1. Hater!
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2. Oh, no! If the Black Cube
gets the Ring of Invincibility,
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3. he'll be unstoppable!
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4. Cube! Hey, Cube!
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5. I know you're in there!
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6. Where's my rent, Blockhead?
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7. Oh, no!
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8. You ain't pulling that soul-sucking,
Latin mumbo jumbo again!
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9. E pluribus you owe me money, Cube!
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10. You got 24 hours
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11. or you're out on your
hexahedronic heinie!
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12. Got it?
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13. That's what I get
for renting to a has-been villain!
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14. Hi, Cube.
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15. Uh, it's Stacy. Listen,
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16. we have to break up.
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17. I mean, I'm a nice girl,
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18. you're a concentrated block of pure evil.
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19. It's just not a good fit.
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20. Bye!
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21. Good morning!
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22. Need a hand?
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23. Wander!
That is the Black Cube of Darkness!
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24. We gotta get out of here
before he sucks out our souls!
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25. Aw, Syl! It never hurts to help!
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26. Do you know how often you say that
immediately before we actually get hurt?
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27. Whoah, whoah!
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28. Hey there, friend! Yeah, you!
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29. Having a rough day?
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30. Been there! But, take it from me,
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31. a bad attitude only makes it rougher!
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32. Learn to let go of anger
and you won't have to suffer!
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33. It's a beautiful day!
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34. Listen to the birds sing,
look at the sunshine!
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35. Let them be your guide,
and you'll be feeling fine!
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36. That's the spirit!
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37. Look at this joker!
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38. He's all like,
"Oh, good day to you, sir.
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39. "I am a shape!"
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40. What a square!
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41. It's funny because he's
different from us!
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42. Oh, my stars and garters!
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43. Oh! Why thank you so much!
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44. What a polite, young...
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45. It's the villainous
Black Cube of Darkness!
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46. He's come to steal my soul!
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47. Help! Police, help!
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48. Well, well, well!
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49. Look who finally decided
to show up for his shift!
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50. You're lucky I need you on the register,
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51. or I'd kick you out on your
parallela-piping posterior!
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52. Now, get out there!
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53. What a co-winky dink!
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54. - Hello again!
- Uh, yeah. Hi.
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55. I trust you enjoyed your
brisk morning walk?
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56. I can't believe you work here!
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57. You are so lucky!
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58. What a noble profession!
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59. Feeding the hungry,
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60. brightening up people's day!
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61. I would like a triple-pickle pie,
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62. and the honor of providing you
with the gratuity
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63. for all of your fine work!
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64. "What a co-winky dink!"
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65. If it is isn't our old friend!
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66. Let's see.
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67. I'll take a quadruple splatty melt,
no cheese, no pickles,
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68. extra cheese, seven pickles, ketchup,
classic, no sesame seed on the top bun...
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69. and a diet Thunder Blazz.
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70. Now my associate will have...
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71. You know you're fired, right?
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72. "Oh! Look at me!
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73. "I'm having a sad moment of
soul searching!"
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74. Must've lost his edge!
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75. Cubes have edges! Ha ha!
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76. Ooh! I'm so scared!
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77. Look! I'm shaking too! Ooh!
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78. What a loser! Ha ha!
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79. Help me! Somebody...
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80. He spent so much time
working on sick burns
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81. that he never learned to swim!
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82. What are we gonna do?
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83. Ew! Get your cube off of me, you cube!
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84. I don't want your help!
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85. What happened?
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86. - Oh, my grop!
- He totally sucked out your soul!
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87. That was your plan the whole time,
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88. wasn't it?
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89. In fact, I think maybe you
pushed me off that bridge!
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90. We gotta help him, Syl!
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91. Wander, no! Wait!
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92. Black Cube!
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93. Please! Don't freak out!
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94. Wander!
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95. This is all your fault!
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96. He was only trying to help you!
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97. How could you do this to him?
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98. You should all be ashamed of yourselves!
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99. This guy saved that kid's life!
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100. All he wanted was to be a good guy
for once!
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101. But you're all so focused
on the bad stuff
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102. that you never look for the good stuff
inside him!
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103. I mean, heck!
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104. After what you all put him through,
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105. I don't blame him for freaking out!
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106. Haven't any of you ever had a lousy day?
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107. My twin brother forgot to call me
on my birthday.
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108. My twin brother forgot to call me
on my birthday!
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109. I didn't make the soccer team.
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110. I did make the soccer team,
but I hate soccer!
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111. I'm suffering from a distinct case
of ennui.
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112. Also, I use words I don't understand
to sound important.
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113. And my best friend and I are on the run
from a series of evil villains
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114. but that doesn't mean we go out
and ruin someone else's day.
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115. Sometimes, the only solution
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116. is to tell someone,
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117. "I'm sorry you had a bad day."
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118. We're all just little black
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119. cubes of darkness!
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120. Sector G, hall one,
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121. all clear.
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122. Sector G, hall two,
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123. all clear.
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124. Sector G, hall three.
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125. Oh! Hi!
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126. Oh, I didn't see you there.
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127. Hey, you know, you're not really
allowed in here.
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128. Top secret security stuff.
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129. But, if you've ever wondered about
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130. what keeps Lord Hater's
galactic domination machine running,
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131. well, then, you're in for a real treat,
because it's time for...
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132. This is Eye On the Skull Ship!
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133. I'm Andy, your humble host,
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134. and I'd like to welcome you
to a very special episode.
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135. We all know that life on the
Skull Ship can be tedious at times,
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136. one routine work day
seamlessly blending into the next.
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137. But today is going to be different.
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138. Today, I'm proud to bring you...
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139. A one-on-one with Lord Hater!
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140. That's right.
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141. I put in a formal request
to interview our esteemed leader and...
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142. Oh, my gracious!
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143. Maybe that's Hater now. Okay.
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144. Hello, you're live
on Eye On the Skull Ship with Andy,
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145. chief security monitor...
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146. I know who you are, Andy!
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147. This is Commander Peepers.
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148. Once again, your request to interview
Lord Hater has been rejected
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149. on grounds that it's not your job
to make this stupid show!
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150. Well,
it's not my job, per se.
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151. But you know, I think it's my duty
to help enlighten...
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152. - Just keep an eye on your sector.
- Yes, sir! Always do.
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153. No, you don't!
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154. Well, slight change of plans.
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155. Looks like we won't be talking
to Lord Hater.
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156. But fret not, dear viewers.
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157. I know you're dying to see him,
and I won't give up until I give
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158. you...
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159. what you want!
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160. In the meantime, I bet you're wondering...
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161. What's for lunch?
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162. That's right. It's the 453rd time
we find out exactly
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163. what the Watchdogs are eating for lunch.
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164. Excuse me, fellow Watchdog.
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165. What refreshing and replenishing meal
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166. has been graciously given to you
by our generous leader
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167. Lord Hater?
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168. Oh, wow. Uh, hi.
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169. Um, apparently, I have never been on
live television before,
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170. and apparently, I'm having enchiladas.
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171. Apparently.
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172. Fascinating!
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173. - And what delicious...
- Enchiladas!
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174. Enchiladas!
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175. Chef, tell us, enchiladas.
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176. Was this meal specifically chosen
by Lord Hater's decree?
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177. Uh... no.
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178. Taco Tuesday was yesterday,
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179. so there was leftovers,
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180. and I decided to make, uh,
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181. enchiladas.
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182. Hmm, interesting.
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183. So does Lord Hater like enchiladas?
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184. I don't know.
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185. All I know is,
I didn't want the stuff to go to waste,
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186. so I reused it today.
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187. Hm, yes. But Lord Hater see...
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188. The thing with...
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189. The thing with ground beef is,
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190. you gotta...
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191. Self-defense,
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192. where the Watchdogs closest to Hater,
his elite ground troops,
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193. learn the fine art of conquering.
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194. And if we're lucky,
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195. Lord Hater might make a surprise pop-in
to inspect the troops.
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196. To be the best takes months of
intense training in areas like
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197. Advanced Sylvia Defense,
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198. and, of course, Wander Avoidance Tactics.
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199. I know he wants to be
your friend.
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200. I know he wants to play carnival games.
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201. I know he knows all your names,
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202. and birthdays,
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203. and how you like to spend a rainy Sunday
with a crossword and a cup of chamomile.
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204. I mean, he is really not such a bad guy.
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205. No!
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206. Wander is pure, unadulterated love!
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207. I'm sure our resident drill instructor
has a host of exciting Hater stories
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208. to share with us.
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209. - You're darn right I do! One time...
- Andy!
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210. Why aren't you at your post?
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211. Uh, gotta go! Tune in next time!
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212. We are live from Level H8,
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213. Hater's private floor.
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214. Only Watchdogs in Hater's inner circle
are allowed on this level.
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215. I hope to speak with someone
close to the big man himself.
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216. Though it's risky, it's worth it,
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217. because this is the story
every Watchdog is waiting for.
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218. I wonder who we'll...
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219. Oh, my gosh!
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220. That was Captain Tim,
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221. Lord Hater's personal pet.
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222. This is a sure-fire exclusive!
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223. We're here with Lord Hater's personal pet,
and dog walker.
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224. Wow. What I wouldn't give to work
so closely with our great leader.
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225. Be my guest!
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226. Welcome again to
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227. Eye On the Skull Ship.
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228. Thanks to some of the guys
in the infirmary,
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229. I was able to secure an exclusive place
at one of Hater's rallies!
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230. Woo... Ow, ow!
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231. Fear not, viewers.
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232. Though I can barely see, or hear
our esteemed leader,
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233. I assure you, I will get at least
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234. some of the Hater coverage you demanded.
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235. He's talking about his hated rival,
Lord Dominator.
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236. Boo!
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237. And now he's saying he'll
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238. conquer
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239. her heart?
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240. That can't be right.
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241. Well, Peepers seems to be getting
very upset about this.
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242. Hater's pulling out what appears to be
some kind of...
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243. It's the T-shirt cannon!
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244. "I Heart Dominator"?
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245. Oh, boy.
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246. Hello, all. After a serious close call
with Commander Peepers,
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247. your humble host
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248. has decided to do the show entirely
from the safety of his security office,
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249. so he won't
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250. get fired.
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251. But! You won't believe who stopped by
for a little chat with us.
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252. The one and only
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253. Lord Hater!
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254. Hi, Andy.
It sure is an honor to be here.
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255. Huge fan of the show.
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256. Really? Oh, well, sir,
that really means the world to me.
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257. And each and every one of you Watchdogs
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258. mean the world to me, Andy.
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259. In fact, I'd like to thank all the
Watchdogs for their tireless service.
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260. They're truly the backbone
of the Skull Ship, and...
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261. Oh. Who am I kidding?
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262. I'm sorry, everyone. I was a fool
to think I could give you a good show.
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263. I'll never get a Lord Hater interview.
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264. Hey, uh...
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265. my printer stopped working.
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266. It says I need toner.
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267. Are you Toner?
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268. I, uh...
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269. You TV here?
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270. Yes, sir.
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271. Unless, that would get me in trouble.
In which case, no.
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272. How many people watch your show?
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273. Oh, it goes out all over.
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274. All over, huh?
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275. Dear viewers, it is with the deepest pride
that I present to you
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276. the man, the myth,
the leader I'm honored to serve.
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277. The greatest in the galaxy,
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278. Lord Hater.
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279. Lord Hater, how are you?
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280. Good to be here, Toner.
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281. Listen up, and listen good!
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282. All you poser villains out there
better recognize
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283. who the G-est in the G is!
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284. It's Lord Hater, number one superstar!
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285. You want a piece of me, Emperor Dork-some?
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286. Got beef, Sandwich?
Then bring it on, losers!
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287. I will lightning you so hard,
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288. that you'll be all, like,
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289. - Sir, excuse me.
- "Oh, no, lightning! Help me!"
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290. How dare you interrupt my righteous rant
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291. to the galaxy?
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292. I'm sorry, sir. It's just that,
you see,
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293. when I said the show went out all over,
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294. I meant all over the Skull Ship.
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295. Not the galaxy.
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296. Wait. So who actually watches this?
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297. Well, I don't have the
exact figures handy...
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298. It certainly has the potential
to be viewed by,
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299. you know, anyone on the ship, so,
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300. mostly Watchdogs, I think.
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301. Watchdogs?
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302. You make a show for Watchdogs?
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303. That's the stupidest, lamest thing ever!
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304. I mean, really?
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305. This show is stupid! You're stupid.
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306. You should both be cancelled. Hater out!
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307. Sector G, hall one,
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308. all clear.
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309. Sector G, hall two,
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310. all clear.
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311. Sector G, hall three,
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312. all clear.
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313. Commander Peepers.
I promise I stopped doing my stupid show.
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314. Nothing is going on.
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315. I know, that's the problem!
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316. Andy fan, best show!
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317. The Watchdogs are rioting!
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318. Apparently, they wanna watch your
weird little show about them.
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319. They claim your interviews
made them feel special. Bleh!
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320. Wow! You mean,
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321. I didn't need a Hater interview?
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322. I was making the show the Watchdogs
wanted all along?
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323. A show that made them feel special? Wow.
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324. I mean that...
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325. That makes me feel special...
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326. Just make your stupid show!
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327. Enchiladas!
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328. Welcome to Eye On the Skull Ship,
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329. the only show for Watchdogs,
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330. about Watchdogs,
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331. by a Watchdog for Watchdogs.
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332. I am your humble host, Andy the Watchdog,
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333. and today, I am here with Giuseppe,
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334. the ship's tailor.
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335. So, what's your secret?
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336. You see,
Watchdogs have the very big heads,
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337. and the very skinny necks.
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338. So it's all about the stretchy shirts.
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339. Then it's about the beanies,
and the booties, and the glovies.
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340. If the Watchdogs no look good,
Giuseppe no look good.
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341. Fascinating.
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342. Bleh! Why would anyone watch this?
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343. I don't know, sir. I just don't know.
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