1. Ask not what
your country can do for you.
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2. Ask what you can do
for your country.
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3. Mr. Gorbachev,
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4. tear down this wall!
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5. The only thing we have to fear
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6. is fear itself!
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7. "Uhh, I don't
know what I said. Uhh!"
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8. I don't remember!
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9. On tonight's show,
Rick Sherman tries to make it
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10. in the world
of electronic dance music.
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11. Welcome to Miami, my brother.
Good to finally meet you, man.
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12. Have a seat, man.
Make yourself at home.
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13. Let's, uh —
Let's chop it up.
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14. So I started —
You know, I had two years left.
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15. And I thought, "Am I gonna
waste my time here in jail?"
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16. I thought, "No, I'm gonna
make an EDM track."
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17. So that's what I did.
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18. I went around and I recorded
things 'round jail.
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19. So I'm gonna get
to hear this track?
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20. Yeah, you want to hear it?
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21. Can you tell me what
the different, like,
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22. claps and basses
and all that —
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23. Yeah. So one of the riffs
about 35 seconds in,
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24. it's, like,
a dinner hall mess tray
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25. smashing off someone's head.
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26. And then, a lot of the basses
and the synth
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27. and the twanging of the springs
under the top bunk.
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28. Hey, hey.
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29. Then we got like, toilet
flushes, people, like, vomiting.
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30. You know, pissing,
whatever.
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31. This is a buggery.
This is the buggery.
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32. Is that you?
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33. - What's that?
- Is that you?
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34. Uh...
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35. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was.
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36. But you know what?
So what?
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37. You know, we've got
someone being stabbed.
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38. You know, I didn't do
the stabbing.
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39. Sorry, mate,
I'm gonna stab you.
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40. It's for a song.
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41. It's a tragedy
when someone gets stabbed,
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42. but the good thing is
I was there to record it.
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43. And so, in a way,
they've given their life to art.
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44. I mean, if it's happening,
might as well capture it.
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45. Exactly.
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46. Watch your fucking teeth.
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47. I never saw
a fucking thing, mate.
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48. I never saw a fucking thing.
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49. I think that's
a masterpiece, man.
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50. Kept me, like,
at the edge of my seat.
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51. You're joking.
You're just mocking me.
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52. No, no. Actually sounds very,
like, UK, too.
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53. - I like that.
- Sure.
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54. Well, they're all — All
the people doing the stabbing
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55. and the sodomy
are all British.
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56. That's awesome, man.
I'm really interested in this.
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57. If you're okay with it,
I'd like to put you, like,
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58. in an actual,
real booth in a stage,
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59. and I would love
to hear this dropped.
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60. - That is amazing.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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61. Are there gonna be girls
at the club?
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62. Yeah, yeah.
It's usually girls at the club.
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63. Girls do love deejays, man.
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64. Oh, really?
No, that's what I've heard.
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65. - Yeah.
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66. - What for? What, like —
- And deejays love deejays.
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67. And this —
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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68. Once, you know,
you break the ice,
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69. you're good, man.
You're back in the game.
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70. - Break a what?
- Break the ice, you know?
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71. Oh, I thought
you'd break her eyes.
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72. No, no, no,
not "break her eyes."
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73. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know that.
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74. If I make all the calls,
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75. I'll definitely find a party
that matches this sound.
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76. And I'm definitely
gonna get it out there.
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77. That would be amazing.
Brilliant.
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78. - Later, my brother.
- Amazing.
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79. His whole story is extreme.
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80. His music's extreme.
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81. So I really think the scene
really needs stuff like that.
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82. Two days later, Jake called.
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83. He'd scored an opportunity for
Rick, now renamed DJ Solitary,
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84. to perform at Sway,
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85. one of Florida's
most influential nightclubs.
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86. - Jake!
- My man!
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87. How's it going?
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88. - What's going on, my brother.
- Hey, how are you?
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89. - Hello.
- Wow!
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90. - Hey!
- Wow, that's amazing.
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91. Wow, they're, like,
real — real girls.
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92. - Yeah, they're real girls.
- Yeah, we're real girls.
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93. Whoa, amazing.
Whoa.
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94. So the question is, man,
you ready for tonight or what?
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95. Yeah, right.
Jake said that deejays gets BJs.
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96. What's a BJ?
What's a BJ?
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97. Can you please tell him
what a BJ is?
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98. - Oh.
- A blow job.
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99. - Oh, like fellatio?
- Yes, like fellatio.
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100. - Oh, oh, yeah.
- Deejays get BJs.
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101. - For sure.
- Not necessarily from me,
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102. but in general,
deejays get BJs.
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103. Oh, no, no, no, I'm not assuming
at all it would come from you.
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104. I'm a bit nervous 'cause I ain't
been around many dolly birds.
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105. My mom always said,
you know,
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106. "You're so ugly that you'd just
go out and start robbing."
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107. And then, once I got caught,
she said,
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108. "Luckily, you're so ugly
that no one's
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109. actually gonna ever touch
your posterior."
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110. But the joke's on her
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111. 'cause I actually got sodomized
almost every day.
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112. We got something special
for you tonight.
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113. We got DJ Solitary
making his United States debut.
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114. Give it up for DJ Solitary!
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115. Here we go!
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116. I fucking love him.
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117. I love him!
You did a great job.
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118. I was crying.
I'm so proud of you.
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119. - Oh, thank you so much.
- You did so good.
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120. I need more of that.
I need more DJ Solitary.
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121. - Give me another one.
- Oh, great.
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122. BJ or no BJ?
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123. Not from me,
but I can find you somebody.
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124. - Oh, great. That would be great.
- I'll keep my eyes open.
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125. We are going to drain the swamp
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126. in Washington, D.C.
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127. There is a secret society
that I've found
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128. called the
American Cancer Society.
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129. Liberal elites are raising money
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130. to give Americans cancer.
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131. I'm here with
Corey Lewandowski.
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132. He was the campaign manager
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133. for President Donald J. Trump.
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134. And so
he helped get elected
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135. the greatest president
we've had
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136. whose gonna be looking after
the interests of the common man.
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137. Corey. Good job, Corey.
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138. Donald Trump's
campaign manager,
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139. Corey Lewandowski,
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140. charged for alleged simple
battery of a female reporter.
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141. I read today about a 10-year-old
girl with Down syndrome
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142. who was taken from her mother
and put in a cage.
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143. - Womp, womp.
- I read about a — a —
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144. Did you just say,
"Womp, womp"?
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145. Is Donald Trump a racist, or is
he the least racist man alive?
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146. I can tell you this,
I had the privilege of standing
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147. and sitting next
to candidate Trump
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148. and now the president
for thousands of hours
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149. over my tenure
running his campaign.
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150. Never, ever, ever did
I ever hear him utter
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151. a racist word
in his life, ever.
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152. I mean,
if he was a racist,
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153. why would he have moved
into a black man's house?
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154. No, that's the people's house.
Look, the White House —
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155. No, but he didn't rebuild it,
didn't say,
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156. "I'm not gonna move in there,"
didn't knock it down.
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157. The president doesn't
look at race. Never has.
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158. - Of course.
- It's a non-issue to him.
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159. I wanna say,
with Charlottesville,
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160. where people attacked
our president,
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161. why should the president
pick a side
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162. between anti-fascist
and fascist?
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163. He's the president
of all people.
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164. There is a place
and a time
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165. to disagree
with people everywhere, okay?
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166. You don't have to agree
with people.
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167. Wait, you have to respect them,
and you can't be attacking them.
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168. Exactly, you can't be —
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169. you can't be attacking honest,
fascist people
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170. who just want to express
their right to start a genocide.
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171. That is their right.
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172. Look, I don't know about that,
but what I do know is this —
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173. All right, okay.
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174. If the law says that people
can do a peaceful protest,
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175. they should be allowed
to do that.
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176. Listen, I do not hate Jews.
I am not an anti-yosemite.
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177. In fact, some of my
very good friends hate Jews.
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178. Now let's talk about
mainstream media.
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179. - Mm-hmm.
- Shouldn't we be worried about
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180. who really owns the media?
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181. I don't know who owns it.
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182. I mean, I think it's
the shareholders who own it.
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183. PBS.
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184. PBS.
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185. This may be public broadcasting,
but look at that.
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186. if you move those bits
and shrink them...
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187. it shows the proof
that they are owned
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188. by the biggest force
in politics.
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189. I don't know what that is.
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190. That is
smoking marijuana.
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191. Why?
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192. Because they are owned
by the Rastafarian lobby.
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193. I wouldn't know
anything about that.
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194. The Rastafarian lobby
were behind a lot
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195. of the military decisions
of the last 30 years.
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196. The invasion of Iraq
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197. was because
the Rastafarian lobby,
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198. their leader,
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199. General Robert Marley,
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200. suggested that they
had over —
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201. I think they developed over
45,000 buffalo soldiers,
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202. these dread-locked Rastas
who were marching through Africa
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203. into the heart of America.
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204. And then the plan was
to take them into Iraq.
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205. I don't know if that qualifies
as conclusive evidence,
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206. but, you know,
I've never seen that before.
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207. I'm not sure.
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208. Let's talk about one thing
they accuse Donald Trump of —
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209. Donald J. Trump,
the president.
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210. They accuse him
of being a misogynist.
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211. Donald Trump said,
"There is no one
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212. who respects women
more than me."
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213. Is that the truth,
or is it a lie?
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214. Look, his actions demonstrate
that that's true.
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215. - Of course!
- And the fact that —
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216. He's a —
He's basically a feminist.
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217. Now, look, the American
people are so smart.
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218. They don't
believe it anymore.
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219. They don't believe the fake news
which has been there —
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220. That's true. I wanna give people
out there evidence.
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221. Here he is with
the president of Germany.
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222. Look where his eyes are —
looking straight in the eyes.
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223. He's not looking
at the titties.
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224. He's looking straight
at the eyes,
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225. which is what
a feminist would do.
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226. Looks like a person
who respects a lot of people.
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227. What about when he said
of Miss Venezuela,
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228. he called her "Miss Piggy."
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229. Is that sexist?
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230. Look, I think the president
was reacting to something
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231. that he wanted to react to,
but —
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232. I know also, Miss Piggy
is the most powerful
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233. and admired
of all the Muppets.
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234. She's not a weak woman.
I mean, Miss Piggy —
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235. Yeah,
I don't know about that.
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236. Beautiful!
You look great.
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237. What's popping?
This is Mahbod, AKA "Ma boo."
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238. That's my hip-hop name.
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239. Okay, love. Love.
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240. Show me love.
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241. They are the founders
of RapGenius.
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242. I kid you not, Jesus came down
and he told us, "What's up."
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243. And he told us that this is
gonna be the biggest site.
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244. The sunglasses are
kind of my trademark.
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245. - Yeah, I love the —
- People who know tech,
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246. they, like, know that, like,
the RapGenius guys,
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247. - they wear sunglasses.
- Oh, cool.
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248. That's like,
what we're known for.
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249. The reason I like
that you wearing the sunglasses
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250. is that it is,
how you say, "cool."
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251. - Yeah.
- Cool. Like, it is really cool.
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252. - Yeah.
- Like a black guy cool.
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253. - Yeah.
- Do something like a black guy.
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254. Really black guy now.
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255. The face — black guy.
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256. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
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257. This face.
You gotta mean business.
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258. Okay, really tough.
Really tough.
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259. Pop, pop, pop.
Pop.
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260. Okay, black guy.
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261. We want to show
that you're, like,
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262. a great guy, as well,
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263. that you made money
in terms of the Internet.
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264. But also, like,
you help people.
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265. So we're gonna replace this guy
just with a green screen
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266. and our view
as if you were there, like,
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267. helping feeding children
in Sudan.
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268. Of course, the show is —
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269. We open the show
is sponsored by Nobu.
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270. Okay, yeah,
tip the sushi more to me.
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271. You know what? I want to
make you a bit more sexy.
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272. I want to make you
hot guy, you know?
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273. Okay, so you are
saving another baby.
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274. Okay, beautiful.
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275. In the camp,
in the refugee camp.
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276. Beautiful,
while giving sushi.
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277. Okay,
really give the sushi.
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278. We're hoping we're gonna get
sponsorship from Clarisonic.
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279. So just offer these.
So just hold the baby and that.
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280. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Really serious.
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281. Okay, heroic. Heroic.
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282. Okay.
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283. A little thing.
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284. You want to have
a couple minutes
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285. to make yourself a little —
the pee-pee a bit bigger.
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286. - The camera...
- Yeah.
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287. it takes off
a couple of inches.
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288. - Sure, yeah.
- You want to make yourself...
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289. Just put it down.
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290. - Very good.
- Okay, just push it down a bit.
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291. It's okay.
Adjust it a little bit.
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292. A bit further down.
Okay, great. Great.
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293. Okay, so we're looking good.
It looks beautiful.
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294. Okay. Okay.
Bye, bye, bye.
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295. It's not — They're suggesting
we should use black babies.
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296. - Okay.
- Okay, the black babies.
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297. Okay, quickly.
Sit down.
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298. - It's fine.
- Okay.
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299. Okay,
use the black babies.
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300. Okay, fantastico change.
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301. Okay, we go fast, okay?
Sorry, sorry to rush you.
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302. Okay, quick, quick,
quick, quick.
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303. Hi. It's OMGWhizzBoyOMG.
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304. Oh, cutesy, cutesy.
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305. I'm here doing some unboxing
with my new BFF,
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306. Sheriff David Clarke.
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307. Thank you.
I appreciate it.
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308. Milwaukee County
Sheriff David Clarke
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309. meeting with Donald Trump
this afternoon.
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310. There's no police brutality
in America.
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311. We ended that back
in the '60s.
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312. Four people have died
in his jail in Milwaukee County,
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313. including an infant.
Copy !req
314. We now going to talk
about issues
Copy !req
315. while we are doing
the unboxing.
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316. So let's talk about
the dangerous people
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317. who marched in Charlottesville,
or as they're called "Antifa."
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318. What are they like?
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319. Antifa is an anarchist group,
all right?
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320. They promote chaos.
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321. So they come in.
Again, this is not protest.
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322. When you start
trashing buildings,
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323. breaking into buildings,
stealing stuff —
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324. Amazing!
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325. It's Mackenzie Maple Donut!
Dab. Dab.
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326. Jazz hands!
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327. Tell me about Antifa.
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328. Should I join them?
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329. - Uh...
- Can I join Antifa?
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330. Mackenzie Maple Donut,
do not join Antifa.
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331. They — They support killing
of police officers.
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332. They support disorder.
Copy !req
333. So if you were the sheriff
in the '30s in Germany
Copy !req
334. and the anti-fascists
were marching,
Copy !req
335. the Antifa were marching,
Copy !req
336. what would you have done
to stop them?
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337. Well, you have to
act aggressively.
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338. When I say that, you have to use
force to disperse the crowd.
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339. You have to be willing to arrest
people, take then to jail.
Copy !req
340. Exactly. It's a shame that
there weren't brave sheriffs
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341. like you around in Germany
in the '30s,
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342. because you could have
protected the fascists
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343. and let them speak
their mind a bit clearer,
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344. and then things could have
been done a bit quicker.
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345. Well, you don't want
to take sides.
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346. When you say,
"Protect the fascists."
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347. You don't want
to take sides.
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348. Of course. Particularly
not in Germany in the '30s.
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349. Okay, let's have a look.
OMG, big, big fun.
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350. "Hey, Sheriff," says,
SharkBait007.
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351. Deplorable Don,
"Sheriff, if I am 32,
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352. is it legal to date
a 14-year-old in Alabama?"
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353. Absolutely not.
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354. Okay, so you have
the answer there.
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355. Now it's
"smell your fingers" time.
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356. Will you smell your fingers?
Because you had them —
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357. - Mm-hmm.
- Do your fingers smell of box?
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358. No, they smell sweet.
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359. My fingers smell like my sister
after she been roller skating.
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360. Wow,
I'm not going there.
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361. Oh, no, unfortunately,
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362. she was murdered
three years ago.
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363. Oh, that's terrible.
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364. I know, and they didn't find
who did it
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365. because they didn't
look in the lake.
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366. Wow.
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367. Jazz hands!
Sheriff Clarke, jazz hands.
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368. Hands up.
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369. My name Brigadier Erran Morad.
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370. Radical Islam is on the rise.
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371. It would be America's
number-one cause for terror
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372. if not for patriotic white men
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373. who have been forced to do more
and more mass shootings.
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374. The only solution
is my training course.
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375. Yalla. Let's go.
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376. - This is Daniel Roberts...
- Yes.
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377. who is the founder of
the Youth Shooters of America.
Copy !req
378. Dan Roberts, an avid
gun enthusiast for 30 years.
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379. There is nothing exceptionally
high-powered about an AR-15.
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380. What David Hogg
and Emma Gonzalez
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381. have said repeatedly
smacks of emotional blackmail.
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382. The man
just shot 600 people!
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383. What are you going to
do about it?
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384. We're not going to do
much of anything, hopefully.
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385. How did you get to
overcome your instinct
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386. and be able
to shoot the youth?
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387. Well, I haven't done that.
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388. What we do is teach and promote
youth shooting sports.
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389. You shoot the youth
for sport?
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390. No. No,
in the United States,
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391. there are several
different disciplines
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392. of competitive shooting.
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393. So it is to train?
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394. It's to promote
safe use with kids.
Copy !req
395. But there's something wrong
with the culture
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396. that we can't talk about kids
being around guns.
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397. It is crucial to have
the guns in the schools.
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398. Yes, absolutely.
I absolutely agree with you.
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399. Well, one time
in my nephew class,
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400. a man come in, shouts,
screaming at them.
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401. The kids take out guns.
Bang, bang, bang.
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402. That substitute teacher
did not stand a chance.
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403. Right, right.
Copy !req
404. Two of the classmates shot,
but mistake can happen.
Copy !req
405. And it saved more lives
than it harmed.
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406. Exactly. Have you ever been
in a terrorist attack?
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407. No.
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408. I have been in 14,
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409. and I have started three.
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410. Wow.
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411. What happen
in a terror attack?
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412. It's chaos.
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413. And what
the natural instinct?
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414. - Is to retreat.
- To be quiet.
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415. - Yeah. Yeah.
- The voice retreat.
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416. So we will have a conversation
now but shouting.
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417. You must use your voice
as a weapon.
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418. - Okay.
- Are you ready to do this?
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419. Yes!
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420. - How are you?
- Fine!
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421. - What did you do today?
- Drove here!
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422. - How many children you have?
- Two!
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423. - What are they?
- Boy and a girl!
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424. - Do you love them?
- Absolutely!
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425. What is the cutest thing
about your daughter?
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426. Her smile!
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427. What is the cutest thing
about the other child?
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428. His dimples!
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429. - What do you do to relax?
- Read a book!
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430. What kind of book
you find most relaxing?
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431. Tom Clancy!
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432. Why is it
so interesting?
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433. Getting inside
the characters!
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434. Good.
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435. Who do you think is the most
likely age of terrorist?
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436. 15 to 25.
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437. 23% in the Middle East
is done by children.
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438. That's tough.
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439. Now I will show you how
to defend from a suicide diaper.
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440. Wow.
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441. We are in
a shopping center.
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442. One of these baby
is wearing a suicide diaper.
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443. We take the diaper off.
We put it in the trash can.
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444. We close.
And then we go on the floor.
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445. The bomb is going to go off
in 10 seconds.
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446. Ready? Go!
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447. 10... nine... eight...
seven... six...
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448. five... four... three...
two... one.
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449. Go! Bang!
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450. Why did you put that baby
in the trash can?
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451. Because I wanted to get the bomb
to as safe a place as I could,
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452. more than anything else.
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453. This baby
didn't have the bomb.
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454. Okay.
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455. Please do not put
the wrong baby in the trash can.
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456. - No, that would be a bad thing.
- In the Mossad —
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457. I mean, not in the Mossad.
We prefer to remove the bomb
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458. and put that away
and save the baby if we can.
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459. Sure.
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460. Because we found out
that some of them
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461. do not really believe
in the ideology.
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462. And not all of
these babies are Jihadi.
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463. Right.
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464. Okay, now I am
going to teach you
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465. how to survive
a beheading.
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466. Oh, okay,
I'm very interested.
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467. I survive two beheading.
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468. Wow. I want to know
how to do this, sir.
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469. - There is only one defense.
- Okay.
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470. - You want to learn it?
- Absolutely.
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471. The only vulnerable
point is the groin.
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472. So I am going to
attack the groin.
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473. Really?
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474. Do you want to have
somebody remove your manhood?
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475. Right, right.
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476. - Do you want to?
- No, of course not.
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477. - You bite, you have him.
- Right.
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478. Don't let go
until you are safe.
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479. Right.
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480. One time, I had my attacker's
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481. in my mouth for four hours
and 40 minutes.
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482. Right, right.
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483. By the end of the attack,
I let him live.
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484. Wow.
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485. In the four hours
and 20 minutes
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486. I had him in my mouth,
something happened in his mind.
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487. Now he have
given up terror.
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488. He have separated
from his wives.
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489. And he's running
a PR company in Turkey.
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490. - Right.
- Okay, so what you are doing
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491. is you identify
the target.
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492. So we go slow.
You identify the target.
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493. I put up the sword.
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494. I am talking,
and now you attack.
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495. Nobody move!
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496. Drop your weapons!
Stay cool!
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497. Everybody to the outside!
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498. - What?
- Move to the outside!
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499. Stay cool!
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500. Everybody
drop the weapon.
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501. - Go, go.
- Drop 'em now!
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502. Everybody stay
where you are!
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503. Okay.
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504. Don't follow us,
or you're next!
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505. Don't move!
Walk!
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506. Walk! Walk!
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