Wednesday 2x5

1. "Double, double, toil and trouble."

2. "Fire burn, and cauldron bubble."

3. "Cool it with a baboon's blood."

4. "By the pricking of my thumbs,

5. something wicked this way comes."

6. How's our little cadaver?

7. The doctor suggested I read to her.

8. I chose Macbeth.

9. Nothing like death, despair, and dismemberment

10. to try and snap her out of her coma.

11. Tish, come on.

12. Denmark will still be rotten tomorrow.

13. Wrong tragedy, mon chéri.

14. Come on.

15. Rise and shine, sleepy head.

16. Principal Weems?

17. Ready for your sponge bath?

18. What ring of Hell is this?

19. Miss Addams...

20. This isn't Hell.

21. But I understand the confusion.

22. If I'm not dead, then why are you here?

23. Because I am your new spirit guide.

24. Surprise!

25. That's impossible. A spirit guide must be a relative.

26. Turns out we're 13th cousins.

27. Twice removed.

28. There has to be another option.

29. Your last spirit guide literally gave up her ghost to save you.

30. Believe me, nobody was putting up their hand for this assignment.

31. Yet here you are.

32. The tantalizing prospect of tormenting you from beyond the grave

33. was just too delicious to pass up.

34. Now, you've certainly been a busy bee.

35. Just a recap...

36. You lost your psychic ability.

37. Only after I mastered it.

38. You lied to your one and only friend, Enid Sinclair, about her impending doom.

39. I was protecting her.

40. And the coup de grâce,

41. freeing Tyler Galpin, a homicidal Hyde,

42. from a high-security psychiatric institution.

43. Congratulations, Miss Addams.

44. Your hubris has yet again made you the architect of your own demise.

45. I didn't think death could make you any more condescending.

46. And your arrogance has only made you more insufferable.

47. Why don't you restore my ability, so we can go our separate ways?

48. Your ability

49. is inextricably tied to who you are.

50. You abused it.

51. You sound like my mother.

52. Sticks and stones.

53. Except,

54. I have no bones.

55. I'm done being lectured.

56. Then wake up!

57. Good afternoon. I'm Judi Stonehurst, interim director of Willow Hill.

58. Two weeks ago, our facility suffered a catastrophic power failure.

59. As a result, 46 of our residents escaped.

60. Sadly, there were several deaths,

61. including our beloved director, Dr. Rachael Fairburn.

62. But, with the heroic help of the sheriff's department,

63. we have apprehended 43 of those fugitives.

64. They'll be reassigned to other facilities,

65. since Willow Hill is

66. closed for the foreseeable future.

67. Thank you.

68. Sheriff Santiago!

69. The three fugitives still at large

70. are Fester Addams,

71. a patient known as "John Doe,"

72. and Tyler Galpin.

73. I need to reiterate that they are considered extremely dangerous.

74. If you see any of them,

75. contact the sheriff's department immediately.

76. Yes.

77. Do you think they're still in the area?

78. We believe Fester Addams is long gone.

79. It's hard to say with John Doe.

80. We do know that Tyler suffered multiple gunshot wounds.

81. No more questions at this time.

82. Ms. Stonehurst, Wednesday Addams just woke up.

83. I'm curious to hear about her part in all of this.

84. As I told you, Sheriff, it was a simple case of wrong place, wrong time.

85. She snuck in to pay her uncle an unauthorized visit.

86. Sure she wasn't trying to free him?

87. It's hardly credible that an ordinary teenage girl

88. could be capable of circumventing Willow Hill security.

89. "Ordinary" is the last word I'd use to describe Wednesday Addams.

90. Hmm.

91. Well, if you'll excuse me, an interim director's work is never done.

92. I've eliminated all the escapees from the LOIS lab, except one.

93. Patient 1938.

94. By the looks of her, this one ain't gonna put up a fight.

95. The sheriff's still blind about LOIS and I want to keep it that way.

96. Now, I emptied out my rainy day fund hiring you,

97. so do your job and find her.

98. Leaving so soon?

99. I brought you some lilies.

100. Mmm.

101. It's a sign of renewal and fresh starts.

102. The sheriff will be getting an anonymous tip to check out your secret lab.

103. I'm afraid all she'll find are boxes of dusty files.

104. My secrets are dead and buried in places no one will ever find them.

105. - If you've come to gloat— - Who's gloating?

106. You destroyed my father's life's work.

107. I'm here to make sure that you don't scorch the earth any further.

108. Scorched earth is just a warm-up.

109. I aim for total incineration.

110. I would keep that trigger finger off your flamethrower, missy.

111. Unless you'd like me to tell Sheriff Santiago

112. how you illegally broke into Willow Hill.

113. Who's patient 1938?

114. Why didn't she get a fake obituary?

115. What makes her so special?

116. I don't know who you're talking about.

117. Seems like all your secrets aren't dead and buried.

118. Wednesday Addams?

119. Never delivered dead flowers before.

120. Who gave you this?

121. Buenos días, sickly children.

122. We are here spreading Day of the Dead joy.

123. It's you! I recognize that fudge-curdling glare.

124. A pox on thee!

125. Direct from Pilgrim World, meet our Mayflower Mariachis.

126. Don't worry, Mom. Nobody's going to find you here.

127. After the fire last semester, this part of the school is off-limits.

128. As long as you're here, you'll be safe from Gideon and Morning Song.

129. So I Googled this Gideon guy.

130. Someone reported seeing him at a motel in Boston last week.

131. - He's getting closer. - Please don't tell my mom.

132. It'll freak her out even more.

133. Oh, man. I still can't believe you guys are involved

134. in this whole Morning Song scandal.

135. My mother was one of its first members.

136. Gideon used her siren song to recruit people.

137. She told me that when it started,

138. they were actually trying to help Outcasts.

139. It was a real community.

140. So what changed?

141. Cults often set out with good intentions.

142. Growing up, Gideon was my hero.

143. Of all the kids, I was his favorite.

144. But then his mask slipped,

145. and I realized he was grooming me to take over for my mom.

146. Everything spiraled so quickly.

147. Look, as long as no one knows your mom's at Nevermore,

148. Gideon can't touch her or you.

149. Wednesday! I didn't think you were gonna be back for days.

150. What are you doing here?

151. I've come to observe you in your natural habitat.

152. Uh...

153. I live here, remember?

154. You're probably still sore from your injuries.

155. Pain reminds me that I'm still alive.

156. Your mom said you were staying at the cottage to recuperate.

157. There's no time for that. Tyler's still out there.

158. Sheriff Santiago said he's either dead from the gunshot wounds or long gone.

159. He's alive.

160. He's in Jericho.

161. You saw him?

162. I need you to pack up and go home.

163. Leave? Why?

164. He has plans to kill both of us. I'm going to fix it.

165. Fix it? You're the reason he escaped.

166. She's got a point.

167. I'm not scared of Tyler. I already took him down once.

168. There's not a full moon for another week. You got lucky last time.

169. What do you mean lucky? I still have the scars from that fight.

170. Tyler had you pinned against a tree

171. and was going to rip your throat out until Galpin shot him.

172. I read the police statement.

173. Then I guess it was lucky I showed up and saved your life.

174. Tyler was going to gut you as well.

175. She's got you there too.

176. - Tell her the truth about the premonition. - Stay out of this.

177. Who are you talking to?

178. No one.

179. Okay, I'm going to blame this conversation on your head trauma.

180. Enid, I'm trying to save you.

181. I don't need you to save me.

182. Is that why you stuck me on lookout duty at Willow Hill?

183. Do you think I'm that helpless?

184. Your silence is deafening.

185. - Where are you going? - To be with my pack.

186. You might think you're the only capable one here,

187. but you can't do everything on your own.

188. That's not how the world works, even for Wednesday Addams.

189. Miss Sinclair for the win.

190. Stay out of my room and my head.

191. Tyler declared that Enid and I will die today.

192. He may be a deranged psychopath, but his timing is poetic.

193. If I could choose my last day,

194. El Día de los Muertos would top my wish list.

195. The Day of the Dead has always been my favorite holiday.

196. Macabre decor, graveyard gatherings,

197. and the chance to commune with dead relatives.

198. What's not to like?

199. Unfortunately, this year

200. an unwelcome ghost from my past has turned up uninvited.

201. I was curious to see where the Weems memorial was placed.

202. I did sacrifice my life for the school, after all.

203. I preferred Goody's cryptic pronouncements to your spectral stalking.

204. I wasn't expecting anything ostentatious.

205. My portrait joining those on the wall of illustrious past principals.

206. Perhaps a bronze bust,

207. maybe even a small memorial shrine with candles.

208. Even a cuddly toy or two.

209. If you're not gonna give me my psychic ability back, you're dismissed.

210. I'm not a genie.

211. I don't grant wishes.

212. If you want your ability back, that starts with an honest self-assessment.

213. Nice catch, Mr. Ottinger!

214. Who's next?

215. - Who on Earth is that? - Principal Dort.

216. Dort? Never heard of him.

217. And he certainly wasn't on my list of pre-approved successors.

218. Happy Día de los Muertos!

219. Anything for a t-shirt, am I right?

220. All right.

221. This is also our Outcast Day of Remembrance.

222. Following annual tradition,

223. at midnight the remembrance procession will head to the Nevermore cemetery,

224. and pay our respects to all those who have gone before us.

225. Don't worry,

226. it won't be a complete downer because there will also be food trucks!

227. Food trucks!

228. Yeah!

229. He's a carnival barker masquerading as an educator.

230. Principal Dort.

231. Wednesday. It is good to see you back among the living on this Day of the Dead.

232. The day is young.

233. If there's anything I can do to help your recovery...

234. Cancel tonight's festivities.

235. Tyler's still out there.

236. According to Sheriff Santiago, he fled town.

237. He hasn't. His threat is real.

238. I appreciate your concern, and your trauma,

239. but we aren't canceling tonight.

240. I've invited several prominent donors,

241. and they will be here to see our community in action.

242. The only thing they'll see is a Hyde ripping them limb from limb.

243. In the remote off-chance Tyler Galpin breaches our wall,

244. we have a school full of Outcasts ready to take him on.

245. Especially Professor Capri.

246. What does she know about taking on a Hyde?

247. She has a history with them.

248. You aren't alone in this anymore, Wednesday.

249. One more question.

250. How do you plan on honoring the late Principal Weems tonight?

251. Honor?

252. I've spent months trying to expunge that woman's memory

253. from every student and every donor's mind.

254. She lingers like the smell of rancid Brie.

255. Blech.

256. After everything I've done to burnish this school's reputation...

257. There's your honest assessment.

258. There you are, mijo.

259. I realize your mother and I have been so focused on your sister,

260. we haven't been around for you.

261. It's not just that.

262. I'm worried about Slurp.

263. I know he's done some bad things, but it's not his fault he's hungry.

264. Losing your first pet can be hard.

265. Your Uncle Fester had a chupacabra when he was about your age.

266. No matter how much of his blood he gave it to drink,

267. it wasn't meant to be a pet.

268. I raised Slurp from the dead.

269. He's my responsibility.

270. And...

271. I know if they find him, they'll put him down for good.

272. What about this? What about if I help you track your zombie?

273. We'll make it a father-son adventure.

274. - Hmm? - Yeah.

275. Yeah.

276. This is what your life has come to?

277. Cowering in a sewer, all alone.

278. You're not real.

279. Thank God your mother can't see you right now.

280. Think of all the hopes and dreams she had for you.

281. Her only child.

282. Her beloved son.

283. She'd be so disappointed.

284. You don't get to talk about her!

285. She deserved better than you.

286. Yeah, on that we are in agreement.

287. You always looked at me with fear.

288. You knew this would happen.

289. I tried to protect you.

290. By crawling into a bottle and ignoring me?

291. You're in a real jam.

292. You killed your master.

293. That's a bold move, son.

294. I didn't need her.

295. I don't need anyone.

296. Turn yourself in.

297. Leave me alone!

298. That's the only way out alive.

299. Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!

300. Wednesday.

301. Good to see you on your feet.

302. Not many people can say they survived a Hyde attack.

303. Well, you're one of them. Principal Dort told me.

304. Alfie Penn. Name ring a bell?

305. Seems your ex-boyfriend was shot dead after attacking you.

306. How dare you snoop in my desk?

307. You met Alfie at an artist colony in Woodstock.

308. He was at the forefront of something titled "violent expressionism,"

309. otherwise known as "splatter art."

310. Until his life began to imitate his work.

311. What drove him to try and kill you?

312. Tyler Galpin is coming.

313. I need to learn everything I can about Hydes.

314. I never knew Alfie's true nature.

315. Only that we were happy together.

316. You fell in love with a monster.

317. His master was in love with him too.

318. She ordered him to kill me.

319. Luckily it was a full moon so I was able to fight him off.

320. But Alfie accidentally killed her in the process.

321. It was horrible.

322. I heard a Hyde can't survive without a master.

323. Males can't. They go crazy without one.

324. Psychosis, paranoia, rapid physical decline,

325. ultimately premature death.

326. But the females are stronger than the males.

327. More dominant.

328. Has a Hyde ever taken on a new master?

329. I mean, not that I know of.

330. Who would be reckless enough to try?

331. I... I strongly recommend that you don't entertain the idea.

332. Of course not.

333. That would be insane.

334. Wednesday?

335. Wednesday!

336. I gave my life to save that school.

337. And now my entire legacy is being denigrated

338. because I made one bad normie hire.

339. Marilyn Thornhill.

340. I don't do whining, especially from dead people.

341. And it was a monumentally bad hire.

342. She murdered you, remember?

343. Speaking of Thornhill, what are you up to?

344. None of your business.

345. Who are you talking to, sweetheart?

346. No one, Mother.

347. What are you doing with these boxes from the garage?

348. I was going to have Lurch burn all of Thornhill's things.

349. Your preferred method of destroying vital information that I need?

350. We never really got a chance to talk since you woke up.

351. I'm most comfortable with uncomfortable silence.

352. On the Day of the Dead, we focus so much on those we lost.

353. I just want to make sure that those who are still here

354. know how much they mean to me.

355. Your mother is still as hideously sentimental as she was at 16.

356. Hmm.

357. What is it, Mother?

358. I sense another presence here.

359. Strange.

360. It's the same feeling I used to have when...

361. Larissa Weems walked into the room.

362. Is it the cloying need to be liked, with the sickly scent of superiority?

363. Yes. She was lonely, Wednesday.

364. I was not lonely.

365. I had a very robust social life.

366. It died years before you did.

367. Hmm.

368. This is an organic chemistry formula.

369. And if it's in Thornhill's notes,

370. I presume this is about Tyler Galpin.

371. I need to be prepared in case he comes back.

372. She doesn't believe you, and neither do I.

373. Wednesday, I know your thirst for revenge is unquenchable,

374. but please don't court this monster.

375. You need to stay out of this.

376. You're right. Wednesday can't take down a Hyde alone.

377. And Wednesday's right too.

378. You did get lucky.

379. Okay, not exactly the kind of support I was looking for.

380. You're being hunted by an apex predator outside of our lunar cycle.

381. Perhaps going home for a few weeks isn't a bad idea.

382. You can't take on Tyler alone.

383. Enid!

384. Thing! Oh, thank God.

385. Wednesday and I cannot take on Tyler by ourselves.

386. I need your help to reactivate the Nightshades.

387. Slurp!

388. Slurp!

389. Slurp!

390. Come out, boy.

391. It's me.

392. No one's gonna hurt you.

393. Please.

394. Pugsley.

395. We've been at this for hours.

396. I'm not one to admit defeat,

397. but Slurp found better pastures to roam in.

398. Let's go. Let's go.

399. Let's go home.

400. Okay.

401. Over here!

402. What a motley skeleton crew.

403. - Where are you all headed? - Pilgrim World.

404. "Los Spooky Noches."

405. Can we go, Dad? Please?

406. - Don't tell your mother. - Yes!

407. The victim's brain was sucked right out of his skull.

408. Like that driving instructor found dead on route 8 last month.

409. Not to mention Dr. Fairburn and the others at Willow Hill.

410. Look at these lacerations.

411. Remind you of anything?

412. Do you think Tyler Galpin's working with the zombie?

413. The fact that you and I are having a serious conversation about this

414. tells you everything you need to know about Jericho.

415. We're only a few miles from Nevermore.

416. I want squad cars sitting on those gates around the clock.

417. My bet,

418. that's where Tyler's going.

419. All available units proceed to Nevermore Academy.

420. Sheriff believes Tyler Galpin may be en route.

421. Use extreme caution.

422. Suspect is highly dangerous.

423. In the afterlife You could be headed for serious strife

424. Now you make the scene all day

425. But tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay

426. Señores? Hola and welcome.

427. I am Señorita Arlene.

428. Tonight you're not visiting Pilgrim World.

429. We are transporting you back to ye olde Mexico.

430. I commend you on your ability to appropriate with such panache.

431. Pilgrim World is all about authenticity.

432. Oh, and don't forget to visit our Haunted Hacienda.

433. A question, miss. Can you please tell me where I can find the churros?

434. Ah.

435. Mm-hmm.

436. Adios.

437. Vamos.

438. Killer makeup, dude!

439. Thornhill was psychotic.

440. But genius and madness are strange bedfellows.

441. She unlocked Tyler.

442. The question is, can I, before he makes good on his threat to kill Enid tonight?

443. Principal Weems, I need a respite from your incessant interruptions.

444. Are you feeling okay?

445. I read that comas can have long-lasting effects on brain function.

446. What are you doing here, Agnes?

447. I snuck into the hospital every day.

448. I got your hourly get well cards.

449. I wanted to make sure you knew how worried I was about you.

450. I also may have re-braided your hair

451. and tried on your clothes when the nurses weren't looking.

452. One more thing.

453. Do you know what the Nightshades are up to?

454. Who called this meeting?

455. I did.

456. Low turnout.

457. Enid, you were never officially inducted into the Nightshades.

458. Only because Dort dissolved the society before I could join.

459. You're the one who nominated me, remember?

460. It doesn't give you the authority to call a meeting—

461. Ajax. Easy.

462. Tyler Galpin wants to kill me. Isn't that reason enough?

463. - How do you know? - Because he told me.

464. I'm guessing your little see-through suck-up told you about this rendezvous.

465. I'm not backing down, Wednesday.

466. Fine.

467. I think Tyler's making his move tonight at the remembrance procession.

468. - But I have a plan. - To kill him?

469. To control him.

470. I need an essence of nightshade.

471. Orloff keeps it in the apothecary cabinet.

472. Go pick the lock.

473. I'm going to sort out these non-lethal components.

474. Instead of leaving with Enid and going into hiding,

475. you are now using her as bait to lure a Hyde.

476. This will work.

477. Only if you get close enough to jab Tyler with a needle.

478. And that assumes the recipe for Thornhill's brew is correct.

479. You can't even master your own ability.

480. And now you want to master a Hyde?

481. It's the only way to get Tyler back into his cage.

482. Please. We both know there isn't an altruistic bone in your body.

483. This is about your pathological need to control everything.

484. Go find some other distant relative to stalk.

485. Thornhill unlocked and controlled Tyler

486. because she was methodical and detached.

487. You have feelings for him.

488. I hate Tyler. End of story.

489. Hate is a feeling, Miss Addams.

490. Along with fear, contempt, concern, and love.

491. All emotions you think can be boxed up and stored in your subconscious.

492. But that box is a ticking time bomb.

493. If you don't find a way to defuse it,

494. it could explode at the most calamitous moment.

495. Even if you do succeed, he turned on Thornhill.

496. He will turn on you too.

497. Don't do this.

498. Who was that?

499. Watch it.

500. What's the matter with you? Freak.

501. I told the team to really amp up the scares this year.

502. What in the johnnycakes is going on?

503. Your job is to spook people,

504. not to make them poop their pants.

505. Sheriff, we've got multiple incoming 911 calls from Pilgrim World.

506. Zombie's on a killing spree.

507. Send every car we've got. Everybody, clear out!

508. 10-64 to Pilgrim World.

509. There's a killer zombie in the Haunted Hacienda!

510. - Slurp? - Pugsley!

511. - This is dangerous. - Stay here. I don't want you to get hurt.

512. Slurp's my friend. He'll listen to me.

513. Wait out here, please!

514. I can handle myself.

515. Pugsley.

516. Stop.

517. You can talk.

518. And you look human.

519. Well, almost.

520. The brains.

521. They brought me back.

522. Go, go, go, go.

523. This is the sheriff's department!

524. Whoever's in there, come out with your hands over your head!

525. You've given me a second chance at life. I don't want to waste it.

526. You're my only friend, Pugsley.

527. Let me go.

528. Please.

529. This is your final warning!

530. Just me.

531. No one else is in there.

532. Get the boy and his father out of here! Move out.

533. Sweep inside and establish a perimeter!

534. Couldn't find him, Dad.

535. Maybe it's for the best.

536. Oh, Lurch, be a dear and bring the car around front.

537. I don't want to be late for the remembrance procession.

538. Morticia.

539. Is it really you?

540. Francoise.

541. I was on my way to Nevermore when I saw you in the garden,

542. cutting roses in the moonlight.

543. I couldn't believe it.

544. After all these years.

545. Gomez and I sent flowers to your funeral.

546. I was locked away.

547. In Willow Hill.

548. Oh.

549. This girl.

550. She's your daughter?

551. Yes.

552. She's an angel.

553. I'd given up hope, and she...

554. she saved me.

555. Um, let me call the sheriff and get you some help.

556. No, don't, don't. Please.

557. I'm being hunted.

558. You were always so kind to me in school.

559. I could really use your help finding my son.

560. You mean Tyler.

561. He escaped from Willow Hill too.

562. I know he's heading for Nevermore.

563. In that case, I know who he's after.

564. Tonight, we remember those Outcasts who have gone before us.

565. What if Tyler's a no-show?

566. The famous, the infamous,

567. and those whose shadow only loomed large in the hearts of their loved ones.

568. We honor the Cyclops, the Yeti, and the Minotaur,

569. and all the Outcast tribes that no longer walk the earth.

570. May their memory be a blessing.

571. And may their absence be the bitter taste that reminds us to always stay vigilant.

572. He's here. Stick to the plan.

573. I need Tyler to transform.

574. No improvising.

575. History teaches us that our greatest enemy is...

576. As Outcasts, unity is our strength.

577. Where's Wednesday?

578. I know you're not alone.

579. You're right. She isn't.

580. Mmm. Swords are cute.

581. They're no match for a Hyde.

582. Too bad the moon isn't full tonight.

583. What's wrong, Tyler?

584. You're looking a little rough.

585. Is it because you killed your master?

586. - Shut up. - You don't have much time left.

587. Stop!

588. - Wednesday! - Hey! Over here!

589. Oh my God!

590. Tyler.

591. Enough.

592. We both know I'm who you really want.

593. Enid, over here!

594. What if I lied about my feelings?

595. You were right.

596. I was attracted to you.

597. But you do know there's only one way we can truly be together.

598. Say hello to your new master.

599. Francoise!

600. We had a deal.

601. Wednesday.

602. What were you thinking?

603. I had it under control.

604. One more word and I'm taking you out of Nevermore.

605. - You just called that thing "Francoise." - Yes.

606. - Is that Tyler's mother? - Yes.

607. You freed her from Willow Hill.

608. What deal did you make?

609. Francoise gave me her word that she would control Tyler,

610. and they'd leave Jericho forever.

611. - And you believe the words of a Hyde? - I believe the word of a mother.

612. Poe said, "I don't believe in ghosts,

613. but they've been chasing me my whole life."

614. I've always believed that to be haunted is a choice.

615. What we are really haunted by is our past.

616. No matter how hard we try to shake it free,

617. it has us by the teeth.

618. Pugsley's zombie,

619. it's Isaac.

620. Francoise is alive too.

621. If this past haunts us...

622. Oh, fiddlesticks!

623. the present is a graveyard that requires payment for transgressions.

624. Hello, Judi.

625. Do you remember me?

626. Tyler and his mother are now reunited.

627. Will Francoise keep her word and go quietly into the night?

628. Or is she set on a darker purpose?

629. I've kept Enid safe until now.

630. But my investigation is stymied,

631. and I can feel time slipping away like sand through an hourglass.