE

141. THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE LOVING EVERYBODY?

142. IT'S AN APH...

143. IT COULD BE VIAGRA.

144. APHRODISIAC. APHRODISIAC. THAT'S RIGHT.

145. IF A PICTURE'S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS,

146. THAT WAS WORTH 50 POINTS.

147. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "SONG STYLES."

148. THIS IS FOR WAYNE BRADY

149. WITH LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR ON GUITAR.

150. WE'RE GOING TO DO A LITTLE TWIST THIS TIME.

151. WHAT WE NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE

152. IS A SUGGESTION OF A HOUSEHOLD OBJECT.

153. BLENDER. IT'S GOING TO BE BLENDER,

154. AND THE TWIST IS WE'RE GOING TO NEED

155. RYAN, COLIN, AND DENNY TO COME OUT HERE

156. AND BACK HIM UP, BECAUSE, UH...

157. YOU'RE GOING TO BE SINGING

158. IN THE STYLE OF THE TEMPTATIONS.

159. YOU'RE GOING TO BE SINGING ABOUT A BLENDER

160. AS THE TEMPTATIONS,

161. AND WITH ALL THOSE GUYS BACKING YOU UP.

162. COME ON, TEMPTATIONS, LET'S DANCE!

163. Y'ALL SING!

164. THE TEMPTATIONS!

165. HERE'S A LITTLE DANCE TIP FOR YOU, WHITE PEOPLE.

166. NEXT TIME YOU'RE OUT DANCING,

167. FIND THE BLACK GUY,

168. JUST TRY TO COPY WHAT HE'S DOING.

169. WE'RE GOING TO THE CLUB LATER ON, RIGHT, RYAN?

170. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "NARRATE."

171. THIS IS COLIN AND RYAN.

172. THEY'RE GOING TOCT OUT A FILM NOIR SCENE,

173. AND THEY'RE GOING TO NARRATE FOR EACH OTHER

174. WITH THE STYLES OF MUSIC WE'VE PICKED OUT.

175. WHAT I NEED IS AN UNLIKELY PLACE

176. FOR A FILM NOIR SCENE.

177. AIRPORT TERMINAL IS THE FIRST THING I HEARD.

178. AIR— AIRPORT TERMINAL.

179. AIRPORT TERMINAL. AIRPORT TERMINAL.

180. SO YOU'RE ACTING OUT A FILM NOIR SCENE

181. SET AT AN AIRPORT TERMINAL. GO AHEAD.

182. I HAD TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY, AND LEAVE THE COUNTRY FAST.

183. I HAD BEEN INVOLVED WITH A POULTRY SCAM

184. THAT WENT BAD.

185. THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHANCE — BIG WING BOY.

186. EXCUSE ME, I NEED A FLIGHT OUT OF HERE REALLY FAST.

187. OH, REALLY? I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

188. I KNEW WHAT HE WANTED.

189. HE WANTED BIG WING BOY,

190. BUT I HADN'T DONE THAT FOR YEARS.

191. SEEMS WE HAVE A FLIGHT GOING OUT AT 7:30.

192. IT'S ONLY GOING TO POMONA.

193. POMONA — HOW IRONIC.

194. THAT'S WHERE I WAS RUNNING FROM.

195. NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED TO GET AWAY,

196. IT WOULD ALWAYS PULL ME BACK.

197. I WANT TO GO TO FRESNO.

198. FRESNO, HUH?

199. THAT'S A LOVELY TOWN.

200. IT WASN'T.

201. WHY DON'T YOU SEE IF YOUR CARRY-ON

202. FITS THROUGH THE HOLE THERE?

203. MAKE UP YOUR OWN JOKE HERE.

204. ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'D JUST STEP

205. THROUGH THE METAL DETECTOR.

206. BEEP-BEEP-BEEP- BEEP-BEEP-BEEP.

207. I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO SET IT OFF.

208. I KNEW HE HAD HAD THAT METAL PLATE

209. INSTALLED IN HIS HEAD THREE YEARS AGO.

210. THAT'S WHERE ALL THE HAIR HAD GONE.

211. TAKE IT FROM ME — BIG WING BOY.

212. I REALIZED WHEN I SET OFF THE METAL DETECTOR,

213. IT WAS JUST BIG WING BOY GOING, "DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO,"

214. BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD HUMOR HIM.

215. AFTER ALL, HE LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE

216. WHO HAD NEVER HAD ANY HUMOR IN HIS LIFE.

217. MAYBE THIS IS WHAT SET OFF THE ALARM.

218. GET ME A TICKET. GET IT NOW!

219. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

220. WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

221. RIGHT AFTER THIS.

222. WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",

223. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S MADE UP

224. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

225. DURING THE BREAK, I KNOW YOU COULDN'T SEE US,

226. BUT WE COULD SEE YOU.

227. SO LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "WEIRD NEWSCASTERS"

228. FOR ALL FOR OF YOU.

229. DENNY, YOU'RE GOING TO BE ANCHOR OF A NEWS PROGRAM.

230. COLIN, YOU'RE THE COANCHOR.

231. COLIN HAS BEEN INJECTED WITH DINOSAUR DNA.

232. WAYNE, YOU'RE DOING THE SPORTS,

233. AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE JERRY LEWIS.

234. AND WEATHER IS RYAN. YOU'RE DOING THE WEATHER.

235. YOU'RE A CORNERED CRIMINAL LOOKING TO TAKE A HOSTAGE.

236. SO, WHENEVER YOUR HEAR THE MUSIC, DENNY,

237. GO AHEAD AND START THE NEWS.

238. GOOD EVENING.

239. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, INTERESTINGLY,

240. IS NOT ABOUT A TOP, BUT A DREIDEL.

241. AND NOW, MOVING ON TO MY COANCHOR

242. FOR MORE STORIES OF THE NEWS — COLIN MOCHRIE.

243. THANK YOU.

244. SORRY.

245. I WAS AT THE DINOSAUR INSTITUTE TODAY, AND...

246. COLIN, COLIN, I HAVE A CARROT. CARROT.

247. ALL RIGHTY. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW FROM COLIN.

248. WE'RE GOING TO MOVE ON TO OUR SPORTS DESK,

249. AND HERE WITH THE SPORTS, IT'S WAYNE BRADY.

250. HEY, LADY!

251. JEEZ, THE SPORTS AND THE —

252. THE GUYS THAT THROW THE BALL,

253. AND HE CATCHES THE BALL!

254. THE LADY SAID THAT I COULD CATCH THE BALL

255. IN THE — WHOA!

256. THE RAIDERS!

257. THE RAID— OH! WHOA!

258. WHOO!

259. THANK YOU, WAYNE.

260. ON BEHALF OF THE NETWORK, I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE

261. TO EVERYONE EXCEPT THE FRENCH.

262. MOVING ON...

263. MOVING ON NOW, IT'S TIME TO HEAR

264. FROM OUR MAN ON THE WEATHER —

265. RYAN STILES. RYAN.

266. THANKS VERY MUCH.

267. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE GOT SUNNY DAYS AHEAD

268. IN TIME TO GO OUT THIS WEEKEND.

269. BUT I'M NOT COMING OUT.

270. I'M NOT COMING OUT!

271. WHY DON'T YOU COME IN AND GET ME, COPPERS?

272. BACK OFF OR THE LIZARD GETS IT!

273. AAH! AAH! AAH!

274. AAH! AAH!

275. AAH!

276. UH-OH!

277. AAH!

278. UH-OH! UH-OH!

279. THAT'S JUST ABOUT ALL THE TIME WE HAVE.

280. BE SURE TO JOIN US AT 8:00, 9:00, 10:00, AND 11:00

281. FOR MORE NEWS.

282. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.

283. THAT WAS REALLY GREAT.

284. AND, JERRY LEWIS, IF YOU'RE HOME WATCHING THE SHOW,

285. POINTS ARE IN THE MAIL.

286. LET'S GO ON TO A GAME CALLED "SCENE TO RAP."

287. THIS IS FOR WAYNE AND DENNY.

288. THEY'RE GOING TO BE JOINED LATER BY RYAN AND COLIN.

289. I NEED A SUGGESTION OF A MAJOR EVENT IN LIFE

290. THAT FILLS YOU WITH FEAR.

291. BRAIN SURGERY IT IS, 'CAUSE I COULD USE SOME.

292. BRAIN SURGERY.

293. YOU'RE GOING TO BE RAPPING ABOUT BRAIN SURGERY,

294. AND THEN RYAN AND COLIN ARE GOING TO JOIN LATER.

295. HERE.

296. THAT'S $100. OOPS, NEVER MIND.

297. YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT.

298. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE" RIGHT AFTER THIS.

299. DON'T GO ANYWHERE.

300. HEY, WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

301. TONIGHT'S WINNER — DENNY SIEGEL. HOW ABOUT IT?

302. THE LOSERS ARE US, AND WE HAVE TO DO

303. A HOEDOWN FOR YOU WITH THE HELP OF LAURA HALL.

304. WHAT WE NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE IS A SUGGESTION

305. OF A GROUP OR TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU HATE.

306. MOVIE USHERS!

307. MOVIE USHER HOEDOWN.

308. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE."

309. DON'T GO AWAY.

310. WELCOME BACK.

311. WE'RE GOING TO END THE SHOW TONIGHT

312. WITH WAYNE BRADY READING THE CREDITS

313. AS AN EXCITED HOST OF A SPANISH VARIETY SHOW.

314. THANKS, EVERYBODY. WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME.

315. BIENVENIDO TO TELEMUNDO. GRACIAS, GRACIAS.

316. DREW CAREY, RYAN STILES ES MUY GIGANTE!

317. MARK LEVESON — OOH, "SáBADO DOMINGO."

318. GRANDE!

319. OH, DREW CAREY — SING AND DANCE-A.

320. CHA-CHA-CHA!

321. ONLY ONE DAY ONLY!

322. ERIC WILKER — YOU, TOO.

323. JULIE RHINE — ALL THE COSTUMES.

324. AND KEITH WINIKOFF!

325. OH, Sí, Sí, BUT COMPLETE POST EDITED THE WHOLE THING.

326. GRACIAS! GRACIAS!

327. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC. AND WARNER BROS. INC.