1. Eastern Europe tanks amass...Copy !req
2. with noCopy !req
3. military commitment from NATO...Copy !req
4. California governor urges...Copy !req
5. Nuclear doomsday clockCopy !req
6. standing at one minute to midnight.Copy !req
7. Brothers.Copy !req
8. Let us pray.Copy !req
9. Dear Father, hold us in your light,Copy !req
10. as we prepare to enter the whore's den,Copy !req
11. one minute to midnight,Copy !req
12. on the very brink of extinction.Copy !req
13. Please open their heartsCopy !req
14. as you opened ours.Copy !req
15. In Christ's name, amen.Copy !req
16. Amen.Copy !req
17. One minute before midnight.Copy !req
18. Tick-tock, Wade.Copy !req
19. ['Things Can Only Get Better"Copy !req
20. playing on speakers]Copy !req
21. Are you ready to hear the truth?Copy !req
22. Are you ready to hear the truth?Copy !req
23. Hello, neighbors,Copy !req
24. are you ready to hear the truth?Copy !req
25. The fuck are you supposed to be?Copy !req
26. The Doomsday Clock just movedCopy !req
27. to one minute to midnight.Copy !req
28. At this very moment,Copy !req
29. the entire nuclear arsenalCopy !req
30. of our great countryCopy !req
31. is ready to launch at the Russians,Copy !req
32. and vice versa.Copy !req
33. What's up with the pandas?Copy !req
34. In the Kingdom of Heaven,Copy !req
35. all God's creations live in peaceCopy !req
36. with each—Copy !req
37. Can I have your tie?Copy !req
38. Leave him alone.Copy !req
39. Come on.Copy !req
40. I wanna hear more about the pandas.Copy !req
41. ['Things Can Only Get Better"Copy !req
42. continues playing]Copy !req
43. Come on.Copy !req
44. So, where are you from?Copy !req
45. Tulsa.Copy !req
46. Oklahoma?Copy !req
47. What are you doing in Jersey?Copy !req
48. - This is where the sinners are.Copy !req
49. - Can't argue with you there.Copy !req
50. You really think it's over?Copy !req
51. - What do you mean?Copy !req
52. - You heard Nixon on the news.Copy !req
53. Is the bomb gonna kill us all?Copy !req
54. Yes.Copy !req
55. I believe it is.Copy !req
56. Aren't you afraid?Copy !req
57. No, ma'am.Copy !req
58. Are you afraid of me?Copy !req
59. ['Careless Whisper"Copy !req
60. playing on speakers]Copy !req
61. Uh... No, ma'am.Copy !req
62. What are you afraid of?Copy !req
63. Nothing.Copy !req
64. What are you doing?Copy !req
65. Are you a virgin?Copy !req
66. What?Copy !req
67. Have you ever had sex with a person?Copy !req
68. No.Copy !req
69. This might beCopy !req
70. your last chance, Oklahoma.Copy !req
71. You wouldn't want to get nukedCopy !req
72. before you get fucked.Copy !req
73. Do you?Copy !req
74. Wait...Copy !req
75. It's okay. Just stand there.Copy !req
76. Please. I don't want to.Copy !req
77. Sure looks to me like you do.Copy !req
78. Fuck you, Bible Boy!Copy !req
79. I got that Okie's clothes!Copy !req
80. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
81. You dummy.Copy !req
82. You're pathetic,Copy !req
83. and you're a sinner.Copy !req
84. You're a filthy, dumb sinner,Copy !req
85. and now, you get what you deserve!Copy !req
86. ['Careless Whisper"Copy !req
87. playing distorted]Copy !req
88. What happened?Copy !req
89. What happened?Copy !req
90. What happened?Copy !req
91. What happened?Copy !req
92. We came backCopy !req
93. for all the hit Broadway shows.Copy !req
94. We came backCopy !req
95. to hike through Central Park for hoursCopy !req
96. and not see another soul.Copy !req
97. It's so romantic.Copy !req
98. Maybe I shouldn't have come back.Copy !req
99. 'Cause if this place gets any safer,Copy !req
100. I'm gonna be out of a job.Copy !req
101. I came back for Italian food.Copy !req
102. You know how we like our squid now?Copy !req
103. - With lemon and a little marinara.Copy !req
104. Come back to New York.Copy !req
105. Desire to visit, ten.Copy !req
106. Recommend to friends and family, ten.Copy !req
107. Desire to relocate...Copy !req
108. - Ten.Copy !req
109. They despised it.Copy !req
110. What?Copy !req
111. They despised your commercial.Copy !req
112. No, they all said they loved it.Copy !req
113. You didn't hire meCopy !req
114. to tell you what they said.Copy !req
115. You hired me to tell you the truth.Copy !req
116. They told you they loved itCopy !req
117. because what hot-blooded Oklahoma maleCopy !req
118. is gonna admit he's scared?Copy !req
119. I watched 'em watch.Copy !req
120. And what I saw was fear.Copy !req
121. People buy thingsCopy !req
122. out of fear all the time.Copy !req
123. Not this kind.Copy !req
124. Sorry, gentlemen,Copy !req
125. but all your ad does is remind folksCopy !req
126. that three million people sufferedCopy !req
127. a horrific, traumatizingCopy !req
128. and inexplicable death.Copy !req
129. That was 30 years ago.Copy !req
130. Everybody's over it. They've moved on.Copy !req
131. Well, sir, in my professional opinion...Copy !req
132. They ain't movin' on to New York.Copy !req
133. I suspect the calamari didn't help.Copy !req
134. All right, ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
135. you've gathered up the usual suspects,Copy !req
136. beat the shit out of themCopy !req
137. at your little black site,Copy !req
138. stuck them in Mirror Guy'sCopy !req
139. interrogation pod,Copy !req
140. and you've got absolutelyCopy !req
141. fucking nothing to show for it.Copy !req
142. So, now, we're gonna do things my way.Copy !req
143. We can't see who they are,Copy !req
144. but we can see where they are.Copy !req
145. You find this church...Copy !req
146. Maybe we find the Kavalry.Copy !req
147. I want units checkingCopy !req
148. every house of worshipCopy !req
149. within 50 miles of Tulsa.Copy !req
150. There can't be less than fourCopy !req
151. or five thousand of them, right?Copy !req
152. Okay.Copy !req
153. That'll do it, folks.Copy !req
154. Go get me some religion.Copy !req
155. How do you tell differenceCopy !req
156. between Catholic churchCopy !req
157. and Baptist church?Copy !req
158. They're basically all the same.Copy !req
159. This one might be Episcopalian.Copy !req
160. Hey, Glass,Copy !req
161. you grew up around here.Copy !req
162. You a religious guy?Copy !req
163. Is that lettuce on your sandwich?Copy !req
164. Yeah, so?Copy !req
165. Did you get it out of this?Copy !req
166. Oh, shit. Is that from truck?Copy !req
167. If by "truck,"Copy !req
168. you mean the one filled with lettuceCopy !req
169. driven by a Kavalry memberCopy !req
170. who shot a cop, yes, Red.Copy !req
171. It was gonna go bad.Copy !req
172. - Howdy.Copy !req
173. - What did your ex say about the pills?Copy !req
174. - Nothing as yet.Copy !req
175. Did you tell her that it was important?Copy !req
176. I communicated that, yes.Copy !req
177. How about you pick up the phoneCopy !req
178. and communicate it again?Copy !req
179. Because she's doing a favor.Copy !req
180. And when someone's doing you a favor,Copy !req
181. you don't lean on 'em.Copy !req
182. Oh, so,Copy !req
183. this is you doing me a favor, man?Copy !req
184. Because it looks likeCopy !req
185. you're doing nothing.Copy !req
186. Hey, Mirror Guy?Copy !req
187. Hey, got a minute?Copy !req
188. Have a seat.Copy !req
189. Wade, you can take the mask off.Copy !req
190. I know what you look like.Copy !req
191. Regs say to keep 'em onCopy !req
192. inside the precinct.Copy !req
193. Why? We're all on the same side.Copy !req
194. The concealment of identityCopy !req
195. is critical to our safety.Copy !req
196. Wade, do you think I'm a memberCopy !req
197. of the Seventh Kavalry?Copy !req
198. No, ma'am.Copy !req
199. Then why don't youCopy !req
200. just roll that baby upCopy !req
201. and let me seeCopy !req
202. those sad green eyes of yours?Copy !req
203. So, you're from Tulsa.Copy !req
204. Close enough.Copy !req
205. Town called Hugo,Copy !req
206. down by the Texas border.Copy !req
207. Oh, Jesus.Copy !req
208. You were in New York on 11/2, huh?Copy !req
209. New Jersey, actually.Copy !req
210. You still scared shitless?Copy !req
211. Excuse me?Copy !req
212. I've heard that peopleCopy !req
213. who were in the psychic blast zoneCopy !req
214. still wake upCopy !req
215. in the middle of the night screaming.Copy !req
216. I sleep great.Copy !req
217. Cool.Copy !req
218. I see you joined the forceCopy !req
219. right after the White Night.Copy !req
220. Justice needed to be applied.Copy !req
221. And once they letCopy !req
222. you yahoos put masks on,Copy !req
223. you had an excuse to wrapCopy !req
224. your entire head in Reflectatine.Copy !req
225. Implying what?Copy !req
226. Guaranteed protectionCopy !req
227. from psychic blasts.Copy !req
228. Ergo, you sleep great.Copy !req
229. Market research. Is that your cover?Copy !req
230. So, you watch a bunch of idiotsCopy !req
231. and they tell you what they hateCopy !req
232. about the new flavor of Pringles,Copy !req
233. so, no one knowsCopy !req
234. you're secretly Mirror Guy?Copy !req
235. I know you know it's Looking Glass.Copy !req
236. But you can have Mirror Guy if you want.Copy !req
237. Okay. Thanks for coming by.Copy !req
238. That's it?Copy !req
239. That's it.Copy !req
240. Oh, shit. Wait.Copy !req
241. There was one other thingCopy !req
242. I wanted to ask you about.Copy !req
243. Um, what pills?Copy !req
244. I'm sorry?Copy !req
245. Well, I bugged the cactus on your deskCopy !req
246. and Angela Abar...Copy !req
247. Sorry. Sister NightCopy !req
248. was just asking about some pills.Copy !req
249. You bugged my cactus?Copy !req
250. Well, don't take it personally.Copy !req
251. I'm FBI. We bug shit.Copy !req
252. So...Copy !req
253. What pills?Copy !req
254. That's a personal issueCopy !req
255. between Sister Night and me.Copy !req
256. It would be a violationCopy !req
257. of her medical privacy to divulge it.Copy !req
258. - May I go?Copy !req
259. - You surely may, Mirror Guy.Copy !req
260. Some enchanted eveningCopy !req
261. You may see a strangerCopy !req
262. You may see a strangerCopy !req
263. Across a crowded roomCopy !req
264. And somehow you knowCopy !req
265. You know even thenCopy !req
266. That somewhere you'll see herCopy !req
267. Again and againCopy !req
268. Some enchanted evening...Copy !req
269. Don't look at me.Copy !req
270. Why not?Copy !req
271. I know you're beautiful under there.Copy !req
272. Just take it off.Copy !req
273. Let me see your face.Copy !req
274. You're never gonna see my face.Copy !req
275. Motherfuck.Copy !req
276. Did I do it right? What does that mean?Copy !req
277. It's not brain surgery.Copy !req
278. You just hit the big buttonCopy !req
279. in the shelter,Copy !req
280. and the goddamn siren shuts off.Copy !req
281. Of course, sir.Copy !req
282. I'm happy to schedule a technicianCopy !req
283. to provide an in-home tutorial—Copy !req
284. I do not need a tutorial.Copy !req
285. I have conducted over 500 drillsCopy !req
286. on this unit.Copy !req
287. It's your machine that's malfunctioning,Copy !req
288. not me.Copy !req
289. So, you need to replace it.Copy !req
290. Sir, I'm sorry,Copy !req
291. how often have you been running drills?Copy !req
292. As often as I deem necessary.Copy !req
293. Right. It's justCopy !req
294. the Alert Pro manual recommendsCopy !req
295. that you program an EDI simulationCopy !req
296. no more than once every six weeks.Copy !req
297. I don't give two brown turdsCopy !req
298. about the manual.Copy !req
299. - All right, sir.Copy !req
300. - When can you get me a new unit?Copy !req
301. We can ship one out to youCopy !req
302. by next Thursday—Copy !req
303. No, no, no, no. Uh-uh. No way.Copy !req
304. No good. I'm gonna need it sooner.Copy !req
305. Post haste. Soon as you can.Copy !req
306. We can do an overnight rush,Copy !req
307. but that's gonna costCopy !req
308. as much as the unit itself.Copy !req
309. No problem. That's great.Copy !req
310. - Overnight. Do that.Copy !req
311. - Yes, sir.Copy !req
312. And throw in another rollCopy !req
313. of Reflectatine while you're at it.Copy !req
314. Yes, sir. And thank youCopy !req
315. for being a valued customerCopy !req
316. of ExtraDimensional Security—Copy !req
317. When you find your true loveCopy !req
318. When you feel her call youCopy !req
319. Across a crowded roomCopy !req
320. Then fly to her sideCopy !req
321. And make her your ownCopy !req
322. Or all through your lifeCopy !req
323. You may dream all aloneCopy !req
324. Once you have found her,Copy !req
325. Never let her goCopy !req
326. Once you have found herCopy !req
327. Never let her goCopy !req
328. Okay, guys.Copy !req
329. What do you think of the cereal?Copy !req
330. It tastes like...Copy !req
331. Nothing.Copy !req
332. - Okay.Copy !req
333. Could you be a little more specific?Copy !req
334. I mean,Copy !req
335. everything tastes like something.Copy !req
336. This doesn't.Copy !req
337. What about the crunch?Copy !req
338. Raise your handCopy !req
339. if you like the way it crunches.Copy !req
340. Here at Forever Pet,Copy !req
341. we offer the splice of life,Copy !req
342. taking your beloved animal's unique DNACopy !req
343. and making an exact replica,Copy !req
344. so that you never have toCopy !req
345. say goodbye again.Copy !req
346. Our patented process...Copy !req
347. Hi. I'm here to see Cynthia Tillman.Copy !req
348. Bennett. Sorry, Cynthia Bennett.Copy !req
349. Howdy.Copy !req
350. Howdy yourself.Copy !req
351. Got some of your mail at the house.Copy !req
352. Damn post office.Copy !req
353. Three times I filled out that form.Copy !req
354. - Naked eye. Be honest.Copy !req
355. Do these dogsCopy !req
356. look exactly the same to you?Copy !req
357. That one's just a little smaller.Copy !req
358. Shit.Copy !req
359. You want her?Copy !req
360. What am I gonna do with a dog?Copy !req
361. I see the hat is back.Copy !req
362. Didn't have time to comb my hair.Copy !req
363. It's okay to admitCopy !req
364. that you're anxious, Wade.Copy !req
365. I'm fine. Just a little squidfall.Copy !req
366. Happens all the time.Copy !req
367. I was talking aboutCopy !req
368. your chief getting murdered.Copy !req
369. You wanna tell me about the pills?Copy !req
370. It's Nostalgia.Copy !req
371. Nostalgia?Copy !req
372. - You sure?Copy !req
373. - Yeah, I'm sure.Copy !req
374. Also sure they outlawed those,Copy !req
375. 'cause it turns out, putting memoriesCopy !req
376. into pill form led to psychosis.Copy !req
377. So, I highly recommend you tellCopy !req
378. your lady friend not to take them.Copy !req
379. I never said I got 'em from a lady.Copy !req
380. Did you get them from a lady?Copy !req
381. You have your pick of good women,Copy !req
382. so why do you keep getting mixed upCopy !req
383. with the ones that areCopy !req
384. just gonna kick you in the balls?Copy !req
385. I picked you. You're a good woman.Copy !req
386. And for seven years,Copy !req
387. I tried to convince youCopy !req
388. that I wasn't gonna run offCopy !req
389. with your clothesCopy !req
390. and leave you naked all by yourself.Copy !req
391. Seven years of bad luck.Copy !req
392. My mom was in fucking BrooklynCopy !req
393. when it happened.Copy !req
394. So, she caught that psychic blastCopy !req
395. full on.Copy !req
396. I mean, full fucking on.Copy !req
397. You know what it's likeCopy !req
398. to be raised by someoneCopy !req
399. who's always just waitingCopy !req
400. for the next big one?Copy !req
401. Squids, man.Copy !req
402. Fucking squids.Copy !req
403. I read an article.Copy !req
404. There's this thing...Copy !req
405. "Genetic Trauma."Copy !req
406. Basically, if something really badCopy !req
407. happens to your parents,Copy !req
408. it gets locked into their DNA.Copy !req
409. So, when my mom got hit by the blast,Copy !req
410. even though I wasn't bornCopy !req
411. until ten years after 11/2,Copy !req
412. it's like I inherited her pain.Copy !req
413. Friend of Nemo's?Copy !req
414. Welcome aboard.Copy !req
415. Thank you.Copy !req
416. Anyway...Copy !req
417. I keep calling EDS,Copy !req
418. but I always hang up.Copy !req
419. I don't wanna end upCopy !req
420. one of those fucking nuttersCopy !req
421. with my head wrappedCopy !req
422. in their magic tin foil.Copy !req
423. One day at a time, right?Copy !req
424. Just sometimes,Copy !req
425. I feel like it's never going to end.Copy !req
426. I was where you are.Copy !req
427. And I thought aboutCopy !req
428. that one-eyed fucker all the timeCopy !req
429. and it terrified me.Copy !req
430. But I am no longer afraid.Copy !req
431. On 11/2, the Soviet UnionCopy !req
432. was on the verge of annihilating us.Copy !req
433. And we were more than preparedCopy !req
434. to return the favor.Copy !req
435. Then that enormous, tentacledCopy !req
436. abomination teleported into New York.Copy !req
437. If it hadn't arrived when it did...Copy !req
438. We would all be ash.Copy !req
439. It united us against a common threat.Copy !req
440. Does it ever end?Copy !req
441. Of course, it does.Copy !req
442. Because we are all in a tunnelCopy !req
443. and every tunnel ends.Copy !req
444. It ends with light.Copy !req
445. And if you trust me,Copy !req
446. I will do my best to show you to it.Copy !req
447. Hands.Copy !req
448. We know there are other dimensionsCopy !req
449. than this one,Copy !req
450. but this is the dimension where we live,Copy !req
451. and we will not live in fear.Copy !req
452. Good night.Copy !req
453. Night.Copy !req
454. I don't know if anybody told you,Copy !req
455. but we meet on Tuesdays, too.Copy !req
456. Eight o'clock.Copy !req
457. Great.Copy !req
458. I don't believe you.Copy !req
459. - Sorry?Copy !req
460. - There's no light.Copy !req
461. You're still in the tunnel.Copy !req
462. I bet you're just as batshitCopy !req
463. as the rest of us.Copy !req
464. Bats do shit in tunnels.Copy !req
465. But sadly,Copy !req
466. there's no way to settle that betCopy !req
467. until we can assess your traumaCopy !req
468. relative to mine.Copy !req
469. Maybe you can shareCopy !req
470. when you come back Tuesday.Copy !req
471. I'm not coming back Tuesday.Copy !req
472. Okay. Fair enough.Copy !req
473. Follow me.Copy !req
474. Of course, they hated it.Copy !req
475. You can't call a cereal Smiley-O'sCopy !req
476. and not put sugar in it.Copy !req
477. Alas, sugar causes tooth decay,Copy !req
478. hyperactivity and the Big C.Copy !req
479. Come on. We used to eat buckets of sugarCopy !req
480. and we won Vietnam.Copy !req
481. Technically, Dr. Manhattan won Vietnam,Copy !req
482. but I concede the point.Copy !req
483. So, if all the kids say isCopy !req
484. whether they like the cereal or hate it,Copy !req
485. what do they need you for?Copy !req
486. Focus groups are rife with bullshit.Copy !req
487. They need me to determine truth.Copy !req
488. You can tell when people are lying?Copy !req
489. Indeed, I can.Copy !req
490. There's a skill I could have usedCopy !req
491. two husbands ago.Copy !req
492. So, what do you do?Copy !req
493. I'm a waitress.Copy !req
494. No, try again.Copy !req
495. Okay.Copy !req
496. I work in foreclosures.Copy !req
497. No, ma'am, you do not.Copy !req
498. I'm a radiologist.Copy !req
499. Indeed, you are.Copy !req
500. So, now, that we've establishedCopy !req
501. our... respective occupations,Copy !req
502. should we settle our bet?Copy !req
503. Our bet?Copy !req
504. As to our relative batshit-tedness.Copy !req
505. Is that all you want out of me, Wade?Copy !req
506. My squid story?Copy !req
507. No pressure, but yes.Copy !req
508. Well, it's fucking stupid.Copy !req
509. I mean, you were there on 11/2.Copy !req
510. - You're gonna be mad when I say it.Copy !req
511. - I promise I will not.Copy !req
512. Pale Horse.Copy !req
513. The movie.Copy !req
514. Pale Horse. It came out in '92.Copy !req
515. Steven Spielberg.Copy !req
516. - Won, like, a gazillion Oscars—Copy !req
517. - Right, right. Sure.Copy !req
518. - I haven't seen it.Copy !req
519. - Well, I've seen it a thousand times.Copy !req
520. At least that's when I stopped counting.Copy !req
521. I know everything about that movie.Copy !req
522. It's called Pale HorseCopy !req
523. because that's the name of the bandCopy !req
524. that was playing Madison Square GardenCopy !req
525. when the squid hit.Copy !req
526. Anyway...Copy !req
527. There's this one sceneCopy !req
528. with this little girl in a red coat.Copy !req
529. The movie is black and white,Copy !req
530. so, the red really pops, you know.Copy !req
531. Um...Copy !req
532. And the girl's stumbling aroundCopy !req
533. Herald Square.Copy !req
534. Walking under the tentacles,Copy !req
535. through all the dead bodies.Copy !req
536. And she's scared.Copy !req
537. And she's calling out for her mom.Copy !req
538. That just really stuck with me,Copy !req
539. you know.Copy !req
540. I mean, I know it's stupid,Copy !req
541. being obsessed with a movie,Copy !req
542. but watching itCopy !req
543. just makes me feel better.Copy !req
544. Face-your-fears thing.Copy !req
545. 'Cause I'm scared all the time,Copy !req
546. you know.Copy !req
547. I mean...Copy !req
548. There's a squidfall,Copy !req
549. and people just pull their cars overCopy !req
550. and turn their wipers on,Copy !req
551. like aliens aren't fallingCopy !req
552. from the fucking sky?Copy !req
553. Why isn't everybody petrified?Copy !req
554. The only time I'm not losing my mindCopy !req
555. is when I'm watching that filmCopy !req
556. or fucking.Copy !req
557. What?Copy !req
558. You know, fucking?Copy !req
559. And I'm drunk.Copy !req
560. I gotta call a friend for a ride home.Copy !req
561. I can take you home.Copy !req
562. You are also drunk.Copy !req
563. Cute, but drunk.Copy !req
564. Maybe you should call a friend, too.Copy !req
565. I don't have any friends.Copy !req
566. No, thanks. I don't partake.Copy !req
567. - It's just tobacco.Copy !req
568. - A controlled substance, nonetheless.Copy !req
569. - Where'd you get it?Copy !req
570. - Why, are you gonna call the cops?Copy !req
571. Used my last quarter calling a cab.Copy !req
572. It does smell awful good.Copy !req
573. Does it?Copy !req
574. You were right.Copy !req
575. I'm not out of the tunnel.Copy !req
576. At least, we're in it together.Copy !req
577. Here's my ride.Copy !req
578. See you Tuesday.Copy !req
579. See you Tuesday.Copy !req
580. Shit.Copy !req
581. Dispatch, this is Glass.Copy !req
582. Did we ever recover the truckCopy !req
583. from the guy that shot Sutton?Copy !req
584. Please repeat that.Copy !req
585. The truck. The lettuce truckCopy !req
586. the goddamn Kavalry was driving,Copy !req
587. did we ever recover it?Copy !req
588. That's a negative. Why?Copy !req
589. I'll call you back.Copy !req
590. Way to go, dummy. You sure can pick 'em.Copy !req
591. Another kick in the balls coming up.Copy !req
592. Dispatch, this is Glass.Copy !req
593. I have positively ID'd Seven-K suspects.Copy !req
594. Requesting backup.Copy !req
595. I'm at that abandoned department storeCopy !req
596. out on rural Route 9. Do you copy?Copy !req
597. Copy that. We're on our way.Copy !req
598. I heard it come out over here.Copy !req
599. The church.Copy !req
600. Forty degrees, south-southwest.Copy !req
601. - Wade.Copy !req
602. - Nobody move!Copy !req
603. Hey. He's here.Copy !req
604. Tulsa Police!Copy !req
605. Everybody, down on the ground!Copy !req
606. You, turn that fucking thing off.Copy !req
607. - Just be cool, okay?Copy !req
608. - Are you opening portals? Are you?Copy !req
609. - Let's just talk about this.Copy !req
610. - Answer me! Or I will shoot!Copy !req
611. - What the hell is going on here?Copy !req
612. - What's going on here, Wade,Copy !req
613. is that I went to a lot of troubleCopy !req
614. to bring you in.Copy !req
615. We even rigged the lettuceCopy !req
616. to fall off the damn truck.Copy !req
617. But if you're just gonna keep yelling,Copy !req
618. I'm not gonna be able to tell you why.Copy !req
619. Can you lower the gun, please?Copy !req
620. Blanks, Wade. Just to be safe.Copy !req
621. Oh, and that was us on your walkie, too.Copy !req
622. We boosted your signal.Copy !req
623. What is this?Copy !req
624. This is the only wayCopy !req
625. to show you the truth, Wade.Copy !req
626. I really am a radiologist.Copy !req
627. Reflectatine, huh?Copy !req
628. You put that in all your hats?Copy !req
629. Gotta protect the grey matterCopy !req
630. from psychic blasts, man.Copy !req
631. I hear that stuff does the trick.Copy !req
632. Is that why you madeCopy !req
633. your mask out of it?Copy !req
634. The one you wear to work?Copy !req
635. I know who you are, Looking Glass.Copy !req
636. Are you even tryingCopy !req
637. to disguise your voice, Senator?Copy !req
638. Shit. Am I still wearing my mask? Sorry.Copy !req
639. That is just incredibly rude.Copy !req
640. This is just for them.Copy !req
641. You're gonna kill me.Copy !req
642. What? Wade, buddy, why would I kill you?Copy !req
643. - You're a cop killer.Copy !req
644. - You mean the White Night?Copy !req
645. Come on. I'm not a murderer.Copy !req
646. I'm a politician.Copy !req
647. I came down here and assumed leadershipCopy !req
648. of these idiotsCopy !req
649. to prevent that shitCopy !req
650. from happening again.Copy !req
651. And my buddy, Judd,Copy !req
652. did the same as Chief of Police.Copy !req
653. Each of us managingCopy !req
654. our respective teams,Copy !req
655. so that we could maintain the peace.Copy !req
656. That's not true.Copy !req
657. Is anything true, Wade?Copy !req
658. Lord Jesus.Copy !req
659. You don't really care about any of this.Copy !req
660. Because all you really care aboutCopy !req
661. is what you saw usCopy !req
662. throwing those basketballs into.Copy !req
663. - You know what it was?Copy !req
664. - It was a CX924 teleportation window.Copy !req
665. Just like the oneCopy !req
666. they were playing around withCopy !req
667. at the InstituteCopy !req
668. for Transdimensional StudiesCopy !req
669. in Herald Square on 11/2.Copy !req
670. That is correct.Copy !req
671. You wanna guessCopy !req
672. what that bad boy is for?Copy !req
673. You're gonna open up a portal in Tulsa.Copy !req
674. Drop another squid on us.Copy !req
675. Come on.Copy !req
676. Where is the originality in that? No.Copy !req
677. No, we're gonna do something new.Copy !req
678. Wade...Copy !req
679. I'm gonna show you something,Copy !req
680. and after you see it,Copy !req
681. you're gonna walk out of hereCopy !req
682. and you're never gonna be afraidCopy !req
683. of big, teleporting aliens ever again.Copy !req
684. Because I'm gonna set you free.Copy !req
685. In return, I'm gonna ask youCopy !req
686. to do me a favor.Copy !req
687. Call it a squid pro quo.Copy !req
688. This Angela Abar...Copy !req
689. She either killed Judd CrawfordCopy !req
690. or she knows who did.Copy !req
691. Either way, she threatens to disruptCopy !req
692. the aforementioned peace.Copy !req
693. I know Agent Blake already suspects her,Copy !req
694. so how about you just help that along?Copy !req
695. Angela trusts you.Copy !req
696. Serve her up.Copy !req
697. And that way,Copy !req
698. I don't have to ask these racist OkiesCopy !req
699. to go to her house and kill herCopy !req
700. and her entire fucking family.Copy !req
701. I just need to get her off the board forCopy !req
702. a couple of days while I wrap things up.Copy !req
703. Your call, Wade.Copy !req
704. Either way works for me.Copy !req
705. All right.Copy !req
706. A couple weeks after I was electedCopy !req
707. Senator of the great State of Oklahoma,Copy !req
708. I was appointedCopy !req
709. to the Appropriations Committee,Copy !req
710. which sucked, because I wanted somethingCopy !req
711. sexy like Intelligence or Judiciary,Copy !req
712. but you get what you get,Copy !req
713. you don't get upset, so I accepted.Copy !req
714. And my very first day,Copy !req
715. they brought me into a little roomCopy !req
716. and they showed meCopy !req
717. what I'm about to show you.Copy !req
718. Took me a couple of yearsCopy !req
719. to pirate a copy for myself.Copy !req
720. So, Wade, you can tell your cop buddiesCopy !req
721. I'm running the Kavalry,Copy !req
722. and then I'll convince them allCopy !req
723. you're crazy,Copy !req
724. which will not be difficult,Copy !req
725. given your secret shiny hats.Copy !req
726. Or you can press play.Copy !req
727. And finally be free.Copy !req
728. I'll leave it entirely in your hands.Copy !req
729. Hello, Robert. Adrian Veidt here.Copy !req
730. Assuming my instructionsCopy !req
731. have been followed to the letter,Copy !req
732. today is January 21st, 1993,Copy !req
733. and you were just inaugurated.Copy !req
734. Allow me to be amongstCopy !req
735. the very first to say,Copy !req
736. "Congratulations, President Redford."Copy !req
737. So, I am recording this messageCopy !req
738. on November 1st, 1985,Copy !req
739. seven years in your past.Copy !req
740. How could I predictCopy !req
741. that you would be elected presidentCopy !req
742. with such incredible accuracy?Copy !req
743. Because I didn't predict it.Copy !req
744. I planned it.Copy !req
745. Here, in '85, the end is nigh.Copy !req
746. Nuclear holocaustCopy !req
747. between the United StatesCopy !req
748. and Russia is imminent.Copy !req
749. Fortunately, I planned for this, too.Copy !req
750. And the only way to stave offCopy !req
751. mankind's extinctionCopy !req
752. is with a weapon more powerfulCopy !req
753. than any atomic device.Copy !req
754. That weapon is fear.Copy !req
755. And I, Mr. President, am its architect.Copy !req
756. In 24 hours' time,Copy !req
757. that's seven years ago for you,Copy !req
758. an extra-dimensional monsterCopy !req
759. will materialize in Manhattan,Copy !req
760. unleashing a psychic blastCopy !req
761. that kills half the city's populationCopy !req
762. and traumatizes millions more.Copy !req
763. Yet, the monster will not have comeCopy !req
764. from another dimension at all.Copy !req
765. Well, it'll have come from me.Copy !req
766. A hoax, Mr. President.Copy !req
767. An elaborate,Copy !req
768. meticulously-engineered hoaxCopy !req
769. to save the world.Copy !req
770. Now, the hard part. What's next?Copy !req
771. The transition won't start immediately.Copy !req
772. The world will need time to heal.Copy !req
773. And, of course,Copy !req
774. I'll have to maintain the peaceCopy !req
775. with additional small-scaleCopy !req
776. extra-dimensional events.Copy !req
777. But now, I'm sure, as you watch this,Copy !req
778. mankind is ready for change.Copy !req
779. I envision a stronger, loving worldCopy !req
780. committed to caring for the weak,Copy !req
781. reversing environmental ruin,Copy !req
782. and cultivating true equality.Copy !req
783. I know you share these values.Copy !req
784. That's why I'll do all I can,Copy !req
785. and why I did all I could,Copy !req
786. to get you elected.Copy !req
787. But this will only work if you willinglyCopy !req
788. become my partner, Mr. President.Copy !req
789. My partner in building a utopia.Copy !req
790. But first, I'll need to earn your trust,Copy !req
791. and you, undoubtedly, have questions.Copy !req
792. If you'll indulge meCopy !req
793. for the next few hours,Copy !req
794. I think I have some answers.Copy !req
795. So, let's dive in, shall we?Copy !req
796. Chop-chop, everyone. Come on.Copy !req
797. Time is of the essence.Copy !req
798. Where is the... Ah, there we are.Copy !req
799. That's good, yeah.Copy !req
800. Ready, Mr. Philips!Copy !req
801. Safe travels, Master.Copy !req
802. Three, two...Copy !req
803. One!Copy !req
804. There you are.Copy !req
805. I did it!Copy !req
806. I did it!Copy !req
807. Was I not clear in my letter?Copy !req
808. I warned you.Copy !req
809. Time and time and time again.Copy !req
810. Yet, you continue to defyCopy !req
811. the laws of this landCopy !req
812. and those of us who serve it.Copy !req
813. And what do you serve,Copy !req
814. you wrinkled, piteous husk of a man?Copy !req
815. You serve only yourself!Copy !req
816. And for that,Copy !req
817. you must bear the consequence.Copy !req
818. Master Adrian Veidt...Copy !req
819. By the power vested in meCopy !req
820. as warden of these lands,Copy !req
821. I place you under arrest.Copy !req
822. May God have mercy on your soul.Copy !req
823. God?Copy !req
824. Your God's abandoned you.Copy !req
825. Why wouldn't he? You're pathetic.Copy !req
826. Every one of you!Copy !req
827. Alas, Master Veidt is correct.Copy !req
828. Our God has left us,Copy !req
829. and it is unlikely he'll return.Copy !req
830. No mercy it is.Copy !req
831. Take a minute.Copy !req
832. Soak it in before you say anything.Copy !req
833. And just tell us, in your own words,Copy !req
834. what Mercy smells like to you.Copy !req
835. Bullshit. Hooded JusticeCopy !req
836. was around in '40s.Copy !req
837. Dr. Manhattan didn't exist till 1960.Copy !req
838. So what? He could time-travel.Copy !req
839. He cannot fucking time-travel.Copy !req
840. I've watched every episode, man.Copy !req
841. And I'm telling you,Copy !req
842. Hooded Justice is Dr. Manhattan.Copy !req
843. - Yeah.Copy !req
844. - Well?Copy !req
845. - Well, what?Copy !req
846. - Do you have the pills?Copy !req
847. Is anything true?Copy !req
848. - What are you talking about, man?Copy !req
849. - Just tell me.Copy !req
850. Is anything true?Copy !req
851. You better stop playing around.Copy !req
852. Nostalgia.Copy !req
853. These are memories.Copy !req
854. Whose memories?Copy !req
855. I wanna help.Copy !req
856. They're my grandfather's.Copy !req
857. He was at the tree.Copy !req
858. He said he killed Crawford,Copy !req
859. but he's a hundred years old.Copy !req
860. It's not possible.Copy !req
861. So, I covered it up.Copy !req
862. I'm sorry.Copy !req
863. Sorry for what?Copy !req
864. Hands! Hands! Show me your hands.Copy !req
865. Do not fucking move.Copy !req
866. I had to, Angela.Copy !req
867. - What did you fucking do?Copy !req
868. - Fucking cuff her.Copy !req
869. I said, cuff her. Now. Now!Copy !req
870. Get the fuck up off me!Copy !req
871. Why?Copy !req