Wednesday 1x3

1. Let's assess, shall we?

2. Bag over my head for optimal disorientation,

3. wrists tied tight enough to cut off circulation,

4. and no idea if I'm going to live or die.

5. It's definitely my kind of party.

6. Who dares breach our inner sanctum?

7. You can take the mask off, Bianca.

8. And just like that, my hopes were dashed

9. against the rocks of bitter disappointment.

10. My foe was no psychotic killer.

11. More like a bunch of high school clowns.

12. Wait, I preferred you with it on.

13. - How did you get down here? - Rowan showed me.

14. Left pocket.

15. I tracked the watermark to the Poe statue.

16. - Then I solved the riddle. - Wait, there's a riddle?

17. I thought we just snapped twice.

18. Well, aren't you the brightest in the bunch?

19. The Nightshades are an elite social club.

20. Emphasis on elite.

21. We have roof parties, campouts, the occasional midnight skinny-dip.

22. And Yoko's an amateur mixologist.

23. She makes a killer virgin mojito. It can get pretty wild.

24. Wow. Do you guys even have a bedtime?

25. Last I heard, the Nightshades had been disbanded.

26. Yeah, the group kind of lost its charter 30 years ago after some normie kid died.

27. But we have a lot of wealthy alumni,

28. so Weems looks the other way as long as nobody makes any waves.

29. - Someone like Rowan? - We booted that loser last semester.

30. Question is, what are we gonna do with her?

31. Only members are allowed in this library.

32. - I say we invite her to pledge. - What?

33. She is a legacy.

34. After the crap she pulled in the Poe Cup, there's no way in hell.

35. We talk about not making waves? She's a tsunami.

36. Just because I beat you at your own game? Let me save you the trouble.

37. I'm not interested in joining.

38. You're seriously turning us down?

39. Can you believe it?

40. Untie her.

41. I freed myself five minutes ago.

42. Do you want a matching black eye?

43. It's amateurs like you who give kidnapping a bad name.

44. There were so many threads to my investigation,

45. I could weave a burial shroud.

46. I still have no idea how Rowan mysteriously rose from the dead.

47. Or why that monster is prowling the woods.

48. But right now, nothing intrigues me more than this book.

49. If I'm going to be responsible for Nevermore's demise,

50. the question is,

51. why am I sharing this apocalypse with a pilgrim?

52. All students will report for their volunteer jobs

53. at 10:00 a.m. sharp,

54. followed by a community lunch at 1:00.

55. As you know, this year Outreach Day culminates in a very special event,

56. the dedication of a new memorial statue in the town square,

57. which will also include performances by Nevermore students.

58. As representatives of our school,

59. I trust you will all put your best face forward.

60. - Yeah. - Yes!

61. Yes! I got Pilgrim World.

62. I have natural people skills and a love of performing,

63. so it's kind of the obvi choice.

64. What'd you get?

65. Uriah's Heap, whatever that is.

66. Ew. It's this weird, creepy antique store.

67. You'll love it though.

68. I'm crossing my claws Ajax and I will be outreaching together.

69. Oh my God, I got the Weathervane.

70. Dude, trade with me. Come on, trade with me!

71. Wednesday, don't worry about your cello.

72. I'll have it brought to the town square this afternoon.

73. My cello?

74. I caught your rooftop serenade the other night.

75. Impressive.

76. I volunteered you to accompany the Jericho High School marching band

77. at the ceremony.

78. I'm sure it won't be too challenging to play an uplifting Fleetwood Mac melody.

79. As long as you promise to hang me as a witch afterwards.

80. - Why are you staring at a blank wall? - It wasn't blank last Outreach Day.

81. Are you still stewing because I rejected your invitation?

82. I did go out on a limb for you.

83. Please. I'm just cannon fodder in whatever cold war you're waging with Bianca.

84. - I have more pressing issues. - Like what?

85. Tracking down the monster that killed your roommate.

86. Oh my god. For the last time, Rowan was expelled.

87. - Everyone saw him leave. - Have you spoken to him since?

88. I texted him a few times, but I never heard back.

89. I just figured he wanted Nevermore in his rearview mirror.

90. Or he's dead.

91. I don't know why you care. It's not like you knew the guy.

92. I'm not sure why you care so little.

93. People can dismiss me and make a million other excuses, but I'm not gonna stop.

94. Oh, great. I guess you can add "thief" to your resume.

95. I don't know what the big deal is about an old Nightshade's journal anyways.

96. You didn't seem surprised when I showed you this last night.

97. You've seen it before, haven't you?

98. Yeah. A couple days before the Harvest Festival.

99. It was open on Rowan's desk.

100. I assumed he stole it after we kicked him out of the Nightshades.

101. Then I confronted him about it, and he kind of went ballistic on me.

102. - It is unbelievable... - Shut up!

103. - How can you? - You're crazy!

104. He threw you against the wall with his telekinesis.

105. Yeah.

106. How did you know that?

107. Lucky guess.

108. It's weird that you're in this. This journal is like, what, 30 years old?

109. What's Crackstone doing in the picture with you?

110. You know who that is?

111. Yeah, it's Joseph Crackstone.

112. He's, like, Jericho's founding father.

113. He's a big deal around here.

114. Yeah, look.

115. That's him.

116. - Sheriff. - Yeah.

117. You remember my son, Lucas?

118. I sure do. I ran into him and his buddies last week at the Weathervane.

119. I'd better get to work.

120. Hey, no trouble today. You got it?

121. Hey, don't look too excited.

122. Those outcast kids might think we're happy to have 'em.

123. We got something lurking in the woods, connected to that school.

124. Come on, would you stop pointing fingers at Nevermore?

125. You know how much Jericho depends on that place.

126. Who do you think pays for our roads, our parks... even your salary?

127. I'm just doing my job, looking out for the well-being of our town, boss.

128. Don't lecture me, Donovan.

129. Before the good citizens of Jericho elected me mayor,

130. I used to wear that badge, remember?

131. Mm-hmm. You never struck me as much of a history buff back then.

132. If it's good for business, then it's good for Jericho.

133. Especially if your business is Pilgrim World.

134. Hey.

135. Just find the damn bear and take care of it.

136. Mmm.

137. All right. Everyone take a seat.

138. We have a special announcement.

139. Welcome, welcome, Nevermore Academy.

140. Now, on behalf of the entire Jericho community,

141. we are so, so pleased to have you all here today.

142. Your generosity and hard work are truly... outreachous!

143. Okay, everyone. We'll see you back here at one o'clock for lunch. Enjoy!

144. Enid.

145. Switch volunteer assignments.

146. What? No. Uriah's Heap is definitely not my bag.

147. It's an emergency. I need to check out Pilgrim World.

148. But Wednesday, this is not a fair trade.

149. Why would I agree to spend the entire day at some dumpy emporium of crapola?

150. Because Ajax is volunteering there.

151. Thing sneaked a peek at his assignment.

152. - But if you're not interested... - No!

153. Oh my God, thank you. You're the best!

154. Welcome to Pilgrim World!

155. Witch trials every day!

156. Two o'clock, four o'clock!

157. Hey, man! Woman!

158. Hey, Wednesday, want to grab a Hummers group photo?

159. Guess not.

160. Good morrow, my young Nevermore kin.

161. I am Mistress Arlene. A real OC.

162. Original colonist.

163. Now prithee, put your cell phones on vibrate and make haste,

164. for you are about to travel back in time to the year of our Lord 1625,

165. to Jericho's first pilgrim settlement.

166. Yonder.

167. Behold, the meeting house.

168. Inside is a collection of artifacts

169. related to Jericho's most beloved and pious founder,

170. Joseph Crackstone.

171. And beyond is our privy, America's first gender-neutral restroom.

172. I haveth a query.

173. Pray, be quick, child.

174. In the meeting house,

175. which of Joseph Crackstone's artifacts are on display?

176. It is truly a treasure trove,

177. including original farm tools, tableware, even the Crackstone family chamber pot.

178. Sounds fascinating. I volunteer to work in there.

179. Pray, no. That exhibit is being renovated.

180. Today, thou will all be working at the beating heart of Pilgrim World.

181. Ye olde fudgery!

182. "Ye Olde Fudgery?"

183. More like ye olde diabetes in a box.

184. Volunteers, prick up thine ears.

185. Fudge is the lifeblood of our humble community.

186. And samples equal sales,

187. so grab a uniform and a box and make our forefathers proud.

188. Are these for muzzling tourists?

189. I'm pretty sure it's dead.

190. See the tire treads across its tail?

191. Local artist scooped that fella up right here on Route 22.

192. You're telling me someone actually goes out and collects roadkill

193. and turns them into that?

194. Can't keep them on the shelves.

195. Got a whole section dedicated to these beauties.

196. Squirrels, skunks, snakes,

197. and my personal fave...

198. family of ferrets at a clambake.

199. Too cute.

200. You two want to make yourself useful?

201. I reckon they could use a good brush with a Tangle Teezer.

202. It freshens up the fur.

203. Maybe we can do that after, like, a...

204. An extended coffee break.

205. Right, Ajax?

206. Uh, yeah. We'll hit the Weathervane. Want us to pick you up something?

207. No need to pay for that overpriced hipster swill.

208. I'm brewing chaga.

209. It's my own blend.

210. Mushroom tea.

211. I foraged the little buggers myself.

212. Better get teasing. You're in for a treat.

213. Okay.

214. This is good.

215. - Delicious. - You're welcome.

216. Enjoy your "authentic" pilgrim fudge made with cacao beans

217. procured by the oppressed indigenous people of the Amazon.

218. What?

219. All proceeds go to uphold this pathetic whitewashing of American history.

220. Also, fudge wasn't invented for another 258 years.

221. Any takers?

222. No, no, no.

223. Ugh.

224. Check out this greedy little freak.

225. Please, I need to get back to the...

226. Whoa, yuck!

227. Yuck, man.

228. Come here!

229. Get in there!

230. Howdy, Pilgrims.

231. - Let him go. - You want to end up in the stocks too?

232. Remember what happened the last time we did this dance?

233. Get her!

234. Are you two still here?

235. I can't get into more trouble with my dad.

236. No, wait!

237. Lucas.

238. Let's get you cleaned up.

239. Principal Weems.

240. Well, it looks like another successful Outreach Day is upon us.

241. And, uh...

242. thank you for your generous donation to my re-election campaign.

243. Consider it a token of our ongoing cooperation.

244. Apparently everyone is off to their assignments.

245. And so far no incidents.

246. Mayor Walker, I'd like you to meet Marilyn Thornhill.

247. In the spirit of outreach, she's Nevermore's first normie teacher.

248. Well, the pleasure is all mine.

249. Hey, have we, uh... Have we met before?

250. Not officially, but I see you in here every morning.

251. You're always tucked into that back booth when I come for my daily matcha latte.

252. I knew it!

253. Miss Thornhill, please keep me posted,

254. especially about a certain pig-tailed upstart.

255. Right.

256. Nobody's ever stood up for me before.

257. You said Hummers stick together.

258. I know this might come as a shock,

259. but I don't have any friends.

260. You remind me of my brother,

261. sans the desire to strangle him every waking moment.

262. Now follow me.

263. I need to know more about this Crackstone.

264. We have a meeting house to break into.

265. - Give me your retainer. - What? Why? Your teeth are really good.

266. Not as straight or white as Enid's, but...

267. Hand it over!

268. What if Mistress Arlene catches us?

269. Hive code, deny everything.

270. That's not hive code!

271. What's the big deal anyway?

272. The fudge is definitely the best thing about this place.

273. Stop talking. Keep watch.

274. My grandmother once told me secrets are like zombies...

275. they never truly die.

276. I'm not sure what secret Crackstone is hiding,

277. but I have a strange feeling the answers to my future lie in the past.

278. The Old Meeting House, 1625.

279. Thing, this is the girl from my vision.

280. She's even holding the same book.

281. That black one she had outside Crackstone's crypt.

282. How now.

283. Your Nevermore sister,

284. the one with the dark eyes and the sour face,

285. where has she hithered?

286. You mean Wednesday Addams?

287. Knowing her, she's hithered somewhere she shan't be.

288. This is the book!

289. Codex Umbrarum.

290. That's Latin for "Book of Shadows."

291. Great. It's a fake.

292. I don't know who Etsy is, but I doubt she was an outcast settler.

293. Just what the fudge are you doing in here, missy?

294. Mistress Arlene. How now?

295. How now, indeed.

296. I proclaimed the meeting house is under repair.

297. I know thoust heard me.

298. I told her the door was unlocked

299. and you were dying to learn more about Crackstone.

300. Yes, and this display case was already open.

301. - That book's a replica. - You don't say.

302. The original was stolen last month during the two o'clock witch trial.

303. It was probably the only authentic thing you have in here,

304. yet you still charge $29.95 a ticket?

305. Hold thy tongue.

306. I'm reassigning you both.

307. To fudge-churning duty.

308. The original meeting house, the one in that painting, where is it?

309. How the hell should I know?

310. I only moved here from Scottsdale in April.

311. Can I help you?

312. Ooh. That gives me the heebie-jeebies.

313. I don't know.

314. You think squirrels and rats could ever work out?

315. I mean, they're two totally different species.

316. Oh, yeah.

317. I mean, totally.

318. Why not?

319. They have more in common than you think.

320. Most people are scared of them, so it would just be us... them...

321. against the world.

322. Wow.

323. That was... deep.

324. You know, by the way,

325. I totally dug the way you scratched out the bottom of our boat at Poe Cup.

326. It was pretty badass.

327. Thanks. You're not mad you lost?

328. I was just doing a solid for Xavier.

329. I mean, he's my boy, but he's super competitive.

330. Seems so laid-back.

331. Bro's got a darker side most people don't see.

332. I think it's because his dad is... well, you know, famous.

333. All that pressure.

334. You realize this is, like, the longest conversation we've ever had?

335. Gorgons are taught not to engage.

336. You know, I don't want to accidentally stone someone.

337. I'm not afraid of being stoned by you.

338. It's just temporary.

339. Really?

340. You mean that?

341. One hundo!

342. So, um, I was thinking of sneaking behind the greenhouse tonight.

343. Supposed to be a blue moon.

344. Only happens once every 23 years or something crazy.

345. Should get a killer view from there.

346. Cool. Hey, have fun.

347. You know that's where a lot of kids go to hook up, right?

348. - I mean, it could get awkward. - Ajax!

349. I just spent all morning flirting and hinting and trying to act cute

350. while brushing some roadkill just so you would ask me on a date.

351. Oh!

352. Oh! That's what you were doing.

353. I kind of wondered when you spent so long brushing that opossum's tail.

354. Hey, so you want to meet up behind the greenhouse tonight?

355. Yes.

356. Yes, I do.

357. Ajax, can you help me move the badger dentist to the front window?

358. Yes! I can't believe he asked.

359. I thought you were supposed to be at Pilgrim World.

360. I deserted it while my sanity was still intact.

361. Oh yeah?

362. You want a coffee?

363. It's one of the many perks of this wonderful assignment.

364. I'm actually here for Tyler.

365. I told you he was bad news.

366. Twice.

367. But who I speak to is my business.

368. You rang?

369. Want the usual?

370. And some help.

371. You know the original pilgrim meeting house, the one from the 1600s?

372. You know if it's still around?

373. What's left is out in Cobham Woods, but it's pretty much a ruin.

374. Show me.

375. Uh...

376. There, but, look, it's kind of sketchy.

377. Squatters and meth heads use that place as a crash pad.

378. My dad has it cleared out every couple weeks.

379. What's this about?

380. Nothing.

381. You're becoming obsessed with this monster in the woods thing.

382. Would you rather I develop an obsession with horses and boy bands?

383. Thank you for the help.

384. Hey, listen, the ruins are kind of tricky to find.

385. I could take you this afternoon. My shift ends at 2:00.

386. Principal Weems would hang, draw and quarter me

387. if I miss the big statue dedication.

388. And as enticing as that sounds, I'd prefer to keep a low profile.

389. Besides, I know my way around the great outdoors.

390. Don't tell me you were a Girl Scout.

391. I could eat Girl Scouts for breakfast.

392. I have an uncle who went to prison for that.

393. I was expecting more too.

394. Who you talking to, little girl?

395. Use "little" and "girl" to address me again

396. and I can't guarantee your safety.

397. This is my place. Get out!

398. Thing, a hand here?

399. Hey!

400. Hey!

401. Get off! Get off me!

402. There's nothing here.

403. No, I can't just touch something.

404. My visions seem to happen spontaneously.

405. I would rather dye my hair pink than ask my mother for advice.

406. Oh, you want me to prove it to you?

407. No.

408. Nothing.

409. Ah, I bet this will give us some real insight.

410. My visions are about as predictable as shark attacks.

411. Burn her!

412. Burn her!

413. Burn her!

414. Burn her!

415. Devil spawn!

416. Devil spawn!

417. Beast!

418. Witch!

419. Repent!

420. Begone!

421. - Witch! - Stand aside!

422. Goody Addams!

423. You have been judged before God and found guilty.

424. You are a witch,

425. a sorceress,

426. Lucifer's mistress herself.

427. For your sins,

428. you will burn this night,

429. and suffer the flames of eternal hellfire.

430. I am innocent.

431. It is you, Joseph Crackstone, that should be tried.

432. We were here before you,

433. living in harmony with nature and the native folk.

434. But you have stolen our land.

435. You have slaughtered the innocent. You have robbed us of our peaceful spirit.

436. You are the true monster. All of you!

437. Punish her!

438. The Devil ne'er sent such a demon.

439. And I will send you back!

440. No!

441. You are abominations in the Devil's grip!

442. I will not stop till I have expunged this New World

443. of every outcast.

444. Godless creatures!

445. Set it ablaze!

446. Mother!

447. Mother.

448. There's no time, child.

449. Leave me. Save yourself.

450. He's chained us all to the floor.

451. I shan't leave without you.

452. Run. Avenge us.

453. Find the others and save our future.

454. Please. My sweet lamb.

455. Run. Run as fast as you can.

456. You are our only hope.

457. He won't stop until he's killed us all!

458. He's here.

459. There will be no escape for you.

460. Thing, I saw her!

461. The girl from my visions.

462. Her name is Goody Addams,

463. and I believe she's my ancestor from 400 years ago.

464. Must've been the bearded man from earlier.

465. Come on! Come on!

466. The monster's human.

467. What the hell are you doing?

468. - I was following the monster. - You saw it?

469. It's here? Do you have a death wish or something?

470. What are you doing here?

471. I overheard you say you were checking out the old meeting house.

472. It's lucky I showed up when I did.

473. I did learn one thing.

474. The monster is human.

475. Its tracks turned from monster prints to human ones.

476. Show me.

477. The rain washed them all away.

478. I know what I saw.

479. - I'm trying to keep an open mind. - How big of you.

480. I do think you might be right about Rowan.

481. Why the sudden change of heart?

482. I texted him again today. I said maybe we could meet over spring break

483. and go snowboarding like we did last year.

484. This time he texted right back, said he wouldn't be able to make it.

485. Only you never went snowboarding last year.

486. Part of me wanted to blame his recent weirdness.

487. I didn't want to think something bad had happened.

488. The cover-up is always worse than the crime.

489. Now I need you to be honest with me.

490. Why'd you come out to the old meeting house in the first place?

491. I was trying to learn more about Crackstone.

492. Figure out how he's connected to this.

493. Yeah, you were trying to use your psychic abilities, right?

494. What makes you think I have any?

495. Lucky guess. When did they start?

496. About a year ago.

497. When they happen, it feels like I'm touching live wire.

498. I usually enjoy that sensation.

499. Yeah, but you can't control it and that freaks you out.

500. My dad's a psychic.

501. Vincent Thorpe.

502. My brother's his number one fan.

503. Watched his Vegas Special so many times

504. I'm surprised it's not imprinted on his eyeballs.

505. So I've lived with a self-described master.

506. The first thing he'll tell you is that visions can't be trusted.

507. They only show one part of the picture.

508. I saw Joseph Crackstone in front of me as clearly as I'm seeing you now.

509. He gathered all the outcasts in the meeting house

510. and burned them alive.

511. Okay, he was a sadistic asshole.

512. It was 400 years ago. It's got nothing to do with now.

513. But what if it does?

514. You saw Rowan's drawing. Crackstone was standing in the quad.

515. You're creating a story in your head and using visions to back it up.

516. - They're telling you what you want to see. - Are you mansplaining my power?

517. All I'm saying is my dad, the expert,

518. would warn you that psychic ability isn't rooted in logic.

519. It's triggered by emotions.

520. And let's be honest, emotion isn't your strong suit.

521. I believe Rowan was right.

522. Something bad is going to happen, and I need to stop it.

523. Starting with that monster.

524. Whoever it is.

525. I thought nothing scared me,

526. but that was before I stared into the eyes of Joseph Crackstone.

527. I don't believe in heaven or hell. But I do believe in revenge.

528. I usually serve it warm with a side of pain,

529. but I've never faced an adversary cast in bronze.

530. Thank you.

531. It is my honor to celebrate our town's history

532. and Jericho's noble forefather, Joseph Crackstone.

533. Now, he believed that with a happy heart and an open ear,

534. there was nothing our town couldn't achieve.

535. So together as one, our community and our friends at Nevermore Academy,

536. we've built a monument to celebrate his memory.

537. Now, may the spirit of Joseph Crackstone be memorialized for eternity.

538. That was a disaster.

539. The mayor is furious!

540. I've lost count of the angry phone calls, emails, and people in the town,

541. alumni and parents.

542. They want answers and so do I.

543. I would lead the inquisition,

544. but I left my thumbscrews and rack at home.

545. Miss Addams... you're already on thin ice.

546. Wafer-thin ice.

547. I swear on my late scorpion's soul,

548. my hands are clean.

549. I may not have hard evidence, but I see you.

550. You're a trouble magnet.

551. If trouble means standing up to lies,

552. decades of discrimination,

553. centuries of treating outcasts like second-class citizens or worse...

554. - What are you talking about? - Jericho.

555. Why does this town even have an Outreach Day?

556. Don't you know its real history with outcasts?

557. The actual story of Joseph Crackstone?

558. I do.

559. - To an extent. - Then why be complicit in its cover up?

560. Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

561. That's where you and I differ.

562. Where you see doom,

563. I see opportunity.

564. Maybe this is a chance to rewrite the wrongs,

565. to start a new chapter in the normie-outcast relations.

566. Nothing has changed since Crackstone. They still hate us.

567. Only now they sugarcoat it with platitudes and smiles.

568. - If you're unwilling to fight for truth... - You don't think I want the truth?

569. Of course I do.

570. But the world isn't always black and white.

571. There are shades of gray.

572. Maybe for you.

573. But it's either they write our story or we do.

574. You can't have it both ways.

575. You're exhausting.

576. I know.

577. Goodnight, Miss Addams.

578. But you should know...

579. I don't tire easily.

580. Who the hell's there?

581. Too much?

582. I feel like you just napalmed me, Enid.

583. So glad I have my date with Ajax tonight.

584. Get my mind off that trainwreck of an afternoon.

585. I literally think I have PTSD. I didn't even get to do my dance routine.

586. What a tragedy.

587. What kind of twisted psycho would want to sabotage such a life-affirming event?

588. You're going to be late.

589. Wish me luck.

590. If he breaks your heart, I'll nail-gun his.

591. I don't believe in mandatory volunteer work,

592. sugar-coated history, or happy endings,

593. but most of all... I don't believe in coincidences.

594. To paraphrase Agatha Christie,

595. one coincidence is just a coincidence,

596. two are a clue...

597. and three are proof.

598. No!

599. Rowan's drawing of me and Crackstone happens sometime in the future.

600. Goody Addams' warnings about Crackstone were in the past.

601. And the monster is here in the present.

602. Three coincidences that I know are connected.

603. That monster could be anyone.

604. The sheriff thinks they only exist behind the walls of this school.

605. The truth is, there are monsters everywhere.

606. And sometimes the monsters we least suspect are the most dangerous.

607. They don't need teeth and claws to terrify.

608. They hide in the shadows until no one is looking.

609. And then they strike.

610. But I'm looking now.

611. And I won't stop until I find the truth.