Whose Line Is It Anyway? 1x6

Directed by

Wilson Bethel as Self • Gary Anthony Williams as Self

Comic Gary Anthony Williams; actor Wilson Bethel.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. - GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,

2. AND WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

3. ON TONIGHT'S SHOW,

4. ON CALL — IT'S WAYNE BRADY.

5. CALL OF THE WILD — IT'S GARY ANTHONY WILLIAMS.

6. CALL ME MAYBE — IT'S COLIN MOCHRIE.

7. AND WHEN NATURE CALLS — IT'S RYAN STILES.

8. AND I'M AISHA TYLER.

9. LET'S MAKE SOME STUFF UP!

10. HEY!

11. HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME.

12. WELCOME TO THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

13. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

14. NOW, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE SHOW BEFORE,

15. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER

16. IS THAT EVERYTHING THE PERFORMERS DO TONIGHT

17. IS COMPLETELY MADE UP OFF THE TOP OF THEIR HEADS

18. AND BASED ON SUGGESTIONS FROM THE AUDIENCE

19. AND THESE CARDS THAT I HAVE RIGHT HERE.

20. THEY HAVEN'T BEEN GIVEN ONE HINT WHATSOEVER AS TO WHAT'S COMING.

21. IT'S AMAZING TO WATCH AND SO MUCH FUN.

22. SO, LET'S GET STARTED WITH OUR FIRST GAME,

23. CALLED "WEIRD NEWSCASTERS."

24. THIS IS FOR ALL FOUR OF OUR PERFORMERS,

25. SO, GUYS, COME ON DOWN, PLEASE.

26. IN THIS GAME, COLIN IS THE ANCHOR OF A NEWS PROGRAM,

27. AND GARY, RYAN, AND WAYNE ARE HIS CO-PRESENTERS.

28. EACH ONE OF THEM HAS A STRANGE CHARACTER OR CHARACTERISTIC.

29. GARY IS THE CO-ANCHOR,

30. WHO'S ALSO AN UPBEAT, OLD CAJUN MUSICIAN

31. WHO IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND.

32. WAYNE, YOU ARE A SPORTSCASTER

33. WHO'S ALSO ACTING OUT AN EPISODE OF "OPRAH'S FAVORITE THINGS."

34. AND, RYAN, YOU ARE THE WEATHER FORECASTER

35. WHO IS A GROTESQUE, HOSTILE ALIEN POSING AS A WEATHERMAN,

36. AND YOUR DISGUISE IS STARTING TO WEAR OFF.

37. - I WAS HOPING I'D GET THAT.

38. - BEST OF LUCK TO YOU ALL. TAKE IT AWAY.

39. - WELCOME TO THE 6:00 NEWS.

40. I'M YOUR ANCHOR, KEN YOUDIGGIT.

41. OUR TOP STORY —

42. SCIENTISTS TURN BACK TIME, END UP WITH THE WORD "EMIT."

43. WHY DON'T WE FOUND OUT WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING IN NEWS

44. WITH OUR NEW CO-ANCHOR, CRUDLY.

45. GATOR TAIL.

46. MMM!

47. AND, AIEEE!

48. - NICELY SAID.

49. NOW LET'S SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS

50. WITH WHACKLEY BOOLEY!

51. WHACKLEY.

52. - WHAT I'M GONNA SHARE WITH EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE —

53. BESIDES THE RESULTS OF THE BIRMINGHAM GAME,

54. IS I'M GONNA...

55. LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS.

56. EVERYBODY, LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS RIGHT NOW.

57. LOOK UNDER YOUR SEATS.

58. EVERYBODY. KEEP LOOKING.

59. YOU'RE LOOKING UNDER YOUR SEATS, RIGHT?

60. UNDER EVERYBODY'S SEAT,

61. THERE IS... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

62. I'M TIRED OF GIVING YOU PEOPLE MY CRAP.

63. IT'SMYFAVORITE THINGS!

64. I SHOULD BE ABLE TO ENJOY THEM!

65. I'M TAKING MYSELF TO THE LAKERS' GAME!

66. ME! I'M GOING!

67. WHO'S GOING?

68. YOU'RE NOT GOING!

69. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO AUSTRALIA!

70. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO AUSTRALIA!

71. I'M GOING TO AUSTRALIA!

72. YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TALK TO ME ON MY PHONE THAT I BUY,

73. AND A TRANSLATOR DISC THAT I CAN LISTEN TO THE CAJUN MAN

74. AND I'LL UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING HE SAYS

75. BECAUSE IT BELONGS TOME!

76. MY FAVORITE THINGS!

77. ENJOY ME! ENJOY ME!

78. - I UNDERSTOOD HIM!

79. - WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT THE WEATHER'S GONNA BE LIKE

80. THIS WEEKEND, WITH WEATHERMAN SONNY.

81. HEY, SONNY. HOW'S IT GOING? - THANK YOU, COLIN.

82. AND HELLO, PEOPLE OF EARTH.

83. WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS "PEOPLE OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA."

84. LET'S CHE-CHECK THE WEATHER

85. ON THE SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA COASTLINE.

86. AS YOU CAN SEE, THE SUN WILL BE COM—

87. THE SUN WILL BE COMING OUT... LATER.

88. THE WEEKEND... SHOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR...

89. PHHT!

90. - AAH!

91. PBHT!

92. - UH!

93. - OOH! LEMME SEE DAT DERE.

94. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.

95. - THAT'S THE 6:00 NEWS. GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD NEWS.

96. - THAT WAS SENSATIONAL.

97. I ESPECIALLY ENJOYED THE PHRASE "ENJOY ME,"

98. WHICH CAN BE TAKEN LOTS OF WAYS.

99. 1,000 POINTS TO EVERYONE. WHY NOT?

100. I REALLY ENJOYED THAT. THAT WAS WONDERFULLY DONE. YES.

101. - SWEET! - YEAH!

102. 1,000 POINTS TO ALL OF YOU!

103. NOW WE'RE GONNA PLAY A GAME CALLED "DUET."

104. THIS IS FOR WAYNE AND GARY,

105. ACCOMPANIED BY LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR.

106. HERE TO JOIN THEM IS OUR CELEBRITY GUEST,

107. SO PLEASE WELCOME STAR OF THE TV SHOW "HART OF DIXIE"

108. WILSON BETHEL!

109. - WILSON.

110. - HELLO. - WELCOME, WILSON.

111. SO, GARY AND WAYNE,

112. YOU'RE GONNA BE MAKING UP A SONG ALL ABOUT WILSON,

113. WHO PLAYS BAD BOY WADE KINSELLA ON "HART OF DIXIE."

114. - OH, MAN.

115. - AND I REALLY WANT TO ASK YOU TO TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT,

116. BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT TO YOU NOW.

117. SO, YOU GUYS, YOU'RE GONNA BE SINGING IN THE STYLE OF — YES!

118. YOU'RE GONNA BE — RIGHT?

119. GARY, YOU ALREADY TOOK YOUR SHIRT OFF EARLIER, SO, YEAH.

120. SO, YOU'RE GONNA BE SINGING THIS SONG TO WILSON

121. IN THE STYLE OF MOTOWN, ALL RIGHT, GUYS?

122. SO, TAKE IT AWAY.

123. - WHAT?

124. - THAT'S ALL YOU. THAT'S ALL YOU.

125. THAT'S ALL YOU. YOU GOT IT.

126. - EVERYBODY GIVE IT UP FOR WILSON BETHEL!

127. WILSON BETHEL, EVERYBODY.

128. - YOU KNOW, IT WASN'T THAT I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE SINGING TO HIM.

129. I MEAN, IT WAS JUST THAT HIS EYES ARE SO PRETTY.

130. - STAY WITH US.

131. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

132. RIGHT AFTER THIS!

133. - WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

134. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

135. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

136. NOW WE'RE GONNA PLAY A GAME CALLED "SIDEWAYS SCENE."

137. THIS IS FOR COLIN, GARY, AND WAYNE,

138. AND IT TAKES PLACE IN THE SPECIAL AREA BEHIND THE SET,

139. SO, GUYS, HEAD ON OFF OVER THERE.

140. HERE'S HOW THIS IS GONNA WORK.

141. YOU THREE ARE GONNA BE PERFORMING A SCENE,

142. BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS YOU'LL BE DOING IT LYING DOWN ON OUR MAGIC MAT,

143. AND THEN WE'RE GONNA RELAY THE PICTURES TO THE AUDIENCE ON THE SCREEN.

144. I MAY ALSO THROW OUT SOME DIFFERENT GENRES

145. FOR YOU GUYS TO ACT IN AS YOU GO.

146. THE SCENARIO IS THAT COLIN AND GARY

147. ARE TWO BICKERING BUDDY COPS

148. WHO HAVE BEEN SUSPENDED FROM DUTY FOR BEING OUT OF SHAPE.

149. SO, WAYNE ENTERS AS THE SHOW-OFF POLICE FITNESS COACH

150. WHO'S COME IN TO FORCE THEM TO EXERCISE.

151. I DON'T KNOW WHY.

152. YOU GUYS ARE GETTING AHEAD OF EVERYTHING.

153. ALL RIGHT. IF YOU GUYS ARE READY, TAKE IT AWAY.

154. - CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THEY SAY WE'RE OUT OF SHAPE?

155. - HUH?

156. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

157. REACH INTO MY POCKET AND GET MY DOUGHNUT OUT FOR ME.

158. - OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, SAM!

159. YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GONNA PRACTICE A LITTLE

160. BEFORE OUR INSTRUCTOR GETS HERE.

161. - YOU GO AHEAD AND DO THAT.

162. I'M JUST GONNA COME OVER HERE,

163. TAKE A SEAT, AND RELAX A LITTLE BIT.

164. - RELAX? YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!

165. - THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

166. - UH-OH! THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE IMPORTANT.

167. - ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO! I'M HERE TO WHIP YOU INTO SHAPE!

168. I'M COMMANDER CAROTHERS, AND I'M THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE FLEET.

169. - WELL, WE LOOK, UH, FORWARD TO YOU, UH,

170. GETTING US BACK INTO SHAPE, SIR.

171. - DO YOU LOOK FORWARD TO BEING ABLE TO DO THIS?

172. - BUT, COMMANDER, WATCH MY UPPER-BODY STRENGTH

173. AS I LIFT MY PARTNER ABOVE MY HEAD.

174. AND DOWN.

175. - NOW YOU GUYS ARE IN A "PARANORMAL ACTIVITY" MOVIE.

176. - NOW YOU'RE IN A PENGUIN DOCUMENTARY.

177. - MORGAN FREEMAN, WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

178. - NOW YOU'RE AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW.

179. - NOW!

180. - DON'T GO AWAY.

181. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

182. RIGHT AFTER THIS!

183. - WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

184. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

185. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

186. DO THE POINTS MATTER TO YOU GUYS?

187. - JUST YOU DO.

188. - AWW!

189. - THAT SHOULD BE WORTH SOMETHING.

190. - 1,000 POINTS TO COLIN MOCHRIE. - IS THAT IT?

191. THAT'S ALL IT TAKES?

192. - ALL IT TAKES.

193. - ALL RIGHT. LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED "THREE-HEADED SONG."

194. IT'S FOR RYAN AND WAYNE,

195. ACCOMPANIED BY LAURA HALL AND LINDA TAYLOR.

196. SO, GUYS, COME ON DOWN.

197. YOU ARE GONNA BE PLAYING THIS GAME WITH OUR CELEBRITY GUEST,

198. STAR OF "HART OF DIXIE," WILSON BETHEL.

199. EVERYBODY, GIVE IT UP FOR WILSON.

200. HI.

201. - ALL RIGHT.

202. SO, WILSON, YOU'RE GONNA JOIN WAYNE AND RYAN,

203. AND THE THREE OF YOU ARE GONNA LINK TOGETHER

204. TO FORM ONE VERY BIZARRE THREE-HEADED SINGER.

205. AND YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE SINGING A SONG

206. ONE WORD AT A TIME.

207. EACH OF YOU WILL SING ONE WORD OF THE SONG.

208. SO WHAT WE NEED RIGHT NOW IS A SUGGESTION FROM THE AUDIENCE

209. TO COMPLETE THIS SONG TITLE.

210. "I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR" BLANK.

211. WHAT?

212. WHAT DID YOU...?

213. OH, THAT'S ADORABLE. RUBBER DUCKY.

214. SO, THE SONG FOR YOU TO SING RIGHT NOW IS

215. "I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR RUBBER DUCKY."

216. TAKE IT AWAY.

217. - THANK YOU.

218. - THAT WAS AWESOME. WILSON BETHEL, EVERYBODY!

219. ALL RIGHT! DON'T GO AWAY.

220. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

221. RIGHT AFTER THIS!

222. - WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

223. THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS MADE UP

224. AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

225. AND NOW WE PLAY A GAME CALLED "HELPING HANDS."

226. THIS IS FOR RYAN, COLIN, AND OUR STAR GUEST

227. FROM THE HIT SHOW "HART OF DIXIE," WILSON BETHEL!

228. AWESOME. OKAY.

229. SO, IN THIS GAME, RYAN AND WILSON

230. ARE GONNA ACT OUT A SITUATION, BUT RYAN CAN'T USE HIS OWN ARMS.

231. SO COLIN'S GONNA PROVIDE THEM FOR HIM, ALL RIGHT?

232. AND THE SCENE THAT YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE ACTING OUT

233. IS THAT, RYAN, YOU'RE A SENIOR DOCTOR IN A SMALL TOWN —

234. - A SENIOR DOCTOR? YOU MEAN, LIKE, AN OLD DOCTOR?

235. - NO. I MEAN, LIKE KNOWLEDGEABLE AND SOPHISTICATED.

236. - OH, I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. - YES.

237. IN A SMALL TOWN IN ALABAMA,

238. AND YOU'RE TEACHING MEDICAL STUDENT WILSON

239. ABOUT MEDICAL STUFF.

240. TAKE IT AWAY.

241. - YOU MUST BE WILSON. - YEAH, THAT'S ME.

242. - IS IT YOUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB?

243. - FIRST DAY, YEAH.

244. - ALL RIGHT. SO, MANY THINGS YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN ON THIS JOB.

245. - MM-HMM. - HOW ABOUT THIS?

246. - YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MIGHT BE? - NITROUS.

247. - IT'S A BLOOD-PRESSURE MONITOR. - OH, FAIR ENOUGH. ALL RIGHT.

248. - PUT IT ON ME. I WANT YOU TO TAKE MY BLOOD PRESSURE.

249. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK THAT?

250. YOU SHOULD. YOU'RE AN INTERN.

251. - I'M WORKING ON IT, SIR. - PUT IT ON ME.

252. - SIR, I'M WORKING ON IT.

253. - AND MAKE SURE TO PUMP IT UP NICE AND TIGHT.

254. - OKAY. HERE WE GO, DOC.

255. - KEEP PUMPING TILL I TELL YOU IT HURTS.

256. - ALL RIGHT.

257. - YEAH. IS THAT TIGHT?

258. - YOU'RE AT 140 OVER 260, SIR.

259. - THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. TAKE IT OFF ME PLEASE.

260. I CAN'T TAKE IT OFF MYSELF. - SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.

261. - ALWAYS PUT ON GLOVES BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING — ANYTHING.

262. FOR SAFETY AND FOR SANITARY REASONS.

263. I ALWAYS USE GLOVES.

264. EVEN WHEN I'M AT HOME, I USE GLOVES.

265. AH, THERE WE GO.

266. ONE'S GOOD. ONE GLOVE'S GOOD.

267. ALL RIGHT. NOW, WE DEAL WITH MANY DRUGS.

268. - YEAH, I KNOW THAT THAT IS. YES, SIR.

269. - THIS IS A URINE SAMPLE.

270. - GO AHEAD.

271. AFTER YOU, SIR.

272. - YOU WANT A SIP OF THAT?

273. WHY DON'T WE JUST HAVE A SIP OF THAT?

274. - ALLOW ME. ALLOW ME, SIR.

275. - OH!

276. - I AM WAITING FOR YOUR DIAGNOSIS.

277. - HE'S BEEN SMOKING WEED, SIR. - EXACTLY.

278. EXACTLY. - DEFINITELY.

279. - EXACTLY.

280. IT'S FUNNY HOW YOU KNEW THAT.

281. - BEEN KNOWN TO PARTAKE MYSELF.

282. YES, SIR. - WELL, WELCOME TO THE LEAGUE.

283. ALL RIGHT. DOWN HERE, WE HAVE MANY THINGS.

284. THIS, FOR INSTANCE.

285. THIS IS WHAT USE TO HELP BABIES COME OUT. IT'S VASELINE.

286. - YOU SHOULD TRY THAT ON YOUR — I BELIEVE ON YOUR FACE, SIR.

287. - ON MY LIPS?

288. JUST A LITTLE ON MY LIPS.

289. - JUST A TOUCH. YES.

290. OH.

291. - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. THAT'S ENOUGH. THAT'S ENOUGH.

292. - THAT'S IT.

293. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, SIR. - WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

294. - ABSOLUTELY. - THANK YOU.

295. - IT'S THE KIND OF THING THEY DON'T TEACH YOU IN MED SCHOOL.

296. - NO, YOU DON'T SEE — THAT IS A FACT.

297. A FACT. A FACT!

298. OW, THAT HURT.

299. I DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT, AND IT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT.

300. ALL RIGHT, NOW.

301. HERE WE HAVE SOME SIMPLE COUGH SYRUP THAT PEOPLE TAKE.

302. - ROBOTRIPPING, THEY CALL IT.

303. - ROBOTRIPPING? - YEAH. SIZZURP.

304. - YOU SEEM TO KNOW ALL THE DRUG REFERENCES.

305. - LISTEN TO A LOT OF RAP MUSIC, SIR.

306. - OH, YOU DO?

307. NOW, IT'S ALWAYS IMPORTANT.

308. THESE CHILDPROOF LOCKS ARE VERY HARD TO GET OFF.

309. VERY — SEE?

310. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO MEASURE OUT

311. JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT FOR A CHILD.

312. SHOULDN'T HAVE TOO MUCH.

313. - WELL DONE, SIR. WELL DONE.

314. - MM.

315. I DETECT ALCOHOL.

316. WHOO!

317. NO WONDER LITTLE JIMMY AIN'T COUGHING.

318. HOW WAS THAT?

319. WAS IT GOOD?

320. - EVERYBODY GIVE IT UP FOR WILSON BETHEL!

321. WHOO!

322. YEAH, THAT —

323. WILSON BETHEL. OH, MY GOD!

324. I'M GONNA HUG YOU! THAT WAS AWESOME.

325. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

326. WILSON BETHEL, EVERYBODY!

327. DON'T GO AWAY.

328. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"

329. RIGHT AFTER THIS!

330. WOW!

331. - WELCOME BACK TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?" —

332. WHERE I'VE DECIDED THE WINNER OF TONIGHT'S SHOW

333. IS ALL FOUR OF YOU LOVELY GENTLEMEN.

334. AS A REWARD, I WANT YOU TO JOIN OUR STAR GUEST, WILSON BETHEL,

335. AND READ THE CREDITS OUT AS BARTENDERS

336. SHOWING WILSON YOUR BEST COCKTAILS.

337. THANKS FOR WATCHING, GUYS. GOOD NIGHT.

338. - WE GOT DAN PATTERSON.

339. - THAT'S THE MOST DIFFICULT DRINK TO MAKE,

340. BECAUSE IT NEVER FINISHES.

341. - WAYNE BRADY HERE. - YEP, I JUST SHAKE IT UP.

342. - TRY THIS RYAN STILES. IT COMES IN A VERY TALL GLASS.

343. - WE CALL THIS THE DEENA KATZ.

344. - DON'T FORGET THE CARROTS.

345. - CARROTS?

346. - IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR EYES!

347. - OH, SORRY.

348. - GOT THE JULIANNE — JULIANNE MORRISH.

349. - OH, NO. WE DON'T SERVE THAT ANYMORE.

350. A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE GETTING SICK ON THAT.

351. - THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO SHAKE IT.

352. —Captions by VITAC—