Wander Over Yonder 2x7

Directed by Dave Thomas

Rich Fulcher as Evil Sandwich (voice)

Lord Hater fires Commander Peepers, who is shocked to find how well Hater does without him.

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1. - This is nuts! Oh, good idea! - Squirrels love nuts!

2. Excuse me, ma'am. But would you happen to have any peanuts,

3. that my companion and I might use to entice your frightened little one home,

4. and back into the warm embrace of his lovin' family?

5. Oh, there he goes!

6. I'll save you!

7. Wander, no! I don't like the looks of that cave!

8. I know,

9. but if something horrible happens to that little guy, I'd never forgive myself.

10. But what if something horrible happens to you, Wander?

11. No, no, no!

12. Sorry. I love you.

13. I love you too, buddy,

14. but why is there this part of you that always has to do

15. the wrong things for the right reasons?

16. Watch Out! This is amazing!

17. Oh, thank grop he's okay. I'm gonna to throttle him.

18. Whoa! It's beautiful!

19. Well, I'll be! It's multiple me's!

20. Howdy-do to you!

21. I mean me!

22. - That is awesome! - I know, right?

23. What have I asked you about running off like that?

24. Promise you will never do that.

25. Hey, what did I just say?

26. Never hurts to help! Let's go! Yeah! This is great!

27. What is going on?

28. Hey, keep it down out here. I'm trying to sleep

29. Wander!

30. Wander? Wander!

31. What is going on?

32. The indigenous crystals have fractured the varying facets of my persona

33. and liberated them, sending them traipsing over the countryside hither and yon.

34. Time is of the essence. If the personality fragments are not reunited expeditiously,

35. the original specimen will disappear.

36. Okay, wait so he's him, and he is him, and you're him,

37. then that means that they're also him.

38. but if I don't get him and you and him back into him

39. then he won't be him anymore!

40. In an inarticulate, garbled manner of speaking...

41. Yes.

42. Thanks. That's all I needed.

43. Not so smart now, are you?

44. No! Is this the end of Overly-Dramatic Wander?

45. And scene.

46. Yes! You're gonna be okay, pal.

47. Just gotta get the rest of you's back into you.

48. Hey, pal! Come here!

49. No, no. No!

50. Oh, I get it.

51. You're the one that always runs off and does stuff, even though I tell you not to!

52. Well, fine.

53. Go. It's your fault. We're in this mess in the first place.

54. Wander's better off without you!

55. That's a lot of Wanders.

56. Four hundred twenty to be precise. There's angry Wander.

57. Burping Wander.

58. - Curious Wander. - Hey, what's that?

59. Distracted Wander. Easily-Impressed Wander.

60. - That's amazing! - Zen Wander.

61. They who act in haste, effort will they waste.

62. The Dancing Wanders.

63. Treehugger Wander.

64. - Man, scope out that view. - That's amazing!

65. - Hero Wander. - I'll save you!

66. Blonde Wig Wander

67. That's amazing!

68. I can't do this!

69. I love you.

70. I love you. I love you. I love you.

71. Don't be all down in the dumps. It's always sunny somewhere, Sylvie, old girl.

72. Sylvia! Sylvia! She's our man! If she can't do it, no one can.

73. Yeah, maybe you're right.

74. That's ama...

75. Okay, let's catch some Wanders using their traits as bait.

76. That rhymed! I love you.

77. Oh, no! You're a mess!

78. Mess, mess. Did someone say mess? Clean it up! Clean it up now!

79. Obsessy via Messy? Check and check!

80. - That also rhymed! I love you! - Five down, 415 to go!

81. Tea time! Time for girls to try on shoes and talk about lady things

82. Two helpless females all alone! I hope no bad guys are nearby!

83. Help! Help! Save me!

84. - I'll save you... - Save it. I am the hero now.

85. Smell that righteous grub.

86. You're doing great. I love you.

87. Gosh. Oh, golly, those Wanders over there sure looks sad.

88. I love you all!

89. And here's Wander! Wander?

90. Come on, buddy. Please.

91. What's wrong? I put them all back in.

92. Whom did I forget?

93. No, no, not him.

94. He's the one that always gets us into trouble, and he won't listen to me, anyway

95. if you don't accept all of us, you accept none of us.

96. Whoah, that's deep, dude.

97. He's just gonna causing trouble! And I don't wanna

98. Flabdrassin' Wanders. Make me do the wrong things for the right reasons.

99. This one always does whatever I tell him not to.

100. Gotcha! Are we sure about this?

101. Because my life is pretty crazy with this one in it.

102. But it'll be so much worse without you.

103. YEE-HAW!

104. Wander? Are you okay?

105. I'm more than okay.

106. I'm perfect now come trusty Steed,

107. it's time to stop that heartless evildoer.

108. Lord Hater once and for all!

109. Wait, what? Stop?

110. Yes! I am a good guy and he is a bad guy and I stop him!

111. No, no, no, no. The Wander I know wants to befriend Hater, not stop him.

112. Wait! Why are all these other Wanders still up there?

113. Something's not right.

114. Wander, that Crystal has no reflection.

115. We're still missing some part of you.

116. That's okay. I'm a lot better without it.

117. - Let's go go go! - No. I've learned my lesson.

118. Every part of you is important.

119. The helper seeks to help

120. because he knows what it is to be helpless.

121. Hey, little guy, it's okay. I won't hurt you. Come on.

122. Thanks, Syl. That was the most important part.

123. I wouldn't want someone else to go through what I went through.

124. Love that part of you, buddy.

125. Over? What do you mean it's over?

126. But I conquered you!

127. Your planet belongs to me.

128. Belonged to you.

129. Look, you really haven't been around a lot lately,

130. so we weren't even sure if you were still in the ruling us anymore.

131. so we, like, well, we met someone else.

132. Someone else? Who?

133. Is it Emperor Awesome? The Black Cube of Darkness? Dominator?

134. - It's, uh. It's the, - Evil Sandwich!

135. That's right. This is I Sourdough the evil sandwich,

136. and I have seized control of yet another one of your planet's Lord Hater.

137. Oh, yeah?

138. Well, I didn't even want that stupid planet anyway.

139. I got plenty of other planets that away better.

140. No, you don't! Have you checked the villain leaderboard lately?

141. Uh yeah! I don't know the exact number, but I'm like way up there.

142. - Right, Peepers? - Oh, the sandwich is right, sir.

143. That was the last planet we had control of in this system,

144. which knocks us completely of a villain board.

145. You're more of a "near-do-well" than a villain.

146. How bad are you with this?

147. Wow, You can't even do that right?

148. How did that work out for you?

149. Sir, this is exactly what I warned you about my report,

150. entitled "Oblique Strategies for Successful Masters of Evil."

151. I clearly stated that the only way to truly rule the galaxy...

152. is through careful planning, precise focus, and hard work.

153. - But, no! You! - Me?

154. Don't tell me what being evil is all about!

155. It's about being all scary, bad guy stuff!

156. Not uh, blah, blah, meeting stiff, business guy stuff.

157. Wow. I can't believe I never figured this out before.

158. The reason we've been failing all this time, is because...

159. you waste all our resources is trying to destroy

160. a happy go lucky do gooder who just wants to be your friend.

161. Because you and your boring plans have been keeping me down.

162. Civilian Peepers!

163. Uh, sir, with due respect, it's Commander.

164. Not anymore. You're fired

165. Oh, this isn't happening. This isn't happening.

166. This isn't happening.

167. He'll realize he made a mistake. He needs me.

168. - Peepers, I need you. - Of course, sir

169. - What can I do for you? - Before you go,

170. how do I like find planets to conquer?

171. Are they just sort of around, or...

172. Check the intergalactic matrix in the command console.

173. - The red button on the black thing. - Thanks

174. Man I'm so stoked to be running things without you getting in my way all the time

175. Anyway, you're still fired! Adios.

176. Peepers, wait.

177. - Yes? - You know those eyeball guys I have,

178. how often do I need to change their batteries?

179. They're not Robots? They're watchdogs.

180. Oh, they're dogs. Huh?

181. - So I gotta walk them then? - They're not dogs either they're...

182. Gotcha. Robot dogs feed them batteries.

183. Thanks, buddy. I owe you. Not enough to save your job though

184. - Peepers wait. - What?

185. Look, I realize now I may have been a bit hasty before.

186. - You do? - Yeah.

187. I almost forgot to ask you what's your log in password?

188. I need to erase you from the system.

189. Hater and Peepers forever

190. That's H-8-R-N-P33P3RS, with 3 for the e's, 4-E-V-R.

191. Delete that. Delete that. Delete that. Delete that. Delete that. Delete that.

192. Delete... actually no, these memories.

193. We've been through a lot together, haven't we?

194. Yes, sir. We sure have.

195. I'm having second thoughts

196. Instead of deleting these, could you just crop yourself out?

197. - Cool. Well, goodbye forever! - He'll see.

198. Wait'll he tries conquering something without me!

199. Where to? My friend.

200. Just drive.

201. - Who wants batteries? - Hater!

202. Well, well, well, Sourdough.

203. I must admit it was a pleasure to beat you Oh! I should've said eat you. Do over.

204. Wow, you're even bad at sandwich puns.

205. - Sad, why are you messing with my planets? - Oh, do you mean my planets?

206. The planets that used to be yours but are now totally mine

207. 'cuz I conquered 'em because I'm awesome and you're a dumb sandwich. Those planets?

208. You conquered! Deal with it, pimento brain!

209. What? You didn't conquer squat.

210. You just knocked off crowns, planted flags or did stupid dances.

211. Uh, yeah. I conquered them.

212. No, that's wrong.

213. You've got to leave a battalion behind. Establish infrastructure.

214. Don't you know anything about being an evil ruler?

215. - Uhhh - Where's the angry little smart guy?

216. The one who actually knows what evil is all about?

217. I know what evil is all about! Prepare to become a patty melt!

218. Uh, finger slipped?

219. Fire! Which one's the shieldy thing?

220. How are you so bad at this?

221. I conquered this entire quadrant and I'm a sandwich.

222. - You're a powerful electrical skeleton man - Shut your buns!

223. - Saline tester, I could do that. - Hey, Peepers. 'Sup? -Sir?

224. Just one last question. Not that I need your help

225. but if someone got in a major dogfight with a sandwich,

226. what would one do?

227. I thought I was in your way.

228. Oh, you were a big time.

229. And I can handle this, but I'm just going around getting second opinions.

230. I don't know. Is there maybe something you want to tell me first?

231. - Maybe you wanna say you're... - Sorry, nope. Uh, can't think of anything.

232. Hurry, Lord Hater, apologize!

233. - I don't wanna! - I'm waiting.

234. You want advice? In old galaxy, I work as villain.

235. Shut your face! Peepers, come on.

236. What did I ever do to you?

237. I'm sorry. You felt I did something wrong.

238. I'm sorry... that you're such a whiny over-sensitive baby!

239. No, no, no, no, wait, please. I can get this.

240. It was my bad. And I'm so...

241. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this.

242. Close enough.

243. Watchdogs! We're pulling a reverse Galaxon Phalanx

244. maneuver into an aggressive Cropdust Wedge! Eye fighters, deploy!

245. Shields, activate!

246. And with Sandwich's whole armada focused on us.

247. He's left his planets totally vulnerable!

248. Ooh, ooh. I wanna help. What can I do?

249. What you do best, sir?

250. Evil Sandwich! You're toast!

251. - Now for the finishing touch. - Evil Sandwich.

252. Hey, hater. So glad we're back together.

253. It was so embarrassing being ruled by a sandwich.

254. Well, I couldn't have done it without me.

255. If I hadn't fired Peepers this

256. - never would have happened. - No.

257. Sir...

258. Don't make me fire you again.

259. Commander Peepers!

260. Bleep bloop. Rules and planning. Strategy.

261. No emotion. Does not compute. Servo shutting down. Nee

262. System's operating at peak efficiency.

263. I am a giant nerd.