1. Sir, you need to see this.Copy !req
2. Mother of God.Copy !req
3. Double Feature.Copy !req
4. All new.
Wednesdays at 10.Copy !req
5. On FX.Copy !req
6. Today's a very special day.Copy !req
7. It's my master's Accession Day.Copy !req
8. It's the anniversaryCopy !req
9. of when he was crowned
Supreme ViceroyCopy !req
10. for Al Qolnidar.Copy !req
11. So it's kind of a big deal.Copy !req
12. His favorite. Crepe-y paper.Copy !req
13. Every year,
I try to do something specialCopy !req
14. for the occasion.Copy !req
15. The whole house gets into it,Copy !req
16. like, really into it.Copy !req
17. Yes! Oh, yeah!Copy !req
18. Colin Robinson gets, uh,Copy !req
19. a little too much into it.Copy !req
20. Ah...
- Oh, no.Copy !req
21. No. I-I don't think you should
be wearing that turban again.Copy !req
22. Well, I think you need to do
some research.Copy !req
23. 'Cause not only is
this turban accurateCopy !req
24. to the ancient civilizations
of Persia,Copy !req
25. it also happens to be a gift
from my good friend,Copy !req
26. the Maharaja Duleep Singh.Copy !req
27. So if you have anything to say,Copy !req
28. - to either myself
or the maharaja...
- I just, it's not that.Copy !req
29. It was kept in storage
in the basement,Copy !req
30. and the rats were nesting
in there.Copy !req
31. Oh, right.Copy !req
32. Oh. Here it is.Copy !req
33. Let's go.Copy !req
34. Off you fuck.Copy !req
35. Hey, Master.Copy !req
36. - Happy Accession Day, Nandor!Copy !req
37. It's your big Accession Day,
Master.Copy !req
38. - Did you forget?
- No.Copy !req
39. Okay.Copy !req
40. Well, it's just one of
those mornings, I guess.Copy !req
41. But the night's just beginning.Copy !req
42. I'll bet.
- Yay!Copy !req
43. I made you a little something,
and I hope you like it.Copy !req
44. Great.Copy !req
45. Well, he didn't like that.Copy !req
46. What's up with him?Copy !req
47. Colin Robinson,
you can stop belly dancing.Copy !req
48. - He's not even in the room.
- I know.Copy !req
49. This is just for me.Copy !req
50. Another Accession Day.Copy !req
51. Pitiful.Copy !req
52. On this day
hundreds of years ago,Copy !req
53. I rose to power in my country.Copy !req
54. Blah, blah, blah.
Yada yada yada.Copy !req
55. It's just another milestone to
celebrate for the rest of time.Copy !req
56. Believe it or
don't believe it, baby,Copy !req
57. but vampire depression is
the real fucking deal.Copy !req
58. The prospect of immortalityCopy !req
59. can give some vampires
the shits.Copy !req
60. They hate the idea of staring
down life's eternal tunnel.Copy !req
61. What does it all mean?Copy !req
62. Nothing.Copy !req
63. When a vampire is depressed,Copy !req
64. - the best treatment is
to avoid them at all costs.
Yeah.Copy !req
65. I'm 700 years old,Copy !req
66. and what have I got
to show for it?Copy !req
67. I'm a fully grown vampire,
and I still have roommates.Copy !req
68. I have no life partner.Copy !req
69. - I have no living children.Copy !req
70. I have no one to share my dreams
or my fears with.Copy !req
71. Sorry, Nandor.
We were just...Copy !req
72. - I just have to check
something, um...
Hurry.Copy !req
73. I mean, once you see
Colin Robinson belly dancingCopy !req
74. a few times,Copy !req
75. the magic kind of wears off.Copy !req
76. It doesn't matter that I'mCopy !req
77. an infinitely powerful being.Copy !req
78. - Doesn't mean anything
when you live for eternity.Copy !req
79. Everything loses its meaning
when you live for eternity.Copy !req
80. In all the years
I've known Nandor, I've...Copy !req
81. I've never seen him like this.Copy !req
82. I think he might be having
a midlife crisis.Copy !req
83. But he's immortal, so I guess...Copy !req
84. maybe more like a crisis-crisis.Copy !req
85. Nandor's in crisis.Copy !req
86. So, everyone, we haveCopy !req
87. a very important
Vampiric Council dutyCopy !req
88. that I'm afraid is even too hardCopy !req
89. for my absolutely
amazing abilities.Copy !req
90. Someone hasn't paidCopy !req
91. their Vampiric Council
union fees in a while.Copy !req
92. Oh, no.Copy !req
93. Sometimes it is nice
to tiptoe in and remind NandorCopy !req
94. that, uh, he's
very important vampireCopy !req
95. with very important
jobs to do and...Copy !req
96. Also, collecting
Vampire Council duesCopy !req
97. is basically vampire shit work.Copy !req
98. And I don't want to do it!Copy !req
99. But, you know,
more the first thing,Copy !req
100. that I want to raise
my-my friend up.Copy !req
101. So, who wants to tackle
this one?Copy !req
102. Well, I don't know, milady.Copy !req
103. Are you sure anyone here is up
for this task?Copy !req
104. Oh, shit. Um, yeah— Oh.
No, my darling.Copy !req
105. I wouldn't be man enough?Copy !req
106. Hmm.Copy !req
107. O-Oh. Uh...Copy !req
108. I-I would love to help you out,Copy !req
109. but I, too, fear I'm not,
uh, man eno— whatever.Copy !req
110. No, that's right.
You are very shit-stupid man,Copy !req
111. so you can't do it.Copy !req
112. How about you, Nandor?
Bill collection?Copy !req
113. Okay, fine. I'll do it.Copy !req
114. There you go. Yes!Copy !req
115. It's a very special job,Copy !req
116. - and we need the most...
- I said I'll do it!Copy !req
117. Give me that. Fuck!Copy !req
118. - Do you want me to come
with you?
- No!Copy !req
119. Ah.Copy !req
120. Oh, great.Copy !req
121. They have wellness vampires now.Copy !req
122. Um...Copy !req
123. You don't happen to know
where I could findCopy !req
124. someone called Jan, do you?Copy !req
125. Thanks very much.Copy !req
126. The fuck is that?Copy !req
127. - Come on, then.Copy !req
128. Stretch those out.
That's what I want to see, yes!Copy !req
129. Stretch those hammies,
feel the burn! Yes!Copy !req
130. Um...
- Oh, welcome.Copy !req
131. Sorry, I am just here for...Copy !req
132. Jan?Copy !req
133. Please join us,
bring your cameras.Copy !req
134. - No secrets here.
- Uh, no.Copy !req
135. - I am just here
for your debt collection.
- Take a seat.Copy !req
136. So...Copy !req
137. What do we love?Copy !req
138. To sweat.Copy !req
139. And how do we sweat?Copy !req
140. By dancing.Copy !req
141. And what do we say
to newcomers?Copy !req
142. Welcome. You must stretch
before you dance.Copy !req
143. Uh, like I said,
as I was standing over there,Copy !req
144. I am only here
to, uh, collect a debtCopy !req
145. for Vampire Council dues
you haven't paid in 132 years.Copy !req
146. Oh, you must be mistaken.Copy !req
147. No vampires here, pal.Copy !req
148. - But, you are Jan, yes?Copy !req
149. Yes, but I am no longer
a vampire.Copy !req
150. That's... Wow.Copy !req
151. Eesh. You have all pulled
your own fangs out.Copy !req
152. Very disturbing, uh,
but it does not negate the factCopy !req
153. - that, uh, you owe a great sum.
- No sum to be paid, friend,Copy !req
154. for we are no longer vampires.Copy !req
155. We have become humans again.Copy !req
156. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
157. How is such a thing
even possible?Copy !req
158. Welcome.
Come on in, have a seat.Copy !req
159. Uh, no, thank you.Copy !req
160. As you know, being a vampire,
I cannot eat or drink.Copy !req
161. Poor you.Copy !req
162. Ah...Copy !req
163. How long have you been caught up
in this whole vampire trip?Copy !req
164. I have been a vampire
for over 700 years,Copy !req
165. - if that's what you're asking.
- Yes, but— one second.Copy !req
166. No, no, no, no, no,
you need to selectCopy !req
167. the Epson 4750
in the print queue window.Copy !req
168. Not the Bonjour printing.Copy !req
169. I am so sorry. One second.Copy !req
170. Ah... Tell me.Copy !req
171. Are you happy being a vampire?Copy !req
172. - I've had better days.
- What if I were to tell youCopy !req
173. that there's another way?Copy !req
174. A way that you can walk
into the sun.Copy !req
175. A way that you can
become human again.Copy !req
176. I'd say you were full of shit.Copy !req
177. Eh... Well, perhaps
this path isn't for you.Copy !req
178. This is a difficult
and treacherous path,Copy !req
179. but the rewards...Copy !req
180. the rewards are unspeakably...Copy !req
181. delicious.Copy !req
182. So, after short deliberation...Copy !req
183. Yes.Copy !req
184. I have decided to joinCopy !req
185. the Formerly Fanged.Copy !req
186. The brochure is
very persuasive.Copy !req
187. I am skeptical by nature,
but this Jan,Copy !req
188. she's really speaking to me,
you know?Copy !req
189. She also is incredibly beautiful
and has a rocking body.Copy !req
190. So, you're renouncing
your vampirismCopy !req
191. to go and try living as a human?Copy !req
192. - Yes. What part of that
is not clear?Copy !req
193. Well, how about the whole thing?Copy !req
194. You can't just pretend to be
a human, you knoblord.Copy !req
195. Pretending to be human is just
the first step.Copy !req
196. Well,
what is the second step?Copy !req
197. I'm not clear
on all the steps yet.Copy !req
198. Why are you dressed
like a Playmobil figurine?Copy !req
199. Because this is how I used
to dress when I was a human.Copy !req
200. This is all very stupid.Copy !req
201. Not to mention that we are the
leaders of the Vampiric Council!Copy !req
202. We're going to be a
laughingstock when they find outCopy !req
203. you've gone crying off to go
and play human dress-up.Copy !req
204. - Right?
- I mean, I personally
wouldn't laugh,Copy !req
205. but there are those who would.Copy !req
206. Well, you don't have to worry
about that anymore,Copy !req
207. because you'll never
see me again.Copy !req
208. - Give me that.Copy !req
209. Give me that!Copy !req
210. Have a great,
unenlightened eternity.Copy !req
211. Farewell!Copy !req
212. Auf Wiedersehen!Copy !req
213. Good night, Seattle,
and good mental health!Copy !req
214. - See ya.
- Master. Master?Copy !req
215. I get his room.Copy !req
216. Master, wait!Copy !req
217. As your official bodyguard,Copy !req
218. it's my duty to go with you
everywhere—Copy !req
219. I am no longer your master!Copy !req
220. I hereby relieve you
of your service.Copy !req
221. What?Copy !req
222. It is time for me
to find happiness.Copy !req
223. Well, I want to find happiness,
too!Copy !req
224. What do you think I've been
doing for the last 11 years?Copy !req
225. Oh, boy. Here we go again
with this shit.Copy !req
226. Why do you think I've lived
with you this whole time?Copy !req
227. Can you please...Copy !req
228. please turn me into a vampire
before you leave?Copy !req
229. So that after all these years,Copy !req
230. you and I both,
both can be happy.Copy !req
231. Guillermo.Copy !req
232. Despite my cold dead heart and
your "just okay" personality,Copy !req
233. I've grown to have
some affection for you.Copy !req
234. - Just a little bit,
but, you know...
- And I for you, Mas—Copy !req
235. Well, obviously.Copy !req
236. But vampirism is a curse,Copy !req
237. and I care for you too muchCopy !req
238. to burden you with that.Copy !req
239. It would weigh too heavily
on my conscience.Copy !req
240. Boop.
There's that smile.Copy !req
241. Once a vampire...Copy !req
242. tonight, I am only a man.Copy !req
243. Dry your face.Copy !req
244. You look like a pair
of wet undies.Copy !req
245. As I can no longer fly,Copy !req
246. I will have
a nice evening stroll to Jan's.Copy !req
247. - Just a human man crossing
the street.
- C-Careful.Copy !req
248. Are you shitting me?Copy !req
249. You can't just walk out
into the street like that.Copy !req
250. You have to look both ways.Copy !req
251. That's literally rule number one
of being human.Copy !req
252. It's a bad start.Copy !req
253. What the fuck am I gonna do
with this?Copy !req
254. It's been about a month
since... What's his name?Copy !req
255. Nandor!
Come on, Laszlo.Copy !req
256. Sorry.
Uh, since he buggered off.Copy !req
257. Nothing much has changed,
though, to be honest.Copy !req
258. One thing that has changed,
which is such a relief,Copy !req
259. is you don't have
this constant soundtrackCopy !req
260. of weeping in the house
the whole time.Copy !req
261. - We don't miss that, do we?
- No.Copy !req
262. So, I've moved
into Nandor's room.Copy !req
263. Uh, it's taken me awhileCopy !req
264. - to get my scent on everything.Copy !req
265. Regular vampires have
no gastric system.Copy !req
266. Energy vampires do,
to annoy those around themCopy !req
267. and mark their territory.Copy !req
268. It's beginning to feel
like home.Copy !req
269. It's been kind of tough,
honestly.Copy !req
270. You know, I've known Nandor
for a long time,Copy !req
271. and now he's not in my life
anymore.Copy !req
272. He didn't even leave an address
or anything,Copy !req
273. which is hurtful.Copy !req
274. I mean, I guess know now
how it feels.Copy !req
275. All the times I left or quit.Copy !req
276. I just never thought that...Copy !req
277. that he'd be the one,
you know, to leave, so...Copy !req
278. I'm just sorry that
we couldn't make him happy,Copy !req
279. and I hope he's happy now.Copy !req
280. I love my life here.Copy !req
281. I feel invigorated.Copy !req
282. - More broccoli.
- I forgot how exciting it wasCopy !req
283. to live like a human.Copy !req
284. Now, when doing your taxes,Copy !req
285. women, act like you
don't understand.Copy !req
286. Yes, Nandy?Copy !req
287. Yes, it seems to me
that this Uncle SamCopy !req
288. is bleeding us dry.Copy !req
289. Maybe we should bleed him!Copy !req
290. No, no, no, no, no.
We blow off steamCopy !req
291. with an IPA or maybe
an evening bike ride.Copy !req
292. All right, let's move on
to how to tip.Copy !req
293. Every moment is precious.Copy !req
294. Come on, Nandy!Copy !req
295. We rip out our fangs
every night.Copy !req
296. They always grow back
in the morning.Copy !req
297. But Jan says she's working on
a way to make it permanent!Copy !req
298. Because we are forbidden
to use our vampiric powersCopy !req
299. or strength in any way,Copy !req
300. life is constantly
surprising me.Copy !req
301. I have lost 123 straight
games of corn hole,Copy !req
302. and I have never felt
more alive.Copy !req
303. I missed it! I missed it!Copy !req
304. Yes, Nandy. Very human.Copy !req
305. Jan has taught me so much.Copy !req
306. This is especially
important for the womenCopy !req
307. when you're an expert
about something,Copy !req
308. and a man is explaining it
to you.Copy !req
309. Strained eyes
but really big smile.Copy !req
310. would reignite the zeal for life
I thought to be long dormant?Copy !req
311. She has changed my life.Copy !req
312. Oh, yeah, we're fucking.Copy !req
313. - One, two, three, four,Copy !req
314. five, six, seven,
make it hot.Copy !req
315. I should probably
check in on him.Copy !req
316. Not in a weird way.Copy !req
317. Like, I don't need
to check in on peop—Copy !req
318. I just want to
make sure he's okay,Copy !req
319. 'cause if something wasn't okayCopy !req
320. and I didn't do
anything about it,Copy !req
321. then I couldn't live
with myself.Copy !req
322. So, as a good friend,Copy !req
323. I'm going to look
into what he's doingCopy !req
324. without him knowing.Copy !req
325. I'm really worried about him.Copy !req
326. He's out there
in the real world,Copy !req
327. and it could be dangerous,
you know?Copy !req
328. Like, what if he's
in real big trouble?Copy !req
329. Whoa.Copy !req
330. What are you doing
in my room?Copy !req
331. Nandor must have left
some kind of clue somewhere,Copy !req
332. telling us where he's at
or where he's going.Copy !req
333. Like, maybe this pamphletCopy !req
334. that's just sitting out
in the open?Copy !req
335. "In case any of you dumb,
idiot assholes care—"Copy !req
336. assholes with one "S," uh—Copy !req
337. "where I've gone, it's here."Copy !req
338. Give me that.Copy !req
339. All right, but you may want
to wash your hands.Copy !req
340. That has a full room
of butt wind on it.Copy !req
341. Don't want to get pink eye,
or maybe you do, I don't know.Copy !req
342. Don't really give a shit.Copy !req
343. Jan says that she has never seen
anyone as dedicatedCopy !req
344. to our way of life before.Copy !req
345. Don't mind me.Copy !req
346. Yeah!Copy !req
347. So she has given me
a promotion of sorts.Copy !req
348. I am now her number two.Copy !req
349. - How do I look?
- Perfect.Copy !req
350. Jan says we will always be safe
from outsiders,Copy !req
351. and, one day, we will be
human enough to see the sun.Copy !req
352. - And I get to help with that.Copy !req
353. In my former household,Copy !req
354. I would have been teased
mercilesslyCopy !req
355. for saying things like,
"I am a number two."Copy !req
356. But here, number twos are
treated with the utmost respect.Copy !req
357. Something's wrong with Nandor.Copy !req
358. I feel it, so I'm just
gonna make sure that he's okay,Copy !req
359. 'cause I'm a good friend,
or we were friends.Copy !req
360. It's... you know.Copy !req
361. Just want to make sure
everything is okay.Copy !req
362. A little check-in. How did
those get in there?Copy !req
363. Time to get our workout on.Copy !req
364. Hello.Copy !req
365. Sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
366. - I'm just gonna put this
over here.Copy !req
367. Is this anyone's spot?Copy !req
368. Master. Master. Master.Copy !req
369. Guillermo, what in the hell
are you doing here?Copy !req
370. Just taking one of
my favorite classes.Copy !req
371. Yeah, what a coinkydink
to see you here, so crazy.Copy !req
372. You think I was born yesterday?Copy !req
373. I was born a long time
from yesterday.Copy !req
374. - You're here
to spy on me, aren't you?
- No, I just wanted—Copy !req
375. All righty!
- Shit. Fuck.Copy !req
376. - Let's make it hot!
Yeah!Copy !req
377. Yes! Who is ready to burn?Copy !req
378. - Let's do this.Copy !req
379. - Five, six, seven, eight.Copy !req
380. Up, up. Come on.
Give me something.Copy !req
381. Ooh, Nandy,
becoming a natural.Copy !req
382. Looking good, baby.Copy !req
383. Looking good, come on.Copy !req
384. Put some stank on it.Copy !req
385. Stop the music!Copy !req
386. Oh, shit.Copy !req
387. You...Copy !req
388. Who are you?Copy !req
389. Oh, I'm-I'm just Guillermo.Copy !req
390. What the fuck are you doing
here, Guillermo?Copy !req
391. Um, I'm, uh, just...Copy !req
392. I don't know him.Copy !req
393. Just working on my fitness.Copy !req
394. - Mm-hmm.
- Check his bags.Copy !req
395. Well, that's my bag,
so you can't do that.Copy !req
396. - That's my property.
- Oh, no. You didn't.
Tell me you didn't.Copy !req
397. - Yeah, just like towels
and stuff.Copy !req
398. Weapons!Copy !req
399. - Shit.
- Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.Copy !req
400. That's just not what it...
that's not what it looks like.Copy !req
401. I wasn't gonna— That was
just in case something...Copy !req
402. Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, Guillermo.Copy !req
403. - I'm not gonna hurt anyone.Copy !req
404. I'm not gonna hurt anyone.Copy !req
405. My children!Copy !req
406. My fellow human children,Copy !req
407. we have been infiltrated.Copy !req
408. - No, I'm...
- An interloper is here
to ruin us.Copy !req
409. - He is here to kill us
and our dreams.Copy !req
410. He must not leave here.Copy !req
411. He will bring more like him.Copy !req
412. My children,
we are under attack.Copy !req
413. We cannot let this Guillermo
go unpunished.Copy !req
414. - What did you do, Guillermo?
- Cover your face.Copy !req
415. - What?
- Cover your face!Copy !req
416. - Ay! Aah!
- Now!Copy !req
417. Come on, let's go!Copy !req
418. You covered my friends
in garlic powder!Copy !req
419. I'm sorry!Copy !req
420. - That's...
- Come on!Copy !req
421. Sorry, Janet.Copy !req
422. Hey, let go.Copy !req
423. - You have a crucifix
in your pocket?Copy !req
424. - That's not nice.
- Shut up! Let's go!Copy !req
425. You need to chillax!Copy !req
426. - My friends!
- This way!Copy !req
427. Don't hurt my friends!Copy !req
428. Ow! Did you bang your head?Copy !req
429. I don't know
what's come over him.Copy !req
430. - Mimi!Copy !req
431. Mimi, I'm sorry about this!Copy !req
432. - Ay.Copy !req
433. - Come on! Come on!
- Let go!Copy !req
434. - Sorry, Mimi.
- Stay with me!Copy !req
435. - Come on!
- You just punched Jeremy.Copy !req
436. Fuck Jeremy!Copy !req
437. - Let's go.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
438. - I'm rescuing you, Master.
- If I wasn't a human,Copy !req
439. I'd be crushing your dick
and slamming it on the floor.Copy !req
440. - You're not a human.
- Get off me! Ah! That tickles.Copy !req
441. - You've been brainwashed.Copy !req
442. Where are you taking me?Copy !req
443. - I'm taking you home!Copy !req
444. Don't want to be out here.
I want to be in there with Jan!Copy !req
445. You want to be home
with us.
Get in the van.Copy !req
446. That's where you want to be,
okay?Copy !req
447. I didn't need rescuing.Copy !req
448. I was having a great time
back thereCopy !req
449. till you came
and kicked everyone's ass.Copy !req
450. They were trying to kill me!Copy !req
451. They pulled all their fangs out.Copy !req
452. No one's going to bite you.Copy !req
453. We're a gentle people,
a gentle human people.Copy !req
454. You're not a human, Master!Copy !req
455. I'm not?
Then how do you explain this?Copy !req
456. I know the whole fucking song.Copy !req
457. I'd say that was pretty
gosh-darn human, wouldn't you?Copy !req
458. You've been brainwashed.Copy !req
459. Brainwashed, "shmain-washed."Copy !req
460. You know, this is exactly
what Jan warned usCopy !req
461. that the nonbelievers
would accuse us of.Copy !req
462. You've been brainwashed,
but it's okay,Copy !req
463. because we are going
to deprogram you.Copy !req
464. - Stop. Let it go.Copy !req
465. Did you not think for a second—
Listen to me!Copy !req
466. Did you ever consider
for one momentCopy !req
467. that I might be happy
for the first time in decades?Copy !req
468. Decades!Copy !req
469. That I found somewhere
where I feel that I belong?Copy !req
470. That makes me feel
useful and powerfulCopy !req
471. in ways I've never felt.Copy !req
472. Never!Copy !req
473. Not in 700 years.Copy !req
474. Did you ever consider that?Copy !req
475. - No.
- No.Copy !req
476. So what I'm going to do now isCopy !req
477. I'm going to get
out of this car,Copy !req
478. and I'm going to go and get
a taxi or a busCopy !req
479. or subway or Lyft or Uber,Copy !req
480. and I'm gonna go back
to my human community.Copy !req
481. And that is that.Copy !req
482. When did you install
silver rope-lined seat beltsCopy !req
483. in this little shitbox?Copy !req
484. Sorry, Master.
It's for your own good.Copy !req
485. You guys, you guys.Copy !req
486. Catch your breath, boy.Copy !req
487. I think I did something
really drastic.Copy !req
488. Oh, you pierce your pee-pee?Copy !req
489. - No, but—
Tattoo your pee-pee?Copy !req
490. - You guys—
- Tell us more
about your pee-pee.Copy !req
491. You've never been
so interesting.Copy !req
492. Stop talking about
my pee-pee, okay?Copy !req
493. I didn't do anything
to my pee-pee!Copy !req
494. Okay, just trust that what I didCopy !req
495. I had to do, okay?
Do you trust me?Copy !req
496. No.
No.
No.Copy !req
497. Who the fuck is that?
Oh, my— ew!Copy !req
498. What the hell?Copy !req
499. I'd say he's been brainwashed.Copy !req
500. Right, okay,
Colin Robinson,Copy !req
501. go to the council library
and see if there'sCopy !req
502. any literature on
the art of deprogramming.Copy !req
503. - No, there's no need to
do that, Colin Robinson,Copy !req
504. because I am not brainwashed.
I am perfectly sane.Copy !req
505. I was just having fun
with my new friends.Copy !req
506. That's, uh, basically
what Patricia Krenwinkel said.Copy !req
507. Open your mouth. Good Lord,
he's pulled his fangs out.Copy !req
508. - No, no. No, no, no,
it's not what you think.Copy !req
509. - Nandor!
You stay in there,
old pal,Copy !req
510. and I'll go and find someoneCopy !req
511. to mend that fucked-up brain
of yours.Copy !req
512. No, there's no need to do that.Copy !req
513. - Laszlo? Guillermo?
Please. Come on.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
514. Guillermo! No!Copy !req
515. You said if we trusted you,
you would always protect us.Copy !req
516. You lied to us!Copy !req
517. - Calm down.Copy !req
518. - Please calm down, my children.Copy !req
519. The time has come for the final
rejection of eternal life.Copy !req
520. - It is time!Copy !req
521. For the ultimate burn!Copy !req
522. - Everyone, to the roof. Yes!Copy !req
523. We will all walk
into the sunlight.Copy !req
524. Come on, baby.Copy !req
525. Come on. That's it.Copy !req
526. - That's it. Oh...Copy !req
527. My children, my children.Copy !req
528. Don't worry, Marilyn.Copy !req
529. I'll be right out there
in a minute, girl!Copy !req
530. - I'm right behind you.Copy !req
531. Well, back to the drawing board.Copy !req
532. COLIN ROBINSON READING]Copy !req
533. Hello?Copy !req
534. Please hold for the President
of the United States.Copy !req
535. Hey.
I've been thinking about you.Copy !req
536. Hi, handsome.Copy !req
537. My name's Archer.Copy !req
538. Uh, I'm an egomaniac
who endangers every mission.Copy !req
539. Also, I'm inebriated
almost 24 hours a day.Copy !req
540. Lose the almost
and then take it againCopy !req
541. My name is B. J. Novak.
I wanna tell you
about this show I made.Copy !req
542. It's a completely different
episode every time.Copy !req
543. - Pop culture.
- Sex.Copy !req
544. Revenge.Copy !req
545. Here it is. Is that it?Copy !req
546. That's it.Copy !req
547. Nobody can know about him.Copy !req
548. People are going to
have to take sides.Copy !req