1. My name is B. J. Novak.
I wanna tell you
about this show I made.Copy !req
2. It's a completely different
episode every time.Copy !req
3. - Pop culture.
- Sex.Copy !req
4. Revenge.Copy !req
5. Here it is. Is that it?Copy !req
6. That's it.Copy !req
7. What about that one?Copy !req
8. That'll do nicely. That gaggleCopy !req
9. of human flotsam doesn't evenCopy !req
10. belong on the sea.Copy !req
11. Bat!Copy !req
12. Hello.Copy !req
13. - Get the fuck out of here!
- Just like on Gilligan.Copy !req
14. Come on!Copy !req
15. - Send us a postcard.Copy !req
16. Just the dudes!Copy !req
17. And away we go.Copy !req
18. Again, we do apologize so deeplyCopy !req
19. for taking up any of your time.Copy !req
20. I wish I could have
helped you withCopy !req
21. whatever this was supposed
to be about, but—Copy !req
22. Is that Count Bakula?Copy !req
23. Who's that?
- Hi, Count Bakula!Copy !req
24. - Big fan!
- No, shush!Copy !req
25. It turns out he's not even
actually a vampire.Copy !req
26. We got it wrong.
He's actually a Scoot?Copy !req
27. - He's a Scott... Bakula.
- Scott.Copy !req
28. Nadja, really, I-I need to go.
I got people in the pool—Copy !req
29. Yes, you must go.
Thank you so much.
But before you do,Copy !req
30. eh, Count Bakula,
could I just ask,Copy !req
31. did you ever have an ancestralCopy !req
32. home in the Transylvania area?Copy !req
33. Not that I'm aware of.Copy !req
34. Uh, we're all here
in Sherman Oaks.Copy !req
35. Oh, is that near Bucharest?Copy !req
36. No, it's between Mulholland
and, uh, and-and the Galleria.Copy !req
37. I do apologize for my associate.Copy !req
38. He is demented.Copy !req
39. Nandor and I have come
to a better agreementCopy !req
40. on how to run
the Vampiric Council together.Copy !req
41. - Which is a—
- A diplomatic solution,
whereby—Copy !req
42. Which is that we will each
be running the council...Copy !req
43. On alternating days.Copy !req
44. It's a terrible solution.Copy !req
45. Every day is spent undoing
what the other one didCopy !req
46. on the previous day.Copy !req
47. We are two,
but we work as... one.Copy !req
48. One.Copy !req
49. I said say it together.Copy !req
50. This is the most poorly runCopy !req
51. Vampiric CouncilCopy !req
52. since the rule
of Paduk the Deranged.Copy !req
53. Who also tried to share
his leadership dutiesCopy !req
54. with what he believed to be
was a talking footstool.Copy !req
55. But we even had good days
with him.Copy !req
56. There are no good days
with these two.Copy !req
57. This is ultimately
what power-sharingCopy !req
58. and coexistence is all about.Copy !req
59. A real
- Israel/
- Palestine situation.Copy !req
60. Yes, a win-win.Copy !req
61. - Nandor!
Yes?Copy !req
62. Here we go again.Copy !req
63. What?
- Nandor!Copy !req
64. Ah, there you are!Copy !req
65. - I've been looking everywhere.
- Not now, darling.Copy !req
66. - I need a moment.
- Could you possibly
pick me up and—?Copy !req
67. Busy.
- I'm going to peel
the skin off your scrotumCopy !req
68. and chew it like a gum!Copy !req
69. What is this?Copy !req
70. This is an agreement
for our Vampiric CouncilCopy !req
71. of the Tristate Area— VCOTSA!Copy !req
72. To be the proud sponsors
of the upcomingCopy !req
73. - Fun Run for MS.
Yes.Copy !req
74. - And you think this is
a good idea why?
Nadja!Copy !req
75. It is a good idea
because it is goodCopy !req
76. that humans are healthy.Copy !req
77. Healthier humans mean
healthier eating choices for us.Copy !req
78. Pick me up, please!
- Not now, darling!Copy !req
79. - Please!
Shoo, little one.Copy !req
80. And so we are going
to announce to the worldCopy !req
81. on the back of T-shirts,
"Proudly sponsoredCopy !req
82. - "by the vampires
that live amongst you..."
- Pay attention to me!Copy !req
83. - "... that you're not supposed
to know about"?
- Yoo-hoo.Copy !req
84. - Ay!
- I am undoing this.Copy !req
85. - It will be undone.
Hello?Copy !req
86. Undo nothing!Copy !req
87. I will put
a temporary stop-work orderCopy !req
88. on the proposed undoing.Copy !req
89. No one will even notice.
It's gonna be like...Copy !req
90. "Sponsored by Wells Fargo,Copy !req
91. - Jersey Mike's Sub Shop..."Copy !req
92. - "... VCOTSA."Copy !req
93. Sometimes I feel like I've
become invisible to everyone.Copy !req
94. And that hurts, you know?Copy !req
95. Wow, so...Copy !req
96. this is what we're doing now?Copy !req
97. Just gonna pair Guillermo
with the doll for interviews?Copy !req
98. That's wh—
that's where we're going?Copy !req
99. Really, just get
all the B-team interviewsCopy !req
100. done at the same time?Copy !req
101. Nice, real nice, guys.Copy !req
102. Oh, boo-fucking-hoo!Copy !req
103. My legs are
five centimeters long.Copy !req
104. Looks like you guys have
things covered here.Copy !req
105. I have chores to do.Copy !req
106. - Do you need help?
- No, I got it.Copy !req
107. - Oy.
Guillermo, come on.Copy !req
108. He's a chore, am I right?Copy !req
109. Now I'm guessing
you're wonderingCopy !req
110. why are those fellas
on this boat?Copy !req
111. We're actually on our way
to a place called Plum Island.Copy !req
112. Colin Robinson believes
that Plum IslandCopy !req
113. holds the secrets
to his energy vampireCopy !req
114. origins.Copy !req
115. It's owned by the government.Copy !req
116. It's an animal disease
research center.Copy !req
117. Off-limits to average JoesCopy !req
118. and likely highly guarded.Copy !req
119. Centuries ago...Copy !req
120. I commanded the captain's helmCopy !req
121. of many an important vessel.Copy !req
122. I began my seafaring life
as a...Copy !req
123. young sailor scrubbing
the poop decks—Copy !req
124. Poop decks.Copy !req
125. That's what it's called.Copy !req
126. - Oh.
- Yeah.Copy !req
127. And from there I was
in charge of sloops,Copy !req
128. battleships, brigantines,Copy !req
129. the Titanic for two seconds.Copy !req
130. You name it, I sailed it.Copy !req
131. What the fuck?Copy !req
132. - Just hit the—
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.Copy !req
133. Sorry.Copy !req
134. Yeah, that's loud.Copy !req
135. You know, being a ghost spiritCopy !req
136. in a doll body has been
a complicated experience.Copy !req
137. But I've made
some good memories here.Copy !req
138. Yes...Copy !req
139. Remember that chopping someone's
head off is an absolute lastCopy !req
140. - resort.
- Yeah, okay.Copy !req
141. Which, in turn, causes
an uneven wear pattern.Copy !req
142. - Mm-hmm.
- And that is why you wereCopy !req
143. walking weird last week.Copy !req
144. - You'll be walking weird
if you don't shut up.
- Absolutely.Copy !req
145. Oh, Nandor!Copy !req
146. Shit.Copy !req
147. - She's pretty good. Hey!
- I'll kill you! Aah!Copy !req
148. - Nandor, I'll fucking kill you!
- Whoa, no— hey, Nadja!Copy !req
149. But as time has passed,
I have realizedCopy !req
150. I don't fit here.Copy !req
151. Perhaps I'm that one extra piece
leftover when a puzzle isCopy !req
152. already completed and there is
no place where it fits.Copy !req
153. Which is not how a puzzle works,
of course.Copy !req
154. But who gives a shit?Copy !req
155. That is how I feel.Copy !req
156. I'm the extra puzzle piece.Copy !req
157. Okay.Copy !req
158. Let's hit the road.Copy !req
159. Honestly, Nandor, I don't wantCopy !req
160. to sample virgin dogs.
We've already tried that before.Copy !req
161. It doesn't work.Copy !req
162. It will be undone.
- "Vampire ice cream"?Copy !req
163. It's just cold blood.Copy !req
164. We can put blood in the fridge.Copy !req
165. We don't need to do
vampire ice cream.Copy !req
166. - Nadja? Hello?
- Undo it.
- It will be undone.Copy !req
167. I'm leaving now.Copy !req
168. More portraits of Nandor?Copy !req
169. Undo that. No, we've
got enough portraits...Copy !req
170. Okay, then, I guess
I'll just be moving along.Copy !req
171. Vampire carnival?Copy !req
172. I mean, we are a secret species.Copy !req
173. When I was a captain,
life was the best.Copy !req
174. I knew a thousand sea shanties,Copy !req
175. I was nut-deep in prostitutes,Copy !req
176. sword fights every other day,Copy !req
177. as much gold as you could shake
a shitty stick...Copy !req
178. What the fuck are you doing?
It's dark!Copy !req
179. I-I know, it feels good, though.Copy !req
180. - Hey, can you get my back?
- Uh...Copy !req
181. maybe I'll do that later.Copy !req
182. What is this song?Copy !req
183. It-It's haunting, yet...Copy !req
184. so familiar, I...Copy !req
185. And yet like nothing
I've heard before.Copy !req
186. Kill the engine!
Kill the engine!Copy !req
187. And the radio!Copy !req
188. I think it's coming
from over there!Copy !req
189. Coming from the starboard bow.Copy !req
190. We should investigate!Copy !req
191. Well, we got to. I don't
see what else we can do.Copy !req
192. - Okay, shall do! Okay, let's go.
- Haul ass!Copy !req
193. No, I'm... I'm starting to thinkCopy !req
194. - it could be a trap.
- I was just thinking that.Copy !req
195. It definitely seems
like some sort of trapCopy !req
196. - we probably shouldn't, uh—Copy !req
197. Ooh, ooh!Copy !req
198. No, I think we should
definitely investigate.Copy !req
199. - Haul ass, smoke
grass, let's go!
- You got it.Copy !req
200. Ha-ha!Copy !req
201. - Whoa! How about that?
- Where's my tie?
Where's my tie?Copy !req
202. Fucking hell!Copy !req
203. Oh, Nandor! Oh, Nandor, help!Copy !req
204. - What? What?
- Help me, somebody! I can't—Copy !req
205. Oh, no!Copy !req
206. - What is it? What the—?
- She's gone!Copy !req
207. - Who?
- My baby dolly!Copy !req
208. She's gone! She has left home!
I can't find her!Copy !req
209. How do you know
she has left home?Copy !req
210. - Maybe she's just
under the couch.
- No!Copy !req
211. I can feel it inside my bones.Copy !req
212. It is exactly what I would do
if I wanted to makeCopy !req
213. everyone worry about me
and cause a big drama.Copy !req
214. Just give her some space,
I'm sure she will come back.Copy !req
215. 37 wives and you stillCopy !req
216. cannot read the room when
a woman needs some attention!Copy !req
217. Come on, we have
to go and find her!Copy !req
218. - Oh, do I have to?
- Oh!Copy !req
219. I hope she is okay out thereCopy !req
220. all by her small self—
you know what?Copy !req
221. If she wants to go out there,
get kidnappedCopy !req
222. by a Turkish horde of gangsters
and sold off as mincemeat,Copy !req
223. fine by me.
Rolled up, turned into kofta,Copy !req
224. then I'm fine with that.
This is all my fault.Copy !req
225. I have been neglecting her.Copy !req
226. And when I find that little...Copy !req
227. I am going to melt her head.Copy !req
228. I'm going to make a chalice out
of her face and drink from it.Copy !req
229. I will help you find her.
Guillermo!Copy !req
230. - Guillermo!
- ... petty emotional drama...Copy !req
231. So is this you?
Just put it down.Copy !req
232. Handsome then,
handsome now, huh?Copy !req
233. Yes, you keep saying that
over and over...Copy !req
234. - Guillermo!
- Oh, look.
- We are leaving!Copy !req
235. Great, great, I'll come with you
because I'm your bodyguard.Copy !req
236. No, no, you will stay here
and you will search the atticCopy !req
237. for that sweet, little,
stupid bitch of a doll.Copy !req
238. If you find her, you will kiss
her, then hit her, come on!Copy !req
239. - But she said not to—
- Doesn't matter what she said.Copy !req
240. I'm dealing with a woman
who is having a heatedCopy !req
241. debate with an identical
version of her own mind.Copy !req
242. Come on, I do not want
to be alone with her.Copy !req
243. Mind if I stay in your bed
for a midevening slumber?Copy !req
244. No! Get out of my room!Copy !req
245. - Get out
and don't touch anything!
- Okay.Copy !req
246. I will not touch anything.Copy !req
247. Oh, oh.Copy !req
248. - It's beautiful.
- That voice.Copy !req
249. It beckons me.Copy !req
250. Really?
'Cause I-I'm getting moreCopy !req
251. of a "Colin beckoning,"
to be honestCopy !req
252. Do you have a name, my darling?Copy !req
253. Don't interrupt my song, mm.Copy !req
254. There'll be plenty of time
for applause at the end, boys.Copy !req
255. The only thing I hate more
than when someone interruptsCopy !req
256. my song is when they try
and join in.Copy !req
257. It's not right.Copy !req
258. Is it me, or is she... hideous?Copy !req
259. - Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.Copy !req
260. Nope, nothing there I want.Copy !req
261. - Let's go.
- I'm as limp as a finger.Copy !req
262. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Fantastic stuff.Copy !req
263. All the best, my darling.Copy !req
264. - Toodle...
- Oh, wait!Copy !req
265. Hang on.Copy !req
266. Shit.Copy !req
267. Shit, look.Copy !req
268. Colin Robinson,Copy !req
269. we are in the presence
of a siren.Copy !req
270. Sirens areCopy !req
271. creatures from Roman
and Greek mythology.Copy !req
272. There is a common misconception
about their appearance,Copy !req
273. but they actually take
many different forms,Copy !req
274. mainly birds that lure
unsuspecting sailors—Copy !req
275. Yeah, they know
what a fucking siren is.Copy !req
276. - We just got to get out of here.
- Well, maybe they—Copy !req
277. Wait, perhaps one of my suitorsCopy !req
278. would want to compete
for a shiny trinket?Copy !req
279. - Yummy.
- Or perhaps, fuck that.Copy !req
280. Bat!Copy !req
281. - That's the most beautiful song
I've ever heard.
- Yeah.Copy !req
282. Call Dick Clark, 'cause he's
gonna want her on Bandstand.Copy !req
283. Reckon.Copy !req
284. Where are you?Copy !req
285. - Yes, where are you?
- You silly bitch!Copy !req
286. - Where have you gone?
- How do you know
she's even here?Copy !req
287. Because this is exactly
what I would do!Copy !req
288. I would come to some toy store
and sit on a shelfCopy !req
289. and wait for a sweet little girl
to take me home insteadCopy !req
290. of living in a house with
a bunch of uncaring assholes!Copy !req
291. That is what you think of us,
a bunch of uncaring assholes?Copy !req
292. All the time? No.Copy !req
293. Sometimes? Yes!Copy !req
294. Lately? A lot!Copy !req
295. - Guillermo? Focus now.
- Sorry.Copy !req
296. You know, maybe she just
needs some love and caringCopy !req
297. and respect,
you know, the things thatCopy !req
298. - are completely missing
from our house!
- Hello?Copy !req
299. - Dolly, baby! Hey, Dolly.
- Here, Dolly, Dolly, hello?Copy !req
300. - It's okay, come out.
- Where are you, my love?Copy !req
301. - Here, Dolly, Dolly...
- Nandor!Copy !req
302. - I'll kill you!Copy !req
303. You're stupid, Nandor!Copy !req
304. Aah, my fucking...Copy !req
305. - Nandor...Copy !req
306. What have you done?Copy !req
307. My sweet baby!Copy !req
308. She is so limp and lifeless.Copy !req
309. Sorry, I thought it was
a giant bug or something.Copy !req
310. Hey, guys, look!
Leave me alone.Copy !req
311. I don't want to talk to you.Copy !req
312. Her spirit has jumped
from one body to another!Copy !req
313. [speaks foreign
language] Come home!
- Come on.Copy !req
314. Stop being so dramatic,
you stupid bitch!Copy !req
315. I love you so much!Copy !req
316. - What are you doing?
Leave me alone!Copy !req
317. That's not nice.
Goodness' sake!Copy !req
318. Oh, shit, uh...Copy !req
319. Forget about me!
- Just kick them out...Copy !req
320. - Are you okay?
- Yes!Copy !req
321. You silly cow!Copy !req
322. Guillermo,
tidy the balls, please.Copy !req
323. I love you so much!Copy !req
324. If you scoot a little
to your left,Copy !req
325. I think I can get my mouth down
to gnaw through this rope.Copy !req
326. - We're not even tied up.
- Oh.Copy !req
327. If she found out,
she'd have me for dinnerCopy !req
328. and you for dessert.Copy !req
329. Well, why-why would
she eat me second?Copy !req
330. Well, you don't go to
the hog roast for the coleslaw.Copy !req
331. Oh, God, listen,
it's useless for me.Copy !req
332. Why don't you save yourself?
You can fly.Copy !req
333. I'm not gonna leave you,
Colin Robinson.Copy !req
334. What a heavenly voice
and a beautiful personality.Copy !req
335. Absolutely.Copy !req
336. Sit tight, boys. I'll be thereCopy !req
337. in just a sexy, tiny,
little second for you!Copy !req
338. Not again!Copy !req
339. Just a little second, actually.Copy !req
340. Bloody hell.
We're being enchanted.Copy !req
341. It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
342. It reminds me of the first time
that I met my love Nadja.Copy !req
343. That's how I know
that this is true love.Copy !req
344. Yeah, I'd give a year's salaryCopy !req
345. to watch her lay a couple eggs.Copy !req
346. Yoo-hoo, boys!
Who's up for a little fun?Copy !req
347. Shit.Copy !req
348. One word springs to mind.Copy !req
349. - What's that?
- Bat!Copy !req
350. Alone at last.Copy !req
351. - Nadja!
- What?Copy !req
352. No, I'm calling out
for the doll.Copy !req
353. - Well, that's not her name.
- What is her name?Copy !req
354. I... I didn't give her one,
okay?Copy !req
355. Wow.Copy !req
356. - Real nice.
- Doll?Copy !req
357. - My love.
- Dolly.Copy !req
358. - Where the hell are you?
- Hey.Copy !req
359. Oh, shit.Copy !req
360. Please stop this...Copy !req
361. - And come home!
- You don't love me anymore.Copy !req
362. None of you do! Just let me go.Copy !req
363. Of course we love you,
you stupid bitch!Copy !req
364. Too little too late.Copy !req
365. Ah.
- Where did she go?Copy !req
366. Okay, enough!
You can forget it!Copy !req
367. I am not indulging
in this anymore!Copy !req
368. Go and live your stupid life,Copy !req
369. and good luck trying
to make it on your own!Copy !req
370. Fine! I will!
I'm going to have a lot of funCopy !req
371. - as this big rat!Copy !req
372. Well... your ass looks huge!Copy !req
373. Ha! Not as big
as yours, darling.Copy !req
374. - Shots fired.Copy !req
375. Taking it up a notch.Copy !req
376. You better not have said
what I think you just said!Copy !req
377. She did.Copy !req
378. Enjoy the view, baby!Copy !req
379. - Oh.Copy !req
380. Oh, Laszlo, thank goodness!
You can help me with my—Copy !req
381. Not now, my darling!Copy !req
382. - Come on.
- Now I need youCopy !req
383. to come up
with a device that'll make meCopy !req
384. impervious to all external sounds.Copy !req
385. Yeah, we, we can go
somewhere for that.Copy !req
386. You're protesting.Copy !req
387. By that, I mean
making me temporarily deaf.Copy !req
388. Yes, I-I know
exactly where to go.Copy !req
389. What is all this stuff?Copy !req
390. Is this stuff any good
or is it just shit?Copy !req
391. - Okay, just find it and let's—
- Hi.Copy !req
392. Can I help you guys
find anything?Copy !req
393. No, we're just looking for some
noise-canceling headphones,Copy !req
394. but we have it under control.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
395. Now hang on,
what is the purpose of thisCopy !req
396. propelled plastic spider?Copy !req
397. Oh, this is
our Magic Mini tri-copterCopy !req
398. - with the special-edition
chrome propellers.
- Oh, wow.Copy !req
399. Gizmo, I think we need
one of these.Copy !req
400. No, we don't.
We should get going, Laszlo.Copy !req
401. Judi?Copy !req
402. Between you and I,Copy !req
403. could I really notice
a differenceCopy !req
404. between 5.1 and 7.1 surround?Copy !req
405. Look, 5.1 is absolutely fine
for most standard home use.Copy !req
406. Right, but it's not 7.1.Copy !req
407. That's what you're
really saying.Copy !req
408. Well, me,
I'm a bit of an audiophile.Copy !req
409. And I have a sneaking suspicionCopy !req
410. that you might be, too,
Mr. Cravensworth.Copy !req
411. Guilty as charged.Copy !req
412. Hey, did you find everything
you were looking for today?Copy !req
413. - Yes, I did, Kevin.
- Great.Copy !req
414. Now, will this be, uh,
cash or card?Copy !req
415. I will not be paying
for anything today.Copy !req
416. Got it. No charge.Copy !req
417. Now, will you be wantingCopy !req
418. the extended warranty coverage?Copy !req
419. I won't be talked
into any extended warranty.Copy !req
420. Got it. Now if you just
punch in your email—Copy !req
421. Nor will I punching in
my email address.Copy !req
422. I won't be talked into any kind
of Best Buy membership cardCopy !req
423. or charge card.Copy !req
424. Right, but we really do needCopy !req
425. your email to keep you
up to date about...Copy !req
426. - promotional... Geek Squad.
- Oh, for the Geek Squad?Copy !req
427. - Not a problem at all.
- Okay.Copy !req
428. Lcravensworth...Copy !req
429. @nyconnex.com.Copy !req
430. I have no idea what my home
phone number is— what is it?Copy !req
431. - 718...
- Okay, yeah.Copy !req
432. Quadrophonic sound was
a great gimmick.Copy !req
433. But I don't think
the wider public gave a shitCopy !req
434. about that kind of detail.Copy !req
435. What exactly does
all these electronicsCopy !req
436. have to do with Colin Robinson?Copy !req
437. Oh, shit.Copy !req
438. Enchanted twice in one evening.Copy !req
439. Once with Sheila.Copy !req
440. And then Judi from Best Buys.Copy !req
441. I-I don't know
who Sheila is, so...Copy !req
442. - No, don't...
- Bat!Copy !req
443. You know, um, Rascal Flatts,Copy !req
444. they have a song
called "Life Is a Highway."Copy !req
445. - I don't know that song.
- And, uh,Copy !req
446. this detour tonight has
kind of changed my mind.Copy !req
447. Maybe life isn't a highway.Copy !req
448. You know,
maybe life is an ocean.Copy !req
449. - Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
450. Yes.Copy !req
451. You're an odd one,
Colin Robinson.Copy !req
452. Listen to me babbling on.Copy !req
453. - Um, Sheila...Copy !req
454. I-I think that you're somethingCopy !req
455. really special.Copy !req
456. Really?Copy !req
457. Most people don't like me
when I'm not singing.Copy !req
458. Most people don't like me
when I'm talking either.Copy !req
459. - Oh.Copy !req
460. I'm sorry, I got nervous.Copy !req
461. I did a little poopy on you.Copy !req
462. Nothing to be nervous about.Copy !req
463. It's not the first timeCopy !req
464. a beautiful woman has
shit on my shoes.Copy !req
465. Thanks.Copy !req
466. - Probably...
- Human form!Copy !req
467. Fear not, Colin Robinson!Copy !req
468. - Oh, shit.
- A captain never abandonsCopy !req
469. his crew,
so, siren, release him.Copy !req
470. - Can you give me justCopy !req
471. - one second, sweetie?
- Yeah.Copy !req
472. - Leave him alone and come on.
- Laszlo, no.Copy !req
473. - What?
- I'm in love.Copy !req
474. - I mean, she's the one.Copy !req
475. It might be
a little unconventional,Copy !req
476. but... love can't
always be explained.Copy !req
477. What, even
when she's not singing?Copy !req
478. Well, when she's singing,
I-I can't resist her, but...Copy !req
479. when she's not singing,
I don't...Copy !req
480. want to, want to resist her.Copy !req
481. Look at what she's doing.
- Yeah.Copy !req
482. He's mad.Copy !req
483. - My lovely bitch, we've got you!
- Leave me alone!Copy !req
484. There's nowhere left to run—
just give it up!Copy !req
485. Stop chasing me! Let me be free!Copy !req
486. You don't even want me!Copy !req
487. - Hey!
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
488. - Of course we want you!
- Ooh!Copy !req
489. You're the one who ran away!Copy !req
490. - Are you fucking kidding me
with this?
- Ouch!Copy !req
491. Oopsies.Copy !req
492. What have you done?
Oh, my love!Copy !req
493. She was only gonna jump
into another vessel anyway.Copy !req
494. I am very tired.Copy !req
495. Just let me go.Copy !req
496. It would be easier for you.Copy !req
497. You have so much to do already,
without having to worryCopy !req
498. about me and my silly emotions.Copy !req
499. Yes, I have been
very busy recently.Copy !req
500. But you have to understand.Copy !req
501. I have been working
so fucking hardCopy !req
502. in that house
to be taken seriously.Copy !req
503. To get anyone
to give me any respect.Copy !req
504. I've been trying to be
professional, but I've beenCopy !req
505. squishing down
and mincing up my own...Copy !req
506. silly emotions.Copy !req
507. Oh...Copy !req
508. Oh.Copy !req
509. Wow.Copy !req
510. I am so sorry.Copy !req
511. It is not okay.Copy !req
512. And I am going
to do better for you.Copy !req
513. And for myself.Copy !req
514. I am too tired. Switching hostsCopy !req
515. is extremely draining.Copy !req
516. I don't think
I can do it anymore.Copy !req
517. How about one last home?Copy !req
518. Do you feel like coming back
and living with a bunchCopy !req
519. of uncaring assholes?Copy !req
520. Okay, why not?Copy !req
521. For what it's worth,
I also think you're doingCopy !req
522. - a great job as coleader—
Shut up.Copy !req
523. - This isn't about you.
Not even a little bit.Copy !req
524. And I'm taking the day off
tomorrow!Copy !req
525. Oh, yes, a day out!Copy !req
526. We can crush grapes and spit
all the pits at the pigeonsCopy !req
527. and torture mortals...Copy !req
528. - Right.Copy !req
529. Listen to me, Colin Robinson,
she is a siren.Copy !req
530. It's her job to enchant you.Copy !req
531. You're not in love.
You may think you are,Copy !req
532. you dumb fuck, but you're not.Copy !req
533. Yeah, well, how do you know
the difference?Copy !req
534. She's half-chicken.Copy !req
535. Yeah, nobody's perfect.Copy !req
536. You go away, my friend.Copy !req
537. I'm in love.Copy !req
538. - Did you eat your dinner?
- Yeah.Copy !req
539. All right, this is going to end
badly, so what you need to doCopy !req
540. is cut the mics, turn
all the sound equipment off,Copy !req
541. and put your fingers
in your ears, and do it now.Copy !req
542. Okay. Do it.
- Now!Copy !req
543. Oh, shit.Copy !req
544. How do I look?
Do I look all right?Copy !req
545. - Yes, you look great.
You always look great.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
546. This has all made me realize
that in my efforts to be takenCopy !req
547. more seriously as a leader
of the Vampiric Council,Copy !req
548. I have been neglecting
my gorgeous, sweet,Copy !req
549. cutie, silly, little,
dolly mama-moo.Copy !req
550. Yes, exactly.Copy !req
551. And because, uh,
she is me, the same,Copy !req
552. it means I have been neglecting
the gorgeous, sweet, juicy,Copy !req
553. lovely, silly part
of my own excellent personality.Copy !req
554. And what I've realized,
since I am her,Copy !req
555. I've got to communicate
my emotional needsCopy !req
556. to everyone... and to myself.Copy !req
557. I love this little slut.Copy !req
558. And I love you, my little whore.Copy !req
559. Potty mouth, the same.Copy !req
560. Oh, hello.Copy !req
561. I say, um, apologiesCopy !req
562. for not making it to Plum IslandCopy !req
563. to find out more about
your energy vampire origins.Copy !req
564. Yeah, well, I-I guessCopy !req
565. I remain an enigma.Copy !req
566. Which is pretty cool.Copy !req
567. Right, has that chicken's
spell worn off?Copy !req
568. I guess.Copy !req
569. I mean, maybe I didn't
experienceCopy !req
570. true love today,
but it-it-it sure felt like it.Copy !req
571. I'd say
that you didn't experienceCopy !req
572. true love today.Copy !req
573. I didn't, no.Copy !req
574. All right, well, I'll leave youCopy !req
575. to whatever
the hell you were doing.Copy !req
576. Okay, then.Copy !req
577. If-if you guys could...Copy !req
578. maybe give me a-a minute?Copy !req
579. Um, I'm gonna beat off now.Copy !req
580. I have
a huge crush on you.Copy !req
581. Well,
that's really flattering...Copy !req
582. because you're beautiful.Copy !req
583. You're probably
wondering what we're doing.Copy !req
584. Short answer,
saving the earth.Copy !req
585. Again.Copy !req
586. I'm not leaving without you.Copy !req
587. I need something soft
to land on.Copy !req
588. It happened
pretty fast.Copy !req
589. The world
has changed.Copy !req
590. His survivor's classified.Copy !req
591. Nobody can know
about him.Copy !req
592. People are going
to have to pick sides.Copy !req
593. I think it's going
to get worseCopy !req
594. before it gets better.Copy !req
595. Run!Copy !req
596. I imagine
that you attractCopy !req
597. quite a bit
of attention.Copy !req
598. You know, more than before.
That's for sure.Copy !req