Wednesday 2x4

1. Come in!

2. Hmm.

3. Hmm.

4. I've read your book.

5. Unlocking the Outcast Mind.

6. It came in very handy when I was grooming Tyler.

7. You'll forgive me if I don't use that as a pull quote in the next edition.

8. I thought keeping you two apart would diminish your emotional hold over him.

9. But it hasn't, has it?

10. And now you want me to tell you how to unlock my little monster.

11. I want to know what you did to Tyler, so that I can rehabilitate him.

12. Rehabilitate?

13. Is that what you do here?

14. I had always heard whispers that Willow Hill performed

15. secret experiments on the Outcasts.

16. We also do alien autopsies in the basement.

17. Now, are you willing to help me or not?

18. Only if you'll agree to have me transferred here permanently,

19. as a patient, and not a prisoner.

20. That will be for a jury to decide.

21. I'm sorry we couldn't make this work.

22. I'll have to find a more invasive method to unlock Tyler.

23. Arrange her transfer back to Northern State Correctional.

24. And please note that I recommend the prisoner be placed

25. in solitary confinement until her trial.

26. - Yes, Doctor. - Ugh.

27. You've made your point. I'm willing to help.

28. All I ask is that...

29. you let me see Tyler, face-to-face.

30. Just once.

31. Please.

32. Tyler.

33. It's okay.

34. Mama's here.

35. Look at what they've done to you.

36. Oh, I know, baby.

37. I missed you too.

38. I've been dreaming about this moment.

39. Don't hit the shock collar. It'll kill her.

40. Easy... Easy, sweetie.

41. I know you're upset.

42. Just put Mommy down.

43. I promise I'll get you out of here.

44. Nothing stirs the senses like a funerary urn.

45. The only people who deserve to be buried in this dump are the maintenance staff.

46. Grandmama,

47. you're here.

48. My granddaughter calls up for dirt on a competitor?

49. You practically dared me to show up.

50. I knew you'd be working weekends.

51. Death never takes a holiday, so neither do I.

52. Why are you interested in this Patricia Redcar?

53. She's part of my ongoing investigation.

54. Look. I found all of these obituaries.

55. All Outcasts, all patients at Willow Hill.

56. They're all cremated and buried here.

57. What does this have to do with you?

58. I saw a vision of my roommate's death. Somehow it's all connected.

59. Please give her my card.

60. I offer a friends and family discount on all funerals and caskets.

61. If I had my psychic ability back, I would have solved this already.

62. My mom's going to burn Goody's book.

63. No crying over spilled ashes.

64. You know what I say about feelings.

65. Bury them deep inside and allow them to slowly eat away at you.

66. It's all in the wrist.

67. Ah.

68. Shoddy work, I must say. Lumpy.

69. Hmm. That's odd.

70. Here, just like I taught you.

71. Overtones of deer.

72. Hints of squirrel and raccoon.

73. And a subtle finish of Shih Tzu.

74. Very good.

75. What's missing?

76. Human.

77. My evidence!

78. A good run through the tombstones always makes you feel alive.

79. Was that crow luring you into a murderous trap?

80. Varicose and I had wagers.

81. The Avian that controls them just stole all my evidence.

82. I've rattled their birdcage.

83. The plot thickens. What's next?

84. Buy this cemetery and find out who authorized those cremations.

85. Why would I do something so rash?

86. Once you tell my mother you're finally getting me into the family business,

87. all her childhood insecurities will come bubbling to the surface.

88. Well played, my dear.

89. You know exactly how to worm your way into my cold, desiccated heart.

90. Usually an obituary is the end of the story...

91. not the beginning of an even stranger one.

92. Who faked those patients' deaths?

93. Who is Lois?

94. And how was all of this connected to Enid's impending death?

95. The sooner I get answers,

96. the sooner I can save Enid...

97. Wednesday!

98. who I currently want to murder.

99. Didn't you see the scrunchie on the door?

100. That's kind of universal code for "do not disturb."

101. You know I'm not above using a nail gun.

102. - How long have you been here? - Somewhere between...

103. and...

104. I'm definitely scarred.

105. - Let's go. - Stay out of my room, you little creep.

106. That was strike two.

107. I was trying to take mundane tasks off your plate

108. so you can focus on the case.

109. Like picking up your mail.

110. Got a letter from your publisher. Figured you'd want it ASAP.

111. "Dear Miss Addams, we all love Viper..." Dah-duh-dah-duh-dah...

112. "You're incredibly difficult to work with..." Blah-blah-blah...

113. "Adamant refusal to engage in the editing and rewriting process..."

114. Dah-duh-dah-dah-dah.

115. "Regrettably, I must drop you as a writer. Please seek help."

116. I'm sorry.

117. Why? I'd rather no one read my novel than make a compromise.

118. Now that this Avian is aware of our investigation,

119. we don't have much time.

120. All of our answers are in the Willow Hill asylum.

121. And I know just the lunatic to get them for me.

122. Hello?

123. You rang?

124. Thanks for coming on such short notice.

125. For my favorite niece,

126. I'm always a lurk away.

127. I need you to get into Willow Hill.

128. Last time I did that was for your mother.

129. She wanted me to check on her sister.

130. Aunt Ophelia was in there? When?

131. Oh, years ago. She'd flown the coop by the time I got committed.

132. I stuck around for a few weeks.

133. They had a top-notch electroshock therapist, Igor.

134. He ran a gulag in Siberia.

135. He really knew how to rattle the old cerebral cortex.

136. Nobody sneaks up on me, kid.

137. She with you?

138. This is my stalker.

139. I turned her into an unpaid expendable gofer.

140. Huh.

141. I'm a big fan of child labor.

142. A stampede of chupacabras makes less noise than you.

143. Learn to hold your breath, and walk on the seams of the floorboards.

144. Thanks for the pro-tip.

145. I took the liberty of getting you the Willow Hill blueprints.

146. I need you to find Lois. Could be a patient, could be a doctor.

147. Just make sure the head shrink, Dr. Fairburn, can't trace you back to me.

148. Oh, don't worry. If there's an expert on getting committed to a loony bin,

149. it's me.

150. - Thank you. - Thank you.

151. I'd like a suite.

152. The biggest you've got.

153. One night only.

154. Welcome to the Inn at Apple Hollow, Mr. Diabolik.

155. I'll need a credit card.

156. I'd rather pay in cash.

157. - Uh... - Don't worry, that washes off.

158. - Honey, what is that? - I have no idea, my dear...

159. Excuse me. Are you even gonna file a complaint about this? It's ridiculous.

160. Yeah, is this the sheriff's office?

161. Yeah, this is Jennifer Nussbaum at the Inn at Apple Hollow.

162. I need to report a guest.

163. This is our perp.

164. Desk clerk said he paid with stolen money and could be dangerous.

165. Just to be safe, clear the floor.

166. Go door-to-door.

167. I'll handle Mr. Diabolik.

168. This room's supposed to be empty.

169. Who are you?

170. Jericho Police, open the door!

171. I wanna know what love is

172. Police, come out with your hands up!

173. I want you to show me

174. - Show me! - Show me your hands!

175. I wanna feel what love is

176. You've got 18 passports and 33 driver's licenses.

177. Care to explain?

178. I love to travel.

179. It's my passion.

180. - Sheriff. - Yeah?

181. Check this out.

182. Bank robber who eluded arrest last year.

183. Well...

184. at least they got my good side.

185. Hmm!

186. Nature's candy.

187. Call Dr. Fairburn.

188. Tell her we're gonna need a full psych evaluation on this one.

189. He's not our only mystery.

190. Apparently, she's been squatting in that hotel room for a month.

191. They have no record of her checking in, and she has no ID.

192. So, what exactly are we looking at?

193. Gala invitations. Each one needs to be stuffed and sealed.

194. I'll count this towards your mandatory community service hours.

195. I'm not sure why I was punished,

196. when these two morons are the ones who hid the brain-eating zombie.

197. I'm just their RA.

198. Professor Orloff has kindly agreed to supervise.

199. We need these invitations out pronto.

200. Bianca will show you how it's done.

201. I actually have a personal matter I need to attend to.

202. These invitations are your only priority.

203. I know, but you don't understand—

204. I have to tell the board that we missed our first fundraising goal

205. because we haven't landed our top donor yet.

206. But that's what you do when you're a leader.

207. You take the heat for other people's screw-ups.

208. Okay, people.

209. Let's get busy.

210. Those envelopes won't stuff themselves.

211. And I've got my eye on you two.

212. Building a funeral pyre for Goody's book?

213. Darling, if you're here to plead your case again—

214. I don't grovel.

215. Like Grandmama said, there's no crying over spilled ashes.

216. Hmm.

217. She seems to be showering you with advice lately.

218. Aunt Ophelia was sent to Willow Hill.

219. Why?

220. Ask your Grandmama.

221. It was her decision.

222. You accuse me of keeping secrets, but you're no better.

223. Maybe that's where I get it from.

224. In her sophomore year...

225. Ophelia was found screaming in the quad.

226. Black tears running down her cheeks.

227. She had pushed her psychic ability too far.

228. That's when she was sent away.

229. But unlike you...

230. I did grovel.

231. I pleaded with Grandmama that Ophelia would only get worse in Willow Hill.

232. That her problems weren't mental, they were psychic.

233. But my appeals fell on deaf ears.

234. Grandmama was always better at burying things than fixing them.

235. Old memories are like old corpses.

236. They never quite seem the same when you dig them up.

237. Mama,

238. what an unpleasant surprise.

239. Varicose told me you rang.

240. And I wanted to give Wednesday the deed to the cemetery I bought her.

241. Just a little starter property, give her a taste of the family business.

242. A woman should have a portfolio of her own,

243. and not be reliant on a husband.

244. You do spoil her... rotten.

245. Darling, Grandmama and I need to speak.

246. Alone.

247. Augustus Stonehurst.

248. That's who signed those death certificates.

249. What are you and Wednesday up to?

250. She asked for my help.

251. You're not helping. You're driving a wedge between me and my daughter.

252. That wedge was already an unbridgeable abyss, dear.

253. My advice?

254. Stop the constant hovering.

255. Wednesday needs space to grow.

256. If she gets into a little trouble, it's a mother's job to stand back,

257. let her figure it out for herself.

258. Thrive or die.

259. Says a woman whose youngest daughter has been missing for 20 years.

260. What happened to your sister was a tragedy,

261. but even if I had said something, she would never have listened.

262. Unlike me, who took every one of your withering words to heart.

263. Is that your sales pitch to get me to donate to the Nevermore gala?

264. - I heard they put you in charge. - Hmm.

265. No doubt they're hoping you can convince me to chisel open my casket of riches.

266. I'm raising funds, not the dead.

267. And besides, we both know you'd rather be buried with your millions.

268. I am willing to make a donation.

269. But... there is one condition.

270. Isn't there always with you, Mama?

271. Give Wednesday back her book.

272. My family's non-negotiable.

273. Your phone's been blowing up since we got here.

274. What's going on?

275. Um, nothing. I'm fine.

276. My fangs aren't the sharpest in the pit,

277. but I can definitely tell when something isnot fine.

278. It's my mom.

279. She's in trouble.

280. And I've got to get her out of it before she permanently ruins her life.

281. But I can't siren Orloff.

282. His head's in a jar, so it blocks my song.

283. You two, less gabbing, more stuffing.

284. Uh, Professor?

285. Can you take a look at these, make sure I got the seals right?

286. You know, I don't usually do snail mail... Whoa!

287. Okay. That bought us a couple hours.

288. Us? This is my problem.

289. Nightshades forever, right?

290. Hey, we want to go too.

291. Stay here and finish the rest of the invitations.

292. We have Fester Fumagalli,

293. Fester Dubois,

294. and my personal favorite,

295. Fester Fiesta.

296. What is your real name?

297. Oh, it's just Fester. Like an open wound.

298. You do understand you're in a psychiatric hospital.

299. Hmm. They used to call them funny farms.

300. My parents abandoned me at one when I was ten.

301. They said it was summer camp, but they never came back.

302. Tell me what you see, Fester.

303. Death.

304. Death.

305. Ice cream cone.

306. Wait, turn it that way.

307. Still death.

308. Love you, Mr. Cuddlecoat.

309. You never forget the cold embrace of your first straitjacket.

310. Is that an amenity you offer here?

311. - His brain scan, Doctor. - Thank you.

312. It's a doozy.

313. Welcome to Willow Hill.

314. We have a very long journey ahead of us.

315. Nothing like a good jolt to get this party started.

316. Any chance I can get a second round?

317. Now don't be afraid to really get in there and stroke that canvas.

318. And really make that sunset shine.

319. Interesting interpretation.

320. Some people wrestle with darkness, not me.

321. I love shadows. That's where I do my best stalking.

322. You seen anybody named Lois around here?

323. Hmm.

324. Ooh, Dream Weaver

325. I believe you can Get me through the night

326. Ooh, Dream Weaver

327. I believe we can reach The morning light

328. Lois?

329. No.

330. Oh, your name'sLouise.

331. Eh.

332. Ooh, Dream Weaver

333. I believe you can Get me through the night

334. Stonehurst used to be the Normie head doctor at Willow Hill.

335. Before that, he taught science at Nevermore.

336. When he's not signing questionable death certificates,

337. where is the good doctor these days?

338. In Willow Hill.

339. He had a psychotic break.

340. Confined to his own asylum.

341. - That's a plot twist worthy of Poe. - Wednesday!

342. Want to order a quad and join us?

343. Maybe have some fun?

344. I'm where fun goes to die. Where's Thing?

345. I need you.

346. It's urgent.

347. Get a message to Fester.

348. Go tell her you're feeling left out.

349. I need him to track down Augustus Stonehurst.

350. I think he might be our key to finding Lois.

351. I know you're a chronic under-sharer,

352. but after last year, I figured we'd be closer.

353. Seems you prefer hanging out with that pint-sized psycho, Agnes, more than me.

354. Seems like you're a little preoccupied.

355. You can't blame this on Bruno and the pack.

356. Didn't you say you wanted your fun and freedom?

357. I can also help on non-case-related issues too.

358. Like a boundary-challenged mother?

359. Hello, been there.

360. And also, who's had powers that have failed them? Done that too.

361. Hello? Wednesday?

362. Enid, get inside now.

363. No, you're my best friend. I'm not gonna let you keep pulling away.

364. Enid!

365. Table!

366. Where did those birds come from?

367. Thing!

368. Wednesday!

369. I appreciate the heads-up.

370. Ms. Addams?

371. This is a surprise.

372. I think you dropped this.

373. Excuse me?

374. What brings you to Nevermore, Dr. Fairburn?

375. Ms. Capri generously offered to teach a music therapy class at Willow Hill.

376. You know what they say, music soothes the savage beast.

377. I'll take weapons over Wagner.

378. I don't want to guess how you two know each other.

379. Ms. Addams assisted with a certain homicidal Hyde.

380. No time for tea.

381. Judi keeps me on a tight leash.

382. I have a board meeting. I'll see you tomorrow night.

383. Yeah.

384. You seem out of breath.

385. It's been a long day.

386. I assume you're here to drop out of the gala orchestra.

387. I've decided to stick around.

388. Every Mozart needs their Salieri.

389. What were you doing in that room?

390. There's no record of you checking in, and you've no ID.

391. We can't help you unless you start talking to us.

392. Mom.

393. Are you okay?

394. You're her daughter?

395. Could I have a word with you both?

396. I think it'll clear everything up.

397. You will drop this investigation,

398. shred any paperwork, and forget you ever met my mother.

399. I hear your Uncle Fester's in Willow Hill.

400. We both know he only gets caught when he wants to.

401. What ill-advised mission is he doing for you?

402. Helping me find the truth.

403. I won't allow Enid to die because of me.

404. I know what I saw in that vision.

405. A torrent of birds around her gravestone,

406. the same torrent that attacked you both today,

407. not to mention poor Thing.

408. You need to stop, Wednesday.

409. Or you're going to make everything worse.

410. Much worse.

411. Thing!

412. "Find Stonehurst and you'll find Lois."

413. Hey, Wilbur, I'm looking for a schlub named Stonehurst.

414. He won amnesiac bingo yesterday. Forgot to pick up his prize.

415. Can you point him out?

416. Old Gus prefers different company.

417. - He doesn't say much. - What happened to him?

418. Search me. Before my time.

419. Fairburn has us bring him out here a few times a week.

420. Ozzie's his favorite.

421. She's almost as old as he is, and she's got a potty mouth,

422. so watch out.

423. Do me a solid and roll him back to his room in ten.

424. - He's in 103. - 103.

425. I'm looking for Lois.

426. Name ring a bell, old-timer?

427. Ozzie is a good girl. She never tells.

428. You know Lois?

429. - Shut your piehole. - Excuse me?

430. Eat shit, baldy.

431. Start squawking or I start frying feathers.

432. - Holy shit. I'll talk! - How do I find Lois?

433. 51971.

434. 51971.

435. Ms. Addams, I heard there was some excitement in the Link.

436. An Avian is trying to kill me.

437. Huh. You seem to attract murderers like most people catch colds.

438. It's a gift.

439. Do you remember an Augustus Stonehurst?

440. I understand he was a science teacher here.

441. Gus was very popular.

442. - But I was never a fan. - Why not?

443. He was a Normie.

444. And I never trusted him.

445. Did he ever mention anybody named Lois? A wife, a daughter?

446. His wife died before he got to Nevermore.

447. But he had a little girl.

448. I don't remember her name.

449. He built her an aviary up in Iago Tower.

450. Hey, come on.

451. We can hide your mom in an old classroom.

452. When have I let you down?

453. I've always had your back. You've always had mine.

454. So, relax. I've never been more confident about anything.

455. I have it under control. I'm—

456. - Hold on. - Ajax!

457. Fester, get a move on. Lights out in 20.

458. I'll be by to check on Gus.

459. I always love a woman in chains.

460. Fester Addams.

461. Lois... Lo...

462. Lois...

463. Lo...

464. Lois.

465. Lois.

466. Sweet dreams, pal.

467. My connection to Tyler runs deep.

468. I'm the only one that he trusts.

469. Is that why I watched him try to snap your neck?

470. Well, he thought I had abandoned him.

471. But he would never kill me.

472. If a Hyde murders their master, they seal their own doom.

473. So, if you really want to get inside his head,

474. we'll have to do it together.

475. Do you honestly think that I don't see through your delusional fantasy?

476. I am open to a deal.

477. I have information I know you will want to hear.

478. - I very much doubt that. - Fester Addams.

479. Are you aware that he's a patient here?

480. I saw him a while ago wheeling around a comatose resident.

481. Addams.

482. And he's probably working with his niece, Wednesday.

483. If she's got her pigtails in your business,

484. trouble isn't far behind.

485. Fester Addams.

486. That's gonna tickle!

487. Welcome back.

488. I thought you'd be more comfortable in here.

489. Even gave you a cellmate.

490. Be careful.

491. He bites.

492. You need to go back to Willow Hill.

493. Keep an eye on Fester until I can figure out a way to break him out.

494. Weather's turning ugly.

495. Capri has a music therapy class tonight at Willow Hill.

496. She's our way in and out.

497. Her class lasts 45 minutes. That's our window.

498. Thing is already connected with Fester's contact on the inside.

499. She knows where he's being held.

500. Thing will lie low until I've secured Fester, and make his own way out.

501. There's a vehicle inspection at the gate.

502. Agnes, I need you to distract the guard so I can get inside.

503. I'll be in position before you arrive.

504. After I rendezvous with Fester's contact,

505. I'll extract him from his cell, then go find Lois.

506. And what about me?

507. What's my part of the plan?

508. Do you even want to be my friend anymore?

509. That has never been in question.

510. You're on lookout.

511. I figured I'd be a bit more mission-critical.

512. You are.

513. You see, if I get caught,

514. I need someone to anonymously tip off Sheriff Santiago

515. that something is going down at Willow Hill.

516. All by myself

517. Don't want to be

518. Isadora Capri, I'm here to teach a music class.

519. Welcome to Willow Hill, Ms. Capri.

520. Hey Dwayne, I need a vehicle check.

521. Ugh! I've gotta lay off those vending machine burritos.

522. My stomach's gone all Cirque du Soleil.

523. Gonna have to check the trunk.

524. You okay?

525. - What the hell'd you do in there? - Sorry, I'm gonna be late.

526. Yeah. It's okay. Go on, go in.

527. What the hell was that?

528. - How was the drive? - It was long.

529. Thank you so much for doing this, Isadora. Really.

530. - Just in here. - Oh.

531. Everyone.

532. Hey, so, uh...

533. Uh...

534. Tonight, I was going to talk to you about music,

535. but now that I'm here and I see you have this beautiful piano,

536. I'm going to play for you instead.

537. Because I believe that music

538. can heal the wounds medicine can't touch.

539. Evening, Louise. What's on the menu tonight?

540. Oh, nothing edible.

541. Tell Fester I'll be waiting for him.

542. Less than ten seconds!

543. That might be a family record.

544. Play nice.

545. We don't have much time.

546. - We need to find Lois. - All right.

547. Tell Dr. Fairburn she is making a huge mistake.

548. No mistake.

549. She needs me.

550. I'm the only person alive who can help her understand the mind of a Hyde.

551. Keep moving.

552. Hey!

553. What's happening?

554. Dr. Fairburn, the zombie is on the loose.

555. I'm authorizing a code four security protocol.

556. Take this thing down by any means necessary.

557. Everybody, stay calm.

558. I need to get everyone outside.

559. It's okay, Gus. I'll escort you myself.

560. Five, one, nine, seven, one.

561. How'd you know the code?

562. Trash-talking parrot.

563. Don't ask.

564. This place is full of surprises.

565. Look at the initials.

566. "Long-term Outcast Integration Study."

567. Lois isn't a person.

568. It's a secret program.

569. I think that's Patricia Redcar.

570. And that's Julian Meiojas.

571. I recognize them from their obituaries.

572. Except neither is six feet under.

573. Their deaths must have been faked so they could be kept as living experiments.

574. This is what Galpin was afraid would happen to Tyler.

575. Help me!

576. Hello?

577. Are you here to kill me?

578. Then leave me alone.

579. So you are the new face of mad doctors.

580. You do realize that Fairburn doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely as Frankenstein.

581. There's nothing mad about what I'm doing.

582. Fairburn works for me.

583. I recruited her to be the public face of this institution

584. and continue my father's work.

585. You're Augustus Stonehurst's daughter.

586. That's how you knew about the secret passages at Nevermore.

587. You must've used them to visit your aviary in Iago Tower.

588. I have very fond memories of my father's time at Nevermore.

589. He loved Outcasts.

590. Evidence to the contrary.

591. He wanted to be one.

592. Imagine being able to extract their abilities and share it with Normies.

593. You mean steal them and exploit them.

594. This is a basement bargain attempt at Dr. Moreau.

595. I did more than just attempt.

596. I am living proof.

597. I was born a Normie,

598. and thanks to my father's work,

599. my beautiful black-winged friends obey my every whim.

600. Experimenting on his own daughter.

601. That's twisted.

602. Even by my own sick standards.

603. I volunteered!

604. My father and I were a team.

605. He needed a subject.

606. I wanted to be part of his legacy.

607. Until he lost his mind?

608. He wanted to be a DaVinci, but his body couldn't take it.

609. Well, if you can't bring Icarus to the sun, bring the sun to Icarus.

610. Right, Fester?

611. What the hell happened?

612. Wednesday happened.

613. We need to call in Sheriff Santiago.

614. Oh!

615. Get off of me! Stop it! Get off!

616. As much as I wanna watch them pluck her feathers, we gotta vamoose.

617. Get off of me!

618. You go.

619. I owe you one, Uncle Fester.

620. Are you kidding me?

621. We just liberated our first asylum!

622. I live for days like this.

623. - I'm going to get you out of here. - What kind of angel are you?

624. An avenging one.

625. I told you Mama would get you out of here.

626. I could never abandon you.

627. Wish I could say the same.

628. You're the reason I've been locked away in here.

629. You're not my mother.

630. You're my master.

631. Or should I say...

632. you were.

633. Wednesday Addams! We both know that she's the real enemy.

634. She's here, in the building, right now.

635. Destiny has given us a second chance to take her out.

636. I'll take care of Wednesday.

637. Right after I take care of you.

638. I'm the only one who's ever loved you.

639. I unlocked your true potential.

640. You did.

641. That's why I'll give you a five-second head start.

642. Run.

643. Please, Tyler.

644. Mommy loves you.

645. Of all the women I've ever used, you're my favorite.

646. We'll be safe in here.

647. Who's there?

648. Show yourself.

649. Hello...

650. old friend.

651. Go.

652. Now.

653. Up top!

654. Get back!

655. Somebody get an ambulance!

656. I've always dreamed of looking death in the face.

657. But in my final moments,

658. all I hear is my mother's words ringing in my ears.

659. Maybe I have made everything worse.

660. Much worse.