Wander Over Yonder 2x14

Directed by Dave Thomas • Eddie Trigueros

'Weird Al' Yankovic as Dr. Screwball Jones (voice) • Sam Riegel as Emperor Awesome (voice) • Rich Fulcher as Evil Sandwich (voice) • Fred Tatasciore as Kragthar (voice)

Wander discovers Dominator is a girl and tries to set her up with Hater.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. You snuck onto Dominator's ship to...

2. Discover her breakfast beverage of choice.

3. Coffee gal. Would've pegged her for a tea person.

4. Now she's gonna peg us.

5. Oh, that's it!

6. I am sick and tired of Dominator!

7. Sick and tired of running, of being blasted,

8. and I am sick and tired of this galaxy.

9. This is too hard.

10. I... need... a...

11. break!

12. Sorry, pal, but we have gotta get outta here.

13. No, Sylvia, we've gotta get Dominator and Hater together.

14. There is literally nothing in the galaxy

15. that could stop me from uniting those two in love.

16. You wanna meet my family?

17. Sylvia's home world, here we come!

18. Sylvia, did you play on this street?

19. Sylvia, did you eat in that diner?

20. Sylvia, do you know that guy? What about her, or him?

21. Just because I'm from here doesn't mean I know everybody.

22. - Hey, Joe. - Whassup, Syl? Long time no see.

23. Hey, house. Glad to see you haven't changed.

24. Man, Ma's gonna flip when she sees me.

25. Wander, she's not gonna flip that much. Put that hug away.

26. But I've got room in here for your whole family.

27. No!

28. Perfect.

29. - I'll get it. - No, I will!

30. Uh, hey, Bill, Phil, Gil.

31. Syl!

32. Glad to see you, too, you narfin' froods.

33. Language.

34. - Ma! - Oh, hey, Sylvia.

35. Good to see ya. Take the groceries, huh?

36. - She seems... nice. - Oh, she'll be fine.

37. She's probably just a little sore

38. because I kinda sorta left home without telling anybody.

39. - You did what? - Oh, she's a tough old broad.

40. She'll bust my chops for a bit,

41. and then everything will be right as rain.

42. Now that that's done, time for a little rest and reclination.

43. Lord Dominator has taken down yet another planetary system...

44. Ugh! What else is on?

45. Whew!

46. Syl, dinner isn't gonna cook itself.

47. I can help.

48. No, you're our guest.

49. Sylvia!

50. So, you guys must have all kinds of wacky stories about Sylvia.

51. Sylvia, quiet that monkey down.

52. I'm trying to watch this, uh... colors show.

53. Oh, I'm no monkey. Folks call me Wan...

54. He's not a monkey. He's a cat.

55. So let me ask you something there, monkey-cat.

56. - How much you bench? - Oh, please, when have you seen a cat?

57. Uh, just last week, I saw two cats.

58. Two cats, he says. Uh, this guy.

59. So, Gram, you must have some stories about Sylvia.

60. I don't like you.

61. Peel these.

62. - And those. - Grop!

63. - Language. - Sorry. Do you have a...

64. peeler?

65. So, Ma, things seem like they're...

66. I like what you've done with...

67. It's...

68. just... so...

69. nice... to.. be... home.

70. - What was that? - Nothin'.

71. Good. When you're done, you can start on the carrots.

72. Um, is there a salad?

73. I'm sorry. A what?

74. It's all right, Ma.

75. He means, like, bananas and nuts. Stuff monkeys eat.

76. You sure you wouldn't like a nice saucer of milk...

77. kitty?

78. Here you go, buddy.

79. Syl, you remember the butter?

80. So, cat-monkey, how do you and my sister know each other?

81. Actually, Sylvia's been helping me help folks

82. all over the galaxy.

83. Oh, yeah. What do you get paid to help?

84. Just the warm satisfaction of knowing our friends are happy.

85. Huh. So nothin' then. Where do you live?

86. We live wherever the stars take us.

87. They're space hobos.

88. No, look, we help people by trying to thwart villains...

89. Fat-free. Cholesterol.

90. Seriously? You beat up bad guys?

91. Oh, gracious, no. I don't hit anyone.

92. I prefer to use the power of love.

93. Besides, there's no stronger muscle than your heart.

94. Dirty space hippie.

95. - You tellin' me you never hit no one? - Cats don't hit, they scratch.

96. So do monkeys. They'll scratch your eyes out.

97. He's not a monkey!

98. All right. Finally. I am...

99. - May I please be excused? - Okay.

100. After you clean the dining room.

101. I'm sick and tired of Mom.

102. So... how's it going?

103. I'm sick and tired of working,

104. I'm sick of being bossed around,

105. and I'm sick and tired of this house!

106. This is too hard. Like I said, I need a break.

107. Sorry, pal, we've gotta get outta here.

108. Oh, so you're leavin' again.

109. - Ma, don't start. - Oh, it's fine.

110. Things are maybe a little too tough for you here.

111. I feel like things are getting to that yelling place

112. where I get thrown against the table again, so...

113. Well, maybe if you were a little easier on me,

114. like you are with my stupid stay-at-home brothers.

115. - Are you callin' me stupid? - Yeah, you're stupid!

116. - Flabdrassit, that's enough! - Language.

117. Everyone, TV room, now!

118. This is a talking stick.

119. Only the person holding the talking stick can talk.

120. Now, Miss Dorothy, you go first. "I feel..."

121. I feel like an idiot holding this stick.

122. But how do you feel about Sylvia?

123. Well, she'd also look like an idiot holding this stick.

124. See? That's what she always does.

125. You can only speak when you're holding the stick!

126. Any questions?

127. - Do you like bananas? - Or tuna fish?

128. I've been meanin' to ask you, how much did you say you can bench?

129. Did anyone else see the cat-monkey eyeing my pearls?

130. He's not eyeing your pearls, Gram. It's much...

131. No, no, no!

132. No, this is not promoting positive family values.

133. Stop!

134. Ma, I'm sorry you're mad at me because I left.

135. I'm not mad you left.

136. I'm mad because you came back.

137. Huh? Ow, ow, ow, ow!

138. I'm wicked proud of you.

139. Your pop would've been, too.

140. - You... You kept all this? - Of course I did.

141. You harass that Hater jerk something fierce.

142. Now that there's a bigger jerk

143. trying to conquer the galaxy, you're givin' up?

144. That's not my fearless, gutsy girl.

145. So you either go out there and deal with Dominator,

146. or stay here and deal with Dorothy.

147. But either way, it's not gonna be easy.

148. Okay, Ma, I'll take care of the galaxy.

149. Then I'll take care of the dishes.

150. I can't take this anymore!

151. I love you, Sylvia's family!

152. Oh, so that's how much you bench.

153. I think he's going for my purse!

154. Okay, there's Dominator's ship.

155. What do I say to her?

156. "Hey, baby, are you 10,000 tons of molten lava,

157. 'cause you're melting my heart."

158. Oh, yeah, that's good. Okay, here she comes.

159. You're totally cool and awesome.

160. You're awesome, awesome, you're...

161. Awesome?

162. Peepers!

163. Emperor Awesome? What's he doing there?

164. - That's what I said! - Okay, stay calm.

165. Lots of people have white-striped space limos.

166. It might not be him.

167. Oh, you're right, Peepers. It could belong to anyone.

168. Hey, babe, it's me, Emperor Awesome. Can I come in?

169. This is the worst thing that's ever happened.

170. This doesn't make sense.

171. Why would Dominator let Emperor Awesome on her ship?

172. He hasn't been a contender in ages. Unless...

173. He's got some kind of new secret weapon.

174. What's the point in trying anymore, Peepers?

175. I might as well just spend the rest of my days

176. aimlessly wandering the galaxy,

177. singing songs and helping folks.

178. They'll be unstoppable. Nothing will ever be the same!

179. They'll take over the galaxy together.

180. They're totally gonna date each other.

181. What?

182. Do you think Dominator and Awesome are just dating?

183. You think Dominator and Awesome are just gonna take over the

184. galaxy together in a totally non-girlfriend-boyfriend way?

185. Whoa. That's way better.

186. Oh, too bad I'm right.

187. I hope so, sir. We have to find out the truth.

188. But how?

189. What are they saying?

190. Don't worry. I can totally read lips.

191. "Can you take my rabbit for a walk on Tuesday?"

192. "No way, bro.

193. His leash is made of beefsteak, and that's not sanitary.

194. I could make him a congressman instead, bro."

195. Whew! Nothing to worry about. They're only talking

196. about weird stuff that doesn't make any sense.

197. What? What is it?

198. No! Oh, he's so smooth! Well, I can dance, too.

199. He's not trying to woo her.

200. He's demonstrating how he destroys planets

201. with his planet-destroying parties.

202. No, he's doing a smooth dance,

203. and Dominator's gonna be super impressed,

204. and they're totally gonna smooch!

205. Where'd they go?

206. Probably to the smooching room.

207. The smooching room?

208. I've mapped out her whole ship with a super scientific

209. algorithm based on what I've seen of it so far.

210. Here's her inner sanctum, here's the war room,

211. the arsenal, the smooching room, the bedroom,

212. this part is mostly shoes and purses and stuff.

213. The back-up smooching room.

214. Sir, I seriously doubt an evil villain

215. has a smooching room, let alone two.

216. We've got six.

217. Sir, we've gotta get a closer look.

218. One of us will have to sneak on board her terrifying ship.

219. Lord Hater, it's an honor to be chosen for this mission.

220. I won't let you down, I swear.

221. All right, soldier, you're looking for a big, scary...

222. - But beautiful... - Lady lava villain.

223. Don't let her see you or you're doomed.

224. And also a totally lame but thinks he's cool shark guy.

225. Yeah, watch out for him, too.

226. If he sees you, you're also doomed.

227. The bots. Don't forget the bots.

228. Right, the bots. Watch out for her army

229. of literally thousands of killer bots.

230. If they catch you, you're super doomed. Got it?

231. Uh-huh. On second thought...

232. Good luck, soldier.

233. Yes!

234. Uh, Jerry, stop shaking the camera and find the smooching room.

235. It's down the passage on your left.

236. There is no smooching room! Look for the war room.

237. See if you can find Awesome's secret weapon.

238. Jerry, bots coming from up ahead.

239. Go back the way you came.

240. No, they're coming from behind you.

241. Rush forward in a blind panic.

242. Zig-zag, zig-zag. Run in a zig-zag pattern.

243. You'll be harder to shoot.

244. Run right at 'em; it'll totally confuse 'em.

245. Jerry, get outta there.

246. We didn't send you to spy on the inside of a closet.

247. Sh! Listen.

248. I'm tellin' ya, D, you're gonna go crazy for my secret weapon.

249. It's gonna sweep you off your feet.

250. I'm interested. Tell me more about this secret weapon.

251. This confirms my worst fears! Wait, what?

252. - Jerry, stop crying. - We can't hear anything!

253. No! What happened? Come back.

254. Oh, his tears must've shorted out the camera.

255. There's only one thing to do, sir.

256. If we wanna know what's going on,

257. we'll have to go see for ourselves. But how?

258. Okay, it looks like a left ahead.

259. On my signal, and now. Turn left.

260. - I said left, sir. Left! - My left or your left?

261. We have the same left!

262. Do you know which way left is?

263. - What's that? - It must be Awesome's secret weapon.

264. We can't let it reach Dominator.

265. Gotta play this cool so as not to rouse suspicion.

266. Hello, fellow fist fighter.

267. What a lovely... I'm taking this out!

268. Left!

269. - No! - What?

270. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

271. There you are. Finally.

272. Eep.

273. O mighty lord Dominator, we present to you Emperor

274. Awesome's totally awesome top secret weapon,

275. guaranteed to conquer the galaxy... and your heart.

276. Oh, no, we were both right.

277. They are taking over the galaxy together.

278. And they are dating. Peepers, what do we do?

279. Hey, babe,

280. heard you were looking for a secret weapon.

281. Well, check out these guns! Whoa!

282. No! That's so cool!

283. Karate.

284. As you can see, I've set them to stun. Huh? Huh?

285. Oh, wow. Oh, and I thought you were all talk.

286. I didn't think you'd actually try anything. I'm impressed.

287. Oh, thank grop, you were right.

288. They're just dating. There's no secret weapon.

289. What a relief.

290. Now they're gonna smooch, get married, and have babies,

291. - and I'm gonna be alone forever. - Oh, you're not alone, sir.

292. You have me and the Watchdogs. Who needs Dominator anyway?

293. Why, if she can't see that you're really

294. the greatest in the galaxy, then she doesn't deserve you.

295. - Really? You think? - Of course.

296. Besides, I don't think there's gonna be any smooching. Look.

297. You know, when you showed up,

298. I was, like, right, like I'm letting that scrub on my ship.

299. But it was a slow day, no big planets to dominate,

300. nothing but reruns on, so I figured, maybe he does have

301. some kind of secret super weapon.

302. At least it would be entertaining. But you know what?

303. I never guessed what a pathetic waste of time you'd be.

304. Do you really think I'd let you ride my coattails to the top? Ha!

305. Get real, buster!

306. Not even that idiot Hater is as delusional as you.

307. - She knows my name! - She called you an idiot.

308. An idiot whose name she knows!

309. Don't be like that, babe.

310. C-Come on, what about all the good times?

311. Hey, take it easy, D.

312. That's Lord Dominator, if you're nasty.

313. Baby, wait!

314. Bots.

315. - She hates Awesome and loves me. - Sir.

316. Hater's gonna date her, Hater's gonna date her.

317. - Oh, yeah, oh, yeah! - Sir!

318. Yeah! She likes me!

319. Sir, she's cold and heartless.

320. I really don't think she wants to date anyone.

321. Cold and heartless?

322. You're just jealous. She's not so bad.

323. Sir? Come in, sir.

324. You left me on Dominator's ship.

325. Ugh! What is with these guys?